The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, August 16, 1845, Image 1

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I liave sworn upon the Alter of God, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over the Blind of Man." Thomas Julhirnon
Volume IX.
orrosiTE fer. Tail's Cuvkch, Main-si
77ie COrUMUUl DEMOCRAT trill be
published evert Saturday morning, al
i n U Ul)Li1l(!i per annum payanie
half yearly in advance, or Two Dollar
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No subscription will betaken for a shorter
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tinuance pcrmitted,until all arrearages
are discharged.
JtDVERTl SEMENS not exceeding a
square will lie conspicuously inserted at
One Dollar Jor the Jirst tlirtexnscrnom
und Twentu-fiue cents for event subse
quenl nser'tion. ICT". liberal discoun
made to those, who advertise by the year
LETTERS addressed on business, must
be post paid.
THE G . ill L A. XI)
With mvutnl fluwert enrieh'd,
From varkus gardens cidl'd with cure.
.Tim Girts of Illoomsbiirg.
They are sweet sb b hillock
All covered wilh roses,
Where ihe humming biril sports.
And (he sky lark reposes,
Where the mild breathing zephyr,
Would linger wilh pleasure,
But cannot, and sighs
That he is not al leisure.
The glance of their eyes,
Though sportive nd tender,
Makes bold hearted youths,
At descretion surrender,
Who, castiug their arms,
Not indeed al ilieir feet,
Dul around their fair necks,
Think captivity sweet.
Ai the dove, they are harmless,
Devoted, and true,
As the humming-bird, beautiful
Bathing in dew.
To bless and he blest
To be generous, and kind.
To love, and be loved,
They weie surely des:gned.
THE P E 0 p L E'S A N T II E M
Lord, from thy blessed ihrone,
In sorrow look down upon!
God save the poor!
Teach Ihein true liberty.
Make them from tyrants free!
Lot their homes happy be!
God save the poor
The arms of wicked men
Do thou with might restrain;
God save the poor!
Raise thou their low line's;
Succor thou ilieir distress
Thou whom the meanest bless!
God save the poor.'
Give them staunch honesty;
Lei their pride manly be;
God save the poor!
(Help them to hold the right,
Give iheaj both iruth and might,
Lord of all Truth and Light!
God save the pooi!
Tell me, my soul, 0 tell me why
The faltering tongue, the broken. sigh?
Why is my cheek bedewed with tears,
And whence arise my coward fears?
Whence conscious guilt arrests.lhe mind.
Avenging furies stalk behind;
And sickly fancy intervenes,
To dress the visionary scenes.
Jesus! to thee I flee for aid,
Propitious Sun, dispel the shade;
All the-aale family of fear
Wd.uU vr.ih were my Sayioui here!
I he Deacon was a man who never did
any thing by halves, whs nevei made
iwo bites of a t herry, is his family Ins
lory will show.
Acting on the spnr of those new feeling?
which had sprung up in his bosom, he
went resolutely forward in his purpose dec
orating the village green with 'an elegant
uieetin' us,' and by a singular coincidence
ihe corner stone of that edifice was laid on
the very day which mado him the father
of two lusty boys,
The foundation of ihe church being laid
under such auspicious circumstances, and
with such omens of fertility and speedy in
rease, the work went on wilh greal vigoi
ind h gh hopei A spacious frame work
was erectea on its foundation, run fed.
hingled, clapboarded and painted wilh sur
pnsing expedition. I tie inside of the
hutch was nol so speedily completed, and
consequence of some unavoidable drlay,
it was determined to open the 'Church' for
worship tit once, but to postpone the formal
ledication till the whole of the work was
Accordingly, ag soon as the lower floor
was laid, and the pews and pulpit erected,
Ithough scarcely anything had been done
10 the 'gallery,' public worship was had in
die new house-. A few loose planks were
irrangcd in the gallery to accomodate .the
singers, and Hie crowd of urchins that al
ways swarm around the highest in
our synagogues. I o keep these in order,
well ,88 to lead the music, ('lor he
was both ly thing nun and chorister,) the
Deacon took his seat also in the gallery
Alas! he little foresaw the catastropy that
i waived him, but in happy security joined
in Ihe psalmody, pouring forth a cataract ct
melody ,and making the ears of the audienci
n tingle wilh the rich nassal twang of lii-
stentorian voice. I he psalms were sung.,
ihe prayers were prayed, and the cho
sen chapter of Holy Writ hid been
read, when the venerable Elder Mack ios
in the pulpit and annotir.eed the text. A
that unlucky moment, the Deacon's alien
lion was caught by the grimaces of a younj;
rogue who was 'taking oh"' the Ainisier,
sui rounded by a half a dozen oihers read
to plit with surpressed laughter. The
pectucle was intolerable.
The sight no longer Blount could beat!
Hy heavens and ill its saints I swear,
I'll hit his head a knock!'
The angry Deacon sprang furiously for
ward to visil the pate of the offending tir-
hin with an admonitory rap, trod thought
ly, but wilh all his weight, on the unsup
ported end of an unfastened board, and in
moment, he found himself making a fly
iug leap into the midst of the congregation
below. lie landed most gracefully astride
ihe neck and shoulder of a corpulent old
auy, who shrunk under the tremendous
hock ofhisdescont into the bottom of ihe
pew, kicking and screaming 'like a shoi
leer or hurt duck The Minister parsed
m the midst o! his text, and the whole
ongregation arose as though they were a
bout singing U,e doxulogy, and every head
was turned towards the pew in which th
dying Deacon and the fat woman had
mysteriously disappeared. For a niomen1
not a sound was heard
Nat a drum was heard nor a funeral noie!
hut all was appallingly still, so that Elder
Mack began to fear thai it was all over with
boih Beacon Marvel and Mc, Broadeis
But sounds soon broke upon the stillness ol
die people sounds which indicated that
desperate struggle was in progress, attended
wilh no hide wrath, pain"affright and con
fusion. The Deacon had neatly stunned
Mrs. B; by his fall, while in her turn nl
most annihilated htm by the manner in
which she diagged him down with her!
mil crushed his infoitunato leg beneath her
mountainous weight. Rustling and strug
gling, groaning, kicking and something that
sounded awfully like cursing, rose in hor-
jrid dicoids from the invisible pair, and at
last just in time lo prevent a general rush
ol the people to the pew, Die lantern jaws
oflhu Deacon, appeared abova the rai',
iook as reu nnu uery as tnougii ins pniz
actually was a lantern with a dozen lamps
burning within, followed by the broad,
Diowsy indignant lace ol the unhappy vie-
urn oi ins assuit, more red ti possible win
nis, loosing una me urn moon inroogn
evening mis:, two together presenting in
lonjuction a spectacle beyond discription
ludicrous and excraoidinary.
The Deacon limped back to the gallery
imazingly crest fallen, while Mrs. Dioaders
with a vain endeavor lo restore her crushed
bonnet and rum riled ruff to decent and
christian trim, hobbled out of chuuh and
did not again make her appcurai te fur
six mouth.
Five minutes, however, sufficed to reas
ure and compose the sturdy Deacon, su
ihat he seated himself on the cross beam
of the gallery, with his feet dangling over
ihe broad aisle, and began to meditate on
the 'pecial providence,' as lie consider. 'i!
the affray fioin which he had just esca
ped. Alas! for our hero! he would have been
wise man, had he gone hoina like tin
lady upon whom ha alighted so uncerimon
Silence having been lentored lo the con
regatioii, lMiler Alack recommenced hit-
liscourse. Like most of the old Cushioned
preachers, his method of aunalizing and
rranging his sermon, was lo divide jllicm
into eight or ten heads, each head leiii(!
subdivided into three or four mote head,
hus resembling some of the strange mon-.-
teig, with their heads and horns, seen In
Si. John in Ihe Apocalipse. li fact tin
preaciiiug oi one oi lMiicr njacK s (lis
ourses was like the conflict between Her
ules and the Hydra, in which one head ol
the beast was hardly cut olT and disposed
f btffore two others started up in iu
The minister had now proceeded in
umphantly through his 'seventhly!' for up
wind of an hour had his guttural mono
tony fallen like a genile opiate on thesensi
of his hearers, and he w.s just ready to
giapple with his 'eighthly,' when Ins atten
tion was arrested by ihe head of Deacon
Marvel, which had gradually swayed from
perpendicularly, until his thin was now
buried in the bosom of his vest, and hit)
body seemed nodding to the cidunces of the
speakers voice.
I'he truth is, Deacon Marvel was asleep.
Either ha had been kept awake by Ihi
equalling babies, ihe night before or his
recent fall had so stunned his I acuities as
to make him lethatgic.
Al every emphatic word as if ihe Dea
con attending to the discnurse even when
leeping, his head nodded, aid eveiy nod
seemed to bring hi.n nearer the floor. The
parson was dismayed, what should he do?
Once already had (he Deacon flown from
the gallery, and now it appeared he wa
about lo repeat ihe experiment, and she,
with no subjacent fat women lo break his
Suppressing a momentary rising of wrath
and mollified vanity, Elder Mack resorted
lo several ir.nocent artifices to roine and
save the slumbering ssint. He 1 1 f ted up
his voice like a trumpei,-no.l went his head.
He lowered his tones of a gentle murmur
tod, nod. IIo pounded the pulpit wilh iis
Icnched fists, nod, nod, nod. I'he sweat
furled on his brow and t ridded down hi
tose in his excitement, and with his eye
roll ing in a sort of phtenzy, he slammed
down the big bible upon (he desk wilh
i tremendous noise, nod, nod, as before.
The audiencs were surprised and deli hi
dJ with the unwonted energy of their old
parson, ihey imagined he had received from
on high a new and sudden inspiration, little
l incying where he borrowed bis rdor.i
And now, Elder Mack' growing desperate,
began to hurl texts of Script uie at the head'
of the sleeper. 'Il is high lime lo awake s'ver-r,' said one of the crossing gentry
oul of sleep,' ctied he. But in vain, De.vjin LViidoo, to a frequent passer.
con Marvel did not heed it. 'Wolo ihrm
that are at ease in Zion,' he shouted. The
deacon Rodded his assent. 'Awake, O
sleeper and arise!' yelled tho rraddrned
divine'. The only answer was another nod,
am B m0bt threaicning lurch of the Dea
con', whole body. Elder Mack coul
stauiJ it nn longer but ettlled nut si ilio to
of ,,8 voi(.ei .i),jaron Marvel! Deacon Mar
vel! it is hard preaching lo a sleepy con
grpgaiioii!' The Deacon's head flew U
,0 -M pafie , on(!e nj bef()rP he cou)
command his tongue, he thundered back
an..ui,or mc, jt a ,animl ,ht iarier
listening to a sleepy sermon!' The effect ol
this re Vn t was irresistible, and assembly
broke out in a paroxysm of laughter.
'J.m -NuiiaujuB
ueaoive to lorm your lives ution some
certain principles, and lo regulate your ac
lions by tixed rules. Alan was made lo
be governed by reason, and nol by mere
accident or caprice. It is important, there
fore, thai you begin early lo consider and
enquire, what is ihe proper course of hu
mar, conduct, and to form some plan of
your future lives. The want of uch con
deration is manifest in the conduct of in til
littideg, The are governed by the impula.
of t)ie moment, reckless of ihe coii3equpnrt
I'licv have fixed no steady aim, and havi
ulopted no certti i principle of actioc. L v
ng thus at random, it would be a miracle i
ihey went unitornily right. In order to youi
pursuiug aright path, you must know win
is right, and lo acquire this knowledge, yti.
miisl divest yourself of thoughtless giddi
iiess, you must lake time for serious re flee
lion. It will nol answer to adopt, withou
consideration, the opinions of those win
may he about, lor they may have soim
sinister design in regard lo you, or thet
'nay themselves be misled by error or pre
judice. Peisons already involved in die
sipatinu, or entangled in crior, naturally
design lo keen themselves in counlunanci
ny tho number ol followers they can seduct
into the path of vice. As reasonable crea
tires, thcrtlore. indue lor vonrselve,
vi;ii course is right and titling for you tr
pursue. Exorcise your ow'n reason inde
.lendantly and impartially, and give not u
yourself 10 be governed by mere caprice A
fashion, or by the opinions of others.
How few snems to have formed a con
ccpiioii of the orignal dignity of their na
Hire, or Ihe exalted design of their creatioi
Regarding themselves only as creatures o1
iine, endowed merely with passions air
intellectual (acuities, their projects, anne
lid exp eolations are circumscribed to ill!
uariow outline of human life. They forget
hal instability and docay are written as will
i sunbeam, upon all earthly objects thai
his world, with all its pageanay and pomp.
and power, is crumbling into dust tha'
life scarcely deserves a single thourln
excepting as it forms the intrudiietion lo
Hiioiher, and thai he alone acts a prudent oi
i rational part, who frames his plans wilh
direct reference lo that future and endlese
stale of being. Sin has so blinded the un
deislanding, I nd debased the affection thai
men never fail to invest some temporal gooi!
with fancied perfection, and idly imagine
ihat ihe at.aiuinenl of it would satisfy tin
desires and rill ihe capacities ofan i minor spirit! How Utile uo they know oi
themselves' The soul is nol of the earth,
tnd they will su i v o in vain to chain it to
dust Though its native strength has been
unpaired, and its purity tarnished and its
lory changed.' it will nol always be a pri
soner lu re. Send il forth, if you will, to
range through tho whole material universe,
mid 'ike the dove dismissed from the aik;n
will return without finding a single place lo
rest for it has no resting place but in lliei
bosom of God.
Fashionable Freak. A young mulallo
girl who was in the service of a family visit
inxr Can Mav.nn awav in romnsnv with a
y0(ing ,na ;fher own roori who wa9 em
,0-e(. B, ne of )!ie boarding houses.
' !! . a -'
'f-eafe to bestow your ch'rity on poor
'I haten'l got any,' was the gentleman's
rip, .
'Sir, 1 believe- you,' was the rcloit; and
the gentleman was so struck wilh it, thai he
turned back and gave hint sixpence.
The folloivinn crt'iiiiixunce Inppen
il in one of Ihe towns of Arkans.f. A
nan hid been di inking until a lite hour
it nighl before ho sluieJ for home.
Honest folki had loot; been in bed, and
he houses were alt shut and dark. Tin
iquor he had taken was too much lo
inn; he did not know were lo (o. lit
it last slsgnered inio an empty wagoi
hed, and fell upon the ground. Fr a
long lime he lay in all Ihe unconcious
'less of drunken sleep, and would un
loublmlly have lrozn, (for Ihe snow on
the trouml showed Ihe nieht to be very
old,) had nol others less insensible than
himself been around him. This shed
was a favonla rendezvous for the liogx
which ware out when Ihe new come
irrived, but soon relumed lo their bed.
n Ihe utmost kindness, and with ;h
rues! hospitality, Ihev cave their bipec
companion the middle of the bed; sonn
lying, on either tide of him, and other
ictinj the part ol a quill. Their warmth
irovenied him Irom being injured by
his exposure. Towards morning lie a-
Weill P. nulling himtfulf oom fu i IdU le, ll
llissful mgnorance of his whereabouts,
te supposed himself enjoying Ihe ac-
ommodattons of a tavern, in company
wilh the 'ither gentlemen. He reached
nit his hand, and catching hold of the
till bristles of a hog, e xclatmeil; 'Why
nisit r when did you shave last 'P
Multitudes of young men are ruined
by not having decision enough lo say
xo. They meet with companions who
iivue them lo step into an oyster saloon
bowling alley or a bar-room; they ate
pirlecily aware that they would not
ke lo Have their parents sea them go
ik I o these places; they are aware thai
those who enlico litem are yet below
themselves in moral ch inch r bnl they
iave nol lii inn ess enough to say no
When they allow themselves lo be led
istiay once, ihcy will again 3nd iheii
ihev must leiurn the compliment. Thif
& the beginning of that couise whichMt to be passsd by without serious re-
eads to (Winking; lo tavern suppeis; lo
he tl eatre, to the house ol her vvhic.i
is the way to hell; and then the ruin tin
Jder ruin of the young man is airnos'
'Martha, docs thee love rm?' aktc
Shaker youth of one al whose shrint
us hem holiest uuuction Had Dcuti Hi
red up
'Why, Seth,' answered she, 'wo an
ommandeU lo love one another, are w
Ah! Maltha; hut docs thee regard
no with thai Ictling the world calls
'1 hardly know what lo tell thee Seih.
have greatly feared ihat my bead was
in en 1114 one. I hare tiled lo bestow
ny love on all; but 1 may have some
times I bought, perhaps that thee w al
iening rather more than thy share.'
SC I E N Tl F 1 0 A LL Y 0 BSC U II E.
The l,.te Dr. Wilson, senior Felloe
! Tiiniiy College, Dublin, though a Ve
y giave man lumseil, was loud ol quiz
zing and piuz'ing Ihe country folks who
ame to inquiie alter their relatives and
lends ci the college. One day, seeing
man standing in the court, with a let -
er in his hand, gaping and slating a-
bou', and nol knowing where lo go, he
walked up to him gravely, and inquired
svlmt he wanted, Ihe man answered;
'Sir, can you tell me where 1 rna
find lMr. Dehhunt?'
'Yes,' iaiii the Doctor; 'do you see lh
building befoie you?'
'Then ciucify ihis quidrangle, and
take Ihe diameter of Ihe plol beyond ii
enter the opening before you.anu ascem
the ii'iieous graoes; then turn lo oui
left, and you will find him either pen
paiounding in his cubicle, dormitatin
in his lectoi y,or periscopounting througl
his fenestra.'
The poor man, who understood noth
mg of all this, and not remembering om
word but ihe List, said:
'And pray, sir, what is the fenestra?'
To winch the doctor replied;
'Ii is an oiifice in an edifice lo admii
luminous particles.'
'Oh, thank you, said the poor tdlow
and walked oil' more perplexed than be
'To armt.! to aims!'
oi U.o young lady.
as ihe bracelet sail
Most people would be inclined to as-,
sen, unthinkingly, that no dilTeretieo
-xisted between 'having one's own!
way,' and 'doing ai one pleases,' that
in ihe two phrases there is a distinctioi)
wilhouta dtlference yet Paultlingclear
ly proves Ihe contrary, as the lollowing
extract will show, to Ihe entire compre
hension and perfect conviction, wo
doubt nol, of every Benedict ihat shall
read it;
Well, but I suppose you have your
jwn way jr all lliair
'Have my own way! what, d ye lake
me for si ran get? Wasn't I born, no,
riot borr, but raised in Old Kentuck ; and
1'ye think I wouldn't have my way ami
my sat-, if an earthquake stood on one
side of a flash of lightening on the other
tnd crossed their arms right belore m
is much as to say, stand where you are!
Hut a man may have his own way, and
yet somehow or other nol do jusl as ho
pleases, after all.'
I I ,.. ... .-..-'j-
'iVu? well then, I'll eplil the for you
See here now, what 1 call having my
iwn way is doing a thing in vpite of
what other people may say or do to pre
vent me; and what I call doing as I
please, is lo have nobody to come about
me and put on (heir wise airs, and tell
me I'd better not, or 1 shall r-peni, or
I'd wish some day or other I'd took
heir advice; and worry and 1 ret a lei
ei's soul into a knot hole, so that when
he does lake his own way at lasl, ha
wabbles about like a broad-horn in an
eddy, instead of shooting righl (-trait a-
head, like all nature, and alter all, as l
said before, oas no pleasure in having
his own way.'
The following questions destuve an
answer from the classes ol persons allu-
ded lo below. They are of a character
What ake you doino? What aro
you doing, young man, you are Jaesed
-o neal and trim.? Y'our hands appear
never lo have been soiled, and your bo
som is without a speck or a wrinkle.
You never woik, and have lime to de
vote to any amusement. Did you ever
ask yourself what would be ihe conse
quences ofan idle lili? Do you wish us
to tell you? Goto ihe slate-prison or
t Ihe vvork-house, and see fnr yourself.
You will come away a belter man, we'll
e hound to say.
And you, sir, what are you doing?
You are often seen at the door of a grog
ery. Know you not the thoughts of
many who see you7 There is a young
man making a fool of bJmse!f. Ilif
diet k, his eye, his words, his geneial
ippeaiance, indicalo it' Then vyhy
not turn about and become a man re
sprctcd? Just turn over a new leaf to
day, and it will be the saving of you.
I'etsist in your drinking and loafing pro
pensities, and Ihey will lead you down,
down, down to desliuclion. This you
know or at lcat you ought lo know it,
tor yo have examples enough before you
to confirm the fact.
What are you doing, you man, wilh a
cigar in your mou'h and a whip in your
'land? Or. an excursion c f pleasure,
hey You had better lake the money?
you pay fo' hotse hir , and cancel your
shoemaker's or youi ailoi ' bill. Your
extravagant habits v i! i make a pauper
if you, or something worse. Ueform
to day. Throw away your cigar, and
nde no more you at cable.
What are you doing Miss Folly? No
wonder you are considered a walking dry
ood dealer's sign, with sucii an abundance
f fine clothing on vour back, liul who
ikes you the belter for ii? Would it not
ie as well to keep at home, and learn to
ew and knit, to sweep the floor and rinse
ihe clothes, as to dash aboui ihe slides?
4sk your mother, and il she has common
ense, fhe will tell you so, Y'our neigh
bors will, we know. Who d.) von sup
pose will be able to support you, if you con-
inuc to cut such a figure? (Scarcely a man
oi Christendom. He wise then: dress neat
ly,, but not gaudily. Spend less time in
ihe stieeis t ti n v on do in ihe kitchen, und
y ou will never regret it.
To all, we say. go stiaiuht forward in the
pai h of dull turuinu neither to lint right
nor ihe left, and y ..u will be such a person
is high Heaven looks down upon wili u-probation.
1 v