The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, May 11, 1844, Image 1

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I have sworn upon the Altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over the Minl of Man." Thoma Jcflfcwm
I Ji
Vohiimu VIII.
'Vmij! cr 3o
Oitositk St. Pawl's, Main-st
The COL UM1!I.1 DEMOCRAT willbc
published even Saturday mtrning, til
TIVO I) OL LA IIS per annum payable
half yearly in advance, or Two Dollars
Fifty Ccnts,if not paid within the year.
No subscription will betaken for a shorter
period than ar.r monthss'nor any discon
tinuance permitled,until all arrearages
tire discharged.
A Dl'EHTl SEMENS n ot exceeding a
square, will be. eonspieuously inserted at
One Dollarfor the first thrccinserlions,
and Twenty-five cents for every sabse
qucnt nscr'tion. CT"A liberal discount
vutde to those, who advertise by the year
LKTTE IIS addressed on bunncis,mm
be post paid.
Poor Itlmi't JKvciiiu;; iSyttiii.
Ciod cf the poor iiinn ! hear itii,
Thou Giver of nil good !
At this our meal bo near u
Bless, (ilrsa our humble food !
Wo havo been toiling through the dsy,
Sleep hangs upon each brow!
i)ut tliroiiijli the ilirn night hear us pray,
Look down, and bless tie now!
God oftho poor man! licod us,
As thus ni hvrided knee,
For all limn hast decreed us,
W'o praiso and glory Thee !
'J'h-y hands that inndo the wealthy,
Unmake them at thy will,
i Toy made us strong and hojilthy,
Mav wo remain so.still !
.God oftho pjbr roan I listen
To thosewhoEC all is gone,'
To lliofie whose eyelids glisten
, With sonow deep and lone!
Oh! answer, wo beseech Thee, .
'f heir broken, anguishM ptay'r;
I,el theit dark woes first reach Thee,
Then beam on us now here !
God of the poor man ! lowly
Hij heart with love doth boat;
lie hath no gift'moro holy
'l)p deck Thy mercy sent !
Take it, Our Father,! though it ha
' Shaded with earthly nin:
Nought else hath ho to nfler Theo,"
Oh ! make it right within !
God oftho poor man! shining
Amidst his littlo cot,
Though fortune bo declining,
With Thee, how bright his lot!
Guard now tho n'njht bcfuic us.
Let quiet slumber conic;
& (Spread, spread Thy mantle o'er up,
And bless tho poor man's home !
Tlic i:ilu From Homo.
BY Till! r.VE.WKO nAHD.
I had a bright and happy home,
A homo that onco was dear,
( .. A home, but ah! 'tis gone from mo,
There's nought my heart to cheer.
I always there a welcome fount),
From parents good nnil kind,
Dul now an exile I must roam,
Andjcavo my homo behind,
That home that used lo cheer my heart,
hen tose'd by troubl's wava,
Now seems as rold and drear and dark,
As ever icemcd'd the grave.
Dot yot, I have a blessed hope,
Which buoys mo 'bovo my grief,
At last in heaven with nil tho saints,
I'll find a blest relief.
There inuho mansion oftho blest,
My grinf to joy shall turn,
I blmll ohlnin Ohrisi's endless rest,
And alt his fulness learn.
My spirit thall bo frco indeed,
Friendlesi no more I'll ho,
For God, shall the dark chaos fill,
And C'ln'iHi; my friend, I'll see.
An old Pole, between 70 and 80 years of
age, was sent up to luaruwen a isiann,
some timo sinco as a vagrant. He could
scarcely spcik a word of English, and tho'
lie possessed a most soldierly and comman
i i i i
ding appearance, his poverty, as a intltcr of
course, prevented him from attracting un
attention. This man's history terms with
events of the utmost interest he lias aeted
a prominent part in the most ovenifu! period
of the world's histoiy. On the breaking
out of the French Revolution; he travelled
on foot from Poland lo France joined the
Republican army, fought through every
campaign, was with Nijpoleon in all hi?
neat bailies, and received thiileen wounds
it Waterloo. After Napoleon's exile he
returned to his native Poland, where he la.
bored hard for a living until tho breakinu
out of the last insurrection in that country.
which he immediately joined, and through
die whole of which he fought with a valor
ind desperation bordering on frenzy, until
ho fell at liic storming of Warsaw, dnspe
r.ilelv wounded. Every male relative he
ind on earth was killed in that gjoriou-j bin
inuceessful struggle, and he, in common
.villi several others of his unfortunate conn
irymcn, was sent an cxiln to our snores.
I'he old "fileran, finding it impossible to
mhtiisi bv anv other means, enlisted in the
Morula army, anil served nis time out in
that inglorious war. A ftcr his discharge he
returned to this eiiv, where he got robbed
if the few dollars he possessed, when feel
ing very unwell, he madu application at the
lower police office, for '.. permit to die bos
pint lor a few days, when a commitment
was instantly made out, and he was instant
'y sent up here for six months as a vagrant.
When tho old hern arrived and lully reali
zed the degradation to which a whole life of
patriotism had. brought 'him -the heari
which leaped with joy while death was dan
ring anil wKistliucr around it at Alareogo imii
Austerlitz sunk within hint, and ho wepi
profusely as he viewed the many sears he
had received in Freedom's service, at tin
heartless ingratitude of Iter pretended wor
lippcrs. Ills namo h Rciiowouskv, and
bis- time having expired some weeks since,
be is now at liberty; but the hem of main
war", the soldier of many battles, and tbf
survivor of many fields of blood and carnage
can never brook the recollection that In
was Blackwcll'd Itland AT. J'
The Scotch arc very inquisitive people
ifjiossiblo, still nitre so than tho Yankees
their curious questions are frequently
loomed obtriisiv6,and aro carried to a great
length. Two gentlemen fell in together,
both iravellcis on horseback, and strangers
lo each other, when tho following oonversn
linn took place;
Raw evening sir, rather,' observed the
one with an Aberdeen accent.
'Yes, rathor,' replied the other.
'You will likely bo a stranger in thesi
parts, continued the Aberdeenian.
'II I can,' laconically replied the other,
looking neither to tho right hand nor the
'Poihaps, like myself, you may be going
on to the Bank?'
'Poihaps,' responded tho othor, yawning
'In that case, perhaps, you will put up at
'I may, or may not,' answered his com
'Pardon mo tho liberty of the question
sir. May I uel( you if vou are a bache
Oh, married!'
No, no.'
'Sir, I Leg your pardon. I may havi
iininiculionally touched upon a painful sub
ject. Yonr black dress ought la havo check
ed mj inquiiifls. I beg your pardon, irir
a widower!'
'No, no, no.'
'Nejlhcra bachelor, nor married man, nor
widower! Then what can you be!'
A divorced, Bince yon iruiet know,'
exclaimed lite strangnt, clipping his spur to
his horse, and dashing out of sight in an
Kroni Noah'n yVcMy Messenger.
I believe the admission general; th.i'
no Uoy i)Jit"i his ninuicfin year wiili-
tit having expei ienccd. al lea.-.t one Icn-
ilur and elirnul, (ol conrc) pssiiun.
Jb that very few girls get fairly through
ilicir sixteenth yuar ncuhulo! of a n-
mantle love. I ho toiler sentiment i
pecliar to the teens, and is some'liiim
like the mump and me.i.sela it coring
only ono in a lifetime.
Jim as I entering the last half ol
ny nineieeih vear, (it mailers not how
'oog ago that wa) & beginning lo think
it whisUcrs, toniccn and oihcr modern
vidences of manhood, I fell desper,iiel
m Inve. I know at the time that il wn
the maddest thing in iho worUI lo vol-
iintarily yield mysell up to passion
which is very cleverly caricatured by
French cooktf.whon Ihev put a live fowl
before a slow fire and roast il gradually,
for the purpose of swelling the hcirt ;om
'how me a youth who listens lo reason,
if he had any when bin head and hear'
ind n'her 'fixins' arc in a broil of ten
derness, devotion anil romincr, and I
confess that I was a greater fool than
the majority of my fcx and age.
The 'course of my love' ran smoothly
enough for a while; hut thin did not de
ceive me I knew I should get to the
r.ipiiU and whirlpools t'O soon for my
own comfort. 1 toj like the drunken
Indian in the canm above the fills of Ni
igar.i, I just IhoU draughts ofd-jliciotu
nectar, and allowed the litllc shallop o
my fate lo lake its own w.iy and make
iho best birgiio il could with the trea;h
crous waves. My resignation however
ltd not make my Hollering the lighter
tho crisis came I stood on thee(lj ol
the precipice I looked piieoitsly arnun
fir help I .shrieked" in tho mot in tin
rrtj find romantic .tones; but il iVotild i,o
do, over I wool, into the inidtlciiioi
flood. I ";'t lor and instant lhal it wa..
all up with me ind then there was
nUn I;.
When I awolco. again I found myseU
in bed veiy weak ajid veiy wretched
The dodor told me that I had heei
Jireatencd with iufiimmation of lb
brain, but a rheumatic fever hai
tupped in instfcad. What a coJi! lull
to I who wjs dying of a brok,
"n hrart lo he labelled 'i'humutit' 1
I luted the man from tho moment and
vwwe to I)l revenged, and I have kep
my oath his bill is unreceipted yet.
my young reauers arm tain now
writing especially lo them, will know
what the foregoing means without furlh
er explanation ;hut lest some snro crabb
ed old maid, or finy old b.ichelor.uhoiih
iccuso me of pulling nonsense in lype,l
will just add in plain terms that after i
most lender season of Iovp, which com
menced in the wjim months and lusted
ijl! iho cold, I was very pnlitelj' inform-
-d, by a very polilc moiher that I waf
'wfld rjl;c, an unprincipled liher'inc,
and thfll she looked upon my attention
o her daughter with dip!eaMire. Here
was a damper. I a rake! who haii
never daicd lo read certain chapter, ii
ihe old testament, for fear of knowing
more- than a modest young man should! I
i libertine, who had never looked in a
lady's face without blushing! The chargi
istonished me; Iho virtuous surface with
less reason was not rnoic indignant ;but
tstonishmcnt and indignation did m
good; both ended, as before, with tlx
A non I recovered, a mot devoted
I'riond of 'llic pirties'handed men pi ell
hrcc cornereii nolc.the seal of which,
white wax, of course represented two
hearts, very barbarously run through
with skewer, It (the nolo not tin
kewer)was from 'my own one, 'and wj
full of tender terms 'broken hearis,'
'crushing affections.' 'hlighied hopes '
'poignant regrets.' 'undying love,' &c,
&c, &c. ; every body knows how these
ii'oiig expressions are sprinkled in. Ihe
P. . put new lifu into me. It ran
Love laugli9 al lorksmiihs. Come lo
my window that looKs into the utile
garden at 10 to-night. In seating the
wall look out for tho broken gl.w that t
embedded on the lop; and don't foiget
to put a beef slc.ik in your pockets lo
pa:ify the dog, if he should attack you.
Ho is very ferocious and ma Ind hi.
teeth filed yesterday.'
1 was in raptures. What did I can
for tho wall! I would eat through i
lla?s and all and as for the dog, will
his filed teeth why, my accounts at th
IhUcher's should answer for the faithful,
ness with which that job had been per
formed! Ten o'clock eaniCjinrl I was off it tin
'Ciulc.votN. The wall I got overatlln
expense of a r;nt in my coat and i.
dighl scratch on my p"ison; I cared fo
neither. Hol'ling lliteu or lour hogi
ilices of beef I threaded the natnm
tv.ilkw and r lined the desig'taitd s,.c
lt-neaili tlic window, 1 ho niaht wis-
very dark; but two bright eyes shioiui;
rum the CAsemeni, told mo all irnt
viN anxious to learn. How I go! lo III
vindow and entered il is of so paiticu
Iir importance I did gel up and fouml
Mierself in mine I forgot which it was
ill llm same lliough.
My own love' (a pretty appellator
n't it,) was in raptures, and so was I
'he wept anil I sung to her
0 why is the girl of my soul in tears.'
Mo I quote correct!;. ?) unlil she wiped
her eyes and beg'ii lo talk. 1 hen
knew she had regained her cmpostirt-,
for I havo always observed that a worn m
never lalks when she is excited II is i
yell or a suifile,aud either is not plr.js
We laid great plans thai night. Elope.
went, lusty marriage, prayer for Jli'
pardon every thing ficd upon
In the small hours of tho morning 1
prepared to leave. 1 approached tin
window and looked was unusually
lark. I here is an especial proverb
against jumping in tho dark, but I did
not think of il just al the niomutit , tnoi c'r
tho pity.
The farewell kiss was burning on my
Hp, Vn. solt adieu ringing in my ears,
is I took the jump. Powers of mud!
found myself immersed lo iho li,.s in
nonsliead ol warm meal Musii a com
pound which; however good for f.iticn
' nil hoc!. Is not exactly calcnlaJpfl
for a hot bath. How it got there
ir how 1 got into it I did nol.tsccr
tain, for Iho linking of the dog cull
id in y attention to a new danger. Th1
icef I held in my hand as I leapee
fiom Iho window, and I now contriver
to draw it out of the meal, with the Impi
of silencing the (leg, hero I attempt")
lo exlnc.iie mysll Irom Ihe iinpleaini
jtit.ition in which I ww minced. Kni
logs tho' they like beef well enough,
ire not particularly fond of Indian rnea'
hot as I soon found lo my cost. Thi
enemy came on with a fieico yell, as 1
held out the beef,a sudden flood of ligln,
exposed lo me, and two or three gi inn
ing servants and a host cf 'famih
friend-!,' the ridiculous scene in which I
was figuring. I attempted lo iio am'
-xplain, as Mr. Wise did a few day
ago in Congress but Ihe dog decideil
that I was nut of order, and compelled
me to 'duck my head quite under to
ivoid his tpriiig. arose hot lo hear per.1
ol laughter ami undgo in tno i.imc w
gain from the vile animal who continu
ed lo lean over me witn ine aginiy ot n
eat and iliu ferocity ol a lig"r. I ihotii
my limo come, and w.i,r about I
resign myself to my lato with ns mucl
dignity as it was possible for me to ex
hibit in a hogshead, when my presecu
tor, relented and called tho dog off. 1
was then taken out, scraped down, and
illownd lo depart, but Ihe story of my
mishap became known and I wasgreei
i .-(I with laughs of deiision al every
Against this however, I bore up brave
ly, t.ll I was informed thai fair one for
whom I had encountered, all these per
ils, had played me false by marrying a
ousin then l sworo solemnly nevci
again to dabble in love or meal slink
mil thus ended my finl and lust lovt
It would often bo better not to attempt ti
reward a bravo action ihan to reward it nil
A soldier had his two hands carried off at
the wrists by a short. His colonel offered
him a crown. 'It was not my gloves, bin
tnv hands, that I 'osl, Colonel,' sid the
poor aoldier, reproachfully.
PadJy, when told a stove would gave
Just half his usual fuel,
Replied, 'Arrah, ihen, two I'll havo,
And tavo it oil my jewel.
I rom HooJ's Comic, Mniainn.
Kllen, you hive been or.!.'
Well, I know I have.'
' To the Kmg's Head.'
No, John, no. Mot no miiinr
You'll be troubled 1 1 CI f n f) I f With in i
' Wh it do you mean?'
' I mem wlut I ,.y. John .' renlinil
ihe wife, looking very solemnly and do-
nooiareiy, Willi a . strong emphasis on
-.very word. Vou will be troub
led no more with mv I ,.;!,...
'Iknewii!' exclnmed tho vi retched
insband, rlesjierainly tossing his arm
loll, as when all islosi; I knew ii"
nd leaving one coat flip in Hie hands ol
us wile, who vainly attempted i0 de
liin I.;... I. ...(..! e
in-. i, iiuiiisnew noin ine room
ipring down the stairs, boil, fli-hts b
wo or throe steps at a lime ran a I out
me pass-ge and without his hat, o.
?loves or stick, dashed out at the str-ie
door, sweeping from the step two ran
l" liille girl, a quartern loaf, a basin
it irear. n, and a luby. IJn he ney i
toppeil in ask if the children were hurt
r even lo see whether the infant drip
)fil with gore or molasses. Oo he ran,
iik: a rati i (I dm, sii.iinln f,,ri.-.r,l ,i,.,.,
he Lorough, heedlcit alike of a porter'.
load, baker ba".ket, anil butcher's Iray.
' I say,' mnttereij Ihe errand boy, as
he staggered lrom the collision.
' Do that again,' growled the placard
man, ss he recovered the pole and board
which had been knocked from his shoul
iM mil where you're goin',' biwlcd
i harvkor, at he picked up his scatlcied
wares, whilst a dandy suddenly thrust
n'o a Kennel, launched offer Ihe runner
me of those verbal missiles which are
aid to telurn, like the boomerang, to
muse who launcn llicm.
t Rut on, on, scampered the Teetotal
er, heedless of all impediments on he
'coiired, Jikc an antfcldpp, ' tr ihe sh.op.
umber iilO, with ihe red, blue, anil
green hollies in ihe-window the chrm
island druggist': into which hedait
u.!. and up to the littlo bald man at Ihe
lesk, with barely breath enough left to
;asp out My wife, poison and pump.'
Vegetable or mineral?' inquired tin
Surgeon-Apothecary, with great profes
sional cooloess.
' Holli all sorls laudanum ir?cnic
oxalic acid corr-j-dvo .'uhlimate'
nd Ihe Teetotaller was about to add
pii o-applc rum, amongst Iho poisons,
when ihe Dnc'nr sioppeil him.
' Is she 3ick?'
Hut remembering the -symptoms ovei
nigh', iho Teeioller venluied to say, ov
the strength of his dream, lhal she was
urning all manner ot colors, like a rain
bow, and swelling as big as a house.
' I hen Iheie is not a moment to lose,
ai! the E'rulipius, and accordineU
dapping on his hai, and arming himsell
villi ihe necessary appara'us a sort of
eledhanhno syringe w:ih a very long
triinu tie ffct oil at a trot, guided by the
I pr lot tiler, lo iinpnison theiash and ill.
fated l.a"hanalian, Mrs. Burrngp.
Now, when the Teetotaller, with tin
medical man at his heels, at rived at hir-
own house, .Mrs. Uurrago was still in
her bed-room, whirh was n great con
venience, fur before she could accouni
for Iho intrusion of a stranger, na , even
wniiiiiii Knowing now it was done, slu
found herself seated mnre zealotisl
ban tenderly or ceremnniousl vin tin
asy chair; and when she attempted le
expnstulaie.Hhe fell herself choking will,
t tube of somelhihg which was eertainh
neither maccaroni, nor mick liquorice,
nor yet pipe peppermint.
To account for this precipitancy, tht
exaggerated represenlhtions of her hu
band must bo borne in mind, and if In
wife did not exhibit all ihe dolphin-lik
eolois that he had described if shr w
not quite so blue, green, yellow or hlack
as he had painted her, tho apothecaix
ma le sine she would be,and rxinscqiioni
ly went lo woik without dol.iy ,
where delays weie so dangerous.
Mrs, IJurrage, however, was not i
woman lo submit quieih, to a disagree
ible operalion agiinsl her own consent,
o with a vigorous kick and a pus-h a
the same time, 6ho connived to lid her
self of tho doctor and his instrument,
and indignantly demanded lo know tin
meaning of ihe assault upon her.
1 It's to save your life your prcriout
life, Ellen,' said iheTcluUller, Ioqk,,""
it Iipt very solemnly.
It'i to empty the stomach,,'
aid the doctor.
'. Empty a fitldtn, retorted Mr. liur-
r.ige, who would have added ' stick. "bi.t
the doctor walchiog his opporttiuiiy.lsil
ipxicnousiy popped tlic lube again nto
her open month not without a fnxh
cufll5 from the patient.
' For the Lord's sake, Ellen,' eoniin
ued the Teetotaller, roi fining her lunds,
'do, do, piny rlo sir qinet.'
' P'b wob woliule," saiil EHen,
' Hub bub hub buble,' allemptini;
io speak with another pipe in hei throat
besides the windpipe,
Have i he goodness urri,im, to bo
composed.' implored the doctor.
1 won'i,' shouted Mrs. IJutrag''. hav
ing again released herself from the ir
'iiumeni by a desperate struggle. What
nn I lo he pumped out fot?'
' Oh, Ellen, you know what j ou havo.
aken,' said the Tetolaller.
Corosive salts and narcotica, an3Wcr
d tho doctor. '
' Ars.nic ami corrosive sublimity,'
nid the Tetolaller.
' Oxilic acid and linctute of ppiii'n,1
icicle il the docior.
' Fly water and laurel water,' si d
Mr. Ij.irrjge.
'Vitriol, prmsic acid, and anuatorii-",'
continued the druggist.
' I ve took no such thing,' said ihe n
fractory patient. ' "
'Oh ! Ellen, you know what you
1 Well, ulial?'
' Why, that your drinking should
never trouble mo more.'
' And no more il shall,' screamed ll q
wilful woman, falling as she spoke, le'o
the wildest paroxisms of laughter.
No more il shall, for I've look'
' W hat, tna'-am, pr-iy what ?'
1 In the name ol Hoven ! vhai?'
Whylhcn I've look ihcFLKDGE!'
Prescript inn ExSruordhmry. D r.
D.iille, alter listening wiih loiuir.; to ih.
pressing account of 'sympioms' from a
'..dy, who ailed so Iitxe ili.-ii she was go
ing to the Opera ihut eirninic, hniim!-
pscaped from the room, when ho was
urgently requeued to siep up stairs f
gam; n was io a.K mm whether on !.
reluin from the Opera, she miglii nor.
-at some oysters ? Yes ma'am,' said
Bailir, ' sltQlh and alt.
A major of tniliti.i, in Pennsylvania, wl a
had recotu'y been elected, and who was n t
iverbiirihened with brains, look it into bis
bead on the morning of parade, to go O' t
and exercise a little by h'mielf. The 'tin .'
selected for this purpose was bis own i ...p
Placing himself in a military nirtndfj wn
lii' srord drawn, he exclaimed 'Aitenu.
the whole ! Rear rank, ilirei p v.k.
inarch!' and he tumbled down the rJUr.
His wife hearing the noise oerasionei! 1,1
falling, came running out and aked
'My dear, hive you killed yourvn!f V
'Oo into the house woman;' said . iho
uvijorj 'what do you know abom war?'
fn men there is a lump upon the wind,
pipe, formed by ihe thyroid cariilaue. wbuh
ts not lo bo seen in women; an Arabian
fable says, that this is a pari of ihe nrigiotd
uppie, that has stuck in ilia man's ihroai by
die way, but that the woman swallowed her
part of it down.
Irreparable f.oss. A daily gires thi
following ilem, which we hope will op-Tat.-
as a caution to others lo avoid a.
;ainst similar losses.-.
' Lost the other day, somewhere b--1
ween sum ise rmd , sunset, iwo gold, n
nou is, each set with sixty diamond min
utes. No reward is offered, fur llu-y
no gone forever,"
The Omi.5 They think of Hymen
ind can't help sighing. When "ilmr
'ovurs forsake them, ihey'i In In
crying. I hey sit at the window, ami
can't help spying. To gt car!) a heau,
they can't help glymg. ,. !)c mj,rrr
ihey can't help h iMin'g, and lurnii g,
ind lacir.g, .'ind h iug. Tiny 'sriiw up
tiitir coiseis
hi nig,
id 'hey ej;.': Ik Ip dyiug,