1 have sworn upon tho Altar of Coil, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over tlic Blind of Man.' Thomas Jefferson.
MINTED AND PUBLISHED BY II. WEBB.
JiSIiOOMSBURa, COLUMBIA COSTPJT PA. SATSJS&BAlf, DBCjuiMBBB 26, 1840.
Kumticv 35.
OFFICE OF THE DEMOCRAT, !
OrrosiTB Br. Paul's Ouuncii, Main-st.
The COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT will be
published every Saturday morning, at
TfVO DOLLARS per annum, payable
half yearly in advance, or Two Dollars
Virtu Cents, if not. paid within the year.
k0 subscription toill be taken for a shorter
period than six months; nor any discon
tinuance permitted, until all arrearages
are discharged.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding a
square ivill be conspicuously inserted at
tL nnllnr fofthc first three insertions,
and Twenty-five cents for every subse
quent nsertion. Vljt nucnu uiscu
made to those who advertise by the year.
LETTERS addressed on business, must
be post paid:
POETRY.
Election ESlayaaaes.
(Purloined. from the Boston Morning
Post.)
Election times nra dver now,
And sober times aro coming
No more our ringing oars will crack
With that infernal drumming;
No moro tho fife, inciting fears
Of murd'rotis midnight slaughters,
Will shriek upon tho startled rest
Of anxious wivos and daughteraj
God bless 'era 1 ihcy can onugglo now
Beneath tho sheet and blanket,
Or, if the baby need a spank,
Why, venturo out and spank it!
No more the bunting, cpread by wags
Who know not what remorse isj
Will fly, to tickle idle boys,
And frighten skittish horses)
No more the victors' lungs will swell
Like forty thousand Stentors;
No moro the stout election lies
Return to plague the inventors.
As ever aftor thunder squalls
The atmosphere is purer;
Ao over after lover's spats
Their passion is the surer;
An shins of " gentleman iu black, ''
Feel better after aching,
So may wo all tho belter bo
For this tremendous shaking.
Then, viclimr, pony up your bets,
Remember Luck's n lover,
And boys, como get you hats, and bo
Right glad election's oven ,
EUSSS3E2aIL.B&IS WSo
From tlio Brother Jonathan!
. K.
A TRUE TALE OF THE LATE ELEC
TION
"Sea non o vcro, a bon trovnto'
Kate had boen ju.st a month married.
Now a wifo of a month is not yet above
certain follies which always dim the dawn
of married life; as tho clouds of morning
Bccra unwilling to let the sun shine out res
pleudont, and show too gr,cat a contrast to
tho shades which are just scattering,
Among those follies of a new-married wo
man, tho most prominent is n feeling, not
'exactly of jealousy, but a desire for a mo
nopoly of tho good man to whom sho has
lust sworn forever to devote lierself. She
is unwilling that his attention should bo ta
ken off even for a day: and halfeuvios tho
segar which burns between his lips. Very
childish follies, these, and soon over but
Kale hud onlv been- married a month, tint!
who could .wonder that oho- moped and pou
ir,A ...l.'.l . I l.....t I ........ I.Al.ilKf
&l the but then of the song:
"ror Tjppocanoo and Tyler too!"
'But,' said sho, 'I'll fix him when ho docs
V comel'
The door-bell rang. Kalo had recovered
W philosophy, aiidMiflr c'he'ciffulneis. and
if sho had mis wired lhoJirt jm'pulse, would
uato gone lo tllo outer door to have admit
ted him herself. If sho had. there is no
measuring the 'long, long kis3,' that would
have probably lasted over all tho steps of
the flight of stairs, oxolusivo of tho recess,
at tho broad stop wore tho flight turns.
Gut Kalo heard the slip-shod maid of all
work going to the Hall door, closed her
own door put away tho book she had
been reading turned her back upon tho
ontranco rostcd her cldows on her kneest
smothered her faco in her handkerchief,
a'nd imitated a sob ns vpll as she could.
An interesting posture but then Kato had
caught her husband ndmiring her shoulders;
and who can wonder that she turned them
up?
I think you ought to bo ashamed!'
snuffled Kate.
Tho servant girl pulled her elbow.
' Get away you hateful!'
Why, mawm, it isn't Mr. Brewster!'
Kste looked up, A tall,roguish looking,
but certainly a very hand?omc young man
stood attentively regarding her. In his
faco were apparent a variety of emotions,
in which wonder led, mischief sparkled,
but embarrassment had no place awkward
as K.110 thought any strange man might
havo felt in I lis situation. Now sho could
have cried without any exertion, but she
did not. She bowed in a manner confused
but prettier for its confusion, to tho stran
ger, and turned io tho servant enquiringly,
(That official W3S hanging on the door knob
with her mouth open, but still no word
came from it.) "
uelty now many times iiave l torn you
not to surprise me in this way without an
nouiicing a guest?'
Please ma am the gontleman safil his
namo was no matter ina am, said Bcttv,
' and he would come up.'
Batty you may go!' said the stranger.
Kato stood irresolute.
Go !' repeated the strange gentleman."
Kate was too much astonished to say any
thing. Betty closed tho door, and peeped
through the ftey-holc. Sho caw the stran
ger tike her mistress by both hands she
saw Mrs. Brewster shrink back a moment
and then, as Betty afterwards said, 'she
guv a loek, and then she guv a scream,
unci then she guv him hug, and then I
run, for I wouldn't have waited another
minuio for the world. What is it coming
to!'
With nil propor reverence for Belty sho
lied. She did not run for any such pruden
tial motive. It was only because an awful
ring at tho street door started her, an
down sho tan lo welcome more horrid mys
tery) It was on'.y a circular to all true dc
mocratic, republican, whig electors, direc
ted to Mr. Brewster. When I3olty wmit
up agrin to her post at the key-hole, her
inislres and tho stranger were sitting oppo
site each other. How Betty did wish that
her eyes tiould hear as well as see!
Tho Blranuor went early away. Poor
Bety went io bed that nignt in a 'doubt
ful state.' New York was one of the
doubtful at that timtj so Betty could have
gone lo sleep in no other, without crossing
to Jersey t
The liquor compounding instrument rat
tied in tho glasses. Jmokc had ceased to
ascend in graceful clouds from tho mouths
of tobacco devotees; for upon its ejectment
from their lips, it had much ado to find
place in the dense atmosphere, without
playing fancy touches. Drums' beat in the
street, and shouts of 0 ! It ! made nihl
hldcons. Brewster walked through the
bar-room olid up into the Hall. A pleasau
looking old gentleman, with white hair, and
plenty of it, was leading lu a Tippecanoe
song, and Brewsler joined the full thousand
who swelled the chorus for
Tho iron armed boldicr tho true-hearted soldier;
TJio iron urmed soldier of Tippecanoe.
Then camo a speech. Then another
song. Then Brewster made a speech, and
noticed among tho bystanders that there
was one in particular who seemed to hang
on every word he said. He cheered vocif
erouslystamped .uproariously, qnft bca
Uiis hands till they blistered. When MrjU
came down from tho rostrum, tho attentive
auditor pressed up to him and offered con
gratulations on tho felicity of his oration.
Btowstcrliad not been a politician long, and
ho blushed.
' But,' said tho other 'aro you not a lit
tle too enthusiastic!' .
' Not a, shadow.'
' How mnrh majority do you give the
Whigs in this Slate?'
4 The Empire is good for fifteen thous
ands
'Duubtod.1
I'll bot
' How much?'
As much as you choose. I'll cover dol
lar with dollar.'
A crowd had by this lime suspended lis
tening to the orator, to hear this match.
' Bet him Browster,' cried a friend 'hi.'
a Loco in disguise. Bot hnn. Tho stran
ger only smiled that no one appoared to
have any sympathy with him. Ho offered
a bet of five thousand dollars. Browster
started.
Oh 1'said ihc other, 'if you don't chooso
to tiko me, lot it go. I thought you were
ready hut if you'rd all talk and no cider,
you can't be a Harrison man.'.
Whossid I hesitated ?' said Brewsler,
In five minutes moro tho gentleman hadgiv
enjiis name as Mr. Smith the preliminaries
wore arranged, tho stranger had put his
stake in specie paying notes the bystand
ers had guaranteed Brewster's check, and
the man with ready money had bowod and
made his oxit,
1 lie's a custom htiuso officer,' said one
' He's an agent ol the eovernment,' said
another.
' lie's too d d quick on the trigger fo
me,' said Mr. Brewster as he walked home
That's five thousand gone all's gone for
it makes moro of a hole than I can well
patch up and to'say nothing of tueloss of
credit by betting.
Belty looked O. K. at him orful kurious,
to know what ho would say, if ho did but
know all that sho did but he was too busy
thinking of something else to noliee her.
Browsler paid moro attention to his news
paper than his coffee on ihe following morn
ing. It was the morning of Thursday the
Gih. The papers aforesaid did not offer
much encouragement. Kate asked him for
money. lie told her tho western counties
would bring it in and Kate laughed. Ho
looked up astonished at a sound little in uni
son with his own feelings and Kato looked
as if she would have laughed more heartily
than before.
Scarce was ho out of doors when Belly
had the aslonishmont of admitting again tho
unknowfl' gallant of Mrs. Brewster. She
could hardly bo civil to him; for sho did
think that such audacity passed her com
prehension. Her mistress and tho caller
wero so rejoiced to see each other too and
laughed so heartily when the name of poor
Mr. Brewster was mentioned. Bet robbed
the beef alamodo of half tho claret to con
sole herself under afliiction. The parlor
bell rang, and when Betty answered the
summons the stranger was gono.
' Please, ma'am,' said sho. when sho had
received her mistress's commands ' what
is the gentleman's name who was here to
day ?'
' It is nono of your business.'
Bot plunged to tbo kitchen, to the deepest
depth of that culinary purgatory and drank
the rest of the claret. Such goings on, sho
declared, wero unbearable.
Friday; the Cth rose yet more glovmy up
on poor Brewstor. Ho was down from his
chamber betimes- He had read, before his
wifo had risen, Ihe most cheering accounts
which the Whig papers could offer; Si found
not even in tho wildest prophesy tho shad
ow of a hope for tho safety of his five thous
and dollars. It was, ho felt eitisfied, all up
with him.
' Good morning sir,' said Betty, as she
placed the coffee pot on tho table. Brews
ter answered her by opening his eyes.
' I'm going to leayo you, sir,' continued
Betty. - -
' Mr. BreWBter's heart and thoughts were
in the Western Counties.' Ho paid the
stammering maid no attontion.
' Such doings, and such goings on, sir,'
said Betty, with a swing of her body, as
she bit her nails, ' a decent person can't slay
in the house, sir. But I don I suppose, sir,
that a poor servant has any business to care
what pranks her mistress cuts up sir.'
Not a bit,' said Browster, now for the
first time lis . listening.
1 Well, thoic it's nothing to me so
there and if you don't care, I'm sure I
don't know who does, I'm suio.'
' Why, what do you mean you fooi !'
Fool, heh hch fool heh hch well,
my mother was an honest woman, at any
rate, and that is more than your children
will say, I guess.'
Brcvsicr took hsr by tho shoulder and
shook her story out of her, and a groat deal
more. Kate entered tho room at that in
slant, ' in shining morning face,' and Belly
shrunk down stairs swearing, and snivelling
in a breath.
Pretty well, too Charles,' said Kato,
turning away her head to hide a laugh.
Pretty well, too, I think. When you in
6ult a poor dependent uirl, vou had bottor
havo respoct enough far yourself to select
one who keeps her face clean.'
Betty, probably never had the soot .is
sed off hers,' said Browster bitterly.
Tis a pity I did'ut wait for you to finish
your tete-a-tete then,' said Kato, in tho same
tone.
' Madam !'
' Sir !'
' Tho strange gentleman, ma'am' said
Belty, opening tho door, a malicous devil
in both her eyes ' tho strange gentleman
ma'am without any namo, ma'am' wink
ing impudently to her master.
In stalked the unknown fiiend of the fam
ily..--"My brollicr, Mr. Browstor,' eai
Kate, presenting him.
' Mr. Smith 1' exclaimed Browsfcr.
' No more Mr. Smith,' said the other tak
ing hia hand .
" And I will nova-play Mr. Smith any more."
' I am very happy to know you, sir,'
said Browster, and stand ready to give up
to you the bet I made with Mr. Smith.'
' And I told Kato sho should have all my
winnings and so pass it to her.'
And I own no interest separate from
Charles's and so of courso it is his.'
' But I shall not consent to any such baby-like
arrangement. A loss is a loss.'
It was a conspiracy my dear sir and is
entirely Kate's money. I went from this
house by her directions to make the bet or
a bet, with you before you should know mo
I bet I won I am a mero agent this
is a clear ease of conspiracy, and if you will
complete it by becoming a conspirator
against your own bankruptcy, all parties will
bo content.'
And thua resulted Brewster's first feet. If
it should provo bis last, as he promises it
shall, (hen, indoed, will all be O. K. The
brother, for many long years absent, was too
late to register Jiis namo among the legal
voters; but not too hue to save his sister
from ruin, by arresting the first folly of her
husband.
Vtry Satisfactory. 1 Now uncle, hang
a big pumpkin to tho ceiling, and daub it
ovor with molasses and when you see tho
flies gathered around it imagine that it is
the world, and the flics its inhabitants.'
That's the way it works; is it?' 4Woll
Tom is it a fact that tho Chinese walk with
iheir feet foment our feet, and their heads
down?'
Yes sir.'
And is it a fact that tho devil's
works is right under the oartb?'
' Yes sir.'
Well I wonder if fhoso Chinese
bothered a good deal with tho smoke?'
fire
mm
A New Punishment. Any man so baso
as to strike a woman, should bo placed on
tho back of a hard trotting horse nnd made
to coJlect no wspaper accounts forthobalanco
of his life.
A QUACK DOCTOR
4 Well, Miko, I'll speak to somo of my
friends here about you, and we'll soldo it
all properly. Here's tho Doctor.'
4 Arrah, Mister Charles, don't mind him ;
he's a poor crayturo onlirely; devil a thing
ho knows.
' Why what do yod mean, man? ho a
physician to the forces.'
' Oh, by gorry, and so ho rriay be, said
Miko, with a toss of his head; those army
doclhcra isn't worth their salt. It's truth
I'm tellin you: sure, didn't he como to sec
mo when I was sick below in the hold?
How do you feel?' sayB he.
4 Terrible dhry in the mouth,' says .
But your bonas,' says he, 'how's therni'
As if cripples was kicking me,' says I.
Well, with that ho went away, &broughi
back two powders.
Tako them,' says lid, and ye'll be cured
iu no time;'
' What's liiem ?' says I.
They're ametics,' says he.
Blood and ages,' says I, 'arc thcyt
' Devil a lio,' says he, take them imrri'tis
dialely.'
' And I tuk them and would you boliovb
me, ftlistet Uuarlest it a trutn i m leinng
you devil a ono of them would stay irt
my stomach. So you see what a docthor
he is !'
Very Affecting. L sentimental youlU
having 6eon a ydung damsel shedding tears
over something in her lap, took tho first op
portunity to be introduced to her; and madd
no doubt that alio was a congenial spirit.
What work was it that affected yon sd
much, the other merning 1 I saw you shod
tears. Was it Bulwer's last t'
I don't know what Bulwer's last is,' re
turned she, but I can ossuro you, sir, I was
doing a job which always almost kills mo;
1 was pooliug onions;
KEEP IT BEFORE THE PEOPLE;
That it is absolutely necessary that peo
ple should pay their subscriptions to enable
printers to live like other folks. This in
formation may bo astonishing to somo of
our patrons, yet wo assuro them that it is
literally true, for wo havo proved it by ac
tual experience. Exchange paper.
Unnecessary Advice. A country gen
tleman, who fills every situation necsssary
lo constilulo him 'the head of tho village,'
and who has taken somo pains to instruct
tho rustic inhabitants in the proper ligns of
respect duo to him, being lately on a horsd
somowhat givon to shy.and observing a lad
walking before him, called out; 'Boy, don't
tako off your hat.' Tho youth turning his
head very innocently answered, 'I won't a
goin' to; sir.
The Loves of Royality. It is a little
singular that the Kinb" of Holland and tho
Queen Regent of Spain, havo brth abdica
ted their thrones on account of marrying be
neath their rank. They have, however
shown good sense in tho movement, cs they
both retire from tho cares of royalty with
large fortunes. According to tho Paris Na
tional tho King of Holland - has about 33
millions of dollars in the funds. Ho has
been king 25 years, so that ho has saved
more than a million of dollars a year. The
same paper says it is not known what a
mouut Queen Christina has saved, but is
reported lo be large.
Nothing,' squire, never stop n womnri
when her ciiriosily is once up, especially if
sho bo curious to know something' about
herself. Only hold a secret in your hand to
her, Hnd it's like a bunch of catnip to a cat;
sho'll jump, and frisk; and frolic round liko
anything, and nover give over purrin and
coaxin of you till sho gets it, Slick.
Tho Nantuckot Inquirer gives the last
case of absont raindness. A lodger in a hotel
after washing himself in ihe morning.wiped
his face with tho newspaper, and sat down
lo peruso the napkin: he did not discover
hia' error lilljhe attempted to tear off thd
corner lolight his cigan