1 have sworn upon tho Altar of Coil, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over tlic Blind of Man.' Thomas Jefferson. MINTED AND PUBLISHED BY II. WEBB. JiSIiOOMSBURa, COLUMBIA COSTPJT PA. SATSJS&BAlf, DBCjuiMBBB 26, 1840. Kumticv 35. OFFICE OF THE DEMOCRAT, ! OrrosiTB Br. Paul's Ouuncii, Main-st. The COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT will be published every Saturday morning, at TfVO DOLLARS per annum, payable half yearly in advance, or Two Dollars Virtu Cents, if not. paid within the year. k0 subscription toill be taken for a shorter period than six months; nor any discon tinuance permitted, until all arrearages are discharged. ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding a square ivill be conspicuously inserted at tL nnllnr fofthc first three insertions, and Twenty-five cents for every subse quent nsertion. Vljt nucnu uiscu made to those who advertise by the year. LETTERS addressed on business, must be post paid: POETRY. Election ESlayaaaes. (Purloined. from the Boston Morning Post.) Election times nra dver now, And sober times aro coming No more our ringing oars will crack With that infernal drumming; No moro tho fife, inciting fears Of murd'rotis midnight slaughters, Will shriek upon tho startled rest Of anxious wivos and daughteraj God bless 'era 1 ihcy can onugglo now Beneath tho sheet and blanket, Or, if the baby need a spank, Why, venturo out and spank it! No more the bunting, cpread by wags Who know not what remorse isj Will fly, to tickle idle boys, And frighten skittish horses) No more the victors' lungs will swell Like forty thousand Stentors; No moro the stout election lies Return to plague the inventors. As ever aftor thunder squalls The atmosphere is purer; Ao over after lover's spats Their passion is the surer; An shins of " gentleman iu black, '' Feel better after aching, So may wo all tho belter bo For this tremendous shaking. Then, viclimr, pony up your bets, Remember Luck's n lover, And boys, como get you hats, and bo Right glad election's oven , EUSSS3E2aIL.B&IS WSo From tlio Brother Jonathan! . K. A TRUE TALE OF THE LATE ELEC TION "Sea non o vcro, a bon trovnto' Kate had boen ju.st a month married. Now a wifo of a month is not yet above certain follies which always dim the dawn of married life; as tho clouds of morning Bccra unwilling to let the sun shine out res pleudont, and show too gr,cat a contrast to tho shades which are just scattering, Among those follies of a new-married wo man, tho most prominent is n feeling, not 'exactly of jealousy, but a desire for a mo nopoly of tho good man to whom sho has lust sworn forever to devote lierself. She is unwilling that his attention should bo ta ken off even for a day: and halfeuvios tho segar which burns between his lips. Very childish follies, these, and soon over but Kale hud onlv been- married a month, tint! who could .wonder that oho- moped and pou ir,A ...l.'.l . I l.....t I ........ I.Al.ilKf &l the but then of the song: "ror Tjppocanoo and Tyler too!" 'But,' said sho, 'I'll fix him when ho docs V comel' The door-bell rang. Kalo had recovered W philosophy, aiidMiflr c'he'ciffulneis. and if sho had mis wired lhoJirt jm'pulse, would uato gone lo tllo outer door to have admit ted him herself. If sho had. there is no measuring the 'long, long kis3,' that would have probably lasted over all tho steps of the flight of stairs, oxolusivo of tho recess, at tho broad stop wore tho flight turns. Gut Kalo heard the slip-shod maid of all work going to the Hall door, closed her own door put away tho book she had been reading turned her back upon tho ontranco rostcd her cldows on her kneest smothered her faco in her handkerchief, a'nd imitated a sob ns vpll as she could. An interesting posture but then Kato had caught her husband ndmiring her shoulders; and who can wonder that she turned them up? I think you ought to bo ashamed!' snuffled Kate. Tho servant girl pulled her elbow. ' Get away you hateful!' Why, mawm, it isn't Mr. Brewster!' Kste looked up, A tall,roguish looking, but certainly a very hand?omc young man stood attentively regarding her. In his faco were apparent a variety of emotions, in which wonder led, mischief sparkled, but embarrassment had no place awkward as K.110 thought any strange man might havo felt in I lis situation. Now sho could have cried without any exertion, but she did not. She bowed in a manner confused but prettier for its confusion, to tho stran ger, and turned io tho servant enquiringly, (That official W3S hanging on the door knob with her mouth open, but still no word came from it.) " uelty now many times iiave l torn you not to surprise me in this way without an nouiicing a guest?' Please ma am the gontleman safil his namo was no matter ina am, said Bcttv, ' and he would come up.' Batty you may go!' said the stranger. Kato stood irresolute. Go !' repeated the strange gentleman." Kate was too much astonished to say any thing. Betty closed tho door, and peeped through the ftey-holc. Sho caw the stran ger tike her mistress by both hands she saw Mrs. Brewster shrink back a moment and then, as Betty afterwards said, 'she guv a loek, and then she guv a scream, unci then she guv him hug, and then I run, for I wouldn't have waited another minuio for the world. What is it coming to!' With nil propor reverence for Belty sho lied. She did not run for any such pruden tial motive. It was only because an awful ring at tho street door started her, an down sho tan lo welcome more horrid mys tery) It was on'.y a circular to all true dc mocratic, republican, whig electors, direc ted to Mr. Brewster. When I3olty wmit up agrin to her post at the key-hole, her inislres and tho stranger were sitting oppo site each other. How Betty did wish that her eyes tiould hear as well as see! Tho Blranuor went early away. Poor Bety went io bed that nignt in a 'doubt ful state.' New York was one of the doubtful at that timtj so Betty could have gone lo sleep in no other, without crossing to Jersey t The liquor compounding instrument rat tied in tho glasses. Jmokc had ceased to ascend in graceful clouds from tho mouths of tobacco devotees; for upon its ejectment from their lips, it had much ado to find place in the dense atmosphere, without playing fancy touches. Drums' beat in the street, and shouts of 0 ! It ! made nihl hldcons. Brewster walked through the bar-room olid up into the Hall. A pleasau looking old gentleman, with white hair, and plenty of it, was leading lu a Tippecanoe song, and Brewsler joined the full thousand who swelled the chorus for Tho iron armed boldicr tho true-hearted soldier; TJio iron urmed soldier of Tippecanoe. Then camo a speech. Then another song. Then Brewster made a speech, and noticed among tho bystanders that there was one in particular who seemed to hang on every word he said. He cheered vocif erouslystamped .uproariously, qnft bca Uiis hands till they blistered. When MrjU came down from tho rostrum, tho attentive auditor pressed up to him and offered con gratulations on tho felicity of his oration. Btowstcrliad not been a politician long, and ho blushed. ' But,' said tho other 'aro you not a lit tle too enthusiastic!' . ' Not a, shadow.' ' How mnrh majority do you give the Whigs in this Slate?' 4 The Empire is good for fifteen thous ands 'Duubtod.1 I'll bot ' How much?' As much as you choose. I'll cover dol lar with dollar.' A crowd had by this lime suspended lis tening to the orator, to hear this match. ' Bet him Browster,' cried a friend 'hi.' a Loco in disguise. Bot hnn. Tho stran ger only smiled that no one appoared to have any sympathy with him. Ho offered a bet of five thousand dollars. Browster started. Oh 1'said ihc other, 'if you don't chooso to tiko me, lot it go. I thought you were ready hut if you'rd all talk and no cider, you can't be a Harrison man.'. Whossid I hesitated ?' said Brewsler, In five minutes moro tho gentleman hadgiv enjiis name as Mr. Smith the preliminaries wore arranged, tho stranger had put his stake in specie paying notes the bystand ers had guaranteed Brewster's check, and the man with ready money had bowod and made his oxit, 1 lie's a custom htiuso officer,' said one ' He's an agent ol the eovernment,' said another. ' lie's too d d quick on the trigger fo me,' said Mr. Brewster as he walked home That's five thousand gone all's gone for it makes moro of a hole than I can well patch up and to'say nothing of tueloss of credit by betting. Belty looked O. K. at him orful kurious, to know what ho would say, if ho did but know all that sho did but he was too busy thinking of something else to noliee her. Browsler paid moro attention to his news paper than his coffee on ihe following morn ing. It was the morning of Thursday the Gih. The papers aforesaid did not offer much encouragement. Kate asked him for money. lie told her tho western counties would bring it in and Kate laughed. Ho looked up astonished at a sound little in uni son with his own feelings and Kato looked as if she would have laughed more heartily than before. Scarce was ho out of doors when Belly had the aslonishmont of admitting again tho unknowfl' gallant of Mrs. Brewster. She could hardly bo civil to him; for sho did think that such audacity passed her com prehension. Her mistress and tho caller wero so rejoiced to see each other too and laughed so heartily when the name of poor Mr. Brewster was mentioned. Bet robbed the beef alamodo of half tho claret to con sole herself under afliiction. The parlor bell rang, and when Betty answered the summons the stranger was gono. ' Please, ma'am,' said sho. when sho had received her mistress's commands ' what is the gentleman's name who was here to day ?' ' It is nono of your business.' Bot plunged to tbo kitchen, to the deepest depth of that culinary purgatory and drank the rest of the claret. Such goings on, sho declared, wero unbearable. Friday; the Cth rose yet more glovmy up on poor Brewstor. Ho was down from his chamber betimes- He had read, before his wifo had risen, Ihe most cheering accounts which the Whig papers could offer; Si found not even in tho wildest prophesy tho shad ow of a hope for tho safety of his five thous and dollars. It was, ho felt eitisfied, all up with him. ' Good morning sir,' said Betty, as she placed the coffee pot on tho table. Brews ter answered her by opening his eyes. ' I'm going to leayo you, sir,' continued Betty. - - ' Mr. BreWBter's heart and thoughts were in the Western Counties.' Ho paid the stammering maid no attontion. ' Such doings, and such goings on, sir,' said Betty, with a swing of her body, as she bit her nails, ' a decent person can't slay in the house, sir. But I don I suppose, sir, that a poor servant has any business to care what pranks her mistress cuts up sir.' Not a bit,' said Browster, now for the first time lis . listening. 1 Well, thoic it's nothing to me so there and if you don't care, I'm sure I don't know who does, I'm suio.' ' Why, what do you mean you fooi !' Fool, heh hch fool heh hch well, my mother was an honest woman, at any rate, and that is more than your children will say, I guess.' Brcvsicr took hsr by tho shoulder and shook her story out of her, and a groat deal more. Kate entered tho room at that in slant, ' in shining morning face,' and Belly shrunk down stairs swearing, and snivelling in a breath. Pretty well, too Charles,' said Kato, turning away her head to hide a laugh. Pretty well, too, I think. When you in 6ult a poor dependent uirl, vou had bottor havo respoct enough far yourself to select one who keeps her face clean.' Betty, probably never had the soot .is sed off hers,' said Browster bitterly. Tis a pity I did'ut wait for you to finish your tete-a-tete then,' said Kato, in tho same tone. ' Madam !' ' Sir !' ' Tho strange gentleman, ma'am' said Belty, opening tho door, a malicous devil in both her eyes ' tho strange gentleman ma'am without any namo, ma'am' wink ing impudently to her master. In stalked the unknown fiiend of the fam ily..--"My brollicr, Mr. Browstor,' eai Kate, presenting him. ' Mr. Smith 1' exclaimed Browsfcr. ' No more Mr. Smith,' said the other tak ing hia hand . " And I will nova-play Mr. Smith any more." ' I am very happy to know you, sir,' said Browster, and stand ready to give up to you the bet I made with Mr. Smith.' ' And I told Kato sho should have all my winnings and so pass it to her.' And I own no interest separate from Charles's and so of courso it is his.' ' But I shall not consent to any such baby-like arrangement. A loss is a loss.' It was a conspiracy my dear sir and is entirely Kate's money. I went from this house by her directions to make the bet or a bet, with you before you should know mo I bet I won I am a mero agent this is a clear ease of conspiracy, and if you will complete it by becoming a conspirator against your own bankruptcy, all parties will bo content.' And thua resulted Brewster's first feet. If it should provo bis last, as he promises it shall, (hen, indoed, will all be O. K. The brother, for many long years absent, was too late to register Jiis namo among the legal voters; but not too hue to save his sister from ruin, by arresting the first folly of her husband. Vtry Satisfactory. 1 Now uncle, hang a big pumpkin to tho ceiling, and daub it ovor with molasses and when you see tho flies gathered around it imagine that it is the world, and the flics its inhabitants.' That's the way it works; is it?' 4Woll Tom is it a fact that tho Chinese walk with iheir feet foment our feet, and their heads down?' Yes sir.' And is it a fact that tho devil's works is right under the oartb?' ' Yes sir.' Well I wonder if fhoso Chinese bothered a good deal with tho smoke?' fire mm A New Punishment. Any man so baso as to strike a woman, should bo placed on tho back of a hard trotting horse nnd made to coJlect no wspaper accounts forthobalanco of his life. A QUACK DOCTOR 4 Well, Miko, I'll speak to somo of my friends here about you, and we'll soldo it all properly. Here's tho Doctor.' 4 Arrah, Mister Charles, don't mind him ; he's a poor crayturo onlirely; devil a thing ho knows. ' Why what do yod mean, man? ho a physician to the forces.' ' Oh, by gorry, and so ho rriay be, said Miko, with a toss of his head; those army doclhcra isn't worth their salt. It's truth I'm tellin you: sure, didn't he como to sec mo when I was sick below in the hold? How do you feel?' sayB he. 4 Terrible dhry in the mouth,' says . But your bonas,' says he, 'how's therni' As if cripples was kicking me,' says I. Well, with that ho went away, &broughi back two powders. Tako them,' says lid, and ye'll be cured iu no time;' ' What's liiem ?' says I. They're ametics,' says he. Blood and ages,' says I, 'arc thcyt ' Devil a lio,' says he, take them imrri'tis dialely.' ' And I tuk them and would you boliovb me, ftlistet Uuarlest it a trutn i m leinng you devil a ono of them would stay irt my stomach. So you see what a docthor he is !' Very Affecting. L sentimental youlU having 6eon a ydung damsel shedding tears over something in her lap, took tho first op portunity to be introduced to her; and madd no doubt that alio was a congenial spirit. What work was it that affected yon sd much, the other merning 1 I saw you shod tears. Was it Bulwer's last t' I don't know what Bulwer's last is,' re turned she, but I can ossuro you, sir, I was doing a job which always almost kills mo; 1 was pooliug onions; KEEP IT BEFORE THE PEOPLE; That it is absolutely necessary that peo ple should pay their subscriptions to enable printers to live like other folks. This in formation may bo astonishing to somo of our patrons, yet wo assuro them that it is literally true, for wo havo proved it by ac tual experience. Exchange paper. Unnecessary Advice. A country gen tleman, who fills every situation necsssary lo constilulo him 'the head of tho village,' and who has taken somo pains to instruct tho rustic inhabitants in the proper ligns of respect duo to him, being lately on a horsd somowhat givon to shy.and observing a lad walking before him, called out; 'Boy, don't tako off your hat.' Tho youth turning his head very innocently answered, 'I won't a goin' to; sir. The Loves of Royality. It is a little singular that the Kinb" of Holland and tho Queen Regent of Spain, havo brth abdica ted their thrones on account of marrying be neath their rank. They have, however shown good sense in tho movement, cs they both retire from tho cares of royalty with large fortunes. According to tho Paris Na tional tho King of Holland - has about 33 millions of dollars in the funds. Ho has been king 25 years, so that ho has saved more than a million of dollars a year. The same paper says it is not known what a mouut Queen Christina has saved, but is reported lo be large. Nothing,' squire, never stop n womnri when her ciiriosily is once up, especially if sho bo curious to know something' about herself. Only hold a secret in your hand to her, Hnd it's like a bunch of catnip to a cat; sho'll jump, and frisk; and frolic round liko anything, and nover give over purrin and coaxin of you till sho gets it, Slick. Tho Nantuckot Inquirer gives the last case of absont raindness. A lodger in a hotel after washing himself in ihe morning.wiped his face with tho newspaper, and sat down lo peruso the napkin: he did not discover hia' error lilljhe attempted to tear off thd corner lolight his cigan
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers