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I liaro sworn upm Iho Altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of Tyrauny over tho Blind tf Mau.j Thomas Jeffsrson.
PRINTD AND PUBLISHED BY H. WEBB
COXilTTODBIA COIOTTm PA. SATURDAY. JULY 11. 1840.
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CRUISE OP An old salt.
gughablc account of a Shipwretk on
XTtTTti Firma. The eccentricities and
whimsicalities of old salt water captains,
fifrontlthe days of Commodore Trunnion)
4own to the present, are well known, and
tfcfdreds of amusing anecdotes have been
Jtol'dlupn tlio subject; but as wo have never
'Jjeeii'lhe following in print, and in tho total
ft&bscnce of news foreign, coastwise or
Otherwise we have been induced to devote
column to its recital :
'tie hero of our story was an old hero of
sBoth the revolutionary and last war one
fjwjio had labored hard, suffered much, and
joften received the thanks of his country.
ijfcVearu and exposure having finally rendeied
Im unseaworthy, he brought his water
an! s ashore and settled down in a pleasanj
, of the country to spend the remainder
Mia days. After so long a residence up
jmtho water it is not to bo supposed that
ihe old gentleman found every thing "ship
!sWapo" on land but with, the assistance of a
juplo of old sailors, one of them an trisli-
Imai: whom ho had brought ashore with him
Ike'' in a short time made out to introduce
Haan-of-war fashions, so far as pacticableiup
fen his premises.
SR. .1 . 1. - t...1 .
tuvmong ins oiuer cccuuiucums nc n.iu .
aVriago built upon a plan entirely new
urely original and we doubt if even a
moil"- the thousands of useful, ornamental
and nwnssnsical articles in the patent of-
!' at Washington its fellow can be found.
;t',was nothing more nor less tlinn a regular
an-of-war, on a small scale, completely
,jgged with sails, hausers, anchors, tic.
Tins he had set upon springs, the whole
ioii fined upun four common carriage wheels.
Mike, his Irish sailor, was soon ei into tho
Secret rf driving four-in-hand, and three lit
Jftle jaunts were made in the neighborhood
Twilh complete success.
One fine morning in summer the old bom
rnpuore invited several ladies to take a cruisu
Willi hi in in his vessel to some springs situ
ated about twenty miles off. Fearing that
some accident might occur, they politely
He set forth, in glowing terms,
Mho pleasure of sUch a cruise, said it was u
(conveyance decidedly safer than any that
could he procured, and used every argument
olnduco them to lake passage, but all to no
urpossi Some gentlemen finally agreed
jtojaccompany him, and taking Mike along
;a. sit on the bowsprit and drive, and the
SlTier sailor to hand sails, &c. the party
ot under way and set sail far the springs.
I fhe road for the first ten miles of the
journey was level or slightly asccndiiig.and
this part was got oVer smoothly and with
But accident. Occasionally, as tho toad
turned to the right or left; the old coninio-
wore would stig out to Mike to haul in or
slacken bis larboard or starboard braces, and
c so far it had perfectly "plain ailing,'
very thing worked to a eharm. They had
iJow arrived at a point of the voyage where
the road began to doscond. The horses
ashed off at a moro rapid lata, and the
ivlioio party were c&iiiiuuivu w mcj now
l I I - .1
past rocks trees and fences. The farther
Ihey advanced, the faster went the hortes,
find from a brisk trot they at length got into j
Haul taught the fore braces," said the
comniodoro alluding to tho lines which wete
attached to the leaders.
"Aye, aye, sir," responded Mike, who
yas now holding them in rrilh all his
"Slacken the larboard foro brace there
hurry!" continued tho Commodore, as the
leaders were approaching too near tho brink
of a precipice which started at them from
"Ave, ays, sir," said Miko.
"How fast are we going now!" said tho
Commodore to the other tar.
"About sixteen knots, sir," continued
Jack, who was holding fast to tho little fore
mnst, to prevent being pitched out, as tho
wheels would occasionally hit a stump or
Tho pace had now become absolutely ler
rific. Single-trees and double-trees were
rattling, traces were swinging about, hold
back straps wcro strained all but to break
ing, and still the mad steeds kept on down
the declivity. To the left was the steep
and gloomy precipice, at some points a
hundred feet high, and to run off hero to
meet with a shipwreck at such a point-
would involve tho certain destruction of
passengers and horses, Officers and crew
The passengers were alarmed, and even
the breve old Commodore, although h
showed no fcar,apd appeared perfectly cool
and collected, began to think it time to haul
"How docs sho head now?" shouted the
old fellow to Mike.
"Right on that howlih' precipice there
By mo sowl it would'nt be our mothers that
ud know us if she sinks in that ugly spot,'
was the answer.
"Let go the mairisail,'sung out tho tiom
modorc, who was nlL the. while workin
at a sham rudder alt, imagining lie was
keeping hij craft from eoine over th
"Aye, aye, sir' and down cams the sail
rattling and fluttering with the current of air
raised by tho speed at which they were go
ing. The noise frightened the horses still
moret and down they went at a pace faster
"Let go, the topsails, Jack," was thenex
order, and they were soon
"Keep her steady, there, Mike.1'
"That s just what I'm alther doing, air,
but the dovil himself could nt Keep a erapt
steady in such a rough timo as this
"Jib, there lit go and haul the jib,'
suns out tho Commodore. In less time
than it takes us to tell the jib came down up
on the wheel horses, who, receiving an ad
ditiortal fright, stalled off more furiously
than ever. Things now looked alarmingly
serious, and the gentlemen passengers were
trembling with fright. The Commedore
had one more experiment to try, and as
shipwreck now appeared inevitable, he sung
"Let go the anchor! Be quick!" No
sooner said than done, for beforo the words
were fairly out of the Commodore's mouth,
Jack had pushed a small anchor from the
bows of tho craft About fifteen fathoms of
rope spun out with great velocity, when
the anchor caught in a tree by the road side
and brought them all up. It did not bring
them all up standing, however, but all turn
bling, for the sudden jerk sent the leaders
over the precipice, draesiiiff the other hor
ses and the novel craft passengers, bag'
gage and all a distance of about thirty feet
after then. Three of the horses were kill
rd. Mike had his shoulder put out) the old
Commodore was severely, and his friends
slightly injured, and even the Guerriere, af
ter having been battered all ta pieces by the
Constitution, did not present such a melan
choly lacking wreck as tho old Commo
dore's man-of-war pleasure waggon after
the accident. Thus ends our story of the
"Land Cruise of an Old Salt." ir. O.
These few words makes a lino.
A CHEAP DRILL; j
During the last war with Great Britaim
an English frigate was cruising off the West
Indies, when she overtook ons of the 'down i
east' craft richly laden, for the pert of Bos-1
ton; A gup was fired for Jonathan to come
to, but ho very unceremoniously kopt quiet
ly on his course, to the utter indignation bf
John Bull. Presently a shot came flyintr
past the skipper's deck, tearing up the Splin
ters in great style. This had not tho least
effect on the Yankee. Presently the frigate
hove up alongside Jonathan.
1 Ship ahoy ! where are you bound ! sung
out Bull in n voice of thunder.
For Bost'n, I guess,' replied Jonathan.
' Who is your captain V
Well, I guess 23 how I'se captain now,
's Zekcl's down below.'
What arc you laden with V vociferated
4 With hens and hens' husbands, hobgob
ns. long-faced gentry and shingle bales j,
(all Greek to the English gentlemen.)
Heave out your boat and come abroad,'
Han't got sny boat,' echoed Jonathan;
got a canoe with no bottom, so I shan't
danger my life in her.'
Bull finding it useless to parley with the
diminutive, insolent Yankee, hove out lu'o
boat and boarded Jonathan liko lightning.
' Where is this cargo of yours V deman
ded the officer of the birge advancing
towards Jonathan who during this colloquy
very disinterestedly sat on a half cask at the
Thero'a the hens and hen's Husband
(pcinting to the chicken coop;) there's the
noogoDiins, (tnrowing a chip at some two
or threo turkeys about the deck;) and hero's
the long-faced gentry,' showing the pig-sty
and pulling off the hatches, here's the
shingle bales,' beneath which lav the rich
Carg&W. the ikippei. v
Blow him up I' cried some of the boar
ders ; 'tar and feather him,' vociferated the
less savage part of them. 'Silence 1' cx
claimed the officer.
'Now,' said he, addressing Jonathan, 'if
we ever catch you out here again with such
a worthless cargo, wo will blow you up to
the moon 1'
Thank'e sir,' said Jonathan.
' Now, men, give his crew thirty lashes
a piece; begin with the captain.'
Jonathan received his sentence very good
Where'a the rest of your gang?' inquired
the officer.of Jonathan looking around aid
seeing nobody but a black and white boy on
' Han't but two beside myself untie
Obadiah and cousin Zekel ; they're down in
the cabin sick, answered Jonathan.
'Sick! sick?' asked several very eager-
Yes,' said Jonathan, both got the yellow
' Yellow fever ! echoed tho boarders,
some jumping in the boat, some making
a moro hasty exit, overboard, clearing
Jonathan's deck like hot shot, leaving him
to himself to thank his stars for so cheap
TAKING THE CENSUS.
Sceke A house in the country.
Inquisitor. Is the head of the family at
Mrs. Tunchwood. Yesi sir, I'm al
Inq. Hav'nt you a husbandi
Mrs. T- Why, bless me, what's that
you ? You are mighty inquisitive
Inq. Pin the man that takes' the cen
Mrs. T. If yotl was a man fn your sen
ses, you would'nt ax such impertinent
Inq, Don't be affronted, old lady, but
answer my questions as I ask them.
Mrs. T. "Answer a foel according to
his folly," you know what tho Sripter says.
Old lady, indeed 1
I beg your pardon, madam ; bat I don't
care about hearing scripture at this moment. I
I am bound to go according to law, and Dot
according to Gospel.
Mrs. T, I should think you went neith
er according to law nor gospel. What bu
siness is it to you to enquire into folks' af
fairs, Mr. ThingUmbeg 1
Inq The law makes it my business,
good woman, and if you don't want to ex
pose yourself to its'peraltles, you must an
swer my questions.
Mrs. T. Oh, its the law; is it? That al
ters the case. But I should like to know
what business the law has with peoplo's
Irrq. Congress tnado the law; and
if it dont plcaso you; you must talk to
Mrs. T Talk to a fiddle stick ! Why
Congress is a fool and you're another.
There was once assembled in Mic'hael
Scuppach's laboratory a great many distin
guished persons from all parts of the world,
partly to consult him and out of curiosity
and among them many French ladles and
gentlemen; and a Russian Prince, with his
daughter, whose singuhr beauty attracted
general attention, A young French Mar
quis attempted, for the amusement of tho
ladies, to display his wit on tho miraculous
Doctor! but the latter, though not much ac
quainted with the French language, an
swercd so pertinently that tho Marquis had
not the laugh on his aide. During this con
versation, an old peasant ontered, meanlv
dressed, with a snow-white beard, a neigl;
borof Scuppach's. Scuppach directly tuin
ed away from his great company to his old
neighbor, and hearing that his wife was ill
set about preparing the necessary medicin
for her, without paying much attention to
his more exhalted gnosis, whose business
he did not think so pressing. The Mar
quis was nc;w depriv$dof one subject of hi
wit, and therefore chose for his butt the old
man, who vas waiting while his neighbor
Michael was preparing something for his
old Mary. After many silly jokes on his
long white beard, ho offered a wager el
twelve louisdors, that none of the ladies
would kiss the dirty looking fellow. The
Russian Princess, hearing these words,
made a sign to her attendants, who brought
her a plate. The Princess put twelve lou
isdoro 011 it and carried it to tho Marquis,
who could not decline adding twelve others.
Then the fair Russian want up to the old
peasant with the long beard, and said,
"Permit me, venerable father, to salnte you
after the fashion of my country." Saying
which, she embraced him and gave him a
kiss. She then presented him with the
gold which was on the plate, with these
words "Take this as a remembrance of
me, and as a sign that the Russian girl
think it their duty to honor old age."
Recently, a gentleman while travelling
through tho Creek nation, in Alabama, met
an Indian of whom he inquired how far it
was to the next house,
"About two miles, "answered the Creek
"but just beyond the house the road forks
ana tho rig tit nana win taKo you to a very
good house about five miles further."
" Thank you," said the traveller, and
pursued his journey. In half an hour
the gentleman came to the first house.
The worthy host was standiug at the
" Hallo!" cried tho stranger.
" Hallo yourself!" responded the man of
" Do you keep entertainment here!"
" Yes sir."
" Can niy horso bavo seme corn and fod
" No, sir, I ha'n't got any.'
" Can yqM let me have some bread and
" No, sir,"
" Have you accommodations for lodg
I Why then how do you do !
' I'm quite well, I thank you hw is tf
r" Confound the fellow 1" said the stran
ger, aside, and again resumed "Well, the
road forks, I believe, some distance front
here does it not?"
' Yes, sir.'
"Will you be so good as to tell rat whenl
tho right hand gees to !"
" It has'n't gone any wiero since I live -
in these parts.
' Good day, sir," said the stranger.
" Good day," replied tho fellow, coolyj
and walked into his house. Picayune.
Home Affection's. How sweet ara tho
affections of social kindness! how balmy
the influence of that regard which dwells
around our own fireside. Distrust and
doubt darken not the brightness of its puii-
rity the carplngs of interest or joalousy
mar not the harmony of that scene.' Paren
tal kindness and filial affection' bltsaona
there in all the freshness of eternal spring.
It matters riot if the world is cold if the
selfishness and injustice of mankind return
our warm sympathies barren; if wb cats
turn to our own dear circle, and ask and re
ceive nil that our heart claims. The ex
change of kindly affections ,in confidence!
and trust, is the purest enjoyment of our
nature. Literary Emperium.
Good Nature. Dame Grundy was tho
most good natured woman alive. Cone
what would every thing was right, nothing
wrong. One day farmer Grundy told &
neighbor that ho believed that his wife was
the most even tempered woman irt the
world, for he never saw her cross in his life
and that for oace he should like to see her
si " Well," said his neighbor, "go inlei
tho woods and bring her a load of thscrook
cdeit wood you can find, and if It don't
make her cross.nothing will." "According
ly, to try the experiment, he teamed homo
aiead of wood every way calculated to make
a woman fret. For a week or mors aha
used the wood copiously, but not a word of
complaint escaped he, lips. So one day
the husband ventured to inquire of her how
she liked her wood. "Oh it is beautiful
wood," said she,'I wish you'd get another
Iond,or it lays around the pot :t contJ
Cheap Manuring. Many farmers ill
this State of late yearn have adopted tho
practice of manuring the land for wheat the
ensuing seaton; by turning in green crops.
For Instants, tako a field when the grass
unon it is about fullv ffrown, say the first
I " w
of July, and turn it nicely over with the
plough. Then harroV snd sow with buck
wheat. In four or five weeks; that is by
tho middlo of August, this crep will havo
attained its growth. Turn this under with
the plough as you did the grass before
These two green crops thus ploughed un
der.bring to the soil much rnanUra from tho
green haulm acquired from the atmosphero.
They create an active fermentation, raak
tho soil light and pliable,' snd mantlro it
more than if the cane had been cat in tho
form of hay or fodder and given to horae-i
and cattle in tho bam. It is on the whola
an excellent mode of enriching soils.whioh
will ordinarily produce good wheat tha next
S wift, who reasoned upen the folly of th
dread of death, suras up thus : "It is im
possible that any thing so natural, so xs-
. . 1.1 t 1.1
cessaiy, anu so universal as aeatu snoum
ever have been designed by Providence as
art evil to mankind."
It is rather a curious incident, that when
the American Concrocs sent Dr. rrarikliit;
a printer, as Minister to France, the Court
of Versailltes sent M. Gerard, a bookbin
der, as Minister to the United btates.-
Wheri Dr. Franklin was told of it, he ex
claimed. "Well, I'll i'kint the lnuepena-
enco of America aud M. Gerard will mud
It.' Boston JECJ.S H'JLt