The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, July 20, 1839, Image 1

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    "I have sworn, upon tho Altar of Cod, eternal hostility to-evert form of Tyranny over the mind of man." Thomas Jefferson,
MINTED AND PUBLISHED BY II. WEBB.
Volume III.
n7i
IVumlicr 12.
1
fcOFFICE OF THE DEMOCIIAT,
Oitosite St. Paul's Ciiukch, Main-st
The COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT will be
published every Saturday morning, at
TWO DOLLARS per annum, payable
half yearly in advance, or Two Dollars
Fifty Cents, if not paid within the year.
JVb subscription will be, taken for a shorter
period than six months; nor any discon
tinuance permitted, until all arrearages
arc discharged.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding a
square, will be conspicuously inserted at
One Dollar far the first three insertions,
and Twenty-five cents for every subse
quent nscrl'ion. CTA liberal discount
made tolhose who advertise by the year.
LETTERS addressed on business, must
be post paid.
EASY JOS BRUCE.
BY II. II. WUI.D.
Ulrqs mc!' exclaimed .Mr. Joseph Bruce,
or perhaps we should rather say Joe Bruce,
ns he was a noble, easy fellow, nobody
thought of allowing him more than half his
name, or of anything else which belonged
to him. ' T sec by tho paper that Hawk &
Harpey have assigned. I meant to have
secured my debt yesterday.' He left his
coffee half drank, Mumbled over the thres
hold, and went almost at a run to the count
ing room of Hawk & Ilarpey. One half
his speed on tho day before would have
saved his debt : as it was, he was just in
season to put his name at tho bottom of a
dozen and a half prepared ones, to reccic
ten per cent. He went back to his tinfin
ished breakfast with what appetite he
might.
Why did you neglect this so long, Mr.
Bruce V said his helpmate and comforter.
4 I -meant to have attended to it yesterday,
my dear.'
' You meant '. Thai is always your way,
Mr. Bruco. You carelessly neglect your
(business to the last moment, and then. put
yourself in a haste and neat-for limiting,
my dear.'
Uenllv. Mrs; Bruce'
And it was really Mrs. Bruce, for few of
the feminine, and none ol no masculine
gender, could have kept pace with her.
flftrtninlv. Easy Joe could not. The clatter
nf a cotton mill would not have been a cir
cumstance to the din she rcaiscd. Easy Joe
pulled a cigar case out of his pocket clap
ped his feet on the fender and it almost
seemed that the nmoko rendered his cars
imnorvious to tho blcatmgs of that gentle
jamb, his spouse, so placid was his counte
nance, as the vapor escaped in graceful vol-
fi-nm his mouth. People overshoot
the mark sometimes. Mrs. Bruce did- Had
she spared her oration, the morning's loss
would have induced her husband to have
been punctual to his business, for one day at
least. As it was he took the same pride in
neglecting it under her lecture, that the Grand
Nation took so long in refusing to pay tho
claims of- our citizens.
TtrooTo nwnv. Mrs. Bruce !'
Breeze awav. Sir ! Breeze away ! I
wish I could impart one tittle of my ener-
ov to von. Mr. Bruce: 11
' Bruce snraus to his feet, and crash came
an elegant mantel clock down upon the
hearth.
4 There, Mr. Bruce ! that clock has stood
thcro three months without fastening;:
single screw would have saved it; but'
4 Well, I meant to'
You meant! Mr.Bruco low meant
won't nav the damoae, nor Hawk & Ilai
pey's ! You meant, indeed !'
Bruce seized his hat and cloak' In
few minutes he was on 'Change. Nobod
could read in his face any traces of tho ma
rimonial breeze, and nobody would suspeo
from his countenance that Hawk & Harpey
had failed in his debt. Easy Joo Bruce !
Well, Mr. Bruce, they've ro.utod him.'
Who?'
4 Our friend Check. Pingrcc was cho
sen President of tho Bunk, this morn
ing, One vote would have stopped him.'
4 How delccdly unlucky. I meant to
have been present to vote for Check my
self 1
Never mind, Bruce,' said another.
4 You arc a lucky man. The news of the
great firo in Speedervillo has reached town
liy express, and 1 congratulate you that you
was fully ensured.'
Insured I my policy expired last week.
I meant to have got it' reoewqd this morn
ing.' Joo posted homo in no happy humor.
When an oasy man is fairly up, ho is tho
moel uneasy and unreaspnblo man in erea
tiun,
Mrs. Bruce, by staying at homo to hear
you scold, I have lost thousands. I meant
to have got insured this morning I did
not; Speedcivillo is burned down, and I am
beggar.'
' Wliy did you not do it yesterday, Mr.
Bruce V i
I was thinking of Hawk ili Harpey'
Thinking ! Why did you not secure
ourself V
4 1 meant to, but'
' But give inc no buts.'
' You arc in excellent spirits, Mrs.
Bruce.'
Never bolter.
Vastly fine, madam. Wc are beggars,'
Mrs. Bruce sat down, and clapped her feet
on tho fender, after her husbi'ttid's manner
in the morning.
Wc are beggars, madam, bruce repeat
ed.
Verv rood I will take m-r cuitar, and
on shall shoulder the three ch'ildrcu. We
will plav; under Mr. Hawk's window first,
then under Mr. Ilarpey b and then go beg
our way to Speederviltcyto play to the ashes
I what was once yourtactory which you
meant to have insured. I should like beg
ins 'f aH ibings
You abominable woman ! I shall go
mad.
, Do not,I beseech you.Mr. Bruco ! Thcv
put mad men in Bcdl.'tm.'
Jruec sprang lor lli'f- door, ilis wife in
terrupted him. 1 Hen';., Joseph, is a paper
meant to nave shown; yon tins morning.
' A policy, and dated yesterday !'
4 Yes. You meant to get it renewed to
day. I meant it shouh'l bu done yesterday,
si 1 told vour cleric, lor vou, to do it. Am
not an abominable woAiian I'
' When I said so, l wa3 in a pet. I
meant i
No more of that Josr.-ph. Now toll mo
who i3 the first on Hawk & Harpey's as
signincnt '.
4 Your brother.' v
4 His claim covers yoiji both.'
4 You are an angel," Mrs. Bruce !
Easy Jco become an altered man, and
his wife was released IV'm her watch over
is out dor business, S! died some years
before him but we are h nlf inclined to sus
pect, that after her death , Joe partially re
uneeu into l--.rjdi..s'"ip Ja
;abit is a second nature. fJiotli were ourieu
in the grave yard at Spe,edcrvillo, and our
suspicions founded on so incthing like the
following conversation win in took piacc uo
tween the crave dipper and his assistant .
4 Where are we to dig Mr., unices grave;-
4 1 do not know exactly, llis will says
next his wife.'
4 Where was she laid !'
4 That I don't know. Ea'ly Joe always
said he meant to place an obolisk over her
hut it nevei was done.
From tho Hay Stale Deci pcrat.
THE DEMOCRATIC tpLOCK
44 Here she goes there slut goes."
The rood old fashioned famil V clock, like
radical democracy, pursues her steady on
ns
ward course. 1 ho old luderal
aristocracy
gaze upon her with glazed eye?
, ami in the
bitterness ot tlicir souls, pom
ting to tlio
bright pcndulem as it vibratct
li, cry out
" Here she goes there she goc
It is true the Federalists som
.ettinos sue
ceed in deranging her works, tht
mi they aux
iouslv watch hei motion; hopn
in and pray
ing sho may cease to move,
mocracv artist is not slow to dis
But the dc
:ovor the in
jurv. in the twinming 01 ano
w 1 1 r . 1
10 he repairs
tho damages, ana tne goon on
regulator pursues the even tenor
R democratic
'of her way
and the astonished Federalists,
disappoint
ed, cry out 44 Here she goesV-lhere she
troes."
Now you sec the wholo fcdeibl clan busi
W oiifafcd. calling in the aid of foieign in
flupiifn in Blnn the democratic clock. The
i.ionoved monstcr.mounted by 4401d Nick,
iii-ilmrr. nnrrnntioii. art. and deception, all
resorted to, to turn tho democratic clork
from her perennial course; bull sho stems
ihe power aud influence of thc'ir black art,
and moves steadily and handsomely on,
spreading happiness all around and ward
ing all the rocus anu snoais 01 iuiiei.u vnijj.
gcry. while tho poor souls looking at the
pendulum in despair, exclaim y Here she
goesthere she goes." I
When tho British commenced depreda
tions on our commerce impiciscd and
brutally treated our seamen, and threatened
us on all sides with destruction when our
country bled at every pore; it wast then tho
Federalists made another bold ri bhattho
old democratic family clock. They poured
in red hot, round head, chain, graAc, canis
ter, and stand shot, into her worhs. She
boro the siege, as sho over will, an il pursued
her independent conrso triumphantly, and
the traitors gave up in despair, cry ing
44 Here she goes there she goes?'
Tho next attack tnado on tho demooptic
clock, was by the Federalists spiritual
guard. 44 0," said they, 44 she io the poor-!
est, weakest, and most wretched piece of
furniture in nil creation. Wo can soon put
ler down and stop her eternal clicking.
t it they went with their spiritual weapons.
MichtV indeed was the onset. Heaven and
earth were almost rent asunder in tha con
flict. But they soon found tho machinery
f the democratic time keeper as tough as
Old Hickory; and, exhausted in their un-
nstian warfare, they retreated to ttio tunc
of 44 Here she goes there she socs."
Now hear the squeaking voice of that tall
man, dark complexion, sunken eye, and
ercc look. He. lias trot the litiincy. ucar
him blustering, threatening to stop tho pen
dulum of all whopretimed to reinico at
the glorious movement bf the old American
democratic clock, over John Bull' inferior
time pieces. Ho too w compelled to join
the song ot triumph "Uicrc sue goes
there she c-ocs."
Now tho Federalists fescorated the cra
dle of liberty by their tcli per cent rebellion
id. J his was another ol incir contrivan-
. . .1 t ; - i ... ...i .1.
ecu to stop tne oui cicci;; uui wurii uiu
workmen were there, the rebels backed out,
weeping and crying1' Here she goes
there she goes-" I
Now they gather troops in tne Keystone
State, to demolish t!c democratic lamiiy
lock. But they find her works impregna
te, and the rebel Kitncrilcs walk off the
course with the 44 roaucs march, pointing
to the shining pendulum of tho democratic
clock, mournfully singing 14 Here she goes
there site goes.
In Virginia, too: 44 Aye,"said the Feder
alists, chuckling, 44 now we'll clap a stop
per on that old wagging democratic machine.
J he LnmurCr after truth is with us. now
wo ate a host. A mn too has suppcu uui
ot the old clock; Hives has deserted tier.
Let us throw tho old choker into lJavy
Jones' looker." 4.4 Hold hold there ye
full'destroycrs," crie3 the indrpenent En
nuirer: 44 hands oh- 1 am set lor mc tie
fence, not the destruction of the democratic
clock." And tho Federalists and the con
servatives of the Old Dominion, in despair,
looked on the slcady movements of the
peitdtihininand cried 11 Here she goes
there she gor.i.
Now there s a trcmmeniious breeze rais-
...
the., 44 we'll shiver fhoi'fd lime to atoms.
IjC, us send messengers to tne loumaiu 01
purity, the Boston Atlai, for tools tools.
necessary to accomplish so desirable an ob
ject." Now alius ready the war commen
ces tho battle rages. Hip uemocrats
mount their fury coursers, apply the 44 whip
and spur, and drive the whole federal army
up Salt River, where they are doomed to
remain forever, singing Here she goes
there she goes."
Ah, poor Federalists, there 13 no reprieve.
You have wasted your strcngh in folly.
Yon may continue to war as long as you
will; but you cannot harm the 0111 ocmociai
ic clock. Sho speaks truth, and the lovers
of truth will defend her. She is the per
sonification of democracy, which is truth;
and (ho truth will prevail against the assaults
of the combined forces of traitors, rebf!?,
mobiles and deceivers. Look 14 Here Site
goes there she goes" and will keep going
till every vestige of federal whigism is
driven from tho land of freedom.
HOW TO GET UP A BANK.
The Bank Commissioners appointed by
the Legislature of Michigan, in their lato
report tell n curious story of the manner in
which Ihe Bank of Oakland was established.
It appears that one W. S. Stevens, the
principal owner of ihe concern, borrowed
$5,000 in specie of a neighboring bank
and sent it to Oakland institution to bo duly
credilcd by tho Cashier a3 capital stock
paid in. Ho then immediately drew it out
on his own account, and afterwards sent
hirfld man with it to be credited a second
tiiiia as na'ul capital. This manrovcr ho a
gain repeated thus enabling tho cashier to
eweur tint fifteen thousand dollars in specie
had been paid in, and consequently, to set
tho bank in operation. This accomplished,
the $5,000 was restored to its original own
nr.
The abovo statement which is going the
rounds of the newspapers, explains one of
tho most approved mothous 01 getting up a
bank or shaving institution, according to
tho latest refinement on the great rroditsys
leni It explains tho procegs wncruuy "
individual without a bent, or a knot of such
individuals clubbing their wits as a joint
stock can mako it appear that they have
thousands at tlicir disposal, and how upon
that appeaianco, they may obtain and ap
propriate thousands belonging to other peo
ple. This statement explains the grand
principle which lio3 at the root of the mat-
wiiolu iViiiHnu trihe"aTt-n(Lru? old dnillnci
ic clack in the rear. Of wlfat rejoicinjr !
How-sancnine of success! 44 NoW.V said
ter. There may be variations in the mode
of working it, but it '1 upon the foundaton
that the patent exploding torpedo humbugs
of tho time arc constructed. Tho promi
ses of stockholders to pay Eland for cash
the capital of tho concern is ink and paper
its issues arc lampblack and paper, back
ed perhaps, by the money beguiled from un
wary dopo9itors, ar.d by the very small
sums actually paid for stonk, the officers,
directors, stockholders mombcrs of the lc-
cis blurs who granted the charter or are
wanted for future uso launch out in specula
toin in purchase of fine houses, and in ex
travagant living in all its varieties tho na
bobs of an hour. Tho froz swells almost
to the dimensions of an ox, until it so hap
pen3 that depositors want their money a-
"am, or some oilier oeniauu is nmue which
cannot ho answered by lampblack and pa-
and then well, what then! Why,
the immense fabric crumbles at a touch
dis-nlacc a single pin and the whole cslab
lishmcnt collapses with a sighing puff
which explains, its windy nature. 1 no sin
ners escape, because may are parcel 01 our
dearly beloved great credit anu iimnsu lia
bility system the loscts weep tho public
fume the mailer is forgotten, and we Boon
wipe our eyes and submit to be gulled a
ain iust as wc were gulled before. Would
15 J. . . 0 . . l.i: ui l.
,'ou checK enterprise ccpui sumiumig muuio
n theroval road to wealth, without labor
would you be so unfashionable as to patron
ize industry and toil would you ask peo
ple to be content with slow gains and sura
in a world where one's wils form capital,
and brass is the best circulating medium X
Ridiculous! Why, upon the great system
explained above, two boys locked up in an
nraniv room made a shilling a piece by
swopping jackets, and as they were lads of
enterprise, it is supposeu mat even wimoi
clothes, they could have made sixpense out
of one another by hypothecation and stock
notes, each "shaver ."landing in the altitude
of an institution." Their fathers can be
gin with nothing and surely their boys may
work similar miracles upon a scale ada'pted
to their capabilities. Venn.
Early Commerce of Amtrica. 'Inter
esting Tacts. Tho first decked vessel ev
er built within the limits of the old. United
r-,!s,zsi??e an the banks ot the
1 , , M
of 1031. She was called a yent, ami Tier
first vovafo was made throyn Hell Gate,
into the Sound, and as far' East as Cape
O... ' bv the inyard IV.sagc. it was in that
Block I'lai'd was i'overed. Wi''mi the
first 40 yeaPs-'l.nr the settlement of Massa
chusetts, there were built in Boston and its
vicinity, 7:30 vessels varying from G to 250
hrthnn. One of these the Blessing
of the Bav, a bark of 30 tons, was built
11 l;:n. Tin celebrated English I'ainot
and divine, Huge Peters, caused a vessel
of 300 ions to bo constructed at Salem, in
1011. The first Schooner launched is said
to have been built at Cape Ann, 111 1714.
In 171-1, Connecticut had but two brigs,20
sloops and a few smaller crafi, employing
but 120 seamen ; white Massachusetts,
about tho same lime had 402 vesi-rb, the
tonago of which was 25,100, and employed
2190 seamen. Tho first ensign ever shown
by a regular man ol war, was rioisau
011 board 'the frigate Alfred, in the Dclewarc
by tho hands ol Paul Jones, in mo laucr
part of December, 1775. What this en
sigu was is not precisely known, a3 the
present national color.? were not formerly
adopted until 1777. The first regular A
merican cruizer that went to sea was the
Lexington, a little brig of 14 guns com
manded by Crpliiin John BaVry of Phila
delphia. Sho sailed sometime in tho win
inrnf 1775. Tho first American man-ol-
war that ot to sea after the adoption of our
present form of Government was originally
an lndiaman, but was purchased by the
government and converted unto a cruizor,
having an armament of 21 guns. She sail
ed in May. 1793 under command of Cap.
tain Pviohard Dale, who was first Lieuten
ant f tho Bon Ilotnmo Richard, when the
ship'captured the Scrapis. Tha Constella
tion was the first of new built vessels that
went to sea, undflr captain Tiuxlon. Sho
sailed in June 1703, plkl was followed by
tho United Slates, and a little later by the
Constitution, both iIipbo latter sailing in Ju
ly tho same year. The first prize under
our present naval organization was tho
French privateer La Croyabic. Sho was a
schoonor of 1-1 guns, and was captured by
tho sloop of wai, Dele ware, Captain Deca
,. 'rim nhm-o historical facts wo have
gleaned fiotu Mr. Cooper's excellent Naval
lliMory of the United States. Dos. Tost.
Tho town clerk in a ceruin town, where
tho custom is, having published the bans
of matrimony between tho two persons,
was vory aptly followed by the clergyman
reading the hymn, commencing, 44 Mistak
en souls, who dream o haavon."
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.
Monday, June 24.
Mr. IIEGINS from the committee to whom
was referred the petition of contractors
on the North and West branches of tho
Pennsylvania capal, preferring certain
charges againat the board of canal com
miss'iousers, tlicir superintendents and
engineers. ' "
REPORT,
That they, soon after thci appointment
gave notice lo tho petitioners, as well as to
the canal commi'sioncrs, that they wcrs
ready to proceed with the investigation,
and to hear 6uch testimony a3 might bo of
fered in proof, or disproof of the charges
contained in the petition. Tho petitiioners
as well as the canal commissioners, attended
several primary meetings of the committee.
After tho committee had commenced the ex
amination of witnesses, the petitioners ad
dressed a communication to tho committee,
declining to appear before them or to oner
any testimony in support of tho charges
which they had preferrcd in their petition.
The committee deeming the chargos ot
so grave and serious a character that, if true,
they imperiously called upon the legislature
to correct the abuse and relieve oppression,
complained of, and that justice to the pub
lic officers, against whom such serious ac
cusations had been made, as well as to tho
petitioners, demanded that the truth or falsi
ty should be clearly established, resolved to
proceed with tho investigation, in order that
the house mifht be properly informed upon
the cubjeet, and be enabled to act under
stnndingly upon it. This course was earn
estly requested by the canal commissioners
that they might bo afforded an opportunity
of vindicating themselves and their officers
from the gravo charges which had boon
made againsllhcm.aflccting their character as
publics officers, ns well as calling in question,
their moral integrity, and that the petition
ers might also have" a lull lind fair opportu
nity of substantiating their charges if true.
The committee accordingly proceeded in.
the investigation, and devoted to it as much
time and attention as their other official du
ties would permit.
Fifteen of the petitioners appeared m 0
bedience to subprena, and wero examined,
nelhii'r.-n- v-A5 wJi ?';-Din.-:stor3,wKO auc-
ded and cross examined the witnesses. A.
full and fair opportunity was afforded tho
petitioners, and to all interested, to adduce,
evidence in proof or disproof of the char
pe',. The committee did not brin the inves
tigation to a close until the end oflast week,
and from the vnlumnious nature of On evi
dence taken, and tho short timo necessarily
allowed them for its examination, tho ses
sion of the legislature being near its close,
they are prevented from piepr.titig a min
ute and detailed report, but will merely of
fer a few brief remarks upon the charges,
and tho evidence adduced in support of
them.
Tho first chargo contained in tho petition,
is, that, 44 Since the prcsaiU board of canal
44 commissioners have come into office, their
44 engineers have refused for a vexatious
44 lpngth of time, to stake out work, and on
44 many sections still rofuic."
It appears from tho testimony, that tho
principal engineers upon the North and
Went branches, repaired to their respective
posts ns soon as practicable, after they had
been informed of their appointment and im
mediately up thoir arrival, formed their
corps of assistant ongineuM and subordin
ate? and proceeded without delay to per
form the duties enjoined upon thorn by a res
olution of the board of canal commission
ers, of the lGth of March, 1839. This
resolution embiaces a variety ol subjects in
relation to the stale of the work, completed
or in progress, to be enquired into by tho
superintendents and engineers, and repor
ted to the board, and required their wholo
timo and attention for several weeks after
they arrived oft their respective divisions.
Mr. Foster, the principal engineer upon the
Nnrtli and West branch, did not rccrivo tho
notification of his appoint-nont until the 21 st
of March, on account of tha failure of
the mails, and was at the timo in the state
of Kentucky. H hastenod with nil possible
despatch to "his division, immediately after
ho received tho nolicc, and arrived at To
wanda on the 5th of April, and wai indus
trioiiBlv and unremittingly engaged, together
with his corps, in the discharge of his offi
cial duties. No evidence w.v .given to sus
tain this chargo in tho potition, but on tho
contrary, a number of contractors proved
that the engineers always expressed a wil
lingness to stake out work, but in somo m
6tancas wero prevented from doiug so im
mediately bv tho multiplicity of their otTi
rial engagements, and the great amount of
labor which they wore roquiruu m pL-uumi.
Some lime naturally and necessarily elapsed
between the departure of tho engineers and