The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, July 28, 1838, Image 4

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    From tlio Harrisb(irg Reporter
tibVERNOWS PROCLMMTtOX.
In tho namo and liy tli4 grace
Of him, who wields tho golden mace,
To all tho friends of toleration,
I, Joseph, send this Proclamation,
Whigs, Arities, Democrat, and"all,
JIavo dosed the doors of Congress Hall, .
And homeward gone, with haggard faces,
To gain a respite frm tnc'r to,H
Or equalled down at wat'ring places.
To drown all thought of Banks and broils".
Thus brolcn up, unhorsed, disbanded,
It falls on mo to take tho ring,
To cuff tho hydra single himdeil.
To beat hira down and clip his sting, .
Como then my worthies, " toe tho mark,"
And whilst wo speak let no dog bark".
Last night whikt sitting rather late,
Just cooling off the cares of state.
Which keep me 6inco this hot month sot in,
In a muck of constant sweating,
My trusty 8amuel, faithful blackman,
Ushered in dear little S n,
Who fresh from '' town" had come express,
To tell me, o'er a printer's guess
Could spread the news both far and wide,
Tho hobby I could mount and ride;
He said the banks in grave convention',
Resolved to end their long suspension,
That they had fix'd upon a Jay.
To claim their rags and specie pay ;
Tho news would make tho folks uproarious,
Therefore the chance for mc was glorious,
To make my 'ministraHon father
This long expected stop or rather
to make the country gulls believe
Tho Banks, old Joe, could ne'er deceive,
And that tho people's interest, I
Kept close nt heart and in my eye,
That I should instantly command thcra
To pay their notes, or I'd disband them.
"The plan's a good one, don't you see it,"
" I take, dear Spaeky, and so be it."
So nowyo banks both far and near,
Off hats, draw nigh, my mandate Hear,
I now command you as you hold
Your lives, your charters oryour gold,
To pay, since you' ve resolved to do it,
Plank out your epecio and stick to it,
Kot a murmur, mind I toll you,
Pay your notes or I'll compel you ;
There is a sword hangs o'er yout heads)
And by my Jhad. I'll cut the threads
That keep It up, and let it fall
To leave you headless ono and all ;
And you infernal lawless cheats,
"Who send out shinnies, in whole sheets,
Redeem your trash, no longer sin it,
I tell you poucy up or shin it ;
who send this proclamation,
i'ull worthy of a kingly nation)
A gain I warn ye ere I ttop,
Not to let this matter drop,
When you last year tho people brav'd)
D'e mind how I your bacon saved,
If then for you I was eo bold,
You'll let me now against you scold,
particularly, when I tell you
To do vvh it your own views compel you,
This consummation brought about
Jts cause of glory who can doubt!
The sight to view will bo presented
Of banks redeeming all contented,
Shinplasters banished from the land
All thoworitofmy right hand.
What wisdom surely this denote!',
For tben illegal Treasury notes
Will bo tho only trash esteemed
11 orth taking thai is not redeemed,
No matter if I'm plainly told
In every mart they'll bring tho gold,
'Tis well enough to gull tho ninnies'
And call them still the " only shinnies."
Now, in my eye, the man's a fool,
Who don't 'lie low' 'keep dark keep cool,'
For in tho natural course of things,
Our evils all will find them wings,
And all tongues speak in commendation,
Of such a Qovcfnor'sproclamation,
And now my printers do not pause,
Nor let this hang back like the laws,
But princ and publish, fold and send it'
To thoso for whom 'tis all intended,
And that before tho lodge's minions j
Can scatter their adverse opinions,
For ten to one if they don't try
'to givo my influence tho lie,
And say the banks would all presume)
Their specie payments to resume,
Without waiting silly elves,
To let mo superscede themselves.
Given y hand, this day arid date,
Under tho mammoth 6cal of State;
6n General Porter turn the furrows,
By the Governor, TOMMY BURHOlVES.
"'And whal's a life? A weary pilgrimage,
"Whoso glory in one day doth fill the stage
With childhood, manhood, and decrepit age
And what's age? the flourishing array
Of the proud summer meadow, which to
day,
Wears its green plush', and is to-morrow
hay.
The man who takes no papers,
A Or taking, pays not wfan thtyre read
Would sell his corn to miy a "norn,"
JSnd live .on borrowed bread.'
MISCELLANEOUS.
THE WIDOW CURED j
Oil, MOIlfc THAN TUB POCTOR AT FAULT.
tIt was ia tho year 18 , but no matter, I
have tho most treacherous memory imag
inable for dates; which Quarz was at Ber
lin, you, of course, know who Quafz
was, if you do not, I'll tell you. Ho was
tho celebrated musical composer and mu
sician at tho court of Frederick the Great,
and, by tho way', taucht him the flute.
Quarz was the pupil of the famous counter-
pointist, Gasparini; Quarz, in short, was
tho man who, as ho was leaving tho orchest
ra ono night, heard a ball whistle in his ear
ticked for him by the Spanish Ambassador,
who was in love with a certain marchioness.
I can assure you tho aim was a good one,
and tho mafsfro might well bob his head.
and wink his eyes.
At the time of which I was speaking, be
fore I cot into these parenthesis, Quarz
was forty one; tall, and well made in his
person, and ol a noble and characteristic
countenance which, joined to a talent,
whose superiority noonc could dispute, gave
him free access to all societies, and caused
him to bo well received every where. He
was, among others, particularly intimate
with one Schindler, a friend of his youth,
who had followed the same studies almost
With tho same success what a blessing
was such a friend 1 In his house, after the
fatigues and adulations that every coming
day brought with it, Quarz passed his eve-
nings. At Schindler's lie sought for a
oalm to the wounds of envy and jealousy,
fortified his mind against the caprices of the
great, and, above all, from Schindler he I
was sure to meet with a tribute due to his
genius aiid praises that camo from the
heart
But death laid his cold and pitiless hand
on Schindler, and with his terrible scythe
cut that knot, which only he could sov'
er
jso record ot time remains to toll us
whether Madame Schindler " lamented
him sore." There are some sorrows over
which we aib forced to throw a veil. Per-
naps snc did, perhaps she did not sued a
tear perhaps a flood of tears. Habit and
long intimacy are mighty add powerful
things.
xet, though bchindlcr was no moro
Quarz still continued his visits; whether
from long custom, or particular affection for
his lost friend, does not appear, and the
youug widow continued to receive him her
accustomed welcome.
For a consideral time no particular oc
currence happened to interrupt their inter
views, tho motives of which seemed to be a
mutual consolation. It is only by looking
closely, and examing events with attention,
that we can discover any dimiution of their
affections for poor Schindler, but by de
-grces he faded from their memory. They
now and then spoke of him, it is true, but
less and less, till at last tney ceased to speak
of him at all. Schindler was allowed to
slumber peaceably in his caso of wood, was
quietly inurned," rcquifsccbat in paceJ"
For myself, I can perfectly understand
all this. I can see no necessity foriemain
ing inconsolable at an irreparble loss, and
can conceive no lolly greater than his or
hers had they doomed themselves to eter-
nal regret.
Tin i a. - l 1 : r r l . l . .
lYIlllal mu lump uuiiis, 11 uvui eu tuvuij',
nourisli the flame by all means ;' but when
once it is extinguished, it is a waste of
time and common' senso to trim or supply
it with" oil. There is an old French song
that runs thus :
Quand an cat mort, e'est pour fonrj temps."
Thus, as I said, Madam Schindler had
given up weeping, and as every ono should
have some occupation or other,' she be
thought herself of getting a new husband in
lieu of the old. The idea was not a bad
one. Is it not so? Wiih this view she
employed herself in repairing tho disorder
of her toilette m smiling on her visitors
in coquetting with them a little. And who
can blamo her? If you know mankind as
well as I do, you must bo aware that these
things, much as we may despise tliem, go
a great way in the world. Depend on it,
that if a woman is simple in her manucrs
and plain in hor dress, and without what
most people term' affectation or coquetry,
no ono will take the trouble of looking at her
! twice.
Madame ochindlets house underwent a
similar metamorphosis to hor own. Tho
I Venetians that had for a whole year been
carefully closed, began to Jet in tho day,
, ana were Qrapenou, wjm inw u oi
I cganco than ever. The very
furniture I
seemed to assume a new life. Her doors
opened almost of themselves V her former
friends or new acquaintances, and moro
than ono guest at a time took his seat at her
dinner table. !
Quarz was, as maybe supposed, always
welcome; and ho had this advantage, that
come when ho might she was at homo to
him.
Nothing less could be expected from so
old a friend, and no one could possibly find
fault with her for that, you will allow
une nay, in wo miusi 01 ,au umuiuicu
conversation with her amiable favourite,
Madame Schindler all at onco burst into
tears, complaining of a pain in her side and
a violent headache. Quarz was "aux petit
soins," and did and said all that might
havo been expected of him in -such a
case.
Madame Schindler went to bed and sent
for a physician. "
Well, you will say, what is there extra
ordJnary jn that? Yesterday I had a stich
;n my g;,e anj a ilca(ache, and what can
they havo to do with your aeccdoto?
Don't be impatient much. As . you
shall hear.
Quarz was seated by her bedsido when
tho doctor entered. Ho felt her pulse, and
his lips expressed, by A slight, but signifi-
cant contraction', that he entertained no very
favourable opinion of her symptoms: whilst
Quarz kept his e"ye constantly fixed on her
pale countenance, where the linger of death
seemed to have set its fatal seal. Ho was
sad and motionless, and awaited in silence
the stem decrees of heaven. But tho pa-
Uent had perceived the evil augury of the
physician's eye
"I see," said she wilh a feeble voice, "I
see, -alasl that I am doomed to die. Doctor,
I am grateful to you. I had rather know tho
tho worst, than flatter myself with a vain
delusion."
'AVell," said he, "since I must, since all
the aid of medicine is vain, I leave you,
madam." lie cast a melancholy glance at
Quarz, who was how really affected.
The patient expressed a wisli to be alone,
and Qnarz and the doctor retired to an ad
oining chamber.
Somo minutes afterwards, they were
again summoned.
Joachim," said the dying lady, address
ing Quaiz, "you perceive that I am about
to leave you. But before I quit this world
before I take my eternal rest, I nave one
favor to beg of you one only say, will
you refuse it on my death-bed?"
You may imagine the reply; Quarz did
what you or I would havo done in his place.
He promised, whatever it might be to com
ply with it.
1 hopeu it wouiu dc so, saui me wiu-
. .Ml ft, ..I ... 1 1
ow, with a voice sun leeoier, --dui uaieu
not rely on it. It is that before I die,
you should make me yours call me but
your wife. I shall then be tho happiest of
women, and have nothing lurther to wish
for."
The request was a singular one, but
Quarz had promised, and really the engage
ment bound him to nothing,, for, in a few
moments, the tie would bo broken by the
divorce of death.
He therefore consented with a good grace,
and sunt' for a notary public. The deed
was drawn up in due form, He signed it.
Tho doctor signed it as a witness. The
widow,' with a trembling hand, affixed her
signature to the paper; and all was over.
But all was not over.
"Doctorl" cried Mrs. Quarz, jumping
nimbly, and completely'dressed, out of bed."
'I am not so near the point of death as you
imagine, and have every inclination to live
long for my husband."
Now look upon the tableau. Tho aston
ishment of tho two witnesses tho notary,
wiping his spectacles, thinking his eyes' de
ceived him the doctor biting his nails at
being deceived, as well a3 the rest. Only
think of a doctor being taken inl
Quartz, who was well pleased with tho
adventure, said smilingly aside,
A goou aciress, 'laitm it l were an
author I would write a part for her."
The curtain fell. Madamo Schindler
was young and pretty, and rich besides,
From tho Cumberland Presbyterian.
ON THE MARRIAGE STATE.
To Miss . Knowing that you
are shortly to enter a garden, enclosed, and
that you are at present, a stranger to this
garden, permit an old fiiend to give you
some account of it. I have travelled evorv
part and every path; know every ptoduc-
tion of every . kind in can possibly yield-
and as my information can do you no harm.
- 1 u may uo you some goou
You know tticre is but 6ne way of en-
trance; I need hardly tell you that it is very
gay and glittering, strewed with flow
ors of every hue and fragrance, with all
that art or imagination can invent: You
may folully hopo tho scene of rapture
will nover alter, as you will not sc6 tho end
of the path when you enter it. . To somo
it proves a short ono, and to you it may
appear very different in the retrospect.
Hero, my dear girl, let mo caution yon not
to dream of perfect or perpetual bliss; if
you do, experience will show you that it
never existed on earth, save in visions or
visionary heads.
You will meet many prodntion's In this
garden, which arc charming to the oye and
pleasant to the taste: but tlicy are not all
so. liet mc just romarK mat you are car
rying into this garden ono of tho most deli
cious and delicato plants in nature I moan
good-humor. Don't drop it, or lose it, as
many havo done soon after they enter, who
seldom if ever found it again. It is a treas
ure which nothing can make up to you. .
When you get to the end of the first
walk, which lasts about thirty stops, com
monly called honey-moon path, you will
sec the garden open In a -vast variety of
views and here I must caution you against
some productions which aro nauseous and
noxions, and even fatal in tendency to the
unwary and ignorant.
There is a low, small plant, which may
bo seen in almost every path called indiffer
ence, though riot perceived at the entrance.
Yoit will always know when near this
plant, though you do not see it, by a cer
tain coldness in the air which surrounds it.
Contrary to all others it thrives in cold, and
dies in warmth. Whenever you perceive
this change your situation as soon as you
can.
In tho same path is often found that ugly
yellow flower called Jealousy, which I
wish you never to look at. Turn from it
as fast as ,you can for it has the strange
quality of tinging tho eye which boholds it
with a stain which it seldom gets rid of.
As you go in, you will meet with many
little crooked paths; but do not go into
them. I advise yon as a friend never to
attempt it; for though at tho entrance of
each, is written in large letters, 'Tn tho
right way," when you get in, nine oases
out of ten, you will find the true name to
bo Pcrversencss, and that you are in tho
wrong, and will not acKnowieuego it; this
often occasions endless dispute here; is a
source of perpetual difference, and some
times of a final separation in the garden.
Near this spot, you will meet a sturdy
Knotty plant, called obstinacy, bearing a
hard bitter fruit, which becomes fatal when
taken in large quantites. Turn from it,
avoid it as you would the plagued
Just opposite to this grows the lowly
lovely shrub Compliance, which though
not pleasant to tho palate, is salutary &i
sweet, and produces the most delicious
fruit in the garden. Never be without a
sprig of it in your hand; it it will often be
wanted as you go along, if yon do not,
you will surely repent tho want of it,
All over the garden you may find a use
ful plant called Economy. It is of a thriv
ing quality. Take a good stock of it as
you are going in. It adorns and enriclics
at the same time. Many entirely overlook
it, somo despise it, and others think they
want it. It is generally forgotten in the
gaiety and hurry in which people enter
that place, but the total want of it is com
monly paid for with bitter repentance. I
must tell you, unless both partake of it, it
will answer little end to either. You may
if you please, carry somo with you into the
garden; but it is a hundred to one, if you
do not lose it going in. This is more useful
than what you will find there for it is of
another sort. Provide yourself and part
ner with a proper quantity of it, as soon as
you can when in the place.
You obsoive, as you pass, two or thrco
paths, which run much into ono anothci
I mean Regularity, Exactness, and Neat-
nesss. Do not think, as many do, that
when onco you aie in, ypu miy bo careless
of your person and dress. Remember,
your companiou will seo some that aro not
so this difference will striko his oye, if
not offend it. Lnter thoso paths almpst as
soon as you enter tho garden; and take mv
word for it, if you do, you will nover get
out of them; once fairly in you aro iii for
life and tho worst of it is, that if you do
not nnd thorn soon, you will never find them
afterward.
Near this walk, is "found that invaluable
ihrub, Humility. This, though of no
worth in itir, yet joined together with
good qualities, Is Worth them all. It Is
never seen without being admired; and is
most admirable when not visible. ' They
say 14 virtue is Its own reward" I am cer
tain prido. is its own punishment. Fleo
from It as from contagion, which it strongly
rcscmiijes. iimiccts and corrupts. Culti
vate, with all your caro, the humblo plants
now mentioned, as tho best antidote against
this poisonous weed. ,
Allow mo here to dropn hint on thissiib
ject of cultivation, as that most probably
will bo your employment. Should you be
entrusted with tho rearing of a flower, re
member two things: first, that it. is but a
flfnvcr,, howover fair frail in its nature,
and fading- at pvery blast, and secondly,,
that it is a flower In trust, for the cultiva
tion of which you aro accountable to thp
owner of that garden.
Should you be a witness to a blast on hp
dawning beauties, oh, how your fluttering
heart will bleed wilh tenderness. Let af
fection sympathise. Your feelings may bo
conceived but not described. The young
shoot will naturally and insensibly twine
around the fibres of your frame. Should
it live and thrive, spare no pains to teach
the young productions to rise. Wend it,
Water it, ptunc it it will need them all.
Without this many weeds will grow up
and poison the very soil oji which it grows.
Remember this is a trust for which you
arc accountable to Him who gave it. That
you may bo blest with,, tho sweetest produc
tions of this garden that they may bo the
delight of your eyes, and that you and they
when tho summer of this life is over, may
be transplanted to somo happier soil, and
in immortal vigor, in perfect and permanent
felicity, is the sincere wish of your affec
tionate friend.
, GENUINE AND TRUE.
A young man who boarded at a house in
tho country, whprc were several coy dam
sels who seemed to imagine that men were
terrible creatures, whom it was an unpardon
able sin to look at, was ono foronoon accos
ted by an acquaintance, and asked what he
thought of the young ladies with whom he
boarded. He replied that they were very
shy and reserved.
"So they are," returned the other, "and
so much so, that no gentleman could get
near enough to tell the color of their eyes."
"That may be," said tho boarder quick
ly, "yet I will stake a million that I can
kiss them all three without any trouble."
"That you cannot do," cried his friend,
"it is an achievement which you nor any
other man can accomplish."
Tho other was positive, and invited his
friend to tho house to witness tho triumph.
They entered the room together, and the
three girls were all at homo sitting besida
their mother, they all looked as prim and
demure as John Rogers at the stake.
Our hero assumed a verv grave aspect,
even to dejection, and having lookod wish
fully at the clock, breathed a sigh as deep
as Algebra, and as long as a feina'e dialogue
at a street door., His singular deportment
now attracted tho attention of tho gills, who
cast their slow opening eyes upwards to his
countenance. Perceiving, the impression
he had made, ho turned to his companion
and said in a doleful voice It wants
threo minutes of the time !"
"Do you speak of dinner," said the old
lady, laying down her sewing work.
A silence onsued, during which the A'tnals
part of tho household glared at tho young
man irrepressible curiosity.
"You'll see me decently interred," said
he, turning again to his friend.
His friend was as much puzzled as any
body present, and his embarrassmont added
to the intended effect. But tho old lady
bemg no longer ablo to contain herself,
cried,
Mr. C , pray what do you speak
ofi' J
Nothing,' answ.ercd ho with a lugubrious
tono but that last night a spirit appeared un
to me! Here the girls roso to their fed
and drew near "and thp spirit gave mo
warning that I should die exactly at 12
o'clock to day and you see it wants hut half
a minpto of the time!"
The .girls turned pale, and tho hidden
sympathies wero at once awakened for the
doomed and departed one, They storif
chained to the Hpot, looking alternately (
the clock and at tho unfortunate youth ; li
then walked up to tho eldest of tho girls anj
taking her by tho hand bado her a solemn
farewell, Ho also imprinted a kiss upon
her trembling lips, which she did not resist.
He. then bado the second and third farcwtH
in the same tender, and affectionate man
ner. His object was achieved, and at tht
moment tho clock struck twelve, Hereup
on he looked around surprised and ojaculs
ted, "who would have believed that an ap
parition would tell such a lio. It was pro-
oamy ino ghost of Annanias Sannh ra,
It was somelimo before tho sober maidens
understood the joko, and when they M
they evinced no resentment,'