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I have sworn upon tlio Altai- of Coil, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over the JHlml of Mftn.wThonws Jcffercon.
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WOMAN An Extkact,.
SHow holy Woman's youth while yet
Kt3 rose with life's first dews is wet ; , '
tW'hilehopo most puro ia least confest,
BVnd all the virgin in the breast !
iO'er her whito brow, wherein thoblUo'
Transparent vein seemed proudto bear
. 'The waitn thoughts ofher licart unto
The soul so nobly placed there I ..
f O'er her white brow were richly braided
The tresses id a golden flow ;
lllut iiaikly slept tho lash that shaded
Her deep eye, on. its lids of snow.
What could that magic eye inspire!
'Its very light was a desire ;
;And each blue wandering of ita beam,
J Called forth a worship and. a dream;
I Refused abovo its wealth to close ;
jThe soft rose on hepsoftcst check i.
Had yet tho sun last smile to win,
SBut not the less each blush could speak,
How full the sweetness hived within.
O woman 1 day star of our doom.
KThy dawn our birth thy close our tomb,
)r if tho mother or tho bride.
...,1 X.SoiiA riml RUrcAtmlltlfl r
LThc dream tlili meteor thVueuenei
Still, epito of sorrow wisdom-ycars
Vnd those Fato's sternest .winners tcars-
Still clings tho yearning heart unto thee,
Still knows no wish like thoso who woo thee,
fstill in some living form essays
fo cl&srt tho bright cloud it portrays.
JtDhc day Mr. Curran said to Fattier 0'-
mty, the well known Catholic priest,
iSlievercnd Father, 1 wfsh you were
SpAnd why, Counsellor, do you wisli I
St. Peter?" asked tho Hoy. gentleman.
ccatise, Reverend Father, hi that case,
ould have tho keys of heaven, and
let me in."
y my honour and conscience, Coun-
lor". replied the Divine, "it would be
sttor fo" 'o 'hat I had the keys of the olh-
aco, for then 1 could let you out."
jSjurran enjoyed the joke, w.hicli he ad
utteu had a good deal of reason in it.
Boa officer, who had lost his hand by
tapDlSIlol, was in company whh a yuung
r . . . . ;n
Uvrovho remarked that it was a cruel ball
licit deprived mm ot Ins hanu. "-A.no-
SuSll. madam,'' said ho " for it boro a-
lour liecl must oc some ucuor, i
. 1. .ii T
Sv said a gcullenicu to a buxom lass,
Eiad a hole in the heel of her stocking;
I .... i i .. i ir: i
ihysor slieasi;eu. uccauao iuisb,
bltEQ Ihc gentleman, "I perceive it is get-
5 capital caso an Irishman was called
witness. " Did ,you see defendant
tithe deceased through the heart ?" en
o, faith, how can that bo your lord
fS responded thewitness, " for he of-
ould me Hint ho had left Ins heart in
Ireland, and itwas here in Ameriky
lb was kill."
gentleman in New York, having in-
a machine to facihtuto ladies in tho
'ffiKful practice of tight lacing, concludes
Smi co by observiug that it. will squeeze
iuHe delicate creatures into the size of
ISIL,MSB3U1&, COLUMBIA COITOTY, -PA, SATURDAY, JUNE! 30, 1S38.
From tho Farmer's Cabinet.
now to J.Wjpjtotft: i'oon ..vjw
Mr. Editor I rcad-an account I think in
tho Norwich Courier, about the year 1820,
of an experiment,! which so imptcsscd my
mind that I reviewed it a number of times,
and distinctly recollect ihe principal facts,
though tho namo of the gentleman who rela
ied them has escaped my memory. His
statements and calculations were made with
such perspicuity and accuracy, That convin
ced -no that ho was a person of intelligence
and close observation, and left.no doubt on
my mind of the coi redness oT his state
ni'ent. . '.
.Ho p'urchascd for 500 dollars, by way
of experiment, ono hundred acres of light
pitch pine land, which was considered of lit
tle value except for the wood that was on
a part of it, little, mora ..than sufficient to
build a strong, log fennco round the whole
lot. As lie resided at a distance, ho hired
all the work doncupon it by thejob.'which
enabled him to mako a more accurate esti
mation of the various expenses. , He fenced,
cleared, and burnt. over such parts as where
combustible, ."if I rcc.ollect right, lie plough
ed the whole in the spring, .and harrowed
in oals and clover-seed, but let the, scanty"
crop of oats vdccay on tho ground. The
next summer whenvthc clover was in. blos
som, ho turned it under with a deep furrow
Of the plough, and harrowed, in clover seed
again. The summer, fallowing he again
ploughed in the clover in the fall cross
ploughed it-imd sowed wheat, clover . and
timothy, and harrowed in tho seeds. The
ensuing summer ho had a crop of wheat, of
excellent quality, of between thirty and
forty bushels to the acre, He hired it har
vested, threshed an.d carried, ito market,
akincJio estimation f oi ... in
lutiyvingr-BiMMig; imittiu-jio -prospect ot a
good crop of.grass offhich, ho made no
aceou.nt. Hq. carefully stated the various
amounts expended in the, purchase and cul
tivation, calculating accurately the. interest
upon the wholejofhis advances for purchase,
labor, seeds, transportation, &c. Then he
credited the amount received for hio wheat,
which after deducting the whole amount of
expenccj including interest, he had to unite
a balance in his favor, tho exact amount I
do not recollect, and had remaining 100
acres of land fenced iri.a good state, for the
production of crops under proper manage
ment. ' .
1 exceedingly regret that I liavo not the
paper at hand, to give a more accurate ac
count in the gentleman's own words. As
there is in our country a great .quantity of
similar land, I thought perhaps; some, one
might bo benefitted by noticing my broken
recollection of tho statement. Indeed. I
have ever considered it as ono of the most
interesting agricultural experiments I have
ever met with.
At tho time it came Under my notice, I
had in the country a farm connected with a
manufactory, and observing on it a steep
gravelly side hill that had become, barren
by washing, after repeated ploughings, I
was induced, from the hints of the above
statemcntnto order early iti the spring a top
dressing of compost containing leached ash
es, and to be sowed-plentifully- with grass
seeds, white and red clover and spear grass
(PorprateUsis) which germinated freely.
The next year thq land was neatly 3 warded,
and a tolerable crop of grass, whieh I suffer
ed to decay on the ground undisturbed. The
following year the ground was well cov,ered
with a firm sward,- and yielded a fair crop
of excellent hay, and tho land appeared in
good heart, Tho following winter tho
property was sold, and subsequently I
have had no opportunity to judge of it.
A Sentiment of Franklin s. " I think
agriculture tho most honourable of all em
ployments, being tho' most independent.
The farmer has no need of popular favor,
nor of tho favor of tho great; tho success of
his crop depending only on tho blessing of
God aiul upon his honest industry."
"We'll, I think it's likely; don't tease mo
any more. Your brother ha3 married a
poor girl", ono whom I forbid him to wed,
and I wont forgive him if thoy all starve together-"
This speech was addressed to a lovely
girl scarcely cightcon, beautiful as tho lilly
that hides itself beneath the daik waters.
Sho Was parting tho silvery locks on her
father's high, handsome forehead, of which
her own was a miniature, and pleading tho
cause of her delinquent brother, who had
married in opposition to her father's will,
and, had consequently been disinherited.
Mr; Whcatly was a rich old gentleman, a
resident of lloston.- Ho Was a fat goodna
turcd old fellpw, somewhat given to mirth
and wine, and sat in Ins arm chair from
morning till night, smoking his pipe and
reading the newspapers. Sometimes a sto
ry of his own exploits in our revolutionary
battles, filled up a passing hour. He had
two children, the disobedient son, and tho
beautiful girl before spoken of. The fond
girl went 'on pleading: .
'Dear father do forgiv'o him; you don't
know what a beautiful girl ho has married,
and ' -
I think it's likely,' said the old man
'but dont teaso me, and open the' door a little,-
this plaguy room smokes so.'
'Well,' cqntinued Ellcn,1 'won't you just
see her now?,she is so good and the little
boy looks so innocent.'. - .'
Whatdid'you say?,' interrupted the fath
er, 'a boyi haveil a grandchild?' Why
Ellen, I never knew that beforc-but I think
it's likely. Well, now give mo my choco
late, and then go to your music lesson;'
Ellen'left him. The old man's heart be
gan to relent. s -
'Well,' He went on, 'Charles was alwav3
sjr-; ".v T " ""v u-ci -no-i "vu-tICg!,-
but I indulged him and ho was'ai.,'
good to his old fathor for all: but he. diso
beyed me in marrying this poor girl; yet,
as my old friend and fellow soldier, Tom
Bonner, used to say, wc must forgive. Poor
Tom! I would give all my tho old shoes I
have got, lo know whatever become of him.
If I could but find him.or ono of his chil
dren! Heaven grant they are not suffer
ing! This plaguy smoky room how my
eyes water! If I did but know who this
girl was, that my Charles has married; but
I have never inquired her name. I will
find out, and '
'I think it's likely,' said tho old man
Ellen led into the room a beautiful boy
about two years old. Ilia curly hair and
rosy checks could not but make one love
Who is that?' Saul the old
That, that is Charles' boy,' said Eellen,
throwing ono of.Iior arma around her fath
er's neck, with the other she placed the child
on his knee. The child looked up tender
ly in his face, and lisped out.
'Grand-pa what makes you cry so?" '
The old man clasped the child to his bo
som and kissed him again and again. Af
ter Ids emotion had a little subsided, ho bade
tho child tell his name. -
'Thomas Uoliner Whcatly,' said the boy,
'I am named after my grandfather?'
'Yes,' lisped tho boy, 'and he lives with
mo at .'
'Get mo my cane,' said the old man, 'and
como Ellen be quick my child.'
They started off at a quick pace, which
eoon brought them to the poor, though neat
lodging of his sons 'There he beheld his
old friend, Thonia3 Bonner, seated in oho
corner weaving baskets, while his swathed
limbs showed how unable he was to per
form the necessary tasR. , His lovely daugh
ter, the wife of Charles, was, preparing their
frugal 'meal, while Charles was outseoking
employment to support his needy family.
'It's all my fault,' sobbed tho old man, as
ho ombraced his friend, who was nearly pet
rified with amazement.
'Coine,1 said Mr. Whcatly, come. all of
yon home with me; we shall all live togeth-
er; there is plenty of room in my house for
By this time Charles had come. He ask
ed his father's forgiveness, which was free
ly gjvon and Ellon was almost mad withjoy.
.. 'Uli, liow happy wo shall be! she exclaim
ed, 'and father will love our liltlo Thomas
so, and he will be our pet, wont he father?'
'Ay,' caid' tho old man, 'I think it's very
THE DOCTOR'S MINCE PIE.
Jalap, Cathartic, Elixir,
Snug in her liquor I'll drop,
If 'tis your pleasure I'll mix her,
All tho contents of my shop.
Somo twenty years since, a certain Dr.
Physic resided in one of the interior towns
of New-Hampshire. Tho doctor was a
shrewd, penetrating man, with a deep and
almostunerring insight into the human breast
a consumatc knowledge of his profession,
and with great skill and withal, possessing
the happy facultyrjf directing contingencies
so as to result in his own individual advan
tage. Now, all this, however, paradoxical
as it may seem, was partially concealed un
der tho guise of buffoonery and ready wit.
By delicate tact and peculiar combination of
circumstances, ho had contrived to monopo
lize, (I believe this is the word,) the whole
course of practice within a district of several
iniles, sustaining the reputation of one of the
first physicians of the country, (which in
deed he was,) and throwing a, 'number of
quacks around him completely in the shades.
As a matter of course, they gradually be
came lnimical' towards him, which finally
broke out m open hostility. Things were
thus situated, when one day, this worthy
niuuiuuu ins jvosnuuue, anu set tortn on a
."visit" to a patient, and after riding a 'short
distance ho met a practitioner, Dr. Slop, from
a neighboring village. i
"Good inornin. Dr. Phyoic." .: '
"Ah ! good mornin, good mornin, Dr.
Slop." . . -VwfV
A silence ensued. ' ''
-'Well, Doctor Physic, that was a treme
dous -desperate caso that you cured the other
day Johnson'3 you kno wj , Oould'nt spare
some of your sRill as well as not, could ye?
People tell strange stories about ye and
where do ye think Dr. Burton says all your
"Most probably in my saddle bags."
"No sir, in your breeches."
"In mv breeches?"
"Are vou ccrious?"
Some explanation is here necessary. Dr.
Physic-not being a proud man, wore a pair
of buskin pantaloons, and said pants ho had
used,' perhaps half a dozen years. In com
pounding a pill he would roll it upon them
to give ita globular form, and after phlebo
tomizing, would wipe his lance upon them:
in short using them for all manner of purpo
ses, they thus in time beame completely sat
urated with all sorts of medicines, from sim
ple "Epsom salts" to tho most complicated
mixtures in tho "Pharmacoptcia." ' Hence
the idea that tho doctor's healing powers,
lay therein, was by no meanes so very shal
low. Doctor Physic was astonished, and
musing a moment, observed:
"Well sir, I won't deny but Mr. Burton
tells the truth ami if such be the case, I
pledgo my word that every partical of tal
ent and power in tho healing art which I
possess shall bo distributed among any num
ber of individuals, physicians 6f course, you
may name4 Please designate them,"
Dr. Slop recounted the names of six or
Well, please to bo at my house the fifteenth
day of tho present month, and the matter
shall bo settled." .
At tho time appointed, they were there,
in all seven besides the worthy Dr. Physic
Most country physicans arc epicures
There is somothing in thoir vocation which
conduces to crealo a relish for the "good
things of this life," inasmuch as all quacks
are pretty sure to eschew their own medi
cines, and cleave unto tlio more substantial
supporters of life, avoiding tlio course bf tliat
man who was well wished to be better.
took physic, and died. ''
At tho hour of noon the tmesis of the wor
thy doctor seated themselves' at the dinner
table. Prithee reader, if thou art a Yankee,
did'st over witness tho good cheer of our
country nabobs? the solid delicacies -which
adorn tho board of a wealthy farmer. If
thou hast, a deccription of the one in ques
tion would bo supererogatory, but verily my
stomach yearneth in contemplation of it
that huge surloin of beef that spare-rib of
pork. The second course consisted of pud
dings and pies. One of a peculiar formation,
called 'mince,' seemed to attract the peculiar
attention of 'the1 guests. There was a rich
ness, a singnlar mode of construction, winch
rendered it exquisitely agreeable to the pal
ate, and a3 there was enough of it, each par
took freely. After dinner, the bevcyNvero
provided with pipe, or Havanna, as they
chose, and seated themselves under the ca--pacious
piazza which extended in front of
the house. "
"Doctor Physic," said our old friend Slop,
"you are aware that the ostensible motive
for our visit here, is to enable you'to fulfil
your promise jn regard to that wonderful skill
of which you are possessed. I know of no
more convenient time than- the present."
, "Ay," interrupted Dr. Physic," "I agreed
to distribute my powers equally among you,
and a3 in matters which concern a com
munity's single individual expresse J, I have
concluded to admit the truth of a declaration
of one of your nunlber, that all my virtue
was in my leather breecfiei!"
It may not bes amiss to interrupt the doc
tor here, for the purpose of observing, that
instead of the leather garment which ho had
worn for a long series of ears, 'he had now
another pair, and when he came to thisndnt
in his remarks, the.cnmnanvnITv!?,i .;
"And, gentlemen," continued he, "though
extremely loth to part with, that which has
been of such signal benefit to those around
me, yet private considerations should always
succumb to the interest of the body politic.
In this view of the case, without a single
regret, I have, gentleman, divided my bree
ches equally among you, with the hope that
they may be the means of healing dissen
sions, extending our science, and conducing
to 'your individual prosperity." ' '
"Divided them amoni us?" cxclaimed"Dr.
"Aye my worthy friends, divided them a-
mong you. i hau them made into nine mince
pies, and you have eaten them for your din
"Eaten your leather breeches?" ejaculated
he, "then we arc physic-cd with a ven
Never uiu our own nostrums operate
more vigorously than tho docto.'s unique
prescription upon his medical frionds, and ho
was never afterwards troubled with impor
tunities of jokes of hisempyrical neighbors.
Steamboat Racing Anecdote. A la
dy took passage on board a steamboat at
New Orleans to go to St. Louis, but hear
ing that the Captain intended to run a race,
declined going unless assurances were giv
en that should not be the case; The mas
ter pledged his honor - to refrain from the
contest, and the boat got under way; the
rival boat pursuing soon after ' nqarcd hint
fast and the passengers becoming ' excitqd
requested him to put on mote steam, which
was refused for the reason above given.
The lady was applied to but would not
yield. She was then requested toVc'omc
on deck and view" the other boat ; (which
at tho timo was nearly alongsidcV'ahd gain
ing. Her feelings wore Immediately enlis
ted, but not succeeding as well as his ' pas
sengers desired, they auggdSteil he should
use bacon, to mako the'Wood more inflam
mable. Tho answfcr was that having pledg
ed his word not to "race, he had not pro
vided himself with tho article. " Never1
mind, captain, (said tho lady,) you have
somo on board on freight uso it use it my
dear sir: I will pay all expenses If .you beat
that boat." Charleston Mercury.