Frorh the New York Minor.
VlIE ClftliSE OF NEPTUNE.
bi Tnibcbnr i, nr.
" What, ho," cried Ncptuhc, one calm
"flight, " Death and Fire! Pluto! Jupiter!
Amphilrito ! what ho I"
Never was monarch in such a rage ; nc
Vcr'was rage sb powerful. The bluo sky
liegan to bo blackened with heavy clouds.
The winds rose; the waVes heaved 5 and
distant thunder muttered along the horizon.
The rivers and fountains poured their troub
led waters 'rhorc filriously into the ocean ;
the dolphins and sea-horses which drew
Vis chariot-shell, snoVtcd and spiashcdaftd
pricked up their ears , tho mountains and
the forests trembled ; vhal03 and sea-serpents
and other marine monsters tumbled
up in haste and terror from their profound
grottoes ; and all the tritons, nereides and
sea divinities which inhabithis Watery king
ddm, deflected abound the wrathful god 't&
know what the ducc was the matter. Even
the great deep itself gave forth a low tone
of fear at the sudden fury of its king.
"I have been robbed 1" cried tho mon
arch, stamping his foot, whereat three or
four islands were raised from the bottom to
the surface of he agitated waves. "Some
daring taiid-lubber has stolen my trident ;
but, by the beard of my 'father Saturn, 'tin
ehall feel what it is to trifle with old Nep
tune ! What, ho ! Jupiter, awake, and bear
'a hand with your thunder."
Even whilo he spoke, an earthquake
shook three quarters of tho globe, arid dis
turbed tho sleep of Jupiter himself,
'on tho summit of Olympus. There was
throughout the whole universe the Very
deuce to pay. Jupiter in rising yawned so
4oud,that several temples were shaken down,
and Juno screamed "Whaton earth is the
matter?" in such ah 'angry and shrill tdne,
that the inferior gods and goddesses could
'not help covering their ears with their hands
and making horrible faces at the discord.
Those supernaturals are nome of them re
maikablo for moderation )r sclf-contfoul,
ut when Juno onco gets her temper, she is
the very old 'Satan.
"What's tho matter ?v' exclaimed All at
'once.
After a moment's silence, a report was
received that Neptune had raised all this
"clamor because ho had lost his trident.
" Confound the fellow ! He might at
least have waited till morning," said Jupi
ter, with another yawn.
"He is an infernal old fool," said Juno.
" I will break his head with a slcdge
hammer," Said Vulcan.
"By heaven ! he shall give mo the sauV
faction of a gentleman," muttered Mars, in
a Tury.
"Cupid, my love,'' said Venus, re-tying
her nightcap, "we'll pleague him well fdr
Uiis to-morrow."
"Where is my sceptre?" cried Jtipiter,
"I'll call a council this instant. To disturb
us in this style the whole assembly of
the gods for a loss merely private ! Where
he dueo is my sceptre ?"
But the sceptre was gone. Jupiter turri
td pale with rage.
" Why, gods 1" cried he, "it is not possi
ble '. Juno my dear, look about curse that
eagle he's always in tho way when he's
not wanted look behind the throne, tiy
the Styx ! Who has dared ? All Tartary
shall stir for this! Hand me those thunder
bolts. What, ho ! my sceptre.' '
"Oh, ho!' said Venus, slyly smiling,
"how much more severely do we feel our
own los'Scs than those of others."
"Mamma," said Cupid "shall I pldguo
-Jupiter too ?"
"Be quiet) my child," said Venus.
"I really thought Jupiter had mord dig
nity," said Marsf "he Is just as furious as
'old Neptune himself."
" I wish he would be a little cardfilt how
he handles thbsd thunderbolts, though,"
whispered Venus in some alarm.
"Hang him!" said Mais, "he'll let tliem
off at nit next. Oh I if battle's the word,
I'll not be behindhand ; but, halloo what
the deuce where's ttly sword ? halloo
traitors thunder death famine and fire
who has got my sword ? Vulcan, you
black rascal!"
"No jaw," said Vulcarij
"I demand my sword," cried Marsi
"Don't bully me," said Vulcan. "But
heaven and earth!" and he turned white as
a sheet through tne soot, which begrlmmed
his face ; "some person has broken into my
shop and mado off with rny best hammer,
two anvil?, and a new pair of patent bclows.'
Venus laughed till tho tears rollud down
her checks.
"Was ever such a sc6nu!" cried she 5
"all heaven turned upside down by tltc loss
of a few paltry trifles which will be found
again, doubtlS's, In the morning."
" But, mamma, it's very curious who
could Wo'tftdlbh them," cried Cupid.
"Very, my dear; and, now I think of it,
I am glad I did not tako off my girdle last
night before I went to bed ; let ino see, it
could scarcely bo abstracted, I think, whilo
clasped round my waist ah I'
She uttered a terrible scream. The gir
dle was gone !
'Well, said Minerva, with great dignity,
'hern's a pretty kettlo offish.' At tho same
she quietly retired 1o a respectful "distance
from Jupiter, his thunderbolts, and the rest
of the highly excited assembly ; it's all ve
ry fine,' continued the grave goddess, plac
ing her fingers on hcr,nose, D. I. 0.'
It is not easy to sdy, exactly how this
would have turned out, for Mats was stamp
ing about like a raving madman ; Venus
had gone into violent hyslericks ; Vulcan,
'armed with a huge iron bar, was rushing to
and fro in desperate wrath; and Jupiter had
raised his thunderbolts high in the air, and
was just going to let fly among the crowd
promiscously, when the cry aroso that 'the
thief was taken. A fierce-lookina under
diety, the Jacob Hays 6f Olympus, walked
into the assembly, having one hand on the
thVoa't of a young man, and on the other
arm a parcel of things, which, upon being
thrown down at the foot of Jupiter's ivory
thrdttc, proving to bo tho missing articles
Juno handed up the sceptre, which her roy
al consort received with a smile; Venus
fastened on hcr'girdlc, sobbing all the while,
Vulcan received his welcome property, and
struck a tremendous blow on tho ground,
with his hammer, Which came near mashing
Juno's toes ; and Mars unsheathed his blade
with a savage grin, gave three or four ilor
ishes in the air, and returned it to the scab
bard with a violence which' made the whole
heavens ring again, Neptune's trident a-
lonc remained on the floor.
'Now, ladies and gentlemen,' said Jupl
...:.u '.u.. ji i;t.. ....!
it;i, Willi uiuiu uiuu ins uauui i;uuuiuauiu,
'you see tho folly of getting into a passion
Take example by me, and' bo always calm
and philosophical under every vicisitude.'
The gods looked at each other in silence,
and Cupid winked to his mother, and cough
ed slightly.
'lie silent, you impudent younjr scoun
drel;' said Jupiter; 'and now let us sec who
is that audacious Valet of a theif. Come
here, sir, step up, who the deuce are you?'
4 My name is Mercury,' said thd hand
some youth
And pray, Mr. Mercury, how dared ybuJ
steal my sceptre ?'
And my girdle, monster,' said Venus.
'And my sword, Wretch,' thundered Mars.
'And my new patent bellows, you rascal.'
added Vulcan.
'Ladies and gentlemen,' said the prison
er with a sweet smile, 'keep cool ; iilid you
father of men and gods, hear my story. I
was born of a very genteel family; my
grandfather was Atlas, a great landholder ;
my mother was the beautiful Main
' And who was your father ?' demanded
Juno somewhat briskly.
'Shut your fly-trap,' said Jupiter.
'My fattier is the honorable monarch of
men and gods, beform whom I have now
the mortification to stand a captive.'
'So, ho !' said Juno,
I p'dsscsscd myself of these articles,'
continued the prisoner, 'not for any desire
to retain them, but in order to recommend
myself to your notice, oh fcods J whohi I
had aii ambition to serve,'
'Yt)u are a charming fellow,' slid Jupi
ter; Juno, bo quiet; I like you, and will
employ you. You shall be my messenger,
interpreter, and cup-bearer. I present you
this winged ,,cap and these wings for your
feet. With them you may go wherever
ydu please with tho greatest celerity, aitd
be Invisiblo when you desire. You shall
be embassador and plenipotentiary, and
your first duly shall be to seek Neptune,
and return to him the trident with my com
pliments,'
But, sire, perhaps t!(o Old fellow will be
nd more indulgent than you for my jest.'
'Fear not, he shall not harm you ; make
yourself scarcb tramp, begotle !'
And Mercury, with a bound, disappeared
Old Ncplunij was in a snorting rage. Ho
had turned the ocean upside down ; he had
swopt off villages and towns, and shattered
a score cf rocky coast mountain In pieces.
The sea-gods entreated his majesty . to be
calm, and intimated that ho was only itijuf
iag his own subjects. Ho replied
Varlets and vagabonds, miitg tne my
trident l"
At length Mercury appeared, and with
thrco bows, (for Mercury had travelled and
was wonderfully polite,) returned the tri
dent, "ari'd related tho story.
Why, you desperate thief;' cried the
watery god, the brine drippling fr6m his
hoary bcatd, 'you impudent valet, Jupiter's
compliments ? that for Jupiter, you his
ambassador ? you his confidant ? you bo
hanged ! by Olympus ! you are a plebcin.'
1 tell .you vhat, old chap, said the am
bassador, 'you might 'tis well keep a 'civil
tongue in your head.'
Earthquakes and thunder ! you rascal 1'
rejoined the enraged king, if ever I catch
you "upon "my realms again, I'll give you to
shall make a bonne
bouche. for ono of my whales ; avau'nt you
ragamuffin.'
That for you !' said Mercury, snap
ping his thumb and finger under the very
h'6sc of the god, "that that that for youl'
your monsters and you may go to Pluto.
Oh, old chap, no bragging, no bullying with
mc, I'm none of your dolphins.'
Why, you unutterable son of a gun,'
cried Neptune, bursting with wrath, so help
mc Saturn, my father, if cv'er I catch you
an inch on our domain again, I'll drown you
like a blind kitten you're a Scaramouch.
Curse mo if ever I saw such a harlequin."
Oh, y'ou Vulgar 'Old fool,' said Mercury,
in the most tantalizing manner, lighting on
the edge of tho chariot, and sticking his
chin defyingly "in the faco of his enemy,
'Vou're a regular loafer, and so far from re
fraining to como myself upon your kingdom,
Fll teach mail to trdverse it as a high-road ;
I'll have it overrun with boats, ships whole
fleets. By the Styx ! I'll people it with
steamboats.'
So saying, and snapping his fingers pgain
at his foe, now altogether speechless with
rage, he leaped off into the air, and was off
in tho twinkling of an eye. Neptune duck'
cd beneath the flodd. My rich is mortal
it cannot paint his feelings
In about three minutes Mercury alighted
Phoenicia on the banks of the river
Eleutlierus, which falls into the Meditcra-
nean below the island Aradus. He there
saw a shepherd standing on the shoro con-
templaiinir some trees on tho other side of
the stream.
"What arc you looking at?" cridd Mer
cury.
"That fine fruif," answered the Shop-
herd. "I have bfeen here all my life ten
ding flocks. Everv autumn that fruit ri
pens and falls and is eaten by tho birds; and
though I behold it for ever, I can never
reach it.
'Can't yu swim?" asked the god.
'No," said tho shepherd; and if I coiild
it is too for a swimmer."
"Look lierc!" said Mercury; "just lend
me your axe
Straightway he went and cut down a tree,
chopped off the branches; hewed but tho.
trunk; constructed a pair of oars and, be
hold, a boat!
Jump in, said mercury, "don t be a-
1 ... .... : j
fraid." . .
In five minutes the shephered reached
the long-desired spot, and had soon eaten
as much as ho wished, ,
"Now," said Mbroury, "where are yod
going?
Back again to my sheep, to be s'ure,"
replied the shepherd.
"What! won t you take some fruit Iq
your wife and children? Yon can carry itih
tho boat, you know.
"La!" said the shepherd, "do tell"
"You can do more," rejoined Mercury;
"vou can take over not dnly enough for
your own wife and children, but enough to
sell to the other shepherds. You can make
them barter it for their flocks and hamlets,
and you can supply the towns and villages
of the surrounding country; you can make
yourself a rich man."
"Now, only think oftlmt!" said the shep
herd. "Heaven bless your worship,
there's laming"
"Good morning to you," cried Mercury.
"Good ntornlng to your worship," cried
the swain, who was so busily picking tho
fruit, that Mercury leaped dp" and was off,
.before he was aware of it.
"Heavens! he'sjgone!" 'said 'tho shep
herd. "That fellow's a screamer; wonder
wjio he is; but no matter, for it."
By tho time tho sun set, he hnd a dozon
loads piled up safaly on the other side of
the stream.
In n short timri tho rivers Were covered
Viihj-boats. Mercury chuckled over the
success of his plan. At length n rich Phtc
iftciari built a vessel, vith Which he deter
mined to cross to a neighbouring country.
All the gods watched tho enterprise with
interest, and Ncptiiho with indignation.
'1110 vessA was built, laiinchod, rigged,
manned, and a party of tho ovncr's friends
camd on board to put forth. It was the first
time the sea had ever been profaned by
mortal presence. X confused horror per
vaded ino deep. 1 no nereides anu tritons
shook with fear; the sea monsters rose
from their dark abysses to the surface of the
water and tumbled about in agitation; whilo
Neptune, calling around him all his fircc,
whipped up his terrified dolphins and star
tled steeds, determined 0 execute venge
ance on each oVic of tho rash mortals who
dared to intrude into his solemn dominion.
Tho adventurers put forth. They wcro
no sooner embarked than the tempest was
loosened the billows rolled in liquid
mountains the wind blow a hurricane
the frail boat was enveloped in foam, and
half-buried beneath the briny deep. Nep
tune swore great guns. At length the
clouds cleared away, the laughing; bluo
sky appeared, and tho waves subsided.
"So, he!" said Neptune, nearly out of
breath, taking off his tarpawling hat and
hanging it on one of the corners of his cha
riot; "let them put that in their pipe and
smoke it."
What was his astonishment on behol
ding the bark still floated safely 611 tho bo
som of the ocean, and that the mariners,
having furled the sails during the gale, were
now unfolding them to the gentle zephyrs
which wafted them directly on their
course.
"My eyes!" said the frowning god, "you
don't say sol We'll try you another tack,
then! Tnton3, ncieidcs, nymphs, attend!
those detestable and audacious mortals
come in spite of me; down with the intru
ders into my kingdom. Each become in
visible, each select your victim, and strike,
with your unseen power, every mother's
son of them." The unsusncctimr hldrtals
w
advanced; tho fatal, spirits surrounded the
vessel the crow and passengers were aban
doning themselves to gaiety; when lo! the
dreadful signal was givon; the curse of tho
god descended; the strength forsook their
limbs; the blood left their.checks and lips;
1. ' .1 I . .... . .
ul-.hu was in meir nearis: 1 no declc was
covcreu wnn uie oouios o t ic exnmntr
J -3
wretches, when Mercury, who had been
on a distant expedition, suddenly perceived
What was going on, darted to Jupiter with
the velocity of light, knelt and praydd for
tho dbilveranco of his proteges
I cannot undo that
which
my roval
brother has done in his
own kingdom,"
said Jupiter.
"Then, oh! ancst his hand," cried Mer
cury; "at least spare their lives," His
tears moved the omnipotent fuler of all
things.
"Bo it so," he said; "they shall not die!
let tlicnt live And the next moment Urn
winged messenger of heaven was in the
chariot of the ocean god.
"Oh ho! you havo come, old Beeswax,
havo you? but you are a little late in tho
day," cried Neptune, with a grilh smild
"Belay your jaw," replied Mercury,
"iinow mat mere is a limit even to your
power; they shall not dio It is the decree
at i . .1. ' 1 1.
of Jupiter,
"I am satisfied," said Neptune, who had
been rcgarbing the agonies of his victims;
''I am satisfied; let them live; much good
may it do them. When thuy first appear
ed on my free and untrodden billows.
thought death was their only doom; but
see there is a worse penalty. Fool! these
wretches arc praying for death to release
ihem from sufferings more than infernal
r 11 .1 ...i ..
uc uiein uve, men. inoy shall never
find that sweet icposo under my hand; but
mark me, they shall not, in after ages, in
trudo with impunity into my empire. 1
command you, spirits of the deep, to hov
er ever over tho borders of mv realm
watch the appearanco of these hardy ad
venturers; strike theril with hoirors that
shall mako death a vain hope a fruitless
prayer, Bend thojr proud souls to ac
knowledge our power, Let them feci th
presence 01 an insulted god. Laugh at
their livid lips, their blanched chcoks their
glassy and upturned eyes, their trembling
and sickning frames. Mock their groans
and add to their despair. Let that which
has been their delight become their horror,
I
worfto titan poison; and let the beverags
whirih generally inspires them with rap.
to'fcf, nnwVnnkb them faint to think of it.
Let them experiunco all tho anguish and
agony of death, without its relief, and suf
fer the tortures of Tartarus, ovc'ii surroun
ded by the luxuries of earth. JiOt their an
guish be without sympathy among each
othcrbut lot cruel laughter ring in their
ears, tilt tho scoffer, 111 his return, faVls be
neath my power. Tho fates decree that I
cannot cxehnlo them from thp sea; but I (i
can punish their unhallowed boldness. I
curse them with sea-sickness! and so bo
they cuVsed."
Mercury was about to reply, when h?
h'eard Jupiter roaring for5 a goblet of nectar,
Knowing his royal master to be somewhat
impatient in disposition, and not feeling dis
posed to take a good licking, ho was obli
ged to hasten bVick to heaven as fast as pos
sible. Jlalionalc of Seduction. Much of our
morality (prudent and right upon system)
with Vcspcct to hc first false step of wo
men leads us, as we all know, into barba
rous 'errors as to individual exception.
When from pure and confiding love that
first false step has been taken, many a
woman has been saved, in after life, from
a thousand temptations: The poor unfor
tunates who crowd our streets and thdatrcs,
havo rarely, in the fir3t instance, been cor
rupted by love, but by tho poverty and the
contagion of circumstance and'bxample,
It is a miserable cant phrase to call them
the victims of ecduclion; they have been
10 victims of hunger, of vanity, of cuiios-
ly, of evil female counsels; but tho scducts
a ttjc oi vice. It a woman lias once
really loved, tho beloved object makes an
impenetrable barrier between her and other
men; their advances terrify and revolt; sho
would rather die than bo unfaithful even to
memory. Though man loves the sex, wo
men loves only the individual; and tho more
she loves him, the more cold she is to tho
species. For the passion of woman is In
tho sentiment, the fancy, the heart. It
rarely has much to do with the coarse
mago with which boys and old men tho
xperienced and the worn out connect it.
liuhuer's Enst Maltrawtrs.
One ofitliB neatest rilarriago epigrams we
have seen, is tho following Written on tho ,
occasion of 'A mikriage between Charles
Headache and Mary WdHunan of Philadel
phia.
"Nay smile not, fimpcrhot ye ftlr,
Fdr mocking' s catching bo bewaro
In timo tako warning ,
Not the first Woiikmax'b the, sweet rylph!
'Who went well pleased to rest poor elf!
And with a Headache found herself
Irt bed next morning.
JboDc and Law. A young lawyer, who
ad long paid his court to a lady without
much advancing his suit, accused her, one
day, of" being insensible to the power of
love." "It does not follow," she archly
replied, "that I Hilt so, becauso I am not to
be won by the power of attorney."
"Forgive me," replied the suitor, "but
you should remember that all the vbtaries
of Cupid ard solicitors"
Jl Slattern. She is all grease, and I
know not what uso to put her to, but to
make a lamp of her, and run from her by
her own light, I warrant her rags and thd
tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter;
If sho lives till Dooms-day. she'll burn a
week loligb'r tltarl (he whole world.
Bravery. Greene, of the Boston Mor
ning Post, says that ono day while ho was
absent, a party of brave fellows went to his
dwelling house aud saluted tho females
within it with threo groans, but when his
youngest boy opened the door to ask them
to walk in, they all run await. They
needn't have been freightencd, for the lad
says ho didn't intend to hurl'cm.
Ciioosinoa Wife. A father being as
ked by a sober young man, how ho should
chbbsca wife, ho answered him thus-
When you sec a flocks of maids together,
run blindfold among them, and wholrfeso
over you catch, lot her bo your wife The
young man told him that if ho did so h5
might bo deceived, So you may( cried tho
old man, if your eyes wero open, fbr iri the
choice of a wife yciu must not trust your
own eyes.
A down-east paper says, "an ass is an
ass still, though you label hlrtt 'horse'' from"
the snout to tho end of his tail." Can thiaf
bu contradicted f
Transmute the most savotv food inia