The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, May 20, 1837, Image 1
. JLJUUtt .JWMA)SlMHUk. PlifllPtjIIATt . ..j!.,.... am .JtJ,,...,, ,,1 M , jj , M J ' h J ' 1 '' ' MINTED AND PUBLISHED BY JOHN S. INCIti'' - Volume B. BEOOMSBPRG, 003LTOIMA COUNTY PA. SAT AY. MAT So -tag. AlimTtrr , tub dyi.vg nor. It must td (Meet in childhood to give back The fspiiit ta its Maker, ere tho heart llalh fpown familiar with tho paths of sin, And booh to gather up its bitter fruit. I kncwa,Loy, whoso infant feet had trod 1T.. !... 1.1 : And wli-m the eighth ennic round, and culled him out i o revci in in naiu, lie turned away, And Fought his chamber, to lie down and die. 'Turns night; ho summoned hio accustomed friends, And this wise bestowed h'u laM reoitMt: ' r "Mother, I'm dying now, Tlierc'H a deep suliooation on my breast, As if some heavy hand my bosom pressed, And on my brows I feel the cold sweat stand. Say, Mother is this death! Mother, your hnndl Hero lay it on my wrist And place tho other thus, beneath my . head; , And say, sweet Mother say, whcn'I am dead, . Shall I bo niMseJ! "Never liesidc ynurkneo '' ' Shall I kneel down nt night and pray, Nor in tho morning wake, and sinj; the lay You taught to me. 4 Ohi nt tho time of prayer, 'When yon look round and see a vacant seat You will not wait then for my coming feet You 11 nri mo there. "Father, I'm going homo To that creat homey on spoke of, that blesi'd laud Where there is one bright summer, always bland, And tortures do not come. Fromfuintncss and from pain, From troubles, fears, you say I shall bofrco That sickness docs not enter thcrc,nnd wo' ! , Shall meet again. "Brother, thlllllltn cnnl I used to call my garden, where long hours Wo've stay'd to watch tho coining buds anil (lowers, Forget it not. - . Plant there some box or pine, Something that lives in winter, and will bo A Ypnlant ottering to my memory, And cull it mine. "Sister, the young rose-tree, That all tho spring lias beep pleasant care, J ust putting forth its leaves so green and fair, I give to thee; And when it rnpcllnrtin I shall be irone awuv mv clinr mumi m . ' And will you net bestow a hingle one upon my tomb, "Now, Mother, sing the tunc You sang hst night. Fin weary, nnd must sleep Who was it called my name? Nay, do not weep, You'll all come soon!' Morning spread ovci earth her rosy wings, And that meek sufferer, cold end ivory pale, Lay on bis couch asleep. Tho morning air Came through the open window, freighted with 1 ho fragrant odors of the lovely spring, He breathed it not. The laugh of passers by Jarrcil like n discord in some mournful note, Dut worried not his slumber lie was dead! 'JJiii3Ba.yjwiuiJijman, ";rrn Scene, in Tlclrtcbroolt Church. (rnoM rrusEu's .m.io.zjnj.) Bottom, I have Exrournux of sleep como over me Midsummer Night's Dream. During a short tour in the month of July 1830, 1 bccamewcathcr hound on Saturday afternoon in the pleasant littlo village of J lcklebrook, and was compelled to throw myself dn tho tender mnrrMns nf m!nn 1w-c - w -. UUJV oi mo iJig and Blunderbuss. It was dos- porately liot the sky 'pall'd in the dun ncst smoke of hell' the barometer and thermometer at variance, and on tho most 'distant terms'the result of the whole be. Ing a thunder sliower, which mifht have passcu muster with Noah for a suckinir do luge; on tho termination of which I was glad to escape from that catacomb of snit loons, saw oust, anil doiunct bach vims. ; yciopeu ty courtesy 'the best parlour .' to the moro satisfactory atmosphere of the neighbouring church yard. The onlv vis liblo tenant of this place, beside myself, was la nugc he goat, who appeared to be miz zling among tho tombs, as if endeavourimr Ito awako to companiouship the ghost of ihome departed bacholor of tho 'anti-Mai- g$nsiau club,' when percojviiig me, and jancying, porhaps, that I may bo tho said Malthus, or Miss Martinoau in unwhisnor- ablcs, .he approached with such indubitablo iJj(mptoms of hostility, that I was under thp necessity of rebutting his attacks with tho butt cud of my horsewhip. The oxturm.- Rf the church wore a charaotor of antiquity, rtvnicn ucspoivo my curiosity for a fttrtlior mvestigaiion; but irom tho lieight of tho windows on ono side, and tho dirtv onaoitv Of tho glass on tho othor, I was obliged to jj iur uiu iiucrnai survey until to-morrow. n returning to (he parlour of 'mine inn,' Lllvinrr ItlU men' in Minii. T I. 1 I hm min i JU1U ' C "I Have sworn upon (ho AHar recently vacated, was a respectably dress ed, unctuous little personage, whoso lati- tudo and longitude presented tho same ro tative proportions as those usually bestow ed a collar of braWn tho resemblance there unto beingj.atill further maintained in tho mottled lustre of his visage. This Worthy lay coiled up, like a hedgehog, in the ex treme recesses of the capacious chair, and proclaimed triumphantly through his nasal trumpet the victory ho had acllicvcd over the. cares of this world. .Being somewhat tired myself. I left him to the society of Morpheus and his empty rummer, and soon tumbled into bed, to the mutual annoyance of myself and a prolific colony of fleas, whose claim to tho title of 'industrious' was amply established on Various parts of my body corporate during the night. Hav ing taken summary vengeance on Koine score or so of these c-botlomist's. I de scended to breakfast to the tunc of the matin chimes; and in due time repaired to the church, where accommodation was nrof- t fcrcd me by a well-to-do looking family, evidently of some note in the village; from the spacious scat in baize and brass bed right, and the stalwart build of their prayer- books. Almost in a line with my locale, on the opposite side of the aisle. Was a lame aristocratic looking pew, unoccupied, save by sundry scarlet cushions of estimable plumpness, and corner pillows to match, nglit portly in dimension. The service had proceeded to tho end of the first lesson, and I was speculating with myself to what magnate of the land this luxurious chanel ease might appertain, when a bustle in tho iiislc immediately leading to it interrupted my cogitations, and lo! "Like some infernal demon sent lied from his penal element. To plaguo and to pollute tho air" or, rather, like a twelve-inch globe, in Mlamo coloured taffeta,' appeared the bur nished Irontispicce of the very worthy whom I left snoring on the precious evening in the Pig and Blunderbuss. That ho was a stranger,' was evident from the innuirim? glances he shot off in quest of a seat; yet nobody 'took linn in. Either the news in the immediate vicinity were already occu pied, or the proprietors of any chance va cancics manifested no great alacrity in seeking a nearer contact with this little is nis fatuus. In this dilemma his eve at leligth lighted on the gorgeus vacuum be ... lore mentioned: and, cntcrinir with Dame Nature, a charitable abhorrence for such a slate, he made for the open door, and with out moro ado trundled his poggy periphery into the snuggest corner of the pew, and appropriated a brace of the well-stuffed nil lows for the especial solace of his dorsal extremities. Here he nestled like a mouse in a meal tub, and, if I mistake not. slcnt. until aroused by tho pulmonary efforts of tlio. choir and congregation in giving due effect to the old hundredth Psalm. How ever, at tho singing he slood up; and, mote- over, paid decorous observanco to the es lablished ritual during tho communion ser Vice, and the succeeding psalm. But scarcely had tho latter 'tumult dwindled lo a calm,' ere his loins were again consigned to me soothing embraces of cushion and pillow his hands, linked together, reposed m allectionate iniardianshw on i.:s r,m,,0 diaphragm; his lobster-like eye-balls 'paled tlioir mcllectual fires' tho lids flickered like an expiring rush-light and he gradu ally merged into a state of total oblivion with tho startling text, 'Awake, thou that slcepcsl,' for his lullaby. In spite of the zeal and olonuoncc of the preacher, which were of no common order. I could not nro vent my attention ever and anon sworvinir irom tlio subject ol the discourse lo tho in sensate lump of mortality in the opposite ......... " paw; more especially as tho recollection nf his last night's naaal powers bogat a nerv ous approhcniion losta similar performance should subject his present untimely eclipse lo a public rebuko irom tho pulpit. My anxiety, howovor, on this hoad was speedily diverted to an objoct which threat- i . . ened an interruption of more formidable" t - . laractcr. In pmiRommn nf lhAavi.nQD . r, cf Cod, eternal hostility To cvrfy Arm of heat of thc-wcathcr, some of the doors of the church were necessarily left open du ring tlio service. Now, whether' it was thai he only meditated a retreat from the lorvour of the noon-day sun. or that lie was compelled to seek the shelter qf the sacred cdiiice irom the wanton annoyances nf'rm. tain profane loiterers in tlio church yard, I Know not; but certain it is that mv boardnl enemy of the previous evening, the he goat ueiorc noticed, made Ins appearance in the porcli, immediately within mv ken: nnd after executing a prefatory pas scul, not strictly of the Tagliatii school, ho gradually insinuated liimsclf through the aisle, until ne came directly opposite to the onen now occupied by the unconscious contemner of llio next. Here he planted himself, and deliberately surveyed our slenuigjiero with a curious attention. NamraUsts. learned in the domestic ccniinmv nf thro n:i ..j vi mvBu utmiiaia, assert that they are, for the most part, of a ncauiong disposition, and much given to warAirc among themselves; and, moreover, that their signal for battle is invariably con veyed by three nods of the head. How Air this is worthy of credit, I am unable to vcr ify beyond the instance now nnrmtimr Ilowbeit, Ihc immediate object of the goat's contemplation had by this time taken a far journey . into 'the Land of Nod.' and soon acknowledged tho attention of the animal bya bow of a lolloping profundity. Billy, as if perceiving some indefinite "symptoms of capricornity about him, answered it with a short nod of defiance; a second declension of the head met with a similar resnnnso; and the third dip had scarcely reached zero ere the challenge was accepted by tho front who, lowering his horns, rushed full butt tlirougli the doorway, ami pitched into his supposed antagonist in a style which would not nave disgraced the palmiest days of orm or uamo Uhickcn. In a few moments after 'the collision' the church was an uni versal uproar. Tho seat-door was dosed on the combatants; and our hero, thus un ceremoniously recalled to his senses, nnd n half consciousness of the scene of his de linquency, verily believed himself delivered over as a prey to the arch-fiend in nnrsnn. In the extremity of his fear lie seized one of the pillows, which he brandished as a shield, and which at tho next onset became fixed on the horns of the enemy. In this stale, an energetic kick deposited the latter in the opposite rornor of the pew, where our little man pelted him With prayer books, bibles, pillows, hymn books, linssnnks. and every other extempore pieco of ammu mlion within his reach. After which, in a paroxysm of bewilderment, he scrambled into and over some half score of seals and pews with the ability of a chimpanzee, bnlt cd like a blazing meteor tlirougli the near est doorway, and finally cfleclcd n Indn- ment in his bed-room at the Pig and Blun- (icrouss, m a state little short of insanity. On my rclurn to the inn some two linn alter tins extraordinary exhibition, I de manded of the waiter what had become of tho gontleman who had played so conspic uous a part in it, and learned that ho had not yet left his apartment. Considering .i . . . ,. . & mo siaio oi oxcitejnent in which he must 1. l ... "a,u uiuuiuu ii, ting seemed tome some what odd; and I could not help onlerlainiinr vagup conjectures that a sense of shamo, consequent on his recent expose, had driven him to commit some act of desperation on his own person. Howovor as I had no right-to meddle with tho affairs of a perfect stranger, I suppressed my suspicions, and paid my respects to a rump-steak and natr- num of port, with tho orthodox zeal of a truo JJluo briar. At lciurlh. as the ovonimr closed in, and I, sat ruminating on tho past occurrence of tho day, my former nnxietios returned; and learnmsr from the waiter that tho gentleman was still in his bed-room, and had not yet ordered dinner, I vontured to suggest (o that functionary llio propriety of ascertaining tho roal stale of tho ease by a personal application at tho door of tho said dormitory. In this oxpedition I ofl'ered tn bear him company, and be alonercsponsi- ,1,. . , . , 1 ble for thus violating .be privacy f the re- r Tyranny ocr the Mind of iah. I clusc inight have spared myself this w.uiBuijcicrurraiion ior no soon- J T , , , . .v oiuwuui, iiiu aparKiuiKCIiam er had we reached the chamber and the paigrie, the foaming, beer, the exhilerating car of my companion approached the kev- ! r.., , , nauii - - . j hole, than the listening contraction of his face dilated to a most expansive self-lauda- tory grin, as ho exclaimed) 'I'm blowed if i didn t so he s. at it again, shoring away like a bass-viol. I never see no sich a var mint for sleeping as that 'ere chap in all my born days. Blest if I don't think he'd sleep in a belfry all through the king's birth day! But here come's master he'll tell ye all about the gentleman.' From the landlord 1 gathered, that the party in question had arrived by the Lon don coach some days before; and after ta king a hasty dinner, retired to bed, desi ring to be called at.dght'clock the- next morning: that, at the hour appointed, to the repeated vociferations of the water, 'Tis eight, zur,' accompanied by a furious can nonading on the door-pannel, no sort of no tice was vouch-safed by the inmate; that a forcible entry was therefore deemed expe dient, when, to the consternation of the as sembled besiegers, our little hero was dis covered Heated at the foot of the bed, bolt upright, dead asleep, and in full snore, his left arm embracing one of the pillars with most amatory zeal. In this situation he must evidently have remained throughout tho night, his candle being quite burned out, and the operation of undressino- Imv; proceeded no further than the dofiinn- 0f coat and waist-coat, one boot and stocking the boot-jack being still attached to the heel of the other boot. Tho single TTnl. lands bottom' recorded against him in the u. i i , , , . . bar-book, quashed the rising suspicion of intoxication as the cause of his -outra(s nap; although this might reasonably have -o "v been entertained from the cool manner of his informing the .waiter, who awoke him alter no gentle fashion, that 'he thought he would have his tea now, and so to bed. ns he Jolt somewhat tired from big journey. vJ ' ,t , . , "j-u.... At length, however, conviction nf tlm wl r . ' . - state of aflairs stared him in the face, and lie stammered out some incoherent anolo gics for his apparent extraordinary conduct that it had been an infirmity with him since his birth and he was constantly be ing betrayed by it into the most awkward situations. This was all the landlord knew of him; but connected as it was with his luckless contretcmpts in tho church, it be gat an interest about him, which determin ed inc on taking the earliest opportunity of making his acquaintance, and ascertain ing a littlo moro of his history. On de scending to my breakfast the next morning, I di&covcrcd, to my mortification, that he had contrived to get the start of me, and was oil' again by the London coach a ticket which had escaped from his carnct bag being the only clue to the mysteries of tne 'local habitation and tho name' of this scion of the 'Seven Sound Sleepers:' and M Juoli allordcd the satisfactory evidence of uiesaid bag belonging to 'S. B. passenger.' KOGEK. TO YOUNG MEN. You are now in the sprinir season of life. As you sow so will you reap. Tho world surrounds you with its thousand temptations. Snares are on every side, for vour swift destruction. You laugh at the thought of danger, l ou think it innocent to drink and bo merry. So have hundreds beforo you. who have gone early to a drunkard's irrave. Neither health, nor character, nor friends, wore of any avail lo save them. They vio lated tho law of their nature, thev subiected thomsclves to the law of stimulus, & made their destruction sure. Wo would abridge you in no innocont pleasures. We arc not gloomy ascetics. Temperance and gloom have no congeniality. The gloomy man is tho man of vice : the young man with a broken constitution ; a vitiated, crnawimr ap petite ; a torturing conscience; who wears perhaps a cheerful countenance in tho riot ous circle, but who tossos to and fro upon ins bed in severest agony 'I was called." v.aim.iui, --uiu nanny raKO, yet at the very moment I envied the peace and I comfort of a dog!" Your greatest foes"are t ia r,ma r nll.l,l nu .. , gin, the dark powerful brandy, will waste your time, steal your property, ruiii your health, cnfccble"your Understandings, des troy your characters, fill the hearts of your friends with shame and confusion, & bring your never-dying souls to eternal ruin. O, then, raise tho banner of abstinence forever; Come and co-opcrele with patridts & states men; with physicians arid divines, with the respected of every name and class in deliver ing your country from the most cruel bon dage, and save yourselves from the snare of the fowler. Do you say you will not unite in the tee-total pledge, because you have signdd the other? But what if the other fails to save you? What if it fails in accomplishing irs object in the world? "Will you be wise? Will not thousands point at you the finger of derision? 0, bo consistent. No intoxicating drink is needful or useful, or even safe for you. Abandon the whole, then, forever, and by your independence and firmness raise a barrier which shall forever prevent the flow of the accursed stream of intemperance by you to all future generations. ORIGIN OF GENIUS. Columbus was the son of a weaver and a weaver himself; Rabelais son of an apothe cary ; Claude Lorranc was bred a pastry cookj Moehersonof a tapestry maker; Corvaritcs served as a common soldier; Homer waa a beggar; Ilesiod was the son of a small farmer; Demosthenes of a cutler; Terence was a siavc; Ktchardson was a nrintni-. ni."..- Cromwell the snnr, 1,. ,t. . """""""i nowarn an apprentice to a grocer; Benjamin Franklin a printer; Doct. Thomas Bishnn V,f Wn.n. son of a lihendraper: Daniel Defoe was a -.w.U41,l,1, uaiuvi ieioe was a hosier, and the son of a butcher; Whitcficld son of an inn-kcepcrat Gloucester; Cloudeslv anovei, rear admiral of England, was an ar). prentice to a shoemaker, and nlW,.,.,,.,?., - cabin boy; Bishop Prideaux worked in thd """"i' hjucuux worKed in thd kitchen ntlvofm' pil. n , w ""u, arumai wolsey son of a butcher; Ferguson a shepherd- iiuunr was a peasant; Thomas Paino sort of a staymakcrat Thetford; Dean Tucker was the son ofa farmer in Cardiganshire and performed his journeys to Oxford on foot; Edmund llalley the son ofa soap boiler at Shoreditch; Joseph Hall bishop of Norwich, son ofa farmerat Ashby in Zouoh; Hogartli was put apprentice to an cnpravernfnAwfnr pots; Doctor Mountain, bishop of Durham, was the son ofa beggar; Lucianofa statuary; Virgil ofa potter; Horace ofa shop-keeper Plantusabakcr; Shakspeareofa wnnisr.-mlnr. Milton ofa money scrivener; Cowley, son ui unauw; oamucusutlcr of a farmer; Ben Johnson worked sometime as a bricklayer; Robert Bums was aploughman in Ayrshire Thomas Chattcrton, ofa Sexton of Radclifl' Church, Bristol; Thomas Grayof a scriven er; Matthew Prior, the son of a joiner in London; Kirk White Theson of a butcher at Nottingham; Bloomfield and Giflbrd were shoemakers; Person son ofa parish clerk. Jialhcr severe. An eastern editor in al luding to a rival town says "thai it (akes several of their pigs to pull up a blade of grass; that they are so poor, tho foremost seizes the spear in his mouth, tho hnlnnen having taken each other by the tail, when they all give a pull, a stronff null. nn,l pull altogether; and if it breaks; the whole tumble to tho ground, for want of strength to support themselves!" It must takc thrce or four such pigs to make a shadow. Somo amusing scenes havo occurred du ring the lato pressure at New York. One has been related to us. An nflir- nf bank called at tho store ofa merchant, and' politely miormed him that he had nver,lm.. his account fivd thousand dollars, "Well, I know that," Was tho ronlv: "and wlmt'n the necessity of borinir me about it! WW not drop tho subjoct, altogether, and servo mo as I do you? I don't co to vnn when I havo that amount in your institution, and say 'Mr. President, I have got 85,000 in your bank.' Such statements arc useless, any way. Good morning!"