VOL. 5.
THE CENTRAL PRESS
PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, AT
BELLEFONTE. PA.,
a. G. KURTZ & J. H. STOVER,
On the following Terms : •
ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS, a year,
which must be paid in advance or no paper will be
sent from this office. No sub :;ription received for
a less period than six months.
Rates of Advertising.
The following are our terms of advertising, which
will be strictly adhered to :
One square (10 lines) three insertions . $1 On
Every subsequent insertion,
Auditors Notices,
Administrator and Executors' Notices, . 1 75
Notice of. Applicants for License, . . . 100
Notices for Strays,. . . . . . . 1 00
Merchants, (4 squares) by the year, . 10 00
Grocers l . . 10 00
Merchant Tailors, by the year,. . . 800
Mechanics' and Professional ards, by y. 5 00
Standing advs., one column, per year, 50 00
Half Column, (standing,)
Quarter Column, l5 00
AI 'ALLISTER & BEAVER,
Attorneys at Law,
BELLEFONTE PA
Feb. 11, '59.-ly.
W M. P. WILSON,
ATTORNEY AT LA W,
BELLEEONTS, PENN'A
Office on Allegheny street, in the new building
near the Diamond, next door above Green's Drug
tore. Sep. .Id, '5 p•
'WILLIAM A WALLACE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
CLEARFIELD, PA
Will visit Bellefonte • professionally, when spe.
wially retained in connection with resident coun•
ay '42,
BLANCHARD,
E.M. ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BELLEFONTE, PI,
Office in High street, in the building formerly
,occupied by Hon. James Burnside, deceased. He
respectfully offers his professional services to the
people of Centre county. [Dec 15'59]
O FURST,
A.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
BELLEFONTE, PENN
Will practice in the several Courts of Centre and
Clinton counties. All legal business entrusted to
lie care will receive prompt attention.
Ofli , :!e in the North West corner of - the Diamond.
Jan. 31, 'GO.
D R. REUBE HUNTER,
FORMERLY OF BOALSBURG,
/enders his professional services to the eitizens'of
Aileshurg and viciuiil. Office. front room of house
occupied by James Brown, References, Dr. Ben -
.;inmin J. Berry, lion. Geo. Boal, lion. John ilas
tan. Cco. Jack, Esq., J. 11. Hahn, Esq.
Jan. 31, '62.—ly.
• •
D. WING ATE.
• I:ESIDEN 7' DE XTIST.
Of and reshlenee on the North-eastern corner
at the public square, near the Court House.
Will be found at his office except two weel:s in
vach month, commenceing on the Hirst Monday of
each month, when he will be filling professional
engagements elsewhere. Bellefonte, Oct. 15, 1858
MONTGOMEY would most respectfully in
J. form the public that he will continues to
arryon the Tailoring and Clothing business at
,e eta stand, on the south corner of Brokerhoffs
ow, - where ho is prepared to make to order, all
ids of Clothing in the neatest and most fashion
e styles.
le keeps on hand a large variety of CLOTHS
S.SIMERS , and VESTINUS of the latest and
approved pattern.
t his establishment READY-MADE CLOT 11-0
0 of every description may be found, which he
low selling at reduced prices. Ile returns his
sere thanks' for the liberal share of patronage
stowed hy the public, and by strict attention to
,usiness be hopes to receive increased favors.
Bellefonte, Jan. sth. —ly
B OOK STORE.
GEO. LIVINGSTON,
at his well known stand' at the North Eastern cor
ner of the Public Square, Bellefonte, keeps con
stantly on hand a large assortment of
THEOLOGICAL,
jas, CLASSICAL . ,
MISCELLANEOUS I BOOK
ll S,
AND SCHOOL
Also a large variety of Blank Books and Station
ery of the very best quality. Mathematical Instru
ments Ac.
He still has the Depository of the American Sun.
day School Union, where any of their Books can
be had at catalogue prices.
Books brought to order at s small advance on
city prices. Mar. 24 1 -y.
WANTED, immediately, at the Bellefonte
Foundry, 1000 lbs. old Copper and Brass,
for which the highest price will he paid.
A. HAUPT 4t CO.
June 19, '62
IRON RAILING•
The subscribers buying engaged in the
manufacturing of Iron railing for fencing yards,
and cemetry sees, would ask the public, and all
those wishing Iron fencing, Brackets, Hitching
Posts 1.; c . to give them a call at the Bellefonte
Foundry, where they will sell at very reasonable
prices.
- A. HAUPT dt Co.,
Bellefonte, July IE. '62
LIME! LIME! LIME!
The Subscribers respectfully inform the public
that they have taken theold Simpson LIME KILN,
near the Borough of Bellefonte, just below the res
idence of W. A. Thomas, where they are making
Lime of a
SUPERIOR QUALITY ,
which is acknowledged to be white and pure a:.
Plymouth Lime. All they ask is to GIVE IT A
TRIAL, and they are satisfied the purchaser will
come back again. Large quantities of Lime al
ways on hand.
JAMES BROWN.
August, S. '62.
B ANK NOTICE.
IN PURSUANCE OF THE 25tn
Section. First Article. of the amended Constitution
of the State of Pennsylvania, and the First Sectioh
of the Act of the General Assembly, passed the
First day of June, 1839, the undersigned, citizens
of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, hereby
give notice that they intend to make application
to the Legislature of said State, at its next session
commencing the first Tuesday of January, 1863,
for the charter of a Bank, to be located in the
borough of Bellefonte, in the county of Centre,
and State aforesaid, to be called the " BELLE
FONTE BANK," the capital stock thereof to be
One Hundred Thousand Dollars, with the privil
ege of increasing it to Two Hundred Thousand
Dollars : and the specific object for which the pro
posed Corporation is to be chartered is to transact
the usual and legitimate business of a Bank of
Issue, Discount, Deposit and Exchange.
H. BROCKERHOOF, C. T ALEXANDER,
WM. P. WILSON, JOHN IRVIN, Jr.,
ED. BLANCHARD, W. F. REYNOLDS,
D. G. BUSH, 0. M. ELDER,
D. M. WAGNER. MAY S; LOEB,
kBO. W. JACKSON, W. A. THOMAS.
R. H. DUNCAN, HOFFER BROTHERS,
AM STROHECKER, M'COY LINM & CO.,
. R. BARLOW, THOMPSON, LINN & CO.,
RVEY MANN, DANIEL RHOADS,
P. HURXTHAL, GEO. BOAL,
IN P. HARRIS, C. &J. CURTIN,
VALENTINES .35 CO.
fonte, June 27, 1862.—tf.
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0 •
Bisttlianonts frAing,
THE BACHELOR'S WAGER.
" Why don't you marry,
Joe ?"
" Marry!" was the answer,
made in the most contemptuous
manner, accompanied by a tilt
of the chair to allow his slipper
ed feet to rest comfortably on
the mantelpiece.
Yes, marry. I'm sure you
want a wife. You are making
ducks and drakes of your in
come, wasting so much in
housekeeping. Housekeeping !
The idea of any old bachelor
keeping house !"
" Why not ? Hanalah
makes me very comfortable."
" Comfortable ! Look at
this room. Everything in the
wrong place, dust an inch
thick, and not one of the pretty
fixins with which women beau
tify a room at trifling expense.
Then you fairly support Han
nah's family, if I may judge by
the quantity 01 provisions,
clothes and fuel she smuggles
out of the gate."
What ?"
Down came the chair, feet
and all, and the bachelor, who
was tall, handsome, and yet on
the bright side of forty, stood
up before his little cousin, who
was flinging home truths so
lavishly in his face.
" Fact, Joe ; I've seen her do
it. Now, a wife -would make
this housekeeping all straight.
Now, do marry, coz ; I want
you to get 'a real nice wife."
" Where is she to be forma ?"
" Well, let me see." And
the little beauty knitler brow
and looked as much puzzled as
if the name of the person pro
posed had not been on the tip
of her tongue for the last hour.
Let nie see! Oh ! I know
Meta Snow."
" What ! Meta Snow, the
most extravagant girl in the
village ? Now, if you had said
Mary Wriglit, who dresses
simply, and has her house fur
nished so neatly and plainly, I
might have consented but Me
ta Snow—why, her dresses and
bonnets would cost a fortune,
not to mention the expensive
furniture she delights in. No
chairs, sofas or curtains but em
broidered ones suit her, and
oh ! worst of all, she spends
half her time reading trashy
magazines. Meta Snow !" and
Joseph Harris sank back in
his chair utterly overpowered
with the magnitude of the very
idea.
"So Meta's extravagance is
the objection ?"
" Well, yes ; she is pretty,
intelligent, lively, accomplish
ed ; but, you know, Jennie, my
brother's experience makes me
dread an extravagant wife. I
think he owed his downfall en
tirely to Margaret's love of
jewels, fine clothes, and expen
sive furniture. I am not
mean—"
" Indeed, you are not, Joe."
" But I know 'what a weight
on a man's energies an extrav
agant wife is."
" Then, if I can prove Meta
Snow the most economical girl
in the village, and that she
spends less in one year than
Mary Wright in six months,
you will give me a new cousin
—your wife ?"
" Yes, but I'll bet a
dozen pair of kid gloves and a
new bracelet against a smoking
cap—mine, you know, is very
shabby—that you will fail."
" Done ! Come and spend
this evening with me. Good
bye."
And away went Jennie Har
ris, on " matrimonial schemes
intent."
The evening found Joe early
at his cousin's. To tell the
truth, Meta Snow's pretty face
and winning manners had won
the bachelor's heart long be
fore, but her apparently expen
sive habits frightened back the
offers on the tip of his tongue,
BELLEFONT
and he was willing enough to
pay the wager, could it be but
fairly won.
" Now, Joe," said Jennie,
meeting him at the door, " I'm
going to hide you, and have a
little talk with the girls, to
which you must listen. If you
are here I should not like to
ask all the questions I intend
to, and they might be shy of
answering." _
" Play eavestpper, Jen
nie ?"
" Exactly ; it is fair in such
a case. Hark ! The bell !
There they are ! In this closet,
.;oe !"
" But, Jennie—"
" Hush ! You win a wife or a
smoking-cap, anyhow. Go
in !"
And, with a parting push,
Jennie then locked the closet
door.
Joe, forced now to comply,
sat down in the large closet, on
a stool considerately provided
for the purpose, put his eye to
a hole in the panel, and took a
survey of the visitors just en
tering. After this he, with a
shrug of his shoulders, placed
his ear where his eye had been.
The young ladies, both pret
ty, were dressed in very differ
ent styles. Meta wore a light
blue silk, with flounces, bre
telles of velvet, and a pretty
head dress of blue ribbons on
her luxuriant light hair. Ma
ry was attired in a pearl color
ed silk, made perfectly plain,
with a rich lace collar and
sleeves, and her dark hair in
simple braids, with gold head-
ed pins s at the back. .
Jennie opened her batteries
at once, ‘`
" What a pretty dress, Me-
ta !"
" Ain't it ? I made it to-
day."
" Made ?"
"Oh ! yk4:, J make all my
own dresses ; ins quite a sav
ing."
" I should think it would be,
my dressmaker's bills are enor
mous," said Mary. " I won't
have my dresses made any
where bilt in Philadelphia, and
it costs a small fortune."
"My patterns come' from
there," said Meta. " Jennie,
I am making you a head dress
like mine. Do you like it ?"
Yes, thank you, very
much."
It is niade out of the ribbon
I had on my last blue dress. I
got a receipt for renovating old
ribbons, last week, and tried it.
Iv bretelles are of the same."
I thought it was bran new,"
said Mary. " What an. eco
nomical girl you are, Meta."
Jennie tittered.
" I heard Meta called extrav
agant, to-day," she said, " come
Meta, deny the charge and
prove it false."
" I think I can, without any
vanity," said Meta. " Father
is not rich, and since my moth
er died I have learned to be
economical. I make all 'my
own clothes, bonnets, cloaks
and dresses included, and em
broider my collars and sleeves."
" What!" cried Mary ;
" those elegant collars and
sleeves you wear ? Why, I
have often said that although
mine cost me so much, they do
not compare with yours."
"It is pretty work to take
out when my hands would oth
erwise be idle," said Meta.
" See, I have one here. I will
work as I defend myself.
Then, Jennie, I make many of
father's things—his dressing
gowns, underclothes. slippers—
and embroider seats for all the
worn out chairs and scfas.
Our parlor furniture got very
shabby, and we could not af
ford to refurnish ; but the cur
tains I embroidered, and new
seats for the ottoman s, sofas
and chairs, and with some of
my tidies and a coat of varnish
here and there, ade it look
quite respectable."
" The prettiest
village !" said
Meta, the fancy articles, shades,
and all these things ?" •
" Oh, I make them, and they
cost very little, Then father
likes a good table, and I have
learned to be • quite a cook. I
put up all our preserves and
pickles, make the cake, and
provide new dishes constant
ly "
" Mercy !" cried Mary ;
" why, the preserves, pickles
and cake alone, at our house,
costs us a mint of money."
" But, Meta," said Jennie,
" how do you find time for all
this ? I was informed that you
spent half your time reading a
trashy magazine."
" Oh, Jennie, how can you
call it so, when you make it so
useful yourself?''
" 1 but repeat another's as
sertion."
" But, Meta," said Mary, " I
should think the patterns and
receipts you require for so
much work would cost a for
tune."
" They cost me three dollars
a year."
Where do you get them?'
From the trashy magazine.
My Ladies' Magazine furnish
es all this valuable information ;
and father says his three dol
lars expenditure is a clear sa
ving every year of half his
former expenses.'
Let m; out! let .me out !'
cried a voice from a closet be
hind the young ladies.
What's that ?' cried Mary
and Meta, both at once.
Only my cousin Joe. Come
out, sir !' And Jennie opened
the door.
' But what, was he doing
there ?' asked Meta.
'Eating my preserve s,' said
Jennie, giving her cousin a
pinch.
such thing,' said Joe,
frankly • I was eavesdropping,
I am ashamed to say, Miss Me
ta, forgive me for the unfound
ed charges which Jennie has
repeated. She defended you
at the time, and shut me up
here to convince me what a
mistake I had made. I take it
back ; and,' he added in a
whisper to Jennie, the bracelet
and the gloves- shall be sent
here in the morning.'
I forgive you,' said Meta,
laughing.
'Nary,' said Jennie, come
with me to the dining-room a
moment, I want to show you a
new basket I made to-day.'
Meta was following V them,
but Joe, inwardly blessing his
Cousin Jennie, took her hand
and gently detained her.
Reader, my tale is told. Joe
Harris lost his wager, and won
?Zeta for a wife. To all old
aehelors I would say, at part
in 0. •
- - - - -
Go thou, and do likewise.'
FAMILY COURTESY.—Fam
iIy intimacy should never make
brothers and sisters forget to
be polite and sympathizing to
each - other. Those who contract
thoughtless and rude habits to
wards the members of their
own family, will be rude and
th - mghtless to all the world.
But let the family intercourse
be true, tender, and affection
ate, and the manners of all uni
formly gentle and considerate,
and the number of the family
thus trained will carry into the
world and society the habits of
their childhood. They will re
quire in their associates simi
lar qualities they will not be
satisfied without mutual esteem,
and the cultivation of the best
affections, and their own char
acter will be sustained by that
faith in goodness which belongs
to a mind exercised in pure
and high thoughts.
What a poor world this
would be without women and
newspapers ! How would the
news get about.
If a man shows that he can
not be bound by oath, let him
lb,bon4id with chains and fet
WHERE IS YOUR BoY ?
We saw him last late in the
evening in the company of
very bad boys, and they each
had a segar. And now and
then some of them used very
profane language. As we look
ed at your son we wondered if
you knew where he was, and
with whom he associated.
Dear. friend, do not be so close
ly confined to your shop, office
or ledger, as to neglect that
boy. He will bring sorrow in
to your household, if you do
not bring proper parental re
straint to bear upon him, and
that very soon. Sabbath and
public school teaching can help
you, but you must do most.
OH, marry the man you love,
girls, if you can get him at all,
if he is as rich as Croesus or
poor- as Job in his fall. Pray
do not marry for pelf it will
bring your soul into a thrall
but marry the man you love,
girls, if his purse is ever so
small. Oh, never marry a fop,
girls, whether he is little or
. _ _
tall ; he will make a fool of
himself and you ; he knows
nothing well but to drawl. But
marry a sober man, girls ;
there are few left on this ball ;
and you will never rue the
day, girls, that you ever mar
ried at .all. •
COULDNT SUPPORT IT.-A
chap in Virginia was taken
psisoner by the rebels who de
manded that he should take the
oath to support the Confeder
ate Government. The fellow
said that he had taken a good
many big oaths in his day, but
he couldnt even support his
own family, and to swear to
support the Confederate gov
ernment was taller swearing
than lie dare do.
A HARD HEADED BUTCHER.
—The Fitchburg Reveille says
that Charles Burrell, a butcher,
jumped in front of the locomo
tive at Ashburnham Junction,
and his head struck one of the
brass cylinder heads of the en
gine with such force as to make
a dent two inches square in the
cylinder.—Burrells head is cut,
but otherwise he is not much
injured. and will survive.
.To SLEEP a greater 'number
of hours than are necessary for
rest and refreshment is a vol
untary and wanton abridge
ment of life. He who sleeps
one hour a day more than
health requires, will in a life of
three score and ten years, short
en his conscious existence near
ly four years, allowing sixteen
hours to the day.
.The Indians on the Salt Lake
route are well armed with rifles
and revolvers, and are commit
ting depredations on emigrants.
Two emigrant trains were re
cently attacked at Lablett's Cut
off, 300 miles north of Salt Lake
City. Fifteen or twenty per
sons were killed.
EDSON B. OLES a well known
democratic politician of Ohio,
and a member of Congress from
the 9th and 12th Districts of that
state from 1849 to 1855, has been
sent to Fort Lafayette for dis
couraging enlistments and other
treasonable practices.
"I do not say that man will
st eal," said a witness on trial,
"but if I were a chicken I
would roost. high when he was
around."
Many young men would pay
very little regard to the church
bells, but for the thought of the
church belles.
The ringleaders of the world
—the young ladies who lead
their lovers on by hopes of
marriage.
Very pure water has few fish
es in it; very clear-sighted per
sons have few acquaintances.
What we call croaking is not
always to be disregarded, there
are frogs in wells of truth.
LARGE ARMIES.
The following facts, culled from the
fields of an ancient story, may be of some
interest at the present time.
The city of Thebes had a hundred 'gates
and could send out at each gate 10,000
fighting men and 200 chariots—in all 1,000,-
000 men and 2,000 chariots.
The army of Trerah, King of Ethiopia,
consisted of 1,000,000 men and 300 char-
jots of war,
Sesotris King of Egypt, led against his
enemies 60,000 men 25,000 cavalry and 27
scythe armed chariots. 1461 B. C.
llamilicar went from Carthage and land
ed near Palermo. lie had a fleet of 2,000
ships and 3,000 small vessels and. a land
force of 300,000 men. At thc battle in
which he was defeated 150,060 were slain.
A Roman fleet, led by RegUlus against
Carthage consisted of 300 vessels, with 140,-
000 men. The Carthagenian fleet number
ed 350 vessels with 15,000 men.
At the battle of Cannve, there were of the
Romans including allies, 80,000 foot and
6,000 horse ; of the Carthagenians 40,000
foot and 18,000 horse. Of these 70,000
were slain in all, 10,000 taken prisoners ;
more than half slain.
Hannibal, during his campaign in Italy
and Spain, plundered 400 towns and de
stroyed 300,000 men.
Ninus, the Assyrian King, 2,200 years
B. C. led against the Bachtrians his army,
consisting of 1,700,000 foot 200,000 horse
and 16,000 chariots armed with scythes.
Italy, a little before llannibal's time,
was able to send into the field nearly 1,000,-
000 men.
Semiramis employed 2.000,000 men in
building mighty Babylon. She took 100,-
000 Indian prisoners at the Indus, and sunk
1,000 boats.
Sennacherib lost in a single night 155,
000 men by the destroying angel-2 Kings
10 35-37.
A short time after the taking of Babylon,
the forces of Cyrus consisted of GOO,OOO
foot, 120,000 horse, and 2000 chariots armed
with scythes.
An army of Cambyses, 50,000 strong was
buried up in the desert sands of Africa by
a South wind.
When Xerxes arrived at Thermopalae,
his land and sea forces amounted to 2,041,-
510, exclusive of servants, eunuchs, women,
• • ••- •E
; ° B3 2:10
So say ilerodotus, Plutarch and Isocrates.
the army of Artaxareses before the bat
tle of Cunaxa, amounted 1,200,000.
10,000 horses and 1,000,000 foot fell on
the fatal field of Issus.
When Jerusalem was taken by Titus,
1,101,000 perished in various ways.
The force of Darius at Arbela numbering
more than 15,000,000. The Persians lost
90,000 men in battle ; Alexander about
500 men. So says Diodurus.—Arian says
the Persians, in this battle lost 300,000; ite
Greeks 1,200.
--IP.
THE PLAGUES OF SOLDIER LIFE.-A vol
unteer with Buell's army in Tennessee,
thus writes of the annoyances that beset a
soldier from reptiles, insects and vermin :
Go out for a stroll on the mountain and
ten chances to one you are bitten by a rat
tlesnake or stung by hornets, yellow jack
ets, or bumble-bees ; taken a bath in the
river, and between snapping-turtlels, water
snakes, alligators and blood-suckers, you
have a lively time ; set down under a tree
to read or converse, and in five minutes
you nre covered with spiders, wood-ticks,
bugs, daddy long-legs ; try to sleep and
swifts swiftly traverse your body, and gal
lippers—as large as humming- Lirds—pre
sent their bills and sing their duns in your
ears with a hum as loud and shrill as the
scream of a paroquet ; and then, while you
eat or drink, flies, green, blue, and black,
buzz in your ears and mouth, blow in your
nose, fly in your victuals, and commit sui
cide by tumbling into your coffee, and are
guilty of many other like impertinences.
Yes, eating or drinking, sleeping or waking,
walking or standing, these mischievous bee
ors vex you with a pertinacity unparall
eled.
-.-
WOUNDED AND KILLED.-It takes but lit
tle space in the columns of daily papers ;
but oh what long household stories and
biographies are every one of these strange
names, we read over and forget!
"Wounded and killed !" • Some eye reads
the name to whom it is dear as life, and
some heart is struck or broken with the
blow made by the name among the list.
It is our Henry, or our James, or our
Thomas that lies with his poor broken
limbs at the hospital, or white, and still
ghastly face on the battle field. Alas ! for
eye that read ; alas ! for the hearts that
feel !
"lie was my pretty boy that I sung to
sleep so many times in my arms I" says the
poor mother, bowing in anguish that can
not be uttered. He was my brave noble
husband, the father of my little orphan
children !" sobs t!)e stricken wife. "He was
my darling brother, that I loved so, that I
was proud of," murmers the sister, amid
tears ; and so the terrible stroke falls on
homes throughout the land.
" Wounded and killed !" Every name in
that list is a lightning stroke to some heart,
and breaks like thunder over some home,
and falls a long black shadow upon some
hearthstone.
lOW 41.
Probably the reason why the way of the
transgressor is hard, is that it is so much
traveled.
The richest man on earth is but a pauper'
fed and clothed by the bounty of heaven.
A GOOD ONE.—A physician was once
called upon to tender his professionato
the wife of a recently married countryman;
who, by the way, was very little versed id
the technical terms which are used by the
medical family. The doctor having felt
the pulse and viewed the tongue of the pa
tient, together with sundry other wise
tricks, prepared a plaster, which he ordered
the husband to lay upon his wife's ...hest;
promising to call again on the f.
day. lie cam, and after
usual inquiries respecting his charge, asked
if the plaster had been applied agreeably to
his instructions.
" Sir," said the husband, with the utmost
gravity conceivable, my wife:said she bad
no chest, and, thinking it would answer
just as well, I laid it on her trunk!"
About this time we might have been
seen making tracks down the road, in a roar
of laughter.
A DUTCHMAN looking for a person by the
name of Dunn, who owed-bim a small ac
count,' asked a wag near Sweeny's eating;
house where No. 66 Chatam street was, as
he wished to find Mr. Dunn.' The wag
told him to go into Sweenv's and the first
person at the first table was the gentleman
ha was enquiring for.
The Dutchman went in, about as slow as
a jackass to a peck of oats, and this first
gentleman,' happened to be an Irishman.
Are you Dunn?' said the Dutchman.
Done ?' says Pat, by my soul, lam only
just commenced.'
QUALIFIED TO ENLIST.—Adam Mudsill
says that a lad in Medford after asking, his
father if he might enlist as a drummer 1 -' 6l',"
was told that he was not old enough.
Pooh,' said Young America, Bill Jones
has 'listed.
Well,' said the father,' Bill is eighteen
years of age, and you are only twelve,'
I should like to know what that's got to
do with it,' replied the lad, if he is older
than I be, I've licked him three times, and
can do it again and not half try.-- s im
mayn't I go V—Roston, Joit;jyff.-
VERY POOR.-A tOtKig young fellp.*l
one of our neighbor,ing.c...9untleS, not long
since, won the affections of the daughter 21
a bluff, honest Dutchman of some wealth.
On asking the old man for her, he 0, s e
with a romantic speech about his being
poor young man,' Ya ya ' s
old man, I knows 'all about it; bu
ish a little too poor—you has neider 10
nor character.'
f-~_
I
Gen. Lew. Wallace is doing a go
among the miserable loafers wifir—"
wealy find—aw—militawyduti too twyi
These compounds of imbecility and c
ardice are put incontinently at. wn - rk on t I
fortifications, the provost guard exhibiting a
heartless disregard of their complexiani
and their jeweled hands. .
Gov. MonToN, of Indiana, has —I
proclamation exempting from the draft Ili
" people called Shakers or Quakers," b
requiring them to pay an amount of moue
which shall be deemed an equivalent f
such exemption.
WILL you 'have some catsup ?' asked a
gentleman of Aunt Priscilla, at a dinner
+Able,
_` e e, no,' she replied with a
shudder I'm fond o • ats in their place but
I should as socn think o • do siga
The gentleman did not urge her.
A countryman who got a situation at the
West-end of London, on entering a room
where there was a globe with goldfish, ex-
claimed—
Well, this is the first time I ever saw zed
herrings alive!'
Pr is a vain thing for you to stick your
finger in the water, and pulling it out look
for a hole ; it is equally vain to suppose
that, however a large space you occupy,
the world will miss you when you die.
Oh, Miss,' said a loveswain, if
,I were
but your bright star, how brightly I would
shine for you.' What a pity,' said she
musingly, that you cant shine here.' I/e--
went out directly.
Sailors are so scarce in New York that
thirty dollars per month has been offered in
several cases without effect, and vessels are
now lying in the harbor loaded, and cannot
sail for want of seamen.
---
AN intelligent farmer, being asked his
horses were well matched, replied:-" Yc
they are matched first rate ; one of them
willing to do all the work and the other
willing be should."
GEN. POPE,S Department of the Norti
West embraces Wisconsin,•lowa, Mimics
ta, Nebraska and Dakotah. His he,
quarters will be at St. Paula, Minn.
•. 40.-..
AN old maid being at a loss p
ion, made use of an onion. On the o
ing morning she found that 'all the need
had tears in their eyes.
The armed rebel steamer Yorktown
bound from Mobile to Havana, was totally
lost on the 26th of August. Crew saved .4
Why are indolent persons' beds too s
:or them ? Because they are too lo
hem.
.• 4111 Pr •
Modesty in women is like
cheek—decidedly becoming, ir
Can any one define the etact
parrow escape.
\
N
NO 5
A a