VOL. 5. THE CENTRAL PRESS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, AT BELLEFONTE. PA., a. G. KURTZ & J. H. STOVER, On the following Terms : • ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS, a year, which must be paid in advance or no paper will be sent from this office. No sub :;ription received for a less period than six months. Rates of Advertising. The following are our terms of advertising, which will be strictly adhered to : One square (10 lines) three insertions . $1 On Every subsequent insertion, Auditors Notices, Administrator and Executors' Notices, . 1 75 Notice of. Applicants for License, . . . 100 Notices for Strays,. . . . . . . 1 00 Merchants, (4 squares) by the year, . 10 00 Grocers l . . 10 00 Merchant Tailors, by the year,. . . 800 Mechanics' and Professional ards, by y. 5 00 Standing advs., one column, per year, 50 00 Half Column, (standing,) Quarter Column, l5 00 AI 'ALLISTER & BEAVER, Attorneys at Law, BELLEFONTE PA Feb. 11, '59.-ly. W M. P. WILSON, ATTORNEY AT LA W, BELLEEONTS, PENN'A Office on Allegheny street, in the new building near the Diamond, next door above Green's Drug tore. Sep. .Id, '5 p• 'WILLIAM A WALLACE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CLEARFIELD, PA Will visit Bellefonte • professionally, when spe. wially retained in connection with resident coun• ay '42, BLANCHARD, E.M. ATTORNEY AT LAW, BELLEFONTE, PI, Office in High street, in the building formerly ,occupied by Hon. James Burnside, deceased. He respectfully offers his professional services to the people of Centre county. [Dec 15'59] O FURST, A. ATTORNEY AT LAW. BELLEFONTE, PENN Will practice in the several Courts of Centre and Clinton counties. All legal business entrusted to lie care will receive prompt attention. Ofli , :!e in the North West corner of - the Diamond. Jan. 31, 'GO. D R. REUBE HUNTER, FORMERLY OF BOALSBURG, /enders his professional services to the eitizens'of Aileshurg and viciuiil. Office. front room of house occupied by James Brown, References, Dr. Ben - .;inmin J. Berry, lion. Geo. Boal, lion. John ilas tan. Cco. Jack, Esq., J. 11. Hahn, Esq. Jan. 31, '62.—ly. • • D. WING ATE. • I:ESIDEN 7' DE XTIST. Of and reshlenee on the North-eastern corner at the public square, near the Court House. Will be found at his office except two weel:s in vach month, commenceing on the Hirst Monday of each month, when he will be filling professional engagements elsewhere. Bellefonte, Oct. 15, 1858 MONTGOMEY would most respectfully in J. form the public that he will continues to arryon the Tailoring and Clothing business at ,e eta stand, on the south corner of Brokerhoffs ow, - where ho is prepared to make to order, all ids of Clothing in the neatest and most fashion e styles. le keeps on hand a large variety of CLOTHS S.SIMERS , and VESTINUS of the latest and approved pattern. t his establishment READY-MADE CLOT 11-0 0 of every description may be found, which he low selling at reduced prices. Ile returns his sere thanks' for the liberal share of patronage stowed hy the public, and by strict attention to ,usiness be hopes to receive increased favors. Bellefonte, Jan. sth. —ly B OOK STORE. GEO. LIVINGSTON, at his well known stand' at the North Eastern cor ner of the Public Square, Bellefonte, keeps con stantly on hand a large assortment of THEOLOGICAL, jas, CLASSICAL . , MISCELLANEOUS I BOOK ll S, AND SCHOOL Also a large variety of Blank Books and Station ery of the very best quality. Mathematical Instru ments Ac. He still has the Depository of the American Sun. day School Union, where any of their Books can be had at catalogue prices. Books brought to order at s small advance on city prices. Mar. 24 1 -y. WANTED, immediately, at the Bellefonte Foundry, 1000 lbs. old Copper and Brass, for which the highest price will he paid. A. HAUPT 4t CO. June 19, '62 IRON RAILING• The subscribers buying engaged in the manufacturing of Iron railing for fencing yards, and cemetry sees, would ask the public, and all those wishing Iron fencing, Brackets, Hitching Posts 1.; c . to give them a call at the Bellefonte Foundry, where they will sell at very reasonable prices. - A. HAUPT dt Co., Bellefonte, July IE. '62 LIME! LIME! LIME! The Subscribers respectfully inform the public that they have taken theold Simpson LIME KILN, near the Borough of Bellefonte, just below the res idence of W. A. Thomas, where they are making Lime of a SUPERIOR QUALITY , which is acknowledged to be white and pure a:. Plymouth Lime. All they ask is to GIVE IT A TRIAL, and they are satisfied the purchaser will come back again. Large quantities of Lime al ways on hand. JAMES BROWN. August, S. '62. B ANK NOTICE. IN PURSUANCE OF THE 25tn Section. First Article. of the amended Constitution of the State of Pennsylvania, and the First Sectioh of the Act of the General Assembly, passed the First day of June, 1839, the undersigned, citizens of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, hereby give notice that they intend to make application to the Legislature of said State, at its next session commencing the first Tuesday of January, 1863, for the charter of a Bank, to be located in the borough of Bellefonte, in the county of Centre, and State aforesaid, to be called the " BELLE FONTE BANK," the capital stock thereof to be One Hundred Thousand Dollars, with the privil ege of increasing it to Two Hundred Thousand Dollars : and the specific object for which the pro posed Corporation is to be chartered is to transact the usual and legitimate business of a Bank of Issue, Discount, Deposit and Exchange. H. BROCKERHOOF, C. T ALEXANDER, WM. P. WILSON, JOHN IRVIN, Jr., ED. BLANCHARD, W. F. REYNOLDS, D. G. BUSH, 0. M. ELDER, D. M. WAGNER. MAY S; LOEB, kBO. W. JACKSON, W. A. THOMAS. R. H. DUNCAN, HOFFER BROTHERS, AM STROHECKER, M'COY LINM & CO., . R. BARLOW, THOMPSON, LINN & CO., RVEY MANN, DANIEL RHOADS, P. HURXTHAL, GEO. BOAL, IN P. HARRIS, C. &J. CURTIN, VALENTINES .35 CO. fonte, June 27, 1862.—tf. .. . : •-•,= - , --;',,"-- ,-.- . .: - '-':'---..-- ‘‘ V Vi ', , ii ,' et' i1k, ,,, : ••- -- t --, .. - :-7-- -,- -- -_-: -- , ' - Aa 5 ,..,.. _.,. ....„,r,..„.. ‘ , e..,ir ~. eN , -,,,-,, ...;.:,,, . (7,0111......1fi I . -----,-----:=------- .:=4*-- - j''44 - kr - -i:- - . • ~ • ~.. 7 '''' -..'-., ''' ' , 77. -- -; -'''''' V ' '-- "" ' - C:;'•:; , ' /. . aI Y . ,t, '; 4 1 : ~...7 i l e - : *, ;e: - -•:' ' ' tf - ' 4- ', -, . ; !'%J!: '' s' - '•V .-. '•, '' ' -'1 . • ~, ~ , - .': ' '1'',',',,',7, , .'; ..:, ' ~.::', • A ~ ....„, v , ( ay ; .rg f :Tit , A . '''' • ,2,------ s ,„:,,,,'''' .. ' :,.. 5 .;....'",,,: , i) . , ` ---,,, --'-- -- ' 4 , ': - .. ,1 , j------,,.: •‘ir- , *, 4 . z .,, , ,, , , ; -:,' ..,...-.,,,,,..,.. . - „ -. ......,... ,_.„ .""---- -- ...,A - ,;v .- - ~ ...;,;ed ~----.-..._, ......,.....,,p. r, ~.: ~ .i, , , ,, ,,.-.:.i . .-... ....,...-__--...-,:....,- 0 ,. , :....,,---- ---: . .. .• /. : i\ ~ i.•• • ~.. 0- \ :.."' ..' " t„,,, ...* ,- ..,..,c ~,,,, - ... ~ - ...: .2..,...- ry.r - -- - ' .. .. oc. 4 ' ' :t 4 . _ / \ -:'-' \ . 'N., \-- - , - ...„- - -,..-..: - -t' ".1 . ..., :-.1,;. ,:.< _,,-,.,,e-_-_-, ._ -- 7 -2 -:, -, ":„. - 77.. .. - ,-; -17- -':- ' - , Lli ,, , - ti E - - -=----, --- - 0 • Bisttlianonts frAing, THE BACHELOR'S WAGER. " Why don't you marry, Joe ?" " Marry!" was the answer, made in the most contemptuous manner, accompanied by a tilt of the chair to allow his slipper ed feet to rest comfortably on the mantelpiece. Yes, marry. I'm sure you want a wife. You are making ducks and drakes of your in come, wasting so much in housekeeping. Housekeeping ! The idea of any old bachelor keeping house !" " Why not ? Hanalah makes me very comfortable." " Comfortable ! Look at this room. Everything in the wrong place, dust an inch thick, and not one of the pretty fixins with which women beau tify a room at trifling expense. Then you fairly support Han nah's family, if I may judge by the quantity 01 provisions, clothes and fuel she smuggles out of the gate." What ?" Down came the chair, feet and all, and the bachelor, who was tall, handsome, and yet on the bright side of forty, stood up before his little cousin, who was flinging home truths so lavishly in his face. " Fact, Joe ; I've seen her do it. Now, a wife -would make this housekeeping all straight. Now, do marry, coz ; I want you to get 'a real nice wife." " Where is she to be forma ?" " Well, let me see." And the little beauty knitler brow and looked as much puzzled as if the name of the person pro posed had not been on the tip of her tongue for the last hour. Let nie see! Oh ! I know Meta Snow." " What ! Meta Snow, the most extravagant girl in the village ? Now, if you had said Mary Wriglit, who dresses simply, and has her house fur nished so neatly and plainly, I might have consented but Me ta Snow—why, her dresses and bonnets would cost a fortune, not to mention the expensive furniture she delights in. No chairs, sofas or curtains but em broidered ones suit her, and oh ! worst of all, she spends half her time reading trashy magazines. Meta Snow !" and Joseph Harris sank back in his chair utterly overpowered with the magnitude of the very idea. "So Meta's extravagance is the objection ?" " Well, yes ; she is pretty, intelligent, lively, accomplish ed ; but, you know, Jennie, my brother's experience makes me dread an extravagant wife. I think he owed his downfall en tirely to Margaret's love of jewels, fine clothes, and expen sive furniture. I am not mean—" " Indeed, you are not, Joe." " But I know 'what a weight on a man's energies an extrav agant wife is." " Then, if I can prove Meta Snow the most economical girl in the village, and that she spends less in one year than Mary Wright in six months, you will give me a new cousin —your wife ?" " Yes, but I'll bet a dozen pair of kid gloves and a new bracelet against a smoking cap—mine, you know, is very shabby—that you will fail." " Done ! Come and spend this evening with me. Good bye." And away went Jennie Har ris, on " matrimonial schemes intent." The evening found Joe early at his cousin's. To tell the truth, Meta Snow's pretty face and winning manners had won the bachelor's heart long be fore, but her apparently expen sive habits frightened back the offers on the tip of his tongue, BELLEFONT and he was willing enough to pay the wager, could it be but fairly won. " Now, Joe," said Jennie, meeting him at the door, " I'm going to hide you, and have a little talk with the girls, to which you must listen. If you are here I should not like to ask all the questions I intend to, and they might be shy of answering." _ " Play eavestpper, Jen nie ?" " Exactly ; it is fair in such a case. Hark ! The bell ! There they are ! In this closet, .;oe !" " But, Jennie—" " Hush ! You win a wife or a smoking-cap, anyhow. Go in !" And, with a parting push, Jennie then locked the closet door. Joe, forced now to comply, sat down in the large closet, on a stool considerately provided for the purpose, put his eye to a hole in the panel, and took a survey of the visitors just en tering. After this he, with a shrug of his shoulders, placed his ear where his eye had been. The young ladies, both pret ty, were dressed in very differ ent styles. Meta wore a light blue silk, with flounces, bre telles of velvet, and a pretty head dress of blue ribbons on her luxuriant light hair. Ma ry was attired in a pearl color ed silk, made perfectly plain, with a rich lace collar and sleeves, and her dark hair in simple braids, with gold head- ed pins s at the back. . Jennie opened her batteries at once, ‘` " What a pretty dress, Me- ta !" " Ain't it ? I made it to- day." " Made ?" "Oh ! yk4:, J make all my own dresses ; ins quite a sav ing." " I should think it would be, my dressmaker's bills are enor mous," said Mary. " I won't have my dresses made any where bilt in Philadelphia, and it costs a small fortune." "My patterns come' from there," said Meta. " Jennie, I am making you a head dress like mine. Do you like it ?" Yes, thank you, very much." It is niade out of the ribbon I had on my last blue dress. I got a receipt for renovating old ribbons, last week, and tried it. Iv bretelles are of the same." I thought it was bran new," said Mary. " What an. eco nomical girl you are, Meta." Jennie tittered. " I heard Meta called extrav agant, to-day," she said, " come Meta, deny the charge and prove it false." " I think I can, without any vanity," said Meta. " Father is not rich, and since my moth er died I have learned to be economical. I make all 'my own clothes, bonnets, cloaks and dresses included, and em broider my collars and sleeves." " What!" cried Mary ; " those elegant collars and sleeves you wear ? Why, I have often said that although mine cost me so much, they do not compare with yours." "It is pretty work to take out when my hands would oth erwise be idle," said Meta. " See, I have one here. I will work as I defend myself. Then, Jennie, I make many of father's things—his dressing gowns, underclothes. slippers— and embroider seats for all the worn out chairs and scfas. Our parlor furniture got very shabby, and we could not af ford to refurnish ; but the cur tains I embroidered, and new seats for the ottoman s, sofas and chairs, and with some of my tidies and a coat of varnish here and there, ade it look quite respectable." " The prettiest village !" said Meta, the fancy articles, shades, and all these things ?" • " Oh, I make them, and they cost very little, Then father likes a good table, and I have learned to be • quite a cook. I put up all our preserves and pickles, make the cake, and provide new dishes constant ly " " Mercy !" cried Mary ; " why, the preserves, pickles and cake alone, at our house, costs us a mint of money." " But, Meta," said Jennie, " how do you find time for all this ? I was informed that you spent half your time reading a trashy magazine." " Oh, Jennie, how can you call it so, when you make it so useful yourself?'' " 1 but repeat another's as sertion." " But, Meta," said Mary, " I should think the patterns and receipts you require for so much work would cost a for tune." " They cost me three dollars a year." Where do you get them?' From the trashy magazine. My Ladies' Magazine furnish es all this valuable information ; and father says his three dol lars expenditure is a clear sa ving every year of half his former expenses.' Let m; out! let .me out !' cried a voice from a closet be hind the young ladies. What's that ?' cried Mary and Meta, both at once. Only my cousin Joe. Come out, sir !' And Jennie opened the door. ' But what, was he doing there ?' asked Meta. 'Eating my preserve s,' said Jennie, giving her cousin a pinch. such thing,' said Joe, frankly • I was eavesdropping, I am ashamed to say, Miss Me ta, forgive me for the unfound ed charges which Jennie has repeated. She defended you at the time, and shut me up here to convince me what a mistake I had made. I take it back ; and,' he added in a whisper to Jennie, the bracelet and the gloves- shall be sent here in the morning.' I forgive you,' said Meta, laughing. 'Nary,' said Jennie, come with me to the dining-room a moment, I want to show you a new basket I made to-day.' Meta was following V them, but Joe, inwardly blessing his Cousin Jennie, took her hand and gently detained her. Reader, my tale is told. Joe Harris lost his wager, and won ?Zeta for a wife. To all old aehelors I would say, at part in 0. • - - - - - Go thou, and do likewise.' FAMILY COURTESY.—Fam iIy intimacy should never make brothers and sisters forget to be polite and sympathizing to each - other. Those who contract thoughtless and rude habits to wards the members of their own family, will be rude and th - mghtless to all the world. But let the family intercourse be true, tender, and affection ate, and the manners of all uni formly gentle and considerate, and the number of the family thus trained will carry into the world and society the habits of their childhood. They will re quire in their associates simi lar qualities they will not be satisfied without mutual esteem, and the cultivation of the best affections, and their own char acter will be sustained by that faith in goodness which belongs to a mind exercised in pure and high thoughts. What a poor world this would be without women and newspapers ! How would the news get about. If a man shows that he can not be bound by oath, let him lb,bon4id with chains and fet WHERE IS YOUR BoY ? We saw him last late in the evening in the company of very bad boys, and they each had a segar. And now and then some of them used very profane language. As we look ed at your son we wondered if you knew where he was, and with whom he associated. Dear. friend, do not be so close ly confined to your shop, office or ledger, as to neglect that boy. He will bring sorrow in to your household, if you do not bring proper parental re straint to bear upon him, and that very soon. Sabbath and public school teaching can help you, but you must do most. OH, marry the man you love, girls, if you can get him at all, if he is as rich as Croesus or poor- as Job in his fall. Pray do not marry for pelf it will bring your soul into a thrall but marry the man you love, girls, if his purse is ever so small. Oh, never marry a fop, girls, whether he is little or . _ _ tall ; he will make a fool of himself and you ; he knows nothing well but to drawl. But marry a sober man, girls ; there are few left on this ball ; and you will never rue the day, girls, that you ever mar ried at .all. • COULDNT SUPPORT IT.-A chap in Virginia was taken psisoner by the rebels who de manded that he should take the oath to support the Confeder ate Government. The fellow said that he had taken a good many big oaths in his day, but he couldnt even support his own family, and to swear to support the Confederate gov ernment was taller swearing than lie dare do. A HARD HEADED BUTCHER. —The Fitchburg Reveille says that Charles Burrell, a butcher, jumped in front of the locomo tive at Ashburnham Junction, and his head struck one of the brass cylinder heads of the en gine with such force as to make a dent two inches square in the cylinder.—Burrells head is cut, but otherwise he is not much injured. and will survive. .To SLEEP a greater 'number of hours than are necessary for rest and refreshment is a vol untary and wanton abridge ment of life. He who sleeps one hour a day more than health requires, will in a life of three score and ten years, short en his conscious existence near ly four years, allowing sixteen hours to the day. .The Indians on the Salt Lake route are well armed with rifles and revolvers, and are commit ting depredations on emigrants. Two emigrant trains were re cently attacked at Lablett's Cut off, 300 miles north of Salt Lake City. Fifteen or twenty per sons were killed. EDSON B. OLES a well known democratic politician of Ohio, and a member of Congress from the 9th and 12th Districts of that state from 1849 to 1855, has been sent to Fort Lafayette for dis couraging enlistments and other treasonable practices. "I do not say that man will st eal," said a witness on trial, "but if I were a chicken I would roost. high when he was around." Many young men would pay very little regard to the church bells, but for the thought of the church belles. The ringleaders of the world —the young ladies who lead their lovers on by hopes of marriage. Very pure water has few fish es in it; very clear-sighted per sons have few acquaintances. What we call croaking is not always to be disregarded, there are frogs in wells of truth. LARGE ARMIES. The following facts, culled from the fields of an ancient story, may be of some interest at the present time. The city of Thebes had a hundred 'gates and could send out at each gate 10,000 fighting men and 200 chariots—in all 1,000,- 000 men and 2,000 chariots. The army of Trerah, King of Ethiopia, consisted of 1,000,000 men and 300 char- jots of war, Sesotris King of Egypt, led against his enemies 60,000 men 25,000 cavalry and 27 scythe armed chariots. 1461 B. C. llamilicar went from Carthage and land ed near Palermo. lie had a fleet of 2,000 ships and 3,000 small vessels and. a land force of 300,000 men. At thc battle in which he was defeated 150,060 were slain. A Roman fleet, led by RegUlus against Carthage consisted of 300 vessels, with 140,- 000 men. The Carthagenian fleet number ed 350 vessels with 15,000 men. At the battle of Cannve, there were of the Romans including allies, 80,000 foot and 6,000 horse ; of the Carthagenians 40,000 foot and 18,000 horse. Of these 70,000 were slain in all, 10,000 taken prisoners ; more than half slain. Hannibal, during his campaign in Italy and Spain, plundered 400 towns and de stroyed 300,000 men. Ninus, the Assyrian King, 2,200 years B. C. led against the Bachtrians his army, consisting of 1,700,000 foot 200,000 horse and 16,000 chariots armed with scythes. Italy, a little before llannibal's time, was able to send into the field nearly 1,000,- 000 men. Semiramis employed 2.000,000 men in building mighty Babylon. She took 100,- 000 Indian prisoners at the Indus, and sunk 1,000 boats. Sennacherib lost in a single night 155, 000 men by the destroying angel-2 Kings 10 35-37. A short time after the taking of Babylon, the forces of Cyrus consisted of GOO,OOO foot, 120,000 horse, and 2000 chariots armed with scythes. An army of Cambyses, 50,000 strong was buried up in the desert sands of Africa by a South wind. When Xerxes arrived at Thermopalae, his land and sea forces amounted to 2,041,- 510, exclusive of servants, eunuchs, women, • • ••- •E ; ° B3 2:10 So say ilerodotus, Plutarch and Isocrates. the army of Artaxareses before the bat tle of Cunaxa, amounted 1,200,000. 10,000 horses and 1,000,000 foot fell on the fatal field of Issus. When Jerusalem was taken by Titus, 1,101,000 perished in various ways. The force of Darius at Arbela numbering more than 15,000,000. The Persians lost 90,000 men in battle ; Alexander about 500 men. So says Diodurus.—Arian says the Persians, in this battle lost 300,000; ite Greeks 1,200. --IP. THE PLAGUES OF SOLDIER LIFE.-A vol unteer with Buell's army in Tennessee, thus writes of the annoyances that beset a soldier from reptiles, insects and vermin : Go out for a stroll on the mountain and ten chances to one you are bitten by a rat tlesnake or stung by hornets, yellow jack ets, or bumble-bees ; taken a bath in the river, and between snapping-turtlels, water snakes, alligators and blood-suckers, you have a lively time ; set down under a tree to read or converse, and in five minutes you nre covered with spiders, wood-ticks, bugs, daddy long-legs ; try to sleep and swifts swiftly traverse your body, and gal lippers—as large as humming- Lirds—pre sent their bills and sing their duns in your ears with a hum as loud and shrill as the scream of a paroquet ; and then, while you eat or drink, flies, green, blue, and black, buzz in your ears and mouth, blow in your nose, fly in your victuals, and commit sui cide by tumbling into your coffee, and are guilty of many other like impertinences. Yes, eating or drinking, sleeping or waking, walking or standing, these mischievous bee ors vex you with a pertinacity unparall eled. -.- WOUNDED AND KILLED.-It takes but lit tle space in the columns of daily papers ; but oh what long household stories and biographies are every one of these strange names, we read over and forget! "Wounded and killed !" • Some eye reads the name to whom it is dear as life, and some heart is struck or broken with the blow made by the name among the list. It is our Henry, or our James, or our Thomas that lies with his poor broken limbs at the hospital, or white, and still ghastly face on the battle field. Alas ! for eye that read ; alas ! for the hearts that feel ! "lie was my pretty boy that I sung to sleep so many times in my arms I" says the poor mother, bowing in anguish that can not be uttered. He was my brave noble husband, the father of my little orphan children !" sobs t!)e stricken wife. "He was my darling brother, that I loved so, that I was proud of," murmers the sister, amid tears ; and so the terrible stroke falls on homes throughout the land. " Wounded and killed !" Every name in that list is a lightning stroke to some heart, and breaks like thunder over some home, and falls a long black shadow upon some hearthstone. lOW 41. Probably the reason why the way of the transgressor is hard, is that it is so much traveled. The richest man on earth is but a pauper' fed and clothed by the bounty of heaven. A GOOD ONE.—A physician was once called upon to tender his professionato the wife of a recently married countryman; who, by the way, was very little versed id the technical terms which are used by the medical family. The doctor having felt the pulse and viewed the tongue of the pa tient, together with sundry other wise tricks, prepared a plaster, which he ordered the husband to lay upon his wife's ...hest; promising to call again on the f. day. lie cam, and after usual inquiries respecting his charge, asked if the plaster had been applied agreeably to his instructions. " Sir," said the husband, with the utmost gravity conceivable, my wife:said she bad no chest, and, thinking it would answer just as well, I laid it on her trunk!" About this time we might have been seen making tracks down the road, in a roar of laughter. A DUTCHMAN looking for a person by the name of Dunn, who owed-bim a small ac count,' asked a wag near Sweeny's eating; house where No. 66 Chatam street was, as he wished to find Mr. Dunn.' The wag told him to go into Sweenv's and the first person at the first table was the gentleman ha was enquiring for. The Dutchman went in, about as slow as a jackass to a peck of oats, and this first gentleman,' happened to be an Irishman. Are you Dunn?' said the Dutchman. Done ?' says Pat, by my soul, lam only just commenced.' QUALIFIED TO ENLIST.—Adam Mudsill says that a lad in Medford after asking, his father if he might enlist as a drummer 1 -' 6l'," was told that he was not old enough. Pooh,' said Young America, Bill Jones has 'listed. Well,' said the father,' Bill is eighteen years of age, and you are only twelve,' I should like to know what that's got to do with it,' replied the lad, if he is older than I be, I've licked him three times, and can do it again and not half try.-- s im mayn't I go V—Roston, Joit;jyff.- VERY POOR.-A tOtKig young fellp.*l one of our neighbor,ing.c...9untleS, not long since, won the affections of the daughter 21 a bluff, honest Dutchman of some wealth. On asking the old man for her, he 0, s e with a romantic speech about his being poor young man,' Ya ya ' s old man, I knows 'all about it; bu ish a little too poor—you has neider 10 nor character.' f-~_ I Gen. Lew. Wallace is doing a go among the miserable loafers wifir—" wealy find—aw—militawyduti too twyi These compounds of imbecility and c ardice are put incontinently at. wn - rk on t I fortifications, the provost guard exhibiting a heartless disregard of their complexiani and their jeweled hands. . Gov. MonToN, of Indiana, has —I proclamation exempting from the draft Ili " people called Shakers or Quakers," b requiring them to pay an amount of moue which shall be deemed an equivalent f such exemption. WILL you 'have some catsup ?' asked a gentleman of Aunt Priscilla, at a dinner +Able, _` e e, no,' she replied with a shudder I'm fond o • ats in their place but I should as socn think o • do siga The gentleman did not urge her. A countryman who got a situation at the West-end of London, on entering a room where there was a globe with goldfish, ex- claimed— Well, this is the first time I ever saw zed herrings alive!' Pr is a vain thing for you to stick your finger in the water, and pulling it out look for a hole ; it is equally vain to suppose that, however a large space you occupy, the world will miss you when you die. Oh, Miss,' said a loveswain, if ,I were but your bright star, how brightly I would shine for you.' What a pity,' said she musingly, that you cant shine here.' I/e-- went out directly. Sailors are so scarce in New York that thirty dollars per month has been offered in several cases without effect, and vessels are now lying in the harbor loaded, and cannot sail for want of seamen. --- AN intelligent farmer, being asked his horses were well matched, replied:-" Yc they are matched first rate ; one of them willing to do all the work and the other willing be should." GEN. POPE,S Department of the Norti West embraces Wisconsin,•lowa, Mimics ta, Nebraska and Dakotah. His he, quarters will be at St. Paula, Minn. •. 40.-.. AN old maid being at a loss p ion, made use of an onion. On the o ing morning she found that 'all the need had tears in their eyes. The armed rebel steamer Yorktown bound from Mobile to Havana, was totally lost on the 26th of August. Crew saved .4 Why are indolent persons' beds too s :or them ? Because they are too lo hem. .• 4111 Pr • Modesty in women is like cheek—decidedly becoming, ir Can any one define the etact parrow escape. \ N NO 5 A a