ADVERTISING RATES
St. I me. 3 mon. 6 mo 4. 1 vr.
1.60 1.75 3.60 6.00 10.10
3.00 3.00 5.00 10.00 10.00
4.60 5.00 8.07 15.00 900
8.00 15.07 25.01 40.03
10.01 23.07 35.00 50.00
15.03 52.50 50.00 80.00
25.00 50.00 KW 150.00
?ne Square
.I:l7agquUarerea
Six Squares, .
quarter
On. Column
Professional Card. 111.00 per line per yo.r.
Administrator's and AndUpr's Notices, 13.00.
City Notice., 20 cents penine let Innertion, 15 crate per
Tine each aubsequeritlonertlon.
Ten lines agate conatlinte &quire.
ROBERT IREDELL, Jn., IT'uniasetEn,
I=
Life Enottran cc
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
01 THE WORLD
NATIONAL
LIFE INSURANCE CO.,
MEM
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
=1
CASH CAPITAL,
BRANCH OFFICE PHILADELPHIA
OFFICERS
CLARENCE IL CLARK, Philadelphia, PreHideut. .
JAY COOKE, Philadelphia, Chairman Filmier aud Et
oculive Com.
111CNRY D. COOKE, Wanhinalon, Ylrr•Prrddeut.
EMERSON NV. I'EET, Philadelphia, Decretary and Acta
FRANCIS O. SMITH. M. P.. Philadelphia, Medical DI
rector.
Thl Cumpuoy llolued, lu tlu Bret TES MONTHS of It.
exlvtence,
5,395 POLICIES,
INSURING
$15,142,800.
This Company otrera to It. Polley-lloldfra
PERFECT SECU 111 TY
by Its Cub paid up Capital or sin. Donut , . and
gusrautres to the limtud, by It.
Low Rates of Pl.CLfiltin
LAME DIVIDENDS IN ADVANCE,
Or ■ lievendoutsry Dividrnd of 1.) per c.mt. by It.
RETURN PREMIUM PLAN
GENERAL AGENTS
B. W. CI.A ILK & Co., Banker, No. tti South Third stre,q,
Philadelphia. Getteral A gentx for Peunaylvaula and
gbuthern New Jeremy,: • 'B. S. RUSAELL, Manager.
Charles W. Cooper Allentown National Bank, Beßon
Walser, Republlcaner Book Store, Agents for Lehigh and
adjoining Counties. Jacob A. Blunter special agent.
sept 1.3.14
THE WIDOWS' AND ORPHANS'
MUTUAL BENEFIT SOCIETY OF PENNA
Principal Office, Allentown, I's
•
OVPICH. :
JOIIN C. ANRWALT, Panainntr.
Ws. H. DESHLER, 1311C191,1ART.
MARTIN SEIPLE,
Board of Dlrectors—John C. Anewalt, Wm. 11. De.h
ler, Marlin Solple, Dr. Z. F. Laßoche, Dr. A. lireaßromr,
i l l . eo 3 rig . e s EAplz, ,,N %llz.lin . J. , K r Cknrle. K. Hole, C.
, Wm, H.S. Oros, Peter J.
II Romig.
This Society Is •Irtually a Life lasnrance Company on a
Pteby which a person of the emallest means can procure
Ile protection to his family In cane of his death.
It does not accumulate millions of dollar. of th• Men•
here' money, as do other Life Inenrance Companlea, but
each member can retain his money until called for to the
cane of the death allay member.
There Is no possibility of title Society felling no the fund.
are all in the hand s of the members themselves, and the
Society le purely mutnal. Member,. have a right to vote
at all election. for °facers.
WHY BECOME A MEMBER.
_lt le n• more the moral ditty of a man to provide the
gaily breed for hie family while he lives, than it in to pro
•lde against their being left penniless to the event of his
death. A POLICY IN Vile, SOCIETY is the CHEAPEST
and SAFEST mode of making a certain provision for such
a calamit.
YOITNII LIEN are na liable to take leave of lifeau the
old. Death is uncertain. We ask yen, therefore, to con
sider the CHEAPNESS and SAFErf of Insuring In thin
Company, and be assured that to robe of death you will
leave behind you a blessing too widowed mother or de•
peHindent the
a er.
~ Hive the übject our thought, send to the Secretary for
our.circular, consider Its cheapnene and we are lure you
will at tune take out a policy.
AMERICAN LIFE INNER ANCE
COMPANY OF
PHILADELPHIA,
South East Cor. Fourth •and Walnut Streets
1373=E111
THE A INTERICA N
onto low rates of premium.
It offers more I.orauce fur tho name none; lb. Utile
00111p.7.
Itl6 • Houle Company.
116 Policies are ullalon•forfoltable.
. .
It pays life.pollelen at death. or at the age of SO year,
On the reducing-promium plan, the Insured pave hie lar
felt premium tho Oral year—which is the acme an paid o •
the mutual•ordlnary-life•plau—and each nuhnettuout yea
l• lea n , and leen% and at the end of twenty years become
°l en ie . r n eV i r ' n er p7e f gi r u . r=n " A n te t fi l lt i lllVVe h e e r c eggrg
&gully with all he hl4ll paid to the Company, an that hi
Insurance coats only tho intermit on the amount, paid in.
On the income-producing plan, the insured may reedit ,
10 per vent. on the amount of hie policy.
E=l3
132=
IXIMM!
WM. J. ROMIG, M. D., Agent,
I=
MIMI
ce 'BANKERS, og
No. 35 SO UTH THIRD STREET,
HI LADELPHIA.
DEALERS IN
GOVERNMENT SECURITIES,
STOCK, GOLD
AND NOTE BROKERS.
diMea. a Baas. /Irma, ►ad ladDlduds nothed,
eo,* M.lght:
INTLIIEST ALLOWED Ott RALANCEII
ekENERAC R kENTS,
FO
S 0 PENNSYL VANIA , t; k,
7 IZ 44 D O
OF THE (. 5\ 3
tottist%
f itto Of THE Cfe l o,
UNITED STATES OFAVIERICA.
The NATIONAL LIPS 11161111ANCit CONTANT IS 11,
IWOOnNIo JuI n ch
11 iulered, by epecta l Act of Congress, sp.
preyed lBO6, with
CASH CAPITAL, 51,000,000, PULL PAID.
Liberal terms offered to Agents and Solicitors, who
are Invited to spoil :, at our
flUll 1
to i n second .to,ro'rgu;laktrigt,
whore Circular, and Pamphlcta. fully dexcritilng the
idvantatuis offered by Motet:nearly, may be bad.
. W. CLACK dr. CO.,
No. 05 SbulA Third St
•
B. B. RUSSELL, Manager,
Clarks W. Cooper ad Alpe We lege Allest•wn Na.
Haul Bank. Agents ter lolingb k 041 a Oa:takes, De.
VOL. XXIII
THE VERY BEST
THE CHEAPEST,
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
AND MOST DURABLE
CLOTHING,
KEYSTONE HALL
BALLIET & NAGLE
Have the lament, beat and eheapost stock of CLOTHING
ever got up to Ole city, sod eell Goode lu their line, !mob.
COATS,
mt.' all oilier Goo& perlalulag W u E N•• WHA II
FOR LESS MONEY,
$1,000,014)
than you cau buy elsewhere In Eastern Penaltylanais
No Slop Shop made. Goods sold.
CLOTHING MADE TO ORDER.
We keep constantly on bald a large and elegant smart
ment of 00008, from which customers can make their
selections nod have them made up on short notice.
Their Cutting Department le under the aupervislua of
GEORGE K. REEDER,
it ' e h tt o s ','„'}d.p.:nbyeeNent7ortroimrnecaolm'ethttet'lcluallis"goll:lYl•
(orator patron,
Sir All work warranted to be of tbe vary bowl.
Call and see our now SPRING STOCK. recolved at the
KEYSTONE HALL,
No. 24 West Hamilton Street
teat door to the Oermim Reformed Church, ALLU
TOWN, PA.
A foil amoortamot of Opole Furoloblog Hood. alw•ya
hand.
AARON DALLtET,
may 12-tf
GREAT ATTRACTION I
NEIV FIRM! NEW GOODS!
CLOTHING! CLOTHING!
GRAND SPRING AND SUMMER OPENING
GREAT REDUCTION IN PRICES
T. OSMUN & CO.,
Successor, to Metzger Osmun.
B A R 'AI N S
AT TUR •
GREAT CLOTHING EMPORIUM
=I
NO. 43 EAST lIAMILTON STREET,
We would Inform the citizens of Allentown and the nur
tundlng country that we are prepared with a large stock
I goods fur,
SPRING AND SUMMER WEAR,
ud offer them to the public at reunonable prices. To thee•
vho buy their Clothing ready-made, they ore prepared le
Per BAAGAINS.
WHOLE SUITS MADE TO ORDER!
COATS, PANTS AND VESTS
Cm and made In the latest style, and by the beet workmen
CLOTHING, CLOTHS AND CASSIMERES,
In larger than It has been before, and we Intend to Fell
very SMALL PROFITS, and giro our customer., the bone
flt of our low purchases.
Great qua:littler. Roil ♦Rrlrlt.R of
NECKTIES, CUFFS, COLLARS,
And everything in the line of
OR XT' FURNIfiIIiNG (100D5
MEN'S. YOUTHS', BOYS', and CHILDREN'S
IEADY-MADE CLOTHING
CONSTANTLY ON lIAND
,Ic t o c rl ' i Lf ., , , r , ii i r i t . t t h h e . Ngt:l i i . , Nu. 43 Emit liumilton Wert, third
T. 0101tIN.• JACOB A. SCHOLL, , MAItTIX LTxxl
oar 24•0
CONSHOHOCKEN
BOILER AND COIL WORKS
JOHN WOOD, .1 R., •
=EI
=
All kinds of Wrought Iron Coils, Tnyers for Blast Pla
na., Gasometers, Smoke Stacks, Blast
B t Pipes,lron Wheel
barrows, and everything In the oiler and Sheet Iron line.
Also, all kinds of Iron and Steel Porgings and Blacksmith
work, Miners' Tool• of all kind., such as Wham Buckets,
Picks, Drills, Mallets, Sledges, dtc.
Having • Steam liaminer end net of tool. of all kinds,
and skilled workmen, I flatter myself that I ran turn out
work with promptness and dispatch, all of which will he
warranted to be grat•class.
Patching Boilers, and repairing generally, strictly at
tended to. apr 7-Iy
CEGEM
STRATTON'S PORTABLE AIR GAS
MACHINE.
=
11=
THE CHEAPEST LIGHT IN USE
Stratton . * 0 as Mut+lnn for Illuminating Hotels, Private
Residsucee, Stores, blind, etc., is simple in construction,
consomes all the material used to the manufacture of gas,
nod le so cheap an to bring it within the reach of ail. It Is
free from explosions, ran he managed by any person, and
produces a superior light to all other*, at one-half the cost
of ordinary burning gas. NO FIRE 18 APPLIED TO THE
APPARATUS. It can be attached to ordinary t ies pipes
and fixtures, the duly •ariatlon being in the en ties
of the burnerjets. All parts of the apparatus are made la
the most thorough and workmanlike manner. Superiority
over till machines is claimed In the following particulars :
First, Cost of Construction. Second, Illuminating Capac
ity. Third, Compactness and Simplicity,_ and consequent
Irupoisibility of its getting out of order. Fourth, Economy
In use of material: A machine capable of supplying ten
burners costslt7s.
Any further nformation will be given and the workings
of the. machine explained by • calling upon the agent for
Lehigh county.
13=1
I=2
C. W. STUBEB,
WALNUT STREET. CORNER OF PENN
1212213211
(ABOVE lIIIIILEII3OIO COLLEGE.)
ALLENTOWN PA
voteio.
T INE vorELAnSU3I3IER RESORT
THE SLATE EXCHANGE HOTEL,
WALNUTPORT, LEIIIOII CO.
WILLIAM KUNTZ, PROPRIETOR.
The beautiful and 'laded rotunda of this hotel have
been fi pa tted up erpeelally for the accommodation of ozeur•
MHon ..
T
E TAILLF. of the hotel Is supplied with the eholee,,t
luxuries and the mart tempting meat, and vegetablec
Everything in reason always cooked In the beet manner
and 1101,041 In the met Inviting idyl,
TIIE SLEEPING APARTMENTS are oommodion• and
well ventilated, and aro ample for the accommodation of
guesM who may wish to ritual. over night, or take board-
Ina by line week or for.the season. •
Special arrangements made with ...lon settee. For
further Information address WILLIAM KUNTZ,
'TM Slating'. P. 0., Pa.
KAMINSKY .at. ALBERT,
BOOKBINDERS,
ODD FELLOWS' HALL,
ALLENTOWN, PA.
•
We take plea/lure In announcing the public that, hay
lua mtabliehed a new Bookbindery, we are now fully
prepared to promptly execute all order. for binding book.
of all aorta. magaziona, paper. pamphlet.,etc. We
guarantee our rummer.enbatentfal work and handabute
of every design. aug it-am
IMPORTANT TO SHIPPERS
AND MANUFACTURERS.
DENNISON'S AND LOCKWOOD'S
TAGS AND SHIPPING CARDS,
I=
REGISTER MICR
h.oh r It t r t
•
Clotbing
PANTS,
VESTS
I=
I=
4MI=
faccijartico
131:1131111
ALLENTOWN, PA., WEDNESDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 1, 1869
On) Goabo
FOR
DRY GOODS,
FANCY GOODS,
AND CARPETS,
GO TO
FOSTER'S
NEW YORK
CITYSTORE,
ALLENTOWN, PA
We hare inaugurated a nen , era in the Dry
Goods bueinesi in 'Allentown. " Get as much
as you ran," has too long been the motto s of our
merchants here. "SELL AS LOW AS YOU
CAN" is the motto ce soil under. For the
best and latest styles of all kinds of Dry Goods,
Fancy Goods and Carpets, if you would buy
them at reasonable rates, you must come to us.
WHITE GOODS.
BELOR' REGULAR RATES.
PLAIN, ri.AiD AND STRIPED NAINSOOKS.
PLAIN, PLAID AND STRIPED OROANDI ES.
VICTORIA AND 1118110 P LAWNS.
PEKIN FORTES, New Style, mud for Dresses
PIQUES. In nllN;tulf,
SOFT AND HARD FIEIBIIEI/ CAM BRICE
b===t2=M
I=
FINE NEEDLE WORK EDGINGS and INSERTINGS at
ONE-lIA IF VALUE.
HAM DUELS, in SWISS and CAM URIC. A Full Stock.
RUITLINGS of all kinds, ua MAGIC, EMPREtin,
rffEll
REAL u•il IMITATION
uudvALENciA.
BOBINETS•nd 'WASH BL TI
ONDS.
ORENADINEII FOR VEI LS, The
LADIES', MISSES', and BOIS' 111 nud 1.01,1• Au.
LENA I SYR E & HOS
212 NORTH EIGIITII STREET, PIIILADA.
Jnly
i 6 QIUDDEN CHANGE."
WILL LOW PRICES INFLUENCE YOU?
OLD TIMES AGAIN
IMMENSE REDUQTION IN PRICES
THE OLD CORNER
=I
STOCK OF SPRING GOODS,
I=l
STYLE, VARIETY, AND LO WNESS OF PRICE
Sh/111111.1 CanDOI b 0 nurpus 1.011
rifr Competition ddled with any ofhor Extol,UN/anent
outride of the larger citie._23l
SPACE WILL NOT PERMIT OF NAMING such an Ito
memos stork of goods . , bat let It sonic° to say that we have
tho mom COMPLETE assortment of Ladles' Deco , . Goods,
Deem. Alkx Poplin, Shawl, Halmoruhi, Gomm Furnish
ing Goods, Ladles` Cloaking Cloth, Neon Wear In Cloth,
Cassimores, Ate., and everything that kept In a FIRST
CLASS DRY GOODS STORE In Mlle. , variety. Ido not
"QUOTE PRICES" assume holism, do, bat will guarantee
ASTONISIIING FIGURES.
The differeslc. In3lrlces of goods to-da TOM mouth a4O,
Is really painful f ur these who have neon caught wait
large stocks on hand ut high pelves, hut as that Is not the
case with in., I shall as heretofore make the OLD MI
NER
THE GREAT PLACE OF INTEREST
AND HEADQUARTERS
(or th• untoxes to get theit gond', et the
LOWEST MARKET PRICES
I fully realize that no permanent $411",01 ran be achieved
artless the promises held nut by advertisements are found
to he fully soutained on It Vitlit to the store. Nor can It be
a large pummel% without scrupulously reliable and fair
dealing at all times tmd uniform •courtesy to every custo
mer, and the endeavor to make every buyer a uongtent
dealer. All I ask Is simply to deride by actual trial
whether or ant It is to your advantage to become a rustu•
met..
Respectfully Your:.
M. J. KRAMER,
"OLD CORNER,"
OPPOSITE TILE. EAGLE HOTEL.
arrll l{—lf
Carpcto anb Oa club.
TIDE CARPET AND OIL CLOTH
EMPORIUM ,OF
E. S. SHIMER & CO.,
NOS. 5 AND 7 WEST HAMILTON ST,
ALLENTOWN PA.
- REPLENISHED
,u all Ha1a1...) varlntle., olylen and patterus.
PRICES REDUCED!
We keep for sale all Ole (olluwloi popular make.
BODY BRUSSELS,
PRANK ENGLISH,
6 FRANK DIGELOR,
FRANK HARTFORD.
ENGLISH TAPESTRY,
•
CROSSLEY'S TAPESTRY,
BTODDART TAPESTRY
SMITH TAPESTRY,
IyRTFORD At LOWELL, extra] ply,
•
IMPERIAL, extra 3 ply,
MEDIUM SUPERFINE, 3 ply,
SMITH TAPESTRY INGRAIN,
PHILA. SUPERFINE de.,
•
PIIILADELPHIA PINE INGRAIN,
' PHILADELPHIA COMMON INGRAIN,
PHILADELPHIA WOOL INGRAIN, du.
W .- ENDOW' SHADP,S
AND
CURTAINS .
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, STYLE AND PRICY
•
MANHOOD ; 110 W LOST, 110 W
RESTORED.
Just publielted, a new edition of Dr. CulverwelP• Cele•
heated Emmy on the radical core (without medicine) of
Sr AAAAA ollannu or Seminal Weakness, Involuntary
Seminal L inrovencr, Mental and Physical Inca
pacity, Impediments to Marriage, etc.; also, Consume-
View, EriLitrai. and Fax. Induced by self-Indulgence or
eexnal enttavaga aee.
lite... Price. In • sealed envelope, only S cents.
The celebrated author, In this admirable essay, clearly
demonetrates from • thirty yea.' successful practice, that
the alarming consequent.. of self-abuse may be radi c a l ly
gored without the dangerous use of internal medicine or
the &Matignon of the knife; pointing out • mode of sere
at enee simple, certain, and effectual, by means of which
every sufferer, no matter what his condition may be, may
cure himself cheaply, privately, and radically.
1121.-This Lecture shod be in the hand, of every yduth
and every man in the ( an d .
Sent under seal, in a plain envelope, to any address,
Alma,
on receipt of six cents, or two post *temps.
Dr. Culverweir• " Marriage Guide," price 21 as.
Addrese the Publishers, CHAS. J. C. KLINE & CO.,
Jl2l-ly 127 Bowery, New York, P. 0. Box 4,560.
IS. WATERMAN,
•Prop rt e tor of WATERMAN'S COCKTAIL AND TON
IC DITTNRS, Wholesale and Retail, No. 1100 Market St.,
Philadelphia.
The tonic properties of these Bitters have been certified
to by some of our most eaelnent praelleing siciana op
the beet tortlO noir In MO, and the Cocktail rs is the
ualvoreal favorite amongjudgee o! a good Tor ertailky
settled!.
I'D BE A. FARMER'S WIFE
I uni n wild and laughing girl, }net turned efhweet seven
Wen,
Am full of mischief :mil of Mu ns or, you Imre memo.
And whou : mm n WOlllllll grown, no city Itintu for me
If ever I marry In my 1110, n farmer . % wife PH i.e.
I love a country Ulu ; I love the joyous lireete ;
I love to hear Hie hlngina Mr& amooa the lofty trees ;
The lowlim fiord., the bleating Ilurke, make musk. *wort
for ;
If ever I merry In soy life, a farmer' s wife he.
Inv.. to see the thicken,. Akin, I lot• to tolik the rowel,
I love to +re the fartoor'n bop, it•whiviting nt the Dion, ;
Anil gelds acorn and waving grain urn plealtant nighty to
=9
Let other girls. who love It lotAt, eujo) the gloomy lowa,
'311,1 du.,ky won+ mid dusky etrttoto to nnttLle up and
flown
But Ilowpry hanks, and Andy wttotl4, and sunny 'tatted
fur tue
It ever I marry In n n farmer', wife I.
DRAW YOUR CONCLUSIONS
IV—Continued
Mr. Butfurn resolved to make on• final ef
fort lbr poor Adolphus. Ile cherished a dint
recollection of having once in early childhood
been sent away to boarding•echool for kissing
a pretty maid of his step-mother's. Ile also
repeated to himself several times each day,
Absence conquers love," while he spent
hours at a stretch in turning over township
maps of the Western States and Territories,
With a deep look on his face and _a pencil In
his hand. Adolphus went in and out as be
fore, without noticing him, until Mr. Buffuin
one morning asked the pleasure of his compa
ny in the study.
Well, Adolphus," began his guardian, as
soon as they were seated, "let us forget the
past, at least long enough to talk about your
future. lam still your lawful protector, and
whatever differences we may have as men
must not he allowiid to interfere with the dis
charge of toy legal duty for your befiefit. You
are nearly of age, and, for the sake boll, of
your mind and body, you ought to be think
ing of some active business. Thus far you
have had a good education ; but you say you
don't wish to go to college. Now what mould
you like to do Y A gentleman ought not to be
idle ; he should work for his health, for good
spirits and contentment, even though It be
not necessary to do it for his living."
" Don't make that reservation in nty behalf
if you are willing I should respect your sin
cerity," said Adolphus, in a tone of icid quas
sia.
I have thought you might like to try farm
ing on your own responsibility. On this place
of mine you have had good opportunity for
the last eighteen months to observe how that
business is conducted. I have noticed that
your interest In it never flags, and ' 1 ant so
sure you have n good general idea of the sub
ject that I make you this proposition. I have
a nice ranche in my eye, situatmton the rich
est of rich Missouri bottom-lands ;. soil, in fact
one immense muck-heap, ten feet, and fifteen
hundred acres in area ; with a comfortable
log house and a few other simple Improve
ments on it—right on the Mississippi bluffs,
and only a mile trout the steamboat landing.
It's now in the market, at only a slight ad
vance over government prices. Lag-hosic,
did I say ? ! a good two-story frame-house
of six rooms—saw the man who owned it only
yesterday. Greatest grape country in the
World ! Now, it' you like, I'll make such ar
rangements that you can pay for it in slow
installments, and go out and settle there for a
year or so, till you see how you like it. As
to our money differences, for the present let
them be kept in abeyance. I'll make the first
year's payment for you, at any rate, and go
your security for the.rest."
When he began to speak he had laid the
map of the property under Adolphus' eye.
As he went on the young man grew more and
more interested; and when his guardian had
concluded with the question, " what do
you say ?" he replied, with greater cordiality
than he had shown for month's that he would
be happy to take the matter into consideration.
Mr. itutfum gave him the map for his private
perusal and the two separated.
Adolphus was not with him at supper, and
when they met at breakfast the next morning
the young man forestalled the question Intl
mated in the guardian's eyes by volunteering
the information that he had concluded to ac
cept the proposal.
" I low soon will you be ready to go V aiik
ed Mr. !ham, With a look of great satisfac
tion.
"'phis (lay week,' replied Adolphus, "if
the farm implements can be procured by that
time. llere is a little inventory of what I
shall want. You'd better send it right off to
Mapes, and have them boxed and shipped di
rectly."
'So saying he handed a couple of closely
written foolsap pages to Mr Butrum. The
guardian ran his eye down the list with a face
expressive of no less surprise than pleasure ;
then coming to the end exclaimed :
" Why, 1 declare, it a quite perfect I What
a fellow you are to observe I How the duce
could you have got this up all by yourself?
Egad I one would think you'd had the agri
cultural experience of a lifetime I"
Adolphus voucusafed no explanation as to
the completeness with which he had accom
plished his Inventory, "all by himself,"' for
the very simple reason which may occur to any
pretty maid and lad who happen to be look
ing over this story together, " all by them
selves."
Mr. Butt= immediately forwarded the or
der, as Droposed, and wound up the business
with a homily upon persevering application as
the sure high-road to success, of which, as our
young readers may chance to have met with
it before, we give no stenographic report in
these pages.
The day of their parting Caine rapidly
around. They were shy and reserved with
each other till they stood on the platform of
the railway station and heard Adolphus' train
blow its last
Mr. Mama grew very red in the - face and
moist about the eyes, grasped the youth's hand
with a conclusive, pressure, and brokenly
murmured, " Good-by, dear old boy l"
"Good-by, Mr. Butfum—"
Ills senior's visage grewstill redder. "Oh,
hang it ! say ' Guardy .once more,. as you
used to !" he explosively exclaimed.
"Good-by, Guardy,' said Adolphus; and
the links of the great boa bonstrietor that
pants steam wriggled away with hint to the
setting sun.
As a place of residence Aristotle Cottage,
with its beautiful fence entire, now became
unendurable to Mr. Billions, who openly cons
pared
it to the Syrian Desert the Catacombs,
and St. Shuon Stylites his pillar. lie could
•not hide from himself that he sorely missed
the young man at every torts.
At length, in despair, he put the premises
under his farmer's tutelage, and started for a
watering-place. Stopping over a night in
New York on his way through, and making
inquiries 11)r the summer destination of his
particular acquaintances, he found the tide set
ting full for Long Branch. The Hodges, the
Crumbles, the Stansburies, the Vaughans, and
that oldest of old Dutch families, the Krullers,
were all going to the Mansion Ilosise. Al
ready Laird was entertaining the Blowbells ;
while Miss Jacintha Cropper, sister of the late
Mrs Lumley, had been them a week,Paccom
panicd by her orphan charge—the all-Impor
tant, the fateful, the testamgutary, the condi
tional Charlotte ; the vehicle of one immense
estate, the axle on 'whic turned another.
This, with Mr. Buffum, I i 1.9 decisive. Lum
lew senior had beets his tend, but Charlotte
he had not seen since al was a phenomenon,
in,Hunteq's photo exercises, wearing panta
-1 lets, short frocks, and her hair in two long
' tails with blue streamers behind. He. was
curious, for Adolphus' sake, to see what bad
become of her in the lathe of Tints ; so down
he went.
A score of bachelor greetings on the piazza ;
supper ' • and then, as it was shop-night, when
the tables were cleared away out of the great
salle a manger, a return from his tranquilizing
cigar along the bluff to look In on the dancers
—these ushered in Mr. Baum's first evening
at the Mansion.
As, without any particularaeoualntance be
side him, be leaned against the door post, be
hind him in the darkness rose and fell the
ocean, with that mysterious rhythim which
bards are forever vainly seeking to set to their
music in front of him a sea of brilliant women
vibrated to the tidal iniluencings of waltz of
Strauss. Of the men I speak. not;.ln that
ball room they were but the slim spars, the
black drift, as from some burned ship, float
ing on billows of blue, green, tirgentine, and
crimson, at the mercy of their wildly-surging
partners.
Should he venture in ? He, the' helpless
male possessed of no special wave to harmon
ize him with, the grand oceanic motion, to roll
miserably In the trough between tulle and
muslin, to come to grief against the rocky reef
of seine dining room pillar, where all the oth
er drift wood would miserably bump and
bruise him, and the laughing waves play .
tractingly with his corns?
While revolving these thoughts soproper to
every single man who stands on the borders
of such a surge.-ti gorgeous billow of blue
grenadine came bounding landward, and clev
erly beached her black drift at his very feet.
From her mermaid arms it fell into the help
lessly collapsed posture peculiar to drift, good
sOciety,.and hot weather, and began trickling
softly to its disengaged billow, drift like still
in all but the sharp freshness of brine. As the
the gentleman turned his ace toward the door,
the first thought that struck Mr. Bottum was
his marvelous resemblance to Adolphus. At
first sight Ile could almost have imagined that
his ward had been playing him a trick, and
really stood there in prniwia peoiona, but
another glance convinced him of his error,
though the likeness was still astonishing. The
next thought that occurred to him was, how
singularly out of harmony the young fellow
was with his brilliant partner. Not at all the
man for her in any respect So slight, so
boyish, so untrained ; his youthful exuber
ance so littlechastened .by the sager experi
ences of manhood. And she so developed, so
womanly, so quee ! Ile had scarcely time
to make this reflec tion when the youth ad
dressed her as Miss Lumley. The word so star
tled Mr. Bottum that he flushed to the tem
pies, conscious of having mentally tricked and
played the traitor to himself. liad u second
person suggested to Mr. Buffum the discord
which he had just noticed of his own original
discrimination, he would have felt compelled to
reply, " I deny it Sir ; I deny it in. into ! Why
not the man for her I—why not the women
for hint ? Prove it, Sir ; I say, pence it r But
it is every man's privilege to be as illogical ns,
he pleases with himself. Not hearing it from
a second person, Beloit Bntfeln confessed it in
the teeth of the last will and testament of
Adolphus Shearsworth, senior—confessed that
Charlotte Lumley would be indeed ill-mated
with Adolphus, junior ; and he with her.
In truth she was a royal woman ! Erect,
and made of curves pliant as a Hebe's ; tall
and fair, shedding round her the sweet dignity
of a Juno ; in every motion the woman of
highly developed nature, yet in her look, her
dress, and every tone of- her rich contralto
voice, the woman of perfected social art. To
all of these things Belch Bottum was as wide
awake as the 11104 illogical man.
As yet, neither she or the very young youth
had seen him. And again, through the press
ure of the crowd, Mr. Buff= was forced to
listen to a conversation not intended for his
ears. First, lie heard the voice of the youth—
Adolphues voice, but not saying Adolplms*s
things :
" lie is really the laughing-stock of • the
room. Such a ridiculous figure ! If you'll
excuse the vulgar proverb, like a cat in a
strange garret I A grass.cloth coat at a hall !
Why, in Heaven's ma n se, must he appear in
such an mitre costume I—for all the world like
a well-to-do farmer going out to look after his
haying I"
Beloit Buffum boiled.. The clear voice he
was listening for replied :
" Indeed, Mr. Poproy, you gentlemen are
sad gossips. If you talk so about each other
to the ladies, how do you talk about the ladies
to the gentlemen?"
" I assure you we hold them sacred ! For
myself, I can say that I only breathe in my
heart the name of one I"
" That apartment must , be much less crowd
ed than your sex manage to keep it general
ly," replied Miss Lumley, lightly, without the
least sign of appropriation.- " YoUrenstavers
can not have to stand on a trunk to dress
when they don the brilliant tissues or your
fancy. Quite unlike the rest of our Long
Branch accommodations; Mr: Poproy. lint
ass to the gentleman whom you amnion, for
give me if I can't wholly agree with you.
For my part, very tired (Allis black•coat
lesert—Leery. A little suggestion of grass—if
is only the ',a sputa. we get in the cloth of
amt name—is a refreshing oasis. But don't
you know any or the tine qualities or the man?
Ile is said to lie very noble-hearted and ye. y
intelligent. Now long have you known your
friend.?
"My friend ? Ik—the—"
" Pardon me ? he is mine."
What ? She remembered the young fellow
who used to sup at her father's in Worcester,
and play with those queues of brown hair and
blue ribbon as she sat at the piano astonishing
all hearers Y
In his enthusiasm Belch Butium let the
crowd carry him quite up to Miss Lumley ;
and ns the madly attacked youth in dismay
fell back a• step at beholding the grass•cloth
wings of the angel he had but a moment since
spoken of so lightly, that unemotional, ration
al, logical personage caught, the beautiful
white hand of the heiress with the exclama
lion :
11cr father's own true daughter ! A thou
sand thanks for not forgetting - me. Be k,llll
how very, rery glad I am to see the 'amnia]
such a capital fulfillment of the little girl."
•
" I ant very happy to see you once more,
Mr. liulltun," answered the heiress, shaking
his hand cordially. Then, with a graceful
self possession, turning to the spot wlMre her
adorer had been, she said, " Let me make you
acquainted with my friend, Mr. Poproy— '
Kindly considerate„ but vain ruse of wo.
man's tnct ! The place which once knew Mr.
l'oproy knew hint no more forever—that is to
say, for the rest of the season.
And in the next quadrille Beauty danced
by the side of a grass-cloth suck. •
WC! will say nothing further of Mr. Bur
LOng Branch visit than that, instead of
staying a day or two, as he bad intended, he
protracted his sojourn to an entire month ;
nor any thing concerning the results of that
visit beyond the fact that the madly attached
Mr. Poproy might be seen for hours at it time
with irregular steps pacing the briny beach,
or sitting in an arbor with his hat crushed
over eyes which looked steadily across the
solemn main. Neither do we make any in
troductory comments upon Mr. Buffum's res.'
olution to visit Adolphus in his new'home im
mediately and suddenly alley the termination
of his visit at Long Branch. We pass over
every Incident that might render a guide-book
valuable, and disembark with Mr. Bullum
from the Mississippi steamer at Numa Porn
pilius Landing. There, by a curious coinci
dence, he found Adolphus In readiness to re
ceive the mall, that gentlemen having been in
the country three months, and therefore
among those oldest inhabitants of new regions
who get appointed postmaster. The youth
was on horseback, but, dismounting and
greeting him kindly, bade him sit on a pile of
wood by the landing whilehe went home after
a cart for his baggage and himself. Mr. Bill
' fun would have liked to walk, but Adolphus
would not hear of such a thing, and rode post
haste to the house without waiting to listen to
his guardian's logic. lie had been absent
scarcely half an hour when a negro appeared
with a cart, and, loading Mr. B. with his bag
gage upon it, drove away to the 'quiche..
Mr. Harem found it situated on a bold bluff'
overlooking the river. What an astonishing
I artistic eye the boy possessed 1 Already Ile I
had trained a convolvulus over the kW door
of the cottage, planted a profusion of Chem-
kee roses against the walls, and inclosed quite I
a neat yard and flourishing garden within .ar ,
rustic [tome. Me .brought 3lr. 13,Mfunt into a I
somewhat plain but exquisitively tidy room,
with a sanded floor, on the right-hind side oe
the entrance, and gave him the best wooden
chalitaking his own seat on a . iitool directly
opposite.
"Let me see what sort of.o house you've
gnt •, I want to go all over,it exclaimed Mr.
Buffum, endeavoring to Waive the chair.
"No, not yet," rinswered'Adolplms
I "Rest a while. Business before pleasuM.
I'll have my man iet dinner in a minute, and
after that we'll 'look at the
,Improvements. I
You have business in your eye, Mr. Balm.
I can see it. Now get out with it ; get it off I
your mind and mine ; I am really anxious._
Lot me know exactly what you've come for— '
extra, of course I mean, to paying me a kind
and welcome visit." •
" Well, Sir," said Mr.'Buffum, checking the
combative feeling aroused by the direct per•
Bonet manner of his <•ard, "perhaps this time
is as good as any. I will not hide from you
that one motive of my journey was definitely
and for the last time to ask if you will obey
your father's will and propose to Miss Loin.
Icy."
So sAying, Mr. Bunn' sat up straight in his
most offensive logical manner, at the same
time chuckling in secret to his very boots with
the thought that an unparalelled opportunity
ibr doing the magnanimous was close at hand.
Adolphus crossed his legs, rested his elbow
on his knee, and looked his guardian full in
the face.
" I will not deny," lie proceeded to answer
mildly. "that since I came out into this West
ern Nvililerness. and have seen its hardships,
my notions of life are very much changed., It
will please you to hear that have repented
m%' foolish obstinacy. I feel now perfectly
willing to do as you desire. I accept the con
dition, and um quite ready to unite the Shears
worth and Lumley properties. I will return
eastward with you, address the loihily Char
lotte, to whose beauty and accomplishments
nut now conscious of having done such great
injustice and marry her immediately."
Through all this speech of Adolphus's, Mr.
Bonin, turning red and pale by turns, had
been jerking uneasily on his chair, and the
moment ikiti ward concluded jumped up with
a haste which sunt' that piece of furniture spin
ning behind him.
You—will—marry—Miss Lumley—ilium-
•
liately—Sir•V •
,
"On the spot, Mr. Buffum," answered
I.dolphus, with cheerful firmness.
" By Heavens I you will do no such thing !
1-1.-I—l—ddny it, Sir?"
Why, what in the world do you mean ?
Are you crazy, Sir?" replied the youth, stand.
tip and surveying his guardian inquiringly,
with his arms akimbo. '
Marry—marry, Sir ? Crazy, Sir ? What
do 1 mean, Sir ? llow dare you talk of marry
g
in n lady whom you never saw—on the "pot l"
'"
Where else should I marry her? Really,
your conduct is most inexplicable: . Suppose I
should tell her that you, her father's off/ friend,
had made every effort to bring us together,
had absolutely bullied me into wooing her ;
though a rich man himself, had threatened to
beggar me if 1 didn't ; and, finally, had ennui
all this fifteen hundred miles for the express
purpose of getting my promise to do so—do
you imagine that her kind heart (dear girl !
I'm already romantically in love with her for
it !)would permit her to reject me—me, Sir, a
man in every way eligible?"
" Good Heavens ! The matchless effrontery
of the young animal !" groaned Mr. Baum,
dazedly.
"Of course I shall use every inducement in
ne) power. I 'shall tell her all you have said ;
the urgent motives you have brought to bear
on me; and, with such an influence seconding
me, she must be more or less than human
not—"
" You shall do no such thing. You can not
--will not--shall not--dare not tell her--you--"
"Ah ! nit ! A light breaks in upon my
mind! You sriut me to refuse proposing to
her, and would fain pocket my estates your
sell! But I see through your treacherous
blinds. I' gin propose to her I"
" You shall not 1
I will! I'll sit down and write to her this
very day I I'll follow my letter to her fret !
I'll lay myself and all I have there. I'll use
all your entreaties with her ! go by the
very next boat!"
Beloit Bottum sank into the wooden chair
again, and silently folded his arms, the picture
of Napoleon alter the field of Waterloo. Adol
phus resolutely continued
"Yes, Sir; I'll obey my honored father's
will ! And still more, I'll expose to Miss
Lumley—(sweet, sweet girl 1 how I pant to
press tier to my impassioned bosom !)—the
knavery of the man who has practiced on that
parent's orphan son I She and all the world
shall know how artfully you awakened a
young man's opposition to his best interests
by your ill-tithed coercion, Intending all the
while that he should he irritated foto a course
which must leave hint penniless and you
doubly rich! I shall blazon It, Sir! And in
that day you will tied your logic but a poor
defense
Oh I Oh I • Adolphus, my dear boy, for
Heaven's sake be reasonable—be logical.
Mll/ .
•• Penitently confess, then. how you have
wronged toe, and release all my property
forthwith. Confess! sign! wall deliver!
before the mail goes out, for then it will beloo
late."
"Adolphus, my dear boy, will you listen b
a solemn omtidenee I ttm about to repose it
you?"
" Proceed, sir, if you have aught to say it
•
ex t Num t km."
With his eyes fixed upon the sanded boards,
and all combativeness vanished front his man
ner. Mr. Butfittu tremulously continued :
"After you left me I went down to Long
Branch. There, Air the tirat time since 'her
earl); I saw Mt's,. L/1 in IQ. Before
1 laivw it I felltliat is to say, I became at,
Melted to her. And—in an hour—when I
thought not—of my duties—tts executor—of
your father's proposed—to her—and
calls—accepted. "
What! Accepted, by toy testamentary
wile?"
`• I , orgive your true friend—one who made
all his previons representatiOns and entreaties
to you with the most unselfish sincerity—for
give hint when he says—yei. She loves me—
I love her—nod we shah be—married—unless
yon—make these leartill—disclosures which
you have just threatened: But why should
you make them ?. Oh, be rational ! Look at
it calmly, logically, and—pity me, A.dolphus!"
• " A pretty titan you are to talk of logic and
reason I Was it on their scientific principles
that you defrauded me of my father's condi
contin,,ent, testamentary, and lovely.
daughter-in-14 ' W !"
Adolphus / ! 1 tun human."
Glad to hear you acknowledge it for the
first flute in my life.! Well, lam human too,
and lean 61 the side of mercy-11A you didn't
when you Swore you'd keep all my property.
I'll let you off on one condition. Sign nn ac
knowledgment that Miss Lumley, by accept
ing you, has put It out of my power to fulfill
my lathers testament, and an a ,, reetnent on
the day I attain Illy majority to treliver me my
entire patrimony. This may be of no value
an a legal instrument ; but I shall keep it as
toy safeguard tilUrattain my property ; and if
anynpposition on your part occurs to my en
trance on the estate, I publish it to the world
Otherwise it remains in close privacy between
us, to be burned when the statute of limita•
Lions has toads toy title Irrefragable. Will
you sign such a paper y"
Will you sign a counter-promise never to
disclose the efforts I have made to enforce
your fulfilling the condition of the will I"
" ; to be held binding unless you break
your& •
'• Bring tho ink and pumper, then, Adolphus.. "
The two instruments were speedily signed,
settled, and exchanged.
" New," "said Adalphuit, "let us forget all
past' differences. Here is joy hand. Conic
and let me show you the improvements."
As they rose the young man gave a long,
shrill whistle, which was followed by a patter.
ing of feet on the other side of the partition.
Ho led 'Mr. Ilnfi•nm to the further door of the
room, threw it open, and said, with a malicious
twinkla • •
"EnterL—improrementa
There, in the doorway, stood Mrs. Burr!II,
and 11. heautiful•young woman whom Mr. Bur
font had never seen before.
'• flicks: My' Adel ! lire. • Burrill !
And wheat have we here besides, Adolphus
" You i.e.:i l logical man ; do us yoti'm KO
often told. 1110 /Or' Draw:your conclusions.' "
" Miss Lottie Burrill ?"
"Shrewd • guess, and not so far out or the
way for three months ego. • 'By the present
almanac, however, wrong. 'Mrs. Adolphus
Shearamwth, Mr. 13utrutn. "
"lOu . you lay rgacqll Married, and without
illy consent?"
None'of that, Sir I Did you seek mine
Make friends and ask no questions."
"My dear Mrs. Adolphus I lam so charmed
to meet you that I don't knock your husband
down I Well, well I Upon my soul, Adol
phus, I can't blame you—not having seen Miss
Lumley, I should have done the'same myself I
No offence to you, Mrs„ 'Dolph. You know
I've nm away with your hushand's first wife
already I" • •
• • ROBERT IREDELL,
Vain anti Sang! 21ob Vrintir,
No. 47 EAST HAMILTON STREET,
ELEGANT PIUNTINGI
NSW DBSIONSh,
LATEST STY Ve i l
Stamped Checks , Cards, Circulars, Vapor Books, CP till
lotions .d 11..1.aw5, School Catalogues, 1.1111 Heads
Buvolopes, Letter Heads Bills of Lading, Way
Bills, Tags and Shipping Cards, Postors MO'
sin, etc., etc., Printed at lihort Notice 4
ISO. 36
" Yes ' ,Mr. Maim ; and the humanity you
showed by it does you great honor. We've
known of that this great while I" And Mrs.
Adolphus took her husband's guardian laugh
ingly by the hand.
" Known it this good while? Why, what
do you mean by that?"
"Just what she says," answered Adolphus.
"You don't happen to enjoy the acquaintance
of a erson named Poproy, do you ?"
"I've met him," replied Mr. 8., dryly.
" He was an old schoolmate of nine before
I went to Aristotle Cottage. When you wrote
me you were going to Long Branch, and ex
pected to see Miss Lumley there, I remembered
that his family always summered at Laird's,
and wrote him, asking to be kept informed of
your movements. Fancy my astonishment
when a letter came announcing the authentic
watering-place rumor that von are the accepted
lover of Miss Lumley ! t' got ready for you,
•ou may be sure !"
"Oh, the young dog!" ejaculated Mr. Be
eh Ihnhn.
"Oh no ! For Miss Lumley's sake you can
afford to be very generous to poor little Poppy!
And now, wire and mother, let's take Guardy
in to dinner!"
In the visits which °llea Missouri's wealth
iest and most influential young planters makes
yearly to Aristotle Cottage, with his wife,
mother-in-law, and a youth in dimity bibs,
baptiied " 13u Iln m Lumley," the three women
become all the more Intimate friends as they
laugh over with each other their once so com
plicated relations. As for the men, they are
more' than brothers. It Is a standing joke, at
the dinners which celebrate those happy re
unions, for somebody to ask B. B. which,
from the human and emotional point of view,
he prefers—Love or Logic ; and it is said that
he invariably waves his hand at the beautiful
woman sitting opposite him, and, although
not so dogmatic us we found him in our earlier
chapters, replies, in logical terms, "Draw
your Conclusions !"
A Fkw 71fAxiNts FOR GlRM—Never make
your appearance in the morning without
having first bathed, if only with a sponge and
a quart of water, brushed and arranged your
hair, and dressed yourself neatly and com
pletely. Keep your clothing, especially your
auder•cloehing, In perfect order. Never let
pins do duty as buttons, or strings take the
place of proper bands.
Examine every garment when it conies from
the wash, and, if necessary, mend it with
neatness and precision. Do not sew up the
holes in your stockings, as we have seen same
careless untidy girls do ; but take in a broad
margin around the hole, be It small or large,
with a fine darning needle and darning cot-•
ton, and cover the fracture with an interlaced
stitch so close as to be as strong as the body of
the stocking; and fine enough to be ornamen-
•
Stockings mended in this way need darning
but a few times in the course of their exist
ence.
Never carry coarse embroidered or laced
'handkerchiefs. Fine, plain ones are much
more ladylike. .
Avoid open-worked stockings and very
fancy slippers. Fine, plain white hose and
black kid slippers, with only a strap or rosette
in front,. are more becoming.
Train yourself to some useful occupation.
Remember it is wicked to waste time, and
nothing gives such an impression of vanity
and absolute silliness as a habit of idling rind
never having anything to do.
you are in your father's house, take some
department of household labor upon yourself,
and a part of the sewing, and make it, your
business to attend to it. Do not let a call
from this idle girl, or a visit from that, or an'
Invitation front the other, Interfere with the
performance of your duty.
Let your pleasure come in as the recreation,
not as the business of your life.
If you want to marry, do not court or try
to attract the attention of gentlemen. ARUM
wholesome indifference, real or assumed, will
be much more likely to accomplish the object.
Consider, moreover, that it is better to lw a
woman than a wife, and do not degrade your
sex by making your whole existence turn on
the pivot of matrhuony.
If you can, cultivate to perfection some art
by, which you can gain an independent liveli
hOod: Do it whether there is necessity Mr it
or not. Do it quietly, if you will, lmt do it.
There is no telling when or under what cir
cumstances you may need it.—Deniorest.
HA ERoAD exit S( 'ENE
The ('olumbia Spy says the following Inci
dent occurred on out of the trains at' Beading
mid Columbia Railroad :
" I say, conductor, do you know who that
good-looking lady io there with a hook ?"
" Yes, I've seen her a few times."
" By. love ! she's splendid.' •
" Yes, I think she is splendid."
" Where does Rile live'"
" In Reading, I believe.'
"I'd like to occupy that scat with her." •
" Why don't you ttsk her
" I did not know but It would he out of
order."
"lt would not-he if she was willing to have
you occupy it. Of course you claim to by -a
gentleman."
"Oh I certainly. If yon are acquainted with
her give me an introduction ; that is, if you
have no objections.'•
• "Certainly not."
Fixing his hair .thimstache and whiskers in
becoming style, he Ihllmvetl the co nductor,
who on reaching the seat where the lady sat,
said, with a peculiar to inkle in the eye.
"My Mr.-, Lancaster
,who
assures me he will die Lrliire reaching the
Junction if he does not Mon your aeon:dn.
tance."
The gentleman stammered, stuttered, grew
red in the face, faltered Out 3000 excuse,
and returned to his seat, leaving the lady in
company with her husband to enjoy the joke,
OvEntronit.—Few men die of overwork..
It is a emise to which disease and death are
often ascribed—but wrongly. Examine any
ease closely, and you will find some other Ml
son ; the man smoked too much, or he drank,
or he starved himself on the vegetarian theo
ry, or he ate immoderately and took no exer
cise, or he lacked skill to perform the duties
or labors he had 'assumed, and broke down
from worry. One great cause 6r sudden ill•
health remains to be noticed, and that is good
fortune. Let any man come into the-posses
sion of nn Independence, and he is pretty sure
to break down, and go to Europe Mr his
health. Such an accident more quickly Im
pairs the energies and saps the health than
anything else. We could mention dozebei of
cases of eminent professional men who "broke
down" at the precise moment when they
could afford it, and who would have laughed
at ill-health a dozen years longer; if only pov
erty had stood at their doors.-- EreininAßll.
CusTostEit. "A slight mourning hat-hand,
if you plume ?"
FAB!' lONAIME I !ATTER. "What relation,
Sir ?"
CusToMn "Wife's uncle."
HATTER.. "Favorite uncle, Fir?"
CUSTOMER. "UM—Well—yea."
HATTER. "MelO.lollSd in the Will, Sir?"
CUSTOMER (bitterly). ' " No such hick."
'Damn (to his clerk briskly.) "Couple o'
inches, Tim."
RUALL tell you how it vas. I puts mine
111111(1 on mine head and (lei° vas von pain.
Then I puts my hand on mine pody and dere
Yas anoder. may
1 put my hand in mine
pocket and dere vas another. So I Jined mid
de leMpemnce. 'Now' there Is no more pain in
mine head, the pain in mine poly you all gone
away. I put mine hand In mite pocket, dere
vas twenty dollars. So I stay mid de toliper
once."
Tint following cnn ho read: uo tut to make
uunse, but It takes acute individual to find out
hoW. Jutit try It :
AN auctioneer, while engaged in his voca
tion thus exalted the merits of 'a carpet :
"Gentlemen and ladies, some folks sell car
pets far Brussels, but I cab most positively
assure you that this elegant article was made
by 'Mr. Brussels himself."
ortrAine.
tGLENTOWN. PA
I thee read bee that me,
Love la up will I'll have
But that and you have you'll
One and down and you, If.