The Lehigh register. (Allentown, Pa.) 1846-1912, June 30, 1869, Image 1

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    • ADVERTIBING RATES.
S. 1 mo. 3 Mos. 6 mos. Iyr.
Due Sqnare, . . ' I.EO 1.73 aa) 4ro io.co
rwe Bquares. . . 8.00 6.60: 10.01 3003
Three Squares . . 4.6 0 0.01 8.03 16.03 4200
Stu squares.. . . 8.03 15.00 511.03 40.011
quarter Column. • 23.03 45.01) 00.00
MO( Column . • . • 15.01 9260 50.011 80.00
Ono Column 25.00 50.05 WOO 130.00
Professional Cards IILOO per line per year.
Administrator's and Auditor's Notices, 33.03.
CET Notices, 10 cents per lino Ist Insertion. 15 vents par
ties each subsequont insertion.
, Ten lines agate constitute a square.
ROBERT IREDELL, in., PUBLISHER,
. .
ALLENTOWN, PA.
Moo it ft otteco.
DICKENS'S WORKS FOR THE
FIRST TIME COMPLETE.
The publication of Braider Humphrey's Clock, for the
Omit thee In America, by Hurd & Houghton, makes their
eilltione tho only complete omit In the market,
MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK
consists of the chapters originally connectal with the
"Old Curioeity shop" and ••Ilartiaby nudge," and I.
now reprinted for tha Aral time in America, nor eau it be
obtained in any of the current English editions. in these
chaptera, Mr. Pickwick reappears, as do also Mr. Weller,
Ham,, the immortal grandfather . third Weller, volume als o an epitome of his In this volume also
ePfroar
ADDITIONAL CIIRIBTMAS STORIES,
not Inclndod In the previous collodion of this Berle' com.
Kldgpf Seven PoojiTcalrolfrs /. ,yal d folly !n i n e rola.
Legacy, drilarlac r ll l 4 n itlecrlpllof, ° ituab7 Ju r t r ic r ign!
Aloe, a
General Index of Characters and Clete Appear-
aces,
outdo enormity for tiara & Ifonahlon's cantata, more
than eighty pages long, and enabling ono at once to find,
as lu a directory. the mime and place of every ono of Mr.
Monona's Invention. To thin in added an
Index of Fictitiorut Places, Familiar Sayings, etc.,
rendering Hurd and Houghton's edit ions thoroughly
furnished, anti the only complete ones in the mar
ket. The Indexes were compiled with Brent core
by Mr. W. A. Wheele s
r, the
c welt known editor
IVebster' Di.
MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK. ilommuctbn EDITION.
Ono vol., lamo. price SI 60 ,
RITREISIDN Emmy, One TOI. Crown 8,0. Cloth, $2 60.
TILE UNCOMMERCIAL TRAVELER (only complete
collection in America). ~110amatorat Sumas. One
vol. lamo. Cloth, $1 25.
RIVRTRION EDITION. One vol. crown Ivo. Cloth, 112.
THE UNCOMAIERCIAL • TRAVELER AND MASTER
HUMPHREY'S CLOCKr 2 vole. In ono. Otani Eel.
VON. 12mo. $l6O.
Tun lIMINDIIOLD EDITION. 111118ITSDNI by Maley end 011-
bort, 64 vol.. lamo. Meted engraving.. $125 For vol.
11111 EDITION, with over five hundred Dinars
lebz entd 6 Amorlan ao sailste. 213 vols. crown
Bvo Tim ()LOIN EDITION, ltllr barb's L e & rilbort'e Mutts..
lions. 14 vols.l2cio. 64 steel engravings. $1 leper vol.
Any set or elnglo !Own° sent on 'receipt of advorlbsod
price, by the pnblbMalit
HURD k HOUGHTON.
, . . kW Broome Street Now York.
POE BALB BY ALL Boommu,kßs.
OKAULES DICKENS -HANS AN
DEEM.
THE RIVERSIDE MAGAZINE
FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
Hurd and Houghton's Editions of Dickens's Works
are Vi atilt complete ones in the market.
1 (MORE EDITION.. In l 4 colt. 14mo, containing all
the Illustrations by Darloy and Gilbert. $1.05 a volume.
11. RIVERSIDE EDITION. la 29 vole., crown 1340,
containing all the illustrationeby Darley and Gilbert, and
Mow by the celebrated English artlett Crulkehank, Plitt
Ot 2. 2 l° lta oteole. law°.
Ran:
talnlng all the Illustrations by varloy aid Gilbert. II.TO
TV. U TIROB i'APBR EDITION. In dive 8 o, large
waver, with all the illuatrallona bi the !livened:Edition
proorimprustone. 'Sold to oribacribent at 45.40 a volt
lame.
lTiz i ttntaln matter by Yr. Dickens that Ii In no
other In
2. They attl l gil Index of Charattere end their
I° 3r . YheintrindlteroWatrilf:rrtrallengsECCiill !thou/.
The MOBS d Non . of Dickens's Works is now
complete in 14 cols.
IT IS TUN BEST CHEAP EDITION ON TDB GLOBE,
I. The paper isgood, the print clear, and the type of •
alto that will not Wore the eyealght.
S. The 'volumes are booed In extra cloth, and are of •
convenient site and shape.
3. It has all the illustrations by Dario y and Gilbert. •
4. The price to gl.OO for • volume of 1200 pages.- IMO
the set.
oaPt 'OlL.Any
(ce. aohime. or the eel. rent freely . expenfe on re
of Pr
HOW TO OBTAIN A BET OF GLOBE DICKENS
WITHOUT EXPENDING ANY MONEY.
The Publishers of this Ealiion publish also Tan RI van-
BIDE MAO/AIRE FOR YOONOPROPLR. anillustyatentuiknth
lArth Iffe . raTo " , moat especial
minent Writer for
the oung. For send apls of sixteen now subscriband
$40.0a they.will tote Of OXPORSO A COMPLIITR inn Or
Tull LOUR DICKENS.
A MAGAZINE FOR NOTHING
Any boy -or rl who will sand the names of four sub.
scribers
cues of
!turdal rocelvo a
•
tor one year froo.
Catalogues of and Naughton Publications son
tree or Postego to any address. Address
RIIRD & 1101:1011TON,
41.7) Broome &root, Now York
SUMMER READING.
HURD & HOUGHTON'S
LIST OF
CHOICE BOOKS
Nora.—Aar book Publisbed by HURD in novolvroN.
eto Broome atroe. N. Y.. eeer by Mord. Dorian*
waylaid. on recolpt of the advertised prim •
1. DIMMER. Life, Letters and Posthumous Work.
Predrika Drainer. Edite
they her sister. Charlotte
Bremer. Tranelated from Swedish by Freda /Allow.
In one vol., crown 6vo. Cloth, ML
"We have ended so much from this charming volume
that we have no room for further quotations, but it is a
book to be read."—Bsaminer. London.
2. THE OPEN POLAR 'SEA. Popular edillon. By
Isaac I. Hayes, N. D. With nine illustration. on
wood, and a map. 1 vol. post 800. Oloth, fa
Pine edition, embellished with six full-Page
lions, drawn by Barley, White and others, from Dr.
Ilayee's aketches; three fall-page chart.; twenty*
eight vignette.. and a flue portrait of the author,
raved on Wei. 1 vol., 13vo, Price, 23 7.5; half-calf
"Tit hat we have said of Dr. !faros' book wetru ts,
send man readers to its page.. The doctor's herelem la
remarkable,
and he well deserves to be bracketed with
the late Dr. Kane in Arctic honors."—London Atha.
%mum.
a. SKETCHES ABROAD . WITH PEN AND PENCIL.
By Felix O. C. Darley. With 13 full-paged and 74
smaller illustrations on wood. A new edition with
three additional vignette., and printed en toned_ paper.
In 1 vol. Do. Price incloth, la 60; cloth gilt, Ni In 9.
• . I. l.ll"fi e riute dI) , Mr. Barley Is the boat draughtsman in
donenited State.; andjudgin anywhere hat be has bore
he can have no superior His design. are
engraved by accomplished gallant in the bent style of art,
and taking these, together with his ` own entirely natural
knowerffected dethription of wha we
shouldr, we
no similar production which we be willing
to recommend so unreservedly. "—Boston Courier.,
6. OLD ENGLAND 1 Its Scenery.
_Art and People. By
James IC Professor in Yale College. 1 vol.,
16tno. Price
'This book has e advantage of concisely and en tat
teeny pointing ant many comparatively neglected o acts
f interest and source of Information and pleasure. Old
England' is Just the book for the departing traveler to put
in his pocket to refresh hie memory and make suggestive
his tour. "—Boston Transcript.
6. ITALIAN JOURNEYS, By William D. Howelia.
exalter of " Venatisn Life." 1 vol., crowu6vo. Price
"Thera Is no writer of travels in our day so simple, _._
oore. enloyable and profitable. "—Brooklyn Union.
It Is not so much what Mr. Howell. sees a. what he
p res that give s his reader. the sense. 'when they have
finished his book., of bevies boon lingering over *charm.
. guarrattve.'"—Manton Poet.
A VENETIAN LIFE t Including Commercial._ Social,
Historical and Artistic Notice of the Place. By Wm.
D. Howells. 1 vol.. crownbvo. Price. extra cloth,rt.
"Probably no book of the season has given so much de
light as Mr. 'Lowell.' Venetian Life,' Mr. Howell.
' has brodnced a volume which ia worthy to stand with
Irving's Alhambra.' "—Hartford Press.
• 7, REMINISCENCES OF EUOPEAN TRAVEL. By
Andrew I'. Peabody. D. B. Lb. D., Preacher to Mar.
ward University. Price 21 60.
"On art, architecture, laws, manners and /society his
criticisms are discriminating, kindly and often original;
pad the yolame contain. more Information, less spite anot, ,
Moro mild souse, (him many of far greater sire an preteu
id " —ti Ute NUM Ileogew, Landon,
A TWO THOUSAND MILES ON 1101tSIWIkCE. Santa
Fe and Back, A Summer Tour thropghlaansa., Ne
braska, Colorado and New Mexico, in the Year 1936.
Ry Col. Jas, yp, mewls, vol., crown Ova. Price ca.
good traveler, and combining the disciplined
mind of a student with the training of an army °Meer, is
well qualified to give an opinion upon what he observe*.
Ills mode of traveling has furnished . him with excellent
op derail.). fogcareful observation nd with a neat vs.
rieli of adventure In the prairle."—Stalutartl, New fled
fo Nate.
9, THE HAND-BOOK !OR MOTHERS. A °nide in the
Caro of Young Children. llp Edward 11. Parker, M.
D. A now edition, In one volume. Mao. Cloth,
The volume answers authoritatively all the questions
which mothers are eonthine i l i l e y coking, end remove. lho
" Ak : r ym md evi b : , / with which which t
great practical value, and r r:ects se,
general a want, that there would seem to be no reason why
ll should not be coneldered a necessity in every family.
—Boston Daily Transcript.
10. WOMAN IN PRISON. By Caroline H, Woods. In
1 vol.. Moo. Cloth, al
Mrs, Wood's re of the WO Of 4 Malian a State Pd.
atm. ls anaderned fool.
11 THE DIARY OF A MILLINER. By Belie Oils
ICaroline H. Woods). In one volume. lame. Cloth,
1 .
• ".A marl milliner Otis ,' many • Ina' story. •A
smart milliner la 'Bell and that Is Just what she
does. Her narrative has all the vivacity and piquancy
• which belong to woman. Now It sends a keen Mart. and
then follows a sally of exquisite humor."—Albany Rx
prESl.
12. ESSAYS ON ART. By Francis Turner Palgrave,
late Fellow of Exeter College, Oxford. One vol., Kam,
red cloth, gilt tope. Price 91 71.
" Mr. Palaravo's canons of art are eminently catholic,
free from any tendency to sensationalism; and, though his
examples are confined chiefly to the current emulation. of
British culture, his motives are general, hi. reasoning
broad, and his style of expression is such as Carries the
weight of authorlty."—Buston Post
13. THE ART IDEA ; Sculpture. Painting and Architec
ture In America. BJames Jackson Jerre.. 1 vol.,
Pried $1
, lamb, cloth. 72.
"The volume deserves the careful study of Intelligent
amateurs of ail i -and, hatever difference of opinion It
may call forth, its deta il , will be found of ram interest
' and folio( Instructive suggeattona."—Neur York Tribuna.
IMPORTANT TO tiKIPPEBS
AND NIANUPAG7DBFM3.
DENNISON'S AND LOCI WOOD'S
TAGS AND SHIPPING CARDS
AT MANUFACTURERS' PRICES.
=EICI:1
REGISTER OFFICE
, ~
~, , r 4 ,
~,
egii. , fte 4, .
0..., , h
-- ' , r, 1 3 C
'1414./- )11,
VOL. XXIII.
Mg Gatos.
WHAT THE PAPERS .
SAY O*F US!
Wo have good news for our readers this week.
One of the celebrated Foster Brothers, the great
dry goods merchants of Now York City, Is coming
to do business among us. They promise ns a
New York stock of goods at Now York prices. •
Read their advertisement. It has the true ring
about it. We believe they mean what they say.
Wo welcome them among us, and promise them
our hearty thanks if they will persist In the war
they have declared upon high prices.—Allentown
Democrat.
Foster had a big rush at his opening on Monday.
The whole population seemed to be there to secure
the greatest bargains ever before offered. Enter
prise Is stamped everywhere and ho Is sure to suc
ceed, though he sells goods at smaller profits than
they do anywhere this side of New York. The
rush still continued yesterday, continues to-day,
and will ever continue so long as people have a
chance to get so much for their money. Every
thought Is of Foster, and no man In Allentown Is
more talked of by the fair sex. Goods sold for
greenbacks at gold prices.—Lehigh Register.
Wo advise our readers to go to Foster's for their
dry goods. They are Now York men and will sell
you goods at Now York prices.—Allentown
FWe
denebete. '
"I saved seventeen dollars on ono Poplin dress
I bought at Foster's the other day." So WO heard
a lady saying recently.—Lehigh Patriot.
Henry Ward Beecher once told a gentleman to
"follow the crowd" if he desired to find his 'way
to his (Beecher's) church. The way to Foster's
New York Store is found In the same way.—lnde
pendent Republican.
YOBTER.—Foster has made good his promises.
He has most decidedly "revolutionized the Allen
town Dry Goods trade." Wo are just finding out
what exorbitant prices we have been paying for
dry goods in Allentown. Foster actually sells
many goods for half the price we have been paying
for them. The crowd at his store is as great us
over, and of all who have been there to trade we
have yet to hear of a single person in any way
disappointed with his purchase.—Allentown Demo
crag.
We hear that there has been a tremendous ex
citement in the Dry Goods trade In Allentown,
during the past week. Foster's New York City
Store, just opened, has been fairly packed wilt
people. They are selling goods at about half the
prices othbr merchants charge for them. One of
two things is true ; either our merchants In this
locality have been charging us outrageous profits,
or else Foster, at Allentown is selling lees than
cost. As he says be le making money even at his
low prices, we are forced to accept the first conclu
sion, and we think it but right to advise all our
people to go to Allentown to trade with Foster—at
least till other merchants conform to the new order
of things which this Now York City Store has es
tablished there.—Carbon Democrat.
We wish to say to our readers that they need
have no fear of being deceived by the advertise
ments of Foster's Now York Store at Allentown.
They will always sell as they advertise.—Mating
ion News.
We don't wish to flutter Mr. Foster. We have
no "axe to grind," for he advertises with us al
ready. But we cannot help saying that hots ben
efiting every kind of business in Allentown. He
Is bringing tho people in from every direction. RIB
store is literally packed much of the time.—Lehigh
Register.
On our own account we wish simply to say that every
article ;resell we warrant to be as tow, and in ninety
nine cases out of a hundred lower than it can be
bough; for elsewhere. „
FOSTER'S
NEW YORK CITY STORE,
Opposite Oermau Reformed Church,
212 NORTH MILISETAUIET,
♦ NEW AND NLEDANT LOT OF
HAMBURG EDGINGS AND INSERTING%
Together with a full earl/ of goods In their 800 Bat re
carted at LRMAIsTRF.& 081.
Pl!tp and litntie
SWISS MULL.
Tarlatans, Tacked Naineooks, and French Malin..
Soft and hard finished Cambric* and Jaconets, Bobinots,
Wash Blood.. illusions for Bridal Vella.
Lace and Embroidered Curtain., and Curtain lace from
auction. and VERY CHEAP.
for v e.z:v . gc,:tt. N Llg rt ntrvo r yt ll gg,..... d o k d ar . e ng
tizt:':r.iniza.." Crochet, Valencia English and
German Thread and CI niunrejuroal and !madden, Cinny,
Black and White Bilk Jo.
Fine Linen and Lace Collar, and Cuffs In all etylos,
Piqua Braid, Daley . .. Dimity. Dingle and Coventry Eta
dings, Empress and Metternich Frillinge, &e.
A large and moat noted stook of Linen and NottlngLain
Tes, Toilet Mats, In eels, at 91 cents.
Loon Jaconet Edging., 1 yards at 21, 21 and 30 cents.
Pufflngs and Shined Muslin.,
Pinto on,
and Linen Hhirt Fronts. Handsome and
cheap Embroidered Infant Waists. npr
14-ly
ffor tbe 3Labies.
)
..4. ------- - 4 ...."'
• A', a' . .2 - .--..-- '. •
1 4
\ fi• i l i , k• - •• - t. - _ , .-_,•
1 , 3 i -.- 7? ', •
HOWE SEWING MACHINE
Aliraya on hand and Awash. by
EDWARD DESHLER, AGENT,
NO. Al BAST HAMILTON STREET,
aarnaaacaei
Henry Lob. Jr., Boot and Shoo Hanufffturer.
John Farr,
Seaton & Dante). "
• Hiller, &brother Co.. MercbantTallors.
plunds & Koim.
Wru. K. Ainey, President Second National Bank,
Dr. B. F. Jacoby. Deutiot.
J. R. Dlllincer, Attorney.at.Law.
rh.. B. Metzger; . •
R. Clay Hamersly, ••
Hay-261y.
LADIES' GOODS.
The noleityles are already received at
MRS. M. A. 0. aULDIN'S
Ladle.' Trim*log Store. The (emblem, aro pretty. Ladlce,
call and SOCIAiIeI3I. Hoop Balch, are cheaper than In cheap
limes-90 reap, well made, ♦l le; Wearing+ at el 73.
sear 2.1.4
•
LADIES' DRESS TRIMMINGS
PAPER PATTERNS.
L G. MAXWELL
IMPORTER AND MANUFACTURER,
BOOTH EAST Cas t or ELEVENTH end CHESTNUT St...
I= a
Offers the balance of hte Mock of the boat makes of Cor-
Nets at the following very low prices: Clonutne Wetly
Corsets, 19; regular price, gland IA Floe French Snapped
Corsets, $1 t regular price, g3ood St Pica French Oral'
Snapped Corsets, 750. i regular price, V.
He idea calls attention to LI. stook of novelties la
LADIES' DRESS AND COAT TRIMMINGS.
Cowartolng ovorythlng now and dostrablo In that lino.
tithe •
PATTERN DEPARTMENT
will be found • full assortment of elegantly trimmed PA
PER PAITERNI3, ovary one of which Is new, for Ladles,
Rises, and Children's Garments, of every description g
for sale:Trimmed or Plain, singly or la sets, Wholesale
and Reet{ai~l. li Pallente cent by Mall or Express to any Part
of the United Slate..
. .
An easy system of Dress Calling taught, and Chaste for
sale.
Small Canes order. and Pinking and Qolferint aneeuted
at a few hours' notice.
Customers gain one or two pronto over those of any
other establishment, In better quality or lower price., by
dealing at the .
• HOUTH NAST Corner
ILEVENTII and 0111.13TNUT Sts. •
aprYlNStrt
GEORGE ORALfAND PRODUCE
COMMISSION & SHIPPING MERCHANT
No. Ita South Water Gt.. Chicago. 111.
ggirParitenlar attention given to Eastern 043:lents
•
REP Chi HIIIINCES:
0. W. Batts &Bro., cago; /Mager Bro., Allentown.
Pa. g Ca t . Erdman. Centre Valler i3 Pa. t Wm. Hackett.
Caabler Radon (Pl.llan g Bonne Dusenbury C0..101
Weat.st., New Tarim Ilnahotor at ro. i
.toli g nU t at i VeTtN, I &liar ' I,a=l .
comity,Ps.; Joseph Holnlesr. Eiseelland Cedre. lowa.
sag In•IY
•
WHAT THE ENGINES SAID.
A writer, describing the meeting of the two
first locomotives on the Pacific Railway, said
"the two locomotives moved up until their
pilots rubbed together, symbolic of the friend
ly salute of their respective owners," but lie
did not hear, or did not describe
WHAT TILE ENGINES. SAID!
What was It the engine Bald,
Pilots touching—head to head
Faclog on the single track,
Halt a world behind each back
This la what the engines said,
Unreported and unread!
With a prefatory screech,
In a florid Western speech,
Said the Engine from the WEST
" I am from Sierra's crest ;
And, If altitude's a test,
Why, I reckon, Its confessed,
That I've done my level beet."
Said the Engine from the EAST
"They who Work best talk the least,
'Spose you-whistle down youbbrakes ;
What you've done is no great shakes;
Pretty fair—but let our meeting
Be a different t Ind of greeting,
Let these folks, with champange stuffing,
Not their Engines, do the miffing.
Listen ! Where Atbintie beats
Shores of snow and Summer heats ;
Where the Indian Autumn skies
Paint the words with wampum dyes
Seeing all he looked upon—
Blessing all that he lms blest—
Nursing in my Iron breast
All his vivifying heat,
All his clouds about my crest ;
And before my flying feet,
Every shadow must retreat.
Said the Western Engine, "Pew !"
And a long, low whistle blew.
" Come now, really that's the oddest
Tall for one so very modest— •
Yon brag of your East! you do !
Why /bring the East to you!
All the Orient—all Cathay—
Find through me the shortest way.
Anahe sun you follow• here,
Rises In my hemisphere.
Really—if one must be nide—
Length, my friend, abut longitude."
Bald the Union: "'Don't reflect, or
I'll run over more Director."
Said the Central: "I'm Pacific,
But when riled, I'm quite terrific.
Yet to-day, we shall not quarrel
Just to show these folks this moral,
Dow two Engines—in their vision—
Once have met without collision."
Thut is what the Engines said,
Unreported and unread.
Spoken slightly through the nose,
With a whistle id the clone.
MR. WHITING'S MISTAKE
A. women in a calico dress, with a towe
pinned over her hair, upon the upper balcon
of a square stone house ; and a man stool
brushing the dust and specks from his coat
upon the balcony below. The woman was
Bridget Geoakes, and the man was Paul Whit-
Now it happened that just beyond the
church, dolin a side street, was a little, low
wing growing upon the body of a painted
wooden house ; and hero lived ➢Liss Alma Die
brow,n worthy maiden with frost-bitten curls
who always wore a rustling black silk gown,
a heavy gold chain and an eye glass.
ALLENTOWN, PA
Miss Disbrow's fatherhad been unfortunate
enough to be a pioneer in this part of the lake
country, so long ago as when the Governor's
wife rode to church in a tip-cart drawn by
oxen, and when the town was lighted with
glow-worms instead of gas.
But his daughter, Miss Alma, was fortunate
enough to live so lately as when the most de-
sirablo street of a flourishing commercial city
ran directly through the heart of her father's
swamp lands. And still later, when in token
of her being unmarried, and an only daughter,
she came into possession, by her father's will,
of the principal part of his rich inheritance.
• Upon that, turning her back upon all aspir
ing adventurers, and shutting her eyes against
her brother's longing boys and girls, she gave
the best located lots of the whole for ft church
and rectory,•and then, throwing out this mod
est wing from the luihse of her youngest and
least disliked brother, she settled herself down
in it to sit and look all day at her bountiful
gift. -
But Miss Alma had eyes as sharp as a brass
pin ; the better to see with, my dear ; so be
side the high stone church she perceived a
great many things. And upon this particular
morning she sat in her Parker-rocker, rustling
and rocking with her eye-glass in one hand
and the morning paper in the other. On the
leather cushion of an old arm-chair, by the
sunniest window, sat her confidential friend,
a black dog with a white face, Benjamin. This
dog had a great deal more consideration, and
many more privileges than her brother's
childrbn ; and it was into his pointed cars Miss
Disbrow, who had not another weakness in
the world, (unless in the matter of a front
tooth or so) bad the habit of dropping every
thing she thought, or knew, o• guessed. And
the dog Benjamin, as a man Benjamin might
not have done, always listened without inter
ruption, and never repeated a thing she said.
"Benjamin," cried out Miss Disbrow, so
suddenly that the dog jumped upon his feet,
"as true as you are born, Mrs. Baby has only
this moment come to help about clearing up
after the church social: Well now, Igo say,
if that is not real mean I Just come! When
there she is boarding, with nothing under the
stars to do, not even to make her own bed ;
and poor, little Mrs. °reeling, with her Six
children, and all her house-keeping cares, has
been here hard at work fully half 'an hour.
cannot stand such shirking; lazy ways—l de
clare I can't I"
Benjamin yawned and stretcheir
and Miss Disbrow moved her chair nearer the
window, and looking out at the clouded sky,
the brown-touched trees, and the wet walk,
she saw presently the figures upon the two
piazzas of the square stone house at the corner.
By that time the ladies were through with
their work of clearing up the vestry, and had
gone clattering home in their high-heeled
boots, and scrub women and boys had done
all their running out and in, and slopping
about with pails of water, and the old white
bearded sexton, in his round, steel-bowed
glasses, that made him look like a gray owl,
had locked the door, and gone to his day's
work sawing wood, at one of the grand houses
In the avenue. Bo Miss Disbrow had plenty
of time to turn her observation and her eye-'
glass towards her neighbor's balconies. To
toll the plain truth, between you and me and
Benjamin, Miss Disbrow had for some time
felt that the Whiting family needed more
12=3111
ALLENTOWN, PA., WEDNESDAY MORNING, JUNE 30, 1869
task being so hopeless, and Miss Disbrow went
EMZI
"But Bridges Geoakes—she is a reckless
thing—l've long seen that and wondered Mrs.
Whiting kept her so—she has been and left a
pillow on the balcony railing. Went off and
left it I Of course the wind took it, and so
there it lies, ruffling, embroidery and all, right
down in the gutter, liable to bei3tolen by every
passer-by. Now, Benjamin, would you, or
wouldn't you, go over and tell them?"
Benjamin's face, about ono eye, was black,
and the mat of the face being entirely white,
this gave him a peculiar knowing expression
when he cocked up that eye, as he bad a way
of doing. And now he turned his black eye
upon Miss Disbrow, with quite the appearance
of winking it at her. Perhaps, indeed, he did.
Anyhow, there was evidently some invisible
freemasonry between them, for Miss Disbrow
instantly responded, just as though he had
spoken :
" Well, then, 1 will, Benjamin. Why aro
we put into this world together if not to help
each other ?" said she, as with an air of virtu
ous responsibility she threw a little maize col
ored rigolette over her weather-beaten curls
and a white breakfast shawl over her shoulders.
Then' putting on her gloves; with' the dignity
of a circumnavigator, she started across the
street.
One might fancy she would pick up the un
fortunate pillow upon the way, but no—l hope
she was above meddling with her neighbors'
things I Certainly ! She walked impressively
to the door and rang the bell, which was In
staidly answered by Mr. Whiting himself,
with a carpet-bag. in his hand, and his bat up
on his head.
" Going away, arc you?" said Miss Disbrow,
diverted, for the time, from her original er
rand by an opportunity of inserting the wedge
of inquiry.
"Ah ! Miss Disbrow Yes, lam going to
Chicago, on a little business trip. Won't you
come in?"
"'Thank you, Mr. Whiting, not this morn
ing. Does your wife accompany you?"
"No, she doesn't. She is going to Cincin
nati for a few days," replied. Mr. Whiting,
who was guileless as a spring chicken, and not
more of a mouthful for the maneuvering black
fox, who had always found a great deal more
flavor in anything she had first unearthed by
skillful digging. "You had better conic in,"
continued he, cordially. "Mrs. Whiting Is
busy packing, but she will be glad to see you."
And the deluded man really believed so ; for,
although he had lived in such close relation
with Mrs. Whiting for five years, he was only
a man, after all.
But Miss Disbrow was a woman, and so she
knew a great deal better than to be persuaded
that a person is glad to see cullers when pack
ing. "Oh, no indeed, Mr. Whiting I Thank
you ; but I just ran over, in a neighborly way,
to tell you of a little accident I happened to
observe from my window. A pillow fell from
the balustrade where your chambermaid very
carelessly left it, and is now lying upon the
sidewalk. I was fearful it might come to grief
before any of the family might miss it. Good
morning." And so speaking, Miss DisbroW
limed and rustled away.
"Benjamin," said she, mysteriously, when
she reached her own rocking-chair again, "I
cannot see why Mrs. Whiting takes the time
to go to Cincinnati when her husband is away.
It would be my choice not to leave the house
alone with that flighty Bridget Oooakes. Or
then, why not Mrs. Whiting go to-day, while
her •husband is here to see her off? I can't
understand it."
And with this Miss Disbrow fell into a fit of
musing, and mused so long and silently that
Benjamin fell asleep and dreamed be knew
where there was a woodchuck's hole, with the
woodchuck in it.
Meantime Mr. Whiting kissed his wife
(probably), took his valise; and went on, hap
pily unconscious of a cloud no bigger than a
man's band already coming up in his domestic •
sky. Ile thought of no Shadow darker titan
the bank of heavy dampness hanging above
his head in the heavens. And that very even
ing those vaporous clouds, having sulked long
enough over 'the wretched conditiOn of the
muddy streets, made up their mind, and ex
pressed it by coming down In an emphatic
fall of snow, that glided front umbtellas and
drifted against windows, like a slipping off of
great white blankets. By day-dawn the streets
and roofs and steeples were white as a millers
hat, and. the air rang with the scraping of
shovels and jingling of sleigh bells.
"Of course Mrs. Whiting won't think of
starting after a snow, with every prospect of
the roads being blocked. Of course not; Ben
jamin," said Miss Disbrow, seating herself to
the occupation of looking upon the things of
her neighbor with all the eyes of her own, and
all the eyes of her glasses—watching them so
intently that actually a pair of pigeons flew
into the barmy of the church, and a pair of
ragged boys peeped into the vestry windows
without her, knowing it. But her watch was
rewarded, for at precisely a quarter past eley
en a close carriage carne up to Mrs. Whitings'
door.
"As sure as you are born, Benjamin, she
Is going !" exclaimed Miss Disbrow, appa
rently as violently astonished• as though she
had not been looking all the morning for a
sight of this very Carriage. 'And two trunks!
What can the woman want of two trunks,
just going down to Cincinnati for a few days?'
she continued, appearing to suspect the trick
of the Trojan horse. " Well, now, I can't
see why she takes so much baggage. And as
sure as you are made, Benjamin, she has
new traveling suit throughout, hat and all.
A suit of silver grey poplin, with muff and
collar of Astrachan wool, and an Alaska hat.
She looks as girlish as you please," added
Miss Disbrow, bringing her opera glass, which
always lay conveniently near the teapoy, to
bear upon the small figure of her neighbor, whei'
was turning back at the door for a last word
to Bridget ; seeming, as she stood there, to
the naked eye, as cheerful and innocent as a
Burgundy rose.• But, alas, things are not'
what they seem.
"If that woman is ever dissected, I want
to see her heart, Benjamin. I believe she has
no more than , you could put on the polut of a
needle. Ido so," resumed Miss Disbrow,
putting down her glass as the carriage slowly.
ploughed its way along the snowy street, and
taking up the book mark she was embroider
ing for the pulpit Bible.
T 1 • shone, the pigeons whirred past
115'8, the school boys snow balled,
screamed; and the cars rumbled
ded and glided out from the. depot,
lug around the long curve, out be
city limits, and to away into the
iomowhere of the wide world. And
went little Mrs. Whiting, blithe as
, and charming as a Tune morning.
tough she looked so, what if,
she was not simple hearted
,as a
ou know Mrs. ;Whiting over hero
had gone away, Aunt Alma ?" cried out her
niece Moraretta, bursting into tho room that
afternoon in her usual ahrubt way.
" Certainly, niece. Take care, child I Don't
upset that pot of primroses."
Miss Disbrow always miffed a call from
Moraretta, something as one would to see
a calf taking his morning walk among one's
berhenas.
" Moraretta, a 'little more and you
would have throw dovin the shado over
my wax flowers? Did you want any
thing ?" .
" Why, no, Aunt Alma. I just come in ;
that is all. But I was wondering who Mrs.
Whiting went off with, and I thought perhaps
you would know."
"Why, did you see anybody with her?
What do you mean ?" asked Miss Disbrow,
suddenly so interested that she forgot to chide
Moraretto for swinging a pair of scissors by
their ribbon, to the imminent peril of Benja
min's,eyes and of a plerglass.
"Yes, I saw somebody. And so did Bella
Mosier. We were coming through the depot
on our way home from school like we' always
do, when we saw Mrs. Whiting. I saw her
and so did Bella; and just as we said, both
together, 'There is Mrs. Whiting,' a gentle
man came up and kissed her veryaffectionate
ly, and she looked all in a flutter, and so did
he; and then they took the cars for Cleve
land."
"For Cleveland ? Moraretta, are you sure?"
exclaimed Miss Disbrow, in vestal horror.
"Yes, ma'am, sure. That was what Bella
and I thought so queer, for her trunks were
marked Cincinnati ; we stood right by them
and saw the cards. You may ask Bella if it
wasn't so. There she is going"by this min
ute. Bella I Bella, come in I" she cried, run
ning to the window, tapping on it and nod
ding and beckoning.
Miss Disbrow's sense of outraged propriety
was so much shocked by the scandal of Mora
retta's story that she permitted this breach of
decorum and Insult to the dignity of her win
dows without a word, though the window
itself shook all over under the mortification.
But Bella came in, Moraretta in girlish life
and hoydenism as one bramble bush is like
another. And then, out of the mouth of two
witnesses Miss Disbrow was forced to believe.
"Dill you ever see the man before? How
did he look, and how did he appear I" she
asked.
" Oh, ho was perfectly splendid, and he was
dressed elegantly !" cried the enthusiastic
school girls. " But I never saw hint before ;
neither did Betts. I don't thilik he lives here;
he came front the Cincinnati cars. You saw
hint, didn't you, Retta?" said Bella Mosier.
" Yes, of course I did. Andtitcn he look- .
cd around as though he expected to see some
body, till he saw Mrs. Whiting ; and she was
just standing like she was waiting, wasn't she
Bella?"
there, Benjamin, what do you make
of that?" said Miss piebrow, after the girls
had chattered themselves out of the room and
out of the house. Don't you recollect I sus
pected all was not right when I saw those
two immense trunks, and little Mrs. Whiting
herself dressed up like a doll ? I do wish I
knew what to think."
. _
All daylong Miss Disbrow sat putting this
and that together, until the opposite house
grew fairly hideous under the shadow of evil;
and all night long she lay awake upon the
great old-fashioned mahogany bedstead, still
putting this and that together.
By day dawn the next morning, Miss Die,
brow was looking out to see if it had fared
with the grey mansion over night as with the
cities of the plain. But no ; sentence against
an evil work is not executed speedily ; and
there it stood, massive and square, against the
reddening eastern sky. And' at that very
moment she saw Mr. Whiting, with the gen
eral look of unkempt haggardness belonging
a traveler just out of a sleeping car going In
through the stately but dishonored doorway.
" Benjamin I" cried Miss Disbrow, nervous
ly, "he has come home I Perhaps she hiss
left him a note ! Perhaps = 4lll! perhaps he is
reading it now I Oh, Benjamin I Ought I to
go over and tell him what we know ? Ought
I 4"
Benjamin did not reply, but he looked
thoughtful, which was more satisfactory M
the inquirer; and Isliss Disbrow sat down
and rocked, with her face toward the church,
as the Jews in exile turned their feces ton an
Jeruualem
" Benjamin," said she, presently, " I' will
go. It is my duty. The next train to Cleve
land leaves at seven-forty, and there ie not a
moment."
. So'she went. .
Mr. Whiting answered her ring this morn
ing as before, and though he looked a little
surprised at the pntimely call, he seemed now-
Ise agitated or under a cloud.
"Mrs. Whiting has not returned ?" began
the spinster.
"No, ma'am. Ido not expect her before
the last of the week, Is there anything
can do for you, in her absence, 31iss Dis
brow ?" returned the wronged husband.
"Nothing, Mr. Whiting, nothing for me.
Where did I understand you to say Mrs.
Whiting had gone? Could it be Clareland
"No, Cincinnati. She has gone to her sister's
Mrs. Gaegon's ; Perhaps you know her ?" re
plied the unconscious man, wondering to the
tips of his boots why Miss Disbrow was there.
"Another pillow gone over may be, or per-
Imps she has seen Bridget giving cold pieces
to a beggar at the back gate," mused he, lis
tening with a hungry ear for the breakfast
bell.
But his wonder and musings were cut pain
fully short.
" Mr. Whiting,". said Miss Disbrow,. sol
emnly, "I am afraid I have had news for you.:
Your wife did not go to Cincinnati, as you
suppose ; she went to Cleveland. And she
did not go alone."
Mr. Whiting stared helplessly at the speaker
unable on that Instant to take in such dresdfill
tidings.
" What I say is true, Mr: Whiting. I have .
it from parties who saw her go,, She has
gone to Cleveland, and she did not gonlone,"
repeated Miss Disbrow, nodding so wisely she
Might have been an own aunt of Solomon's:
Mr. Whiting was as innocent as a cup of
now milk, but he had asmany nerves as a 'WO
man ; and if ho had not been born a man ho
would certainly have been a blue-bottle fly;
bumping about, restless and distracted.
Therefore, as soon as he bad fairly compre 7
hended Miss Dlsbrow's disgraceful story, ho
was nearly wild. •
"He took it harder than I could , wish, Ben-
jamin. Harder than I could" wish. Poor
man I I don't know when I have pitied any
body so before, and truly, Benjamin, I em
afraid I shall have no appetite for my break
fast ; and you know it is fishballs to-day, and
I am more partial to fish-balls than anything
else. It is to bad !soit is !
And Miss Disbrow 13 ighod, partly for her
own loss, and partly for the loss of her neigh-
" Yes, Benjamin. There ho goes. . Yes—
going to find her; and when ho finds her— .
what then? What then, I ask you, Benja-
ME
Benjamin did not know—he had no means
of knowing—so ho did not tell.
And after smelling at a bottle of camphor,
Miss Disbrow went on : " It does sewn to me
and always has, that if 31r. Whiting had not
been a born idiot, ho might have known bet
tor than to marry such a pretty bunch of lace
and feathers.. But a man is always a fool
about a woman until he marries her."
Millie Miss Disbrow, full of wisdom and
sympathy, talked thus behind her glasses and
her window curtains, Mr. Whitingwent down
:,Vie avenue to the depot, half-frantic with
haste and horrible fancies, blaming himself
miserably as ho went on his miserable way,
for his blindness and carelessness, while a
thousand things overlooked and forgotten
heretofore, straightened themselves in the
light of this shameful
Once in the car, the train, at its swiftest,
seemed to crawl like a sick caterpillar ; and,
oh, how tediously often and long they stopped
at every wood pile and hamlet of shanties
Suddenly they stopped, not much of anywhere
and never started again.
" What is up now ?" cried out Mr. Whiting
impatiently. •
" Nothing is up. A bridge is down," an
swered somebody, in such a provoking cool
tone that Mr. Whiting felt like asking him to
fight., " )Ve have to go around three miles in
a sleigh, and take the train on the other side.
Fine chance for a sleigh-ride," added the con
tented soul, whose wife sat in the seat beside
him, crocheting a very minute sacque.
Sure enough I First an hour of ignomini-
Ons waiting; then the tedioustrunsportation of
five hundred men and women, and each of
their five hundred trunks, over and back. A
cycle of time to a man with a swarm of bees
in his heart.
+ But "all things come round to him who
wait," and at last they steamed off beyond the
broken bridge, slower, though, than over, for
the road was washed, and the train was heavy.
Yet at last the ride ended also, although it was
away through the night, and finally daybreak,
and even broad morning, before the belated
train reached Cleveland.
It vas too early for the street, cars, and be
ing °Mime, there were no coaches in waiting;
so Mr. Whiting started at once to walk to the
residence of his wife's father. ,
The day had broken, rough and windy as
it always is in the beautiful Forest City ; and
the clouded sky frowneil upon the miserable
husband as well as upon the smoky-stained
shops and sloppy sidewitlks. Even Commo
dore Perry' upon his pedestal Lathe park seem
ed to look stonier than ever, as he gazed off
upon the icy lake, with a sort of pity thatfore
bore to look down upon the human wretched
ness he had himself done withyears and years
ago.
Mr. Whiting hurried on, hardly compre
Lending his errand, or what ho feared, until
ho came to the house of his father-in-law—a
pretty gothic cottage, set far back ono lawn,
behind linden-trees. The house was shut up
and silent ; but Mrs. Whiting was always o.
lark at rising, and as her husband involuntari
ly looked up at the window of the room they
had so often occupied, he saw her just looping
back the curtains, as cheerful and bright as a
butter-cup. And before he was half way up
the walk, she was through the doorway and
down to meet him," smiling like a morning
glory.
"I didn't expect you before to-morrow,"
she cried, in girlish joy. "I thought you
wouldn't get my • letter in time. Nobody is
tip but me ; isn't that splendid l Nobody in
the whole house ! We will go down to break
fast before they know you arc here. Why,
how delightful I could hug that old mail
carrier for taking around my letter in time !
But wasn't it magnificent that Theodore hap
pened to sec me Y lle said it was all luck and
chance he did not go out the other side of the
depot. And we were just in time to catch the
Cleveland train.
Theodore was Mrs. Whiting's eldest brother,
just on his way home from India. And di
rectly at the mention of his name, a stone of
as many as twenty tons fell from Mr. Whitings
heart, which, in consequence, felt lighter than
sponge bread.
" So you thought you would come right
home with Theodore, instead of going to Cin
cinnati to see Sarah Gaegon," said he.
"Why, yes; Sarah is here, you know.
Didn't I write you thatl All of us, brothers
and sisters, arc together, now you have come,"
'answered Mrs. Whiting, growing sweeter
with every word she spoke, in the eyes of the
happy husband.
Mr. Whiting never told his wife his ethnical
and tragical mistake, and she aver suspected
the embroidered velvet cloak afiel ermine furs
he bought for her that very day were, in sober
reality, Ma nk-offerings
INSTANTANEOUS DEATH
Jerome Carden relates that eight reapers,
who were eating their dinner under an oak
tree , were all struck by the same flash of
lightning, the explosion of which was heard
far away. When some people passing by ap
proached to see what had happened, they
found the reapers in all appearance, continu
ing their repast.
One still held LIS glass in his hand, another
was in the net of putting a piece of bread into
his mouth, a third had his band on the dish.
Death had come upon them suddenly whilst
in these positions, when the thunderbolt
Ten reapers, who had taken shelter under a
ledge, were likewise killed all together during
a violent storm. • • '
Like those mentioned above, they had pro
fited by this necessary'suspension of labor to
enjoy `a frugal meal, A touching detail, rela
ted by the Rev. Mr... Butler, who narrowly
escaped being h victim to the same storm,
ehOws with what rapidity the whole of thin
Joyous group had been deprived of life. One
of the.unfortunato beings had,a dog in hie lap
at the moment the lightning fell. Whilst ho
caressed the animal with one hand, with the
other ho offered it a piece of bread. Both the
man and the dog were petrified, as it were, in
this position. The paralyzed hand still held
the piece of bread, and the expression on the
animal's face seemed to say,--
To die with the rapidity of lightning Is to
die as rapidly.as thought itself; for the flash
which kills so quickly lasts a time as brief as
that which but shows us .the spoke of tho
wheel of a locomotive—as that which but en
ables us to see immovable in the air the ball
Whichtics through &witness from tho cannon's
mouth.
ROBERT IREDIDLL, JR.,
Plain an ffanr2 Sob Printer,
No. 47 EAST HAMILTON STREET,
OPETAMB,
ALLENTOWN. PA
ELEGANT PRINTINGI
NEW DESIGNS
LATEST STYLES.
Stamped Cheeto,'Cardo, SirenUm:Paper Booki.,_CopstL ,
lotions awl By -Lair., School Catalogues, Bill h eads:
Envelopes, Letter Heads Dills of Lading,. Way
Ellie, Tags and Shipping Cards. Posters or any
silo, eta , etc., Printed at Short Nonni
NO. 26
A FAMILY GROUP.
Copley, the artist, was elected a Royal Aca
demician, and lived much
,respected by his
brother artists and by the public. Once, and
'only once, ho figured as a party in a court of
justice. A rich citizenof Bristol came to CoP
ley, and had himself, his wife, and seven
children, all included in a family piece.
"It wants but one thing . ," mid the head of
the family, "and that is the portrait of my
first wife; for this one is my second."
"But," said the artist, "she Is dead, you
know, sir. What can I do? She is only to
be admitted as an angel."
"Oh, no, not at all," answered the other;
"she must come in as a woman; no angels
for mc."
The portrait of, the first wife was added ;
but while the picture remained in the studio,
the citizen returned with a strange lady on his
arm.
"I must have another caste of your band,
Mr.
,Copley," said lie, "nn accident befel my
second wife, this lady is my third, and she is
come to have her likeness included in the fam-
ily group."
The painter complied, and the husband look
ed with a glance of satisfaction on his three
spouses. Not so the living lady. She re- ,
mained Silent, but afterwards called by herself
and remonstrated.
"Never was such a thing heard of; it was
unchristian that a man should, have three
wives at once; her character would begone If
she submitted to it; but her predecessors must
0 , , I
And she solemnly declared that she had her
husband's full authority for the alteration.
The artist yielded, and immediately sent the
picture home, that he might have no more
trouble with it. But the enraged trignmist,
without sending it back, refused to pay for it,
and being sued, set up a defence that it was
not according to order. The judge before
whom the action was tried left it to the jury,
"whether they did not believe that, under the
circumstances, the third wife had the authority
of the defendant for directing, the ejection of
tho first and second wife ;" and the plaintiff
recovered a verdict for the full amount of his
demands.—Campbell's Lives of the Chancellors.
—At a revival excitement in Connecticut, a
respectable old lady was struck with convic
tion and became a convert, and was proposed
for membership of the church. There was a
meeting held for the examination of the can
didates, of whom there were several In atten-
•
dance.
' " Well, my dear sister Rogers," said the
venerable examiner, addressing our venerable
friend, "please relate your experience."
The old lady, on being thus addressed,
lifted up her voice.
"Well," said she "I don't know what to
say, as I told my husband, Mr. Rogers, before
I came here, but I believe I have experienced
a change, as I told Mr:Rogers, my husband,
after I came home from meeting, when I be
came convinced that I was the most sinful
creature in the world,'as I told my husband,
Mr. Rogers, and says he, 'I think so too.'
Then I told Mr. Rogers, my husband, I was
going to lead a different life—was going totrim
my lamp, and have It burning agin the bride
groom come. Then Mr. Roger, my husband,
said ho didn't see what I wanted of another,
but he didn't make no objection. Then I told
Mr. Rogers, my husband, that I would join
the church, and prepare myself for the place
where the worm dieth not and the fire is not
quenched ; and my husband, Mr. Rogers, told
me I'd better.
—A few days since, in the Supreme Court,
at Lockport, N. Y., a dog occupied the seat
of an absent juryman. The presiding judge
turned to the counsel, and remarking that all
the seats !nth° jurf-box were filled, asked was
he willing to proceed. The council remarked
that, "while the fellow might do for a fudge, •
he was not willing to take him as a juror."
There would have been a precedent for a dog
sitting as associate on the judicial bench. On
one occasion Curran, the great orator, plead
ing before an Irish judge, stopped suddenly
in his speech. "Go on, Mr. Curran, Ism lis
tening," said the judge. "I thought," said
the lawyer, with a significant look at a huge
Newfoundland dog that the .magietrate was
fondling, " I thought your lordships were
consulting."
—A man who has been traveling in Texas,
says: "It is the hottest and the coldest, the
wettest and the dryest, the richest and the
poorest, the best and the meanest, has the best
women and the meanest men, and more pretty
ladies, with prettier little feet and no calves to
suit ; more sickness and less health, more
streams and less navigable waters, snore corn
bread and less corn, more flour and less bis-
cuit, more cows and less milk and butter, inure
hogs and less pork, more chiCkens and less
eggs, more gold and silver and less money,
more deer and less venison, more negroes and
less labor, more Bureaus and less furniture
than any other country in the United States—
and where house flies live always, and mus
quitoes never die l"
—Not long since, an elderly lady entered a
railroad carriage at one of the Olio stations.
and disturbed the, passengers a good deal
with complaints about a "most painful rheu
matic" that she was troubled with. A. gen
tleman preseht, who had himself been a suf
fuer with the same complaint, said to her :
"Did you over try electricity, madam I
tried it, and in the course of a short time it
cured me." " Electricity," exclaimed the old
lady ; "yes, I've tried it to my satisfaction.
I was struck by lightning about a year . ago, but
it didn't do me a single mossel o' good.
—A clergyman in New haven recently re
ceived a letter desiring him to prepare a lee
ture for him ; "for," said the applicant; "I •
am an excellent extemporaneous speaker if I
had my lecture written for me." •
—"Have you dined I" asked a lounger of
his friend. "I have, upon my honor," re,
plied he. "Then," rejoined the beat, "if
you have dined upon your honor, X fear, you
have made a scanty mud."
. —A old minister the other day naked a wo
man•what could be done to induce her hus
band to attend church.' "I don't know,' she
replied, "unless you were to put a pipe and a
jug of whisky in his paw." . , • .
Western farmer says, "We raise four
hundred bushels of potatoes to the-acre here;
which would boa big thing if wo didn't also
raise insects enough to eat them all up." " '
—A...county magistrate, being called, to
marry o Couple,. concluded thus: "I pro
nounce you man and. wife ;.and may God'
*have mercy on your souls I Amen. •
.—Anna Maria Slone was recently married
to Robert Short.. A pleasant way of making
a story short: ' • • ' ' • •
,
—An eminent artist lately painted a snow
storm so naturally that ho caught a bad cold
by sitting tdo near it with his coat off. •