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Ocuoteb to Politics, Ncwo, titcraturc, poctrii, itlecljanico, 'Agriculture, t►te Oifftt9ion of tbefttl 3nformation, enneral3utelligencc,'Amitscinent,lilavicto, &C.
VOLUME VII.
THE LEHIGH REGISTER,
published in the Borough of Allentown, Lehigh
'County, Pa.; evcry Wedncedny,
41,' lc L. 111111 E,
At 1.1 50 per annum, payable in advance, and
00 if not paid until the end of the year. Na
'paper discontinued, until all arrearages are paid
'except at the option of the proprietor.
nrOffice in Hamilton Street, one door East of
'the German Reformed Church, nearly opposite
he ..Friedensbote" Office.
poetical Mepartinciit.
What I Would Like.
To make my happiness,
I'd kind o' like to have a cot
Fixed on some sunny slope—a spot,
Five acres more or less,
With maples, cedars, cherry trees,
And poplars whitening in the breeze
"I" would suit my taste, you see,
To have the porch with wines o'erhung,
With bells of pendent woodbine swung,
In every bell a bee;
And round my latticed window spread,
A clump of roses, white and red.
To solace my retreat,
I kind o' think I should desire
To hear around the lawn a choir
01 wood•birds singing sweet;
And in a dell I'd have a brook,
Whereby to sit and read my book
Thus I'd live peacefully,
Far from the city's crowds and noise ;
There would I rear the girls and boys,
(I have some two or three,)
And if kind heaven should bless my store
With competence for these and more,
Now happy I would be!
The Frosted Trees.
What strange enchantment meets my view
So wondrous bright and fair?
Has heaven poured out its silver dew
On the rejoicing air!
Or am I borne to regions new
To sec the glories there?
Last eve, when sunset filled the sky
With wreaths of golden light,
The trees sent up their arms on high,
All leafless to the sight,
And sleepy mists came. down to lie
On the dark breast of night.
But now the scene is changed, and all
Is fanciful :y new ;
The tress last eve so straight and tall,
Arc bending on the view,
And streams of living daylight fall
The silvery a rches through.
The boughs are strung with glittering pearls
As dewdrops bright and bland,
And there they dream in silvery curls,
Like gems of Samarcand,
Seeming in wild fantastic whirls
The work of fairy land.
Each branch sidops meekly with the weight
And in the light breeze swerves,
As if some viewless angel sate
Upon its graceful curves,
And made the fibres spring elate,
Thrilling the secret nerves.
Oh ! I could dream the robe of heaven,
Pure as the dazzling snow,
Beaming as when to spirits given,
Had come in its stealthy flow,
From the sky at silent even,
For the morning's glorious show.
Aliscellancoito
The Troublesome Neighbor.
Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Adams were near
neighbors. If this had been in the city,
they might have lived thus for many years
without making each other's -acquaintance.
As, however, the village in which they liv
ed was •but a small one, vicinity naturally
led to familiar acquaintances, and this to an
interchange of neighborly courtesies. It
tvill not do to cultivate exclusiveness in a
country village—'to keep one's self to one's
self,' as the saying is. Every ono makes it
tt point, to know all about everybody else,
!Ind feels aggrieved if any impediments' are
thrown in his way. This however, is some
thing of n digreSsion.
We have only further to premise that
Mrs. Adams had but lately become a resi
dent of the village, where my story is loca
ted, and that her acquaintance with Mrs.
Brown was therefore of but recent date.
'Bridget,' said Mrs. Adams to her Irish
maid of all-work, entering that lady's pre
cints one morning, 'how much sugar is
there left in the bucket
'Shure; ma'atn, and there isn't more than
enough to last to day.'
'ls it possible,' said Mrs. Adams, in stir
prise ; 'and it was only got last week. What
makes it go so fast !'
'l'm thinkin,'ina'am it's because Mrs.
Brown has set to borrow it three times.'
'And hasn't she thought of returning it ?'
'Well, first and last, she's borrowed about
A FAMILY NEWSPAPER
ten pounds, and a few days ago, she sent in
two pounds of dry dirty brown sugar, full
of sand and sticks, that was'nt fit for any
Christian at all to eat.'
.Etas she borrowed anything else lately.'
.1 should like to know what she hns'nt
borrowed. Yesterday she borrowed a bar
of soup, and a quart of milk, half a dozen
pounds of flour, and a pint of molasses:—
Every day she sends in her Jane to borrow
something or other.'
'And dosen't she return other things bet
ter than she has dune in the case of the su
gar?'
'Faith, ma'am, and- its lucky you may
think yourself if she returns anything at all.
that is the case, Bridget, matters must
be looked into a little. 'When Jane comes
to borrow anything more, just let me know
of it before you let it go.'
'I can't understand,' thought Mrs. Adams
as she walked away, 'what a woman can be
thinking of to depend so constantly upon
her neighbors. To my mind, it's just as
bud to borrow an article without intending
to return it, as to pick a person's pocket.
Mrs. Adams had hardly seated herself to
her work, when Bridget popped her head
in the door, and said :
'Please ma'am, Jane is here, and she says
Mrs. Brown sends her compliments, and
would be much obliged for the loan of a cas,
tor.'
'Hasn't she got one of her own ?'
'Yes, ma'am, but it has got rusty, and
she's going to have seine company to• din
ner.'
, Very well ; we can 110 without ours for
one dny ; but you must tell Jane to return it
before the dinner-hour to-morrow.'
'Yes, ma'am.'
Bridget disappeared, but returned in the
space of a minute. 'Jane forgot to nsk for
the loan of a table-cloth, and a dozen knives
and forks.'
What can the woman mean said Mrs.
Adams in astonishment at this new demand.
you may give them to her, but tell
strictly that they must be returned to•mor
row.'
'lt seems to me,' she continued, when
Bridget had kft the room, 'that t 1 Is. Brown
must be strangely dgstittue of household con
veniences, or she would never be obliged to
borrow by the wholesale, as she has done
lately.'
'Bridget,' said Mrs. Adams, the next eve
ning, 'has Mrs. Brown returned the articles
she borrowed yesterday ?'
'Faith ! nova bit of it ! but, hark ! there's
Jane knocking nt the doer this very minute,
Perbaps she's bringing them back.'
'Mrs. Brown sends her compliments.'
said that young lady in question, on being
admitted, 'and would be greatly obliged by
the loan of a pair of glass lamps. Tommy
broke ours to-day, and she halm got none to
burn.'
'Well,' said Mrs. Adams; not over will
ingly, 'she can have ours for tonight. 1
suppose, of course she will provide to-mor
row. But you haven't brought in the cas
tor and other articles I lent you yesterday.'
'La, no,' said Jnne ; cooly ; 'no more I hav
en't; Mrs. Brown thought as she expected
company day after to-morrow, she'd jest
keep 'em, and that would save the trouble
1 of sending again:'
'Very considerate, upon my word,' tho't
Mrs. Adams, though she did not say it.—
She couldn't help saying, however, with
some slight emphasis :
'lsn't there anything else I could lend
Mrs. Brown to-day ?'
'There now,' exclaimed Jane, with sud
den recollection, came near forgotting
one thing, and I should it you hadn't men
tioned it. Mrs. Brown would like to bor
row your gridiron.'
'Gridiron?' said Mrs. Adams, in aston
ishment.
.Yes, ma'am ; we've mislaid ours, and
can't find it; and so, it you haint no objec
tions, we.'d like to borrow yours, as we're
going to brile some steak to-morrow morn
ing.'
'Bridget,' said Mrs. Adams, in a tone of
despair, 'get the gridiron for Jane, and
she continued, turning to the latter, 'you
could return it in•the course of a fortnight,
I should be glad.'
'Oh, yes,' said Jane, simply, not noticing
the sarcastic tone in which she spoke,
don't think we shall want it above a week.'
.1 don% see the castor,' remarked Mr.
Adams to his wife the next clay at the din
ner table. .I3ridget ought to remember to
place it on- the-table.'
•So she would, but Mrs, Brown, our next
nehAbor, has borrowed it.'
'Borrowed the castor ? Rather a strange
request 1 think.
sent
why did'nt Bridget
cook the steak 1 sent home
'Bec, , use Mrs.'Brown has borrowed the
'
- Brown again ? You ought not to
lend L.•• so freely. By the.way, where are
all the , mbrellas ?,It- rained this morning,
but 1 • uld not, find none in place.'
(:• ~ 't know, I'm sure. Perhaps Brid
get c. :I inform us. Bridget;' said she,
when t: at young lady had answered the
summot s of the bell, .do you know what
has beet Me of all. the umbrellas ?'
ALLENTOWN, LEHIGH COUNTY, PA., AUGUST 31, 1853.
'Sum, ma'am, and Mrs. Mimi) has got
two of 'em. Sire borrowed them a week
ago.'
'And hasn't returned them vet?'
'No ma'am, and I. don't believe that's the
Worst of it.'
Just then the bell rang, and Bridget obey
ed the summons.
Airs. Brown sends her compliments,'
said she reappearing, 'and would like to bor
row our largest wash-tub.'
Air. and Airs. Adams looked at each oth
er in astonishment,
, Well !' said the fernier, at lenrth, 'for
sublitre audacity the palm must certainly
be awarded to Mrs. Brown. It is said that
three removals are as bad as a fire, but 1
should like to know how many removes are
as bad as a borrowing neighbor ?'
'Am Ito tell Jane that sir ?' said' Bridget
a little mischievously.
'No, no,' said 111 r. Adams, laughing.—
'You may give her the tub,and you needn't
say any thin,i7 about retnning it—it won't
do any good.'
'Seriously,' she continued, after Bridget
had left the room, 'something must be done,
or very soon the house will be empty. You
don't know half the extent to winch Mrs.
Brown carries her borrowing propensity.—
Within the last week she has borrowed tea,
coulee, milk, sugar, flour, eggs, frying-pans,
knives, table-napkins, a castor, gridiron,
shovel and tongs, and other articles, as the
auctioneers says in their advertisements too
numerous to mention. This is bad enough,
but Mrs. Brown !n addition to this seems to
regard the act of borrowing as investing her
with the right of permanent possession.—
At least I judge so from the fact than she
seldom or never returns the articles borrow
ed.' .
'ls it possible ?' said Mr. Adams, in
amazement. Certainly some end must be
put to this Wholesale robbery. Suppose you
begin to borrow of her ! It's a bad rule that
won't work both ways, and perhaps if you
make her feel a little of the annoyance to
which she has subjected you, it nay be pro
ductive of benefit.'.
'A good idea.' said his wife laughing ;
, and it is better to try .his course than to re
hu,e directly lending any further; that would
only produce bad feeling.'
•And yet,' said Mr. Adams, 'we must
conic to that finally, Unless the present
course succeeds.'
And next morning Bridget was sent to
Mrs. Brown's to borrow a dozen tumblers, a
ninmeg-grater and couple of sheets.
Mrs. Brown was surprised. She had
never before received such an application
from Mrs. Adams, and she could not help
wondering, besides, at the miscellaneous
nature of the loan requested. tier surprise
was increased on the following day when
Bridget brought her mistress' compliments,
and would like to borrow her clothes-horse.
'Yes, you may take it : but we shall want
it early next week. But haven't you brought
back the tumblers ?'
'No, ma'am,' said Bridget ; mistress ex
pects considerable company in a day or two,
and it ‘vill save the trouble of borrowing
again if she doesn't return,. them till after
wards.'
, Well thought Mrs. Brown, quite uncon
scious of the beam within her own eye, the'
she could readily discover the mote in that
of her neighbor, must say that's decided
ly cool !'
Every New-England housekeeper knows
that Tuesday is ironing day in all well-regu
lated families.
'1 should like to know,' remarked Mrs.
Brown on that morning, 'why Mrs. Adam-,
doesn't return my clothes-horse. She must
know that it will be in use to-day. Jane,
go over and ask for it.'
Jane did her errand.
4Give'my compliments to Mrs. Brown,'
replied Mrs. Adams, 'and tell her that since
she borrowed our clothes-lint' we have to
dry our clothes in the house, and therefore
were obliged to borrow• her clothes-horse.—
We should have been through using it, but
as she has our largest tub, it takes more
than one day to get through with the wash
ing.'
This message produced.a >little sensation
in the [tonsil over the way. The result was !
the immediate return of the articles then
tinned by Mrs. Adams. Mrs. Brown be
gan to open her eyes to the fact that she too
was not altogether guiltless in respect to the
faults which she condemned in others.
She was not cured, however, The next
day Jane made her appearance, requesting
the loan of the gridiron.
"Fell your mistress,' said $ Mrs. Adams,
with suavity, 'that nothing would give me
greater pleasure, but it is out of my power,
as she borrowt;(l it a month ago, and has not
4 yet returned it.'
I Mrs. Brown's eyes were opened still
• wider.
The next day Mrs.:Ydams was requested
by message to send 4 list of the articles
which had been borrowed by Mrs. Brown,
and the latter would return them.
With Bridget's help, Mrs. Adams made
out a list of thirty-seven articles, Which she
sent without comment.
Mrs. Brown was petrified with astonish
ment. Like all habitual borrowers she had
not been aware of the extent of her own dep
redations. She teas really very sorry for
the trouble and inconvenience which she
must have occasioned her nei!rlibor.
She sent a message to that effect, when
after two days dilligent search she contrived
to get together all the articles mentioned in
Mrs. Adams' list. '
She was now thoroughly cured of borrOw
ing ; and when this mischievous propensity
was once cradicatAul, she ceased to be,a
Titorm.Esnmu: Nl:mut:en.
(Reader have you borrowed the paper
from which you read the above, or are you
a regular subzTriber.)
Qualifications for a Schoolmaster.
A young collegian inerating in the State
of Maine, fell in company, and also in love,
with a very pretty girl, the daughter of an
old cormudgeon, whose brains were made
of sawdust, hogs lard and molasses, but w h o
on account of the spaciousness of his farm,
had been for years at the head of the school
coin inittee in the district The collegians
attachment to Sally (for that was the mune
of the daughter) was so overpowering that
all the logic and phdo3ophy he had learned
in the schools wa j s compared to the force, of
his passion, as chaff in a hurricane. But
not having the where-with-all to winter in
Maine without a resort to employment, he
intimated to Sally that he should like to keep
the school in that district, when the kind
hearted girl informed him. that her father
was a committee man, and she also inform
ed him what question's would be put to him,
and how he must answer them, if he expect
ed to
gain the good graces of her father.—
Accordingly on Sunday evening, the young
man of classic lore informed the old igno
ramus, that he should like to take charge of
their school for the Winter, and board in his
family. -Whereupon the old fellow assu
med an'air of much importance, and looking
at the applicant with his usual dignity while
examining candidates for keeping school,
put the saute questions that Sally had in
i.ormed her paramour would be asked.
'Do you believe in the final salvation of
all
the world
'Most certainly,' answered the young col
logjam 'it is the only belief that the scrip
tures justify.'
'Do you believe that God ever made an
other man equal to Thomas Jeflorson
'Certainly not, and I have been of this
opinion ever since I read his notes on Vir
tinia.'
'Can you spell Massachusetts
ou,ht to know how, sir, for it was my
native Stte.'
'lVell, spell it.'
The young man spelled the word very
distinctly when the father turned to the
daughter and said, 'llid ho spell it light
;;;11'?' Yes sir, answered the affectionate girl.
When her father turning again to the can
didate triumphantly exclaimed , 'You may
begin school to morrow.'
[low the young pedagogue and Sally
managed affairs through the W inter is an
other part of the story, which we are at
present not prepared to describe.
Jos Smith's Adventure of a Wolf.
While stopping at a village hotel on the
Erie Railroad of a rainy day. a group of id
lers had sssenobled . at the door and front win
dows. of the large porlor• Within were
sounds of merriment which scented to them
ns novel and curious as the presence of
strangers would naturally be in this valley.
hitherto so inaccessible. I was standing
hear the window ; and one of the ladies of
our party standing near me was laughing
at a remark of.loo Willis's while a group of
three or four were discussing the prepam
lion of some tableaux and charades. At the
moment, some persons called out to me for
a story♦ to mail time, while the charades were
in process of preparation; and as I turned
to reply to the call, I cought sight of a wood
man standing outside the•door and looking
in on the group with open countenance.—
Ile was a tall, gaunt man, at least, six feet
two in height, and remarkable slender. Ile
.vas leaning against the poor-post, and his
bet‘vere a ya - rd from it, so that he leaned
a rail in a slanting position, his shoul
der against the casing, as if he meant either
in hold it up or push it down. His long
veck and head were inside the dtior, and his
stare was expressive of vacant wonderment
Ind nothing else; But their was life in his
)lue eye, and the devil lurking there which
von noticed the moment you saw him. It
'tad already attracted the attention of Miss
whe sat alone near the window, look
tig steadily on the strange face that was so
artiest in its ga:i.e.
The instant I saw liirn I sprang forward
—"Why Joe—Joe Willis—here is Smith,
Limit It, my dear fellow, where did you come
:frnm ? l thought you was under the ground
en years ago."
"Not so bad as that sir—glad to see you,
though. How do 3 ott do, sir—glad enough
to see you, pon toy word, sir. I declare,.
W—, if I'd a' known you was up
here, I'd n been up last night. queer times
here now a days. Whose nil these folks.?"
Wriends of mint., Sotith'i come in and
t introduce you."
"(loess 1 may 113 well ; queer, too ;.han't
spoke to a woman since I was a boy ; but
here goes. Trot'etn out. now. ,,
And my old friend stalked 1 . 100 the par
lor with an unstudied carelessness that
would haVe made his fortune in a city assem
bly room.
Ladies of my Old friend. Joshua Smith ;
I beg to present !Mu to your favorable no
tice. Ile used to he the hest shot on the riv
er, the keenest hunter, the best-settled fel
low, and the truest friend. I think I ant
safe in answering for him now as unchang
ed."
"Why, !Mr, W ,you are presenting
a perfect treasure." exclaimed
rushing up and seizitotioshua's hand kind•
ly and cordially. But Joshua shook all over
as the really beautiful girl (she will not see
this) took his hand, and blushing from his
toes to his crown, a regular six foot blush,
backed fairly out of the door. But Miss
-wns not to be beaten iu that way, and by
dint of bright eyes and winning ways, she
coaxed lijni into a corner. and while the rest
relapsed into their former employments, she
engaged him in conversation. Ten min
utes might have passed when a lull occur
red, and Joe Willis took advantage of it to
lift his hand arid impose silence, while he
pointed toward the corner Where Joshua sat
with his back to us, talking at the. black
eves of his captor. So we listened.
"And you see, Miss; I won't going to be
foaled, no how," (this was the first sen•
tence we caught.) "and so I crawled along
the stream to where you see the tall hem
lock that leans over the river. Just there I
had seen a oration in the bushes, and I kind
o' thought that the painter was in there but
I won't sure, I sneaked up among the bush
es and looked into the cover, but I couldn't
see nothing, so I. laid down flat, and dragged
myself, snake-fashion, into the hollow over
the other side there. You can see the ma
ple just above it, out there. Well, I hadn't
gone.ten yards when I heerd a hind of a
snarl and a kind of a yott I, and there She
was, a grey wolf, one of the regular sort,
with a young one along side of her.—
Wasn't I sheered ? I reckon I was, some.
I was sheered all over ; but was worse in my
legs than anywhere else, for they was
caught in a bunch of briars, and I couldn't
stirem without scratching horrid bad. But
it was scratch head or scratch legs then 1
tell you : and I left rimy trowser legs in the
bushes, when I jumped at her. She was
a little•to soon for me, though, and I left her
teeth going through and through the gristle
about an elbow ; so, as you may suppose, I
had only one arm left for much use, but I
was working thundering, hard with that.—
I'd dropped any rifle at the start, and I had
to trust to the knife or nothing. So we went
at it. I don't know howl managed the
next two minuets. We tolled over and
over on the ground, and I never felt the
touch of her teeth, though her claws made
some rugs out of my coat. But I was nigh
giving on it up, and as it want no use to
cry enough, I was thinking of knocking un•
der and letting her chaw me, when Mr.
Willis and Mr. W' , came tearing
down through the brush, and I felt strong
again the minute I seen them. It was a
mighty close shot, too, for I felt the wind
of the ball. I was lying on this sidestretch
ed out kind o'so, (and he illustrated here by
a queer twist of his long body.) and had the
wolf by the throat with my right hand, and
I was trying to get onto him with my body,
but he was pulling and hauling like sin, and
making the feath,-rs fly out of me at every
scratch, when Mr. W , shot, right
over my bead.• So we seen he want more'n
ten yards ofl, but it was such a rough and
tunthle lii_•ht that
tn, b a ,:j a y s . ; risk
ing such a shot as that. What if he'd a hit
me then ? 'Twould a'blowed my brains out
certain."
Ilut Mr. Smith, if he had not shot the
wolf. the wolf would have tr.:hawed' you."
"C hawed ? That sounds (tine o' queer,
Don't know as I ever Inierd'a woman say
•chaw' before. No, Ma'am ; he didn't hit
the wolf at all. The bullit went into the
ground ten foot ofl. T!tvant the thing, that
shot, no [Km."
"Yes, but it was, though, Joshua. For
it scared you and the wolf ten feet apart in
the next second."
'Oh, you're a listening, arc you ? Well
listeners don't here no good of themselves.
Scare me and the wolf! Didn't scare nen h
er of us. Too good pluck in us both. We
only backed ono take breath and another
round.'
""Likely story 'Perhaps you recollect
your left arm was inn bad lix ; and 1 think
the wolf knew it, by the way she licked her
lips, and worked.at you for about ten sec
onds ; and your knife, old fellow—how hap
pened your knife down in the hollow, more
than rods oft ?"
throwd the knife away for a fair fight
—yes, . had. .ly blood was np, and
was—,
"Come, come, Joshua, my boy, if the next
ball had not bothered the wolf, and Joe Wil
lis's knife and good stout arm taken the light
01l your hands, I'd lila, to linow what chance
you think there would have been that you
would bless your eyes to-day with looking
at that face of Miss—, eh, Joshua."
Wall," ,snitl, Joshua, stretching his long
NUMBER 48.
legs till his, heels, buried in the carpet seem
ed half way across the room, and looking
arotmd at me with a quizzical expression—
"Wall—[ don't know. Some things are
blessings to some folks, that aint blessings
to others."
, Why, Mr. Smith !' exclaimed the lady.
oflinice, ma'am ; it does Inc good ter
look at you. I halm seen ditch sence—
sence—do you know now ?-I had my bring
ing up down East. I only came out' hero
w h en I Witsdiout two thirds crowed. It is
pleasant. any how, to see you.'
lint the wolf, Mr. Smith.'
'Ask Mr. W—. He's took the story.
out of my mouth.' And Joshua was unap
proachriblelistening but silent. So I fin
ished his history.
Willis and myself were jtist in
SIT2iIII was fighting well, but the wolf had
hurt his arm, and in his eagerneSs for a
clioaking• grasp ho had forgotten to hold his
knife, dropped it, and they had rolled far
out of reach of it. I think a half-secorid
would have settled Joshua. So I shot;
tending only to frighten the wolf from the
deliberate mouthful in Joshua's shoulder
which seemed inevitable—and it effected .
the purpose. They separated for an in
stant, and I gave her the second ball inside
the shoulder, hoping to reach the heart. It
was a little out of the way—too close for
good aim, But the ball did service and dis
abled one leg. Then Willis was on her
with his knife before she had recovered
from the stunning eff;:ct of the bullet; and .
Joe had always a knack of putting a knife
in the right place."
, Joshua didn't use his left arm for a week
or two after that. How long was it Joshua ?'
asked the lady.
"Six months," grunted Smith.
The extentive group of listeners were
scattered at this instant by the dinner bell,
and insisting on Joshua's company, we
I made merry till twilight over the table.—;
Cor. .Iqurnal qf Commerce.
Amusing. Anecdote of Gen. Taylor.
We have heard an amusing story told, in
which Old Zack figured when President,
He had been but n -hort time in the White
House, when, finding that ladies would call
at hours when it was not convenient to se6,
theta, he gave orders to the door keeper to
not admit them at certain times. The dooi
keeper was formerly a soldier, and knew the
old hero well ; but, nevertheless, he disobey
ed orders one day, and permitted three la
dies to see the President. After their inter
view was over,. down came the old man in a
rage—so much so that a gentleman whti
was present, and who tells the anecdote,
was roughly told, as the General met him
at the foot of the steps, to !go into thet room,'
waving his hand in military style to the room
he meant. General Taylor then approach
ed the trembling janitor, and, fixing his feet
in a firm position, exclaimed, 'Why didn't
you obey my orders sir? What did yoti
send those women up to me for, sir?
court-martial you sir!' and before an an
swer could be given he raised his right foot
and gave the derelict door-keeper a kick,
which landed him'on his back two or. three
yards off. Old Zack then moved off, cal
ling to the gentleman, Coma to my room,
come to toy room !'
By the time the President arrived thefe;
however, he aas somewhat cooled down,
mid taking the visitor's right hand in both
of his, said :
"What can I do fur you, sir—what can I
do for you ?"
The interrogated was somewhat of a wag
and thinking that Taykir would relish ti
juke, replied—
" Well, General you can .giye me one of
them ititerestimz things yoti just now give
the doorkeeper."
No sooner said then done—the General
up•foot and planted a blow in the wit's pos
terior, which sent hint out into the passage
and ha:Ling the door, he returned to the
business he wits at, when interrupted by the
ladies.
The kicked vi itor, in passing the door
kepi-AT remarked—
"The old nun kicks hard—don't he ?"
"Oh, sir, he
. kicks like a jackass
"You had better go and tell him so."
"Nut me, by the powers, sir ; but I mane
in the hardness of the kick, and all I cared
about it was the indignity, sir."
"But that was not halt what I cared for,"
said the retiring gent to himself, "for I shall
feel so sore for that joke, that 1 shall taho
care how to try to be tunny with Old Zack
again us long as I live."
L.An old bachelor being ill, his . sis . tei
presented him with a cup of medicine:
•What is it V he asked.
She answered—
It elixir asthmatic, it is: very arornetic
awl will make yuu feel estatic.'
•Nancy; he replied, with a smile, 'you
are very sister-:vatic.'
re - Two men have been arrested in Mar
shal comity, Alabama, having in their pos
session $lOO.OOO in vounterleit notes on the
Bank of Cape Fcar, C. C., besides $3,000
in good money.