HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher. VOL. VIII iUpraing fJiwnccat. \ l>efliOcrawc weekly ,i,Cr . leVOte t hJ o Ar°iV r ,'r I s.izneesAc. Pub tverj W e dnrs- Avowing County, I'* r A fSpT'LfiL.J tV HARVEY SICKIER I I'erm*—l copy 1 year, in advance) 42,00 ; if Dd t [ aid within six months, *2.50 will be charged NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all are rearagerse paid; unless at the option of puMi RATES OF ADVERTISING ten LINKS CONSTITUTE A SQUARE. line >quare one or three [insertions *1.50 Every subsequent insertion less than 8 50 HEAL ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTY, and GENERAL Advertising, as may be agreed upon, Patent MEDICINES and other advertisements oy the column : Ono column, 1 year, 360 Half column, 1 year Third column, 1 year, -*> Fourth column, 1 year, 20 Business Cards o f one square or less, peryear nith paper, $8 ty EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITKH advertising—with out Advertisement —15 cts. per line. Liberal terms n.ede with permanent advertisers. EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, *2,50 ORTTCARfE'v- exceeding ten linos, each ; REL tJIOUSand LITERARY NOTICES, not of general merest, one half the regular rates. Advertisements must be handed in by TCES ay NOON, to insure insertion the same week. JOB WORK fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit the times. A! 1 TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK must be paid for, when ordered Business Notices. i irnpa * kirraKih attorneys, office I J on Warren Stroet Tunkhannock Pa. W E. LITTLE. J. A. SITTSEK. || s COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON I i . Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa. / \ 1„ I'AKHIMI. ATTORNEY AT LAW. V L oifi-c at the Court House, iu Tunkhanock Wyoming Co. I'a. _ \\ M.lMrrMAl l. ATTORNEY AT LAW Of ' \\ Gee in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk nmrisk.Pa. _ __ _ rii" j t'HASfcT" ATTORNEY AN D COUNSEL 1 LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa JS;ecial ttenlion given to settlement of dece dent s estates *_ , Nicholson, Pa., Dec. 5, lSg* vinlJjl •it J WIL9OR, ATTORNfY AT LAW, Col M. lectins and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands fur sale. Scranton, Pa. A DEWITT, Attorneys' at Law- U Office, opposite the Bank, Tunkhannock P. r M. u;TERHOUT. B * DEWiri T w. KIIBAIW, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON, J. will attend promptly to jall rails fesaion. May be found at his Office at the Dro* Shire, or at his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly occupied by A. K. I'eckham Esq. ' OR, E. F, AVERY'S^§fc DENTAL OFFICE, Over Burn's Bros., Jewelry Store. Tunkhaunock, Pa. All the various styles of Dental worlt dune and warranted. Particular attention given to straightening irregular or deficient teeth. Examinations made, and .advice glven wUhout sliargi- Ethereal Spray administered when des' r "N - Culoroform administered under direction of a PHysl cisu. The advantages of employing a local and re ijwnsible dentist are apparent to all. vsn.ni. Prof. J. Berlinghof. iflstjionablt Barber & gair-Wttr, AT TUNKHANNOCK, PA. HAIR Woven, and Braided, for Switches, or Curled, ao>i Waterfalls of every size and atyle, manufactur ed to order. . , . Tbe highest market prices paid fur Ladies llair. All the approved kinds of Hair Restorers and Drying constantly kept on hand and sold at Man ufacturers retail prices. , j Hair nnd Whiskers colored to every natural j JACOB BERLINGHOF. Tunk . Pa. Jan. 5, '69 vBn22-tf. PACIFIC HOTEL, 170,172, 174 A 176 Greenwich Street. Ittoos ABOVE COBTLANUT STREET, SEW YORK.) The unpereigned takes pleasure in annonnclng to hi- numerous Iricnds and patrons that from this date, the charge of the Pacific will be $2.50 PER DAY. It* r a -de Proprietor of this house and therefore j frv ,in the too common exaction of an Inordinate , he i< fully able to meet the downward tenuen cy of prices without any falling oflol service. It i,t now, as herototoie. be his nJm to maintain E- ::i!-hid the favorable reputation of the Pacific, h;, hit has enjoyed for m*n: years, as one or the b""t iftravelers' hotels. , Mfc i THE TABLE will tie bountifully supplied with *v ry delicacy of the season. . I Tilt at TEN DANCE will bo found efficient and ar.d obliging. . . - _ 1 lit. I.t l AT lON wiU be found convenient for t . whose business calls them in the lower part or t-.e city, and of ready access to all Rail Koad and w*. a , Lines. JoHN pATTEN . 'ct iota IS6B. nlB-am. HUFFORD HOUSE. TUNKHANNOCK. "WYOMING CO., PA TlF'e L-TABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY teen refitted and furnished in the latest style. uUcnlii.n will be given to tbe comfort and , e r.w-.ViL. e of those who patronize tbe House. 11, 111 FFORD Proprietor. Tui kh.iiißuck, Pa., June l", 1368.—v7044. BOLTON HOUSE. HAitRISHUHGf FHNNA. The undersigned having lately purchased the I*CEHLER HOUSE " property, has already corn men i jui-h alterations and improvement# as will i tender this old and popular House equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in tbe City or Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is refpect foDj solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, 1 U * KII \KNOCK, VF YO.W ING CO.. PA. THIS evUbluhiuent has recently been refitted an * furnished in tbe latest style. Every attention 'ol be given to tiie comfort and convenience ofthoee •*> patronise the House. T. B. WALL, Owner and Peepnetor: * aukhannoek, September 11, 1861. , ■*- TUNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA., -WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 1809. ~ The new Broom still new! AND WITH THE NEW YEAR, Will be used with moro sweeping effect than hereto fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choice ann desirable GOODS, at tbe NTew Store r 0F C DETRICK, in S. Stark's Bri.k Block , AT TUNKHANNOCK, PANN'A. Where ean be 'ound, et all limes, one ef the Largest end Richest assortments ever offored in Ibis vicinity, Consisting of BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS SILKS, FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS. EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS, POPLINS, SERGES, end PAREMETTOS, BLACK LUSUE AND COLORED ALPACCAS WOOL, ARMURE, PEKIN AND MOUSKLIEU DELAINS, INPORTED i AND DOMESTIC OINGHAMS, PRINTS of Best Manufactures, ; Ladies Cloths and Saequeings, FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN GOODS, &C.. LADIES RETICULES, SHOPPING BAGS and BASKETS. TRUNKS, VALISES, end TRAVELING I BAGS, :o: I i Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vesta, White Gooda, and Yainkee notions in endless va riety. lIOOPSKIRTS k CORSETTS, j direct from the manufacturers, at greatly i reduced prices. ' FLANNELS all Colors and Qualities. KNIT GOODS, | Cloths, Cassimcres, Vestings, Coltonades, Sheetings, 4 Shirtings, Drills. Denims, Ticks, Stripe?, Ac. Every Description of BOOTS k SHOES, HATS & CAPS. Paper Hangings Window Shades, Cur tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil cloths, Crockery, Glass and Stoneware. Tinware, Made expressly for this trade, and war laiited to give Satislaciion, at 20 per cent, cheaper than the usual rates in this section. HARDWARE A CUTLERY, of all kind?, SILVER PLATED WARE, Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials, Putty, Window Glass, &c. KEROSENE 'OIL, Chandeliers, Eantps, Lanterns, Lantern Gtares, Lamp Chimneys, Shades and Curuers. COAL, ASHTON, ir BBL. SALT FLOI'R, FEED. MEAL, BTTTER, CHEESE, LARD, PORK, HAMS, and FISH. SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE SPICES, SYRUP, A MOLASSES, WOOD k WILLOW WARE, ROFCS, CORDAGE, PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYE 3, FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac, :o: These goods have been selected with great care to suit the wants of this community, and will be sold as heretofore, at the lowest living rates for cash or exchanged for country produce at market prices. Thankful for the past liberal patronage, I shall endeavor by strict attention to my business, to merit a continuance of the same, and will try to make the future still more attractive and ben eficial to customers. C. DETRIOK. 1 i luftrg. [Republished by request.] NO SECT IN HEAVEN. 3 Talking of sects till lato one eve, Of the various doctrines the saints bellovc, That night I stood In a troubled dream, By the side of a darkly flowing stream. I And a "Churchman" down to the river came ; When I heard a strange voice call his name, "Good father, stop ; when you cross this tide You must leave your robes on the other side." But the aged father did not mind, And his long gown floated out behind, As down tho stream his way he took, Ills pale hands clasping a gilt-edged book. "I'm bound for Heaven and when I'm there I shall want my book of Common Prayer ; And though I put on a starry crown, I should feel quite lost without uiy gown." Then he fixed his eye on a shining track. But his coat was heavy, and held him back, And the poor old father tried in vain, A single stop In the flood to gain. I saw him again on tho other side, But his silk gown floated on the tldo ; And no one &6ked, In that blisslul spot, Whether he belonged to "THE Church" or not. Then down The river a Quaker strayed,— His dress of a sombre hue was; made ; "My coat and hat must be of gray,— I cannot go any other way." Then he buttoned his coat straight up to his chin And steadily, solemnly, waded In, Anil his broad-brimmed hat he pulled down tight, Over Uls forehead, so cold and white. But a strong wind carried away his hat; A moment he silently sighed over that. And then, as he gazed to the farther shore, The coat slipped off. and was seen no more. As he entered Heaven, his suit of gray Went quietly sailing—away—away, And none of the Angels questioned him About the width of his beaver's brim. Next came Dr. Watts, with a bundle of Psalms Tied nicoiy up in his aged arms, And hymns as many, a very wise thing, That the people in Heavea "all round," might sing. But I thought that he heaved an anxious sigh, As lie saw that the river ran broad and high, And looked rather surprised, as one by oue, The Psalms and the Hymns in the wave went down. And after him, with his MSS, Came Wesley, the pattern of goodliness ; Hut he cried, "dear me what shall I do ? The water has soaked them through and thro." And there on the river, far and wide. Away they went down tho swollen tide ; And the saint, astonished, passed through alone, Without his manuscript up to the throne. Then gravely walking, two saints by name, Down to the stream together came ; But as they stopped at the river's brink.? I saw one saint from the other shrink. "Sprinkled or plnnged.—may I ask yon friend, How yon attended to life's great end 7" "THUB with a few drops upon my brow," "But I have been dipped as you'll see me now." "And I really think It will hardly do, As I'm 'close communion,' to cross with yon ; You're bound, I know, to the realms of bliss. But you must go that way, and I'll go this. Then straightway plunging with all his might, Away to the left—his friend to the right. Apart they went from this world of sin, But at last together they entered in. And now, when the river was rolling on, A Presbyterian ehnreh rfent down. Of women there seemed an Innumerable throng. But the men I could count as they passed along. And concerning the road, they could never agree, The OLD or the NEW way, which it could lie ; Nor ever a moment pause to think That both would lead to the river's brink. And a sound of murmuring, long and loud, Came ever up from the moving crowd ; "Yon're In the old way, and I'm In the new ; That is the false, and this Is the true Or "I'm In the old way, and you're In the new ; THIS is the false and THAT IS the true." But the BRETHREN only seemed to speak ; Modest the sisters walked, and meek. But if ever'ono of thera chanced to say What troubles she met with on the way,— How she longed to pass to the other side, Nor dared to cross over the swelling tide.— A voice arose from the brethren then : "Let no one speak but the "holy men For have ye not heard the words of Paul, "Oh let the women keep silence all 7" I watched them long in my curious dreara, Till they stood by the borders of the stream ; Then just as I thought, the two ways met. But all the brethren were talking yet, And would talk on. till the heaving tide Carried them over side by side ; Side by side for the way was ono— The toilsome journey of life was done,— And priest and quaker, and all who died, Came out alike on the other side, No forms, or crosses, or books had they— No gowns of silk, or suits of gray, No creeds to guide them or MSS, For all had put on Christs righteousness. At the ontlireak of the late war, John A. J. Oreaswell, now Postmaster-Gen eral nntler Grant, was a violent rebel, and raised a company of Confederate soldiers in Maryland. Grant is "making treason odions." j&ay Why would lawyers make good soldiers ? Becauso they know how to charge. "To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Eight." THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS. Who does not sometimes recall the days of childhood—those lrnppy days of urttil loyed bliss—of innocence—W ignorance— for who will not acknowledge that "igno rance is bliss." Yet there are times when we are so happy that we scarcely regret those days gone by : yes, there happy mo ments in our life when we seem in the sev enth heaven ; but, to begiu at the begin ning, we will speak of the happiest mo ments of childhood, for we luive clouds as well as sunshine even then. Now, first and foremost, behold the delight with which the little mites in long clothes try to catch at everything within their reach ; and, if by chance they get hold of anything, to knock it on the table, or dash it on the ground and break it. Oh ! how happy they do feel when they see the ruins they have made. Then, again, when they have grown a little older, and are short-coated, with what delight do they look at their own little trotters as they kick them about; the the wee bronze shoes or pretty-morocco seem to delight them ; they look ut them .earnestly, then, being much pleased, they make up their minds to bite them, and go to work with all their little energies, sometimes managing to pull one off, when they do bite away with a vengeance ; and how happy the little creatures are when they get hold of papa's beard, or manage to pull mamma's hair down, and try might and main at that, or pull poor papa's or mamma's nose, that is perfect bliss. If tlio dear little creature belongs to the mascu line gender, with what joy, what pride, does he strut about on that happy day when he lirst dorrs the garments ox freedom, of liberty, and tyranny— in other Words, when he is tirst breeched. Ah ! that is a happy day to the miniature lords of creation. Then when he throws aside his short Jackets, and lirst wears a coat, does he not think some pumpkins ? I guess lie does. Then there is a young la dy, when she first wears a long dress—how she has looked forward to that happy time ; how often has she put on her mother's dress and promenaded nj> and down, p looking back at the train with a pride ; and now tho happy moment has com- when she has a long dress of her own. Yes, a real long dress, touching the ground ; and with what a self-confident air does she walk out, won dering what all think of her, especially the young gents. Now comes one of the especially happy moments of life to the young "man. \\ hat words can tell the joy, the pride, ho feels when he first begins a few stray hairs upon his upper lip and chin —with what anxiety does he watch its growth—even with as much fondness as a mother watches her babe. There is a moment in the life of the fair maid not to be forgotten—when her lovely tresses are first put up she feels a grown-up young lady in every sense of the word, and no mistake. There is no impropriety in her thinking of l>e,aux now, if she has not thought of them Ixffore. Now the young gent having arrived at the dignity of a darkened upper lip, and af ter having been told by a younger brother two or three times that he hail better wash liis face clean, he begins to think it is about time to take a little notice of the fair sex. What a happy moment when ho gets his courage up to that pitch, that he actually puts his arm aronnd the waist of a pretty girl, only to prevent her falling, of course ; what a thrill of joy, of pleasure, when he first presses a kiss upon her cheek, and when he has the audacity to imprint one on those ]>onting lips, and when she returns it. what language ean express the rapturous bliss of that instant, we can well say it is 1 letter imagined than described. I can fan cy some saying that experience would be still better. 1 will not contradict them. Now we are about arriving at the most interesting (I wish it would be grammati cal to.say tho most happiest) minutes of life. The young gentleman being able to boast of a mustache, makes of his mind to pop the question to the idol of his affection. He goes with—well, as Khakspeare says, "At war 'twixt will and will not." If suc- cessful, is it not one of the happiest mo ments of life, when he hoars that "yes," in whispers soft and low does lie not feci but I do not think I will try to describe his feelings. No, nor the feelings of the hap py maiden when she hears with her own ears, from liis own lips, that she is "the empress of his heart." Now for tho next and even happier moment (if possible), when he looks with ]ride upon that lovely creature, and can for the lirst time clasp her as his, and his alone. "His wife,'l how sweet that name sounds what music to his enchanted ear. I sup pose the fair creature feels very happy, too: of course, slie must feel highly elated at the idea of getting married, for there is certainly now no fear of her being an "old maid"—that must be a gr<*at weight off a girl's mind, for all know the only aim of a woman's life is to get married, at least so the men tliink. I suppose the next happiest moment of life, that Is of any note, is generally when they first look upon their first-born. What pride swells their hearts when the yonng fond parents first gaze upon that little mite of humanity. Oh, the many happy moments that they pass together watching each movement of the interesting little creature. How the young wife and mother rushes to meet the happy father, to inform him of the astonishing fact that the wonder knows her—yes, actually knows his own mother. Well, they say, "It is a wise child that knows its own father." Then the happy moment when he first lisps the name of mamma or papa ; when he first runs aloae with his little hands ex tended towards tliem ; but, ah ! how use less to speak of these moments of joy—of happiness— of bliss—of l'apture—all mo ments when the feelings are better imag ined or experienced than described ! Yes 1 language is, indeed, weak to express the feelings of the happiest moments of life. A DISGUSTED DARKEY. An industrious and econominal darkey living in Western Pennsylvania, after tie cumulating a house and lot, thought his next purchase should be in the way of live stock, and so bought a sheep of the male persuasion. His favorite amusement du ring leisure hours was to get down on the grass and nod defiance to the animal, which would mako*avage plunges at tho apparent enemy. But as the savage creature ap proa/'lied, the darkey would drop his face to the ground so that the sheep, missing his mark, would tumble over and over. One day the darkey called ft couple of passing neighbors to see the fun, and ftp began his little farce, as usual. The sheep did not see him at first, but presently raised liis head from the grass on which he was grazing and frowned upon him. "Oh, ji.i wateli him now !" said Sambo in great glee. Old Buckey made a rash as was his want, and Sambo suddenly dropped his face to the ground. But as the fiends would have if, his Hat nose came in contact with n sharp snug lie hadn't observed before, and he jerkoil back 1 iis head in time to receive the full shock of the sheep's head between lii.s nose and wool. There was such a roaring arid tumbling over and over for tbe next quarter of a min ute that the neighbors could not tell which was the sheep and which was the darkey. They soon got separated, and Mr. Darkey got slowly up, grinned, and said : "Pun my word he nebber dun 'dat afore! Gittin too smart for dis liiggah. I'se a gwiue to stop foolin' with such a fellah as dat." There was plenty of mutton in tlris neighborhood next day, but his sheepsliip was never seen again. Hoiiiujile. —Miss Flora Gushing was by all acknowledged Fashion's Queen, and many a scene of splendor grand was by her subjects seen ; and she went, so the nobs all went—whate'er she did was well—she joined the Saratoga ring, and soon became the belle. Her form and face were fault less -her name without stain—her dress was locomotive-like, it had so long a train ; but dire misfortune seized the girl, and caused her mournful end ; disease it took her off right straight—'twas called the Gre cian Bend. She grew much worse, yet she received, not pity, but abuse ; and though she never had looked fast, they said she then looked loose. Her parents were in deepest grief—their hearts with pain were rent—yet still the girl with Grecian Bend kept following her bent. At last, when she found her friends and parents troubled, anil tliat her form lost half its charms, al thought she thought it doubled, she said henceforth she'd stand erect—which when she tried to do, she'd grown so stiff that, | by my word, the damsel broke in two ! ■! E nuts'irv. —Eternity lias no gray hairs 1" The Howers fade, the heart withers, man grows old and dies ; the world lies down in the sepulchre of ages but time Writes no wrinkles on the brow of eternity. Eternity ! Stupendous thought ! The ever present, unborn, uudecayiug, undying —the endless chain, compassing the life of God—the golden thread, entwining the dos tiuies of the universe. Earth has its beauties, but time shrouds them for the grave ! its honors, they are but as the gilded sepulchres ; its p SSOH oiuns ! they are but bursting babbles. Xot so in the untired bourne. Tn the dwelling of the Almighty can come no footsteps of decay. Its {lay will know no darkening—eternal splendors for bid the approach of night. Its fountains will never fail ; they are fresh from the eter nal throne. Its glory will never Wane, for there is the ever present God. Its harmo nies will never cease ! exhauntless love sup plies the song. fiaj' A young lady onec married a man by the name of Dust, against the wish of her parents. After a short time they lived i unhappily together, and sho returned to her father's house ; but he refused to re ceive her, saying : "Dust thou art and un | to Dust thou slialt return." fky'-A negro recently chop]>ed the head | of a white girl to pieces in Georgia to get i possession of three dollars and twenty j cents. An additional fact to show why the I XVth Amendment should be ratified. SYMPTOMS OF OLD MAID ISM. i 9% I .11 •infc7tt&B9itolV A Scotch paper thus details the nr.: When a woman begins to drink her tea without sugar—that's a symptom. When a woman liegins to read love stor ies alied—that's a symptom. When a woman gives a sigh on hearing of a wedding—that's a symptom. When a woman begins to iy that she's refused many an offer—that's a symptom. When a woman begins to say what a dreadful set of creatnres men are, and that she wouldn't be bothered with one of them for the world —that's a symptom. When a woman begins to eliange her shoes every time she conies into tho house after a walk —that's a symptom. When a woman begins to have a little dog trotting after her—that's a symptom. When a woman begins to have a cat at her elbow at meal times, and gives it sweet ened milk —that's a symptom. When a woman begins to be ashamed to take off her bonnet in a gentleman's com pany because she's got no cap on—that's a symptom. When a woman sees babies crying, anu says that she wouldn't bu.troublcd with .them—that's a symptom. When a woman begins to say that a ser vant lass has no business to liuvo a sweet heart —that's a symptom. When a woman begins to go to bod with her stockings and a llannel night-cap on— that's a symptom. When a woman begins to rubber fingers ovtr the chairs and tables to tee ii they are dusty—that's a symptom. When a woman begins to put lu r linger before her mouth when she is talking to any oue, for fear they should see she's toss ing her teeth—that's a symptom. When a womans begins to talk about rheumatism iu her knees and elbows— that s a symptom. When'a woman begins to refuse" to tell her age that's a symptom. When a woman begins to find fault with her looking-glass, and my it doesn't *h( the features right—that's a symptom. When u woman begins talking about cold drafts, and stops up all the crevices in the doors and windows—that's a symptom. A Tocoh Stoiiy.' — "Talk about bed bugs!" said Bill Jones, who had boeii across the Plains. "Yon should havo seen some of the critters I met iu Idaho lust spring. I stopped one night with aonle settlers who lived in a log cabin, contain ing one room and a loft. When it came time to'gbto bed they strung u blanket across tbe middle of the room, nnd the settler's family slept on one side of it ana gave me the other. I laid down to go to slet>p, and the bedbugs began to gather like lunch eaters around a free "lay out." I tried to kiver up nud keep away from 'em but the pesky varmints would catch .held of the 1h*(1 clothes and pull tln-m from me. They didn't think nathin' of dragging me around the room if I held on.. i tit 'em till about midnight, aud then I looked around for some way of escape. There was a ladder reach in' up into the left, and I thought the best way to get away from the blood-suckers was to get up tliar. So i did. There wasn't any bugs in the loft, so I laid down, congratulating myself on my escape. Pretty quick 1 heard tho ladder squeakxu' as if somebody was eoi iin' up. Birneby I saw a bedbug raise himself up through tho hole made in tlielioor and looked carefully around the loft. Boon's he saw inc he motioned to his ehbnis le low —the bloodthirsty Mues—and cried cx ultingly, "Come up, boys ;he's here '. Masks.— lf we could only read each other's hearts, we should lie the kinder to each other. If we keep the woes and bit ternesses and physical annoyance of our neighbors, wo should moke allowances for tlieui which we do not know. \\ ugo about j masked* uttering stereotyped sentiments, j hiding our heart-pangs and our headache? j as carefully as we can;"and yet we woiidex j that others do not discover \h- ai by iututioa. j We cover our best feelings from the light: I we do not so conceal our resent men and our dislikes, of which we are prone to be. proud. Often two people sit close rrigelhur with "X love yon in either iivfin, ;ftid neither knows it. Each tlanJo ' i could be fond; but what use of wasting loudness on one, who does n X care far ft V' AWho they part, and go their, ways alone. Bw is a masquerade, at which few ■ paiQask, even to therr very dearest-i •Anit though' there is need of uawlt niaslrhfig, t*ouU t$ Heaven we dared to show plainly' qur iv.il faoos, from birth to death,. for thefe x<>me few, at least, would truly lxive each other. This is old but trac. - —< a * 1 ! An. exchange says ; "A iiw Bun | day nights ago a fair damsel, who wa? omi j ing out of oue of the churches, was ap i preached by a gallant young man, who re ' quested the pleasure of "Seeing her borne " ' The fair one replied : "No, sir, if ywiwMi to go homo with me, yon must go with uie ' to church, sit with me during the exercises ! and thus show yourself worthv of the liOii- I or." - ... ■ - 5* . - r"~4 I SSL* A gentleman on taiiiug avqlumn to , be bound, was tusked if lie would have ik ' hound in Russia. "Russia is too far off. I will have it | done here." 'ERMS, $2.00 Per ANNUM, in Advance i\o. 36. ; iUiSf & fJtliErfoisc. Woman—a delusion that man likes to hug. . . Irj' What is the key note to good breed ing.? B natural. fits?" Why is a lien immortal ? Her snn (son i never sets. foil" Old juaids—Euibers from which the spark*have lied. • What class of city people raise the most flour? The bakers. r<-X'" - Why is a lover like a knocker ? He is boned to adore Indoor.) t if If B:iran should lose his tail, where would he find another ? "Whew they re tail.spirjts. Why is Twitch; U, (t!io Philadelphia " murderer,) the strongest manfn the world ? Because lie levelled a Hill with a poker. TO'; A tombstone in Maine, erected to a memory* of a wife, bears the inscription: "Tears cannot restore lier; therefore I weep." BUicASTiC— I "Can you trust mo, Mr. Butcher, for a little meat this morning ? " "No,yon og-e mc for tliat already on your Uoues." tfeL. Josh Billing s\s, "lam violently opposed tew ardent fpeerits as a beverage, but for raanufacturin' purposes I think a little of it/tastes good." —V r "♦> t- "What kind of education do you lnwy- chiefly in your school ?" "A willow branch, sa*. the toaster has Used almost a whole tree." ~ ' -v Jtlj:. Au :.djuLa..t of a volunteer corps, being doubtful vhethur ho had distributed muskets to all tli men, cried: "All of you tltat are without arms hold up your hands." V.y* "How many children hare I ? " ask ed a woman of a spirit rapper. "Four." "And how many have IV " asked her hus band. * 'Two," was the astonished reply. A mistake somewhere. ■"™* • 'T™ " 1 ' i — TOO A good sort of a man in Maine was recently asked to subscribe for a chandelier for the church. "Now," said lie, "what's the use of rt chandelier ? After yon get it you cau'i get any cue io phiy bu it." K3"* Yn kau jmlge of a man's religion very well by hi aria' him talk, butyu kaut judge of his piety by what he sez, anymore than yu knn jtnlgmof his amount ov linen by the'-lick out "ov 111-, 'collars and wrist bands. ' f -v* An nmoions swain wrote to his friend : "Dear Harry—Yon asked me What kind of a game i am placing with Jack (bullam for Clarissa's hand i have to say in reply, it is a game of double or quits, and the result is. I double and he quits." —— —<•- A gentleman, after having paid liis :uldr<isses to a young lady for pome time, "pipped the ques.Tiou." The lady, in a frightened manner, said, 'you scare ine, sir.' The gentleman did not wish to frighten theli.ly. mid Cv>n cqtieiitly remained guii-t fgr some tiuiu, win-ii she exclaimed 'Jpciue me again." • Tli. - Xollowiug startling thivat was made use of the nLh.-r day by an exrited pugilist: .. , ,; Ai | . "Hi twin: you rouuJ your neck nud ram ) yon down your own throat until there is ! nothing left of you but the extreme ends of I v tr shirt coUxr.stT king out of your eyes." | ThM eppon- nit i-i A yomig gentleman, in ascertain ibudiießß lionsH. hiving tarried much long er hh'hivboHrdie house than was thought | Try" "v th.mm ;ming meal, vas-a.-ked j on his relurn, in a joking way, what lie had ' ( for bre-iiff rsl-? lb* -replied candidly "A jV'tp of eoflce, a mutton chop, and''some i mystery. ** "My Tory I" said the employer. I "What's that V" not having been thor i - - i . , ■ A j .of boai'iliig' house hi.'.. "Why," ;u*wvr : cd tiio other, ""that is liaslu" • ' " ' ' ___■ - . j M If npT . A college professor was being rowed across a .stream in n boat. Said ho-to the boatman : ."Do you uudeixlaUu philosophy ? f "N>. uevev inaaxl of it." j# "Then one quarter of your life is fgiue." I "Do you, nnderstiuid geologv ?" ' A.v " ipil¥ o -i i Ml . OW "Thim, remarked the professor, threi - fourths of your life in-gone." ' But presently the boat tipped over and spilled both in the river. Says the boat man : ►a you f wim ? * "ho!" repla d Hie. professor, great ly t'ngt rated. "Then the whole ot yonr life Is gone."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers