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VOL VIII.
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TLANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOD
■ . Ap.t-C must be paid for, when ordered
Business ftotices.
i |TTLB niTTAI-.R. ATIuRNEYe. OlUce i
in> n Warren Street Tunkhannock Ha SITTBEB . i
V. K. I.ITTLK.
I r S. COOPIiK, MTBICIA4 &SI KG EON j
tl. Newton Centra. Luxerna County Pa- __ J
, \ PACBMB. ATTOXSiBi AT LAW. I
' ). (ifli -e at the Court House, in Tunkhanock ;
Wyoming Co. Pii*
ii'M. 1 I'IATT. ATTORNEY AX LAW Uf-
W fide in Stark's liriek Elock Tioga St., Tunk- ,
inaork.Pa - j
T'j CUfiE, ATTORNEY ANDCOrNSLL
Is LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming to, ia ,
1.-peeial attention given to settlement o eo ,
dent's estates _ „ Q .
N'ichidson, Pa. Deo. 5, 130~ vn '"X l
ii j. WILSON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Col
,\l. lecting and Keal Estate Agent. lowa Lands
r sale. Scranton, Pa.
n?rERHOET A DBWTTT, Attorneys' at Law—
U Office, opposite the bank, Tunkhannock P^
? M. 0.-TERIIOUT. O. b. DEW 111
T W, RHOADS, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON,
J . will attend promptly to all calls in his pro
,n Miy be fonnd at liis Office nt the L>ra*
■ -e. or at his residence on Ptittnan Sreet, formerly
copied by A. K. Peckham Esq.
DR. E. F, AVERY ! SSR!
DENTAL OFFICE,
r Rum's Bros.. Jewelry Store. Tunkhaunock, Pa.
\'i the various styles of Dental wcrk scientifically
and warranted. Particular attention given to
x-htonlnir irregular or deficient teeth.
! \ iciin iti'ins made, and advice given without
... 1 thereat Spray administered when desired,
rm administered under direction of a Fhysi
i a [vantages of employing a local and re
•in.e dentist arc apparent to all. vtnt. j
Prof. J. Berlinghof.
iasbioaabte Ducbcr & ijair-Cuttir,
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
\IH Woven, and BraideJ, far Switches, or Curled,
s i Waterfalls of every size and style, manufactur-
TLe highest market prices paid for Ladies' Hair.
A . the a; proved kin-Is of Hair Restorers and
■ ■ r.; constantly kept on band and sold at Man
...i-timers retail prices.
II r and Whiskers colored to every natural j
JACOB BEELINGIIOF.
Tunk., l's_ Jan. 5, '69.—vSn'XMf,
PACIFIC HOTEL,
172. 174 A 176 Greenwich Street.
r.< Ar.DVB CLIKTLASBT KTKKET, SEWTOM.)
T i rsigned takes pleasure In annonnclng to
• Hands and patrons that from this
tar . haree of the l'aeitic will he
$2.50 PER DAY.
t.gs - Proprietor of this house, and therefore
:o i common exaction of an Inordinate
;< l Ah able to me-t the downward ternicu- ,
.ri i - without anv falling ofl ot service.
t, w.a- horetofoie, l his aim to maintain
■,l is* tavorahle reputation ot tho Pacific,
it h: • eujoyed lur many years, as one ot the
f travelers' hotels. , ...
•HE I \ ELK will he bountifully supplied with
I rv delieaev of the eeason. . . . I
IHK ATTENDANCE will be found efficient and
f.l obliging. , |
I HI. LIGATION will be tound convenient for j
w). -<• business calls them in the lower part of j
and of ready access to all Rail Road and
JOHN PATTEN.
Get iotii IS6S. nlM*. |
HUFFORD HOUSE.
IUNKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., PA
Till? ECTABLISHMENT IIAS RECENTLY
I ■ r. refitted an 1 iurnisbed in tho latest ityle.
r s'htifton will be given to the comfort and
tt.ee of those who putronize the House.
H, 1H i'fORD. Proprietor.
< tk, Jkv.. June l", Ur63.—vTn4l
BOLTON HOUSE.
llAltKlSHUHfls I'KNNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
' EHLER HOUSE " has already eom
-ta.el such alleratloni and improvements as will
'">r this old ami fsjpnlar House equal, if not supe
t any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
1 ' otinurinoe of the public patronage is refpeet
• ■? so.icited. I
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
, ~ATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
1 YFCLL VNNOCK, W YOMING CO.. VA.
p ,; c ci-al-liihinent has recently been refitted an
el in the latest style Kverv attention
- en to (he comfort and convenience ot those
patronize the House
T T. li. WALL, Owner and Proprietor:
•Mikkaimock, September 11, 1861
TDNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA.-WIMESDAY, MARCH. .31,1869.'
The new Broom still
new!
AND WITH THE NEW YEAR.
Will be used'with more sweeping effect thin hereto
fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choice
ann desirable GOODS, at the •
IAT ew Store
OF
C DETRICK,
in 8. Stark's Bri;k Block
AT TUNKHANNOCK. PAII
' Where can be found, at all limes, one of the Largest
and Richest assortments ever offered in this vicinity,
Consisting of
I BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS
SILKS,
! FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS,
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
j POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS,
BLACK LUSHE AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL, ARMURE, PKKIN
AND MOUSELIEU DELAINS, INPORTED
AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS
of Best Manufactures,
Ladies Cloths and Saequeiugs,
FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN
GOODS, AC., LADIES RETICULES,
i SHOPPING BAGS anj BASKETS.
TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, and Yamkee notions
in endlessva
ricty.
| HO OP SKIRTS <L CORSE TTS,
direct from the manufacturers, at greatly
i reduced prices.
FLANXELS all Colors and Qualities.
KNIT GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassi meres,
| Vestings,
Cottonades,
Sheetings,
Shirtings,
Drills,
Denims,
Ticks, Stripes, <Mc.
:o:
Every Description of
BOOTS A SHOES,
HATS & CAPS.
Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cnr
) tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil- .
j Cloths, Crockery, Glass and Stoneware.
Tinware,
Made expressly for this trade, and war
ranted to give Satisfaction, at 20 per cent,
cheaper than the usual rates in this section.
! HARDWARE A CUTLERY, of all
kinds,
SILVER PLATED WARE,
Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials,
Putty, Window Glass, kc.
KEROSENE 'OIL,
Chandeliers,
Lamps,
L an terns,
Lantern Glares,
Lamp Chimneys,
Shades and
Curuers.
COAL..
ASIITOX, tr EAL. SALT
I FLOUR,
FEED.
MEAL.
BUTTER,
CHEESE,
LARD,
PORK,
HAMS,
i and FISH.
SUGAR,
TE A
" ' COFFEE
SPICES.
SYRUP, A
MOLASSES,
WOOD A WILLOW WARE,
ROPES, CORDAGE,
PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYE 3,
FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ae,
These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants of,
j this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
for the past liberal patronage, I shall
endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance of
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
eficial to customers.
C. DETRIOK. 1
Ifltlrg.
From tho Scranton City Journal.
AFTER ALL.
BV STELLA OF LACKAWAXA.
What Is it worth, after all-
Life, with its rapture, its heart-ache, its hurry-
Life, with its conquest, its welfare, Its worry-
Slipping so soon past recall 7
Over and over again,
Going and coming, and earning and going-
Knowing so much 111 enough worth the knowing—
Ending In folly and pain.
See ! from the far-stretching shore.
Hither and thither, forever and ever,
Hope-builded boats down a measureless river,
Drift to the great nevermore.
Fair as a picture, it seems—
Shore of our youth where the tide sweeps so grandly
Shore, where the breeze tells Us story so blandly— '
Shore of magnificent dreams!
Down 'mong those surge-whitened sands,
Silvery shells with a pearl-tinted lining—
Only half-hidden their exqutsl' e shining.
Wait the light touch of our hands.
Little it matters at last--
We may not linger—still moving—still moving,
Ouward and onward, or hating, or loving,
Leaving the shells with the past.
Battling, with resolute oar,
Billows that mock and that rock, and o'er ride us,
While helpless voyagers perish beside us—
Perish In sight of the shore. "
Be our cup nectar or gall—
Be the way cloudless, or gloom-arched and grooplng.
Dark with despair, or triumphant with hoping.
What Is our life, after all?
Make it the most that you can-
Sift from the dust every possible treasure.
Weigh it with full, aye. munificent measure,
Dross, only dress, fellow man.
Is there no Island, O, Fate,
Sheltered among the sweet alienees yonder,
Shut from unrest and low passions asunder.
Where souls, world-weary, may wait.
Till from tho calm-tempered skies,
Something akin to ropise, slow descending,
Fall like tho mist where the sea waves are blending
And the wild fever strife dies?
THE POPULAR CREED.
Dimes and dollars! dollars and dimes !
An empty pocket's the worst of crimes;
If a man's down give him a thrust—
Trample tho beggar Into the dust.
Prcsumptous poverty's quite appalling-
Knock him over ! kick him fur tailing 1
If a man's up, oh! lift him higher,
Your soul's for sale, and he's the buyer.
Dimes and dollars ! dollars and dimes !
An empty pocket's the worst of crimes.
I know a poor but worthy youth,
Whose hopes are built on a maiden's truth;
But a maiden will break her vow with ease,
For a wooer coineth whose charms are these—
A hollow heart and an empty head.
And a face well tinged with brandy's red,
A sonl well trained in villainy's school,
And cagh, sweet cash—he knoweth the rule ;
Dimes and dollars! dollars and dimes I
An empty pocket's the worst of crimes.
I know a bold but honest man,
Who strove to live on the Christian plan ;
But poor he is and poor will be.
A scorned and hated thing 19 he ;
At home he meeteth a starving wife,
Abroad he leadeth a toper's life ;
They straggle against fearful odds,
Who will not bow to the people's gods.
Dimes and dollars 1 dollars and dimes !
An empty pocket's the worst of crimes.
So get your wealth, no matter how 1
No questions asked of the rich I trow ;
Steal by night and steal by day,
(Doing all in a legal way;)
Join the Church and ne'er forsake her,
i Learn to cant and insult your Maker;
Be a hypocrite, liar, knave and fool.
But don't be poor—remember the rule :
Dimes and dollars! dollars and di mes !
An empty pocket's tho worst of crimes.
A TRUE PICTURE.— Wo clip the following
from a newspaper published in a town
where they are, no doubt, boys whose con
duet lias suggested the writer's remarks. —
The picture will answer for any meridian.
There is no greater danger to the young
man or boy than loose or 1 >ad company,—
Nobody is bad at once. Wickedness and
erime, although they are not properly
trades, are nevertheless occupations, and
are learned by degrees. The lirst degree is
idleness and bad company. These two
lead many a boy and man to perdition,
whose starting out was only for fuu but
whose end was dreadful reidity. "The boy
who lurks and lounges about with a gang,
annoying families, or who indulges the
wicked habit of iusidting persons who pass
bv- his lounging place, or in assaulting peo -
ple who give no offense, or who thinks it
the proper sort of thing to take a drink,
when he is out for a ' 'spree" at night, or
on Sunday is in constant of danger just the
kind of rows and broils that end in blood
shed and murder. At one end of his career
is this habitual lounging, loafing, disorder,
dissipation or ruffainism ; at the other, if
he keeps on in the same path, is the prison
or the gallows.
PRETTY GIRLS:— An eastern paper w rites
thus plainly about pretty girls: "It may bo
set down as a general rulo that the pretty
girls are thoso who dress the plainest; pretty
girls do not require the extra adornments
of dress. WV uever, then, we see one of
thegnadily arrayed creatures of fasliion,
j our mind is at once made up that she is
{ not naturally beautiful Every rule has
its exceptions, and there are doubtless ex
| ceptions, of this one; but in its general ;
1 application it will lie pretty correct."
QUIT IT, — Young men. don't stand in
front of the church door on Sunday, gap- !
ing at ladies as they come out. It don't
look well. We know that some l%iies are
curiosities to look at, the way they dress,
but it shows impudence and ignorance to!
I gap at them like a lot of baboons. Quit
lit. " I
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
THE DISGUISED HEIRESS.
Miss Vernon sat thoughtfully at her win
dow plunged deep in thought. This need
lie scarcely wondered at, for the question
upon which she was pondering affected her
nearly.
She was an heiress, having come into
possession, at her majority, of fifty thous
and dollars. She was prepossessing in her
appearance, and this, as was natural, added
to the report of her wealth, which, as usu
al, was considerably exaggerated, brought
her suitors in plenty. Among them she
made a choice of William Winsor, and in a
few weeks they were to lie married.
William was engaged in the wholesale
clothing business, and had the reputation
of a sharp, active man of business. He
was of good appearance, and so far as
could be judged, was a good match even
for tho heiress. Nothing to his prejudice
had come to the ears of Miss Vernon, un
til the day before. A poor woman had
come to the door in evident poverty, and
asked for relief. On being questioned, she
said that she had been making shirts at
twelve cents apiece for wholesale dealers—
that after making a dozen and carrying
them to the store, she had been roughly
told that they were spoiled, and that no
thing would be paid her for her work ; but
that seo might have some more, if she
would agree to make them better. She
added that this was one of the small ways
in which the firm made money out of poor
women, by pretending that the work was
unsatisfactorily done, when really no fault
could bo reasonably found with it.
The sum, small as it was, of which she
had been defrauded, was all important to
her, as it represented nearly a week's
work.
"Only a dollar and forty cents for a
week's work !" exclaimed Miss \ ornon in
dismay.
"That's all," said the poor woman.
"How, then, do you live ?"
"It can liurdly be called living. It's
just barely keeping body and soul togeth
er," said the poor woman.
"And who is this extortioner that first
offers you starvation wages, and then de
frauds you even of them ?" asked Miss
Vernon, indignantly.
"William Winsor."
"I can hardly believe this. I know that
gentleman."
"It is true, and if you will investigate
tho matter, you will find it to be so.'
"I will investigate the matter. Here is
five dollars for your present needs. Come
here to-morrow at this time and I may
have some work for you to do."
The poor woman departed, invoking
blessings upon the heiress.
"I will look into this," said Margret \ er- (
non, resolutely, and if it proves true the
engagement between V illiam W iusor and
myself shall be broken. I will not give
myself to such a man."
"Nancy," said Miss Vernon the next
morning to the chambermaid "have you
an old dress and shabby cloak and bonnet
that you can lend me ?"
"I have got some that are so poor that I
am not going to wear them again," said
Nancy, surprised at such an inquiry.
"Will you lend them to me ?"
"Of course, Miss; but what would the
likes of you want of such clothes ?"
"A little fun that is all," said Miss Ver
non. -"I am going to disguise myself, and
see if I can't deceive somebody."
With this explanation Nancy was con
tent, and produced tho clothes. Miss Ver
non put them on, and in addition borrow
ed of another of the servants a thick, green
veil, somewhat the worse for wear, and
then set out on her mission. No one in
her disguise would have recognized the us
ually elegantly dressed heiress, Miss Mar
garet Vernon.
Miss Vernon slipped out of tho basement
door and took her way to a large store, on
which was inscribed the name of William
Winsor in large gilt letters.
Sho entered and after a whilo a clerk
spoke to her in a rough voice :
"Well what do you want ?"
"I want to get some work," sho said in a
low voice.
"We can give you some shirts."
"Anything."
"Can you sew well ?"
"I think so."
"At any rate, we will try you."
A half a dozen shirts were given to Miss
Vernon, and she was informed that if satis
factorily done, she would lie paid twelve
cents apiece. These she carried home
slipping in at the back door.
Two hours later the poor woman called.
"Here are some shirts for you to make,"
said Miss Vernon.
"Why, they are the same as I have lieen
making," said the woman in surprise.
"That is true, and they came from the
same place."
"Am I to bring them back there !"
"No, you will bring them here. I will
pay for the work, when done, double the
price you have been receiving."
Thank you, Miss ; you are very kind."
] "Sew them as neatly as possible. I wish
to see whether they will be rejected as poor
' work."
• "Yes, Miss Vernon, I will take pains
I with them."
Three days later the poor woman re
turned with the work completed. Miss
Vernon paid her for them, and requested
her to call again the next day.
* "Nancy," said the heiress, after her por
-1 tege lggl departed, "I shall wish to borrow
r your old clothes again."
"Certainly, Miss," said Nancy, "if it is
' not ashamed you are to appear in such
" rags."
"No one will know me, Nancy." •
' 'Sure, Miss, you can take them whenev
er you hke."
"I don't think I shall need them ;igain,
Nancy, but thank you all the same."
1 Not long afterwards, Miss Vernon, in her
shabby disguise, entered the establishment
of William Winsor, with the bundle of
1 slurt, under her ann.
She went to the counter and laid them
down.
"What have you got there V" demanded a
pert young clerk.
"Home, work, sir," said Miss Vernon,
humbly.
"Well, why don't you open the bundle?"
said the young man, picking his teeth with
his knife.
Miss Vernon did so.
The young man deigned to tumble over
the shirts, glancing at them carelessly.
"Shocking ! shocking !" he said.
"What's the matter, sir ?"
"They're wretchedly sewed. That's
what's the matter, llow do you expect we
are going to sell such shirts as these ?"
'T am sure I thought they were all well
done !" said Miss Vernon.
"You thought, did you?" repeated the
clerk, mocking her. "Well, I think dif
ferently, and that's all about it. We shan't
pay you for these shirts. They will have
to be sold at a loss."
"But what shall I do ?" asked Miss Yer
j non. in seeming distress,
j "That's your business, not mine. We
I will try you once more, and give you
I another half dozen shirts. If they are
I done better you will be paid for them."
"These are done will," said Miss Ver
i non, snatching the bundle from tho coun
j t' f, ' 'and I will show them to your eta
j ployer."
j To the indignation of the clerk, who was
used to such independence in the poor wo
men who worked for their establishment,
Miss Vornou took the shirts to another
part of the counter, where she saw Mr.
Winsor himself.
"Mr. Winsor," she said, "your clerk
will not pay me for these shirts. He says
they are not well done."
Mr. Winsor took up one and pretended .
to examine it
"No, it is poorly done. We can't pay
you for these, but you may have another ,
bundle, and, if they are satisfactory, you ,
will then be paid."
"Didn't I tell vou so ?" said the clerk, 1
triumphantly. "Now, young woman, how
much did you make by that operation. ,
"More than you think, perhaps," said ■
Miss Vernon, quietly. i
"Do you want any more work ?"
"No, I don't wish any," she said.
"O, you are on your high horse, are
you ?" Well, 3'ou 10:13- be glad to get work ,
some da\\ when 3'ou can't have it." ,
That evening was the one which William ,
Winsor usually spent with his betrothed.
When lie was ushered in he went forward 1
warmly, as usual, to greet Miss Vernon. .
She drew back coldly, and did not offer
her hand to grasp his.
"What is the matter, Margaret ?" he Ask
ed, surprised and startled.—"What have I
done to entitle me to such a reception ?"
"My hand bos taken yours for tho last
time, Mr. Winsor," said Margaret.
' 'Good heavens ! what is tho meaning of
all this ? Margaret explain yourself; I j
cannot understand it."
"I cannot take the hand of one who \
grows rich by defrauding poor women out ]
of their scant - earnings."
"Who says this of me ? Some one lias
•j IMS 11 slandering me. Comfort me with my
I accuser. There is some mistake here." ]
J "I will do AS 3-on desire. Wait five
! minutes." 1 .
Miss Vernon left the room, but soon re
entered in her disguise.
The young man strode up to her angrily. ■
"Are you the one who slandered me to ]
Miss Vernon ?" he demanded,
"I told her the truth."
Tho young man reflected. Violent con- .
tradiction, he saw, would not avail him ; he
would tr\- another course.
"Hark you. young woman," he said, in
a low voice ; ' 'thpre WAS a mistake. I will
give yon ton dollars on the spot, and all 1
the work you want at double rates, if 3-011 I
I tell Miss Vernon it was all a mistake."
"Too late, Mr. Winsor," said the veiled 1
figure," throwing up her veil and showing
1 the contemptuous face of Margaret Yer
(j non. "Your bribe is offered in vain,
j Good morning, sir,"
Confused and antoniahed, William Win
: sor found his way to the door, and has nev
er ventured to enter the house of the heir- '
ess since. He IIAS paid for his meanness in 1
his own coin. ' I
Pri?" It WAS not Mrs. Partington who J
thought "Ed." must ho a great newspaper
i lxiy, because his name was attached to soD
I many paragraphs in the papers.
KISS HIM FOR HIS MOTHER.
It was a very prettj- and very pious con
ceit of that dear old lady who kissed the
dead youth for his mother. Ho forcibh'
luis it appealed to popular admiration since,
that no inoonsiderable number of live
young men have had the .same affectionate
caress bestowed on them, out ol' respect
for the same venerable relative. A striking
example of this WAS afforded a few eveuiuga
since ly a 3'ouug lady who enjoys the un
divided affections of a handsome down
town clerk. It so happened that some
weeks ugo his mother died. His heart
was consoled in this great liereftvemeut by
the affectiouate sympathy of liis employer's
fascinating daughter. It is not strange
that this sympathy at hist ripened into love.
The parents noted and approved their
daughter's choice, hut wisely kept their
own counsel. The interesting relations
however, were destined to come to light in
away least expected. (>n© evening the
young couple were enjoying a pleasant
TETE-A-TETE in a secluded nook of a parlor.
The old gentleman, happened, by- the
merest accident, to step in and take a seat
unobserved by the young people. Sudden
ly his attention WAS arrested by one of
those prolonged luxurious kisses which on
-1 ly lovers ever exchange.
"What noise is that V the parent loftdly
exclaimed.
Silence like death.
•'I say Julio, what noise is that ? •'
"S-i-B—sir ?"
' 'What are 3'ou doing there ? "
"N-o-t-h-i-n-g, sir!"
"Only—onh- William, sir ; his mother's
dead 30U know—and—and I thought it
wouldn't be wrong to kiss him for her,
you know, sir 1"
"Humph !" and the old gentleman took
liis leave, doubtless thinking how fortunate
the deceased lady was to be so affectionately
remembered. —XV. O. Picayune.
DAHK HOURS.— We are all of us called up
on to pass through trials and disappoint
ments. We all of ns know the meaning of
sorrow. Wo have all of ns experienced
disappointments and regrets; we have
seen those we deemed friends, constant and
rue, turn from us, and with mocking
words 011 their lips, throw onr friendship
back in our foees. We liave seen the surf
light of prosperity dimmed by the clontfs
of misfortune. But we have also known
joys and experienced pleAsnrcs. Wo know
there are true hearts in this beautiful world
of ours. We know that, though the clouds
overcast the sky to-day, the snu will shine
to-morrow.
"Man is born a hero ; and it is only in
darkness and storms that heroism gains its
greatest and best developments, and the
storms bear it ou rapidly to its defini
tion."
Do not let us despair thcu, but let us
cherish hope, aud with cheerful persever
ance push on towards tlie goal of success.
IWe cannot hope to win an}- prize, no mat
ter how small, without surmounting ob
stacles, and overcoming difficulties.
Dark hours must come to all; but they
cannot always last —the light wiil coiac
agaiu—the sun will break through the
clouds, and jo}- will take the place of sor
row, if we will only cherish hope, if we do
not give up in despair, nor cease to strug
gle on. .
PUNCTUALITY.— -It may seem of little mo
ment to be punctinil, but to use the words
of an eminent theologian, "our life is made
up of little things." Our attention to tln-ia
is the index of our character of the scales
by which it is weighed. Punctuwlit}' in
quires no undno exertion, and its influence
is a most salutary one. Its ouitivutien
s; tho more important AS c we WJMICM
the deleterious influence of dilutoriiuvw in
habit, the evil effect of which none deny.
"Better late than newer," transformed into
"better never late," is an excellent maxim.
Whether we move in the higher walks rf
life, or tliread the quiet paths tif humble
pursuits, puntuality repays us for
what little effort we make iu its cultivation.
SPECIE PAYMENT.- A gentleman stepped
into one of the Port Jar vis tiger beer sa
loons the other da}- and got two glasses of
the beverage for himself and friend ,md
threw down a ten cent silver coin. The
Teuton never having seen one before as he
has been in this country only two years,
thought he was imposed upon, and it WAS
sometime l>efore he could he convinced that j
it WAS at one time the currency of our land J
and its value WAS real. "Mein Clot in Him- [
mel! dis ish der sbeshie fiaymeut vats li
reads so many dings about, and never seej
no times pefore !"
i
"Aw ! " exclaimed by English cock- 1
ney to a western traveler in England. '
"speaking-aw of the law of prinngenntnre, i
'ave you heutail in America?" "Hen-1
tail," said the American, looking at his in - 1
terrogator with curiosity; "no, sir. we
have the cocktail in America, and a very
popular drink it iB."
<
B?*U A hint to ladies ; How to prevent
gray hnirs—keep you? head shaved War-'
ranted not to fail.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
ill is f &
A flourishing business.—Ornamen
tal Penmanship.
Motto for fashionable young ladv-*-
''Never tx> latq to mnud."
Bt&~ A good way to liml a woman ont —
Call when she isn't at home.
——
fckT* An Ohio girl astonished, the hand
some young men of a Cleveland dry goods
store, the other day, byaskiug for "three
yards of Grecian Bend."
V*j. "D< you see anything ridiculous in
tMs wig"? ' said a brother judge to Cur
ran. "Nothing but the head," he replied.
-
tS$ n '"See here, mister," siiid an Irish
lad of seven summers, who was driven lip
a tree lw a dog. "If you don't take that
dog away I'll eat up ah your apples."
&z>* "This is capital ale ! " said an old
toper, ''see how long it keeps its bead."—
' 'Ah," Said a bystander, "but consider how
it takes away yours !"
lirz?" A lady of dignified demeanor, having
lost her way, said to a urchin in the street,
"Boy, r want to go to Dover street."—
"Well, marm," replied the boy, coolly
walking on, "why in thunder don't you gr>
there, then ? "
I'd thank you for another piece of
that mince pie," said Dubbins to his land
lady. "Owing to the peculiar arrange
ment of tiie programme no piece can be
rein-ated at this entertainment," calmly re
plied the landlady.
tui" "Is there any person yon Would
particularly wish me to marry ?" said a
wife to Lor dying spouse, who had been
somewhat of a tyrant in his day. '.'Marry
the devil, if you like," was the gruff reply.
"Oh, no, my dear, you know it is not law
ful to marry two brothers."
A new hand in a Boston shop made
terrible rough work in shaving a customer.
\\ hen tli< haggling ended the victim ask
ed:
"DKT"you ever shave anybody l>efore?"
"Yes, sir."
"Ah ! did the man live ?"
The Indianapolis Mirror says :
"The other day, at the genesal immersion
of sundry and divers converts of the col
ored persuasion, an antiquated Dinah, as
she arose from the solemn ordeal and near
ed the bunks of # the "raging canawl," ex
claimed, "Oh. good Lor', if I'd known it
was rrtgood,as it is, I'd gone and done it
long ago." .
A QUEIITT EXPEDIENT. —An Irishman lost
his hat in a well, and was let down in a
bucket to recover it.; the well being deep,
and extremely dark withal, his courage fail -
od him before he reached the water. In
vain (lid ho call to those UIKIVC to pull him
up ; they lent a deaf ear to nil he said, till
| at lust, quite in despair, he bellowed out :
"Be St. Patrick, if you don't draw me up,
j sure I'll cut the rope."
i
GfSr- A ntde fellow, at Richmond, lud.,
I who was brought before the Mayor for noma
nocturnal spree, was .lined S4.fo for nine
oaths jittered in deiiauce of leual warning,
th:d <'ayJ] pile would cost him iifty cents.
Ho handed out a live-dollar bill, and as the
Mayor was about Lauding hint back the
change, broke out, "No—no-keep it : I'll
swear it^oi it ,1 and he took out the balance
in as round, imprecations as over saluted
mortnl ears,
t-y* The C'hilon (Wis.) Tiiws, in copy
ing an item from the Applet on C'trscent,
stating that a Holland woman, of Little
Chute, had been delivered of throe bounc
ing babes at a birth, weighing on tho ag
gregate twenty-five pounds,* says : "This
is nothing to what was done over this way
during the war, when tho infantry were
scarce. A Mrs. Patrick Connelly, residing
three ratios from this village, had six living
children within eleven months—four atono
birth and two at the other. Her husband
had been sent home by Colonel Wood, of
the 14th Regiment, to recruit up, and he
| did it"liobly."
try An exchange, in an article upon the
i propriety of "round dances,"gives the fol
j lowing, which Is worth a thought:
"A few years since a man well known in
( society,—not young, and who did not
! dftucS- jjiis sitting at a party, near a young
lady, and watching the mazes of a "Ger
, man. He turned to her, knowing her
well, and said;
"I wish you would let mo put iny arm
around your waist."
Of course she looked at him in amaze
ment.
"Oh," said he, "you know I can't dance,
butldoiLt sec tire difference. All theso
young men Lave their arms about the girls'
waists, and why should not I have the
same privilege, though I sit still ? "
MO. 34.