HARVEY SICKLEB, Publisher.
VOL. VIII.
ill iteming Bnnoccat. *
A Democratic weekly _
SICKIER
Terms—l copy I year, in advance) *2,00; if
ftJ t j.aid witbin six months, *2.SO will be charged
SO ptiper will be DISCONTINUED, until ell are
rea;agejre paid; unless at the option of puMi
RATES OF ADVERTISING
TIC* li.ere CONSTITUTE A sqcAnn.
one Mjuare one or three (insertions SI .50
EveryVubsequ-nt insertion less than 8 50
Ks.:'ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTY, and QKMRAL
ADVERTISING, as may be agreed upon,
PSTCNT MEDICINE* and other advertisements oy
the column :
One column, 1 year, fiOO
Half column, 1 year 35
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth column, 1 year, 20
HueiiiCHS Cards of one square or less, per year
•:th paper, $8
EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with- I
jot Advertisement—ls cts. per line. Liberal terms 1
msde with permanent advertise™.
EXECUTORY, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI
TOR'S NOTICES, ef the usual length, *2,50
OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten lines, each ; REL
dlOUSand LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
surest, one half the regular rates.
vr Advertisements must be handed in by Tu us-
SY NOON, to insure insertion the fame week.
JOB WORK
fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit ,
the times.
i;i TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS anJ JOB j
WORK must be paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
I ITTI.F. A SirrSER. ATTORNEYS. Offica
Jj.in W rren Street Tunkliannuck Pa.
T.\ E. Little. J- A. Sittsek.
[I S. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SUROEON
M. Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.
/ , 1,, I'A KKITEH. ATTORNEY AT LAW. J
''• Office at. the Court House, in Tunkhnnock
Wyoming Co. Pa. j
11 r ;.|. M. PIATTVaTTORNKY AT LAW Of- <
it fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk- j
ainiuH-k, I'a
V J CllAHfe. ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL
i LUR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa
Especial attention given to settlement of dece
oi .< estates
v noison. Pa. Dee. 5, l&g7—v7ul9jl ,
IT J. WIIASON, ATTOKNFY AT LAW, Col
,11. lading and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands
rssle. Scranton, Pa. 38tf.
ASTERIIOUT A DF.WITT, Attorneys' at Law—
U Office, opposite the Bank, Tunkhannock, Pa.
"t M. OsTERHOCT. O. B. DEWITT j
I WT KUOADS, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON,
J. will attend promptly to all calls in his pro
sion. May be found at his Office at the Drag
re, or at his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly
i-eupied by A. K. I'eckham Esq. •
3R, E. F. AVERY'S,Cap!
DENTAL Off ICE.
•rer Barn's Bros., Jewelry Store. Tunkh.-u.nock, Pa.
All the various styles of Dental work scientifically
tone and warranted. Particular attention given to J
Kraightening irregular or deficient teeth. .
Examinations made, and advice given without
•srge Bthereal Spray administered when desired, c
Chloroform administered under direction of a Fhyst
elzn. The advantages of employing a local and re
ijioaslMe dentist are apparent to all. vBn'Z7t. 1
Prof. J. Berlinghof.j
iasljionflblf Barber & siir-€ttfr,
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
HAIR Woven, and Braided, foe Switches, or Curled, ]
tod Waterfalls of every site and style, manufactur
ed to "(wdsr.
Tbe highest market prices paid for Ladies' Hair.
All the approved kinds of Hair Restorers and
brtssing constantly kept on hand and sold at Man
aftctursrs retail prices.
Hair *nd Whiskers eolured to every natural
■had*. *
JACOB BERLINGHOF.
Tonk., Pa. Jan. 5, '69 —vBn2i-tf. t
PACIFIC HOTEL,
170,171,174 At 176 Greenwich Street.
(ONS POOR ABOVE CORTtoANPT BTREBT, *BW YORK.)
The üßpenigned takes pleasure In annonnclng to
ha numerous friends sod patrons that from this
date, the charge of the Pacific will be
$2.50 PER DAY.
Being sole Proprietor of this hoise and therefore
fret from the too common exaction of an Inordinate
tut. he is tully able to meet the downward tenden
cy o! prices without any falling off of service.
It will now. as heretofoie, be hi* aim to maintain
W'H'alshed the fhvorable reputation of the Paclflo,
*hieh it has enjoyed for many years, as one of the
vest of travelers' hotels.
THE TABLE will be bountifully supplied with
every delicacy of the season.
THE ATTENDANCE wIU be found efficient and
"id obliging.
THE LOCATION will be ionnd convenient for
t-oee whose business calls them In the lower part of
the city, and of ready aoceas to all Ball Road and 1
btestnboat Lines.
JOHN PATTEN.
Oct loth lses. nis-sm.
HUFFORD HOUSE.
RUNKHANNOCX. WYOMING CO., PA
THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY
- been refitted and lurnished In the latest slyle.
tvery attention will be given to the comfort and
of those who patronize the House.
H, HUFFORD Proprietor.
Tubkhatinock, Pa., June 17, 1860.—v7044.
BOLTON HOUSE.
HAKUISRUhGy PLNNA. j
The undersigned having lately purchased the !
: ' EHI.ER HOUSE " property, has already com- !
®eacej m-h alterations and improvements as will ;
this old and popular House equal, if not supe- ,
n "t. ti any Hotel in the City of Harrieburg.
teooimuance of the public patronage i* mfperi
sh solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON- j
WALL'S HOTEL,
. LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
T| -*KHAN MOCK, WYOMING CO.. PA.
eetaUivhrnant has recently been refitted an
• i . farni * h,J in the latest style Every attention
■ he given to tbe comfort and eonveaienee oi tboea
iu Halronize the Houee.
T __ T. B. WALL. Owner and Proprietor i
u to*n&tr, l f. MM. '
TUNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, FEB. 24, 1869.
*|The new Broom still
new!
, - •
AND WITH THE NEW YEAR,
Will be used with more rteeeping effect than bereto
i fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choice
ann desirable GOODS, at the
|
New Store
r OF
C DETRICK,
in S, Stark's Brisk Block
, AT TUNKHANNOCK, PAI'A.
Where can be found, at all times, one of the Largest
and Richest assortments ever offered in ibis vicinity,
Consisting of
BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS
SILKS,
FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS,
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS,
BLACK LI'SHE AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL, ARMURB, PEKIN
AND MOUSELIEU DELAINS, INPORTED
i I AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS
of Best Maoufaetures,
:o: ■
Ladies Cloths and Sacqueings,
FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN
GOODS, &C.. LADIES RETICULES,
SHOPPING BAGS and BASKETS,
j TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
:o:
' Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, and Yamkee notions
in endless va
riety.
HOOPSKIRTS <t CORSKTTS,
direct from the manufacturers, at greatly
reduced prices.
FLANNELS all Colorr and Qualities.
KNIT GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassiraeres,
Vestinga,
Cottonades,
Sheetings,
Shirtiuga,
Drills,
Denims,
Ticks, Stripes, &c.
——:o:
Every Description of
BOOTS & SHOES,
HATS & CAPS.
Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur
tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil-
Cloths, Crockery. Glass and Stoneware.
Tinware,
Made expressly for this trade, aDd war
ranted to give Satisfaction, at 20 per cent,
cheaper than the usual rates in this section.
HARDWARE A- CUTLERY, of all
kinds,
SILVER PLATED WARE,
* _____
Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials,
Putty, Window Glass, Ac.
KEROSENE 'OIL, ,
Chandeliers,
Lamps,
Lanterns, 1
1
Lantern Glares,
Lamp Chimneys, 1
Shades and
Curuers.
• COAL,
ASHTON, ir BBL. SALT
FLOUR,
FEED,
MEAL.
BUTTER,
CHEESE,
LARD,
PORK,
HAMS,
and FISH.
SUGAR,
TEA,
COFFEE
SPICES,
SYRUP, t
MOLASSES,
WOOD A WILLOW WARE,
ROPES, CORDAGE,
i PATENT MEDICINES, DEUGS, and DYES,
FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac.. Ac,
These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants of
! this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
; for the past liberal patronage, I shall
i endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance of
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
eficial to customer*.
C. DETRICK. |
1 1 1
LOVE AND AGE.
I played with you 'mid cowslips growing,
When I was six and you were four;
' When garlands wearing, flower balls throwing,
Were pleasures soon to please so more;
Tho' grores and meads, o'er grass and heather,
ij With little playmates, to and fro,
We wandered hand in hand together;
But that was sixty years ago.
You grew a lovely roseate maiden,
And still our early lore was strong;
Still with no care our days were laden.
They glided jealously along:
And I did lore you very dearly—
How dearly, words want power to show;
I thought your heart was touched as nearly
But that was fifty years ago.
Then other lovers came around you—
Your beauty grew from year to year,
And many a splendid circle found you
The eentre of its glittering sphere.
I saw you then first rows forsaking,
On rank and health yonr hand bestow;
O, then I thought my heart was breaking :
Bat that was forty years ago.
And I lived on to wed another;
No eause she gave me to repine;
And when I heard yon were a mother,
I did not wish the children mine.
My own young flock, in fair progression,
Made np a pleasant Christmas row;
My joy in them was past expression;
But that was thirty years ago.
Y'ou grew a matron, plump and comely,
Y'ou dwelt in fashion's brightest blaze;
No earthly lot was far more homely,
But I too had my festal days.
No merrier eyes have ever glistened
Around the hearth stone's wintry glow,
Than when my youngest child was christened;
But that was twenty years ago.
Time passed. My eldest girl was married,
And now I am a grandslre gray;
One pet of four years old I've carried
Among the wild-flowered meads to play.
In our old fields of childish pleasure,
Where now, as then, the cowslips blow,
She fills her baskets ample measure—
And this is not ten years ago.
But though first love's Impassioned blindness.
Has passed away In colder night,
I still have thought of you with kindness,
And shall do till our last good night.
The ever rolling, silent-hours _
Will bring a time we shall got know,
When our young days of gathering Bowers
Will be a hundred years ago.
SUNDAY NIGHT.
A light Is in the parlor,
A fire Is In the grate,
The clock upon the mantle,
Ticks out: '-It's getting late,*'
The curtains at the window.
Are made of snowy white,
The parlor is a pleasant place,
To sit in Sunday night.
There's books upon the table.
And pictures on the wall;
Then--there's a pretty sofa.
But the sofa isn't all:
If I am not mistaken,
(I'm sure that I am right,)
There is somebody sitting there,
This pleasant Sunday night.
They sit so near together,
At first we cannot see,
How many's on the sofa,
But I don't think there's throe.
The clock upon the mantle,
Ticks oat with all its might,
'Twill soon be Monday morning,
Instead of Sunday night.
The lamp Is burning dimly,
The fire is getting low.
Somebody says to someone else,
"It's time for me to go."
We hear a little whisper.
So gentle and so light,
"Don't forget to come again,
Another Sunday night. - '
VANTED —A WET NL KSE.— Once upon a
time an unsophisticated innocent young
woman, one of a large family of indigent
circumstances, resolved to make an effort
for personal independence by undertaking
some honest vocation. With this view she
searched newspapers, and decided to re
spond to an advertisement for a wet nurse.
On going to the house of the advertisers she
was confronted by the family physician,
who had been strictly enjoined to inquire
the condition of the applicants for the office,
in order to secure one of unqualified excel
lence. The following scene ensues :
Young woman (eagerly) —"I have come
to get a situation if it is not too late."
Physician (scanning the maidenly figure
before him) —"But. madame, you don't ap
pear to be very robust."
Young woman (confidently)—"Oh, sir,
my health is very good ; I haven't been sick
since I was a baby."
Physician —"Yes, madam, but is your
baby in good health ?"
Young woman (blushingly) —"I haven't
any l>afiy, sir."
Physician (energetically)—" Why are yon
not married ?"
Young woman i timidlv) —"No, sir, not
yet."
Physician (comprehending the situation)
—"Well, my dear young woman, I don't
think you will do for a wet nurse."
Y'oung woman—"Perhaps not at first,
sir ; but I am perfectly willing to learn."
Bow "Martha, dost thou love me V" asked
a Quaker youth of one at whose shrine his
heart's finest feelings had been offered.
"Why, Seth," answered she, "we are com
manded to love one another, are we not J"
"Ah, Martha, but dost thou regard me with
that feeling the world calls love ?" "I
hardly know what to tell thee, Seth, I have
tried to bestow my love on all; but I have
sometimes thought, perhaps, that thee was
getting more than thy share."
"To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right-"
BETTING ON A SURE THING.
A large steamer was being repaired and
repainted near one of the wharves of a
western city. A single narrow plank serv
ed for communication with the shore. A
large quantity of white lead was provided
for the painters, and one night before go
ing ashore, two of them, whom we will cali
Smith and Jones, though they would ap
preciate some of it to their own use. So
they tied a strong twine around their over
alls to the ankle, and filled in the space be
tween their trousers and over-alls with for
ty pounds, more or less, of white lead.
Going ashore in the dusk of the evening,
and walking clumsily in consequence of
the unusual load, Jones fell overboard into
the lake. Of course he sank like a mill
stone. The aloriQ given, and immedi
ately there were boats got out, and every
preparation made for rescue. Meantime,
Smith stood on shore, loudly bewailing.
"Oh dear ! Jone3 is drowned I His poor
wife and five little one—what will become
of them '? And Jones is dead ! Oh, dead,
dear!" m
"What are you blubbering about," said a
bystander. "Don't you see that they are
getting ready to haul him out ? He's got
to rise three times, you know ?"
"Wh —what's that you say !" asked
Smith.
"I tell you Jones ain't drowned—he'll be
rescued. He's got to come up three times.'
"Got to come up three times," repeated
Smith, pulling ont his money and chang
ing his whining tone to one of excited in
terest : Bet you at temps he don't come up
once.'
GUNPOWDER AND PRINTING.
It has been curiously remarked that
whereas gunpowder was invented by a
priest, the peaceful agency of printing
came from a soldier, and the singularity
has met the explanation that, by the substi
tution of fire-arms for the cold steel, war
has been rendered so much more terrible
as to have become far less destructive, while
from the printing press has poured forth
such a llood of antagonistic books, papers,
and.pamphlets, moral, political, social, and
religious, as to have set the whole of Chris
tendom by the ears, not to speak of the im
petus given to the carrying of civilization,
with its attendant ills of unknown vices
and diseases, into heathen lands. From
this the cynical conclusion is reached that
old Bacon was indeed true to his priestly
culling of good when devising the operative
principle of these vile guns, these caps,
these mines, these magazines, cliassepots,
Sniders, needle-guns, Paixhams, Napole
ons, Laneasters, Whitwortlis, while, in hit
ting on the printing press, and thereby in
finitely increasing the conflict of minds,
tighter Faust set more squadrons in the
in the field than were ever hairs upon his
head or thoughts in his brain.
ft®;" A correspondent of that mild rhan
nered journal, the Anti-Slavery Stuuthrd,
tlms lifts up his voice and howls at the
abominations of earth :
"Mammon bullies us from the bench of
justice, cajoles us in our halls of legislature,
and not unfrequently grins at us out of the
pulpit. The daily press, with a few excep
tions, instead of instructing us, has become
our betrayor, the advestiscr of all abomina
tions, and the debancher of the morals of
the community. The theatre follows suit.
Instead of holding the mirror to nature,
"showing virtue her own features, scorn
her own image, and the very age and body
of the time its form and pressure," it has
become a place of assignation, where blas
phemy and lewdness pass current for wit,
where Shnkiq>eare is crowded off the boards
by troops of half-naked women."
ftapA bashful youth was paying his ad
dresses to a gay lass of the country, who
hail only despaired of bringing things to a
crisis. He called one day when she was at
home alone. After settling the merits of
the weather, the girl said, looking slyly in
to his face:
"I dreamed of you last night."
"Did yen now ? why now ?"
"Yes, I dreamed that you kissed me."
"Why now I what did you dream your
mother said ?"
"Oh, I dreamed that she was not at
home."
A light dawned on the youths intellect,
a singular sound broke the stillness, and
in less than four months they were married.
WIFE WANTED. —A resident of "Sugar
Hollow," advertises lor a wife in the fol
lowing manner :
"Any gal what's got a cow, a good feath
er bed, with comfortable fixins, five hun
dred dollars of hard pewter, one that's got
the measles and understands tendin' chil
dren, can find a customer for life, by writ
in' a small bilit/ dtw , addressed O. Z., and
stickiu' it in a crack of uncle Ebenezor s
barn, back side, joinin' the hog pen.
JgyAn exhange says the man who takes
a newspaper for a number of years, and
then refuses to pay for it, would steal a pas
sage to Heaven in u secret comer of a streak
oflightning, and smuggle gold from the
streets of New Jerusalem to buy stumps of
half-penny cigars.
hath no heed needs no heart.
HEARING OF THE BLIND. —The blind boys
| in school know the step of all their school
fellows with unerring certainty. Thus, a
boy haVlng missed his friend at play, he
watches for liim as the ranks file past,
walking round the green sward, or march
ing in to dinner. He hears the tramp of
, his friend amid the din and scuffle of the
other boys long ere he lias reached him,
and pounces upon him with the same cer
tainty as though he saw him. Indeed, the
blind speak of hearing as gpeiug. If from
the sound, they know that the master has
lolt the room, they say, "I saw him go
out." It is a curious fact that blind peo
ple never run against each other. Tims
when playing prisoner's base—a name
which leads to some rough jostling, even
amongst boys gifted with their eyes—those
sightless little fellows but rarely come into
collison with each other. Each boy, when
he enters the work-shop in which he is
employed in basket making—a room twenty
feet wide by one hundred and fifty in length
—marches up to his own seat and box, nev
er by any chance mistaking his place.—
If they are in search of a friend and they
happen to call out Ins name in an empty
j room, they never stop for aq answer, their
sense of hearing telling them that there is
no one in it. Air. Anderson, of Edinburgh
tells a tale that will illustrates this point:
"1 had occasion, ' he says, "to send out a
blind man with a mattress. I gave him a
bill with it, that he might receive payment.
But to my surprise, lie returned with the
account and mattress too." "I've brought
back baith, ye see, sir, ' said he, "How so ?"
"Indeed, sir, I dinna like to leave't yonder
else I am sure we wad never see the siller—
there's uae a stick of furniture within the
door ' "How do you come to know that?"
"Oh, sir, twa taps on the door wi' my stick
soon told me that; " and the man's esti
mate proved to lie correct.
Anvi< E TO YOUTH. —Live as long as you
may, the first twenty years form the greater
part of your life. They appear so when
they are passing, they appear to have been
so when.we look back to them; and they
take up more room in our memory than all
the years that succeed them. If this be so,
how important that they should be passed
in planting good principles, cultivating good
tastes, and strengthening good habits;
fleeing from all those pleasures which lay
up bitterness and sorrow for all time to
come. Take good care of the first twenty
years o£ your life, and you may hope that
the last twenty years will take good care of
you. *
COFFEE AS A DEODORIZER. —Coffee is spok
en of in high terms as a deodorizer for the
neutralizing of foul odors that emanate from
organic bodies in a state of decay, as it can
be used to advantage where other diseufect
ing agents would be inadmissible. In cases
when rats die in the spaces between the
floors of dwellings, the intolerable odor
arising therefrom can be effectually remov
ed by placing a pound or two of fresh burnt
and ground coffee between the floors. For
the purification of a sick room it is incom
parably superior to burning rags, as it has
a lienetieial chemical action on the atmos
phere of the room, and gives besides an
agreeable perfume.
THIS YEAR AND THE METHODISTS, —The
year 1869 is destined to be the most impor
tant in the annals of American Methodism.
During the year the people will be called
upon to decide whether or no they will ac
cept the measures proposed to them by the
General Conference for the admission of
lay representatives to that assembly and
tlip Annual Conferences. It is also an im
portant fact that a new constituency has
been created by the late General Confer
ence : all members of the Church over
twenty-one years of age, whether male or
female, will l>e eligible to vote on this ques#
tion.
B'rip "Vigorous economy" has been adopt
ed as the rallying . cry of expiring Radical
ism. A few days ago, Mr. YVashburno, of
Illinois, made public the following exhibit
of the way the Radicals practice "vigorous
economy" in the National House of Rep
.resentatives : "Capital police, 56,1,000 ;
"clerks, £80,000; sergeant-at-arnis, £6,000 ;
"postoffiee, £20.000; laborers, £l6, 000;
"folding room, £60,000; door-keepers, £l4-
"000; clerks to committees, £36.000; pages
"£B,OOO, total, £315,000." It would be im
possible to find a better specimen of "rigo
rous economy" than the above.
THE I'UIDE OF DRESS. —Du Cliaillu de
scribes the customs of the court of King
Diops in the following manner: "The
King wore a dress coat and nothing else ;
his first minister wore a shirt without
sleeves—and nothing else ; his second min
ister wore a necktie—and nothing else ; the
third was adorned with a hat —and nothing
else ; but the Queen varied the fashions by
wearing an umbrella —and nothing else."
fieu" "That's very singular," said a young
lady to a gentleman who had kissed her.—
"Oh, weU, my dear miss, 1 can make it
plural."
If nature abhors a vacuum, why
does she permit so many empty headed
people to live ?
The Public Debt.
The following is the statement of the
public debt of the United States on the Ist
day of February, 1869 :
Debt bearing coin Interest *(2,107,350,050 51
Dobt bearing currency lntereit 71,-UO.Ooo oo
MutureU debt not presented lor payment 0,910.#5ti G4
Debt bearing no interest 424.191,720 00
6 per cent, lawful money bond* issued
to the Pacific Railroad Companies 52.017,000 IK)
Total Debt *2,862,379,707
Amount in Treasury 106.174,049 10
Amount of debt less cash in Trca'y *2,558, 205.658 08
The warrants issued by tho Treasury De
partment during the month of January,
1869, to meet the requirements of the Gov
ernment, amounted, in round numbers, to
the following sums, viz ;
Civil, Miscellaneous and Foreign Inter
ests *44.419,000 00
Interest on Public Debt 30,704,000 00
War Department 0.524.000 00
Interior, Pension and Indians # 832,01) 00
The warrants issued for the redemption
of the public debt are not included in the
above.
The National Debt is officially reported
at 82,556,20J,U58, bhowing an apparent in
crease of over Fifteen Millions during Jan
uary. All know that this occasioned by
the payment, on the Ist of January, of six
months' interest on a large portion 0 the
Debt, and that most of the apparent in
crease is as illusory as was the decrease re
ported for December, when little or no in
terest was paid. Still, tho fact remains]
that we owe more and have less cash j
than a month ago, and that the issue of j
new bonds to the Central line of Pacific I
Railroad is keeping the market gorged with '
Government securities at prices far below I
their real value, and that we are constantly j
importing fabrics and gewgaws that we ought j
to do without, and meeting the bids by ex- j
porting and selling at twenty per cent, dis
count six per cent, bonds which our child" 1
ren and grand-children will have to pay.
This cannot always go on, and should be
stopped at once. Men in Congress I what
do you propose to do about it ?— X. Y.
Tribune.
A Picture for a Poor Man,
Don Piatt, the Radical correspondent
of that Radical sheet, tho Cincinnati Com
mercial will some times tell some ugly
truths in reference to Radical officials. He
thus speaks of a certain well-known Senator:
"I look across the street and see in front
of a Senator's house the carriage of another
Senator. The pair of blooded horses cost
some thousand dollars. The gilded harness
is in keeping. The close, handsome shin
ing coach Is one of Brenton's best, lined
with silk velvet, and graced with the choic
est and thickest of plate-glass. On the
coachman's seat sit two of Gods creatures,
called men ; one a bright mulatto, the other
a white man, and both in lively*. Sitting
in solemn silence, under their robe of furs
and white glove* Directly the door of the
house opens, and two ladies carrying a poor
man's fortune on their backs, descended
the steps. The footman swings down and
opens the door, with an easy grace the mas
ter cannot imitate. The door closes with a
bang, the footman mounts, and the coach
rolls away. Well, it seems but yesterday
that the owner of all this came here a poor
man.
YYe remember the fairy tale where the
old witch touched the pumpkin and turned
it into a coach, and touched the rats and
turned them into horses. And so the ugly
witch of the lobby touched the poor man,
and out of fraud came the coach, and out
of theft came the horses, and swindle
drives, and stealings oil and burnish. Like
tliat witch, I could touch that man with
this delicate little pen of mine, and carriage
and horses, coachman and footman, would
all disappear. For honor and honesty
would claim their own, and the very clothes
would fall from tho backs of wifo and
daughters."
Mrs Surratt.
The remains of Mrs. Surratt, who was
murdered by military commission, in vio
lation of civil law and legal testimony, were
removed from the arsenal grounds, by di
rection of the president, on Monday last,
and given up to friends for decent burial.
The proceedings were quietly performed.
Seven carriages entered tho enclosure, and
taking the remains, proceeded to a Catho
lic cemetary. accompanied bp Miss Annie
Surratt. brother, and friends. How far
this will relieve President Johnson of the
stain upon his soul for not putting a stop
to that infamous proceeding ; or the mock
court for murdering an inoffensive woman,
when they had tangible evidence of her in
nocence, we are not prepared to surmise.
One of the parties, a shiuing light in the
Republican ertmp, has already gone to his
final account, a self-murderer; driven
thither by the cries of distress from a heart
broken daughter of the victim, and which,
doubtless, ever after haunted liis sleeping
and wakeing dreams.
The lxxlv of Mrs. Surratt. was compact
and firm, the features perfect except in col
or, the dress looke d well, and her gaiter
boots appeared not the least soiled. Upon
the day of her murder her daughter Annie
; put a steel arrow upon her mother's dress,
close to the neck ; it was also there perfect.
A bottle with the name of Mrs. Surratt
written on parchment and sealed therein,
was also found in the coffin. — Ex.
Stitf ' A little boy being asked in Sunday
School—What is the chief end of man ? an
swered, the end what's got the head on.
• TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance
IBisf & flttier&iis£.
t®" Men are said to dress '"within an
inch of their lives." "Women may 1*
sniil to undress within an inch of their
knees.
'"This world is nil a fleeting show,"
said a jifitwfc to a culprit on the gallows.—
"Yes.' was the prompt reply; "but if you
have no objection, I'd rather see the show
a littl<*ioj]ger."
B&~ "Did I understand you to say that
I was lousy, sir ?" "Oh, no I merely told
my friend that when it rained lice in Egypt
I thought YOU must have been walking
about there without hat or umbrella—that's
all."
■fcUJ" At a medical examination, a young
aspirant for a physician's diploma was ask
ed, "When does lnortiiication ensue ?"
"When you propose and are rejected," was
the reph that greeted the amazed <jues-
I tioner,
Kate hates moustaches. "Somneh hair
Makes every man look like a bear."
but anny, who no thought can fetter,
i Blurtejont: "Themorelikebearsthebetter
Because," her pretty shouldersshruggin',
"Bear; are shell glorious chaps for huggin*
A wag hai ing taken his seat in a
crowded omnibus, a stout gentleman look
ed in find politely asked :
"All full inside ? " * 1
"I don t know liow it may be with the
other passengers," answered the wag, drily
"lrnt that piece of oyster-pie did the busi
ness for vie."
fte" "I say, Phil, who is that pretty girl
I saw you walking with List Sunday ? "
"Miss Hogges!"
"H.gges ! well, she is to be pitied for
having such a name."
"So I think", Joe," rejoined Phil; "I
pitied her so much that I offered her mine,
and she is going to take it."
fesr* T. nolo ; ' I dare say, when I take
you home again, Charlie, your mamma
will have a nice present for you. What
would you like best, my boy—a little broth
er or a little sifter ? " Charlie (after some
consideration :) "Well, if it makes no dif
ference to ma. I'd rather have a little
pony."
fey" A sick man, slightly conrelescing re
cently in conversation -with n pions friend,
congratulating Mm on hi- recovery, and
asking him who his physician was, replied :
"Doctor Jones brought inc through.'.
"Xo, no," said his friend, "God broug *
you out of your illness, not the doctor."
"Well, maybe he did, but lam certain
the doctor will charge mo for it."
"Persevere, persevere," saidau old
lady to her maid ; "it's the only way you
can accomplish great things." One day
eight apple-dumplings were sent down
stairs, and they all disappeared. "Sally
where are those dumplings?" "I managed
to get through them, ma'm," replied Sally,
"Why, how on earth did you manage to
eat so many dumplings'? " "By persever
ance, ma'm." , ■>
' "What are you doing there, Jane ? "
"Why pa, I'm going to dye my doll's
•pinafore red." '
"But what have you got to dye it ? "
"Beer."
"Who on earth told von that beer would
dye red ?"
"Why, ma said it mm brer that made
your nose sored, and—"
"Here, Susan, take this child." *
AN* TP.ISU PAT. A ex. --5 A railway contractor
overheard one of his party lamenting his
hardships since coming out to America,
drawing for a contrast, a bright sketch of
his life in the "auld count! lry."
"Oil, said the com plainer, with a sigh.
'MY I was only book ngiu to me father's
palish !"
"Your father's palish, is it ? " responded
a fellow workman, with a jollv squint of hi-,
eyo at the distressed "noble scion." "Sure
an cvye wor there, ye moight stlian' on tli"
groun' an' reach yer han' down the chiru
blpy an' open the door ev it."
T RVTVO TTTK OOT.OR.—An old lady from
the country went recently to a linen-dra
per's shop and began examining a piece of
cotton-print. She pulled it this way and
that, as if she would tear it to pieces, held
it up to tlio light in different positions ;
wetted a corner and rubbed it between her
lingers, trying if the colors fwere good.—
Then she paused awhile, seemingly not en
tirely satisfied. At last she cut off a piece
with a pair of scissors she had dangling at
| her side, and handing it to a tall, gawky
-1 looking girl, of about sixteen, standing be-
I side her, said : a
'•litre, liizey June, you tike an' chaw
that, n' ace if it fades."
liizrr Jane put it into her month accord
ingly, and dutifully went to work.
10. 29.