fSpmiM iemorrat.
HARVEY SICKLER. Publisher.
VOL. VIII.
iUpmmg p morrat.
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AHVERTISIHG, as may be agreed upon.
PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisement^ OJ
the Column :
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IFT EDITOP i AL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with
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JOB WORK
fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit
•he times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB,
WORK u:ust be paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
I IT 11,1. .v MI Tellll, ATTORNEYS. Office
II ,ti IV Trrn Stistt Tuilkhnutiock .
W. E. LITTLE. J. A. SITTSEK. i
Ij N. ONH*EI. PnTSICIAN A SURGE IN !
tL. Xcwion Centre. Luzerne County i'a.
i i I , I'AKkISH. ATTOKNET AT LAW I
' •iHi *at th Court House, in Tuiikhutiock |
W T :i inr Co. Pa.
V\ '-< . iV.I I'. Al'lOl< XKI A1 LAU of i
it lice in S'ark-'e Briik Block Tioga St.. Tunk- j
IMM-k.!'.. .. |
T J ( lIASL, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL-J
1 l.t:K Al LAW, Nicholso.t, Wyoming Civ, Pa j
t-,e iO titled ion given to settlement ot de'-e- j
: lit'.- i -i.iiAs
i. h ILS HI. Pi. Dec 5 l-,;7 —v7nl9_vl
MJTWII.tMITI, Al io NFY AT LAW, Col
. Ici'fiug an I lic.il Estate Agent. lowa l ands
r MIC. Scran'on, Pa. LStf.
( STEKHOrTA HEWITT. Atto'ncye' at LIW
' ' i 2, e opp. site the lJ.ink. Tunkbaano -k. Pa.
P M. o?TEklIOl'T. G. li. HEWITT
| W. Nllllilh, PHYSICIAN .1 SURGEON.
J. mil attend jprom tly to all calls in his pro
;toiiiti. May be lound nt his Office at the Drug
v. re or at bis residence on Putin an Srcet, formerly
. upitd by A. K. Pei'kham Esq.
SR. E. F. AVERY'Sa@k
' EXTAI. ; OFSICE. UJj -u J-:'
er Burn s Bros.. Jewelry Store. Tunkhannock, Pa.
til styles of Dental work scientifically
t: • .in 1 warranted. Particular attention given to
igli.i ninir li regular or deficient teeth.
E\ i: iu'itlons made, and advice given without
-u Etlier. al Snray administered when desired,
r ! rm a.linini rtired under direction of a Physl-
I idi nit iges ot employing a local and re
-1 ■dentist arenpparent to all. vBn27t.
Prof. J. Berlinghof.
iasl)ionablt Barbrr & gair-tuttfr,
AT TUNKIIANNOCK, PA.
HAIR Woven, and Braided, for Switches,|or Curled,
tad Waterfalls of every sixe and style, manufactur
to order.
The highest market prices paid for LadiW Hair,
All the approved kinds of Hair Restorers and
1 teasing constantly kept on hand and sold at Man
ufacturers retail prices.
Hair and Whiskers colored to every natural
iuade.
JACOB BERLINGHOF.
Totik , Pa. Jan. 5, '69.—vSn22-tf,
PACIFIC HOTEL, ~
1T0,172,174 & 176 Greenwich Street.
*X DOOR roBTLASDT STRXET, NEW YORK.)
The unpersigned takes pleasure in annonnclng to
numerous friends and patrons that from this
the charge of the Pacific will be
$2.50 PER DAY.
Heine -de Proprietor of this house, and therefore
tee from the too common exaction of an Inordinate
tat. he is fully aide to meet the downward tenden
cy '■! prices without any falling off of service.
It will nnw. as heretofore, be bis aim to maintain
•' limbht-d the favo-able reputation of the Paeifio,
•~lch it has enjoyed for many years, as one of the
' of travelers' notels.
THE TABLE will be bountifully supplied with
"try delicacy of the season.
NiK ATTENDANCE will be found efficient and
sad obliging.
THE LOCATION will be found convenient for
• ■ whose business calls tbem in the lower part of i
t'y. and of ready access to all Hail Road and
• eunboat Lines.
JOHN PATTEN. |
"etioth lstid. nlB 6m.
HUFFORI) HOUSED;
niLKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO.. PA
THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY j
Ben r fir:a lan I lumished in >h late" style,
try mention will bo given to the comfort and
• n- of those who pn rmnire the Rouse.
!!. Ht'FFORD Proprietor.
• ■ khatnoek. lit., June 17, —v7,.44
BOLTON HOUSE.
H AiIKISIH Ifil, I'KNNA.
Ti- und- rsigned having lately pur based the
'■ i.lil.EU IB U SE " property, has"alreuly eom
-i"*i e I .j-h alterations and improvements as will
' '"f 'hi- old and |sipul:ir House r jual, if not su|-
■ to ,rv Hotel in the City of Hirrisbtirg.
•ntiiiuan eof the publi - patronage is retpeet
- •> -on lied.
DEO J. BOLTON
WALL s HOTEL,
LAVE AMERICAN HOUSE/
11 G.LIK.VOTK, WYOMING CO., FA.
I f t v •it ibliihiuent has recently been refitted an
1 tuni -bed in toe latest style Every attention
;ivdu to tb comfort and convenience ot rflns#
" 6 lu'r i.iie ihe House.
, T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor .
1 U "*nuuautfk,deptambar ||, IStfl.
SO* S.| -a. juo.
| *
TUNKIIANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, FEB. 10, 1869.
The new Broom stili
new!
! AND WITH THE NE'.V YE \R,
Will b used with more rtreeping eOsct than hereto
fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choiee
ann desirable GOODS, at tbo
New Store
OF
C DETRICK,
in S. Stark'a Bn:k Block
AT TUNKHANNOCK, PEI'A.
Where can be 'oond, at all times, one of the Largest
and Richest assortments ever offored in this vicinity,
Consisting of
BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS
SILKS,
FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS,
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
. POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS,
BLACK LUSCE AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL, ARMURE PEKIN
AND MOUSELIKE DELAINS, rNPORTED
AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS,
of Best Manufactures.
—:o;———
Ladies Cloths and S&cqueings,
FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN
GOODS, ArC.. LADIES RETH 'ULES.
SHOPPING BAGS and BASKETS.
TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
Hosiery and G'oves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, nd Yamkee notions
in endless va
riety.
HOOPSKIRTS k VORSETTS,
direct from the manufacturers, at great y
reduced price*.
FLANNELS all Colors ind Qualities
KNIT GOODS,
Cloths,
C'assimeres,
Vesting*,
Cot tOnsde,
Sheet
Shirting*,
Drills.
Denims,
Ticks, Stripes. Arc.
Every Description of
BOOTS & SHOES, i
HATS & CAPS.
Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur
tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil-
Cloths, Crockery. Glass and Stoneware.
Tinware,
Made expressly for this trade, and war
lanted to give Satisfaction, at 20 per cent,
cheaper than the usual rates in this section.
HARDWARE & CUTLERY, of al
kinds,
SILVER PLATED WARE,
Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials,
Putty, Window Glass, &c.
KEROSENE 'OIL,
Chandeliers,
Lamps,
Lanterns,
Lantern Glares,
Lamp Chimneys,
' Shades and
Curuers.
COAL,
ASHTON, Sf BBL. SALT
FLOUR.
FEED,
MEAL,
BUTTER.
CHEESE, ,
LARD.
PORK. j
HAMS, |
| and FI?!L
SUGAR,
I TEA,
COFFEE
6 PICES. *
SYRUP. A
MOLASSES,
WOOD A WILLOW WARE,
ROPO, T'ORDACP.
I PATENT MEDICINES DRUGS, and DYES,
FLAVORING EXTRACTS Ac., Ac,
These goods have been selected
with great fare to suit the wants of
this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
tor cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
for the past liberal patronage, I shall
endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance ot
the same, and will try to make the
ftiture still more attractive and ben
eficial to customers.
a DETRICK.
.{ mwM*
A MODERN DRINKING SONG.
FBI high t he bowl with Fwsil Oil!
1 With Tanntn let your enps be crowned 1
If Strychtflne gives relief to Toll,
Let Strychnine's generous juice abound !
Let Oil of Vitrol cool your brains,
Or, animated atoms brew —
And fill your arteries, heart and veins,
With glee—and Infusorial glue!
Wine 1 That died out In 'sB—
fool would have it back ? And how f
The "cup that will inebriate
And never cheer," they sell tts now.
"The conscious water saw tts God
And blushed." What or It! Dont you feel
That water knows the Druggers rod.
And blushes now—with Cochineal!
Ah-h ! Fragrant fume of Kreosote !
Bewitching bow! of Prussian Blue t
Who wonlil not soothe his parching throat
With your mild offspring "Mountain Dew!"
Stronger than aught that racked the frame
And shook the mighty brain of Burns.
Surely, ye'll set our heads aflame,
Whene'er his festal day returns! ,
Bring on the Beer—Fresh Copperas foam I
With Alum mixed, in powder fine,
How could iny foolish fancy roam
In search of whiter froth than thine?
Thy Indian Berry's essence spread
Through amber wavelets, sparkling clear,
Benumbs dull Care—strikes Feeling dead—
And narcotizes Shame and Fear !
Far down thy bubbling depths. Champagne!
Drown'd Honor, Love and Beauty lie—
They fought the unequal fight In vain—
Shall we, too, merely drink—and die t
Sweet Acetate of Lead, forbid !
Fill every drink with prangs—and tell
What tortures could—and always did—
Anticipate the stings of Hell!
Then drink, boya, drink ! We never can
Itrlnk younger! And we never will
Be men—or aught resembling man.
While poisoners have the power to kill!
Amen ! From Frenry's sereeeh of mirth
To maudlin Sorrow's drivelling flow.
We'll ravo, through scenes unmatched on earth, j
And not to be surpassed below!
gs
FIRMNESS.
Well, let him go, and let him stay
Ido not mean to die;
I guess he'll find that 1 can live
Without him if I trf :
lie thought to frightful? with frowns.
So terrible and MsHjL
He'll stay away a ihMHfsnd years
Before 1 ask him back.
He said that I had actol wrong,
And foolishly beside;
I won't forget him after that—
I wouldn't If 1 had died.
1 If I was wrong, what right had he
I To be so cross with me ?
I know I'm not an angel quito—
I don't pretend to be.
He had another sweetheart once,
And now when we fall out,
He always says she was not cross,
And that she didn't pout.
It Is enough to vex a saint—
It's more than I can bear ;
I wish that girl of his was—
Well, I fion't care where.*
He thinks that she was pretty, too,
Was beautiful as good ;
I wonder if she'd get hlin back j
Again, now, If sho could T
I know she would, and there she is—
She lives almost in sight;
And now It's after nine o'clock—
Perhaps, he's there to-night.
I'd almost write to him to come-
But then I've said I won't;
I do not care so much, but she
Shan't have him if I don't
Besides, I know that I was wrong,
And he was in the right;
I guess I'll tell him so—and then—
I wish he'd come to-night.
ACXT LIZZIE'S COURTSHIP. —Why, you
see, when my man came a courtin' me, I
hadn't the least thought of what he was after
not I. Jobie came to our house one night,
after dark, and rapped on the door. I open
ed it, and sure enough their was Jobie.
Come in, RCZ I; take a cheer.
No, Lizzie, sez he. I,ve come of an arrant
and 1 always do my arrauts fust.
But you had better come in and take a
cheer, Mr. W
No, I can'h The fact is, Lizzie,l've coino
on this 'ere courtin' bisness. My wife's
been dead these three weeks, and every
thing's Iteen going to rack and ruin right
along. Now, Lizzie, of you're a mind to
hev me, and take care of my house, and my
children, an mv things, tell me, un I'll
come in an take a cheer, if not, I'll get some,
one else tu.
j Why, I was skeer d. and sed—
If you come on this courtin' business, |
| come in, I must think on't a little.
No, 1 can t till I know. That's my ar
i rant. And 1 can't sit down till my arrant's
t done.
1 should like to think on't a day or two I
Now, you needn,t Lizzie.
Well, Jobie, if I must, 1 must—so here's 1
tu ye then.
. Ho Mr. W onne in. Then he went !
after tho .Squire an he married us right off
aud I went home with Jobie that very night
I tell you what it is, these long courtin's
' don't amount to nothing at aIL Just M
well do it in a liui rv.
i
tatf The New York Errning Post has for
many years had upon its subscription book
the ii'Qiie of Para Bard-£auuletch Pltra
i Phara-ineudr-Maha-Monkut. These few let
ters constituted the name of the late King
1 of Siam. gfc
1 [ The report tHPUiere had been an
j earthquake in New Jersey is said to have
j been a "dboctoag" tie.
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
: THE WARNING AT.THE BRIDGE.
BY HERO STRONG.
In the year 'fil I was Superintendent of
the Horwich and Rocky River Railroad.
It was a line which did a good run of
business, connecting as it did a great city
with a flourishing back country, and we
ran a pretty good number of trains over
the rails in the course of twenty-four hours.
The daily trains were every hour, but af
ter nine in the evening there was only one
train until tho steamboat accomodation at
lialf-past three in tho morning.
This intervening train was the Belport
mail. It was made up at Belport, and ran
as far as Clinton, express all the way.
Belport was the Lirge city of which I
have spoken, and it was there that my of
fice was located, for the business of the
road was all settled aud arranged at that
end of the line.
Of course I give fictitious names, and the
reader need uot expect to find Belport on
any railway map.
The 12:30 train, or the midnight mail as
it was more frequently designated, WdS mjl
by Earl Rogers, a young man of seven or
eight and twenty, who had been employed
on the road for several years. .
He was the best engine driver on the cor
poration, uid for that reason he had been
selected for the. train, it Iteing deemed ex
pedient to place mun'of the best judgement
on tlio train, because there was a better
look out required by night.
Earl, taken in all, was one of the finest
fellows I ever saw. Frank, handsome, gen
erous to a fault, and very well educated.
He had fallen into the vocation of an en
gineer more from his love of excitement
and danger than anything else perhaps ;
and if there was ever any particularly per- ]
iious bu 'iness to be done, Earl Rogers was j
always our man.
For some time he liad been desperately
ni love with Laura Demain, t*he daughter ,
of a rich old fellow just on the other side of i
Rocky River, a half-dozen miles beyond
Belport. This love was fully returned, j
for Laura was a noble-hearted girl, and did j
not cure for wealth or ambition when ,
in the balance with love ; but old
Domain and she were two, and there was
no probability of his ever giving his eon
sent.
He liad set his heart on her marrying
Prince Carleton, a young blood of the vi
cinity, reputed wealthy, and of an old fam-
Uy-
Domain's opposition naturally made the
more determined, and they only
waited an increase of Earl's salary to be
married in spite ot Papa Demain. Earl
was a faithful fellow, aud I was doing my
bent with the Company to get an advance
for him with' every probability of success.
Somehow I took a strong interest in
Earl's love affairs, I am an old cooger, and
love matters are rather out oft my line, my
forte being the calculating of accounts, the
regulation of freight rates, and the man
agement of business so as to secure the lat
est dividends to the stockholders.
Perhaps my interest in Earl's love for
Laura might be because I most cordially
detected Prince Carleton. He was always
"Mowing" our road, finding fault with the
rate of spaed, with the grade, with the car
riages, with the ventilation, with every
thing in short, for notliing suited him.
Then upon one occasion he and I had a
few words neither very pleasant nor very
choice, and he call me a "d—d old scoun
drel," and I had returned the compliment
with interest. After that wo wore worse
friends than ever.
One dark rainy night in November, just
after the nine o'clock train had got off, and
I was sitting in the office trying to balance
an account vbut would not balance, the
door opened aud Earl Rogers walked in.
He had on his waterproof suit, the liood up
over his head, and the collar buttoned
closely, but I saw that his face was very
pale and bis eyes gleamed with unnatural
fire,
' 'What in the world has happened Rog
ers V" said I. "You look as gram as if you
were going to your own funeral"
"Mr. Woodbury," said he, earnestly,
"Do you believe in presentiments ?"
"No," said I. "I certainly do not! They |
are old women's whims !"
"Perhaps so, I wish I could think so,"
j said he, sadly. "I have been trying Laid
' to,"
"What is "it. Earl V Anything gone j
wrong with Laura ?" for I did not know but |
I the little jade had been playing off with him I
after the manner of women.
"Me. You will laugh at me. Mr. Wood- j
I bury, but I must tell somebody, or I shall ;
get'ont of my wits," said he half laughing, 1
"and before Heaven I tell you it is all
truth. Thursday afternoon, I took a hand
ear tod went over to Rocky River Bridge. \
I do not mind confessing that I went on I
purpose to get a glimpse of her home—per
haps of herself. I stood at one end of the !
bridge—looking across at the house—en-*!
raptured at sight of a scarlet shawl which I
knew was hers flitting in and out through
the frost-bitten shrubbery of the garden.
i "And while I was looking at fcer, I heard
footsteps, and glancing up, I saw myself
mining from the opposite side of the Bridge I
I I ww draoaJ in ftrt grit </f waterprddfr- |
{ my face was pale as death, and my wida<
open eyes were blank and expressionless
Sir, you think I am dazed, but I am telling
only the truth ! While I stood staring at
the vision it disappeared; and weak and
trembling I came back to town. By the
next day—yesterday, I hail reasoned my
self ouf of lielief in anything of the kind.
It was a hallucination, I said, and to prove
it so, I would go out there again, and see
if it would appear for the second time. I
went again yesterday, and sir, the same
thing was repeated ! It will come once
more—and then I shall go to my death !"
"Nonsense 1" said I, "Come, Earl, be hon
est, and confess that you had been taking
too much whiskey !"
"I never drink anything, as you know,
Mr. Woodbury," returned he, "and this
thing was fearfully real. And of one re
sult, I am satisfied. If I rtfn the ma 1
train out to-night, I shall be killed, anU
Heaven knows what will be the fate of thi
train ! I suppose it could be taken off foi
to-night ?"
"Taken off ! What in the duco do you
mean ?" snapped I—"this road runs trains
as advertised ! Cowardly engineers to the
contrary, notwithstanding."
He looked at me sagely, reproachfully—
and I could have kicked myself for the wax
I had spoken to him.
"It was not on my own account, sir,'
said he—"but it is only a few days befor-
Thanksgiving, and the train will be a fuL
one. If there is an accident it may be a
bail one."
"Accident !" said I contemptuously—
"Fiddlestick ! Come in to-morrow, ano
let me laugh at you."
He bid me good night gravely, and wen!
out.
Presently the clock struck twelve and I
| heard the three sharp, successive whistle
I that told me the train was nearly ready
1 A strange feeling of apprehension seized
! me. What if anytliiug should happen -
Yielding to an impulse which would not be
i controlled. I threw on my overcoat, turn
-1 ed ont the gas, locked the office and hur
riefi over to the depot just in season t<
i catch the rail of the rear and swing my
j self on board.
Earl Rogers stood at his post, pale and
silent, yet alert and watchful. By the head
light in the locomotive he could see tin
track for a half mile ahead, and his keen
eyes scanned every inch of the way as tin
train swept ou. Past Romiane station
past the Mill Cut, past Hill's Embankment
and they plunged into the belt of wood.-
which skirted Rocky River.
Suddenly as they swept around a curve—
Earl's cheek whitened and he drew his
breath in quick and hard ! What he saw
just befot-e the train warned him that onfy
death and destruction lay ahead. He
could, probably, save himself by leaping
off, but that would doom all on board
Not a second did he hesitate. The sharp
whistle to down brakes sounded—he re
versed steam and did Everything in hispow
er to stop the train. When he saw that hi:
eflurts were in vain, that the obstacle which
lay across the track only a few rods in ad
vaxice*could not be avoided, he sprang ove:
the wood-box and unhooked from the car
riages. The engine, released from the
drag, shot ahead, and the next iustan l '
plunged forward into the gulf ? There
was a crash—a succession of shrill whistles
from the escaping steam, and all was still !
Not one of the cars wont down —the firsl
one halted on the very brink of the abyss
as if the more fearfully to impress upon the
minds of the passengers the terrible danger
they had escaped.
Before the train eamo to a stop I had
jumped out, and was flying forward
looking for Eearl Rogers. They pointed
into the river in answer to my inquiries,
and seizing a lantern from the hands of one
of the brakesmen, I climbed down the
bank and found him.
He lay under the wreck of the locomo
tive—pale and bloody, with no breath
comiug from his icy lips.
The two strokers were a little way off—
stone dead.
I am an old man, but I did not feel the
weight of that poor fellow as I carried him
up the bank, and on to the house of De
main—which happened to be the nearest
residence.
Of course, old Demain could not refuse
him admittance under the circumstances,
and iu five minutes Laura was with metry
i iiig to restore the lifeless man to conscious
; uess. She was all courage and hope ; but
for her we should have given him up for
; dead, and I to this day firmly lteheve that
: her presence and her care, brought him
I back from death.
I She never flinched while the surgeon
amputated his leg at the knee—it was the
only way to save him, Dr. Green said, and
Laura he'd the poor head of the patient to
j her bosom anil his hands in hers through
| the whole operation.
The accident, it was found, hail been oc
casioned by a stick of timber pinned across
the track, and the railroad company offered
*! a reward of a thousand dollars for the dis
covery of the rascally perpetrator.
No matter how we found it out, but, it
was ascertained, beyond a doubt that Prince
Coi leton was the guilty party. He confess
ed it when we had him snug and safe—and
said that because he wanted Earl Rogers
louttf OfeYftp U tag*! (ft
whole concern, (meaning the road corpera.
tion,) he had this plan of diabolical revenge.
His father was a millionaire, and bought
up onr silence handsomely.—Prince went
to California, and I do not know what be
came of him.
Old Domain proved himself a trump af
ter ail, and gave in gracefully. He is dead
now, and Earl and Laura live at the old
place, as lyippy a couple as ever I saw.
As for Earl's warning, you may believe
what you like ahont it. I have no expla
nation to offer.
SPEAK LOW. —I know some houses well
budt and handsomely furnished, where it
fS aot pleasant to be even a visitor. Shai p,
•.ugry tones resound through theni from
morning till night, fcnd is as contagious as
• he measles, and much more to be dreaded
,u a household. The children catch it and
it lasts for life. A friend had such a neigh
•>or within hearing of her house, and even
Poll Parrot has caught the tone, and de-
Lights in screaming and scolding, until she
oad been sent into the country to improve
uer habits. Children catch cross tones
quicker than parrots, and it is a
•xpensive habit. Where a mother
example you will scarcely hear a pleasant
word among the children in their play
with each other. Yet thetliseiplme of such
i family is weak and irregular. The chil
dren expect just so much scolding before
chey do anything they are bidden while in
■iiany a home where the low firm voice ol
the mother, or a decided look of her eye is
aw, they never think of disobedience
■ither in or out of her sight.
O, mothers, it is worth a great deal to
•ultivate that excellent thing in woman, a
.ow sweet voice. If you are ever so much
-iredbythe mischievous or willful frank
>f the little ones, 6jteak low. It will be a
Treat help to you, even to try and be cheer
ii, if you cannot wholly succeed. Angei
uakes you wretched, and your children
dso. Impatient, angry tones never did
he heart good, but pleuty of evil. Read
what-Solomon says of them, andrcmembei
hat he wrote with an inspired pen. Yon
aunot have the excuse for them tliat thej
lighten your burdens any, for they make
hem ten times heavier. For your own,
;ts your children's sake, learn to speak low.
I'hey will remember that one tone when
'ou are under the willows. So, too would
hey remember a harsh and angry voice.—
Which legacy will you leave your cliildreii
How TO COOK A BEEFSTEAK. —ln travel
ing through our County, says the GAum
bian, we have found that our people can
tnake incomparable buck-wheat but
:hat three-fourths of them cannot cook s
oeefstcak, For the general good we pub
lish the following recipe :
"The frying-pan being wiped very dry
place it upon tho stove, and let it beconn
uot, very hot. In the meantime mangl
che steak—if it chance to be sirloin, si
.nuch the better—pepper and salt it, then
iay it on the hot, dry pan, which instantK
cover as tight as possible. When tho raw
ilesh touches the heated pan, of course i;
seethes and adheres to it, but in a few sec
onds it becomes loosened and juicy. Ever;,
naif minute turn the steak ; but be carei'u.
so keep it as much as possible under cover.
When nearly done lay a small piece of but
ter upon it, and if you want much gravj
add a tablespoouful of strong good coffee.
In three minutes from the time the steak
first goes into the pan it is ready for the
table. This method of cooking makes the
most delicious, delicately broiled steak, tub
of juice, yet retaining the healthy beefy
fiavor, than any Johnny Bull could require.
The same method may be applied to mut
ton chops, only they require a little long
er cooking to prevent them from being
rare. An excellent gravy may be made
lor them by adding a little cream, thicken
ed with a pinch of Hour, into which, when
off the lire and partly cooled, stir in the
yolk of an egg well beaten."
A LONG NAT. —One of our most respect
able citizens called into the establishment
of a joking druggist, last summer, and,
overcome by the sultry weather, sat down
in a chair, and was soon enjoying a 6ounu
slumber. Observing that the sleeper hau
on a tine new hat, the druggist gently re
moved it, substituting in its place an olu
one with a sadly* dilapidated and rusty
crown. The dro#!y citizen at last awoke,
and after a few "h-hunis," felt of the hat,
which was rather a tight lit. Removing it
from his head, and taking a steady gaze at
the battered reiie, he turned to the druggist
and inquired:
"Did I sleep a long time ? "
"Yes," replied the joker "a very long
time."
" Yell," continued the first, "I should
judge I had, for wliqn I came into your
store this dirty old hat was brand new."
Blind Tom's agent left Toledo with
out paying the Government tax ou his oon
oert, which would have cost $13,30, on his
receipts of st)6s. The Collector has since
been on the lookout for Tom, and went to
Chicago to collect the $13,30, with tho fine
of $l,OOO, permitted by law.
Why would lawyers make good sol
<&rs ? Etottnato tUrey know hefiv to chvtig*.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
NO. 27.
Pisf & ot|crfowi.
t&" Which is the longest rope in tho
world ? Eu-rope.
"Working for dear life" is defined
to be making clothes for a new baby.
Moving for a new trial—courting a
second wife.
"Professor of the accumulative art"
is the California term for thief.
Half "Count me out when you talk of
working," as the cork said to the ginger
pop. • -
4©"" A correspondent says that "the
greenest servant he ever saw was one en
tirely black."
IS?" Women ought not to be called ex
travagant, since they waist round less than
men.
A man's wealth and a woman's age
can never be known accurately till they
die.
When Apollo dipped Pan into the
sea what did he come out like ? A drip
ping pan.
A dead millionaire in a Western city
had inscribed on his tombstone, "he always
paid cash."
I®" An editor in Vermont, says he receiv
ed a present the other day, which was not a
piano, but it could "yell !"
JK3?*Why is a photograph album like
the drainer of a bar counter ? Because it
is the receptacle of empty mugs.
&9?" A country boy having heard of sail
ors heaving up anchors, wanted to know if
it was sea-sickness that made them do it.
Wr" Mr. Pewittsaysthata married couple
should l>e called three, instead of one ; be
cause the woman is won, and the man, too.
a man waits patiently while a wo
man is putting on her things to go "shop
ping," he will make a good husband.
An experienced old gentleman says
that all that is necessary for the enjoyment
>f love or sausage is CONFIDENCE.
man who was thrown through a
window, sash, glass, and all, remarked that
he never experienced such piercing panes
ixdore."
ft#** A popular speaker has got up a lec
ture on "Getting Ahead." A head is a
good thing to get—if there are any brains
n it.
ft#* A late philosopher says that if any
liing will make a woman swear, it is look
.ngfor her night-cap after the lamp is
>lown out.
*•?* A young man generally gives a lock
of hair to his sweetheart before he marries
ler. Alter marriage she sometimes helps
herself—and doesn't use scissors.
B®** "Our mothers, the only faithful
tenders who uever misplaced a switch," is
a toast said to have been offered at a rail
road banquet.
fist s*" 5 *" Mrs. Partington thinks the pillars
of liberty are stuffed with the feathers of
the American Eagle. The old lady is mis
taken. Cotton is used at present.
ftuP An Arkansas editor has l>een presen
ted with a new hat, whereupon he says:
"A grateful humor commenced caroling
through our veins, like a young dog with
an old shoe.®'
fittf A theoretically benevolent man on
being asked by a man to loan him a dollar,
answered, briskly '-with pleasure;" but
suddenly added, "Dear me, how unfortu
nate ! I've only one lending dollar, and
that is out."
An aged spinster, discanting upon
the annoyance .of children, the other day,
remarked, "I can't bear children." A
very motherly old huly, hearing the re
mark, replied. "If you could perhaps you
would love them bettor."
ted"* A young man who recently fell in
love with a very beautiful young lady, says
'•that when he ascertained last evening that
she reciprocated his passion, he felt as
though he was sitting on the roof of a meet
ing house and every shingle was a Jew's
harp."
Josh Billings has been experimen
ting with pills for the good of mankind,
and says : "Ef yu are looking for a pill az
mild az a pet lamb, and az searching az a
fine tooth comb, buy Dr. Kingbone's silent
perambulators, twenty-6even pills in a box,
sold by all respeotful druggers. These
pills don't phool round, but attend strictly
to bizrinees and are as gpdd in tfeto dead of
mtfht tk tea don