fSpmiM iemorrat. HARVEY SICKLER. Publisher. VOL. VIII. iUpmmg p morrat. <tfm<>crano weekly ;h<* Art.- fir. V '" ' 'it it Tunk ban nock f . . HALVE* SICKIER r. ! II- -1 copy 1 year, in advance) 92,00; if n .f fa i within fix months, *2.60 will be charged .NO j iijwr will he DISCONTINUED, until all are rar i;i.'-re paid; unless at tho option of publi KATES OF ADVERTISING TEN LINES COSSTITCTE A SQCABH. One square one or three insertions $1 50 Kvcrj sabsequ. ut insertion less than 8 50 Hkai ESTATE, PensonAL PBOPBRTT, and GBIIXBAL AHVERTISIHG, as may be agreed upon. PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisement^ OJ the Column : One column, 1 year, *>o lis If column, lyear-** 35 Third column, 4 J"e a *i -® Fourth oolumn, 1 year, * 20 Ituslness Cards of one square or less, per year *ilh paper, 58 IFT EDITOP i AL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with out Advertisement—ls ets. per line. Liberal terms made with permanent advertisers. EXECUTORS," ADMINISTRATOR and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, 32,50 ORTTU ARIES,-exceeding fen lines, each; RELI OloUSand LITERARY NOTICES, not of general nterest, one half tne regular rates. VfT\ •ivertisements must be handed in by Tree- I *v NOON, to insure insertion the same week. JOB WORK fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit •he times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB, WORK u:ust be paid for, when ordered Business Notices. I IT 11,1. .v MI Tellll, ATTORNEYS. Office II ,ti IV Trrn Stistt Tuilkhnutiock . W. E. LITTLE. J. A. SITTSEK. i Ij N. ONH*EI. PnTSICIAN A SURGE IN ! tL. Xcwion Centre. Luzerne County i'a. i i I , I'AKkISH. ATTOKNET AT LAW I ' •iHi *at th Court House, in Tuiikhutiock | W T :i inr Co. Pa. V\ '-< . iV.I I'. Al'lOl< XKI A1 LAU of i it lice in S'ark-'e Briik Block Tioga St.. Tunk- j IMM-k.!'.. .. | T J ( lIASL, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL-J 1 l.t:K Al LAW, Nicholso.t, Wyoming Civ, Pa j t-,e iO titled ion given to settlement ot de'-e- j : lit'.- i -i.iiAs i. h ILS HI. Pi. Dec 5 l-,;7 —v7nl9_vl MJTWII.tMITI, Al io NFY AT LAW, Col . Ici'fiug an I lic.il Estate Agent. lowa l ands r MIC. Scran'on, Pa. LStf. ( STEKHOrTA HEWITT. Atto'ncye' at LIW ' ' i 2, e opp. site the lJ.ink. Tunkbaano -k. Pa. P M. o?TEklIOl'T. G. li. HEWITT | W. Nllllilh, PHYSICIAN .1 SURGEON. J. mil attend jprom tly to all calls in his pro ;toiiiti. May be lound nt his Office at the Drug v. re or at bis residence on Putin an Srcet, formerly . upitd by A. K. Pei'kham Esq. SR. E. F. AVERY'Sa@k ' EXTAI. ; OFSICE. UJj -u J-:' er Burn s Bros.. Jewelry Store. Tunkhannock, Pa. til styles of Dental work scientifically t: • .in 1 warranted. Particular attention given to igli.i ninir li regular or deficient teeth. E\ i: iu'itlons made, and advice given without -u Etlier. al Snray administered when desired, r ! rm a.linini rtired under direction of a Physl- I idi nit iges ot employing a local and re -1 ■dentist arenpparent to all. vBn27t. Prof. J. Berlinghof. iasl)ionablt Barbrr & gair-tuttfr, AT TUNKIIANNOCK, PA. HAIR Woven, and Braided, for Switches,|or Curled, tad Waterfalls of every sixe and style, manufactur to order. The highest market prices paid for LadiW Hair, All the approved kinds of Hair Restorers and 1 teasing constantly kept on hand and sold at Man ufacturers retail prices. Hair and Whiskers colored to every natural iuade. JACOB BERLINGHOF. Totik , Pa. Jan. 5, '69.—vSn22-tf, PACIFIC HOTEL, ~ 1T0,172,174 & 176 Greenwich Street. *X DOOR roBTLASDT STRXET, NEW YORK.) The unpersigned takes pleasure in annonnclng to numerous friends and patrons that from this the charge of the Pacific will be $2.50 PER DAY. Heine -de Proprietor of this house, and therefore tee from the too common exaction of an Inordinate tat. he is fully aide to meet the downward tenden cy '■! prices without any falling off of service. It will nnw. as heretofore, be bis aim to maintain •' limbht-d the favo-able reputation of the Paeifio, •~lch it has enjoyed for many years, as one of the ' of travelers' notels. THE TABLE will be bountifully supplied with "try delicacy of the season. NiK ATTENDANCE will be found efficient and sad obliging. THE LOCATION will be found convenient for • ■ whose business calls tbem in the lower part of i t'y. and of ready access to all Hail Road and • eunboat Lines. JOHN PATTEN. | "etioth lstid. nlB 6m. HUFFORI) HOUSED; niLKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO.. PA THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY j Ben r fir:a lan I lumished in >h late" style, try mention will bo given to the comfort and • n- of those who pn rmnire the Rouse. !!. Ht'FFORD Proprietor. • ■ khatnoek. lit., June 17, —v7,.44 BOLTON HOUSE. H AiIKISIH Ifil, I'KNNA. Ti- und- rsigned having lately pur based the '■ i.lil.EU IB U SE " property, has"alreuly eom -i"*i e I .j-h alterations and improvements as will ' '"f 'hi- old and |sipul:ir House r jual, if not su|- ■ to ,rv Hotel in the City of Hirrisbtirg. •ntiiiuan eof the publi - patronage is retpeet - •> -on lied. DEO J. BOLTON WALL s HOTEL, LAVE AMERICAN HOUSE/ 11 G.LIK.VOTK, WYOMING CO., FA. I f t v •it ibliihiuent has recently been refitted an 1 tuni -bed in toe latest style Every attention ;ivdu to tb comfort and convenience ot rflns# " 6 lu'r i.iie ihe House. , T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor . 1 U "*nuuautfk,deptambar ||, IStfl. SO* S.| -a. juo. | * TUNKIIANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, FEB. 10, 1869. The new Broom stili new! ! AND WITH THE NE'.V YE \R, Will b used with more rtreeping eOsct than hereto fore,by large additions from time to time, of Choiee ann desirable GOODS, at tbo New Store OF C DETRICK, in S. Stark'a Bn:k Block AT TUNKHANNOCK, PEI'A. Where can be 'oond, at all times, one of the Largest and Richest assortments ever offored in this vicinity, Consisting of BLACK AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS SILKS, FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS, EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS, . POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS, BLACK LUSCE AND COLORED ALPACCAS WOOL, ARMURE PEKIN AND MOUSELIKE DELAINS, rNPORTED AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS, of Best Manufactures. —:o;——— Ladies Cloths and S&cqueings, FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN GOODS, ArC.. LADIES RETH 'ULES. SHOPPING BAGS and BASKETS. TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING BAGS, Hosiery and G'oves, Ladies' Vests, White Goods, nd Yamkee notions in endless va riety. HOOPSKIRTS k VORSETTS, direct from the manufacturers, at great y reduced price*. FLANNELS all Colors ind Qualities KNIT GOODS, Cloths, C'assimeres, Vesting*, Cot tOnsde, Sheet Shirting*, Drills. Denims, Ticks, Stripes. Arc. Every Description of BOOTS & SHOES, i HATS & CAPS. Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur tains, Curtain Fixtures, Carpets, Oil- Cloths, Crockery. Glass and Stoneware. Tinware, Made expressly for this trade, and war lanted to give Satisfaction, at 20 per cent, cheaper than the usual rates in this section. HARDWARE & CUTLERY, of al kinds, SILVER PLATED WARE, Paints, Oils, and Painters Materials, Putty, Window Glass, &c. KEROSENE 'OIL, Chandeliers, Lamps, Lanterns, Lantern Glares, Lamp Chimneys, ' Shades and Curuers. COAL, ASHTON, Sf BBL. SALT FLOUR. FEED, MEAL, BUTTER. CHEESE, , LARD. PORK. j HAMS, | | and FI?!L SUGAR, I TEA, COFFEE 6 PICES. * SYRUP. A MOLASSES, WOOD A WILLOW WARE, ROPO, T'ORDACP. I PATENT MEDICINES DRUGS, and DYES, FLAVORING EXTRACTS Ac., Ac, These goods have been selected with great fare to suit the wants of this community, and will be sold as heretofore, at the lowest living rates tor cash or exchanged for country produce at market prices. Thankful for the past liberal patronage, I shall endeavor by strict attention to my business, to merit a continuance ot the same, and will try to make the ftiture still more attractive and ben eficial to customers. a DETRICK. .{ mwM* A MODERN DRINKING SONG. FBI high t he bowl with Fwsil Oil! 1 With Tanntn let your enps be crowned 1 If Strychtflne gives relief to Toll, Let Strychnine's generous juice abound ! Let Oil of Vitrol cool your brains, Or, animated atoms brew — And fill your arteries, heart and veins, With glee—and Infusorial glue! Wine 1 That died out In 'sB— fool would have it back ? And how f The "cup that will inebriate And never cheer," they sell tts now. "The conscious water saw tts God And blushed." What or It! Dont you feel That water knows the Druggers rod. And blushes now—with Cochineal! Ah-h ! Fragrant fume of Kreosote ! Bewitching bow! of Prussian Blue t Who wonlil not soothe his parching throat With your mild offspring "Mountain Dew!" Stronger than aught that racked the frame And shook the mighty brain of Burns. Surely, ye'll set our heads aflame, Whene'er his festal day returns! , Bring on the Beer—Fresh Copperas foam I With Alum mixed, in powder fine, How could iny foolish fancy roam In search of whiter froth than thine? Thy Indian Berry's essence spread Through amber wavelets, sparkling clear, Benumbs dull Care—strikes Feeling dead— And narcotizes Shame and Fear ! Far down thy bubbling depths. Champagne! Drown'd Honor, Love and Beauty lie— They fought the unequal fight In vain— Shall we, too, merely drink—and die t Sweet Acetate of Lead, forbid ! Fill every drink with prangs—and tell What tortures could—and always did— Anticipate the stings of Hell! Then drink, boya, drink ! We never can Itrlnk younger! And we never will Be men—or aught resembling man. While poisoners have the power to kill! Amen ! From Frenry's sereeeh of mirth To maudlin Sorrow's drivelling flow. We'll ravo, through scenes unmatched on earth, j And not to be surpassed below! gs FIRMNESS. Well, let him go, and let him stay Ido not mean to die; I guess he'll find that 1 can live Without him if I trf : lie thought to frightful? with frowns. So terrible and MsHjL He'll stay away a ihMHfsnd years Before 1 ask him back. He said that I had actol wrong, And foolishly beside; I won't forget him after that— I wouldn't If 1 had died. 1 If I was wrong, what right had he I To be so cross with me ? I know I'm not an angel quito— I don't pretend to be. He had another sweetheart once, And now when we fall out, He always says she was not cross, And that she didn't pout. It Is enough to vex a saint— It's more than I can bear ; I wish that girl of his was— Well, I fion't care where.* He thinks that she was pretty, too, Was beautiful as good ; I wonder if she'd get hlin back j Again, now, If sho could T I know she would, and there she is— She lives almost in sight; And now It's after nine o'clock— Perhaps, he's there to-night. I'd almost write to him to come- But then I've said I won't; I do not care so much, but she Shan't have him if I don't Besides, I know that I was wrong, And he was in the right; I guess I'll tell him so—and then— I wish he'd come to-night. ACXT LIZZIE'S COURTSHIP. —Why, you see, when my man came a courtin' me, I hadn't the least thought of what he was after not I. Jobie came to our house one night, after dark, and rapped on the door. I open ed it, and sure enough their was Jobie. Come in, RCZ I; take a cheer. No, Lizzie, sez he. I,ve come of an arrant and 1 always do my arrauts fust. But you had better come in and take a cheer, Mr. W No, I can'h The fact is, Lizzie,l've coino on this 'ere courtin' bisness. My wife's been dead these three weeks, and every thing's Iteen going to rack and ruin right along. Now, Lizzie, of you're a mind to hev me, and take care of my house, and my children, an mv things, tell me, un I'll come in an take a cheer, if not, I'll get some, one else tu. j Why, I was skeer d. and sed— If you come on this courtin' business, | | come in, I must think on't a little. No, 1 can t till I know. That's my ar i rant. And 1 can't sit down till my arrant's t done. 1 should like to think on't a day or two I Now, you needn,t Lizzie. Well, Jobie, if I must, 1 must—so here's 1 tu ye then. . Ho Mr. W onne in. Then he went ! after tho .Squire an he married us right off aud I went home with Jobie that very night I tell you what it is, these long courtin's ' don't amount to nothing at aIL Just M well do it in a liui rv. i tatf The New York Errning Post has for many years had upon its subscription book the ii'Qiie of Para Bard-£auuletch Pltra i Phara-ineudr-Maha-Monkut. These few let ters constituted the name of the late King 1 of Siam. gfc 1 [ The report tHPUiere had been an j earthquake in New Jersey is said to have j been a "dboctoag" tie. " To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " : THE WARNING AT.THE BRIDGE. BY HERO STRONG. In the year 'fil I was Superintendent of the Horwich and Rocky River Railroad. It was a line which did a good run of business, connecting as it did a great city with a flourishing back country, and we ran a pretty good number of trains over the rails in the course of twenty-four hours. The daily trains were every hour, but af ter nine in the evening there was only one train until tho steamboat accomodation at lialf-past three in tho morning. This intervening train was the Belport mail. It was made up at Belport, and ran as far as Clinton, express all the way. Belport was the Lirge city of which I have spoken, and it was there that my of fice was located, for the business of the road was all settled aud arranged at that end of the line. Of course I give fictitious names, and the reader need uot expect to find Belport on any railway map. The 12:30 train, or the midnight mail as it was more frequently designated, WdS mjl by Earl Rogers, a young man of seven or eight and twenty, who had been employed on the road for several years. . He was the best engine driver on the cor poration, uid for that reason he had been selected for the. train, it Iteing deemed ex pedient to place mun'of the best judgement on tlio train, because there was a better look out required by night. Earl, taken in all, was one of the finest fellows I ever saw. Frank, handsome, gen erous to a fault, and very well educated. He had fallen into the vocation of an en gineer more from his love of excitement and danger than anything else perhaps ; and if there was ever any particularly per- ] iious bu 'iness to be done, Earl Rogers was j always our man. For some time he liad been desperately ni love with Laura Demain, t*he daughter , of a rich old fellow just on the other side of i Rocky River, a half-dozen miles beyond Belport. This love was fully returned, j for Laura was a noble-hearted girl, and did j not cure for wealth or ambition when , in the balance with love ; but old Domain and she were two, and there was no probability of his ever giving his eon sent. He liad set his heart on her marrying Prince Carleton, a young blood of the vi cinity, reputed wealthy, and of an old fam- Uy- Domain's opposition naturally made the more determined, and they only waited an increase of Earl's salary to be married in spite ot Papa Demain. Earl was a faithful fellow, aud I was doing my bent with the Company to get an advance for him with' every probability of success. Somehow I took a strong interest in Earl's love affairs, I am an old cooger, and love matters are rather out oft my line, my forte being the calculating of accounts, the regulation of freight rates, and the man agement of business so as to secure the lat est dividends to the stockholders. Perhaps my interest in Earl's love for Laura might be because I most cordially detected Prince Carleton. He was always "Mowing" our road, finding fault with the rate of spaed, with the grade, with the car riages, with the ventilation, with every thing in short, for notliing suited him. Then upon one occasion he and I had a few words neither very pleasant nor very choice, and he call me a "d—d old scoun drel," and I had returned the compliment with interest. After that wo wore worse friends than ever. One dark rainy night in November, just after the nine o'clock train had got off, and I was sitting in the office trying to balance an account vbut would not balance, the door opened aud Earl Rogers walked in. He had on his waterproof suit, the liood up over his head, and the collar buttoned closely, but I saw that his face was very pale and bis eyes gleamed with unnatural fire, ' 'What in the world has happened Rog ers V" said I. "You look as gram as if you were going to your own funeral" "Mr. Woodbury," said he, earnestly, "Do you believe in presentiments ?" "No," said I. "I certainly do not! They | are old women's whims !" "Perhaps so, I wish I could think so," j said he, sadly. "I have been trying Laid ' to," "What is "it. Earl V Anything gone j wrong with Laura ?" for I did not know but | I the little jade had been playing off with him I after the manner of women. "Me. You will laugh at me. Mr. Wood- j I bury, but I must tell somebody, or I shall ; get'ont of my wits," said he half laughing, 1 "and before Heaven I tell you it is all truth. Thursday afternoon, I took a hand ear tod went over to Rocky River Bridge. \ I do not mind confessing that I went on I purpose to get a glimpse of her home—per haps of herself. I stood at one end of the ! bridge—looking across at the house—en-*! raptured at sight of a scarlet shawl which I knew was hers flitting in and out through the frost-bitten shrubbery of the garden. i "And while I was looking at fcer, I heard footsteps, and glancing up, I saw myself mining from the opposite side of the Bridge I I I ww draoaJ in ftrt grit </f waterprddfr- | { my face was pale as death, and my wida< open eyes were blank and expressionless Sir, you think I am dazed, but I am telling only the truth ! While I stood staring at the vision it disappeared; and weak and trembling I came back to town. By the next day—yesterday, I hail reasoned my self ouf of lielief in anything of the kind. It was a hallucination, I said, and to prove it so, I would go out there again, and see if it would appear for the second time. I went again yesterday, and sir, the same thing was repeated ! It will come once more—and then I shall go to my death !" "Nonsense 1" said I, "Come, Earl, be hon est, and confess that you had been taking too much whiskey !" "I never drink anything, as you know, Mr. Woodbury," returned he, "and this thing was fearfully real. And of one re sult, I am satisfied. If I rtfn the ma 1 train out to-night, I shall be killed, anU Heaven knows what will be the fate of thi train ! I suppose it could be taken off foi to-night ?" "Taken off ! What in the duco do you mean ?" snapped I—"this road runs trains as advertised ! Cowardly engineers to the contrary, notwithstanding." He looked at me sagely, reproachfully— and I could have kicked myself for the wax I had spoken to him. "It was not on my own account, sir,' said he—"but it is only a few days befor- Thanksgiving, and the train will be a fuL one. If there is an accident it may be a bail one." "Accident !" said I contemptuously— "Fiddlestick ! Come in to-morrow, ano let me laugh at you." He bid me good night gravely, and wen! out. Presently the clock struck twelve and I | heard the three sharp, successive whistle I that told me the train was nearly ready 1 A strange feeling of apprehension seized ! me. What if anytliiug should happen - Yielding to an impulse which would not be i controlled. I threw on my overcoat, turn -1 ed ont the gas, locked the office and hur riefi over to the depot just in season t< i catch the rail of the rear and swing my j self on board. Earl Rogers stood at his post, pale and silent, yet alert and watchful. By the head light in the locomotive he could see tin track for a half mile ahead, and his keen eyes scanned every inch of the way as tin train swept ou. Past Romiane station past the Mill Cut, past Hill's Embankment and they plunged into the belt of wood.- which skirted Rocky River. Suddenly as they swept around a curve— Earl's cheek whitened and he drew his breath in quick and hard ! What he saw just befot-e the train warned him that onfy death and destruction lay ahead. He could, probably, save himself by leaping off, but that would doom all on board Not a second did he hesitate. The sharp whistle to down brakes sounded—he re versed steam and did Everything in hispow er to stop the train. When he saw that hi: eflurts were in vain, that the obstacle which lay across the track only a few rods in ad vaxice*could not be avoided, he sprang ove: the wood-box and unhooked from the car riages. The engine, released from the drag, shot ahead, and the next iustan l ' plunged forward into the gulf ? There was a crash—a succession of shrill whistles from the escaping steam, and all was still ! Not one of the cars wont down —the firsl one halted on the very brink of the abyss as if the more fearfully to impress upon the minds of the passengers the terrible danger they had escaped. Before the train eamo to a stop I had jumped out, and was flying forward looking for Eearl Rogers. They pointed into the river in answer to my inquiries, and seizing a lantern from the hands of one of the brakesmen, I climbed down the bank and found him. He lay under the wreck of the locomo tive—pale and bloody, with no breath comiug from his icy lips. The two strokers were a little way off— stone dead. I am an old man, but I did not feel the weight of that poor fellow as I carried him up the bank, and on to the house of De main—which happened to be the nearest residence. Of course, old Demain could not refuse him admittance under the circumstances, and iu five minutes Laura was with metry i iiig to restore the lifeless man to conscious ; uess. She was all courage and hope ; but for her we should have given him up for ; dead, and I to this day firmly lteheve that : her presence and her care, brought him I back from death. I She never flinched while the surgeon amputated his leg at the knee—it was the only way to save him, Dr. Green said, and Laura he'd the poor head of the patient to j her bosom anil his hands in hers through | the whole operation. The accident, it was found, hail been oc casioned by a stick of timber pinned across the track, and the railroad company offered *! a reward of a thousand dollars for the dis covery of the rascally perpetrator. No matter how we found it out, but, it was ascertained, beyond a doubt that Prince Coi leton was the guilty party. He confess ed it when we had him snug and safe—and said that because he wanted Earl Rogers louttf OfeYftp U tag*! (ft whole concern, (meaning the road corpera. tion,) he had this plan of diabolical revenge. His father was a millionaire, and bought up onr silence handsomely.—Prince went to California, and I do not know what be came of him. Old Domain proved himself a trump af ter ail, and gave in gracefully. He is dead now, and Earl and Laura live at the old place, as lyippy a couple as ever I saw. As for Earl's warning, you may believe what you like ahont it. I have no expla nation to offer. SPEAK LOW. —I know some houses well budt and handsomely furnished, where it fS aot pleasant to be even a visitor. Shai p, •.ugry tones resound through theni from morning till night, fcnd is as contagious as • he measles, and much more to be dreaded ,u a household. The children catch it and it lasts for life. A friend had such a neigh •>or within hearing of her house, and even Poll Parrot has caught the tone, and de- Lights in screaming and scolding, until she oad been sent into the country to improve uer habits. Children catch cross tones quicker than parrots, and it is a •xpensive habit. Where a mother example you will scarcely hear a pleasant word among the children in their play with each other. Yet thetliseiplme of such i family is weak and irregular. The chil dren expect just so much scolding before chey do anything they are bidden while in ■iiany a home where the low firm voice ol the mother, or a decided look of her eye is aw, they never think of disobedience ■ither in or out of her sight. O, mothers, it is worth a great deal to •ultivate that excellent thing in woman, a .ow sweet voice. If you are ever so much -iredbythe mischievous or willful frank >f the little ones, 6jteak low. It will be a Treat help to you, even to try and be cheer ii, if you cannot wholly succeed. Angei uakes you wretched, and your children dso. Impatient, angry tones never did he heart good, but pleuty of evil. Read what-Solomon says of them, andrcmembei hat he wrote with an inspired pen. Yon aunot have the excuse for them tliat thej lighten your burdens any, for they make hem ten times heavier. For your own, ;ts your children's sake, learn to speak low. I'hey will remember that one tone when 'ou are under the willows. So, too would hey remember a harsh and angry voice.— Which legacy will you leave your cliildreii How TO COOK A BEEFSTEAK. —ln travel ing through our County, says the GAum bian, we have found that our people can tnake incomparable buck-wheat but :hat three-fourths of them cannot cook s oeefstcak, For the general good we pub lish the following recipe : "The frying-pan being wiped very dry place it upon tho stove, and let it beconn uot, very hot. In the meantime mangl che steak—if it chance to be sirloin, si .nuch the better—pepper and salt it, then iay it on the hot, dry pan, which instantK cover as tight as possible. When tho raw ilesh touches the heated pan, of course i; seethes and adheres to it, but in a few sec onds it becomes loosened and juicy. Ever;, naif minute turn the steak ; but be carei'u. so keep it as much as possible under cover. When nearly done lay a small piece of but ter upon it, and if you want much gravj add a tablespoouful of strong good coffee. In three minutes from the time the steak first goes into the pan it is ready for the table. This method of cooking makes the most delicious, delicately broiled steak, tub of juice, yet retaining the healthy beefy fiavor, than any Johnny Bull could require. The same method may be applied to mut ton chops, only they require a little long er cooking to prevent them from being rare. An excellent gravy may be made lor them by adding a little cream, thicken ed with a pinch of Hour, into which, when off the lire and partly cooled, stir in the yolk of an egg well beaten." A LONG NAT. —One of our most respect able citizens called into the establishment of a joking druggist, last summer, and, overcome by the sultry weather, sat down in a chair, and was soon enjoying a 6ounu slumber. Observing that the sleeper hau on a tine new hat, the druggist gently re moved it, substituting in its place an olu one with a sadly* dilapidated and rusty crown. The dro#!y citizen at last awoke, and after a few "h-hunis," felt of the hat, which was rather a tight lit. Removing it from his head, and taking a steady gaze at the battered reiie, he turned to the druggist and inquired: "Did I sleep a long time ? " "Yes," replied the joker "a very long time." " Yell," continued the first, "I should judge I had, for wliqn I came into your store this dirty old hat was brand new." Blind Tom's agent left Toledo with out paying the Government tax ou his oon oert, which would have cost $13,30, on his receipts of st)6s. The Collector has since been on the lookout for Tom, and went to Chicago to collect the $13,30, with tho fine of $l,OOO, permitted by law. Why would lawyers make good sol <&rs ? Etottnato tUrey know hefiv to chvtig*. TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance. NO. 27. Pisf & ot|crfowi. t&" Which is the longest rope in tho world ? Eu-rope. "Working for dear life" is defined to be making clothes for a new baby. Moving for a new trial—courting a second wife. "Professor of the accumulative art" is the California term for thief. Half "Count me out when you talk of working," as the cork said to the ginger pop. • - 4©"" A correspondent says that "the greenest servant he ever saw was one en tirely black." IS?" Women ought not to be called ex travagant, since they waist round less than men. A man's wealth and a woman's age can never be known accurately till they die. When Apollo dipped Pan into the sea what did he come out like ? A drip ping pan. A dead millionaire in a Western city had inscribed on his tombstone, "he always paid cash." I®" An editor in Vermont, says he receiv ed a present the other day, which was not a piano, but it could "yell !" JK3?*Why is a photograph album like the drainer of a bar counter ? Because it is the receptacle of empty mugs. &9?" A country boy having heard of sail ors heaving up anchors, wanted to know if it was sea-sickness that made them do it. Wr" Mr. Pewittsaysthata married couple should l>e called three, instead of one ; be cause the woman is won, and the man, too. a man waits patiently while a wo man is putting on her things to go "shop ping," he will make a good husband. An experienced old gentleman says that all that is necessary for the enjoyment >f love or sausage is CONFIDENCE. man who was thrown through a window, sash, glass, and all, remarked that he never experienced such piercing panes ixdore." ft#** A popular speaker has got up a lec ture on "Getting Ahead." A head is a good thing to get—if there are any brains n it. ft#* A late philosopher says that if any liing will make a woman swear, it is look .ngfor her night-cap after the lamp is >lown out. *•?* A young man generally gives a lock of hair to his sweetheart before he marries ler. Alter marriage she sometimes helps herself—and doesn't use scissors. B®** "Our mothers, the only faithful tenders who uever misplaced a switch," is a toast said to have been offered at a rail road banquet. fist s*" 5 *" Mrs. Partington thinks the pillars of liberty are stuffed with the feathers of the American Eagle. The old lady is mis taken. Cotton is used at present. ftuP An Arkansas editor has l>een presen ted with a new hat, whereupon he says: "A grateful humor commenced caroling through our veins, like a young dog with an old shoe.®' fittf A theoretically benevolent man on being asked by a man to loan him a dollar, answered, briskly '-with pleasure;" but suddenly added, "Dear me, how unfortu nate ! I've only one lending dollar, and that is out." An aged spinster, discanting upon the annoyance .of children, the other day, remarked, "I can't bear children." A very motherly old huly, hearing the re mark, replied. "If you could perhaps you would love them bettor." ted"* A young man who recently fell in love with a very beautiful young lady, says '•that when he ascertained last evening that she reciprocated his passion, he felt as though he was sitting on the roof of a meet ing house and every shingle was a Jew's harp." Josh Billings has been experimen ting with pills for the good of mankind, and says : "Ef yu are looking for a pill az mild az a pet lamb, and az searching az a fine tooth comb, buy Dr. Kingbone's silent perambulators, twenty-6even pills in a box, sold by all respeotful druggers. These pills don't phool round, but attend strictly to bizrinees and are as gpdd in tfeto dead of mtfht tk tea don
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers