HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher.
\ OL. VIII.
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HARVEY SICKIER T
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Business Notices,
| lit 1.1. >i ■ Ifif .It. ATTORNEYS. Office
is on \V:wren Street Tunkhannock !'.
W. E. LITTLE. J. A. SITTSEK.
K*. COOI'ER, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
• N'cwton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.
OI„ PABBIBH. ATTORNEY AT LAW
• Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanoek
Wyoming Co. Pa
i 1. >l. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of- !
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunic
ni not k. Pa
P J llHNfc, ATTORN£VANDCO UNSEL-
J. a LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co - , Pa
fee ial uttemiou given to settlement of dece
dent's estates
Nijh j'soa. Pa. Das. 5, log"—v7nl9yl
1 T ,J. W 11.SON, AT TO • NFY AT LAW. Col
\1 . testing an I Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands
for sale. Scran ton, Pa. -Utf.
i
t STERHOI T & DEW ITT. Attorney.-' at Law- )
v ' • tiff e. opposite Hie Conk, Tunkhannock, Pa. j
1' M. o.s'iE allot T. (}. C. DEW ITT J
r tV. lIIIOADI, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON,
J • will attend prom, tly to all calls it. his pro
fusion. May he (ouad at his Office at the Drug
More, or at his residence on Putnam Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Pc.kham Esq.
. DENTISTRY.
/ • h itim.L'k Borough
r" ® -it * 3 '' ,! -
i wf-'Wr !.-n.|<*r bis J.rotcs
\ , •" sional services to
Off.ee on second floor of NKW JEWKLRV STOBE, on
TIOOA St. vU-nlt-etn.
PACIFIC HOTEL,*
170,172, 174 A 170 Greenwich Street
ONE DOOR A!M)VE CORTLANDT STItEET, NKW YORK.)
The unpersigned takes pleasure in annonncing to
Lis numerous friends and patrons that from this
■late, the charge of the Pacilic will lie
$2 50 PER DAY.
B-ing ite Proprietor of this house, and therefore
ft sfr on the ton common exaction of an inordinate
tent, he Is Itilly able to meet the downward tenden
cy ol prices without any falling off of service.
It will now, as heretotbie, be bis aim to maintain
tin litiiished the favorable reputation of the Pacific,
which it ha* enjoved for many years, as one of the
"f travelers' hotels.
THE TABLE will be bountifully with
everv delicacy of the season
THK ATTENDANCE will be fouml efficient and
nd oMiginr.
THK I.i it ATJON will be lonnd convenient fqr
- - whose business calls thnn In Hie lower pert of
t'c city, and of ready aceses to all Rail Road and
S:- t:uLat Lines.
JOHN PATTEN.
Oct l'rth IS6B. nIS-6m.
HUFFORD HOUSE.
XUNKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., PA
TIIIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY I
I been refitted and turnished in the latest style, j
f-rery attention will be given to the comfort end j
lenience of those who patronize tbe House.
11, HUFFORD Proprietor, j
furkli .nnock, Pa., June 17, 1363 v7n44 ■
BOLTON HOUSE.
lIAItmSHIMUi, I'LNNA.
The undersigned having lately pur. based the
lII'EHLER HOUSE " property, has already eom-
J>en.-ed mil alterations and improvements as will
rt'i ler thi- old and popular House equal, if not supe
' '. to any Hotel in the City of H irrisburg.
Vc' Dtinuance of the public patronage is refpect
"lly edicited.
GEO. J, BOLTON- I
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATZ AMERICAN HOUSE, I
T U\fcII.\NNOCK, WYOMING CO., IA.
F'BS est liilishment has recently bt|ji refitted an j
t'urni-'netl in tbe l itest style Everv attention <
''i yivea t j the comfort and oonvenieuce ol those
*4o patronize tbe House
T. B W ALL. Owner and Proprietor.. ]
'uokhannork, September 11. 18GI .
MEANS' HOTEL.
TO WA TV 33 /V. I* A
"• B. BARTLET,
late t, "cuAiuAHD Holtar, ELMIBA, N Y
PKOPHIETOR.
The .MEANS HOTEL, i one of tne LARGEST
jV AKUA\KD ii* uses in the country—lt
e.l lu the muni ~ and improved style*
*• Eu piin. are ep .red to make it a pleasanani
• 'topping ptace for all
h2l-ly. )
The new Broom still
new!
AND WITH THE NEW YEAR,
Will he u.6d with more sweeping effect than hereto
fore,by large additions from time tx> time, of Choice
aon desirable GOODS, at the
New Store
OF
C DETRICK,
in S. Stark's Bri.-k Block
AT TUNKHAKNOCK, PEII
Where can be 'ound, at h!1 times, one of the Largest
and Richest assortments ever offered in this vicinity,
Consisting of
BLACK AND FANCYCOL'RD DRESS
SILKS,
FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS,
EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS,
POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS,
BLACK LI'S 11E AND COLORED
ALPACCAS WOOL. ARMI'RE I'EKIN
AND MOISELIEU DELAINS, INPORTED
AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS
of Best Manufactures,
Ladies Cloths and Saequeings,
FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN
GOODS, &a. LADIES RETICULES,
SHOPPING BAGS and BASKKIS.
TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING
BAGS,
Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, aud Yamkee notions
in endless va
riety.
HOOP SKIRTS A VOR6ETTS,
direct from the manufacturers, at greatly
reduced prices.
FLANNELS all Colors a nil Qualities.
KNIT GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassimeres,
Ve'stings.
Cotfouadcs,
Sheetings,
Shirtings,
Drills,
Denims,
Ticks, Strip, s, .Vc.
Every Description of
BO' >TS A SH( >ES, |
HATS & CATS.
Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur
tains, Curtain Fixtures, Caiqx ts. Oil-
C'lotlis, Croekery, Glass and Stonewaie.
Tinware,
Ma le expressh for this trade, and war- I
ia. ted to giv<- Satisfaction, at 20 per cent, j
cheaper than the usual rates in this section. |
HARDWARE CUTLERY, of all |
kinds,
SILVER PLATED WARE,
Puints, Oils, and Painters Materials,
Putty, Window Glass, Ac.
KEROSENE 'OIL,
Chandeliers,
Lamps,
*' Lanterns,
Lantern Glares,
Lamp Chimneys,
Shades and
Canters.
COAL.
AS 111 ON, A BBL. SALT
FLOUR,
FEED,
MEAL,
BUTTER,
CHEESE,
LARD,
PORK.
HAMS,
and FISH.
SUGAR,
TEA,
COFFEE
SPICES.
SYRUP, A
MOLASSES,
WOOD & WILLOW WARE,
KOPC*. CORDAGE,
PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYE 3,
FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac,
These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants ot
this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for conn try
produce at market prices. Thankful
For the past liberal patronage, I shall
endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance of
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
eficial to customers.
C. DETRICK. l
TUNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27. 1800.
'[ gottrtj.
[ Written for tbo Wyoming Democrat.]
THE GRECIAN BEND.
'* BY J. W. SCOrTEX.
0
In aneient times tbe poople say,
That ladies did not dress so gay;
k For then they learned to wash and mend,
| And did not have much time to bend.
But in these times It is not so,
For they not having much to do ;
And if they had, they would pretend
To be qulto stiff with the Grecian Bend.
In modern times they do not wish,
To even sew or wash a dish ;
Most or their time they useless spend,
In making the thing, called Grecian Bend.
When hoops came round the fashions were,
To be well hooped ere they did stir ;
Since that time tbeyWo worn the ball,
; That bears the name oi waterfall.
They've pass'dthro' all the Falls and Crooks,
And greatly changed their forms and looks;
Hut Done io much to be condemned,
As the unslghlty thing called Grecian Bend.
Don't say too much when you are near
!The haughty ones who dress so queer,
For fear that you might offend.
By speaking of their Grecian Bend.
The Grecian Bend, Oh what a crook !
That women wear and how they look I
Very like a ped'ler with his pack
That's strapped upon his crooked back.
tVhcn you see their puffed up clothes.
Or see them walking on their toes,
Then you'll begin to comprehend,
They've got a touch of the Grecian Bend.
Dear ladies, surely let me say,
That if you follow fashion's way ;
You'll soon begin to apprehend,
There's nothing nice in a Orecian Bend.
ETHAN ALLEN AND HIS DAUGHTER.
[ "Slic was a lovely, pious, young woman
whose mother, then long in the spirit-laud,
had instructed her in the truths of the Bi
ble. When she was about to die, she call
ed her father t< > her bedside, and taming
upon him her pale face, lighted by lustrous
blue eyes, she said, with a sweet voice;
■'Dear father, I am about to cross the cold,
dark river, Shall 1 trust to your opinions,
or to the teachings of dear mother ?" These
words, like a keen arrow, pierced the recess
es ol' his most truthful emotions. "Trust
to your mother I" said the champion of in
fidelity ; and, covering his face with Ins
| hands, lie wvpt like a child."— Htrpir's
1 Muiilltiii for A o rrcihtr. ]
"Thud imp* of death arc coming fast,
My father, o'er ray brow,
J The past with all Its cncs has fled,
And I must torn me now
To that dim future that in vein
My feeble eyes descry:
Tell me, my father, in this hour
In whose stern faith to die?
"In thine? I've watch'd thy scornfuAmllc,
And heard tliy withering tone,
Whene'er the Christian s humble hope
Was placed above thine owu,
I've heard tliee speak of coming death
Without a shade of gloom.
And laugh at all the childish fears
That cluster round the tomb.
I "
j "Or is It in my mother's faith !
How fondly do 1 trace
j Through many a weary year long past m
That calm ami saintly face!
| How often do I call to mind.
Now she is 'ueath the sod.
The place—the hour—in which she drew
My early thoughts to God !
" 'Twas then she took this sacred book,
And from its burning page
Read how its truths support the soul
In youth and failing age;
And bade me in its precepts live,
And by its precepts die,
That 1 might share a home of love
Iu worlds beyond the sky.
"My father, shall I look above,
Amid this gathering gloom
To Him whose promises of love
Extend beyond the tomb?
Or curse the Being who hath bless'd
This checkered path of mine;
t Must I embrace my mother's faith.
•Vr die, my sire, in thine?
The frown upon that warrior-brow
Passed like a cloud nwav,
And tears coursed down the rugged check,
That flowetknot till that day,
•Not —not mine"'—with choking voice
The skeptic made reply,
j But in my mother's holy faith,
My daughter, may'st thou diet"
C. C. Cox.
UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN.
An Eastern proverb, which declares that
there are no ungrateful children, is nearer
the truth than it appears. It is but another
version of the Bible maxim ; "Train up the
i child in the way he should go, and when he
is old he will never depart from it." The
parent who does really train up a child in
the way it should go, is the parent who
truly deserves the gratitude of his child and ■
he is the only parent who can hope to re
ceive in full measure. How many parents
there are, who, after indulging their chil
dren's desire, are sincerely astonished to
see them making no return of love and
gratitude. Gratitude! For what should
they be grateful ? For an impaired diges
tion ? For a mind empty ? For hands
unskilled ? For a childhood wasted ? For
the chance of forming a noble character
lost ? These are poor claims upon the
gratitude of a child. Bring up your child
so that, at mature age, he has a sound con
stitution, h uthy desires and an honest
heart, a well formed mind, good manners,
and a use ul calling, and you may rely up
on his m ikiuj such a rich return of grate
ful affei •tion, as shall a thousand times re- j
pay you for the toil aud self-denial which
1 such b training cost. |
*' To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
THE HEROINE OE THE SIERRA
MORENA.
The superiority which man assumes over
woman on account o. iiis strength, talents
md courage, is very equivocal indeed. In
ill ages we read, of instances where female
courage or presence of mind lias not only
appeared predominant over that of the
other sex, but has been the means of sav
ing and securing life and liberty, when man
tins shrunk from the daring task. Women
were once the law-givers of Israel, and Zen
>oia, the Palmyrene, set at defiance all the
hosts of Rome. Iu later days we have had
brillant examples of female heroism. Joan
of Are, whose spirit, tinctured with super
stition and roused to enthusiasm, drove
the English fr> m France and crowned a fu
gitive king iu Klieiius, can never be forgot
ten ; nor will all the laurels a Talbot won
vt r redeem his character from the staiu of
putting her to death as a witch, who put
them to defeat, as a woman endowed with
a mauly spirit.
In later limes wc have had the "Maid of
•Saragossa," who stood at the cannon's
urouth and led the citizens on to victory,
when even hope had fled from the hearts of
men; and reposing in a female bosom,
•hanged the tide of battle, and poured a
leluge off the foe, that in three mouths
drove him from the whole of Spain, south
of tire Pyrenees.
We know none more striking, though
loss noticed, than that of the young, the
beautiful, the unfortunate Lady June Grey,
who, on the morning of the execution, put
ting her hand to her neck, said, "They tell
me the executioner is very expert, and 1
have but a little neck, so my trouble will
soon be over." But presence of mind and
fortitude of virtue were nevermore strik
ingly displayed than in the following in
stance, which occurred where the fsierni
Morena rears its head above dark rolling
clouds ; and where also nature, iu licr rud
est form, displays to the weary traveler a
wide and dreary prospect of barren wilds,
di p irti i rocks, falling torrents, gloomy
forests of pines, opening claams. and all
the dark variety that makes natiuv terrible,
without a single gleam of sunshine to scat
ter, as it were, the hope of heaven over the
gulf of despair On tills spot, far above the
haunts oi' civilized men, where iiio wild
winds whistle and the tempests roar, stands
the chateau of (' runt dc Rondevillc, where
the narrow path leads the traveler round
the mountain's summit, and where the
long-practiced mule carries jts burthen in
security, though the deviation of an inch
would precipitate beast and rider over ti
precipice three hundred feet high. Ou this
sjKtf, perch"d like an eagle's in . '., i-> thy
seat of hospitality to be found.
The Count, who is lord of the valley bo
low, choose hero- to fix liff abode, lie
fon 1 of field sports and mountain scenery ;
to bring down the hawk and falcon, to
wind the thicket after the wolf and the fox,
and to spring from rock to rock with
giant bound and the fleet chamois, consti
tuted lib amusement of the day. At even
ing's close, to open his door to the way"
worn traveler, to rouso the fire on the
hearth and spread the table with plenty,
were his predominant delight s. .thousands
have tasted Lis liberality, and whenever he
visited the smiling fields below, the lisping
of childred and the benedictions of the aged
proclaimed his presence.
He had passed las lift' without ostenta
tion, and liad not a male servant iu his ret
inue. One young girl, a native of Estre
raadura, aged nineteen, was selected to at
tend upon his own person, and he treated
her "as his own child. One evening lie had
been out late, and ou lib return lie threw
himself upon u couch and sank into repose.
Dorothea, aware that he would not re
quire her assistance any more, retired to
rest, aud so did all the servants. About
one in the morning a party of banditti, at
the head of whom was Randolph VaseaJi,
so long the terror of Spain, thundered at
the gates of the chateau, and soon burst
them open. They tore the menials from
their beds, and with horrid imprecations
made them disclose where thoir little treas
ures were deposited, and some they put to
instant death. The noise awakened the
Count, who rushed unarmed into the liall.
Rudolph Vaseali seized him by the throat,
and was on the point of stabbing him,
when Dorothea, the little maid of Estre
madurn, entered, bearing a csunlle. The
robber started at seeing her, refrained from
his blow, and loosened his grasp. The fine
form of Dorotheo, robbed in niglit attire,
appeared as a beautiful vision, or a spectre
from another and a better world. The
work of death was going on at the extremi
ty of the hall, and over the marble floor
Streams of blood flowed in torrents.
"Stop," she cried, "the work of death,
and follow me. / You want money, and I
will conduct you where it is to be had."
"What pledge have T for the truth ?"
said Randolph Yiiscali, leaving his hold of
the Count.
"The pledge of blood — the tic of nature
I am thy only sister."
It was so. Randolph, with commanding
voice, ord'Ted his band to desist from mur
der and to retire, while he compelled the
Count to sit down under a pledge not to
rise till he bade him.
"Recollect," said ho, "my sister, for
such thou-urt, (however earnest thou here,)
I know no ties hut those that connect me
with mv followers. I have checked the
stream of death only to open the mine of
gold."
"Follow nie," said Dorothea, "and you
shall have wealth beyond your hopes and
wishes."
Slowly they winded up the gothic stair
case ; tire moon shone sickly through the
arched and ivy covered windows ; no sound
was hoard save that of the whispering wind
of the night that appeared to mourn for
those whose lives had recently passed away."
They reached the summit of the eastern
tower.
"I hear," said Randolph, "the murmur
ing of my band, who are awaiting my arri
val with the booty."
"They shall not long wait thy arrival,"
; said Dorothea, and at that moment they
! were at the edge of the turret. She dashed
i her lif lit to the earth, and seizing Randolph
j by the shirt of his ctilabra or tunic, hurled
him from the battlements. He fell amidst
lii.s followers, and expired on the spot,
Amazement seized them all. Dorothea has
tily rang tne alarm bell that communicated
with the convent below, and fired off the
! signal gun. The band fled in all directions,
imagining a force was concealed in the
j chateau: and Dorothea, rushing down,
i raised the Count in lier arms, with whom
j she ever after lived a loved and loving wife.
! Randolph was indeed her brother, but had
i long been a detestable murderer. She
j therefore abhorred his deeds, and ou this
j perilous occasion she sacrificed him ou the
i shrine of duty. " .
This chateau still stands ; the Count and
C'.mutess still exist and distribute their hos
pitality more generously than before ; and
the traveler, as lie passes over the dreary
height s of the "Sierra Moreua," shudder
ing, murmurs the name of Rudolph Yasrali.
and blesses that of Dorothea dc Rondevillc.
ONE KISS, MARIA.
Tlse follow i.jg is.contributed hv the "Fat
Contributor" of the "Cincinnati 'limes:
"There we* a ftinny little episode on the
ear that help, dto arou-e us. At Montana
a young man and a voting woman came on
b lard of the sleeping car, and the former
aid: "See here. Mr. Conductor, I want
one of y.-ur best bunks for this young wo
ve.m undone for myself iudividuly. One
will do for us when we git to Bluffs, hey,
M . ier ? a playful aud affectionate poke at
Mai i< r, with his elbow, to wliieh she replies,
"now, John be quit !" for you see we're
arc goiu' to git married at Marier's uncle's
vvle ti v..- git there. We might'a been
married at Moutauuy, but we took a
habit to wait till we got to the Bluffs,"
bein' as Marier's uncle is a minister, and
they charge a gol'fired price for hitehin'
folk tat Montanny." was assigned
to one of the "best bunks," and John was
given one not far away. After a time the
inmates of the car were all stowed away in
their berths to go through the inevitable al- ]
fernaiis of sweater:ng and freezing.
"During the stoppage of the train at one
station the voice of Jolui was lteard, raised
in pleading accents, all unconscious that
the train had stopped, and that tones
which the noise of the rattling wheels had
drowned while the cars were moving,
could be distinctly heard by all when they
had stopped.
"Now, Maria, you might give a feller jes'
one kiss."
'"John, you quit, or I'll git right out
here aud hoof it back to Montanny in the
snow storm."
' Only one little kiss, Maria, and I'll go ;
hope to die'f I don't."
"John j
"Just at that interesting moment a gray
head protruded from a berth at the other
end of the car, and old man cried out so
that all could hear : "Maria, for God's sake
give John one kiss, so that we ean go to
sleep some time to-night."
"It is needless to remark -Ait a peal of
laughter rang from one end of the ear to
the other, under cover of which John slunk
back to the solitary seclusion of his 'bunk
leaving Maria to the undisturbed posses- j
sions of her marriage license, which she in- !
terprcted to permit no license to John until
accompanied by the proper certificate.
And "Mariar was right."
U -.;? "Tltc following conversation is report
ed as having taken place iu the barber
shop attached to one of our principal ho
tels, the other (by :
Fi" t man and brother (reading a news
paper)—-I see dis Mr. Rosschilds, w hat jes'
died, was worth fo' hundred million dollars.
Second man and brother (scraping a ra-!
zor) —ho ?
First m. and b.—Mr. Rosschilds.
Second do. How much was he worf,
did you sry ? j
First—Fo' hundred million dollars.
Second—Goshamighty ! lie IUUS' had a j
good distriek. j
First—Good distriek ! What do you j
mean ?
Second—l mean a good district; dat's (
what I mean. I'sposc he was a whiskey
inspector, else how could he make so much j
money ? - j
' (Exeunt Reporter.) I
A GOOD STOBY. —A well-known new--pa
per correspondent in an adjoining town
furnishes us with the following story. It
is a genuine one, and will be recognized by
many who are familiar with the facts.—
There was a certain man. whom we shall
call .Smith, because that wasn't his name,
and he courted a girl or rather wanted to,
whose name we will call Brown. Now
Smith wasn't so smart in things matrimo
nial as he might have been, and a follow
named Jones "sailed in" and cut him out.
Jones married the girl and in due course of
time Mrs. J. presented her husband with a
■ nice little daughter. About fifteen years
afterwards, Smith was strolling around in
the neighborhood where his former sweet
heart used to perambulate. Meeting Jones'
daughter returning from school, Smith
thought ho could detect in her countenance
the well-known and fondly remeinborod
features of her mother. Wishing to en
gage in conversation, he confronted the
damsel, when the following dialogue took
place ;
Smith—(who lisped a little.) "Ain't
your name Jonesth V "
Miss Jones —"Yes sir."
Smith—"Ain't you Mister Tham Jon
esth daughter ? "
Miss Jones—"Yes sir."
Smith—"Well, Mith Jonesth. i came
plaguy near being your father vyouth !
It is needless to say that "Mith Jonesth
traveled. "—Ex.
LANGUAGE OF THE HANDKER
CHIEF.
"The handkerchief, the handkerchief'
ejaculated the jealous Moor, Othello, and
killed his loving Desdemonia because she
failed to respond. Fans and flowers have
each their language, and why not the hand
kerchief V No reason having been discov
ered, it has transpired that handkerchief
flirtations are rapidly coming into fa.shi* m
As yet, the "code of sigmds" is confined to
a select few, but we do not intend that
they shall enjoy the monopoly any longer,
and accordingly publish the key. Our in-,
formant says that it may be u.->e.l ;.t the up- j
era. theatre, balls, and such place,-, but
! never in church ; and we hope that this re-:
striction will bo observed, and are quite
sure that it won't. .
Drawing hcross the Bps -De irons of an j
acquaintance.
Drawing across the* eyes—l am lorry.
Taking it by the centre—Yon arc too
willing.
Dr> pping—We will 1 i fri-nd .
Twirling in both hands—lndiU'er. nee.
Drawing it across the cheek—l love you.
Drawing it through the hands—J lmte
you.
Lotting it rest on the right cheek —Y. .*.
Letting it rest on the left cheek—No.
Twirling it in the left hand 1 love an
other,
Twirling it iu the right hand—l wish to
be rid of you.
Folding it —I wish to speak with you. ,
Over the shoulder me.
• Opposite corners in both l ands—Wait i*
for me.
Drawing across the forehead—We arc j
watched.
Placing on the right ear—You have j
changed.
Letting it remain on your eves—You are ;
cruel.
Winding around the forefinger —I am < 11-
gagctl
Winding around the third finger—l am
married. *
Putting it in the pocket—No more at
present.
firjf" At a Paris theatre they were play
ing a sensational drama. The whole au
dience listened anxiously and breathlessly.
A youth saved his mother, who was about
to tumble headlong down a precipice,
which caused a general emotion, and sobs
innumerable. Just then the attention of
the whole house was directed to the gal
lery, whore sat a mother and her son, the
former of whom administered to the bow a
sound cuff which was followed by tin irre
pressible bawl, "why didn't you do as
much for me, booby, when your sot of a
father tried to throw me out of the win
dow ? "
An old fellow of the ultra inquisitive ai
der asked a little girl on board the train,
who was sitting by her nfot'uer, as to her
name, destination, etc ! After learning she
wasgoingto Philadelphia, he asked, "What
motive is taking you thither, my dear ?'!
"I believe they call it the Locomotive,
sir," was the innocent reply.
The "intrusive stranger," was extin
guished.
A gentleman was completing the
sale of a horse which he was very anxious
to dispose of. when a little urchin appeared
and innocently inquired: " Grandpa
which horse you goin' to sell —that one you
built a fire under yesterday to make him
draw?" The bargain was at an cml.
fey How old is your mamma? " asked a
love-smitten old bachelor of the daughter
of the widow who had encountered him. "I
don't know, sir ; ma's age varies from alxmt
forty-three to forty-five," was the artless
reply ; aud the bachelor was disenchanted.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
i\ T O. 25.
pisf \\" JftltFviuiSf.
"I'll give that girl a piece of my mind,"
exclaimed a young fellow. "I wouldn't.''
' replied hi-; uncle, "von have none to spare."
"Patrick, do yoil know the fate of the
drunkard?" "Fate? Don't I stand on
the most beautiful pair yon have ever
seen V "
| Mr-;. Partington asks indignantly, if the
! bills l>efore Congress are not counterfeit,
why there should. l>o so much difficulty in
passing them.
A coxcomb told a lady that he knew her
thoughts by Iter eye.
"Do you ? " she said ;then I am sure you
will keep them a secret, for they are by no
means to your advantage,"
An imper inont fellow asked a gentleman
at a public gathering why lie had shaved off
hi- side whiskers, and was answered, that
|to meet some men he required more
! "cheek."
A little boy was mincing a bit of ginger-
Wgtud. his mother asked who gave it toliim.
i "miss Johnson g.ieitto me." And did
j you thiiuk her for it ?" "Yes I did, but 1
| didn't tell her so," vas the replv.
A r< vivalist cueountered a largo sized
: African, and ask. Ihi in. "My good man,
| have you fotmd f!i "Lord?" To which
Sambo replied in u surprised manner:
"(' y mas-a. e.m do Lord lost ?'*
. A i.- tn in "Boston, who advertised for a
j wo. ••{ rani .ii of means," received near
iv" °" e thou, nd }ihotogra|)h.s of women
i who waiitcal lum. He is about to start a
j fool's f aliery.
j j.- _
A PATIENT LAD. —"Ben," said a father,
! the other d iy. "I'm busy now, }>ut as soon
as I can git tine. T mean to give you a
flogging. "Don't hurry yourself, pa,"
i replied he, "I can wvrr."
<4>
—a crov ' 1 horse car. First p'as
j •- nger -to sturdy laborer standing in front
lof him. "1 y the: , I've got toes!" .Sec
:ig —"i'-e-s" ui gleam of intelli-
I nee lighting up his face,) "I feel Ym.".
A a rv ,nodes: yosuig I.tdy who was a
pa--.-.' u,: ron IK> wd a packet ship, if is said
-pr.in iat of her berth, and jumped over
hoard .ui ha..iyg a captain, during a storm
j orut ■ the unite to "ha il down the SHEETS."
A young irishman, who had married
when i J was about nineteen years of age,
ooi plainii 'of tic difficulties to which his
! early in .:•> , gesu! j< . .cJhim, said he would
! tiovi rn. ri-y -.> votnig again if he lived to
jbe old a Methusaieh,
ax AonumviiLE.—The landlord of
a hotel - lid to a border :
"Look "o here! I want you to jiay your
i Ixuu'il bill, and you must. I have asked
! v< n lor it oitou enough : and 1 tell yon now
i that you don t leave this house until you
! have paid it."
j "LTOOJ ! said the lodger. "I'll stay with
! you as long as I live."
C " A lady asked a very silly Scotchman
how it happened that the Scots, who came
out of their own country, wore, generally
speaking, men of more ability than those *
who remained at home. "I), madam,"
said he, "the reason i.s obvious. At every
outlet there are persons stationed to exam
ine all .v ho pass, all for the honor of the
country no one i : permitted to leave it,
who is not a may of understanding."—
"Then, said she. "I suppose yon were
smuggled."
*#►—
Ptu.v.vr Bex. —Mr. H is a jnomiueyt
man about town, and luts a large inonied
interest in one of the theatres. He is, al
so. a well-behaved mail, and has a pew in
St. which lie lyis never honored
with his presence, .hough his family are al
ways ia their'jiMbes on Sundays.' The
clergyman, meeting him one day, felt call
tvl upon to remonstrate with him for his
fljbsenee.
"Well, Tam cbming," said Mr. H ,
but to tell you the truth. 1 don't know
which is my bo.r."
The clergyman gravely told him if lie
would call on the s. xton he would point
out liis boji.
A in' 'lvnt Natchez, Mississippi, bought .
his goods at the store of a Jacobin, and pur
chased, among other things, ten pounds of
sugar, because it was sold one cent per
pound less than at other stores. He after
_vard' boast-. .1 bo w cheap lie had bought tlie
sugar < f another merchant, who asked liiui
to bring to him the ten pounds of sugar,
which being done, it was found to weigh
cant eight pound, wlPteupon the crowd"
commenced to laugh at the negro for allow
ing himself to he cheated. The negro 1
studied for a moment and then said :
"frite-s he didn't cheat dis child much, for
while lie w:b; gLfTng'de 'Uigur T stole two
pairs of de.-.e shoeu" and he. brought them
forth from his pocket.