HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher. \ OL. VIII. iUpming fJtniocr.iL ptinocrauc weekly 'iWfcj ■/ m J'7\~ it News, the Art. fj. rW Y * i ard sciences4a. Fab -1;-heJ every W' 9 lne- jj d v, it Tunkhauneck *ll RgSLff. HARVEY SICKIER T Terms —1 copy 1 year, in advance) $2,00 ; if not |" J within six months, *2.50 will be charged NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ure rar.ige?re paid; unless at the option of puMi RATES OF ADVERTISING TEN LINES CONSTITUTE A Sql ARE. one Mjuare tine or three insertions $1 50 Every subsequ nt insertion less than 8 50 REAL ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTY, and GE.CKPVL AuvERTtsiNG, as inav be agreed upon. PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements oy tbe column : One column, 1 year, S6O Half column, I year 35 Third column, 1 year, 35 Fourth column, t year, 20 ItusilK-KN Cards of one square or less, per year •uth paper. $8 EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with out Advertisement —15 cts. per line. Liberal terms made with permanent advertisers EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2,50 OBITU ARIES.- exceeding ten lira s, each ; RELT 910l T S and LITER ARY NOTICES, not of general hterest, one h tlftbe regular rates. A Ivertbementa must be hanled in bv TVES AY NOON, to insure insertion the same week. JGIt WORK fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit the times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK trust be paid tor, when ordered Business Notices, | lit 1.1. >i ■ Ifif .It. ATTORNEYS. Office is on \V:wren Street Tunkhannock !'. W. E. LITTLE. J. A. SITTSEK. K*. COOI'ER, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON • N'cwton Centre. Luzerne County Pa. OI„ PABBIBH. ATTORNEY AT LAW • Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanoek Wyoming Co. Pa i 1. >l. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of- ! fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunic ni not k. Pa P J llHNfc, ATTORN£VANDCO UNSEL- J. a LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co - , Pa fee ial uttemiou given to settlement of dece dent's estates Nijh j'soa. Pa. Das. 5, log"—v7nl9yl 1 T ,J. W 11.SON, AT TO • NFY AT LAW. Col \1 . testing an I Real Estate Agent. lowa Lands for sale. Scran ton, Pa. -Utf. i t STERHOI T & DEW ITT. Attorney.-' at Law- ) v ' • tiff e. opposite Hie Conk, Tunkhannock, Pa. j 1' M. o.s'iE allot T. (}. C. DEW ITT J r tV. lIIIOADI, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON, J • will attend prom, tly to all calls it. his pro fusion. May he (ouad at his Office at the Drug More, or at his residence on Putnam Sreet, formerly occupied by A. K. Pc.kham Esq. . DENTISTRY. / • h itim.L'k Borough r" ® -it * 3 '' ,! - i wf-'Wr !.-n.|<*r bis J.rotcs \ , •" sional services to Off.ee on second floor of NKW JEWKLRV STOBE, on TIOOA St. vU-nlt-etn. PACIFIC HOTEL,* 170,172, 174 A 170 Greenwich Street ONE DOOR A!M)VE CORTLANDT STItEET, NKW YORK.) The unpersigned takes pleasure in annonncing to Lis numerous friends and patrons that from this ■late, the charge of the Pacilic will lie $2 50 PER DAY. B-ing ite Proprietor of this house, and therefore ft sfr on the ton common exaction of an inordinate tent, he Is Itilly able to meet the downward tenden cy ol prices without any falling off of service. It will now, as heretotbie, be bis aim to maintain tin litiiished the favorable reputation of the Pacific, which it ha* enjoved for many years, as one of the "f travelers' hotels. THE TABLE will be bountifully with everv delicacy of the season THK ATTENDANCE will be fouml efficient and nd oMiginr. THK I.i it ATJON will be lonnd convenient fqr - - whose business calls thnn In Hie lower pert of t'c city, and of ready aceses to all Rail Road and S:- t:uLat Lines. JOHN PATTEN. Oct l'rth IS6B. nIS-6m. HUFFORD HOUSE. XUNKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., PA TIIIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY I I been refitted and turnished in the latest style, j f-rery attention will be given to the comfort end j lenience of those who patronize tbe House. 11, HUFFORD Proprietor, j furkli .nnock, Pa., June 17, 1363 v7n44 ■ BOLTON HOUSE. lIAItmSHIMUi, I'LNNA. The undersigned having lately pur. based the lII'EHLER HOUSE " property, has already eom- J>en.-ed mil alterations and improvements as will rt'i ler thi- old and popular House equal, if not supe ' '. to any Hotel in the City of H irrisburg. Vc' Dtinuance of the public patronage is refpect "lly edicited. GEO. J, BOLTON- I WALL'S HOTEL, LATZ AMERICAN HOUSE, I T U\fcII.\NNOCK, WYOMING CO., IA. F'BS est liilishment has recently bt|ji refitted an j t'urni-'netl in tbe l itest style Everv attention < ''i yivea t j the comfort and oonvenieuce ol those *4o patronize tbe House T. B W ALL. Owner and Proprietor.. ] 'uokhannork, September 11. 18GI . MEANS' HOTEL. TO WA TV 33 /V. I* A "• B. BARTLET, late t, "cuAiuAHD Holtar, ELMIBA, N Y PKOPHIETOR. The .MEANS HOTEL, i one of tne LARGEST jV AKUA\KD ii* uses in the country—lt e.l lu the muni ~ and improved style* *• Eu piin. are ep .red to make it a pleasanani • 'topping ptace for all h2l-ly. ) The new Broom still new! AND WITH THE NEW YEAR, Will he u.6d with more sweeping effect than hereto fore,by large additions from time tx> time, of Choice aon desirable GOODS, at the New Store OF C DETRICK, in S. Stark's Bri.-k Block AT TUNKHAKNOCK, PEII Where can be 'ound, at h!1 times, one of the Largest and Richest assortments ever offered in this vicinity, Consisting of BLACK AND FANCYCOL'RD DRESS SILKS, FRENCH, ENGLISH and AMERICAN MERINOS, EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CLOTHS, POPLINS, SERGES, and PAREMETTOS, BLACK LI'S 11E AND COLORED ALPACCAS WOOL. ARMI'RE I'EKIN AND MOISELIEU DELAINS, INPORTED AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS of Best Manufactures, Ladies Cloths and Saequeings, FURS, SHAWLS, FANCY WOOLEN GOODS, &a. LADIES RETICULES, SHOPPING BAGS and BASKKIS. TRUNKS, VALISES, and TRAVELING BAGS, Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White Goods, aud Yamkee notions in endless va riety. HOOP SKIRTS A VOR6ETTS, direct from the manufacturers, at greatly reduced prices. FLANNELS all Colors a nil Qualities. KNIT GOODS, Cloths, Cassimeres, Ve'stings. Cotfouadcs, Sheetings, Shirtings, Drills, Denims, Ticks, Strip, s, .Vc. Every Description of BO' >TS A SH( >ES, | HATS & CATS. Paper Hangings, Window Shades, Cur tains, Curtain Fixtures, Caiqx ts. Oil- C'lotlis, Croekery, Glass and Stonewaie. Tinware, Ma le expressh for this trade, and war- I ia. ted to giv<- Satisfaction, at 20 per cent, j cheaper than the usual rates in this section. | HARDWARE CUTLERY, of all | kinds, SILVER PLATED WARE, Puints, Oils, and Painters Materials, Putty, Window Glass, Ac. KEROSENE 'OIL, Chandeliers, Lamps, *' Lanterns, Lantern Glares, Lamp Chimneys, Shades and Canters. COAL. AS 111 ON, A BBL. SALT FLOUR, FEED, MEAL, BUTTER, CHEESE, LARD, PORK. HAMS, and FISH. SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE SPICES. SYRUP, A MOLASSES, WOOD & WILLOW WARE, KOPC*. CORDAGE, PATENT MEDICINES. DRUGS, and DYE 3, FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac, These goods have been selected with great care to suit the wants ot this community, and will be sold as heretofore, at the lowest living rates for cash or exchanged for conn try produce at market prices. Thankful For the past liberal patronage, I shall endeavor by strict attention to my business, to merit a continuance of the same, and will try to make the future still more attractive and ben eficial to customers. C. DETRICK. l TUNKHANNOCK WYOMING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27. 1800. '[ gottrtj. [ Written for tbo Wyoming Democrat.] THE GRECIAN BEND. '* BY J. W. SCOrTEX. 0 In aneient times tbe poople say, That ladies did not dress so gay; k For then they learned to wash and mend, | And did not have much time to bend. But in these times It is not so, For they not having much to do ; And if they had, they would pretend To be qulto stiff with the Grecian Bend. In modern times they do not wish, To even sew or wash a dish ; Most or their time they useless spend, In making the thing, called Grecian Bend. When hoops came round the fashions were, To be well hooped ere they did stir ; Since that time tbeyWo worn the ball, ; That bears the name oi waterfall. They've pass'dthro' all the Falls and Crooks, And greatly changed their forms and looks; Hut Done io much to be condemned, As the unslghlty thing called Grecian Bend. Don't say too much when you are near !The haughty ones who dress so queer, For fear that you might offend. By speaking of their Grecian Bend. The Grecian Bend, Oh what a crook ! That women wear and how they look I Very like a ped'ler with his pack That's strapped upon his crooked back. tVhcn you see their puffed up clothes. Or see them walking on their toes, Then you'll begin to comprehend, They've got a touch of the Grecian Bend. Dear ladies, surely let me say, That if you follow fashion's way ; You'll soon begin to apprehend, There's nothing nice in a Orecian Bend. ETHAN ALLEN AND HIS DAUGHTER. [ "Slic was a lovely, pious, young woman whose mother, then long in the spirit-laud, had instructed her in the truths of the Bi ble. When she was about to die, she call ed her father t< > her bedside, and taming upon him her pale face, lighted by lustrous blue eyes, she said, with a sweet voice; ■'Dear father, I am about to cross the cold, dark river, Shall 1 trust to your opinions, or to the teachings of dear mother ?" These words, like a keen arrow, pierced the recess es ol' his most truthful emotions. "Trust to your mother I" said the champion of in fidelity ; and, covering his face with Ins | hands, lie wvpt like a child."— Htrpir's 1 Muiilltiii for A o rrcihtr. ] "Thud imp* of death arc coming fast, My father, o'er ray brow, J The past with all Its cncs has fled, And I must torn me now To that dim future that in vein My feeble eyes descry: Tell me, my father, in this hour In whose stern faith to die? "In thine? I've watch'd thy scornfuAmllc, And heard tliy withering tone, Whene'er the Christian s humble hope Was placed above thine owu, I've heard tliee speak of coming death Without a shade of gloom. And laugh at all the childish fears That cluster round the tomb. I " j "Or is It in my mother's faith ! How fondly do 1 trace j Through many a weary year long past m That calm ami saintly face! | How often do I call to mind. Now she is 'ueath the sod. The place—the hour—in which she drew My early thoughts to God ! " 'Twas then she took this sacred book, And from its burning page Read how its truths support the soul In youth and failing age; And bade me in its precepts live, And by its precepts die, That 1 might share a home of love Iu worlds beyond the sky. "My father, shall I look above, Amid this gathering gloom To Him whose promises of love Extend beyond the tomb? Or curse the Being who hath bless'd This checkered path of mine; t Must I embrace my mother's faith. •Vr die, my sire, in thine? The frown upon that warrior-brow Passed like a cloud nwav, And tears coursed down the rugged check, That flowetknot till that day, •Not —not mine"'—with choking voice The skeptic made reply, j But in my mother's holy faith, My daughter, may'st thou diet" C. C. Cox. UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN. An Eastern proverb, which declares that there are no ungrateful children, is nearer the truth than it appears. It is but another version of the Bible maxim ; "Train up the i child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will never depart from it." The parent who does really train up a child in the way it should go, is the parent who truly deserves the gratitude of his child and ■ he is the only parent who can hope to re ceive in full measure. How many parents there are, who, after indulging their chil dren's desire, are sincerely astonished to see them making no return of love and gratitude. Gratitude! For what should they be grateful ? For an impaired diges tion ? For a mind empty ? For hands unskilled ? For a childhood wasted ? For the chance of forming a noble character lost ? These are poor claims upon the gratitude of a child. Bring up your child so that, at mature age, he has a sound con stitution, h uthy desires and an honest heart, a well formed mind, good manners, and a use ul calling, and you may rely up on his m ikiuj such a rich return of grate ful affei •tion, as shall a thousand times re- j pay you for the toil aud self-denial which 1 such b training cost. | *' To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " THE HEROINE OE THE SIERRA MORENA. The superiority which man assumes over woman on account o. iiis strength, talents md courage, is very equivocal indeed. In ill ages we read, of instances where female courage or presence of mind lias not only appeared predominant over that of the other sex, but has been the means of sav ing and securing life and liberty, when man tins shrunk from the daring task. Women were once the law-givers of Israel, and Zen >oia, the Palmyrene, set at defiance all the hosts of Rome. Iu later days we have had brillant examples of female heroism. Joan of Are, whose spirit, tinctured with super stition and roused to enthusiasm, drove the English fr> m France and crowned a fu gitive king iu Klieiius, can never be forgot ten ; nor will all the laurels a Talbot won vt r redeem his character from the staiu of putting her to death as a witch, who put them to defeat, as a woman endowed with a mauly spirit. In later limes wc have had the "Maid of •Saragossa," who stood at the cannon's urouth and led the citizens on to victory, when even hope had fled from the hearts of men; and reposing in a female bosom, •hanged the tide of battle, and poured a leluge off the foe, that in three mouths drove him from the whole of Spain, south of tire Pyrenees. We know none more striking, though loss noticed, than that of the young, the beautiful, the unfortunate Lady June Grey, who, on the morning of the execution, put ting her hand to her neck, said, "They tell me the executioner is very expert, and 1 have but a little neck, so my trouble will soon be over." But presence of mind and fortitude of virtue were nevermore strik ingly displayed than in the following in stance, which occurred where the fsierni Morena rears its head above dark rolling clouds ; and where also nature, iu licr rud est form, displays to the weary traveler a wide and dreary prospect of barren wilds, di p irti i rocks, falling torrents, gloomy forests of pines, opening claams. and all the dark variety that makes natiuv terrible, without a single gleam of sunshine to scat ter, as it were, the hope of heaven over the gulf of despair On tills spot, far above the haunts oi' civilized men, where iiio wild winds whistle and the tempests roar, stands the chateau of (' runt dc Rondevillc, where the narrow path leads the traveler round the mountain's summit, and where the long-practiced mule carries jts burthen in security, though the deviation of an inch would precipitate beast and rider over ti precipice three hundred feet high. Ou this sjKtf, perch"d like an eagle's in . '., i-> thy seat of hospitality to be found. The Count, who is lord of the valley bo low, choose hero- to fix liff abode, lie fon 1 of field sports and mountain scenery ; to bring down the hawk and falcon, to wind the thicket after the wolf and the fox, and to spring from rock to rock with giant bound and the fleet chamois, consti tuted lib amusement of the day. At even ing's close, to open his door to the way" worn traveler, to rouso the fire on the hearth and spread the table with plenty, were his predominant delight s. .thousands have tasted Lis liberality, and whenever he visited the smiling fields below, the lisping of childred and the benedictions of the aged proclaimed his presence. He had passed las lift' without ostenta tion, and liad not a male servant iu his ret inue. One young girl, a native of Estre raadura, aged nineteen, was selected to at tend upon his own person, and he treated her "as his own child. One evening lie had been out late, and ou lib return lie threw himself upon u couch and sank into repose. Dorothea, aware that he would not re quire her assistance any more, retired to rest, aud so did all the servants. About one in the morning a party of banditti, at the head of whom was Randolph VaseaJi, so long the terror of Spain, thundered at the gates of the chateau, and soon burst them open. They tore the menials from their beds, and with horrid imprecations made them disclose where thoir little treas ures were deposited, and some they put to instant death. The noise awakened the Count, who rushed unarmed into the liall. Rudolph Vaseali seized him by the throat, and was on the point of stabbing him, when Dorothea, the little maid of Estre madurn, entered, bearing a csunlle. The robber started at seeing her, refrained from his blow, and loosened his grasp. The fine form of Dorotheo, robbed in niglit attire, appeared as a beautiful vision, or a spectre from another and a better world. The work of death was going on at the extremi ty of the hall, and over the marble floor Streams of blood flowed in torrents. "Stop," she cried, "the work of death, and follow me. / You want money, and I will conduct you where it is to be had." "What pledge have T for the truth ?" said Randolph Yiiscali, leaving his hold of the Count. "The pledge of blood — the tic of nature I am thy only sister." It was so. Randolph, with commanding voice, ord'Ted his band to desist from mur der and to retire, while he compelled the Count to sit down under a pledge not to rise till he bade him. "Recollect," said ho, "my sister, for such thou-urt, (however earnest thou here,) I know no ties hut those that connect me with mv followers. I have checked the stream of death only to open the mine of gold." "Follow nie," said Dorothea, "and you shall have wealth beyond your hopes and wishes." Slowly they winded up the gothic stair case ; tire moon shone sickly through the arched and ivy covered windows ; no sound was hoard save that of the whispering wind of the night that appeared to mourn for those whose lives had recently passed away." They reached the summit of the eastern tower. "I hear," said Randolph, "the murmur ing of my band, who are awaiting my arri val with the booty." "They shall not long wait thy arrival," ; said Dorothea, and at that moment they ! were at the edge of the turret. She dashed i her lif lit to the earth, and seizing Randolph j by the shirt of his ctilabra or tunic, hurled him from the battlements. He fell amidst lii.s followers, and expired on the spot, Amazement seized them all. Dorothea has tily rang tne alarm bell that communicated with the convent below, and fired off the ! signal gun. The band fled in all directions, imagining a force was concealed in the j chateau: and Dorothea, rushing down, i raised the Count in lier arms, with whom j she ever after lived a loved and loving wife. ! Randolph was indeed her brother, but had i long been a detestable murderer. She j therefore abhorred his deeds, and ou this j perilous occasion she sacrificed him ou the i shrine of duty. " . This chateau still stands ; the Count and C'.mutess still exist and distribute their hos pitality more generously than before ; and the traveler, as lie passes over the dreary height s of the "Sierra Moreua," shudder ing, murmurs the name of Rudolph Yasrali. and blesses that of Dorothea dc Rondevillc. ONE KISS, MARIA. Tlse follow i.jg is.contributed hv the "Fat Contributor" of the "Cincinnati 'limes: "There we* a ftinny little episode on the ear that help, dto arou-e us. At Montana a young man and a voting woman came on b lard of the sleeping car, and the former aid: "See here. Mr. Conductor, I want one of y.-ur best bunks for this young wo ve.m undone for myself iudividuly. One will do for us when we git to Bluffs, hey, M . ier ? a playful aud affectionate poke at Mai i< r, with his elbow, to wliieh she replies, "now, John be quit !" for you see we're arc goiu' to git married at Marier's uncle's vvle ti v..- git there. We might'a been married at Moutauuy, but we took a habit to wait till we got to the Bluffs," bein' as Marier's uncle is a minister, and they charge a gol'fired price for hitehin' folk tat Montanny." was assigned to one of the "best bunks," and John was given one not far away. After a time the inmates of the car were all stowed away in their berths to go through the inevitable al- ] fernaiis of sweater:ng and freezing. "During the stoppage of the train at one station the voice of Jolui was lteard, raised in pleading accents, all unconscious that the train had stopped, and that tones which the noise of the rattling wheels had drowned while the cars were moving, could be distinctly heard by all when they had stopped. "Now, Maria, you might give a feller jes' one kiss." '"John, you quit, or I'll git right out here aud hoof it back to Montanny in the snow storm." ' Only one little kiss, Maria, and I'll go ; hope to die'f I don't." "John j "Just at that interesting moment a gray head protruded from a berth at the other end of the car, and old man cried out so that all could hear : "Maria, for God's sake give John one kiss, so that we ean go to sleep some time to-night." "It is needless to remark -Ait a peal of laughter rang from one end of the ear to the other, under cover of which John slunk back to the solitary seclusion of his 'bunk leaving Maria to the undisturbed posses- j sions of her marriage license, which she in- ! terprcted to permit no license to John until accompanied by the proper certificate. And "Mariar was right." U -.;? "Tltc following conversation is report ed as having taken place iu the barber shop attached to one of our principal ho tels, the other (by : Fi" t man and brother (reading a news paper)—-I see dis Mr. Rosschilds, w hat jes' died, was worth fo' hundred million dollars. Second man and brother (scraping a ra-! zor) —ho ? First m. and b.—Mr. Rosschilds. Second do. How much was he worf, did you sry ? j First—Fo' hundred million dollars. Second—Goshamighty ! lie IUUS' had a j good distriek. j First—Good distriek ! What do you j mean ? Second—l mean a good district; dat's ( what I mean. I'sposc he was a whiskey inspector, else how could he make so much j money ? - j ' (Exeunt Reporter.) I A GOOD STOBY. —A well-known new--pa per correspondent in an adjoining town furnishes us with the following story. It is a genuine one, and will be recognized by many who are familiar with the facts.— There was a certain man. whom we shall call .Smith, because that wasn't his name, and he courted a girl or rather wanted to, whose name we will call Brown. Now Smith wasn't so smart in things matrimo nial as he might have been, and a follow named Jones "sailed in" and cut him out. Jones married the girl and in due course of time Mrs. J. presented her husband with a ■ nice little daughter. About fifteen years afterwards, Smith was strolling around in the neighborhood where his former sweet heart used to perambulate. Meeting Jones' daughter returning from school, Smith thought ho could detect in her countenance the well-known and fondly remeinborod features of her mother. Wishing to en gage in conversation, he confronted the damsel, when the following dialogue took place ; Smith—(who lisped a little.) "Ain't your name Jonesth V " Miss Jones —"Yes sir." Smith—"Ain't you Mister Tham Jon esth daughter ? " Miss Jones—"Yes sir." Smith—"Well, Mith Jonesth. i came plaguy near being your father vyouth ! It is needless to say that "Mith Jonesth traveled. "—Ex. LANGUAGE OF THE HANDKER CHIEF. "The handkerchief, the handkerchief' ejaculated the jealous Moor, Othello, and killed his loving Desdemonia because she failed to respond. Fans and flowers have each their language, and why not the hand kerchief V No reason having been discov ered, it has transpired that handkerchief flirtations are rapidly coming into fa.shi* m As yet, the "code of sigmds" is confined to a select few, but we do not intend that they shall enjoy the monopoly any longer, and accordingly publish the key. Our in-, formant says that it may be u.->e.l ;.t the up- j era. theatre, balls, and such place,-, but ! never in church ; and we hope that this re-: striction will bo observed, and are quite sure that it won't. . Drawing hcross the Bps -De irons of an j acquaintance. Drawing across the* eyes—l am lorry. Taking it by the centre—Yon arc too willing. Dr> pping—We will 1 i fri-nd . Twirling in both hands—lndiU'er. nee. Drawing it across the cheek—l love you. Drawing it through the hands—J lmte you. Lotting it rest on the right cheek —Y. .*. Letting it rest on the left cheek—No. Twirling it in the left hand 1 love an other, Twirling it iu the right hand—l wish to be rid of you. Folding it —I wish to speak with you. , Over the shoulder me. • Opposite corners in both l ands—Wait i* for me. Drawing across the forehead—We arc j watched. Placing on the right ear—You have j changed. Letting it remain on your eves—You are ; cruel. Winding around the forefinger —I am < 11- gagctl Winding around the third finger—l am married. * Putting it in the pocket—No more at present. firjf" At a Paris theatre they were play ing a sensational drama. The whole au dience listened anxiously and breathlessly. A youth saved his mother, who was about to tumble headlong down a precipice, which caused a general emotion, and sobs innumerable. Just then the attention of the whole house was directed to the gal lery, whore sat a mother and her son, the former of whom administered to the bow a sound cuff which was followed by tin irre pressible bawl, "why didn't you do as much for me, booby, when your sot of a father tried to throw me out of the win dow ? " An old fellow of the ultra inquisitive ai der asked a little girl on board the train, who was sitting by her nfot'uer, as to her name, destination, etc ! After learning she wasgoingto Philadelphia, he asked, "What motive is taking you thither, my dear ?'! "I believe they call it the Locomotive, sir," was the innocent reply. The "intrusive stranger," was extin guished. A gentleman was completing the sale of a horse which he was very anxious to dispose of. when a little urchin appeared and innocently inquired: " Grandpa which horse you goin' to sell —that one you built a fire under yesterday to make him draw?" The bargain was at an cml. fey How old is your mamma? " asked a love-smitten old bachelor of the daughter of the widow who had encountered him. "I don't know, sir ; ma's age varies from alxmt forty-three to forty-five," was the artless reply ; aud the bachelor was disenchanted. TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance. i\ T O. 25. pisf \\" JftltFviuiSf. "I'll give that girl a piece of my mind," exclaimed a young fellow. "I wouldn't.'' ' replied hi-; uncle, "von have none to spare." "Patrick, do yoil know the fate of the drunkard?" "Fate? Don't I stand on the most beautiful pair yon have ever seen V " | Mr-;. Partington asks indignantly, if the ! bills l>efore Congress are not counterfeit, why there should. l>o so much difficulty in passing them. A coxcomb told a lady that he knew her thoughts by Iter eye. "Do you ? " she said ;then I am sure you will keep them a secret, for they are by no means to your advantage," An imper inont fellow asked a gentleman at a public gathering why lie had shaved off hi- side whiskers, and was answered, that |to meet some men he required more ! "cheek." A little boy was mincing a bit of ginger- Wgtud. his mother asked who gave it toliim. i "miss Johnson g.ieitto me." And did j you thiiuk her for it ?" "Yes I did, but 1 | didn't tell her so," vas the replv. A r< vivalist cueountered a largo sized : African, and ask. Ihi in. "My good man, | have you fotmd f!i "Lord?" To which Sambo replied in u surprised manner: "(' y mas-a. e.m do Lord lost ?'* . A i.- tn in "Boston, who advertised for a j wo. ••{ rani .ii of means," received near iv" °" e thou, nd }ihotogra|)h.s of women i who waiitcal lum. He is about to start a j fool's f aliery. j j.- _ A PATIENT LAD. —"Ben," said a father, ! the other d iy. "I'm busy now, }>ut as soon as I can git tine. T mean to give you a flogging. "Don't hurry yourself, pa," i replied he, "I can wvrr." <4> —a crov ' 1 horse car. First p'as j •- nger -to sturdy laborer standing in front lof him. "1 y the: , I've got toes!" .Sec :ig —"i'-e-s" ui gleam of intelli- I nee lighting up his face,) "I feel Ym.". A a rv ,nodes: yosuig I.tdy who was a pa--.-.' u,: ron IK> wd a packet ship, if is said -pr.in iat of her berth, and jumped over hoard .ui ha..iyg a captain, during a storm j orut ■ the unite to "ha il down the SHEETS." A young irishman, who had married when i J was about nineteen years of age, ooi plainii 'of tic difficulties to which his ! early in .:•> , gesu! j< . .cJhim, said he would ! tiovi rn. ri-y -.> votnig again if he lived to jbe old a Methusaieh, ax AonumviiLE.—The landlord of a hotel - lid to a border : "Look "o here! I want you to jiay your i Ixuu'il bill, and you must. I have asked ! v< n lor it oitou enough : and 1 tell yon now i that you don t leave this house until you ! have paid it." j "LTOOJ ! said the lodger. "I'll stay with ! you as long as I live." C " A lady asked a very silly Scotchman how it happened that the Scots, who came out of their own country, wore, generally speaking, men of more ability than those * who remained at home. "I), madam," said he, "the reason i.s obvious. At every outlet there are persons stationed to exam ine all .v ho pass, all for the honor of the country no one i : permitted to leave it, who is not a may of understanding."— "Then, said she. "I suppose yon were smuggled." *#►— Ptu.v.vr Bex. —Mr. H is a jnomiueyt man about town, and luts a large inonied interest in one of the theatres. He is, al so. a well-behaved mail, and has a pew in St. which lie lyis never honored with his presence, .hough his family are al ways ia their'jiMbes on Sundays.' The clergyman, meeting him one day, felt call tvl upon to remonstrate with him for his fljbsenee. "Well, Tam cbming," said Mr. H , but to tell you the truth. 1 don't know which is my bo.r." The clergyman gravely told him if lie would call on the s. xton he would point out liis boji. A in' 'lvnt Natchez, Mississippi, bought . his goods at the store of a Jacobin, and pur chased, among other things, ten pounds of sugar, because it was sold one cent per pound less than at other stores. He after _vard' boast-. .1 bo w cheap lie had bought tlie sugar < f another merchant, who asked liiui to bring to him the ten pounds of sugar, which being done, it was found to weigh cant eight pound, wlPteupon the crowd" commenced to laugh at the negro for allow ing himself to he cheated. The negro 1 studied for a moment and then said : "frite-s he didn't cheat dis child much, for while lie w:b; gLfTng'de 'Uigur T stole two pairs of de.-.e shoeu" and he. brought them forth from his pocket.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers