HARVEY SICKLER. Publisher. VOL. VIII. Ppming pniwcral 4 Democratic weekly piper Jeroted to Poll I—^ c iM News, the ArU J| I anl sciences Ac. Pub- ~8 K F j Ty- . luhed every We does- Wvoming County ,Pa tA /V. |£m ij I 6Y HARV Y SICKLER .H" Term* —1 copy 1 y® ar t (in* advance) 42,00; if H t j>aid within six months, t>2.50 will be charged MO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar fur.igesre paid; unless at the option of publisher. RATES OF ADVERTISING TK.T LINES CONSTITUTE A SQUARE. One square'ine or three insertions- • *1 50 Every subsequ' nt insertion less than 8 50 KEAI. ESTATE, PERSONAL PROPERTV, and GEUERAL AI'VEHTISING, as mav be agreed upon. PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements DY ihe column : One column, 1 year, SPO Half column, 1 year da Third column, 1 year,----: Fourth column, 1 year, 20 Business Cards of one square or less, per year j with paper, 8 T'TF" EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with out Advertisement— ls cts. per line. Liberal terms made with permanent advertisers . EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, *2,50 OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten tin's, each ; RELI OIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general merest, one half toe regular rutes. AdrCrtiseTimis must be banded in by TCES PAI NOON, to insure insertion the same week. JOB-WORK fall kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit the times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK must be paid for, when ordered Business Notices. K" it. ck W B MTTLB ATTORNEYS AT LAW OtSce (Hi Tioga Street Tunkbannock Pa HECOOPBI, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa. O f, I'AKKISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW. • Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanock Wyiming Co. Pa. U~~TI. *1 I'TATT, ATIUKNM ATLAMTOT Sec in Stark's Brie k Block Tioga St., Tunk aumock, Pa rf~J CHASE, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL 1 LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa Lqe ial attention given to settlement of dece dent's es Lilts Mich ils in, Pa. Dec. 5, 19(j7 v7nlDyl MJ. W ILSON, ATl'O NF"Y AT LAW, Col s letting and Real Estate Agent. lowa Lauds frule. SiTanion, Pa. 38lf. 1 f IV. ItHDADS. PHYSICIAN A SURGEuN, J, mil attend promptly Jo all calls in his pro- j fespiun. May be found at bis Office at the Drug j More, or at his residence on Putmau Srcet, formerly . •auj'led by A. K Peckham Esq. PORTRAIT, LANDSCAPE, AND OSNIMENTIL PATNTiriTG, 7/y If. TUGHT, A rfist. Rom over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's Block, TUNKHANNOCK, PA. Life-size Portraits painted from Amb'otvpes or h>a.igra|Jjs Photographs Painted in Oil Colors. — All orders for paintings exeiuted according to or der, or no charge made. It' lestructions given in Drawing, Sketching, Port.ait and Land-cape Painting, in Oil qr water Colors, and in all branches of the art. funk . July 31, "t;7 -vgnoO-tf. TTUFFORB HOUSE. TUNKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., PA. THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY been refitted and lurnished in the latest style. Every attention will be given to the comfort and eouveuituce of those who patronize the House. 11, tJt'FFORD Proprietor. Tunkhauuock, Pa., June t7, 1863—v7n44. BOLTON HOUSED IiAHRISKUThG, I'ENNA. The undersigned having lately purchased the "BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com- Bienced such alterations and improvements as will render this old sod popular House equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is refpect fally solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, TU NKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. rHIS establishment has recently been refitted sn furnished in the latest style Every attention will be given to the comfort and convenience of those who patronize the House. t T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor*, 'lunkhannock, September 11, 1861. MEANS' HOTEL. TOWA.NTDA.. IA, • D. B- B ART LET, jLateuti.. "BRAIN.NRD House, KLMIRA, N. Y. PKOPK I FITOK. The MEANS HOTEL, i one of tne LARGEST and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt is fitted up in the most modern and improved style sod no pains are spared to make it a pleaaantand agreeable stopping p|ace for all, vhu2l-ly. FOR PALE CHEAP, At JEREMIAH CAMPBELLS', Tunkhanonck Pa. n49-tf. NOTICE, All persons indebted to me, by note, judgment. o account, are requested to make payments im mediately and gave coat DANIEL WRIGHT. Tank., May 13, legS—n4o. 3000 Yds. DELAINES f<>r 15 cts. Ir yard, at C. DETRICK'3. 5000 Yards Best Prints, for "J ess pr yasd at - ' C. DETRIOR'S. TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 2, 1868, Latest JVews, Late arrival of New Goods. Great Bargains at the New Store of; C. Detriols., in S. Stark's Bri:k Block, AT TUNKHANNOCK, PEI'A. Having just returned from the City, I am now opening an entire New Stock of FALL GOODS, and one of the Icrgest and richest assortments ever ottered in this community Consisting of RICH AND FANCY COL'RD DRESS SILKS, FRENCH AND ENGLISH MERINOS, EMPRESS AND PRINCESS CI.OTUS, POPLINS, PAREMETTOS, BLACK AND COLORED ALPACCAS WOOL. AKMURE, I'EKTN AND MOUSED El' DEL A INS, INPORTED AND DOMESTIC GINGHAMS, PRINTS, of Best Manufactures and Latest Styles, Ladies Cloths and Sacqueings, Cloths, Cassi mores, Vestings, Satenetts, Tweeds, Jeans, Cottonades, Drills, Denims, Tieks, Cheeks, Stripes, Sheetings Shirtings, Bleached A Brown. Shawls, Sontags, Hoods. Furs, Ladies' Reticules, Shopping Bags and Baskets TRUNKS, VALISES and TRAVELING BAGS, Latest Styles, Kid, Silk, Lisle Thread, Cotton Gloves, Hosiery, Notions, Toilet and Fancy GOODS, FAFCY SOAPS, PERFUMERY, tfC; 4<•, 4-., :o: Black and Colored Velvets, Ribbons, Ruffles, Frills, Fringes, Braids, Beads, Ball and Bugle Trimmings A Large quantitv LATEST STYLE IIOOP SKIRTS, and CORSETT.S. direct from M inufaeturers, at greatly reduced prices, FLANNELS all Colors and Qualities. READY MADE clotliin.gr, AND GENTS' Furnishing Gogds. HATS AND CAPS of Latest Styles, :<>: . CALF, KIP, and HEAVY, BOOTS A SHOES. Ladies'. Misses', and Children's Kid Prunelle Mo rocco and Calf Gaiters, Shoes, and Slippers, Wall bI Window Paper, Window Curtains A Curtain Fix tures, Carpets A Oi I - Cloths. China, Glass, and Stone Ware, Tinware,—made expressly for this Trade, and wiirr.tnted lo give satisfaction, 20 per cent. Cheaper than the usual rates in htis section, Nails, Spikes, Iron Steel Horse Shoes Horso Shoe Nails, Nail Hods, Fftints, ■ Paint Oils, Painter s' Material, Putty, Window Glass, Kerosene Oil Hall, Tar lor, Stand, and Hand Lumps, Lanterns, Lamp Chitnnies, Shades, and Turners. COAL. ASIITON, TURK ISLAND, fy DDL. SALT FLOUR, FEED, MEAL, BUTTER, CHEESE, LARD, PORK, HAMS, and FISH. SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE SPICES, SYRUP, A MOLASSES, WOOD Se WILLOW WARE, ROPC9, CORDAGE, BASKETS, BROOMS, PAILS, TUBS, WASH BOARDS, CARPET S AEEPERS, BRUSHES, of all kinds, PATENT MEDICINES, DRUGS, and DYES. FLAVORING EXTRACTS, Ac., Ac, • ■ ■ :o: These goods have been selected with great care to suit the wants of this community, and will be sold as heretofore, at the lowest living rates tor cash or exchanged for country produce at market prices. Thanktul for the past liberal patronage, I shall endeavor by strict attention to my business, to mprit a continuance ot the 6ame, and will try to make the future still more attractive and ben eficial to customers. C. DETKICK. sortnj. _ ULYSSES. Who rode the pony round the ring, Though pony tried bit loud to fling, Pleasing papa with this great thing 1 U lyase*. Who left the army in disgust, Who bought • wooded farm on trust, And sold his wood and took his bust 7 Ulysses. Who drove the Hebrews from his camp, Into the Alligator swamp Where every thing was dark and damp 1 Ulysses. Who, worthy at those faithless Jew, Who kept Pa's share of cotton duea, All further permits did refuse 1 Ulysses. Who licensed cbap that woulJ divide With father Jesse, Argus-eyed, Who claimed the bair and eke the hide 1 Ulysses. Who was it played ad interim For Johnson, and bamboozled him, By re-instating Stanton grim ') Ulysses, Who takes his pay in solid gold, And asks that all who bonds do hold, Be paid in sterling coin and old 1 Ulysses. Who has no tongue, no words, no speech, Who knows no principles to teach, Yet hopes the height of power to reach 7 Ulysses; SUCH A LOVE LETTER. We have read love letters heretofore, and, mayhap, have written one or two; but for sublimity we never saw anything to comp ire with the following which we clip from an exchange: "Mr DEAR .SALLY: —Every time I think of you my heart flops up and down like a churn dasher. Sensations of unut terable j<>y caper over it like young goats over a stable root, and thrill thro' it like Spanish needles through a pair of tow linen trowsers. As a goslin swiinmith with de light in a mud puddle, so swim I in a sea of glory. Visions of ecstatic rapture, hick— er than the hair of a blacking brush and brighter than the hues of a humming bird's pinions, visit me in my slumber; and borne on their invisible wings, your imago stands before me, and I reacli out to grasp it, 1 ke an o'd pointer snapping at a blue-bot t'e fly. When I first beheld your angelic perfections 1 was bewildered, and my brain whirled ronnd like a bumble bee in a glass tumbler. My eyes stood open like cel'ar doors in country towns, I lifted up mv ears to catcli the silvery accents of your voice. My tongue refused to wag, and in silent admiration I drank in the sweet infection of love, as a thirsty man swollowcth a turn bier of hot wiskey punch. Since the light of your fare fell upon my life, I sometimes fell as if I could lift myself by my boot strops to the top of a church steep'e.— Day and night you are my thought— When Aurora, blushing like a biide, rises from her saffron couch; when the jay bird piper his tuneful lay in the apple tree by the spring house; when the chanticleer's shrill clarion heralds the coining morn; wle n the awaket.ed r'g ariseth from his bed and gruntbeth and go. th tor his morn ing refreshments; when the drowsy beetle wheels his drowning flight at sultry noon tide, and when the lowing cows come home at milking time, I think of thee: and like a piece of gum elastic my heart seems to stretch clean acros§ my bosom. Your hair is like the mane of a sorrel horse powder ed wi h gold; and the brass pins skewered through your waterfall fill me with un bounded awe. Youc forehead is smoother than the elbow of n oi l coat, and whiter than seventeen hundred linen. Your eyes are glorious to behold. In their liquid .depths I see legions of little Cupids bat tling and lighting like cohorts of ants in old army crackers. When their fire hit me full on my manly breast, it permeated my entire anatomv, like as a load of bird shot would go through a rotton apple.— Your nose is from a chunk of Parisian mar ble, and your mouth puckered with sweet ness. Nectar lingers on your lips like honev on a bear's paw, and myriads of un fledged kisses are there ready to fly out and light somewhue like young blue birds out of the parents nesL Your laugh ring on my ears like the wiudharp's strains, or the bleat of a stray lamb on the hillside..— The dimples on you cheeks are like bowets in beds of roses, or like hollows in cakes of home made sugar. I am dying to fly to your presence and pour our the burning eloquence of my love, as thrifty housewives pour out the hot cof fee. Away from you, lam meloncholy as a sick cat. Uncouth fears, like A thousand minnow 8, nibble at my spirits, and ray soul is pierced through with doubts as aa old cheese is bored with skippres. My love for you is stronger than the smell of old butter, Switzor cheese, or a kick of a mule; it is purer than the breath of a young cow, and more unselfish than the kitten S first caterwaul. As the song bird hungers for the light OF day, the cau tious mouse for fresh bacon in the trav, a lean pnp hankers after new milk, 60 I long for tbae. You are fairer than a speckled pnllet; sweeter than a Yankee doughnut fried in sorgbum molasses: brighter than the top knot plumage on the head of a mnacovy duck. You are candy kisses, pound cake, and sweetened toddy altogether. If these remark* wilj enable you to see the inside ot my soul, and me to win your affection a, I shall be as happy as a wood- " To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. " pecker in a cherry tree, or a stage horse in green pasture. If you cannot reciprocate my thrilling passion, I will die away like a poisoned bdbug,and in coming years when the shadows gr>w long from the hills, and the philanthropic frog sings his evening hyinn, y<>n, hapnv in another's love, can come and drop n tear, and toss a clod up on the last resting-place of— JAKE **•••. THE STATE DEBT. Radical Hypocracy and Deception. IIARTRANFT'S ANSWERS TO GAU SHA'S CATE('HI-M NOT IN ACCORD WITH THE AUDITOR GENERAL'S REPORT. The Radical State Committee have printed a "shorter catechism" upon the subject of the State debt, to which Gen. liartranft irakes responses. iY'e give the Committee the benefit of an insertion of the whole matter in our columns, as fol lows : Union Republican State Central Com tnit tee Rooms, No 1105 Chestnut street, Philadelphia, Ang. 4, 1868. General John F. liartranft, Auditor Gen eral . Dear Sir ; Please furnish, at your earl I est convenience, with such official infor mation as may be in your possession rela tive to the following questions : First. How much was the total debt of the State, Jan. 1, 1860 ? Second. How much was the total debt January 1, 1868 ] Third. To what extent during this pe riod has taxation been abated or - repeal ed ? Fourth. YY'hat amount of extraordina ry expenses have been paid by the State during the period ? Very respectfully, Yours, GALCSHA A. GROW, Auditor General's Office, llarrisburg, Aug. 6, 1868.—Hon. G. A. Grow, chairman, Ac.: Dear Sir * In answer to yours of the 4th instant, I annex statement of public debt at the close of the fiscal year 1860, and at this date : Total State Debt, Nov 30, 1860 $36,979,847,50 Total State Debt, Aug. 6, 1868. 83,651,637,47 Of this amount the interest is stopped on $851,641,13, and the amount redeema ble on presentation, the funds being on band for its payment. The lax on real and personal estate has been reduced as follows : The net amount charged to the counties annually front 1862 to 1865, was $1,657,304.33 Tie net amount cliaigeable to the counties annually for 1860, 1867, and 1868, 313,222.10 Annual reduction, $1,344,092.14 Extraordinary expenses to a large ain't have been paid during these years for mil itary services, Ac., the items of which you will find in the annual reports front this office from 1861 to 1867, inclusive. Respectfully yours, J. F. HARTRANFT, Auditor General. This looks very well on paper, but un fortunately for General Unrtraoft and Mr. j Grow, the public lecords show that the Radical party, instead ot applying the peo ple's money to the the btate debt, have squandered it for other pur poses. Gov. Geary, in his last annual message, states that the total Stale debt in 1860 was $35,622,052.16 Auditor General Uartranft, in his annual report for 1867, says that the amount m the treasury on the oOih ol November 1867, "applicable to payment of balance of overdue loans,' was $2,937,978.55. Now, if during the intervening year, from 3Uth of Nov. 1866 to the 30th Nov. 1867, the Radicals had not increased the State debt, it would have stood at the latter date at the precise sum of $32,684,073.71, which we arrive at thus : Slate debt Nov. 30, 1866, $35,622,052.16 Deduct balance in treasury applicable to payment of overdue loans, Nov. 30, 1867. 2,937,978 55 $32,685,078.01 But instead of this sum, the Auditor General Axes the deot on the 30lh ot Nov '67, at $34,760,431.22, and in his reply to Gn>w says that on Aug. 5, '6B it was $33- 651,657.37. Now we have shown that if the debt had not been increased during '67, it would have been but $32,683,073 61 or $967,563.86 less than General iiar tranft says it was on the sth of Aug. '6B, proving that the debt has increased nearly one million since 30th Nov. '66. Bnt we do not stop here. *he Consti tution provides (art. XI, sec. 4 ( for the creation of a Sinking Fund, to be applied to the payment of the principal and inter est of the State debt. In accordance with this provision of the Constitution, the Democratic Legislature of 1858, euacted a law providing for the creation of a Sink ing Fund. It is this enactment that has enabled the Radicals to do what little they have done toward paying off the debt and to dispense with the tax on real es tate. If they had carried it out faithfully and honestly, as will be shown, they could by this time, have cancelled the entire debt of the Slate. This act (see Furdon's Digest, page 914) provides as follows : "For the purpose of paying the present indebtedness and the interest thereon, and such further indebtedness as may hereaf tef be contracted on the part of the Com monwealth, the following revenues and incomes are hereby specifically appropria- ted and set apart, to wit : The net annual income of the public works that now are, or may hereafter be owned by the Com monwealth, and the proceeds of the sale of the same heretofore made and yet re maining due or hereafter made, and the income or proceeds of sale of stocks own ed by the State, and all revenues derived from the following sources, to wit : From bank charters and dividends. Taxes assessed on corporations and all the sources of revenue connected there with. The tax on taverns, eating houses, res taurants, distilleries, breweries, retailers, pedlars, brokers, theatres, circusses, billiard and bowling saloons, ten pen alleys and patent medicine licenses. On theatrical, circus and menagerie ex hibitions. On auction commissions and duties. On writs, wills, deeds, mortgages, let ters of attorney and all instruments of writing entered of record on which a tax is assessed. On public officers and all others on whom a tax is levied. On foreign insurance companies. On enrollment of laws. On pamphlet laws. On loans or money at interest. All fines, forfeitures or penalties. Revenues derived front the public lands. The excess of militia tax over expendi tures. Militia tax. Tonnage tax paid by railroads. Escheats. Collateral inheritance tax. Accrued interest. Refunded cash, and ail gifts, grants of bequests, or the revenue deriverl there from, that may be made to the State, and not otherwise directed." The receipts at the Treasury ftom these sources, as per the statements of the aud itor general's office, from iB6O to 1887 in elusive foot up to the enormous sum of TAEN'IY FIVE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FORI'Y SEVEN* THOUSAND, SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY ONE DOLLARS. We give the receipts for each year as follows: 1860 $2,028,044.84 1861 1,714,002.88 1862 2,432,430.16 1863 2,501,181.13 1864 3,097,978.68 1865 4,251,965.76 1866 4,237,915.54 1867 6,024,232.01 525,347,751 00 Now, these twenty five millions and up wards ought, under tltc law, to have gone into the Sinking Fund, and to have been applied to the ieduction of the State debt. It'they did not go there and were not so applied, where did they go and to what were they applied ? This is a question which the people will ask the Radical State officials, and to which they will demand an honest and straight forward answer. Substrain this utn from the amount of the State debt as it stood in iB6O, and in stead ot $33,651,637.47, which, according to General liartranft, is the sum of the debt at present, there would remain but $12,622,096.50, thus ; Sta'e debt in 1860 $37,969,847.50 Amount set apait lor sink ing tund since 1800 25.347,751.00 $12,622,096.50 Instead of this, General liartranft assures us that during the eight years of Radical administration, the debt has been decreas ed but $4,218 207.03, showing that up wards ofTWKN I'Y ONE MILLIONS of the receipts of the sinking fund have been used for other purposes than the reduc tion of the State debt. YN ill somebody ex plain what those purposes were and whith er those twenty one millions have gone ? Meanwhile, let it be remembered that from taxes upon personal and real estate, from war loans, from payment by the Uni ted States, and from other sources of rev enue, as per reports of the auditor gener al's office, there wfcre received at the treas ury since 1860, $13,107,531 91. Add this sum to that which should have beet) set apart for the Sinking Fund, and we htvc a total of receipts at the Treasury, exclu sive of loans, since 1860, of $38,455,282.91. The war loan under the acts of April 12 and May 15, 1861, increased these receipts to $41,930,282,91, or to nearly double the amount of the State debt in iB6O. Out ot these teceipts of nearly SIXTY FIVE MILLIONS, not quite four and a half millions have been filtered into tho Sink ing Fund for the reduction of the State debt! General liartranft informs Mr. Grow thst "the interest is stopped on $851,641.- 13 of the State debt." But lie conveni ently forgets to state that upon the bulk of the debt the rate ot interest has been in creased from and sto 6 per cent. For merly the greater portion of the State loan was at 5 and 4$ pT cent, interest. Now $25,311,180 ot these loans ATE at 6 per rent, slowing an increase of interest upoo that sum payable annually by the State of $253,111,80. The yearly interest at 6 per cent, on $851,641.13. now exempt is $51,098.46. This thows what the State gains by Radical financiering, thus: Loss to the Slate per annum by increase of interest on loans, $153,11180 Gain to the State per annum by exemption of $851,641.- 13 from interest, 51,098.46 Net loss to the State per an., $202,013.34 Such is the record of the financial oper ation* of our State government ander Rad ical au piees. Let the public draw its own condnsious.--i/AM&F , £ Patriot., JACOBIN LITERATURE IN DOG DAYS. Jnly and Angust are the months in which dogs and cats commonly go mad. Ono who reads the Jacobin newspaper concerns during these months, will perceivo the verification of this fact in a great deal of frothing about Horatio Seymour, He will learn therefrom many thitrgs about Horatio Seymoua that no one ever learned before. He will learn that Horatio Seymour was born with double rows of teeth; and that his first lively performance was to bite off the nurse's little finger because she had a brother in the army. That he grew up a deceitful young ras cal, who bamboozled "g..od little HOY®" in to the belief that swallows might be caught be caught by putting Onondago salt on their tails That he cut the throats of six school fel lows, extracted their livers and sold them to a sausage-maker That he studied law becuse lawyers suc ceeded better in rascality than any other people, excepting those who get war con tracts or places in the revenue service. That he joined the church in order to gratify a personal grudge against the wor thy rector, whom be afterwards drowned in the Herkimer river, by tying a large stone to his neck. That he is "a sneaking, deceitful, spe cious, heartless, adroit," unscrupulous, conscienceless, guileful, jt'ggling, insidious designing, faithless, double-tongued dis simulating, hypocritical, perjure, kanvi-h, cozening, subtle, obdurate, base, profligate, conupt, brutal, unrighteous, atrocious, abominable, unmitigated, damnable, and improper "villian," —one of your praying, canting," Ac, &c., "rascals, who with an insatiable,', See., &c., <&c., "appetite for evil," &c., &c., dec, "never had the cour age to do bad,'' 4cc., Ac, Ac., "act with a defiant Itont; but who < ndeavors to purge himself and deceive," <fcc., &c., See., See., "the world by sniveling," whining, cater wauling, See, See., kc., "his prayers to Heaven, in which he does not beiieve as an offset to the infamy," <bc, dec., Ac., Ac., Ac , "of which he is full." That he entered into a conspiracy with S. J. Tilden, Jeff. Dafis, Belle Boyd and lleDry Clay Dean to mtn-der A. Lincoln and desecrate the grave of Ann Rulledge, "six miles north bearing a litile west, of New Sclem;" and that he never forgave YVilkes Booth for intetering and and spoil ing his nice little arrangement. That he is crazy—crazy as a looff, as a March hare, as a bed bug—in brief, as crazy as General Sherman was when he said the rebellion could not be put down by an atmy of seventy five thousand n)en; and that the very wondctftil "mtthod in his madness" is proof positive that he ex pects to be more crazy. That he is the identical red-handed re bel who fired the first gun; who tote down the Federal fins; who was alluded by Gefr. Dix when he said, "shoot him on the spot*" who starved Federal prisoners at Anrier sonville; who would not send troops to the rescue of Pernisyhvanm when she was ih vaded; who played the devil generally at Fort l'illow; who set fire to a New York orphan asylum; who seduced Grant to take his first drink; who dared to express | opinion that Mr. Lincoln was not the Gov-! eminent; who declined to become on e Mr®. Government's dear friends by presenting her with camel's hair shawl; who raised an objection to Mr. Seward's little bell; wlio 1 said the laws ought to be obeyed alike by rulers artd people; and who was guilty of unpardonable treason in setting an illustri ous example of obedience and patriotic de votion of the civil law, as Governor of New Y. rk. These aTe some of the surprising things that people who read Jacobin newspaper concerns during the dog-days will learn concerning Mr. Seymour. The list need not be continued, because it will be found intxtenso in all the Ja cobin prints, to the exclusion of nvYelr more important and interesting matter. — Chicago Times. # • • • • ■.<)*'! A SCHOOL BOY'S COMPOSITION. Corn are of two kinds. Vegetable and animal. Vegetable corn grows in rows and animal corn on toes. There is unicorn, Capricorn, corn-dodgers, field born, and toe corn, which is the corn you feel the most. It is said, I believe, that gophers like corn; but persons having corns don't like to "go far," if they can help it. Corns have ker nels, and some colonels corns. Vegetable corn grows on ears, but animal corn grows on the feet at the other end of the body. Another kind of corn is acorn; these grow on oaks, but there is a h<>ax about the corn The acorn is a corn with an indefinite ar article, indeed. Try it and see. Many a man when be has a corn, wishes it was an acorn. Folks that have corns sometimes send for a Doctor himself is corned, he would probably do so well as if he isn't The doctors say corns are produce by tight boots or shoes, which is probably the reason why when a man is tight they say he is corned. If a farmer manages well he can get a good deal of corn on one acre, bnt I know a faimer that has one eorri that makes the biggest acher on his farm. The biggest crop of vegetable corn a man rais es the better lie likes it, bnt the biggest crop of auimal corn he raise* the he does not like it. Another kind of corn is corn dodger. The way it is very simple, and it is as follows (that is if you want to know): You go along a street and meet a man you know has corns, and is a rough char acter, then you step on the toe yon know has the corn on it, and see if* you tion't have oe,ttasion to dodge. In that way yon will fod oat what COCO dodger is. . TERMS, $2,00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance Pise auto {njudnue.- j w i. The auctioneer's epitaph Gone f The photographer's Tukeff ffott life $ A Floral Swell—The dandelion—the liort that lamhs are not alraid of. A Vocalist says he coulcf sing "Way down old Tar River," if he could only get the PITCLI. .*■ , j - An editor describing a church in Minneso ta, says :—"No velvet cushions in our pews; we dou't go in fur style. The fattest person has the softest seat." _ WHATS AND WHENS. — What is the differ-, ence between a school master and a railroad conductor ? One trains the mind and the other minds the train. What is that which is perfect with a head, perfect without a head, perfect wilh a tail, perfect without a tail j perfect with both head and tail, perfect without either head of< tatf ?T-,A wrg. ~ "1 ' , What is everybody doing at the same time? Growing older. What is the worst seat to hold one up ? Self-conceit. When y< u see a small waist, remembhr the efeat wrfste of health it costs.' When is a carpenter like a circumstance 1 When he alters cases, •r. • : Query.—Dues a miller ever fFina his teeth ? A lady gives her exdnsaf for usinga a parasol iD these words, "I raise my parseo!" to PARKY SOL'S rays. The water cure's no new invention," old Mrs. Smith, when slie was advised tp " try the remedy ; "it's f# old j>s. the deluge 1 , and even then it killed more than it cured," How TO Coo* A Goort: —■Snspecd yoorseff' in front of a brisk fire, and revolve carefully and regulaTty until you are done brown. Why are young widows liko a band ofj Ethiopian minstrels ? Because they do not stay long in black. Why is the £bild of the Empress Eugenie like the tail end of a herring f Because it is the last oF the BONY-PART, - A FRENCH HISBANB.— AbrOpTos of the" conjugal relation in Prance, the FIGARO tells this horrible anecdote : Madame X. was dying. j Her husband pnd sister were seated at the bedside. r. I The sister wept. The husband motionless t his fa*d bowetf down, his eyes fired on aorbed in grief. All at once, without throwing off the leths argy in which he was'wrapt, he addressed the sister of his wife. "Marguerite," said he, "do you .fincw th address of Madame t" "No ; why do f'ou ask ?" "Oh. nothing, 'twas only that I was think ing over the list of people to be invited to t! funeral, and.l did'nt wish to forget her." "Oh ! Angelina," said a young horticultur ist to his love one evening, "if you could on ly see my Isabella:. llow each day she de velopes new beamtics—ao beauiiful— hanging • over me so tenderly—no honey ao sweet to the taste." . )'. '* * Angelina, fell to the tloor like a flatiron. ( "Vidian," she cried, "you love another 1" and swooned away. "Oh ! I have killed her !" exclaimed tho you horticulturist, jumping up and wringing his hands. "Oh, Angelina— don't—don't 1 — Tsu uiusn't for tho world, Angelina—l did'nt mean it—l only meant the grapevine 1" An- 1 gelina recovered. An exchange gives the^fullowing recipe for killing fleas. Place the ferocious animal on a smooth board and pen him in with a hedge of shoemakers wax. Then, as soon as hot; becomes quiet, commence reading to h<m the doings of Congress, and he will burst with indignation, .— — —— ' • : i I . .1 . -1 ' 'Toes the dentist kiss you when he pull* your teeth, pa ?" , f '•No, my son, why V "Oh, nothing, only he kissed ma", and she said it took the ache all away ; and I guess it did, for she laughed all the way home." An Irishman, fresh from Flibernia, caught a bumblebee in his hand, supjiosing it.to be m hummingbird. "Och," he exelwined, "how hot his fut ic !" i - ■* ■ • i','' 1 If you ar a lovec, d<m t love two girls at. once. Love is a good thing, but it is like butter in warm weather—it w.°n't do to have too much on hand at one time. The fall style of pants for gents (those fbr ladies not yet determined opon) is to be •mailer jet. To go instead of outside of the akin. ' * . - i —-*** - Who ever heard of a woman with pretty ankles and wbole stockings complain of wet ! Sidewalks or muddy crossings i ' NO. 5.,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers