HARVEY SICXLER, Publisher.
VOL. VIII.
PPMITIG PNNOMIT
A Democratic weekly _ __
paper devoted to Poll t Ol
eics News, the Arts j
sad Sciences Ac. Pub
lished every W'aJnes- s*
day, at Tunkhannock "
Wyoming County, Pa ' ' \ i j__[ '
BY HARVEY SICKLER J&FSS - 1
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not d within six months, a'2.jo will be charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, UDtil all ar
-1 rt ingests paid; unless at the option of publisher.
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TEN LINKS COSSTITI'TK A SQIAHK.
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Every subsequent insertion less tffau 8 00
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AIIV KKTISIXG, as tnav be agreed upon,
PATKNT MEDICINES and other advertisements oy
the column :
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Half column, 1 year-.. 25
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth column, 1 year, '2O
Business Cards of one square or less, per year
with paper, SB.
|.i?f EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with
out Advertisement—ls ets. per liue. Liberal terms
made with permanent advertisers .
EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS AND AUDI
fOIt'S NOTICES, of the u-ual length, v2,">u
OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten lip s, each; KELI
GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
ntcrest, one half tne regular rates.
A ivortisements must be banded in bv Tt'ES
DAV NO ox, to iusure insertion the same we^k.
jon WORK
sf ill kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit
the times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
HOKK must be paid for, when ordered
Bus in ess $o t i res.
D K. At W 8 LITTLE ATTORNEYS AT
1k LAW Oihce on Tioga Street l'unkh.uinocfc l a
KS t'OOPEK, PilYSiCl VN & S( KUEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
.v rrrXtatisiu ~vri g-NEY AT LAW.
L/ Utii c at the Court in Tuukhun-jck
I] :# i., Co. Pa.
Ul. .U. I'Tt'lTTl It 1..N1.1 Ai Lav. ttf
fice in Stark's Brisk Block ft -ga St., Taut
rcroi k, l'a."
j v j ciiasET~ATTORNIA AN'IM or N.-EL
a . L'|R Al' LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, l'a
ta r cci.il attention gr.en to settlement ef ucce
dent's estates
Y kolau*, Pa. Dec. 5, IC,,T1 C ,,T -vT-ilß.'l
\ ATI'O. NKY AT L*kW. Col
.!• Itcting and Real L.-tate A D oi.t. lotva l. nds
;.i sale. Sc-ranton, Pa. Se'ft.
i wTKHOADS, PHYSICIAN A SUR
J. mil attend ptuinptly to all calls in his pro
'.-•-iuc. May be loui-cl at l.i-Utiice at the Drug
Mme, or a; his residence on l'uluiau sreet, lonueriy
. spied by A. k Beckham F-q.
SENTISTRf. 7 : vi -rTv
/Ait.-" 'A
-j- h
S.l'_ M W-V*.
'
Ta T. BURNS ha? peru.ubu?i> !•-. ;.tc I in
Tunkha&nocli Borough, and respectfully tenders
pr>ite.N*ioDal Ferviee? lu it." citizen*.
■Mfice aQ Fecund Hour, formsrly occupied by Dr.
I man.
*6O3OTF.
>OBTRAiT, LAMBSSAFE,
0 E EF £ MUTT TIL
TPYVTINRTXRVRO.
liy If'. 'ItZ'GL'/t, Artist.
f.' tn over the Wyoming National bunk,in Stark's
1 .s block,
TUNKHANNOCK, I'A.
!. ?■• z Portraits painted from Amb'oty;•••. or
1 graphs Photographs Painted in Oilt'i lors
A r ler. for paintings en a uted according to or
r no charge made.
iV Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching,
' crait -in.l Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
I -- and HI all branches of tiie art,
■unit. July 31, "j;" -vgnso-tf.
IIL KFORi) HOUSE.
~NKHANNOCK. WYOMING CO., PA.
rni< ESTABLISHMENT HAS RECENTLY
I ac n refine 1 inl furnished in the late-t style,
ifv sttentn n will lie given to the comfort and
' '■ ctijc ot those who patronize the 11.. u- -.
11. lIUFFORD Proprietor,
lajkhannoek, Pa., June 17, l~b8 —v 7041.
BOLTON HOUSE.
llAltlUSlt riUi, I'ENNA.
The undersigned having lately purebnsed the
• ! KIILER HOC-E " property, has already com-
Ht eil-u h alterations and iiuprovcments as will
' '' .-nll an 1 popular House equal, if not supc
' t" am Hotel in the City of Harrishurg.
A oia;.. e of the public patronage is refpect
■ ; Sa.i-.itcd.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
TI K, W YOJIISG CO., I'A.
'IB establishinent has recently been refitted an
el in the latest style Everv attention
-ien to the comfort and convenience ol those
- 1 a*r-niie the House. :
T. B WALL. Owner and Proprietor'.
September 11, 1861.
MEANS' HOTEL.
TOWAJXTDA. RA..
B. BAKTLKT,
"BnAf.AltD IlolSl, lil.il 111 A, N. Y.
PUOI'KIKTOiI.
MEANS HOTEL, i-one of the LARGEST
ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
, 1 'P 'n the most modern and improved style
■y pains are spared to make it a pleasantaud
' 'hipping p[ace for all,
'stidl-ly.
FOR SALE CHEAP,
fS,pKiNG W AGONS,
i CAMPBELLS', Tunkhsnnock,
iM.tl.
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY, AUG. 5, 1868.
iOctricks Column.
Spring Trade for '6B
Will open on or about the Ist of May,
AT TUIHAKNOIX PEI'A.
if -°-
O. Detrick.,
(srccEsson TO BCXSELL A BASNATYNE,)
)
, Proposes to establish himself permanently
y in trade at this place, at the Brick
store house in Sam'l Stark's Block,
where by fair dealing and fair
r
prices he expects to met it and
receive the public patronage.
a
I :o:
1
Attention is called to the following in
Dry Goods :
%
5 SILKS,
POPLIXS,
ALPACAS,
1 LUSTRES,
DELAINES.
GINGH \MS,
PRINTS,
SHAWLS,
INDIES' S.U (IITINOR,
DRESS TRIMMINGS,
BLEACHED AND BROWN MUSLINS,
CLOTHS AND CAS3IMLKES
GENTS' FUR N I SUING GOODS
TOILET ARTICLES.
NOTIONS, AC.
Groceries.
SUGAR,
TEA,
COFFEE,
MOLASSES,
RICE,
SYRUP,
CANDLES,
SOAP,
STARCH,
FLOUR,
FEED,
SALT,
PORK,
BUTTER,
CHEESE,
DRIED BEEF,
HAMS, .
FISII of all kind?,
1
BEANS,
' ! AC., AC.,
Hard ware,
A FULL ASSORTMENT.
Cutlery
OF ALL KINDS,
, MEN'S AND BOYS'
Hats and Caps.
Boots <y Shoes,
A FULL ASSORTMENT.
This branch of business innde a sociality. A lot of
1 SEWED ARMY SHOES,
A GREAT BARGAIN,
i SOLE LEATHER.
CROC KER V,
STONE,
WOOD A\'l>
TINWARE.
i in great variety.
All kinds of Produce taken iu exchange for Goods
The above articles will be kept in full assortment.
I mean to make the cxferiuient of goods fold in
quantites cheapor than ever lefore in Ibis vtciuity,
I shall be bappy to see you, and you can depend up
on Coding bargains In every ucpartment. Goods re
ceived every week.
Respectfully yours,
1 C. I>J£Ts/CA.
THE JUDGE, THE DETECTIVE, AND
THE SILVER TEA-POT.
Mr. Justice Mullen, of the Supreme
i Court of Now York, is distinguished for
great simplicity of manner and superior
i abilities as a Judge. The exigencies of ju
dicial business frequently demanded his
presence iu this district. On a recent vis
it he brought with him a valuable silver
tea pot needing a little repair, and requiring
nicer manipulation than was obtainable at
his rural residence. On leaving the St.
Nicholas Hotel, where he was stopping, he
did precisely what he would have done at
home—took the pot ir. his hand to carry
!to the silversmith. On coming out of the
door, however, lie thought he would slip it
under his overcoat, which he did, but did
it just at the moment a detective happen to
be passing, who noticed the movement,
and thought he would "pipe" the old gent
After doing this a few rods, and noticing
that the party frequently ca-t furtive glan
c< s at different objects, he became sati-fie.l
that that the put must have been purloined
from the hotel. lie therefore quietly tapp
ed the judge on the shoulder and said:
"I want you !"
"For what sir!"
'•Oh you know ! Just you come along
with me !*'
"Come a'ong with you ! What do you
mean ?" slightly indignant.
"Oh, no use to tiy that on me; you come
quietly to the station house, that's all!
That tea pot under your coat —you under
stand ? '
"Why" (assuming a more decided tone)
"that's my tea pot."
"Oh, certainly ? by all means ! of course
it's your tea pot: won't do though; that
dodge is played out; come along, don't
bother!"
Here the justice stopped and said:
"Sir, I am Justice Mullen, of the Supreme
Court. I don't know fon, nor what you
ttieau, and don't don't wish to he anoyed."
"You Justice Mullen T Oh, certainly!
no doubt about that ! of course you're Jus j
tice Mullen ! Justices of the Supreme Cotut
are always goin<j down Broadway with sil
ver te.a pots under their coats —always do
ing that sort of thing ! But that cock won't
fight; so come along, or i'il make short
Work with you."
"Look lu re, sir." said the Judge, "here j
is an establishment" (pointing to the store ;
in fiont of which they stoyd j "the propri
etor of wh eh will at once mdentfy me, and
stop this farce."
"All right, go in !"
In they walked, but unfortunately the
proprii tor was out. Detective, becoming
impatient, said:
"Do any of you know this fellow ?"
Not being recognized by any one of the
clerical foice, the officer thinking there had
been to much "talkee, talkce" already in
sisted tipou a prompt compliance with his
requi-dion, llis Honor saw the rcdiculious
predicament he was in, and at once pro
posed going to the hotel, where his indent
ity could he promptly established. Detec
tive, sure he had "nipped" an old and adroit
offender, and thinking it might perhaps he ;
w ell to restore the tea pot to the owner,
aud then have his light-fingered friend
committed, acquiesced, and accompanied
the "hotel tin*if' to the St, Nicholas. The
sequel can be bettei imagined than written.
A cheaper looking, a cheaper feeling indi
vidual than the "expert," it would he dffi
cult to find. He is familinrv alluded to as
"Juslic Mullen," but he don't like it much.
HEALTHY CLIMATE. —Dan Marble was
once strolling along the wharves of Boston,
when he met a tail, gaunt looking figure, a
"diggers"from California, aud got iut con
versation with him.
"Healthy climate, I suppose ?" •
"Healthy! it ain't anything else. Why,
stranger, there you can choose any climate
you like, hot or cold, that too without trav
elin' more than fifteen minutes. Jest
think o' that the next cold niorniu' when
you get out o' bed. There's a mountain
there, the Sary Navady they call it, with
a valley on each side of it, one hot and one
cold. W ell, get on the tup of that moun
tain with a double-barrel gun, and you can,
without inovin,'kill either summer or win
ter game, jest as you wish !"
"W hat! have you tried it?"
"'lricd it! often; and should have done
pretty well, hut fur one thing ?"
"Well, what was that? '
"I wanted a dog that would stand both
climates. The last dog 1 had froze his
off while pintin' on the summer side. He
didn't get entirely out of the winter side,
you see—true as you live.
a*. -
I MRS. PARTINGTONS COMPLAINT. —"La
! me!' sighed Mrs. Partington,"here I have
been snflerin' the bigamies of death three
mortal weeks. I was seized witli a bleed
ing phrenology in the left hemisphere of
the brain, which was exceeded by a stop
page of the left ventilator of the heart.
This gave me an inflammation of the borax,
and now I'm sick with the chloroform mor
' bus. 'flier's no blessin' like that of health,
particularly when you're sick."
witness in court who had been
cautioned to give a precise answer to ev
ery question, and not to talk about what
he might think the question meant' was
interrogated as follows :
"You drive a wagon ?"
"No, sir, 1 do not."
"Why man d d you not tell my learned
friend so this moment ?"
"No. sir, I did not.,
"Now, sir, I put it to yon on your oath,
do you not drive a wagon ?"
"No, sir."
"What is your occupation, then ?"
"I drive * horse, sir."
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
THINGS A MAN CAN T DO.
"Jennie T. ITazen, " in the Chicagnnn,
says there are some things a man can't do
as follows :
Some women in a sudden burst of in
genuousness, has acknowledged that there
are some things which a woman can't do
and expresses unbounded admiration for
the man who do these things so deftly.
Well, what if they can do two or three
things better than a woman ? I for one
am not going into ecstacies over them, nor
will I make a standing exclamation point
of myself because thev can " do up a bun
dle arid carry an umbrella.
Woman can do a hundred things that
they can't but they never think of making
a fuss over it.
One thing a man can't do is to own up
frankly that be can't do everything better
than a woman can. Another thing be
can't do is, to carry " the babv, " I've
tried tln-m and I know. You just take
one—i babv I mean — and "do it up" in
blankets and shawls, all snug and nice, and
give it to Joseph to carry ; and while you
are putting on your sacquc and hat just
keep your eye on the baby, and you will
see an ominous squiiming in the bundle,
aud hear certain half smothered but to
you well uiidt-rstood-souuds. Upon inves
tigation you will find the baby very red
in the face, and its heels where its bead
ought to be. Yon take it and shake it up
a little, give it a soft pat here and there,
and restore it to him " right side up."
Will he acknowledge it was his fault 1
will lie confess that he didn't know how
to earrv that babv? no' a bit of it. He
will insist that you gave it to hi:n wrong
si le up. or that it was the proper mode of
carrying a baby.
Thirdly, as our parson used to say, j
about the time that lie ought to have said j
" seventeen!hly and lastly " —he can't j
hook up a lady's dress ; at least he couldn't;
years ago when ladies wore them hooked
up in the back. There was three or four j
hooks and eyes that I couldn't reach, and :
times without number I've called upon
"my John "to honk them. The good
clumsy fellow would fumble away with
lingers that were all thumbs, while he
grew red in the face with his efforts to
make the " plagued things hitch," giving
it up at la>t with, " Hang the things!—
Why d<>n'i y u have buttons as we do ? "
Let me think! What else is there he
can't do? He can't make tatting, or
crochet; lie can't wear crinoline, nor man
age two yards of trail; he can't wear a
" love of a bonnet, " or a balmoral boot;
and last and best of all ite can't say " no ! "
to an offer of marriage and that's the
blvesedest privilege we woman have.
ROMANCE OP A RING.
The following story of infatuated love
for a sprangled knight of the sawdust ring
is told by a western paper:
Some time since a lovely and highly
educated daughter of a clergyman in Al
bany, New York, disappeared from her
home, and no trace of her could be found.
A friend of the family at Quincy, Illinois,
w hen Yankee Robinson's circus was ex
hibiting there, discovered the girl in the
ballet troupe of the ciaeus, going through
the evolutions of" Undine.' The gen
tleman immediately telegraphed to the
girl's father, who came on, aud met the
circus in another town, and found his
daughter was really there. He discover
ed also, that the girl, who had been at
boarding school, had become infatuated
with tinsel o! the circus-ring rider, had
eloped with him upon ths stage for a liv
ing. The father met the daughter and
entreated -her to leave the troupe and go
home with him, promising that all should
be forgiven. 'J he girl readily consented
if her husband could go with her, hut one
of the provisions was that she should leave
him. This she refused to do, preferring
to cling to her husband and the Mage
rather then to enjoy the comforts ot a
home at Albany. The distress of the
father was not sufficient to overcome his
prejudices against the husband, and as
the tears and entreaties were unavailing,
Le was forced to leave his daughter in the
exciting life she had chosen, and return
sorrowfully home. Mr. Robinson pictur
ed to the girl the vicissitude of the life
she was leading, and advised her to fol
low the advice of her father, but she per
sistently refused, declaring that nothing
would iuduse her to desert ber husband.
She is described as a girl of striking beau
ty, not yet twenty years of age, very mod
est in ber demeanor, but completely full
of the romance of life, and infatuated by
the cheap dazzle of the ting. Her hus
band is a young man of sober and indus
trious habits and an excellent performer.
DON'T RE A LOBSTER ! —Your lobster,
when left a high and dry among the rocks
lias not sense and energy enough to work
his way back to the sea, but waits for the
sea to come to him. If H does not come,
he remains where he is and dies, although
the slightest exertion would enable him
to reach tho waves which are, perhaps
tossing and tumbling within a yard of
him There is a tide in human affairs
that cast men into " tight places, " and
leaves them there, like standard lobsters.
Jf they choose to be where the breakers
have flung them, expecting some grand
billow to take them on its shoulder and
carry them back to smooth water, the
chances arc that their hopes will never
be real zed. Nor is it right they should
he. The social element ought net to be
expected to help him who makes uo effort
to helf himself.
" INJUNS AfcOUT."
A Texan correspondent of the New Or
leans Picayune, tells a good story in one
, of his letters, " a stirly-faced, grizzly-hair
ed, cuffy and moon-eyed chap," who per
secuted a certain roguish damsel with his
attentions, but was finally thrown off the
course of true love, by the following ruse :
It being the watermelon season, and
Betty's father having a fine supply, all the
youngsters for miles around, assembled
there on the holiday, to feast on melons.
C. was prominent in the circle, till the
afternoon. Betty held private interviews
with the other young men, and arranged
that C. should be decoyed from the house,
and frightened by the cry of Indians
from some of his comrades, which was
thought would wound his pride and drive
him away.
Five young men with C. walked out.—
A bathe in the river, three hundred
yards distant, was proposed by one, and
seconded by several. Of course poor C,
was " in."
They went down to the ford, near the
melon patch, and began undressing. In
the meantime eight or ten others, with
guns, hud gone down under cover of the
bank, arid secreted themselves along the
path, from the bathing-place to the house.
" Now , bovs, " said one " who shall be
the first to dive in that "ere pool ? "
" I'd says C.; " ain't I first with the
gals/"
Off went pants, coats, shoes Ac. Just
as C. hid doffed everything, barring a
long flannel shirt —bang! bang! bang!
VVho-wo-yeh ! Bang ! went two, three,
tour guns—loud and shrill went the Indi
an yell in the dease brush, and now under
the bank,
"O, Lord ! lam a dead man, boys !"
said James Simpson.
'•My leg is broken. O, save me! "
cried George Williams.
"Hun for life men ! Run—for mercy
sake run !" cried Jack Parsons.
•' One of my eyes is out! " all being
said in an instant.
Do you see that red blaze along the
path ? Look a moment—what velocity !
That jagged liaii all straightened behind—
that's C, a streaking it for the house,
shirt and all. See him about the corner
of the field, by the thicket. Bang —bang
went half a dozen pieces ; louder than
ever, rose the hideous war cry.
" O, Loid ! " shouted C„ redoubling his
speed—the red blaze getting larger—
bunches of his bushy hair dropping out as
he " spread himselt." See him leap tin
yard fence —high in the air—red shirt
and all.
The porch was full of ladies—off went
two oi three more pieces. C. glanced at
the ladies then at his short red shirt.
" Run for your life, C., " screamed
Bettythe house is full of Indians!
Father's dead and brother Sam is wound
ed. Run, speed ! "
In a twinkling of an eye C. was out of
the yard ; and supposing the premises sur
rounded, off"be shot, the red blaze more
brilliant than ever, and striking directly
into a thicket, thorny bottom, lie reached
and swair the river; and although it was
near ?unset, C. got into a settlement fifty
miles distant, to breakfast next morning
still retaining the sleeves and collar of bis
red shirt, and reporting all the family
visitors, kc., among the slain. As for
hiutself, he said he fought as long as fight
iug would do any good.
It is uunecessary to inform von dear
reader, whether or not Betty was troub
led with C. alter that snap.
THE FLOW OF LAVA.— Baynard Taylor
writes from St. Vesuvius : " I had al
ways imagined a thick, sluggish stream,
with a tolerably smooth surface, some
thing like the flow of a melting furnace
but here were moving mounds rough and
shapeless, the chief power ot which lav in
their base hidden (rom sight— strange
creeping, mining forces, moving forward
with a horrible, pitiless certainty in their
locomotion, If the scene was less grand
in its features than one would expect, it
was at least diabolically impressive. It
expressed only destruction, and that of
the most cold-blooded, deliberate kind.—
The main stream had raised a ridge some
twenty feet in height, apparently cold on
the surface, tint 1 some squirming move
ment in advance shook off the crust in
scales, and showed the fangs and thioat of
the intensest tire. The Iront of this ridge,
was constantly hurling masses, some of
them dowuthe gorge. The nearer stream
was not more than four feet in height, and
allowed us to approach near enough to
poke it with a stick. Ail along the
edge, boys, were busy roasting eggs for
travelers, or embedding coins in the fluid
lava, which tliey snatched out of the mass
and twisted off, very much as I have seen
children manage molasses candy. The
heat, even at a hundred yards distance,
was uncomfortable, and I could not stand
beside the moving lava for more than a
few seconds at a time."
(J3T The aggregate shooting of the fes
tive gentlemen who are at present burning
powder in Jones' Wood, is about fifteen
hundred ball cartridges per day. As to
each shot fifteen glasses of lager beer is
spilled it follows that the shooters alone
dispose of upwards of twenty-two thous
and drinks during the hours devoted by
them to boring holes in targets.
" Westward, bo ! " exclaims a western
exchange. We should say a fellow might
as well hoe westward as eastward, since he
has got to dig for a living wherever he
may be.
HOW GOOD TEMPLARS INITIATE
CANDIDATES.
The following must have been written bv
a chap who got tight on lager without
knowing it would intoxicate. It refers to
a lodge of Good Templars. It is a graphic
description of an "initiation ceremony," as
the writer understands it:
! In the first place, the victim for initia
tion is blindfolded, bound hands and feet,
avid thrown into a caldron of boiling hot
: rain water, and boiled for five minutes.
Tbis is done for the purpose of clearing
his system of "old drunk.', lie is then ta
! ken out of the caldron, and by mean of a
| force-pump gorged with cistern water, af
, tor which a sealing plaster is put over his
month, and he is rolled in a barrel four or
: five times across the room.
The choir at the same time singing the
j cold water song.
lie is now taken out of the barrel, and
bung up by the heels till the water runs
| out through his ears.
He is then cut down, and a beautiful
young lady hands him a glass of cistern
water.
A cold-water bath is then furnished
him, after which he is showered with cis
terned water.
He is then made to read the # water-works'
act ten fimes, drinking a glass of cistern
water between each reading.
After which the "old oaken bucket" is
hung around his neck, and fifteen sisters
with squirt-guns deluge him with cistern
water.
He is then forced to eat a peck of snow
white the brothers stick his ears full of ice
cles.
He is then run through a clothes-wringer,
after which lie is handed a glass of cistern
water bv a beauteful young lady.
He is then g-rgc i agai i wi:h cistern wa
ter, his boots filled with the same, and be is
laid away in a refrigerator.
The initiation is now almost concluded.
After remaining in the refrigerator for
the space of a half an hour, he is token out
and given a glass of cistern water, run
through the clothes-wringer again, and be
comes a Good Templar.
Sidewalk Etiquette.
Only villagers, or persons with rural ideas,
any longer contend that 1 .dies shall always
be given the inside of the pavement in pas
sing. The rule adopted in all cities is to
turn to the right wether the right leads to
the wall or gutter, and an observance of
this common sense rule would obviate mncfi '
unpleasant crowding by over gallaut gen
tlemen who persistently crowd for the out
side of the walk. Another common custom
—not required even by fashionable eti
quette, and one which is Dearly as unex
plainable and absurd as the practice of a
w hole string of men filing out of a church
pew, making themselves as rediculous as
an awkwaid squad practicing at "catch
step," in order to give a woman the wiong
end of a pew—is that of a man when at
promenade walk with a lady, to keep him
self on the outside of the pavement. A
little exercise of judgement will convince
any person of the utter uselessness of this
bobbing back and forth at every corner.
The common rule is this : "If a man and
woman are walking together, sne should
always be at his tight artn, whether it be
toward the inside or outside of the walk,
then the woman will not,get shoved against
the passers.- Ex.
The Deserter Act.
The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania
has delivered an opinion declating the de
serter act to be unconstitutional. Tiie
Court say that the act of 18t36, could not
disfranchise a citizen who bad not been
tried and convicted ot desertion, and that
the refusal to receive the vote of one who
bad failed to report, was illegal.
This decision settles the deserter act.
Thus one by one, the contrivances of the
Radicals to prevent a free ballot, are brush
ed away by the Supreme Court, aud the
rights ot the citizen vindicated.
DURING the four years of President
Polk's administration, which included the
Mexican war, the expense* of tiie War De
partment were $90,540,788. The expenses
of that same Department for the year end
ing the Ist of July, 1808, the third year of
peace, aie $128,808,491, or over $38,000,
000 more during one year of peace than
they mere during four years of Democrtaic
rule with the Mexican war on their hands.
Is there any wonder that the cost of living
remains at an oppressive figure to the me
chanics aud laboring classes of the country.
IMPORTANT.—The people wish to know
of the majority in Congress whether the
enotmons amount taken from the Treas
ury to support the Freedmen's Bureau
was for the purpose of bettering the con
dition of the niggers, or to erect them
into a political machine to be controlled
for partisan interests onlv ? The people
want to know of these Radicals why the
army costs §90,000,0C0 last year—s2,ooo
a man—and why they are asked to ele
vate the head of that artny to the Presi
dency? They want to know why the Ex-
I ecutive has been stripped of all his con
stitutional power ?
Callicott, who is serving out his
! sentence in the Albany Penitentiary, is
still Collecor in the Third N. Y. District.
The President has done all in his power
to remove, him, but under the Tenure of-
Office biil the Senate roust concur in the
; suspension, or it amounts to nothing. —
j What possible object has the Senate in re
1 taining a Radical malefactor now in prison
' in an important office ? * .
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
Pise auto pjjerfoiie.
A love that is never reciprocated—A neu
ralgic affection.
-
Why are the letters "oz" like an adver
tisement 1 Because they are for an ounce
meot,
A man from the Auburn prison says h
lost there all his admiration lor auburn
locks.
"Let us remove temptation from the
of youth," as the frog said as he plunged
into the water when he saw a boy pick up a
stone.
An old lady hearing of a pedestrian'#
: 'great feat" wondered why theydid'nt inter
fere with his fast walking.
What is the difference between charky
and a tailor ? The first Covers a multitude
of sms ; the second, a multitude of sinners.
An editor says another twist to the pres
ent mode of doing up the ladies' hair woti'd
take them off their feet.
There is one kind o' ship I always steer
clear of," said an old bachelor sea-captain,"
and that's courtship, cause on that ship
there's always TWO MATES and no captaia."
"Have I not offered . . every auvantage7"
said a doting fa'her to his son, ' Oh, yes," re
plied the youth ; "but I could not think of
taking advantage of my father."
"Mr. Jones," said Mrs. J., with an air of
triumph, "don't you think marriage is a
means of grace ?" "Well, yes," growled
./ones, "I suppose anything is a mean? of
giace that breaks down pride and leads to
repentance."
A little girl having tor the first time no
ticed her shoulder blades, came running irt
one day, and said : "Oh, Aunt Mary, I gueas
I'll be an angel soon, for my wing boues are
beginning to grow."
A veritable story of a youngster who,while
attending Sunday School for the first time,
was a>ked : "Who went into the lion's
den T 1
The child appearing puzzled, the teacher
commenced spelling, to awaken the boy's
memory, "D an—"
"Oh, I know now," exclaimed he 5 "it was
Dan Rice."
Copy of a sign on an aca B eat :
"Freeman &. Ilugg : Freeman teaches the
boys and Iluggs the girls."
INVENTIVE GENIUS.—A Frenchman, who
was boasting of the inventivo genius of his
country, said, "We invented lace ruffles."
"Ay," said a Yankee, "and we added shifts
to them."
STONE TPLITTING.— A man was mafrietf ;
be lost his wife, and had a atone erected
over her grave. He married a second time,
and when she died had the gravestone split,
and it thus served for the two departed. He
proposed to a third, and the lady quaintly
remarked, "I do not believe that stone will
split again."
HARD II EADED. —An old gentleman was
relating a story of one of the St. Lawrence
boatmen. 'Heis a hard head," said he ;
"for he stood under aa oak in a thunder
storm, when the lightning struck the tree,
and he dodged it seveiiteen times, when,find
ing he could not dodge it any longer, he
stood and took nine claps in succession ou
his head, and never flinched."
BORES. —OId gents who sit down in aa
editor's sanctum and read newspapers to
him.
A stuttering man drunk.
A drunken man that does not stutter.
The man who reads all the newspapers,
but never buys one.
A man that wants to borrow money from
you.
Why is a beautiful and fascinating girl
like a butcher ? Because she is a "kili.ng
creature."
On a recent trip of one of the Illinois rivrr
packets—a light draft one, as there was only
two feet of water in the channel—the pas
sengers were startled hy ihe cry of ' Man
; overboard !" The sieamer was stopped, and
; preparations made to save htm, when he was
! heard exclaiming : "Go ahead with your
darned old steamboat ! I'll walk behind
yuu !"
The arm of a pretty girl wound tightly
round your neck has been discovered to be
an infallible remedy in case of sore throat.—
It beats |>epper tea all hollow. %
An editor at a dinner-table being asked if
he would take some pudding, replied in a fit
of abstraction :
"Owing to a crowd of other matter I am
unable to find room for it.
The oldest luuatic 011 record—Time out of.
mind.
NO. 1.