Wyoming democrat. (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, February 26, 1868, Image 1

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    fiDpming Emofrat.
Ppmiitg Bnnocral
A Democratic weekly r
psper devoted to Foil i'tcTfc f
tioe News, the Arts /t Fgq j.'
tnd Sciences Ac. Pub- "
l-sked every W#does
day. at Tunkhannoek f t^F
Wyoming County.Pa ~t \ i f->- ./
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) $2,00 ; if
*>t paid witnin six months, t'2.50 will be charged
NO paper will le DISCONTINUED, unt'l all ar
reangosre paid;'unless at the option of pn'disher.
square one or three insertions $1 50
Every subsequent insertion less than 8 50
ADVERTISING, as in iv be agreed up>n.
PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements oy
the column :
One column, 1 year, S6O
Half column, I year 35
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth column, 1 year, 20
liuslness Cards of one square or les?, per year
with paper, AB.
nr EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertiing—with
out Advertisement —15 ets. per line. Liberal terms
made with permanent advertisers.
TOR'S NOTICES, of usual length, $2,50
OBITUARIES.-exceeding ten lin's, each; RELI
GlOUSantl LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
ntcrest, one half toe regular rales.
rr Advertisements must he handed in hy TrES
SAY NOON, to insure insertion the same week.
f *ll kin Is neatly executed and at prices to suit
the times.
WORK must be paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhannoek Pa
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
s Offi-e at the Court liuusa, in Tunkhannoek
Wyoming Co. Pa
fiee in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
Bannock, Pa
LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa
Especial attention given tu settlement ot dec.e
deal's estates
Nicholson, Pa. Dsc 5, l?(j7—v7nl9yl
. will attend promptly to all calls in bis pro- j
fession. May he found at hi? Office at the Drug
Store, or at his re?ilence on Putmau Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham E.-q.
A . ?S* *■
OR. L T. BURNS b# permanently located in
_ Tunkh ir.noct Borough, and respectfully tenders
bis professional service? to its citizens
Office on second floor, fotmerly occupied by Dr.
7iy ?r. IttCGE/t, Artist.
Room? over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Br., k Block,
Life-size Portraits painted from Amhrotypes or
Photographs- Photographs Painted in OilCtlors. —
Allordersfor paintings executed according to or
der, or noeharg" made.
Instructions given in Drawing. Sketching,
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
ۥ lors. and iu all branches of the art.
Tank , July 31, "67 -vgnSO-tf.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
* bl KUI.ER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this old and popular House equal, if not supe
ri..r, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpeet
fuliy solicited.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
•ill he given to the comfort and convenience of those
•JO patronize the House
T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor .
Tunkhannoek, September 11, 1861.
Vint. H. COR TRIG IIT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
wn ier the house an agreeable place of sojourn to
•II who may favor it with their custom.
June, 3rd, 1=63
Jb lb BART I.ET,
(Late oil "UKMNAIU. Horse, ELSIIRA, N Y
The MEANS HOTEL, i one of toe LARGEST
nd BEST ARRANGED ilousei, in the country —It |
u fitted up m the most modem ami improved style ;
•nd no pains are spared to make it a pleasant aud,
•greeablestoppngi p|ce for all,
THE subs riher offers for sale VERY CHEAP, an 1
almost new Piano Frame
Also, a lot ot Hiasehald Faruiture at very low i
Fr particulars inquire at the house now occupied '
thesubrcritier, formerly occupied by Henry Stark.
Jan. 20tb : 186?n24w<
Y > THE peculiar taint or
infection which we
ijtfl call SCROFULA lurks
if* the constitutions of
roulbtudcs of men. It
"s=^-A either produces or is
produced by an en-
vitiated state
• i bU><Rl ', wl,ert ' in
jKBP. wm to sustain
ft vital forces in their
v ' >{ '' rou * action, nn d
" *"^-.s^ fall into disorder and
decay. Tlie scrofulous contamination is va
riously caused by mercurial disease, low
living, disordered digestion from unhealthy
food, impure air, filth and filthy habits,
the depressing vices, and. above all, by
the venereal infection. Whatever be its
origin, it is hereditary in the constitution,
descending "from parents to children unto
the third and fourth generation;" indeed, it
scents to lie the rod of Him who says, " 1 will
visit th<" iniquities of the fathers upon their
children." The diseases it originates Pike
various names, according to the organs it
attacks. In the lungs. Scrofula produces
tubercles, and finally Consumption; in the
glands, swellings which suppurate and be
come ulcerous sores; in the stomach and
bowels, derangements which produce indi
gestion, dyspepsia, and liver complaints; on
the skin, eruptive and cutaneous affections.
These, all having the same origin, require the
same remedy, viz., purification and invigora
tion of the blood, l'urify the biood, and
those dangerous distempers leave you. With
feeble, foul, or corrupted Mood, you cannot
have health; with that "life of the flesh"
healthy, you cannot have scrofulous disease.
Ayer's Sarsaparilla
is compounded front the most i lleotunl anti
d ites that medical science has discovered for
this afflicting distemper, and for the cure of
the disorders it entails. That it is far supe
rior to any other remedy yet devised, is
known by all who have given it a trial. That
it does combine virtues truly extraordinary
in their effect upon this class of complaint?,
is indisputably proven hy the great multitude
of publicly known and remarkable cures it
has made of the following diseases: King S
Evil, or Glandular Swelling*, Tumors,
Eruptions, Pimples, Blotchca and Sores,
Erysipelas, Ross or St. Anthony's Fire,
Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Coughs from
tuberculous deposits in the lnngs, White
Spellings, Debility, Dropsy, Neuralgia,
Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Syphilis and
Syphilitic Infections, Mercurial Diseases,
F- male Weaknesses and, in.h d. the whole
series of complaints that ai bo lroia impurity
of the blood. Minute reports of individual
cases may he found in Ana's AMERICAN
AI.MANAC, which is furnished to the druggists
for gratuitous distribution, wherein may be
learned the directions for its use, nr.d some
of the remarkable cures which it has made
when uJI other remedies hud failed to p.llord
relief. Those cases are purposely taken
from all set tions of the country, in order
that every reader may have access to some
one w ho can speak to hint of its benefits from
personal experience. Scrofula depresses lite
vital energies, and thus leaves its victims lr
more subject to disease anil its fatnl results
than are healthy constitutions. Ilcnce it
tends to shorten, and does greatly shorten,
the average duration of human life. The
vast importance of these considerations has
lid us to spend years in perfecting a remedy
vvliicli is adequate to its cure. This we now
offer to the public under the name of Area's
FAKSAFVHII.i.A, although it is composed of
ingredients, some of which exceed the best
of (iuiMtjjart/ia in ultcralive power. By its
aid you may protect yourself from tl:e> suffer
ing and danger of these disorders, l'urge
out tiie foul corruptions that rot r.nd fester
in the blood, purge out the cause,? of disease,
and v igorous health will follow. By its pecu
liar virtues this remedy stimulates the vital
functions, and thus expels the distempers
which lurk within the system or burst out
on any part of it.
We know the public l.ave been deceived
ly many compounds of that
j iomiscd much and did nothing; but they
will neither he deceived nor disappointed in
tiiis. Its v irtuca have la-en proven by abun
dant trial, and there remains no question of
its surpassing excellence for the cure of the
afflicting diseases it is intended to reach.
Although under the same name, it i? a very
different medicine from any other which has
I eon lie fore the people, and is far more ef
fcciual than any other which lias ever been
available to them.
Tho World's Groat Remedy for
Coughs, Colds, Incipiont Con
sumption, and for the relief
of Consumptive patients
in advanced stages
of the disease.
This has been so long used and so uni
versally known, that we need do no more
than assure the public that its quality is kept
up to the best it ever has been, and that it
may lie relied on to do all it has ever done.
Prepared by - DR. J- C. AYF.R & f 0.,
j'raclical and Analytical Chtmizt\
Lowell. Mass.
Sold hy all dmggists every where.
For sale byßunnell A Bannatyne, and Lymm k
Whlls, Tunkhannoek. Sterling k Son, Meshoppen,
Stevens k Ackley, Laceyville, Frcar, Dsan A Co ,
Factoryville. and all Druggists aud Dettlsrs in med
cines, everywhere.
Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG
MEN on the CHIME OF SOLITUDE, and the ER
KOKS, ABUSES aud DISEASES which destroy the
manly powers, and create Impediments to MAR
RIAGE, with sure means of relief. Sent in sea'ed
letter, envelopes, free of charge. Address Dr. J.
SKILLEN HOUGHTON, Howard Association,
Philadelphia. I'a.
Willinm Fliekner,
At 71'.VA'/IAJWYOCA', Tenn 'a.
Who bag the exclusive right for Wyoming county, i
one of the very few Machines that will cut Hay.
Straw. Stalks, <zo., better than the old fashioned
Cutting boxes, used by our grandfathers.
Those who value tune and labor: and would
a needles? loss of both, in feeding their stock, should
get one of these improved Cutters.
No man ever found anything better; or ever went
back to the old machine after a trial of it.
A Mupply Constantly on nand
and for sale.
Tunkhannoek Dee. 2, 1877v7n19*f
Gone is etch saddened face and tearful eye,
Ol mother, brother, and of suters fair ;
Like the low failing wind their footsteps die,
Through the whispering hall and np the rust
ling stair.
In yonder room the newly dead doth sleep,
Begin we now, my friend, our watch Co keep !
And now both feed the fire and trim the lamp,
Pass cheerily, if we can, the slow paced hours ;
For all without is cold, and drear, and damp,
And the wide air with storm and darkness lowers,
Pass cheerily, if we may, the livelong night,
Putting pale phantoms, paler sleep, ; to flight.
We will not UNi of death, of pall and knell-
Leave that the mirth of brighter hours to check,
But tales of life, lore, beauty, let us tell,
Or of stern battle, sea, and storm y wreck ;
Call up the visions gay of other days—
Our boyhood freaks, our careless, youthful ways.
Hark to the distant bell ! an boar is gone !
Unlatch the parlor door and bring the light ;
Our brief but solemu duty must be done—
To dip (he cloth, aDd stay Death's hastening
To bare the ghastly face, and dip the cloth
That hides a mortal, "crushed before the moth,'
The bathing liquids scents the chilly room :
Of spectral white are shroud and veiling lace,
On yonder sideboard ID the fearful gloom ;
Take off the stifler from the sleeper's face !
Heaven ! did you speak, my friend, of ghistly
eye J
Ab, what a vision of beautj here doth lie !
Never hath art, from purest wtx or stone,
So fair HD image, and so lustrious, wrought !
It is as if a beam from heaven had sbowD
A weary angel in sweet si umber caught !
The smiling lip, the slightly tinted cheek
And all so cairn, so saint-like and so meek !
They MDg of beauty in the silver moon,
And beauty in the penciled, drooping flower ;
They tell of flushing eye and luring tone,
In radiant Hope's and rosy Health's gny hour ;
But where is beauty. In this rounded world
Like death upon a maiden's lip, impearled !
Veil thou the dead ! close to the open door !
Perhaps the spirit, ere it soar above,
Would watch its clay alone, and hover o'er
The face it once did kindle into love ;
Commune we hence, 0, friood, this wakeful
night, t
Of Death made lately by this blessed sight !
I often think each tottering fortn
That limps along in life's decline,
Once bore a heart as yonng. as watm,
As full of idle thoughts as mine I
And each has had its dream of joy,
His own unequnll'd pure romance ;
Commencing when the blushing boy
First thrills at lovely woman's glance.
And each could tell his tale of youth,
Would think its scenes of love evince
More passions, more unearthly truth,
Than any tale before or since.
Yes he could tell of tender lay
At midnight penued in classic shades,
Of days more bright than modern days—
And ruaids more fair than modern maids.
Of whispers in a willing ear,
Of kisses on a blushing cheek,
Each kiss, each whisper, far too dear,
Our modern lips to give or ?[<eak,
Of passions too untimely crossed ;
Of passions slighted or betrayed—
Of kindred spirits early lost.
And bud? that blossom but to fade.
Of beaming eyes and dresses gay,
Elastie form and noble brow,
And forms that have all passed away,
And left them what we see them now !
And is it thus—is human love
So very light and frail a thing ?
And must youth's brightest visions move
Forever on Time's restless wing 1
Must all the eyes that still are bright,
And all the lips that talk of bliss,
And all the forms so fair te sight,
Hereafter only come to this 1
Then what are earth's best visions worth,
If we at length must lose them thus I
If all we value most on earth
Ere long must fade away from us ?
KEYS. —Those Republicans who have tho't
that fidelity to party required them to de
fend the Congressional scheme of recon
struction, as a whole and in all its parts,
find .t' hard sledding' about this time. —
They hardly know where they are, or what
they shall be called to next To make
everything sure, and cover all possibilities,
thev might well modify their confession of
political faith and put in a comprehensive
torm, something like this: I We are for
the Congressional plan of reconstruction a*
it is and as it shall be, world without end.'
And to make all safe over night, l)r.
Watt's famous sleep inviter might be used
in this modified form :
Now I lay me down to sleep,
My reconstruction faith to keep;
II it should change before I wake,
The latest sort I'll try to take
£&■ In the Southern Conventions the
negroes have passed laws forbiddiug the
establishment of any school which will not
admit the negroes. This practically for
bids the advancement of white children.—
The negroes can't advance and the whites
dare not. Such is Radical "progress."
Resolutions forbidding the intermarriage
of tbc races were voted down. The big
buck nigger will not permit any impedi
ment in his way to the marital couch of
white girls Another step in the great on- ,
ward march of equality and amalgamation.
Another evidence of Redical 44 progress." |
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
Once (laal Friday, ) item greedy, set this
writer sad and seedy, pandering o'er a
memorandum book r.t' items used before
—( books and scribling rather; items, taking
days to get them in chilly freezing weather
—great expense of limb and leather) pon
dered we those items o'er. While we
conned them, slowly rockinsr ( through our
mind strange fancies Hocking ) came a
quick knocking,—knocking at the sanctum
door. " Sure that must be Jinks," we
muttered—"Jinks that knocking at our
door ! Jinks persevering bore ! "
Ah, how well do he reminds us in the walls
that then confined us, the " exchanges" lay
1 behind us and around us on the floor.—
Tho't we " Jinks has come to borrow some
newspapers " till to-morrow " aud 'twill
be a lief to get rid of Jinks, the bore; so I'll
open wide the door. Still the visitor kept
knocking louder than before.
Bracing up our patience firmer, then
without another murmur, Mr. Jinks yonr
pardon and forgiveness we implore. But
the fact is—we were reading of that
Peinbilia proceeding, where they voted
the Dakotas and Ojibways hy the score,
and were lost in the reflection that the
Otterlail election might with cart-loads
sent for Becker tip our calculations o'er.
Ilete wc opened wide the door. But
phansy our phelinks—for it was not Jinks
the bore.
But the form that stood before us caused
a trembling to come, o'er us. and memoiy
quickly bore us back to days of yore;
days when items were so plenty, and
where ere this writer went he picked up
iuteiesting pencilings at almost every door.
'Twas our homed understrapped—
'twas this young infernal rapper—hand
outstretched like (,'aptain Tapper,with, the
foreman's out of copy, sir; and it kinder
riz our dander that like grasping Alexan
der, he had setup all the copy and already
wanted " more " copy ever
more !
Now this local had already walked about
till nearly dead —he had sauntered through
the city till his feet were very sore—walk
ed through Pine, Spruce and Cedar,through
the streets and " gentle reader, "—into
ways you never thought of, both public
and obscure: and examined shop and cel
lar, and bad questioned every " feller " but
they all refused to tell or hint at any
' shocking accident" not published hereto
fore. Having met with no success, lie
would rather guess he might have felt a
trifle wicked at that ugly little bore, with
the message front the foreman, that he
wanted " something more."
"Now it's time you were departing you
young scamp " cried wr upstarting;. " get
you back into the office —office where you
"were before; or the words you have spok
en sure will get your head broken, " ( and
we seized a cudgel oaken, that was lay
ing on the flour, ) still lie stood and nev
er stirred from his position in the door—
budged the devil, itevet more."—
'•ltikv dtmoitd! child of evil! dost in
persecution scvel r Thinkest thou to
hunt and haunt mc like an everlasting
bore i Leave ! or—( pause till I have said
it ) this sheet thou art doomed to edit,
and to live, like me, on credit, to live on
credit evermore ? Then the deril fled
affrighted, muttered faintly, " send him
But our devil, never sitting still is flit
ting, flitting back and forth upon the land
ing just outside the sanctum door ; tears a
down his cheeks are streaming, strange
light from his eyes is gleaming, and his
voice is heard a streaming, "Sir theforeman
wants some more ! " Shocked and start
led by that warning we've awakened every
motning, and we hear the dismal hornir.gs
of the imp outside the door; and a fancy
will come o'er us, and each reader's face
before us bears the signet, "give us classic
draughts and antiquated lore 1" "Copy
still forevermore!
Hans Patrick O'Conner, formerly known
by the worn d' plume of "Bean llacket,"
contributed the following to the St. Louis
H<>me Journal: •
Never insure yonr life for the benefit of
your wife for a greater sum than ten thou
sand dollars. A widow with more money
than that is a dangerous legacy to leave
j posterity.
The ' game of life' is very much like a
' game of cards. Time deals, deffth cuts,
and everybody is waiting for the last trump.
I I think men driok in crowds because
they are afraid to drink by themselves. It
requires considerable courage to stand up
alone atnl pour a glass of whisky down
your throat.
There are some inconsistencies in this
world that I don't exactly understand.—
Everybody is anxious to get to Heaven,
but nobody is in a hurry about it.
if a man i? without enemies I would not
' give ten cents for his friends The man
who can pka?e everybody hasn't got sense
enough to displease anyb-dy.
When an acquaintance says, 'How are
j you ? and pushes hy you without waiting
' for a reply, I wouldn't, if I were in your
place, follow him more than a mile to tell
j hitn you were well.
A convenient way of testing the affec
-1 tions of your intended is to inarrv another
woman. It she don't love you, you learn
it at once.
Do unto other men as they would like
to do unto vou, and they won't have enough
money in two wetks to g't a shirt, washed.
, The song 4 Dear Mother, Ive come
home to die,' always struck me as a happy
! illustration of American assurance. Our
young people go abroad to spend the hard
earnings of the old folks, and, when when
they art dead broke return homo to bo
i buried at the expense of their nnpoverish
| ed parents.
A Plea For Mean Men.
The Misflouri Republican has a corres
: pondent who undertakes the thankless tu'k
|of defending mean men. He endeavors to
prove in a elaborate essay the superiority
of mean man to the " good fellow " of our
| period. And in the good sooth, he comes
nearer to success in his task than it is po
! litic to acknowledge.
One thing a mean man is remarkable for,
'is bis reliability. You always know where
:to find him. Ask him to contribute a
i testinonial to Podgers or subscribe to the
■ relief of Smuggs. He says no. But he
also acts so. He don't give a cent. Put
! the same appeal to a good fellow, and be
says, " Certainly my dear boy put me down
for a V, " subsequently enjoying the privi
lege of making the subscription good out of
your own pocket. For a good fellow al
ways says yes, but never acts yes.
So far we have discoursed on the text
given by our topic. Now let the corres
| pondent speak for himself:
Who makes the best husband? At the risk
of bringing down a torrent of curses on my
unprotected bead, I shall still adhere to the
man who i 9 supposed to have no heart or
genuine sentiment. The good fellow for
a lover, the mean man for a husband. The
latter will rob all creation to supply bis
household; the former will aob his family to
accommodate his friend. From all the
married woman in St. Louis in a solid col
umn up and down Fourth street, and if I
j don't get ninety and nine out of one hun—
I dred in favor of my proposition, I will
treat the drinking community to a barrel
of gin and water on the election of a female
President. Good fellows all love; mean
man, all business. One takes his wife to
the opera in a four horse carriage, the other ■ j
tides triumphantly in a street omnibus.— j
The good fellow can never be cross to any
body but his wife ; the mean man is so sour
with all the rest of lite world that he has
not one particle of ill-temper to spare at
'• Love role? the camp, the court, the grove,
For love ia heaven, and heaven is love
But it wont buy beef. A mean man sel
dom gets " salubrious, "he is too mean
His wife is never jealous. She knows all
woman hate him. because he is mean, and
she rafher likes it. Site laughs and grows
fat. Good fellow drinks; too kind hearted
to refuse, and he loves everybody. Good
fellow's wife pale andemanciated, decrepit
with care and full of sorrow; mean cuss's
wife hale and hearty, fat, red faced, and
weighs a ton. Am I right?
XW Congress compels the tax-payers
of the North to support a large standing
army for the purpose of making the ignor
ant and barbarous blacks the Rulers of
the white race. Eight millions of white
men are to be controlled by four millions
of negroes, and the people of the North
are made the tools for carrying out this
revolting programme. Negro suffrage has
been rejected by every Northern State,aud
yet Northern Representatives force negro
equality upon the South ! This monstrous
usurpation, which we will not tolerate at
home in any form,is forced upon an unwil
ling people by an artny which we are tax
ed to maintain.
TEMPERANCE.—An exchange truthfully
says "Temperance puts wood on the fire,
meal in the barrel, flour in the tub, money
in the purse, credit the country, content
ment in the house, clothes on the children,
vigor in the body, intelligence in the brain,
and spirit in the whole body. Temperance
in all things eating as Well as drinking is
what is desired.
TION. —At a meeting of the Democratic
State Committee of this State, held at liar
risburg, on the Tuesday evening, it was j
resolved to hold the next Democratic State
Convention, to nominate candidates for
Audi'or General and Surveyor General,
and choose delegates to the next National
Convention, at Harrisburg on the 4th of
March next. There was a full attendance
of the Committee, and as this was the first
meeting since the glorious achievement at i
the Inst fall elections, many happy congrat
ulations were exchanged.
A lot of Radicals are lobbying a scheme
at Washington to secure a monopoly of the
whiskv manufacture for the whole country.
By taking in as stockholders a number of
Radical members, and filling the pockets of
others with greenbacks, they expect to se
cure the passage of a bill of that character.
This "truoly loil " scheme has already re
ceived the endorsement ot several Grant
GEN John A. McClernand, who com
manded the Thiiteenth corps at \ icksburg,
is out in a sharp letter, saving that Gen.
Grant never did his corps justice in his re
ports. through malevolence to its command |
er, and the proofs ate on file in the War ;
Department. Gen. Grant, he says would 1
stand very differently in the public estima
tion it It is real character were known.
A Scotch lass being neatly attired,
some one said to her, " No doubt you think j
yourself very trim and clean." "Ah no,"
she replied; " I will never think that until
I have the tine white robe of ray Redeem
er's righteousness put upon mt,"
The Democrats of the Ohio Legislature
have elected lion. A. G. Thurman to the
United States Senate in place of B. Wade,
whose term expires in 18G9.
The New Jersey Legislature met on tbc
14lb. Parties stand ott joint ballot Demo
crats 51, Mongrels 24. •
merciul in reference to the Hump Congress
pi oceedings against Judge Field, Of the Su-
I preme Court, thinks that nothing will tome
out of all this, but that the resolution is a
fair illustration of the partisan action of
Congress, and the terrorism they seek to
inspire in all over whom they have any con
: trol. The editor says:
" If a General offends them they legls-
I late hitn out of his commission. If the Su
preme Court is supposed to bold the same
| opinion of certain laws of Congress that
Thad. Stevens does,viz.,that they are "out
side the Constitution," the Supreme Court
' is to be shorn of its power. If a Judge
gives expression to his private views, he is
to be impeached. It is all intolerance, big
otry, despotism. The acts of Congress
cannot bear the light, and Congress is de
termined that they shall be accepted in the
dark, and so executed as to effect the par
tisans and unpatriotic purposes of their
framers who care more for an election than
they do for their conntry. The Radicals
are getting a good deal of rope lately, and j
the usual result is sure to follow. *'
AMONG the stupid laws passed last
winter, was one giving the Anditor Gener
al authority to appoint an unlimited num
ber of Assessors of National Bank Stocks, 1
and they were to receive a certain per
centage for their services. It seems fif
teen such officers were appointed and paid,
up to the first of December, #13,836,31
the tax paid into the State treasury to
the same time, was $8 292,43.
Geary could not veto iuch a bill of course,
because it throws money in the pockets of
his political friends, but the law should be
repealed. Any legal tax can be collected
from the Bauks, by the regular officer at
Harrisburg without a dollar of extra
expense to the State.
@g"The Radicals increased the national
debt about twenty millions of dollars du
ring the past month. But twenty millions,
almost a million a day, is scarcely noticed.
Bonds were issued to that amount. Ttie
interest on the bonds sold was at the rate
ot five per cent, in gold. At the present
rate, this is equal to seven per cent, iD
greenbacks, We have added to the annual
expenses of our government, one million
four hundred thousand dollars in a single
month. The total debt of the United States
to day, is thirty millions more than it was
on the first of December last. It is ten
millions more than it was on the first day
of July, 1867. The Radical party is a cost
ly luxury. Can the people of this nation
afford to continue it in power ?
The reply of Senator Doolittle to Nevada
Nye in the Rump Senate on Friday last,
witen the latter impudently asked him
"under which flag he would march," should
immortalize the Wisconsin patriot. " I
banner, of course don't suit the Radicals.—?'
The) would mutilate the old flag as they
have mutilated the old Constitution, but
the people like Senator Doolittle, don t
want a star blotted out, nor a stripe erased.
—" A flag with thirty-seven stars!"— That's
tbc talk !
THE TAPER AGE. —This is certainly the
age of paper. There are " greenbacks,"
" stamps " paper shirt-bosoms, collars and
cuffs ; paper slippers and hats ; paper water
pipes, well'walls, ship-cabin panels, and
even the sides of pleasure yachts are made
of this seemingly fragile material. The
latest adaptation of paper, however, comes
from Maine, and is specially addressed to
the ladies. It is hoped there may be no
indelicacy in a simple mention of this new
manufacture, which is anuounced in the lo
cal •papers as the product ot a "Taper I'an
talette Company." What next?
The campaign in New Hampshire has
grown exciting. Both parties are putting
forth their best efforts. The Radical Com
mittee are taking an active part, and, it is
said, have lavishly invested over one hun
dred thousand dollars as a corrupting
agency. The leaders of that faction have
admitted that if that State should go against
them they cannot hope to carry their Pres
idential candidate in the fall without the
full negro vote.
In reply to a proposition that Members
of Congress should be allowed to draw
whatever stationary they needed. Mr.
Tltad Stevens stated the other day, that
that plan had been tried, and had to be
changed, because some members procured,
under the name of stationary, pantaloons,
shirts, and shaving soap enough to last for
When David Crockett visited Low
ell in 1833. he gave at a public dinner,
the following characteristic toast: " May
the bones of kings and tyrants be used as
grates in bell to roast the souls of tories
on." If Crockett was permitted to return
to our country now, his indignant ghost
would strike out the word" tories," and in
sert Motujrels in its place.
The tobacco trade of Virginia is the
subject of a sketch in a Danville newspa
per, in which it states that the tobacco |
trade is more lively this month than the I
last. One gentleman, who sold tobacco in
Danville a little before Christmas at 515,50,
last week sold some of the same quality at
S4O Other cases of the same kind arc
reported. The paper referred to adds that
Danville is rapidly increasing in import-'
ance as a tobacco market. The number of
Northern dealers who visit it is larger now
I than ever before.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance
pist aift
Hypocrite! are beings of darkness, disguis*
ed in garments of light.
He who cannot keep bis own secret ooght
not to complain if another tolls it.
A barrel of cider was recently beheaded
in Connecticut for working on the Sabbath*
"Pa, ain't I gfowiog tall 1" "Why, what 1i
your height, sonny 1" "Seven foot, lacking a
yard." Pa fainted.
Oftentimes it is not until we no longer
hare the means of serving oar fiiendl that
wc can know who they are.
Swinging is said, by the doctors, to be a
good exercise for the health, bnt many a
poor wretch has come to his death by lt^
It is better to sow a young heart with
; generous thoughts and deeds than a field
; with corn, since the heart's harvest is per*
i petusl."
A lady at Rhyl is said to have lost a very
handsome bennet from off her head, and did
not miss it until she returned to ber dress*
► ' ■
A youngster on coming home from his first
term at a boarding school, and on being ask
ed what he had been fed on, replied s "Mill*
tipl cation tables hashed, and stewed sub
An expeditious mode of getting up a row
is to carry a ladder on your shoulders in a
crowded thoroughfare, and every few min
utes turn round to see if any one Is msktng
faces at you.
A Western paper strikes the names of two
subscribers from it list because they were
hung. The publisher says he was compelled
to be severe, because he did not kno "J their .
present address.
An Irishman, being a little fuddled, was
asked what was his religious belief. "Is H /
me belafe ye'd be askin* about 7 Its the'
same as the widdy Brady. I owe ber twelve
shillings for whisky, and she belaves I'll nev
er pay her—and faith, that's my belafe too."
An Irishman,who had laid sick s long time,
was one day met by the parish priest, who
said : "Well, Patrick, lam glad you have
recovered—but were you not afraid to meet ,
your God ?" "Och ! no, your riverance, it
was the meetin' of t'other chap I was afeared
uv," replied Pat.
One day, when a boy had been doing some
thing wrong, the mother, intending to chas*
tise him, called him and said t "Corns here,
sir ; what did you do that for 7" The boy
complaceotly folded his arms, and imitating
his father's manner, said ; ' See here, madam
I don't wish to have any words with JQU."
A dog In New Albany, Ind., plays on the
piano aud howls. A good many women do
ihe same thing.
Why is a weathercock like a loafer 7 Be
cause he is constantly going round doing
<ir 9
An Irishman being in chnrch where the
collection apparatus resembled an election
box, in its being passed to him be whispered
in the carrier's ear that he was not natural
ized, aDd could not Vote, but he was ready to
make a speech.
Mrs. Jenkins complained that the turkey
she had eaten iD the eveniDg did not set
well. "Probably," said Jenkins, "It was not
a hen turkey."
Kti.LtNO.—Ministers, in our day, rarely
object to an increase*of salary, but we find
in an exchange a capital story of an old Con
necticut parson, who declined it for very sub*
stantial reasons. His country parish raised
his salsry from S3OO to S4OO. The good man
objected, for three reasons ;
"First," said he, "because you can't afford
to give me more than S3OO.
"Second, because my preaching isn't worth
more than that."
"Third, because I have to collect my salary
which, heretofore, has been the hardest part
of my labors among you. If I have to col
lect an additional hundred, it will kill me-"
A Minister, in a highly elaborated sermon
which he preached, said several times, "The
commentators do not agree with tne here,"—
Next morning a poor woman came to see
him with something in her apron. She said
that "her husband read the aermon, and that
it was a very fine one. and as he aaid 1 the
common tatera did not agree with him,' he
has sent some of the best kidneys."
Blobbs' landlord proposes to raise his rent
next spring. Blobbs is glad of it. He can
not raise it himself.
Promissory Notes—Tuning the fiddlea be*'
| fore the performance begins.
NO. 29.