Wyoming democrat. (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, January 08, 1868, Image 1

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    tDpming Bemofrat,
lUpming Qfiitflrrai
A Democratic weekly __
pejier, devoted to Poll
tics Xew9, the Arts ./*„ I fab
&n l Sciences Ac. Pub- ~ | -.
Wyoming County,Pa ' V .LSg Ij' jfn
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) $2,00 ;if
Cat paid within six months, $2.50 will be charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar
rearagesre paid; unless at the option of publisher.
One square one or three insertions $1,50
Every subsequent insertion less than 8 50
ADVERTISING, as may be agreed upon,
PATENT MEDICINES and other advertisements Dy
the column :
One column, 1 year, S6O
Half column, I year-..-' 35
Third column, 1 year, 25
Fourth column, 1 year, 20
Ilusincss Cards of one square or less, per year
with paper, SB.
I >.*" EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising—with
out Advertisement—ls cts. per line. Liberal terms
made with permanent advertisers.
TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, $2,50
OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten tines, each; P.ELI
GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general
oterest, one half the regular rates.
F Advertisements must be handed in by TDES
DAy NOON, to insure insertion the same week.
tfall kin Is neatly executed, and at prices to suit
th* times.
WORK must he paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
11 LAW Oidice on Tioga Street Tunkhannock i'a
• Newton Centre, Lucerne County Pa.
• OfE-e at the Court IloUne, iu Tunkhanuock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
flee in Stark's Brick Block Xioga St., 'Junk
aannock, Pa.
i. , LOU AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa.
Especial attention given to settlement o£ dece
dent's estates
Nicholson, Pa.. Dec.s, 13^7— vTnlDyl
J . ill attend promptly to all calls in his pro
fession. May be found at, his Office at the Drug
sore, or at his residence on Putmau Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq.
L— v." *
IV pfcifa
* _
DR. L T. BURNS hag permanently located in |
Tunkhannock Borough, and respectfully tenders
his professional services to its citizens.
0(5-e on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr.
uiiwan. , ,
vdn JCtf.
JJy )f. A' l'(r K/i f sLctist.
Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Brick Bbi-k,
Life-sire Portraits painted from Ambrotrpes or
Pb'>tngrii[ihs Photographs Painted in OilCclors, —
Ait orders for paintings executed according to or
der, or no charge made.
|{O Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching,
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
Colors, and in all branches of the art,
Tunk, July 31, 'c7 -vgnaO-tf.
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing
now offers his services in tliis line to the citizens of
mcHOLSON and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his shop the
place to get them.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
" BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this obi and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
Till 5 establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
•nib given to the comfort and convenience of those
*'ao patronize the House.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor-;
September 11, 1861.
WED. 11. tORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
tender the house an agreeable place of sojourn to
a.l who may favor it with their custom.
Tbe MEANS HdTEL, Done of the LARGEST
nd BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
'£ fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
end no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
eijreeabte stoppngi p|ace for all,
v i u2lly.
Scrofula aud Scrofulous Diseases.
From Emery EJes, a wll-known merchant of 0
ford, Maine.
" I have sold large quantities of your SARSAPA-
KtLLA, but never yet one bottle which failed of the
desired effect and full satisfaction to those who took
it. As fust as our people try it, they agree there haa
been no medicine like it before in our community."
Eruptions, Pimples, Blotches, Pustules, Ul
cers, Soros, and all Diseases of the Skin.
from Rev. Robt. St rattan, Bristol, England.
" 1 only do my duty to you ami the public, when
1 add inv testimony to that you publish of the me
dicinal virtues ofvour MA USA r A t'.J i.t.A. My daugh
ter, aged ten, had an nffliefhiir hninor in her ears,
eyes, and liair f"r years, which we were unable .to
cure until we tried your tjAKSAr.UULLA. She has
been well for some mouths."
from Mrs. Jane E. Rice, a well-known and murX
esteemrd lady nf HeirnisrUlc, Cape May Co., .V.J.
" My daughter has suffered for a year past with a
scrofulous eruption, which was very troublesome.
Nothing afforded any relief until we tried your
S.u;.s.vt-A|:II.LA, wliih soon completely cured her."
From Charles I'. Gage, Esq., of the widely known
Gage, Murray if Co., manufacturer* of enamelled
papers in Nashua, .V. 11.
" I had for several years a very troublesome
humor m my face, which grew constantly worse
until it disfigured my features and became no intol
erable affliction. I tried almost every thing a man
could of both advice and medicine, but without any
relief whatever, until 1 took your SARSAPARILLA.
It immediately made my face worse, as you told me
it might for a time; but in a few weeks the new
skin began to form under the blotches, and con
tinued until my face is as smooth as any body's,
aud I am without any symptoms of the disease that
I know of. I enjoy perfect health, and without a
doubt owe it to your SARSAPARILLA."
Erysipelas —General Debility—Purify the
From T)r. Robt. Sawin, TTonston St., .Vc?e York.
" Dlt. AV I I :. 1 seldom fail to remove Eruption *
and Sen raloui Soy • Ov the pcrscvoring uscor your
SAK-AI- VKII.I.A. and I have just now cured an attack
of Malignant Erysipelas with it. No alterative wo
possess equals the SARSAPARILLA you have sup
plied to the profession as well us to tile people."
From J. F. Johnston, E*q., fTakeman, Ohio.
"For twelve years, I had the yellow Erysipelas
on my right arm, during which time I tried all the
celebrated physicians I could reach, and took hun
dreds of dollars worth of medicines. The ulcers
were so bad that the cords became visible, and the
doctors decided that my arm must be amputated. I
began taking your S VIISAPAMLI. V. Took two bot
tles, an l some of your PILLS. Together they bave
enr.-d me. lam now as well and sound as any body.
Being in a public place, my caso is known to every
body ia this community, and excites the wouder of
From Hon. Henry Monro, ,TF. P. P., of S'ewcastle,
C. IF., a leading member of the Camutian I'artia
" I have used your SARSAPARILLA in my family,
for geueral debility, aud for purifying the blood,
with very beneficial results, and feel confidence in
commending It to the afflicted."
St. Anthony's Fire, Rose, Salt Rheum,
Scald Head, Sore Eyes.
From Harney Sirklt r, Esq., the able editor of th*
THnkhaniinrk In mo* rat, Pennsyteania.
" Our only child, übout three years of age, was
attacked by pimples on bis forehead. They rapidly
spread until they formed a loathsome and virulent
sore, which covered his face, and actually blinded
lus eyes for some "lays. A skilful physician applied
nitrate of silver and other remedies, without any
apparent effect. For fifteen days we guarded his
hands, lest with them lie should tear open the fes
tering and corrupt wound which covered his whole
face. Having tried every thing else Ave hail any
liope from, we legan giving your SARS APARILLA,
ami applying the iodide of potash lotion, as you
dir ct. The sore began to heal when Ave had given
tlm first bottle, and was well when we had finished
the second. The child's eyelashes, which had como
out, grew again, and In- is now* as healthy ami fair
as any other. The whole neighborhood predicted
that the child must die."
Syphilis and Mercurial Diseaso.
" From Dr. Hiram Stoat, of St. Louis, Missouri.
" I find your SARSAPARILLA a more effectual
rcir.e.lv for tin* > coudarv symptoms of Syphilis
and i-r syphilitic fli ao than any other we possess.
The protest .m nrc indebted to you lor some of the
beet medicines we have."
From .1. J. J'reach, M. I)., an eminent physician of
La retire, Masi., uho is <■• prominent member of
th'- legislature of Massachusetts.
•' lit:. AVI-.H. My dear sir: ! have found your
SARSAPARILLA an excellent remedy for Syphilis,
both of the primary ami serandary type, ami effec
tual in some cases that Avore too obstinate to yield
to other remedies. Ido not knoAv what we can em
ploy with more certainty of success, where a power
ful alterative is required."
Mr. Chas. S. Fan Lieu t, of New Brunswick, X.J.,
had dreadful ulcers on his legs, caused by the abuse
of mercury, or no rrurial disease, which grew more
anl more aggravated for years, iu snite of every
remcilv or treatment that could lie applied, until the
p. rsevcriii" use of AVKIS'H SARSAPARILLA relieved
I,in, Few-Vases can be found more inveterate and
distressing than this, and it took several dozes
bottles to cure him.
liCueorrhtxa, "Whites, Female weakness,
av generally produced by Internal Scrofulous f7-
:fHi *!*• very often cured by the iilbTAtlfO
effect of this SAPS APAKII.LA. Some cases require,
however, iu akl of th*- HAKSAPABUXA, tbc skilful .
application of local remedies.
From the well known and widely celebrated Dr.
Jacob Morrill, of Cincinnati.
"T have found your SARSAPARILLA an excellent
alterative in diseases of females. Many eases of
Irregularity, Lourorrlpra, Internal Ulceration, and
local debility, arising from the scrofulous diathesis,
have yielded to it. and there are few that do not,
when its effect is properly aided by local treatment."
A la-'y, unwilling to allow the publication of her
name, incites .-
" My daughter and myself have been cured of a
very debilitating iA-ueorrhm.A of long standing, by
two bottles of your SARSAPARILLA
Rheumatism, Gout, Liver Complaint, Dys
pepsia, Heart Disease, Neuralgia,
when caused by Scrofula pi the system, are rapidly
cured by this EAT. SAUSAPABILLA.
POSSESS SO many advantages over the other
purgatives in the market, ami their superior
A irtues are so universally known, that we need
not do more than to assure the public their
quality is maintained equal to the LX;st it ever
has been, ami that they may bo depended on
to do all that they have ever done.
Prepared by .1. C. AY EK, M. D., & Co.,
Lowell, Mass., and sold by
For sale byßunnell A Bannatyne, and Lyman &
Whlls, Tunkhaunock. Sterling A Son, Meshoppen,
Stevens A Ackley, Laceyville, Frear, DSAN A Co,
Factoryville, and all Druggists and Devlsrs in med
cines, everywhere.
Teeth Positively Extracted
This Substance is applied directly to the gume
producing a numbnese (local Anaesthesia) of only the
parts around the tooth, whereby it can be extracted
without any pain whatever, and without unpleasant
ness to the Patient:
J. J. S£l MOU'Ji,
Sure/eon 'Dentist,
Laceyville, Pa.—v7na-3m-
Howard Association Repnrta, for YOUNG
MEN on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE, and the ER
RORS, ABUSES and DISEASES which destroy tiie
I manly powers, and create impediments to MAR"
! RIAGE, with pure means of relief. Sent in sealed
letter, em elopes, free of eharge. Address Dr. J.
; SKILLEN fiOUUIITON, Howard Association,
I Philadelphia. Pa,
Talking of sects till late one eve,
Of the various doctrines the saints believe,
That night I stood in a troubled dream,
By the side of a darkly flowing stream.
And a "Churchman" down to the river eame ;
When I heard a strange voice call his name,
' Good-father, stop ; when you cross this tide
You must leave your robee on the other side."
Bui the aged father did not mind,
And his long gown floated out behind,
As down the stream his way he took,
His palo hands clasping a gilt edged book.
"I'm bound for Heaven and when I'm there
I shall want my book of Common Prayer ;
And though I put on a starry crown,
I should feel quite lost without my gown."
Then he fixed his eye on a shining track,
But his coat was heavy, and held him back,
Aad the poor old father tried in vain,
A single step in the flood to gain.
I saw him again on the other sido,
But his silk gown floated on the tide ;
And no one asked, in that blissful spot,
Whether he belonged to "THE Cliureh" or not.
Then down the river a Quaker strayed,—
His dress of a sombre hue was made ;
"My coat and hat must be of gray,—-
I cannot go any other way,"
Then he buttoned his coat straight up to his chin
And steadily, solemnly waded in,
And his broad-brimmed bat he pulled down tight |
Over his forehead, so cold and white.
Eut a strong wind carried away his hat ;
A moment be silently sighed over that,
And then, as he gazed to the farther shore,
The coat sN pped ofl. and was seen no moro.
AP he entered heaven, bis suit of gray
Want quietly sailing--away—away,
And none of tho angels questioned him
About the width ef his beaver's brim.
Next came Dr. Watts, with a handle of Psalms
Tied nicely up in his aged arms,
And hymns as many a very wise thing,
That the pcoplo in heaven "ail round." might sing.
Eut I thought that he heaved an amious sigh,
As he saw that the river ran broad and high,
And looked rather surprised, as one by one,
The I'salms and the Hjinns in the wave went down.
And after him, with his MS?',
Came Wesley*, the pattern of goodliness ;
But he cried, "dear me what shall I do 1
Tbc water has soaked tbem through and through."
And there on the river, far and wide,
Away tbey went down the swollen tide 5
And the paint astonished passed through alone,
Without lus manuscript up to the throne.
Then gravely walking two saints by name,
Down to the stream together came ;
But as they stopped at tho rivor's brink,
I saw one saint from the other shrink.
"Sprinkled or plunged,—may I ask you friend,
How you attended to life's great end 1"
"THUS with a few drops upon my brow,"
"But I have been dipped as you'll see me now."
"And I really think it will Lardly do,
As I'm 'elose communion,' to cross with you ;
Tou'ie bound, I know, to the realms of bliss,
But you must go that way, and I'll go this.
Then straightway plunging wilh all his might,
Away to the left—his friend at the right,
Apart they went from this world of sin,
But at last together they entered in.
Ami now, when the river was rolling on,
A Presbyterian church went down,
Of women there seemed sn innumerable throng,
But the men I could count is they pissed aloDg.
And concerning the road, they could never agree,
The OLD or the NEW way, which it could be ;
Nor ever a moment pause to think
That both would lead to the river's brink.
And a sound of murmuring, long and loud,
Came ever up from tbo moving crowd ;
"You're in the old way, and I'm in the new ;
That is tho false, and this is the true
Or "I'm in the old way, and you're in the new ;
Tuts is the false and THAT is the true."
But the BRETHREN only seemed to speak ;
Modest the sisters walked, and meek.
But if ever one of them chanced to say
What troubles she met with on the way,—
How she longed to pass to the other side,
Nor dared to cross over the swelling tide,—
A voice arose from the brethren then t
"Let no one speak but tho "holy men s"
For have ye not heard the words of Paul,
1 Oh let the women keep silence all 1" "
I watched tbem long in my curious dream,
Till they stood by the borders of the stream ;
TheD just as I thought, the two ways met,
But all the brethren were talking yet, —
And would talk on, till the heaving tide
Carried them over side by side ;
Side by side for the way was one—
The toilsome journey of life was done,—
And priest and quaker, and all who died,
Came out alike on the other side,
No forms, or crosses, or books had they—
No gowns of silk, or suits of gray.
No creeds to guide them or MSS,
For all had put on Christ's righteousness
An editor compliments a brother thus >—
"Mr. Brown Is a clever thinker, a ready
and vigorous wri ter, and a first-rate Fellow
to boot.
To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
Charles P. Upham, of Massachusetts,
has written a history of the witchcraft de
lusion. It occupies two octavo volumes, of
over one thonsand pages each, and illus
trated by maps, photograph autographs or
wood cuts of houses connected with the
tragic events of which the beginning is de
scribed :
" In the winter of 1601-2, a circle of
young girls met frequently at Mr. Parris's
house, ostensibly to practice psalm singing,
but their principal occupation was fortune
telling and the various arts of necromancy,
magic and veutriloquism, of which they had
instruction of two negro or Indian serv
ants, whom Mr. Parris brought with him
from one of-the Spanish West India Isl
ands, where he was engaged in trade. One
of the girls was a daughter of Mr. l'arris,9
years of age, Another was Ann Putnam,
12 years of age. The ages of the other
girls ranged fram 11 to 18 years. They
crept into holes and under benches, thiew
themselves on the floor, went into spasms,
aud uttered strange outcries. These pro
ceedings were probably commenced in
sport; but as the girls became adepts they
began to attract the attention of the neigh
bors, and gave exhibitions of their new ac
complishments. From day to day they
learned new tricks. The village doctor
was called in, who, with Mr. Parris, con
cluded that the girls were ' under an evil
hand.' The community was excited and
flocked to see their strange actions. Witch
books were in Mr Parris's house, and the
girls probably learned how witches in Eng
land behaved. The girls were now ques
tioned as to who had bewitched them. —
They named Sarah Good, a poor wretched
out-cast, and Pituba, one of the Indian ser
vants. Whether they named these serv
ants under instructions cannot he ascer
tained. The time was not come for strik
ing at higher game. The local magistrates
inquired into the matter, and held a public
examination of the two persons accused.—
Ia all these trials the guilt of the accused
was assumed, and these simple people were
plied with such questions as these by the
magistrates: 'Sarah Good, why do you
hurt these children V 4 1 do not hart them,
I scorn it.' 4 Whom do you employ, then,
to do it!' 'I employ no one.' The chil
dren then go into convulsions. t Sarah
Good, do you sec what you have done ?
Why do you not tell us the truth ?' 4 1 do
not torment them.' 4 llow came they thus
tomieuted ?' 4 What do I know.' After
many inquiries of this kind, the wretched
woman finds that her only refuge is in ac
cusing some one else; then she savs that
Sarah Osborn luid bewitched her. The
girls also remember that Sarah CLburn had
bewitched them. Osburn was arrested and
brought in. Site was asked : 4 What evil
spirit have you familiarity with ? 4 None.'
4 Have you made no contract with the
devil I' 4 No; I never saw the devil in
my life.' The • afllicted children' looked
upon her, and go into convulsions. ' Why
do you hurt these children 1' 4 1 do not
hurt them.' ' Whom do you employ then V
I I employ nobody, Ido not know that the
devil goes about in my likeness to do any
"Sarah Osburn was committed and Pi
tuba was brought in. The same questions
were asked and the same scene enacted.
• Who is it that hurts these children ?'—
4 The devil, for aught I know.' 4 Did you
ever see the devil V 4 The devil came to
me and bid mo serve liim.' Whom have
you seen !' 4 Four women sometimes hurt
these children.' ' Goody Osburn and Sa
rah Good; Ido not know who the others
were.' She then confessed she tormented
the children, and made some strange reve
lations. The devil, she said, appeared in
black clothes sometimes, and sometimes in
a surge coat of another color. She was
asked how she went to witch meetings, and
replied, ' We ride upon sticks; Good and
Osburn behind me.' 4 Do you go through
the trees or over them ?' 4 We sec noth
ing but are there presently,' This woman
was the servant of Mr. Parris, and the in
structor of the afllicted children in their
hellish arts. John Indian, tho oilier serv
ant, appeared as an accuser in a later stage
of the proceedings.
" The delusion was now under full head
way. The next victim was the wife of
Giles Covey, a devout matron, eighty yis.
of age, who spent most of her time in
prayer. Her examination was a scene for
the pebcil of an artist. The usual ques
tions were put to her. She denied the al
legations, and asking leave to goto prayer,
knelt in the presence of the court and of
fered up a fervent supplication, W hen
she had concluded the magistrate said :
' We did not send for yon to go to prayer;
but tell me why you hurt these children?'
I ant an innocent person. I never had to
do with witchcraft since I was born. lam
a gospel woman.' The girls go into fits,
and declare that Goodey Covey is pinching
them and are not restored until they touch
the person accused. These proceedings
were enacted at every trial. The pious
woman regarded the whole thing as a de
lusion, and to the question, 4 Do you not
see these children complain ot you,' re
plied: 4 The Lord open the eyes of the
magistrates and the minister.' She was
hung September 22, 1692."
A person was boasting that he
sprung from a high family. 44 Yes," said a
bystander. 44 1 have seen some of the same
so high that their feet could not touch
the ground."
Jtjr What is the difference between an
editor and a wife ! One sets articles to
rights, und tbc other writes articles to set.
The following exquisite gem is worth
preserving. We doubt, it, in the whole
range of English literature, anything more
beautiful or tonchingly eloquent can be
" Twelve o'clock at night, and all well."
False prophet! Still and statue-like at yon
der window stands the wife. The clock
has told the small hours, yet her face is
pressed against the window pane, striving
in vain with straining eye to pierce the
darkness. She sees nothing, she hears
nothing ; but the beating of her own heart.
Now she takes her seat, opens the Bible,
and seeks from it what comfort she may
while tears blister the pages. Then she
clasps her hands, and her lips are tremu
lous with mute supplication. Hist, there
is an unsteady step iu Lhe hall; she knows
it, for many a time and oft it has trod on
her heart strings. She glides down gently
to meet the wanderer. He falls heavily
against her, and in maudlin tones, pro
nounces a name he has long since forgot
ten to honor. Oh, all-enduring power of
woman's love—no reproach, no upbraiding
—the light arm passed around the reeling
figure, once erect in God's own image.—
With tender words of entreaty, which he
is powerless to resist, if he would, she leads
him in. It is but the repetition of a thou
sand such vigils! It is the performance of
a vow, with a heroism and patient endur
ance too common every day to he ebroni
cled on earth; too holy and heavenly to
pass unuoticed by the registering angel
" All's well!"
False prophet I In yonder luxurious
room sits one whose privilege it was to be
as fair as a dream of Eden. Time was
when thore clear eyes looked lovingly into
a mother's face—when a kind, loving fath
er laid a trembling hand with a blessing on
that sunny head—when brothers' and sis
ters' voices, blended wilh her own, made
heart-music around the happy hiarth. Oh!
where are they now ? Are there none
to say to the repentant Madalen— 44 neither
do 1 condemn thee—go and sin no more."
Must the gilded fetter continue to bind the
soul that loathes it, because man is less
merciful than God ?
44 All's well!'
False prophet! There lies the dead or
phan. In all the length and breadth of
the green earth, there was found no shelt
ering next where the lonely dove could
fold its wings when the parent bird had
flown. The brooding wing was gone that
covered it from the cold winds of neglect
and uukindness. Love was its life, and so
it drooped.
41 All's well!"
False prophet! Sin walks the earth in
purple and fine linen, honest poverty, with
tear bedewed face, hungers and shivers,
and thirsts, 44 while the publican stands
afar off!" The widow pleads in vain to
the determined judge for "justice," and
unpunished of heaven, the human tiger
crouches in his lair, and springs upon his
helpless prey.
44 All's well!"
Ah yes, all is well, for He who 44 seeth
the end from the beginning," holds evenly
the scale of justice. 44 Dives shall yet beg
of Lazarus." Every human tear is count
ed. They will yet sparkle as gems in the
crown of the patient and enduring disciple!
When the clear, broad light of eternity
shines upon life's crooked path, wo shall
see the pitfalls from which our hedge of
thorns has fenced us in ; and in our full
grown faith, we shall exultingly say 44 Fath
er, not as I will, but as Thou wilt."
A QUAXER ARGUMENT. —"Ah," said a
skeptical collegian to an old Quaker, 44 1
suppose you are one of those faDatics who
believe the Bible ?"
44 1 do believe in the Bible. Do yon
believe it ?" said the old man.
"No ; I can have no proof of its truth."
44 Then," inquired the old man, 44 does
thee believe in France ?"
44 Yes; for although I bave not seen it,
I have seen others who have. Besides,
there is plenty to corroborate proof that
such a country does exist."
44 Then thee will not believe anything
thee or others have not seen ?"
" No."
" Did thee ever see thy own brains ?"
" No."
44 Did thee ever see a man who did see
them 1"
44 No."
44 Does thee believe thee has any ?"
This last question was an end to the dis
IMFCDENCE.— This is a composition in
the making up a man which has more to
do with his success in the world than any
thing else. A man may have ability, lie
may have money, he may occupy a high
position in the social circle, but all amounts
to nothing if he lacks impudence. Many
a man has been compelled to sec men of
less ability, and less brains, less common,
sense than himself take the preference on
many occasions, simply because he had a
large stock of impudence. Some people
choose to call this trait in a man's charac
ter by a different name ; perhaps they are
right, but we prefer to call it downright
barcjaced impudence.
fer 44 Madam, at what price per yard
do you sell this broadcloth?" asked
iam Bennington of a fair Miss, 44 l ive
dollars, sir "You're a little deai.
14 Yes," replied the blushing maiden, 44 so
all the young men tell me."
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cruf, and pay tor U, too.
It is related of a Persian mother that on
giving her son forty pieces of silver as his
portion, she made him promise never to
tell a lie, and then said, "Go, mysonjl
commit thee to God; we shall not meet
again till the day of judgment."
The youth went away, and the party he
traveled with was attacked by robbers,
One fellow asked the boy what money he
had got, and be said, " Forty dinars sew
ed up in my garments." The robber
laughed, and thought he was jesting.
Another asked him the same question, and
received the same answer.
At last the chief called hitn and asked
him what he had. He said, " I have told
two of your people already, that I have
forty dinars sewed up in my clothes."
lie ordered the clothes to be ripped open
and found the money. " And how came
you to tell this ?" asked the chief.
"Jlecanse," replied the child, "I would
not be false to my mother, to whom I
promised never to tell a lie."
"Child," said the robber, "art thou so
mindful, at thy tender years, of thy duty
to thv mother, and am I insensible, at my
age, of the duty I owe to God ? Give me
thy hand, that I may promise repentance
on it. lie did so. His followers were
struck with the scene. "You have been
our leader in guilt," said they to the chief;
"now be the same in the path of virtue."
They immediately gave back what they
had stolen, and began at once to lead an
honest life.
TRUTH IN BRlEF. —Anybody can soil the
reputation of an individual, however pure
and chaste, by uttering a suspicion which
his enemies will believe, and his friends
never hear of. A puff of idle wind can take
up a million of the seeds of the thistle and do
a work of mischief which the husbandman
must labor long and hard to undo the
floating particles being 100 trifling to be seen
and too light to he stopped. Such are the
seeds of slander, so easly sown; so difficult
to, be gathered up, and yet so pernicious in
their fruits. They kuow that many a mind
w ill catch up the plague and become pois
oned l>y their insinuation, without ever
finding or caring to seek the antidote. No
refutation can refute a sneer nor any human
skill prevent its mischief.
WH AT IS GLYCERINE. —Glycerine. In its
pure state, is a clear, colorless, liquid syrup
of a sweetish taste, being the sweet princi
ple contained in oil and fatty bodies. Al
though its existence has long been kr.own
to science, yet like many articles of kindred
nature, its value to science long remained
unknown. In 1844 its value for medica!
purposes was first discovered, in which year
it was fir>t introduced into the London
ilo-pital for diseases of the skin, deafness
and other complaints. 111 Kussia this article
is extensively used by all classes who apply
it to the face, hands, and ears, as a protec
tion against intense cold as it will not freeze
at any temperature, and excludes the air
without evaporation ; it is also used as an
adjunct to the bath, softening the skin
pleasantly, and also bears a high reputation
as a lotion for the complexion. In the arts
its uses are manifold, by perfumers as a
preservative fluid for flowers and fresh
plants, in photography to keep pictures in
an unfinished state, and also in keeping the
colors of organic bodies. Large quantities
of this article are consumed by manufact
urers of chewing tobacco, who find it valu
able in maintaining the softness of their
products while imparting sweetness to the
taste. I
AN exchange says that it the ladies wonld
enter into the temperance movement with
spirit, and agree not to kissaoy young man
who used intoxicating liquors, there would
be a probability of its success.
"Qniip," thinks that if, in addition, they
would agree to kiss all who did not drink
success would be certain.
Yes, gentlemen, it's all very well to talk
so, but which would be the least harm. To
lake poison from the cup, or the painted
lips ai.d cheeks of the fair ladies 1
The fellow who penned the above, it is
some satisfaction to know, nearly broke his
neck in getting out of this office hastened
by the toe of a No. 12 boot.
IF yon wish to keep your town from
thriving turn a cold shoalder to every young
mechanic or beginner in business. Kill
him off if you can. Look up to every new
comer with a scowl, and discourage all you
can ; if that won't'do decry his work, and
go abroad for wares of his kind rather than
give him your money. Last but not least
refuse to patronize the village paper, 44 Then
go to seed." There is no more effectual
way to retard the growth of a town than
BIUJNGSISMS. —There aint no general
rule for happiness ; a man hez tu be meas
ured for hiz happiness ; jist az he docs for
hiz boots, ann even then he dont always
git a good fit.
Joy will make a man change ends
quicker than sorrow.
If a young man kant find ennything else
that he ia fit for,l like tu see him carry a
goldeu hedded kane.
jfiT It is the fashion at weddings in
Nevada that all the gentlemen present kiss
the bride, and all the ladies ki9s the bride
groom, after which all the ladies and gen
tlemen kiss each other.
He that looks for content must look
for innocence ; for those who fly from the
ont will never obtain the other.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
. NO. 22.
fPUf aift fttjfrrfow.
- - ._*)
The fellow who wrote, "ask Hie no more,
was probably " foil.''
A dentist is Hot necessarily mad beCads be
shows his teeth.
One lash to a good horse > one wotd to a
The prettiest neck-tie for a lady—the arms
of her baby.
"Scissorinkttttns" is the heading of the
general news column in a paper in this State.
A copperhead is a person whose- mouth is
not large enough to swallow a nigger.
The full dress of a native lady of Col umbo
.is a fisir pin and two garters. Rather cool
dress for this section, at the present time.
A coffin taken from a grave at Oakham,
Mass., the other day, was found full of black
This explains the great Radical loss in that
State. .ho
i :
Some one remarked that though the Scrip
ture says "the glory of a woman is in her
hair," it nowhere says that the glory ofaDy
woman is in any other woman's hair.
A clergyman in Ohio is "shocked" at Ben.
Wade's profanity. If the shock is anything
like as great as old Ben's profanity, it would
break the head of the general run of minis
M r
A resolution was introduced in the negro
Convention of Louisiana, of "thanks to God
for the success of the Radical Republican
majority." A vote of thanks to Congress
and the devil, would come nearer tfco true
source of such success.
A yankee ai Pittsburg fastened bristles to
the tail of a rat, and sold the reconstructed
animal for a squirrel. 110 is but an humble
imitator of those who seek to reconstruct the
negroes into intelligent citizens.
The Harrisburg Patriot $ Union's "local"
has found out bow to make a fortune : "Mar
ry a fashionable young lad/ and sell her
clothes." The way to spend a fortune *
"Marry a fashionable young lady and buy hr
clothes." .Wretch !
A romantic young lady, who was dragged
out of a pond into which she had fallen, on
coming round declared that she would marry
her preserver. "That is impossible," said a
young man, "Is he already married, then ?"
she inquired. "No," said ha, "it was a New
foundland dog,"
People who brood over tbeir sorrows are
generally successful in hatching a numerous
family ; sod those who "nurse their rage to
keep it warm, are sure of a camfortable tem
perature of indignation.
"I never complained of my condition but
once," said an old man, "when my feet Were
bare and I had money to buy shoes ; and I
met man without feet, and became content
Pinning a mackerel to your coat tail and
trying to paas ymrself off for a whale ia oar
idea of the codfish aristocracy of the present
To defend a political aditor against abase,
is like holding an umbrella orer a dues in a
"I say, Tumraas," remarks an inquiring
spirit in Judy, " what breed do you call that
ere dawg e' youtn !"
"Tummas.—''Well, he's two breeds—pint
er and setter. lie sits all day and pints bis
nose at the fire."
A negro returning from church, was in
•cstacies over the sermon, declaring it was
the best he ever Heard. Someone asked him
to repeat a. part of it, when He scratched his
wool I; head and replied : "nebber mocks de
A dilapidated old darkey in Montgomery,
while watching the monkeys in a menageri®
in that city, on Friday, spoke thusly: "Dem
children got too much sense to come out ob
dat cage ; white man cut dar tails off and set
'em to votm' and makin' constitewtions."
"My dear," said a smiling spouse to hit
other half, "I'm going a shopping to-day and
want a little change." "Pooh!" responded
the savage, "that would be no change at all;
you go shopping every day."
At the meeting of the National Base Ball
Convention, at Philadelphia, last week, a res
olution was adopted excluding negro clubs.
Young America—very properly, too—ts not
ready for the social dish of hash.
Says a Radical cotemporary—'Steadily,
surely, grandly and beautiful, the loyal men
of the Sbuth are taking possession of ihe reins
of the government.' Steadily, surely, grandly
and beautiful,' like a donkey matching up to
a bushel of oats.