ttpmiia Democrat.
HARVEY SICKT.ER, PUBLISHER.
VOL. VII.
ppming ffemwrai
A Democratic weekly
paper, devoted to Poll : '/cJ
ties News, the Arts /k " ** \Va
and Sciences Iq. Pub- KjfcJL i "J *
lifhel every We does- "| E.-.. ML "Z
at Tunkhannock "IHJR^NTTD* I
Wyoming County,Pa * ,v.ft?W fi 'f
BY HARVEY SICKIER
TSerma—l copy 1 year, (in advance) $2.00; if
■at paid within six months, $'2.50 will be charged
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rearagesre paid; unless at the option of publisher.
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Every subsequent insertion less than 3 50
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With paper, SB.
TW EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITER advertising—with
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GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of general I
nterest, one half the regular rates.
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DAY NOON, to insure insertion the sums week.
JOB WORK
•f all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
the times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS nnd JOB
WORK must be paid for, when ordered
Business Notices.
RH. fc W U I.ITTI.E, ATTORNEYS Tr
LAW Odiee on Tioga Street Tunkhannock Pa
HS. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
0 1., IMHRISII, ATTORNEY AT LAW
• Offi-e at the Court House, in Tuukhanuock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
UJ M. M . PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW O
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tuuk
nennock, Pa.
TJ. CHASE. ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL-
LOR AT LAW, Nicholson, Wyoming Co-, Pa.
Especial uttention given to settlement oi deco
de nt's estates.
Nicholson, Pa. Dec 5, 18g7—v7nl9yl
w7RIIOADS, PHYSICIAN A SURGED N
will attend promptly to all calls in bis pro
fession. May be found at his Office at the Drug
Smre, or at his residence on I'utmau Sreet, loruierly
occupied by A. K. l'eckham Esq.
DENTISTRY,
L--:. dMhUSlawZ*
r t• Jsr
DR, L. T. BURNS has permanently 'oeatcd in
Tunkbanpock Jjoruugh, and rcspectluily tenders
his ptefMSional services to its citizens.
Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr.
Uihnan.
v6n3Gtf. . •
PORTRAIT,IUFIDSCAPE,
OEET AIMENTT All
3?2XTJMTIiVG,
Sty 7t\ HUG EH, Artist.
Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Brick Block,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
Life-size Portraits painted frotn Ambrotypes or
Photographs —Photographs Painted in Oil Cilors —
All orders for paintings executed according to or
der, or no charge made.
J'JY Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching,
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
Colors, and in all branches of the art,
Tunk , July 31, 'fi7 -V5050-tf.
NEW
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting end making clothing
now offers his services in this line to the citizens of
■icnoLsew and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Eits will find his shop the
place to get them.
JOEL, R, SMITH
-nSO-6mos
BOLTON HOUSED
lIAKKISHUftO, PENNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
" BUEHLEK HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render tl ia old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any lio!l in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of IL2 public patronage is refpect
f#lly solicited. GEQ T BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL-.
£ATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
FV N KHAN NOCK, WVOMIKG CO., PA.
TltPl establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style. Every attention
nil be given to the comfort and convenience of those
W'AO patronize the If"use.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor:
Tunkhannock, September 11, 1861.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MKSUOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA.
Win. 11. CORTRICHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
sender the house an agreeable place ol sojourn U>
Oil who way favor it with their custom.
Wm H. CORTRIGIIT.
Jure, 3rd, 1863
MEANS' HOTEL.
TOWANDA, PA.
JB B- BAIITI.ET,
(Late ot I*. BBKAIJIABD HOUSE, ELMIKA, N Y.
I'ROPRIRTOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, is one of the LARGEST
and BUSfT ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
is fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
and no paius are spued to ,c.ako it a pleaseut anil
Agfter.blo Rtoppngi riico fur alf,
vfl-c?Ry
Yu TUB peculiar taint or
fs infection which wo
C (l % SCROFULA lurks
in the constitutions of
ay multitudes of men. It
o either produces or is
1PV | produced by an en
r.l'eeblcd. vitiated state
£ , ifeof the blood, wherein
fluid becomes in-
K vital forces in their
v igorous action, and
SLL™®" eaves the system to
V v£~3i--^ s *— fell into disorder and
decay. The scrofulous contamination is va
riously caused by mercurial disease, low
living, disordered digestion from unhealthy
food, impure air, filth and filthy habits,
the depressing vices, and, above all, by
the venereal infection. Whatever be its
origin, it is hereditary in the constitution,
descending "from parents to children unto
the third and fourth generation;" indeed, it
seems to be the rod of Him who says, " I will
vi>it the iniquities of the fathers upon their
children." The diseases it originates take
various names, according to the organs it
attacks. In the lungs, Scrofula produces
tubercles, and finally Consumption; in the
glands, swellings which suppurate and be
come ulcerous sores; in the stomach onil
bowels, derangements which produce indi
gestion, dyspepsia, and liver complaints; on
the skin, eruptive and cutaneous affections.
These, all having the same origin, require tho
same remedy, viz., purification nnd invigora
tion of the bloo-.1. l'urify the blood, nnd
these dangerous distempers leave you. With
feeble, foul, or corrupted blood, you cannot
have health; with that "life of the flesh"
healthy, you cannot have scrofulous disease.
Ayor's Sarsaparilla
is compounded from the most effectual anti
dotes that medical science has discovered for
this afflicting distemper, and for the cure of
the disorders it entails. That it is far supe
rior to any oilier remedy yet devised, is
known by all who have given it a trial. That
it does combine virtues truly extraordinary
in their effect upon this class of complaints,
is indisputably proven by the great multitude
of publicly known and remarkable cures it
has made of the Nil lowing diseases: King's
Evil, or Glandular Swellings, Tumors,
Eruptions, Pimples, Blotches and Sores,
Erysipelas, Rose or St. Anthony's Fire,
Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Coughs from
tuberculous deposits in tho lungs, White
SwelliEgs, Debility, Dropsy, Neuralgia,
Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Syphilis and
Syphilitic Infections, Mercurial Diseases,
Female Weaknesses, and, indeed, the w hole
series of complaints that arise from impurity
of the blood. Minute reports of individual
cases may be found in AYEK'S AMERICAN
ALMANAC, which is furnished to the druggists
for gratuitous distribution, wherein may bo
learned the directions for its use, ana some
of the remarkable cures which it has made
when ail other remedies had failed to afford
relief. Those cases are purposely taken
from all sections of the country, in order
that every reader nuiv have access to some
one who can sjic-ak to liim of its benefits from
personal experience. Scrofula depresses the
vital energies, and thus leaves its victims far
more subject to disease and its fatal results
than are healthy constitutions. Hence it
tends to shorten, and does greatly shorten,
the average duration of human life. The
vast importance of these considerations has
led us to spend years in perfecting a remedy
which is adequate l to its cure. This we now
offer to the public under the name of Avtu's
FVAIISAI'AHIJ.I.A, although it is composed of
ingredients, some of which exceed the best
of Sarsapai lila in alterative power, lly its
uid you may protect yourself from the suffer
ing and danger of these disorders, l'urge
out the- foul corruptions that rot and fester
in the blood, purge Out the causes of disease,
and vigorous health will follow. By its pecu
liar riiiucs this remedy stimulates the vital
functions, and thus expels the distempers
which lqrk within the system or burst out
on any part of it.
We know the public have heen deceived
hy many Compounds of Sarsajxtrilla, that
promised much and did nothing; but they
will neither be deceiveil nor disappointed in
this. Its virtues have been proven by abun
dant trial, and there remains no question of
its surpassing, excellence for the cure of the
afflicting disease* it is intended to rcacii.
Although under the same name, it is a very
different medicine from any other which has
been before lite peuple, anil is far more cf
fottu.il than any other which luu ever botn
Rvailublo to the in.
AYER'S
CHERRY PECTORAL,
Tlio World's Great Remedy for
Coughs, Colds, Incipient Con
sumption, and for tno relief
of Consumptive patients
in advanced stages
cf the disease.
This has been so long used and so uni
versally known, that we need do no more
than assure the public that its quality is kept
up to the la st it ever has been, and that it
may be relied on to do all it has ever done.
Frepared by Da. J. C. AYER & Co.,
J'racticcU and Analytical
Lowell, Mass. '
Sold by all druggists every where.
For sale byßunnell A Bannatyne, and Lyman A
Whlls, Tunkhnnnork, Sterling A Son, Meshoppen,
Stevens A Ackley, Laeeyville, Frear, Dsan A Co.,
Faetoryvilla, and all Druggists and Deulsrs in med
einea, everywhere.
I ceth positively Extracted
WITHOUT PAIN!
NEW PHOCIiP.
|Sf
SO INJURIOUS TO
TO HEALTH
AN LIFE.
This Substance is applied directly fe d"!
producing a r.nmbness <l.-cal Anaesthesia)
nrta around the tootb, whereby it can be extracted
without any pain whatever, and without unpleasant
oees TE tho Patient:
CALL AT MY OFFICE AND BE CONVINCED.
J. J. SEl'MOrit,
Surgeon Dentist,
Laeeyville, Pa.—v7n£ 3t:
THE HEALING POOL,
AND nOUSE OF MERCV.
Howard Association Keports, for YOKN, 0
MEN on the CKIMK OF SOLITUDE, and the ER
RORS, Alii SK- and DISEASES which destroy the
manly fwer, and create impediments to MAK"
RIAGE, with sure means of relief. Sent in sea.ea
letter, envelopes, free of charge. Address I)r ; J.
SKILLKN HOUGHTON, Howard AasectaUon,
Philadelphia. Pa.
Ond-l-lyear
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, JAN. 1, 1868.
THE STAMMERING WIFE.
BY ROHX B- SAXS.
When deeply in loro with Miss Emily Prins,
I vowed if the lady would only b* mine
I would always endeavor to please her.
She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass
Said never a word except "You're an ass—
An osi— an ass-idious teaxer !"
But when we were married I found to my ruth,
The stammering lady had spoken the truth ;
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She'd say—if I ventured to giver her a jog
In the way of reproof— you're a dog-dog-dog—
A dog—a dog -inatic curmudgeon.''
And once when I said, "We can hardly afford
This extravagant stylo with our moderator board,
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure yeu, exceedingly blue,--
And fretfully cried, "You're a Jew-Jsw-Jsw—
A very ju-dieious adviser."
Again, when it happened that wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighb or.
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cus-cus cus—
You were always ac cus-tomed to labor 1"
Oat of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling the woman was greatly to blame,
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimmicked her speech—like a churl that I am—
And angrily said you're a dam-dam-dam—•
A dam-age instead of a biasing !"
CROWDING A BACHELOR. —"What did
you come here after inquired Miss Su
snn Draper, of a bachelor friend who made
her a call when the rest of the folks were
gone oat.
• 4 I came to borrow some matches," he
meekly replied,
"Matches ! that's a likely story. Why
don't you make I .TATCH ? I know what
you came for," exclaimed U.O Jeluriited
Miss ss she crowded the old bachelor into
a corner, 44 you came to bug and kiss me
almost to death, but you shan't unless you
•arc the strongest, and the Lord knows you
are."
"Sir," said one of the two antagonists,
with great dignity, to the other, during
a dispute which had not been confined to
words, "you have called me a liar and a
scoundrel ; you have spit in my face; you
have struck me twice. I hope you will
not rouse the sleeping lion in my breast,
for if you should, I cannot tell what msy
be the consequences."
Tho Yelverton divorce case paper weighs
nearly a tou. . ±
_ INtg.
THE THREE SKATERS.
Like clouds they scud across the ice,
His hands hold hers as in a vice ;
The moonlight strikes the hack-blown hair.
Of handsome Madge and Rupert Clare,
The Ice responds beneath the steel ;
It groans to feel its spurning heel ;
While ever with the following wind
A shadowy skater flits behind,
"Why skate wn thus so far from land 7
Oh ! Rupert Clare, let go my hand !
I cannot see, I cannot hear—
The wind about me moans with fear 1"
Ilis band is stiller than a vice,
His touch is colder than the ice,
His face if paler than the moon,
That pares with light the lone lsgoon I
"Oh ! Rupert Clare, I feel—l trace
A something awful in your face !
You crush my hand—you sweep me on—
Until my breath and sense are gone !"
His grasp is stiffer than a rice,
His touch is colder than the iee ;
She only hears the ringing tune
Of skates upon the lone lsgoon
"Oh ! Rapert Clare ! sweet Rupert Clare
For Heaven's mercy, hear my prayer !
I could not .help my heart, you know —
Poor Willy Gray—he loves me so !"
•
His grip is stiller than the vice ;
His lip is bluer than the ice ;
While ever thrills the ringing ton*
Of skates along the lone lagoun,
"Oh ! Rupert Clare where aro you eyes 7
The rotten ica before you lies !
You dastard I Lo. se your hold I say I
O, God ! Where are you, Willy Gray 7"
A shriek that seemed to split the sky—
A wilder light in Rupert's eye—
She cannot—cannot loose that grip :
Ilis sinewy arm is round her hip !
But like an arrow on the wind
The shadowy skater sends behind ;
The lithe ice rises to the stroke
01 steel-shod heels that seem in smoke.
He hurls himself upon the pair-
He tears his bride from Rupert Clare—
His fainting Madge, whose moist eyes say,
Ab ! here at last is Willy Gray.
The lovers stand with hoart to heart—
"No more," they cry, "no more we part !"
But still along the lone lagoon
The steel skatos ring a ghostly tun# I
And in the moonlight pale and cold,
The panting lovers still behold
The self-appointed sacrifice-
Skating towards the rotton ice !
•' To Bpeak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
THE BLIND SINGER OF THE CA
THREDAL.
BY F. 11. STAUFFEIi.
A stranger stoo I within the cathedral at
Rheiuis, lie was leaning against a pillar,
perfectly motionless except occasionally
drawing a glove which he held in one
band, klly through the other. His attitude
was expressive of gracefulness, and his face
was caloulated to make one turn and look
at it again, even in casually meeting him
on the street. It was a youthful face, to a
certain degree childish ; and yet there was
something about the thin lips expressive of
will and energy, His forehead was high
and white, gleaming out from a mass of
raven hair ; his eves were dark, bedewed
with a sort of languor ; such eyes as al
ways speak the truth, and dee|>en into a
warmer glow when they meet your own.
Though richly dressed, there was nothing
of the fop about him. lie wore no jewel- J
ry beyond the small diamond ring that
shone upon the ungloved hand.
His eye was drinking in the scene around
him. The paiutiugs, the works ot the fa
mous artists of the olden time—the massive
doric pillars, the richly frescoed ceiling,
the tcssclated aisles, the narrow pews of j
polished walnut, the pulpit of porphyry, j
ornamented with Latin inscriptions and
cherub faces—the windows of stained glass,
the sombre organ with its high lluted front; ]
as he calmly surveyed these, and felt the
holy presence that filled the pal;K:e, a beau
tiful placidness rested upon his featueis,
and more than one girlish face was turned
at furtive moments towards his.
The ceremony was drawing to a close,
and the de< p, solemn tones of the organ
floated through the church. It was a mas
ter hand that touched the keys. Music
seemed to assume personification in that,
dim old room. Now the tones were loud, !
Tevorbefating, then low, soft, flute-like, and
ever and anon changing from allegro
adanfe, in which the improvised introduc
tories seemed more cnclrmting than either.
The playing was superb—and yet it was
not that which made him bend his head
more attentively, and a brighter light to
irradiate his face. It was toe soprano voice
in the choir that was touching bis heart
with its exquisite sweetness. lie seemed
to hold his breath lest the smallest intorva-
melodious voice it was. Others had list
ened to its witchery, and had felt their
worship touched by a better inspiration.
It rose and fell in a sort of easy volupt
uousness. When it trembled it was the
tremor of pathos, and w hen it changed to
its rigidness, it was thcassurar.cc, the pos
itiveness of faith.
The young man looked up at the choir,
and among the array of beauty there, his
keen eye detected the singer. Her face
was upturned, her eyes were closed, and
the light f:om the window oyer head seem
ed to change into spiritual radiancy as it
fell around her.
After the closing of the ceremony, the
young tyan waited at the foot of the nar
row stairs leading from the gallery. The
singer was leaning upon her father's arm,
and her eyes were still closed.
She was blind /
The young man was startled at first when
this fact dawned upon his mind, but as he
took another glance at that sweet face, his
heart went out toward her with a yet
warmer glow.
It was an ova! face, and spiritually fair;
the skin was almost transparent, and the
velvet lips were tinged with vermillion.—
Iler form was well developed, every mo
tion expressive of grace, and the beauty of
her attire consisted in its simplicity alone ;
almost anv other fabric or airanjjiment
would hav4uAn in antagonisn) With that
trusting, child-like face. Her dress was of
plain calico, unadorned by jewelry, while
a shawl of a sort of neutral lint was thrown
negligently over her shoulders, partly con
cealing her full ripe bust, and covering but
to the elbow the plump, snowy arm that
rested within her father's;
******
Earnest Ilarcourt, the young stranger,
was seated beside the blind singer of the
catlircdal. One arm was thrown confid
ingly around his neck, while the face up
turned to his was lightened with the new
life that had been born in her soul. They
were in an artist's studio, and a face, a very,
prototype of the blind girl's, that rested
against the easel, told the story of hours of
such communions.
" Miriam, my beloved," spoke the young
man, 44 you must be ray wife. You must
come to tny home."
44 And my father Ernest ? 0! I cannot
leave him !"
your home and his."
44 Ernest, I know I love you. I cannot
see your face ; I cannot see your eye kin
dle wbepyou speak; but I can hear your
voice and feel your warm caress. There
is, too, R spiritual essence about yon that
draws me towards you, and that lolls my
instinct, and assures my reason, that you
are all that is toble and true. Bit, think
of it, Ernest! I— but a poor, ignorant
blind girl —A very child !"
44 For this do I love yon above aught
else. You are not ignorant. 1 have sat
at your feet for hours, a quiet, listening
pupil. You have revealed to me how
beautiful I can make my life. You have
turned my aspirations towards all that is
noble and grand. Floating, idly on the
sea of life, a reckless, aimless voyager, did
you not come to me and direct me in the
beatcu channel — becoming to me compass
chart and guide.? You are blind ! Should
1 uot love you all the more for that?" Let
my eyes be your eye 3. I will bo sight uu-
to you, the same as you have been spirit
ual sight unto me."
" But your family, Ernest. What will
your sister say when you bring home a
fragile, blind, portionless girl 1"
" My sister Ella is a WOMAY, Miriam—
kind, loviug, appreciating — subject to de
licious transports, happy in her organism,
and a dreamer of beautiful dreams. Had
you not one redeeming quality, she would
love you for my sake alone.
#**•*
" Ella, this is my wife 1"
This was all that Ernest Ilarteourt said.
I The driver was unstrapping the trunks
from the coach, and was placing them on
the giaveied walk. Ernest was standing
on the verandah, with his beautiful wife
leaning on his arm.
" Welcome home, MV sister. I can speak
those words with a willing heart to any
bride my dear brother would bring to his
I home."
| " Thank yon, thank yon, Ella ; and be
foro many days you shall say it for MY
sake, O ! how kind and sweet your voice
is ! 1 wish I could sec your face and look
into your eyes !"
ll was a touching sight to see those two
women weeping in each other's arms, just
J as if that friendship had been a friendship
of many yeais. Ella's face was beautiful,
but ot a different style from Miriam's. It
was full of freshness, and verging as close
upon boldness as any face dare verge and
| vet be thoroughly feminine. It was an in
| tellectuaHaee, classic and prominent in its
outline, with tempting lips, black eyes, and
hair dark and luxuriant, a vexation, to the
white fingers that daily essayed to bring it
into a semblance of staidness.
And Ella did learn to love that sweet
girl for herself alone. She was so kind, so
beautiful, so trusting! Ella grew better
from hor companionship ; and Miriam gui
ded her in just the same quiet way, seem
ingly passive and yet positive withal that
she guided Ernest.
The latter was very happy; his aristo
cratic friends wondered at his choice, but
that was nothing to him. He loved his
wife, and the warm, gushing manner in
which she reciprocated il, was more than
life to him.
Often, in the still summer evenings, her
voice would steal out on the air, echoing in
the groves, and floating among the shrub
the frescoed dome of the cathedral at
llhcims.
•**••
Again Ernest Ilarcourt stood on the ver
andah. while the stage described a half
circle in front OF THE door. Ho had been
absent for a month, and his sister Ella
again met him at the door. There was
something very warm in her greeting, and
her eyes twinkled with a more tbau com
mon meaning.
44 llow is Miriam J" he asked.
"Quite well. She is waiting for you in
the parlor."
She led the way into the room. Miriam
was sitting on the sofa. The lashes of
those closed lids were lying like a shadow
upon her fair cheek. Eruest came up to
her and took her hand.
44 Well," he said, kindly, "bow is my
little blind wife ?"
4I Very glad to see her dear huband I"
He started at the significance of tho
words — but more so when a pair of sweet
brown eyes flashed their radiancy into his
face. They were welling in liquid light—
on fire with a freshness come to them after
years of dull heavy darkness.
44 Miriam, Miriam, how is this ?"
Ernest knelt at her feet; he took her
joyfully in his arms and covered her cheeks
and lips with kisses.
14 All 1 know is, ' that whereas I was
blind, 1 now see.' "
41 Blessed be God for this I" said Ernest.
" Miriam's blindness was brought upon
her through sickness, when she was about
seven years old," said Ella. " When I be
came anare of this, I consulted Dr. M ,
the celebrated optician. He examined her
eyes and said that he could restore her
sight, and he has done so."
44 Ernest, do you love me more now ? '
Miriam took his hand and looked up in
to his face:
44 No, not more — but I am 60 happy —
happy for your sake Miriam."
HUMILITY. —If thou art a vessel of gold,
and thy brother but of wood, be not high
minded ; it is God that maketh thee to dif
fer ; the more bounty God shows, toe more
humility lie requires; those mines that
are richest are deepest ; those that are
highest seem smallest; the goodliest
building has the lowest foundation ;
the more God honoreth men, the more
tlicy should huinblo themselves ; the more
fruit, the lower the branch on which it
grows: pride is ever the companion of
einpliness. Oh how full was the apostle,
yet how low was his language of himself,
—least of all saints, last of all apostles,
chief of sinners ; no sufficiency to think, no
abilities to do ; all that he is, he is by
divine grace,
marriage of Edward A, Flint
to Miss Henrietta Steel SHOWS that the
spark produced "a tender glow."
—
JKT It is better to sow a young heart
with generous thoughts and deeds than a
field with com, since the hearts harvest is
perpetual.
It is now stated that the European
Conference will meet not at Munich, but
in Paris. England still hesitates, and de
mands explanations before she will give
| her official couacut.
KKEP YOUR SCRAP BOOKS. —Every one
who takes a newspaper which he in the
least degree appreciates will often ferret to
see any one number thrown aside for waste
paper, which contains some mterresting and
important articals. A good way toprfcserve
these is by tho use of a scrap book. Ooc
who has never been accustomed thus to
preserve short articles can hardly estimate
the pleasure it affords to sit down and tarn
over the pleasant, familiar pages. Hero a
choice piece of poetry meets the eye, which
you remember you were so glad to see in
the paper, but which you long since bad
lost had it not been for your scrap book.—
There is a witty anecdote, it does you good
to laugh over it yet, though for the twenti
eth time. Next is a valuable receipt yoa
had almost forgotten, and which you found
just in time to save much perplexity, There
is a sweet story, the memory of which has
cheered and encouraged you many a time
when almost ready to despair under the
pressure of life's cares and trials. Indeed,
you can hardly take upasingle paper with
out re-perusing. Just glance over the sheet
before yon and see how maoy valuable items
it contains that would be of service to you
a hundred times in life. A choice thought
is far more precious than a bit of glittering
gold. Hoard with care the precious gems,
and sec at the end of the year what rich
treasure you have accumlated.
A CAUTIOUS JUDGE. —An Irish Jadge
tried two notorious fellows for highway rob
bery. To the astonishment of the court as
well as of the prisoners themselves, they
were found not guilty. As they were being
removed from the bar, the judge, addressing
the jailor, said : "Mr. Murphy, you wonld
keep those two respectable gentlemen until
seven or half past seven o' clock, for I mean
to set out for Dublin at five, and I should
like to have at least two hours start of them.
EATING AT THE WRONO TIME.— It is
very wrong to load the stomach with food
while the body is fatigued. Men will come
from their shops and counters with their
bodies or brains almost exhausted, sit down
and hurriedly eat a hearty meal and then
return to their labor. If any part or organ
of the body becomes unduly fatigued, the
whole system requires rest J so that the
nervous influence and the circulation of the
blood may become equalized before another
demand is made upon the vital energies.
ETIQUETTE ON STREET ,„ V
of gentlemen towards ladies on street cars
is just now attracting considerable attention
and discussioD, Corry O, Lanus the quaiot
humorist, in a discussion whether the ladies
ought to have seats, says : "I believe they
ought. I a' ways side with the ladies.
When lamina crowded car, and a lady
comes in, I think it is the duty of some other
man to get up and give her his seat. I
look around in the car to see if any man in
the crowd looks like making a move in that
direction, aud when I see them all keep their
seats, I bury myself in my newspaper and
blush for my sex.
Some of your male correspondents think
that the ladies ought to thank us for giving
up our seats. Ladies, don,t you be impozed
upon by any such idea. Get the gentlemen
in the hsbit of being thanked, and they'll
expect iL"
ONE is not sure that he gazes on a picture
of perfection when he sees a well gotten up
woman. A fine form, a heavy suit of hair
a transparent complexion — all are so com
mon now-a-daya that they arc no longer
appreciated with the same intense -enthusb
astic emotions of admiration that they
formerly excited. Not that they have
ceased to be admired —O, no ! But simply
because any woman may have them. W hat
with enamels, eye liquid, false hair, corsets
pulpitators, false calves, bustles,
how can a man teil when to admire ? How
can he distinguish between a skeleton and
genuine natural beauty. Here is a great
risk to run. It beats lotteries or faro. Sup
pose a man wishes to marry — he finds a
pretty girl, but can't go the chaDces. why
There is no way in the world to find whether
she is artificial or natural.
ACORBESPOKDENT writing from Wiscon
sin says ;
At the junction, a clean, well dressed mtn
attempted to enter the rear car of the train,
but was stopped by the brakeman and told
to go to the Dext car forward as the rear one
wus reserved for ladies, and gentlmen ac
companied by ladies. A merry twinkle
was in the young man's eye as he stepped
from the car to the platform. He walked
straight to a robust and somewhat remark
able female representative from the land of
shamrock, and very corteously offered to
assist her, in transporting her bundles,
which were neither few nor slight, to the
train. The words "may the Lord bless
your honor," were the only ones which
reached me ; bat it was evident that his
kind offices were accepted. Then, after
some conversation in an under tone, the
pair who had so recently, and in plain view
of Mr. Brakeman, become travelling com
panions, approached tho forbidden car.
When about to enter, the brakeman inter
posed his person, and directed them to go
to the next car. The man insisted that
his lady and himself had under the rule
laid down, a right to enter. The biakeman
replied :' 4 It is not your lady." The trav
eler, turning confidently to his new found
appendage, asked, in the most whinning
way, " Arn't you. my dear ?"[The woman
had cheeks like a cheese-rind, and nose
like a piece of decayed beefsteak ] Clear,
and to the point came the answer, 44 Shure
I am, dariifit." There was no resisting such
proofs, and the pair marched in triumph to
a seat, amidst roars of laughter from the
passengers, who had been attentive spec
tators of the scene,
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
' NO. 21.
| pise anil gttjtmfoUf. •>
j A lady asked a minister whether a pefsbd
, might net be fond of drew and
withoat being proud. "Madam," said that
minister, "when you see a fox's tail pvepjpg
out of a bole, yon may be sure that the foi* is
i within." * "
i *. * ba
Sach is the blessing of a benevolent bsart,
let tbe world frown aa it will, it canaot.paat*
aibijr bereave It of all happiness, since it enw
rejoice in the prosperity of others, >u
tun tJmxr.D THING,—A prococious speci
men of Yoong America got lost at a county
fair in New York, and went bawling arounif
rtnch to the annoyance of sotfte quiet peopfe'/
who impaired tbe cause of tbe gfief. lie
answered with snppressed sobs : "£waut my
mammy, that's what's tbe matter. I told the l
darned thing she'd lose the.'* • , -,oyib
~t •. T " ■ r
A lemonless Irishman was observed one
evening slicing a potato into a glass, of hot
whisky toddy.
"Why, what are you about?" inquire^
Charley.
"Its punch I'm makin, dear /" quietly re
plied Pat.
"But what are you slicing that for V •
" To give it a flavor." • ■■*
"What ! a potato flavor ?"
"Sure, and isn't a flavor a flavor, whether
it's lemon or piiaty ?"'
?srr
Tbe Surgeon of an English ship of war used
to preacribe salt water fir his patients in all
disorders. Having sailed one evening, on a
party of pleasure, he happened, by some mis
chance, to be drowned. The captain who
had not heard of the disaster, asked one of
the tars that day if he bad seen anything of
the doctor.
"Yes," answered Jack ; "he was drowned
last night in his own medicine chest ?" j
What is tbe difference between an editor
and a wifo ? One sets articles to rights, and
the other writes articles to set.
A person was boasting that he sprang fronr
have seen some of the aame family ao high
that their feet could not touch tbe ground.
GENUINE FOOLS —lie who wipes his now
cn a nutmeg-grater, and picks Lis teeth with
a razor.
She who says "no" to a proposal of a gen
tleman when 6he has reached tho age of
thirty. "■
lie who gets so drunk at night that he
puts his clothes to lied, and hang* himself otf
the back of the chair.
Sho who rubs her cheeks with brickbats ia
order to give them color.
, * r
110 who put OD his hat and takes his cane,
and starts out in pursuit of aft honest and
disinterested politician.
She who pinches and slaps a child to make
it quit bawling.
KISSING A YANKEE TAII.OR' Wire.—Wil
liam the IV., Fate King of England, when
Prince of Wales, and daring his service off
the coait of Canada, made an excursion into
Upper Canada, and crossed over to the State
of Vermont, fie entered a Tailor shop, asd
on seeing the tailor's wife, and exceedingly
beautiful woman,he without eeremony ravish
ed a kiss from the lady,, ami remarked :
"There no, tell your country woman that
the son of the King of England, has kissed a
Yankee tailor's wife."
Unbapily for him at that moment her has*
band, the tailor,appeared from the back reom
and being a stout fellow, gave the scioo of
royalty a tremendous kick and exclaimed.
"There go and tell your country women
that a Yankee tailor has kicked the son of
tbo King of England. 1
X SAW HER BUT A MOMENT.
- She wore a handsome crinoline on the day
when first we met: and she scudded like a
schooner, with a cloud of canvass set. As she
swept along the pavements, with a grandeur
fk to kill, I saw her but—a moment, yet tao
tbinks I see ber still.
The wind was on a bender, and aw saucy
as a witch, and it played the very dickens
with dust, dimity and siob. The gaiters
were delicious, which her feet were made to
fill—l saw ber but—a moment, yst methiaks
I see her still.
She scocted round the corner, and stream
ing out behiud, her crinoline and calico were
romping in the wind ; to have kept them in
position would have baffled twice her skill
1 saw her but—a moment,yet methhAs I sea
ber still. t . , -r
I shut my eyes trcmenjus, for I didn't
wsnt to see, a display of pretty ankles when
it wasn't meant for me ; and until I loose my
senses lam sure I never will—l saw her but
a moment, yet methinks I see ber still.
A noble lord asked & clergyman onceatths
bottom of his table, why the gooao, if there
was one, was always placed next to the par
son. "Really," he said, "I can give no rea
son for it ; but your question is so odd that
I shall never see s goose again without think
ing of yoor lordship."
_.
Ceremony is a plant that will novor grow
in a strong soil.