llpming lemoctftt.
HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher.
VOL. VII.
pptniug flfmocrai
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paper, devoted to Poli
•ad Sciences Ac. Pub- "
day, at Tunkhannock "" H ppWl'
IY HARVEY SICKIER '**'
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Business Notices,
RR.&WE. LITTLE, ATTORNEYS AT
LAW Office on Tioga Stroet Tunkhannock Pa
H S.COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
L, PA RII IS H, ATTORNEY AT LAW
• Office at the Court House, in Tunkhannock
Wyoming Co, l'.
iriW. M . PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of
\\ fice n Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
aannock, Pa.
JW . RHOADS, PHYSICIAN A SCR GEO N
• will attend promptly to all calls in his pro
fession, May be found at his Office at the Drug 1
Su.re, or at his residence on I'utihan Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq.
DENT,STRY
DR. L T. BURNS has permanently located in
Tunkhannock Borough, and respectfully tenders
his professional services to its citizens.
Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr.
Wilman.
6n3otf.
PORTRAIT,"LANDSCAPE,
AID
OEIUME2HIL
l3E*.A.T*ffX TVTO,
liy W. 'JtUGE'/t, Artist.
Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Brick Block,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
Life-size Portraits painted from Ainbrntypes or
Photographs—Photographs Painted in Oil Colors, —
All orders for paintings executed according to or
der, or Docharge made.
JEW Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching,
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
Colors, and in all branches of the art,
Tunk , July 3!, '67 -vguoO-tf.
NEW
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing
now offers his services in this line to the citizens of
■ icHouaoH and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his shop the
place to get them.
JOEL, R, SMITH
-nSO-6mos
BOLTON HOUSE.
HARRISBURO, PENNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
" BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the pnblic patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TU N KIIAN Si OCR, WYOMING CO., PA.
TTIIS establishment has recently been refitted an
A furnished in the latest style. Every attention
wiil be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the House
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor-;
Tunkhannock, September 11. 1861.
NORTH GRANCH HOTEL,
MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Wm. H. CORTRIGHT, PropT
H A ™ r#,ume d the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
lender the boose an agreeable place of sojourn to
all who may favor it with their custom.
. * WM U - CORTRIGHT.
Jane, 3rd, 1663
MEANS' HOTEL7
OWA3VTDA, PA.
P. B- BARTLET,
{Late of c a BBRAINAHD HOUSE, ELMIBA, N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, is one of the LARGEST
*nd BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
' nued up in the moet modern and improved style,
•al n<> pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
•greeabi,, stopping-place for ell,
ry "k, Ty
y>. THE peculiar taint or
infection which we
call SCBOFULA lurka
In the constitutions of
5N multitudes of men. lb
either produces or ia
feeblcd, vitiated state
1 blood, wherein
*r/rai t ' ,at becomes in
"Jpyb| H$ M9r sl com f p t cnt to sustain
rfe3r v 'tal forces in tlieir
vigorous action, and
the system to
fall into disorder and
decay. Tlie scrofulous contamination is va
riously caused by mercurial disease, low
living, disordered digestion front unhealthy
food, impure air, filth and filthy habits,
the depressing vices, and, above all, by
the venereal infection. Whatever be its
origin, it is hereditary in the constitution,
descending " from parents to children unto
the third and fourth generation;" indeed, it
seems to be the rod of Hint who says, " I will
visit the iniquities of the fathers upon their
children." The diseases it originates take
various names, according to the organs it
attacks. In the lungs, Scrofula produces
tubercles, and finally Consumption; in the
glands, swellings wliich suppurate and be
come ulcerous sores; in the stomach and
bowels, derangements which produce indi
gestion, dyspepsia, and liver complaints; on
the skin, eruptive and cutaneous affections.
These, all having the same origin, require the
same remedy, viz., purification and invigora
tion of the blood. Purify the blood, and
these dangerous distempers leave you. With
feeble, foul, or corrupted blood, you cannot
have health; with that "life of the flesh"
healthy, you cannot have scrofulous disease.
Ayer'a Sarsaparilla
is compounded from the most effectual anti
dotes that medical science has discovered for
this afflicting distemper, and for the cure of
the disorders it entails. That it is far supe
rior to any other remedy yet devised, is
known by all who have given it a trial. That
it does combine virtues truly extraordinary
in their effect upon this class of complaints,
is indisputably proven by the great multitude
of publicly known and remarkable cures it
has made of the following diseases: King's
Evil, or Glandular Swellings, Tumors,
Eruptions, Pimples, Blotches and Sores,
Erysipelas, Rose or St Anthony's Fire,
Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Coughs from
tuberculous deposits in the lung 3, White
Swellings, Debility, Dropsy, Neuralgia,
Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Syphilis and
Syphilitic Infections, Mercurial Diseases,
Female Weaknesses, and, indeed, the whole
series of complaints that arise from impurity
of the blood. Minute reports of individual
cases may be found in AVKR'H AMERICAN
ALMANAC, which is furnished to the druggists
for gratuitous distribution, wherein may bo
learned the directions for its use, and some
of the remarkable cures which it has made
when all other remedies had failed to afford
relief. Those cases are purposely taken
from all sections of the country, in order
that every reader may have access to some
one who can speak to him of its benefits from
personal experience. Scrofula depresses the
vital energies, and thus leaves its victims far
more subject to disease and its fatal results
than are healthy constitutions. Hence it
tends to shorten, and does greatly shorten,
the average duration of human life. The
vast importance of these considerations has
led us to spend years in perfecting a remedy
which is adequate to its cure. This wo now
offer to the public under the name of ATLR'S
SABSAPABILLA, although it is composed of
ingredients, some of which exceed the best
of Sarsaparilla in alterative power. By its
aid you may protect yourself from the suffer
ing and danger of these disorders, lhirge
out the foul corruptions that rot and fester
in the Mood, purge out the causes of disease,
and vigorous health will follow. By its pecu
liar virtues this remedy stimulates the vital
functions, and thus expels the distempers
which lurk within the system or hurst out
on any part of it.
We know the public have been deceived
by many compounds of Sarsaparilla, that
promised much and did nothing; but they
will neither lie deceived nor disappointed in
this. Its virtues have been proven by abun
dant trial, and there remains no question of
its surpassing excellence for the cure of the
afflicting diseases it is intended to reach.
Although under the same name, it is a very
different medicine from any other which has
been before the people, and is far more ef
fectual than any other which has ever been
available to them.
AYER'B
CHERRY PECTORAL,
The World's Great Remedy for
Coughs, Colds, Incipient Con
sumption, and for the relief
of Consumptive patients
in advanced stages
of the disease.
This has been so long used and so uni
versally known, that we need do no more
than assure the public that its quality is kept
up to the best it ever has been, and that it
may be relied on to do all it has ever done.
Prepared by DA. J. C. ATEB & Co.,
Practical and Analytical Chemist*,
Lowell. Maes.
Sold by all druggists every where.
For sale b.vßunnell A Bannatyne, and Lyman A
While, Tunkhanoock. Sterling A Son, Meshoppen,
Stevens A Ackley, Laceyville, Frear, I)san A Co ,
Factoryville, and all Druggjsts and Deuliu in med
icines, everywhere.
Teeth Positively Extracted
WITHOUT PAIN!
NEW PROCESS.
NEITHER CLOROFORM, ETHER,
NOR GAS, WHICH ARE
SO INJURIOUS TO
TO HE A L TH
AN LIFE.
This Substance is applied directly to the gum*
producing a numbness (local Anaesthesia) of only the
parts around the tooth, whereby it can be extracted
without any pain whatever, and without unpleasant
ness to the Patient:
CALL AT MY OFFICE AND BE CONVINCED.
J-. J~. SETMOUE,
Surgeon Den/is/,
Laeeyville, P.--v7no-3m:
FOR NON-RETENTION on INCONTINENCE
of Urine, irritation, inflamation or ulceration of the
bladder, of kidneys, diseases of the prostrate glands,
stone in the bladder, calaulaa, gravel or brick dust
deposits, and all diseasea ot the bladder, kidneys,
and dropsical awelllings.
LAI HNLMNETU'I FLCID EXMUCT BrtiV.
ENFEEBLED AND DELICATE CONSTITU
TION3,of bolh sexes, use Ilelmbold's Extract, Bu
chu. Itwil eerisk andgive energetic feelings an
•owWef m te rienp veil.
TDNKHAINOCK, WYOI
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BEAU.
0 dear ! 0 dear ! there's just one thing
I'd truly love to know —
Why can't I have, like other g'rls,
A yonng and handsome beau !
There's Sallie Jones, and Nattie Smith,
And freckled Susie Crow,
A trio like the Gorgon Maids,
Yet each one has a beau !
But here's poor me as fair as a flower
As ever chanced to blow—
My winning voice and sweet beguile*
All fail to catch a beau !
1 dress as neat,'and smile as sweet
Aa any girl I know.
Yet, as I live, I do believe
I'll never get a beau !
I'm always found in best attire,
Wherever gents may go,
Yet not ODe chap in all the lot
Asks me to be my beau !
Confound such men, such silly dolts-
How very dull and low,
To stand and look, to grin and squint-
Afraid to be a oeau !
Just listen to me, ye gawky clowns,
Now don't you fully know,
That you should be, each one of you,
Some lair young lady's beau ! (
Then brush your teeth, and oil you! hair,
And let your 'stachios grow,
And turn to be a civil man—
A gay and gallant beau !
UP SALT RIVER.
Come, boys, come the boat is leaving,
All is lost ; 'tis no use grieving ;
Jump on board, each seize an oar.
Up Salt River we go once more.
CHORUS— We're going to row all night,
We're going to row all day ;
We bet our money on tbe wooly horse,
And white men wou the day.
The breeze is up ; then wait no longer,
Every hour the tido grows stronger ;
The Sharswood waves rua mountain high,
And hark, on every side the cry.
CHORUS— We're going to row all night, ±c,
We thought our horse must win this fall,
But find be has no wind at all ;
Oh, had we left the niggci out that bill
Wo might be gaily singing still.
CHORUS— We're goiDg to row all night, Ac.
Then hoist the sails, and bid farewell
To office that we love so well ;
Should aught grow scarce amongst our crew
The Freedman's Bureau will beef us through.
CHORUS— We're going to row all night. Ac.
Quick start, it drives us to despair,
To hear those shoutings rend tbe air ;
Cut the cable, hoist the sails, off she goes,
When we'll get back the d—l only knows.
CHORUS— We're going to row all night, Ac.
Ufacrtlaium
RECEIPT FOR FlTS. —Though no doctor,
I have by me some excellent prescriptions,
and shall charge you nothing for them ;
you cannot grnmble at the price. We are
most of us subject to fits ; I am visited
with them myself, and I dare say you are
also. Now, then for prescriptions ;
For a fit of passion, walk in the open air,
you may speak to the wiod without hurt
ing any one, or proclaiming yourself to he
a simpleton.
For a fit of idleness, count the tickings
of a clock. Do this for one hour, and you
will be glad to pull off your coat the next
time and work like a horse.
For a fit of extravagance or folly, go to
the workhouse, or speak with the ragged
and wretched inmates of a jail, and you
will be convinced—
•' Who maketh his bead of briar and thorn,
Must be content to lie forlorn,"
For a fit of ambition, go into a church
yard and read the gravestones. They will
tell you the end of ambition. The grave
will soon be your chamber-bed, the earth
your pillow, corruption your father, and
the worm your mother and sister.
For a fit of repining, look about for the
halt and the blind, and visit the bed-ridden
and afflicted and deranged, and they will
make yon ashamed of complaining of your
lighter afflictions.
CONCEIT. —HardIy anything is more
contemptible than that conceit which rests
merely upon social position, the conceit of
those who imagine that hey are thus di
vorced from the clay of common men, of
those who shrink with horror from the idea
of work, as something that degrades by its
very contact, and yet, who, very likely,owe
their preseot position to some 'emote an
cestor who, recognizing his call to work,
lived more honestly in tire world than they
do now, and was not ashamed of soiled
thumbs. It is one of the meanest things
for people to be ashamed of the work from
which they draw their income, and which
glorified their ancestors more with their
soiled aprons and black gowns than them
selves with their fine ribbons and flashing
jewelry. It might be a fine thing to be
like tbe lillies,more gloriously arrayed than
Soloman, and doing nothing, if we were :
only lillies. Advantageous position is on-1
ly a more emphatic call to work ; and while j
those who hold the advantage may not be
compelled to manual drudgery, they should \
recognize the fact that manual drndgery
may be performed in the same spirit as that
which characterizes their OWB work, and i
therefore that it is equally honorable. J
" To Speak his Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
IING CO., PA.-WEDNESDAY. NOV. 13, 1807.
A CHAPTER OF HUMOR.
ABOUT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR
BT JOHJT QCILL.
Having nothing in particular to write
about this week, I concluded to do it. The
earth was made from nothing, and man
was made from the earth, consequently wo
all sprang from nothing, and it is surpris
ing how many human beings are true to
their origin, in knowing nothing, doing
nothing, and being good for nothing all
their lives.
Authorities differ, however, in regard to
the origin of man. Some think he is but
the higher grade of * What is it ?" and
others that he is only a fully developed
claim. I incline to the latter opinion in
the case of certain men who fritter away
their lives in folly and dissipation. But
the whole subject is a difficult one, and pe
culiarly so to the unmetaphysical mind.—
This is illustrated in the ease of young
Wilkins, who sought the author of his be
ing with the following inquiry:
" Pap, wern't all men made by Heaven/"
,l es, my child," benignly replied the
paternal Wilkins, "but why do you ask ?"
" Oh, nothing, only I see in the papers
long 'accounts of ' self-made men,' and 1
thought may he some of those fellows had
been gettin' of their own selves up."
This is the brother of that other Wilkins,
baptized Uolfernes Montgomery, who
came home and complained that he didn't
like the arithmetic they had at school, be
cause he couldn't guess the conundrums in
it.
" Conundrums?" exclaimed pater
nal guardian, " whv, Holfernes Montgom
ery W ilkins, what do you mean ? '
" Why, you know that old arithmetic of
ours is full of conundrums,and them things,
and when Mr. Swi&htail asked me ' if 120
bushels of corn will serve 14 horses 56
days, how many days will 94 bushels serve
6 horses?' 1 said* I give it up,' and be
got mad about it, and said I was stupid as
an owl. Then he wanted to know why
forty rods made one rood ? I couldn't
guess it, I can't guess his darned old jokes,
you know, and then he licked me."
" He was only trying to demonstrate,my
child, that while forty rods make one rood,
one rod sometimes makes one polite. Lou
isa remove this child to bed."
This was the same boy who afterwards
got his teacher foul on the question : " If it
takes four nails to make a quarter, how
many carpet tacks will it take to got up a
ten dollar bill /"
A cousin of his only nine years old, be
gan crying piteously, as if his heart would
break, when his father stated that he was
a Republican. His fond mother took him
in her arms, and upon ioquity ascertained
that he was impressed witli the conviction
that he liad'seen Rc-publicans aud sinners
classed together in his Sunday-school les
son, and he was anxious for the old man's
moral welfare.
Wilkins has taste for these things. It
was during his connection with the Utterly
Hopeless Mutual Insurance Company, that
he went over to Boston for a few days,and
upon his return was asked by Smythe, you
know liim—son of old Smythe—coal oil
man—was asked by Smythe, " Say, Wil
kins, where have you been for a week
back ?" " I haven't been anywhere for it.
I haven't got a week back," and he shot
around the corner.
But his great point is in educating the
minds of his boys; and one day when he
had a quarrel with his aimt, and Bucepha
lus Alexander, his oldest child, wanted to
know what was the matter, he said it was
simply a grammatical error. The relative
didn't agree with his antecedent.
lie was stroDg on grammar; and when
Marv Jane asked him what Syu-tax was,he
said, the tax on Whisky, for Wilkins will
have his top whether or no, and he thiuks
it aint right to put high duties on it.
Wilkins would sacrifice anything to a
joke. When his father died, a venerable
friend called to console him upon the loss
of his parental protector. Wilkins sighed
and said: "Yes the old man was good nt
that, but now I'm the head of the family,
and I suppose I'll have to pay-rental in his
place." llis friend dropped a sympathet
ic tear, and drove to the funeral in a hack.
The elder Wilkins died of consumption,
and his son remarked as he saw the re
mains placed HI the undertaker's carriage,
that it was singular that the old man should
first be carried oil by a hackin' coogh, and
afterwards by a coffin back, The under
taker didn't perceive that this was a joke
until he got to the cemetery, and it made
him so mad that he kicked a dog that lay
in his way, and the dog bit a chop out of
his leg.
" Is it a bull dog, said Mrs. Wilkins ?"
"No, my love,'' replied her husband "it's
a ceme-terrier."
But Wilkins had a brother-in-law nam
ed Gouge, who ran forjudge up in Schuyl
kill connty, and the very first case he tried
was that of a man who owned a coal mine,
but had been a major in the army. His
tailor sued him for a uniform, but Gouge
decided against the tailor, that he couldn't
have made tho6o clothes for him, because
a miner couldn't be a major.
Gouge wa an infidel. lie was so skep
tical that his own mother wouldn't believe !
him, and he gave up the law and turned
spiritualist. He was the medium who re
ceived a message from the spirit of Daniel
Webster, stating that there were a great
many error# in his dictionary which he
would like to have corrected.
It was before Judge Gouge that Fergu
son the soap-fat man, was sued by a woman
for a breach of politeness—she thought that
was what it was; and Gouge charged the
jury to give her a verdict of thirty thousand
dollars, which they did, while Ferguson
was led out of court headed bv a brass
band, playing ' the girl 1 left behind me.'
Ferguson raid be was like Leandcr, it was
swimmin' that reduced him to such great
straits. To which sbe said that if he
hadn't mortgaged herself to him, he had at
least lien'd'er."
Judge Gouge sent them both to prison
for contempt of court, for joking ia his
presence.
j Gouge was a bosom friend of a man nam
ed Mahoney,who lived out in the jungles of
Germantown, and Mahoney was in the na-
I vy, and attached to a mortar boat on the
, Mississippi. Mahoney used to tell how
j very large a shell was that they used. It
l was several yards in diameter and had to
ibe brought on board in sections. The first
| time they fired her off, the boat was shot
. foui miles away from the hall, which was
so heavy that it never budged an inch, ex
j cept to drop plumb into the water.
Mahoney was fond of stories, and it used
, to delight him to tell hjw lie went to Ven
ice, and got leave to go on shore, but there
was no shore there and he spent the day
sitting an a front doorstep, afraid to move
for fear he should get drowned.
Speaking of the army and navy, and go
ing aboard, reminds me to state that St.
George, the patron saint of England, has
been proved to have been nothing but an
army contractor, who supplied the forces
with had pork, and had to lly the country.
His fight with the Dragon is all humbug.
Our army contractors were more success
ful. They not only furnished had materi
al, hut they did not leave the country, and
they succeeded in draggin' a large amount
of cash out of the popular pocket.
I often go around to see VVilktns when
his wife is out of town. He can smoke
then, and he don't care how late he sets
up. Wilkins is fond of music, and he has
a band organ in his back parlor.
" Wilkins, my boy," said I, " play us a
tune, won't you?"
'• Oh, I can't, excuse me, I am out of
practice."
"Do you play by note or ear ?" I in
quired.
Just then Mahoney came in, and related
how, when he was out on the Mississippi,
the boats were so ex-t-r-emely slight, that
the officers wouldn't let the men shift a
quid of tobacco from one side of their
mouths to the other for fear of upsetting
her. When they ran out of quids they
had to reverse the engines every time they
wanted to back'er. Mahoney is dead now.
He mistook a lobster for a soft shell crab,
and it stuck in his throat and killed him.
The doctors said it was strangulation, but
it is more likely he died of grief because
he couldn't lie again.
A Beautiful Passage.
The following is from the reveries of a
bachelor, l>y Ike Marvel:
" A poor man without some sort of re
ligion is at best a poor reprobate, the foot
bail of destiny, with no tie linking him to
the infinity and the wondrous eternity that
is even worse—a flame without heat, a
rainbow without a color, a flower without
perfume. A man may in some sort tie his
hope and his honor to this shifting ground
tackle, to his business or the world, hut a
woman without that anchor called faith, is
a drift and a wreck ! A man may clurusi
ly continue a sort of moral responsibility
out of relation to mankind ; but a woman
in her comparatively isolated sphere, where
affection and not purpose is the controlling
motive, can find no basis in any other sys
tem or right action but that of faith. A
man may craze his thoughts to trustful
ness, in such poor harborage as fame and
reputation may stretch before him, but a
woman—where can she put her hopes in
storms if not heaven ? And that sweet
truthfulness—that abiding love—that en
during hope, mellowing every page and
scene in life—lighting them with radiance,
when the world's storms break like an ar
my with cannon, Who can bestow its all
but holy soul, tied to what is stronger than
an army with cannon! Who has enjoyed
the love of a christian mother but will echo
the thought with energy, and hallow it
with tears ?
% A HISTORICAL PARALLEL.
In a late speech made in New York, bv
Richard O'Gorman, Esq., we find the fol
lowing reference made to Ireland and the
South. The parallel is complete, and is a
historical lessou that should not bo for
gotten:
" Ireland, at one time, was swept from
end to end, by a great soldier and a great
statesman, who formed his idea that the
only way to hold Ireland in peace was to
annihilate its people. It is two hundred
years ago since his track blasted that fair
island, and yet there are many men among
yon, whose faces I look upon to night, wbo
know that in Ireland there is no more bit
ter malediction in the Irish tongue tliau
this : " The curse of Cromwell on you 1"
Ireland never forgot Cromwell; it never
cau forget the iron hand of that grim chief
tain which gripped it too firmly and too
sorely—for forgetfulness and forgiveness
can never come from that people. It re
members forever, because there are some
wrongs that burn into the heart so deep
that they live from generation to genera
tion and cannot be effaced while
It exists, while that race is living
Do you wish, fellow-citizens, to deal with
the Southern States as Cromwell dealt
with Ireland? (Cries of" no, no.") Talk
to an English statesman —to any man who
lives above the petty level of faction —and
he will say: "Would to God that, two
hundred years ago, Cromwell had never
stf his foot npon that ruined land—would
to God England had dealt more kindly by
the sister island. Would to God that after
the Irish people had been defeated in war,
we had trusted them in peace, and taken
them to our heaits and made friends of
'hem, as wc could have done.' Rat to all
this puritauism there cornea the answer :
" Too late—too late. The indelible mark
is upon us; we can never forget, and we
uever can forgive."
' Citizens of the North, do you want that
cry to come out of the heart of the South ?
1 hat fatal cry, " too late." Do you wish to
hear them say " you defeated ns, you tram
pled us under foot, hut wc expected, when
we acknowledged your triumph, you would
not have refused to receive us again as fel
low-citizens ? But you would not—you
said to ns of the South—because you were
onr enemies once you must fotever be our
enemies, never approach us with the hand
of friendship. The favorable hour for rec
onciliation is gone. Too late,too late; we
never can forget; " we never can forgive."
Is that the state of mind you want to force
upon the Southern people ? Citizens, as I
told you when I commenced, I am giving
yoti my thoughts in undress. lam talk
ing to you candidly. In one moment I
shall be done. The duty is now upon you
of exercising the right of suffrage. Do it
cautiously and wisely, but fearlessly, vot
ing only for representatives into the Con
gress of the United States—vote for them
and vote for no one else. Do not bd con
fused about any side issues. That is the
great question. Look at it—Union or Dis
union. Refuse to admit the representa
tives of the Southern States—that is Dis
union; admit them and that is Union.—
Keep these two facts before you, and then
you will have no difficulty in depositing
your votes as (hey ought to he deposited.
And now farewell. I may say to you as
I used to say in the kindly old times, "God
speed you all. May He protect you from
the errors of those who are honest, and the
machinations of those who are not. May
He guide and guard yon, so that you may
leave to your children, unstained and un
impaired, the great heritage you received
frotn your fathers—this great republic, this
proudest nation of the earth, free, united,
prosperous and happy."
llow VICTORIA REPROVED A Ft IRTINO
DAI GUTEP. —An R.ne:dote illustrating Vic
tor's admirable good sense and strict do
mestic discipline, is related by one who wit
nessed the occurrence. One day,when the
Queen was present in her carriage at the
military review, the princess royal, then
rather a wilful girl of about thirteen, sitting
on the front seat, seemed disposed to be
rather familiar and coquetish with some
young officers of the escort. Her majesty
gave several reproving looks without avail
"winked at her,but she wouldn't stay wink
ed " At length, in flitting her handker
chief over the carriage, she dropped it too,
evidently not accidently. Instantly two or
three young heroes sprung from tbier sad
dles to return it to her fair hand, but the
awful voice of royalty stayed them, "Stop
gentleman," exclaimed the Queen, "leave
it just where it is. Now, my daughter
down from the carriage and pick up your
kandkerchief." There was no help for it.
The royal footman let down the step for
the littie royal lady, who proceeded to lift
from the dust the pretty piece of cambric
and lace. She blushed a good deal,though
she tossed her head saucily, but the morti
fying lesson may have nipped in the bud
her first impulse toward coquetry. It was
hard, but it was wholesome. How many
American mothers would be equal to such
a piece of Spartan discipline ?
BOTS. —A son of Scranton, the founder
of Scranton, Pa.,joined the hanJs in hs
father's foundries, that he might learn the
practical part of the iron business. The
son of a well-known and wealthy New
York publisher used to leave his elegant
home every morning, with his tin pail and
in the garb of a laborer, and betake him
self to a machine shop to labor as hard as
the hardest, that he might learn the busi
ness. We also know the son of an emi
nent college professor who does nearly the
same thing.—N. Y. Gazette.
The "son of a wealthy New York pub
lisher" alluded to above, is Gilbert Jones,
son of George Jones, of the New York
Times. He graduated from the New York
Novelty Works, after a regular and severe
apprenticeship, with all the honors ; and is
now in a manufacturing business in the city
of Brooklyn, on bis own account—a busi
ness for which his mechanical knowledge
and experience admirably qualify him.
And young Jones is not only a first-class
machinist, but quite as much of a "gentle
man" as if he had graduated at college
and had regularly rounded off seasons at
Saratoga and Newport.—Troy Times,
The son of the "eminent college Profes
sor" is Wm. IK. Tyler, son of Professor
Tyler, of Amherst College. Yonng Tyler
graduated at Amherst in 1864, taking the
second highest honor in his class, and im
mediately after commenced serving a reg
ular apprenticeship in the Ames Com
pany's Works at Chicopee, where he line
remained ever since,not only studdying the
business theoretically, but learning to do
with bis own hands all kinds of work. The
great need of the country and the age is
for liberally educated men in the mechani
cal and industrial departments,and if more
young men would graduate from a college
to a machine shop,instead of already crowd
ed professions of law,medicine and divinity
they would do a good thing for themselves
and the world.--Springfield(Mass.)Repub
licau.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
Pse ant
Why is a letter T like an island 1 Becausd
it is in the middle of wa-t-er.
An exchange queries whether a young lady
of eighteen springs ought not to bare a fine
waterfall.
Some malicious person sayS that hindaonie
women never trouble themselves upon tbe
; subject of woman's rights.
A western man says he always respects
old age except when some one him
with a pair of tough chickens.
HUSBANDRY. —The pleasant husbandry
. known to a man is said to be tbe destroying
'of weeds—a widow's weeds—by marrying
the widow.
A ftistn named Crapo, who has lost a leg
and is crippled in both arms, was robbed by
some desperately mean wretch, on the train
between Troy and Dayton on Saturday. The
loss was made up to tbe unfortunate cripple
by the passengers.
CUTTING.—A young lady possessing moke
vanity than personal charms, remarked, in a
jesting tune, but with an earnest glance, "she
traveled on her good looks." A rejected lov
er being present, remarked, be "could now
account for the young lady's never bating
been found far from home."
A countryman going to market with a load
of pork was met by a young girl, who very
genteelly made him a low courtesy, itbefl he
exclaimed :
"What ! do you make a courtesy to dead
hogs ?"
'•No, sir," answered the girt, "too a live
one !"
There was once a little illiterate gentleman
—one Peter Patterson—appointed as a Jus
tice 11 the Peace. The first day his clerk
handed him a duplicate writ:
"Well, wot shell Ido with it ?" was tha
query.
"Nothing but sign your initials," was the
reply.
"My nishuls—what are they ?"
"Why two P's," replied the clerk impa
tiently.
Cold p^spiration T stood upon the forehead
of the unhappy magistrate as he seized a pen
and with desperation on his face, wrote "two
peze ?"
Josh Billings says of owls ; Burds is God's
choristers.
Tew the Tien he gave majesty ; tew the
e'ephant, strength ; tew the fox, canning
and tew the tiger, deceit. But tew the burds
his pets, he gave buty and song.
And none is so blest as the owl.
The owl is a game bord ; he can whip any
thing that wears feathers—after dark.
Ho is a wise bard, and hoots at most
things.
He is a solium burd, a cross between a
justice of the peace and a coanty supervisor.
He is a stiff burd, and aits ap as stiff as an
exclamation point,
lie is a luxurious burd and, feeds on
spring chickens.
He is a long lived burd, and never was
known to take death hatrally.
lie is a hardy burd, and groza tough by
bileing.
He is an honest burd, and altVui shows an
opeD countenance.
He is a prompt bnrd, and satisfize £at onst
his outstanding bills.
He is a comfortable bard, and alwuz sleeps
in feathers.
lie is an attentive burd, and dutin' the
day can alwuz be found in.
He is a festive burd, and don't come home
till mornin'.
Thus the owl, a mistaken emblem of soli
tude and sadness, if we dig intu his natnre
closely, is emphatically one of the b'hoys, and
belongs to the club.
RCLPIT ECCENTRICITY —Rev. Samncl
Clawson, a Methodist preacher.ofi'eCcenttic
manners, sometimes called the "wild man,"
was very popular in Western Virginia some
twenty years ago. Ile.was cross eyed and
wiry made,and very dark skinned for a white
man. At times he was sarprisingly eloquectj
always excitable, and once in a while extrav
agant. He once accompanied a brother •bl
ister, Rev. Mr. R , a prominent pastor, in
a visit to a colored chuich. Mr. R. gave the
colored preacher the hint, and of course
Clawson was invited tofpreach. Ho did so,
and during the sermon set the impulsive Af
ricans to shouting all over the house. This
in turn set Clawson to extravagant words
and actions, and he leaped out of the pulpit
like a deer, and began to take the hands of
the colored brethren and mix in quite happi
ly. He wept for joy. Then pressing through
the crowd, ho found brother R., and setting
down beside hint, he threw his arms around
his neck, and with tears streaming down bis
cheeks, he said : "Brother R, I almost wish
I had been bm a nigger. These folks have
more religion than we have." "Well, well,"
said brother R., "you come so near it jou
need'nt cry about it,"
NO. 15.