HARVEY SICKT.ER, Publisher.
VOL. V I I.
Paining pmi oral,
A Democratic weekly _
firt News, the Arts
eaff Sciences Ac. Pub- *" B r .
1 i.-hed every W o dries- (Tfsfil'St'- - ."
day, at Tunkhannock .MV
WToming County.Pa 'V T U :t£jfc#
BY HARVEY SICKLER. " T'
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ftagiitfft potirrs.
i K. A W f£ LITTLE, ATTORNEYS AT
Ik LAW Office on Tioga Street TuukU*nnock Pa
Uj tj. s|. l'l ATT. ATTORNEY AT LAW Of
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
a aiiiioek. Pa
asi. (OOPEIt. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
L PABRIBB, ATTORNEY AT LAW
V' OffUe at the Court House, in Tunkhannock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
j W, KHIIAIIs. PHYSICIAN At SUH GEON
J. will attend proin. tly to ail calls in his pro
fession. May be found at his Office at the Drug
Store, or at his residence on Ptitmau Sreet, lormerly
occupied by A. K. Peekhnu E-q.
DENTISTRY." .
-A'-;.- j
OR, L T. BT'RXS h;is permanently located in
TunkhttKnock borough, m i respectfully tenders
hi* professional Mcvice to its cilitCßS-
Office on second door, formerly occupied fcy Dr.
uilrnan.
v6ndGtf.
PORTRAIT, LANDSCAPE,
ANL)
OEUAIMEEFTA.!.
PAI3VTIKIG,
'Jiy }r. HUG Eh, Artist.
Rooms over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Brick Block,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
Life-sire Portraits painted from Amheotypes or
Photographs-Photographs Painted in OilCilors
Allorders for paintings executed according to or
der.or mi charge made.
tir Instrnrtions given in Drawing. Sketching, j
Portrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water \
Colors, and in all branches of the ait,
Tunk , July 3!, '(j7 -vgoSO-tf.
NEW
TAILORJNS SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing,
now offers bis services in this line to the citizens of !
SICHOLSON AND vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his shop the ;
place to get them.
JOEL, R, SMITH
-nSO-6mos
BOLTON HOUSED
HAHRISni'ITD, HENNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
" BL'EHLEK HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this old and ,>pulnr House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
ru N Kll A\ T NOCK, WYOMISGCO .PA
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the House
T. B WALL. Owner and Proprietor .
Tunkhannock, September 11, IS6I.
MEANS' HOTEL.
TOWAIMDA, PA.
r. B- BARTLET,
-(LATE of "BRAINARO HOUSE, ELUIKA, N Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, i-<ine of tne LARGEST
and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country —It
is fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
and no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeable Hopping-place (or all,
v 3, n2l, ly.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL.
.MESHOPPKN, WYOMING COUNTY, J'A
AY in. If. (,'ORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
lender the bouse an agreeable place ol sojourn to
all who may favor it with their custom.
Win H. COttTRIGHT.
Jme, 3rd, rot
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. -WEDNESDAY, OCT, 2. 1867.
MIIEIL & BAIIATYIE'S CDLIMI
A LARGE
STOCK OF
SPRING
GOODS,
JUST RECEIVED AND
%
For Sale
CHEAP,
ALL KINDS OF
I
Produce
TAKEN IN EXCHANGE
FOR GOODS
I
AT
BUNNELL & BANNATYNK'S
Tunkhannock, Pa.
bnl 1.
THE DYING WIFE'S APPEAL.
The following beautilul lines were placed in ft
scrap book of a now deceased wife about a week be
fore her demise. How beautiful and touching they
are under the cir.-umstances She expected when
placing them in the book to live but a short time :
Come near me, let me lay my hand
Once more upon tby brow,
And let me whisper in thine ear
Love's last and fondest vow.
The lips that breathe these trembling words,
When they lie cold in death,
And thy dear cheek can feel no more
Their warm and loving breath.
1 go from tbee ; God only knows
How I have longed to stay-
How I have shuddered thus to tread
The long and shadowed way.
Faith tells me that I soon must know
The joys the blessed find,
And yet I falter, while 1 cast
A lingering look behiad,
I saw thee bowed before me here,
In bitterness and tears ;
But I can leave tbee something still,
To light thy weary years ;
Youu; tender forms will cling to thee,
Perhaps will mi;s my tone,
And though they may not share thy grief,
Thou will not feel alone.
Fol 1 them closer to thy hreast.
And soothe their childish woe,
And cheer the many lonely hours
The motherless must know.
The world, with all its hopes and joys,
Will sometimes make the glad ;
But they must linger round the hearth
Still desolate and sad
And 0, when time shall call thy grief,
Perchance the hour may come
When thou wilt win another form
To share thy heart and home—
When thou wilt welcome to thy board
A younger, fairer face,
Ar.d bid thy children smile on her,
Who takes thy moiLer's place.
But think not eoull I speak to thee,
That I would frown or blame,
Though they should love the stronger one,
And call her by my name,
For they will speak to thee of me,
My memory is their trust;
A word, a smile, a look like mi*#
Will call me from the dust, -U 1
•
Yet make my grave no place of tears,
But let the dear ones biing
To their mother's lonely borne,
The bloss >ms of the spring ;
And there thou too inay'st kneel,
And softly press the earth
That covers her, whose face once gave
A brightness to tby hearth.
Then will the forms of early yean
Steal softly to thy side.
And for an hour thou can'st forget
Thou hast another bride,
The may be all tby heart can ask,
So dear, so true to thee.
But 0, the spring time of thy love,
Its freshness was for me:
May she be blest, who comforts thee,
And with a gentle hand
Still guide our little trembling ones,
Who mske our household band.
She caziDot know the tenderness
That fills their mother's breast,
But she can love them for tby sake,
And make thee more than blest.
The Radicals tell the bondholders
that if the present Rump Congress is not
a lawful Congress, their bonds are worth
less. No government bonds were issued
by either ltuinp No. 1 or No. 2, (common
ly called thirty-ninth and fortieth Con
gresses,) consequently government bonds
do not depend lor validity upon the lawful
character of those bodies. Whilst the
Southern States representatives remained
out of Congress by t/oeir own act, the re
maining members constituted a lawful
Congress; bur, when the war terminated,
and the recovered States presented lawful
ly-elected and loyal representatives, and
those representatives were unlawfully ex
cluded by the Radical majority in Con
gress terminated and the unlawful Rump
began. Bondholders will bear this im
portant fact in mind.
PAYING DEBTS —One of our religious
exchanges has the following strong re
marks on this subject: "Men may sophis
ticate as they please. They can never
make it right, and all the universe cannot
make it right for thein to pay their debts.
There is a sin in this neglect as deserving
church discipline as stealing or false
swearing. He who violates his promise
to pay or withholds the payment of a debt,
when it is in his power to meet the engage
ment, ought to feel that in the sight of all
honest men be is a swindler. Religion
may be a very comfortable cloak under
which to hide ; but if religion does not
mak a man deal justly it is not worth
having."
A WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.—A scnsibl e
affectionate, refined, practical woman
makes a man's nature all the stronger by
making it more tender—puts new heart
into ail its strivings—and gives dignity to
his prosperity, and comfort to bis adversi
ty. Every true life wields L still greater
power when it feels a living heart drawing
it with irresistible force iuto every posi
tion of duty
Never rvjoice in the misfortunes of
others—the clouds may be raising which
will overshadow yotr own prospects.
• To Speak his Thought* is Every Freeman's Bight. "
JIM WOLF AND THE TOM CATS.
Here is one of Mark Twain's good sto
ries. He knows how to mske the reader
laugh, and if the following does not pro
voke a smile, it is because there is no
mirth in mankind during the hot weather.
I knew bv the sympathetic glow upon his
bald head—l knew by tbe thoughtful look
upon his face—l knew by the emotional
flush upon the strawberry on the end of
the old free liver's nose, that Simon W hee
ler's memory was busy with the olden
time. And so I prepared to faave, be
cause all these were reminiscence —signs
that he was going to be delivered of an
other of his tiresome peisonal experience
—but I was too slow ;he got the start of
me. As nearly as I can recollect, the in
fliction was couched in tbe following lan
gnage:
"We were all boys, then, and I didn't
care for nothing, and didn't have no troub
les, and didn't worry about nothing only
how to shirk school and keep up a revivin'
state of devilment all the time. Thish yar
Jim Wolf I was talkin' about, was the
prentice, and he was the best hearted fel
ler, he was, and the most forgivin' and on
selfish I ever see--well there couldn't be
a more bullicr boy than what he was, take
him how you would; and sorry enough I
wa when I seen him for the last time.
"Mc and Harry was always pestering
lwm and plastering hoss-hills on his back
and putting bumble bees in his bed, and
so on, jnd sometimes, we'd crowd in and
bunk with him, noi'standing his growling,
and ihen we'd let on to get mad and fight
acrost him, so as to keep liira stirred up
like. He was nineteen, he was, and long
aud lank, and bashful, and wc was fifteen
and sixteen, and tolerably lazy and worth
less.
"So that night, you know, that my sister
Mary give the candy piillin , they started
us off to bed early, so as the company
would have full swing, and we rung in on
Jim to have some fun.
"Our winder looked onto the roof of the
ell, and about ten o'clock a couple of old
torn cats got to rarin' and chargin' around
on it and carryin' on like sin. There was
four inches of snow on the root, and it
was frozen so that there was a right smart
crust of ice on it, and the moon was shin
ing bright, and we could see them cats like
davlight. First they'd stand off and e-yow
vow, just the same as if they was a cussin'
one another, you know, and JOW up their
backs and push up their tail®, and swell
around and spit, and then all )f a sudden
the gray cat held snatch a handful of fur
out of the yaller cat's ham, and spin her
around, like a button on a barn door. But
the yaller cat was game, and he'd come
and'clinch, and the way they'd gong?,
and bite, and howl; and the way they d
make the fur fly was powerful
"Well, Jim got disgusted wth the row,
and 'lowed hr'd climb out there and shake
them otFn that roof. He hadn't really no
notion of doin' it, likely, but ve everlast
in'ly dogged him, and bully ragged him,
and 'towed he'd always bragged how he
wouldn't take a dare, and so on, till bune
by he histed up the winder, and lo! and
behold you, he went —went exactly as he
was—nothin 1 on but a shirt, and it was
short. But you ought to have seen bim !
You ought to see him creeping over that
ice, and diggin' his toe nails and finger
naiis in for to keep from slippin'; and
above all, you ought to seen that shirt a
flappin' in the wind, and them long, ridic
ulous shanks of his'n a gliste Jn' in the
moonlight.
"Them company folks was down there
under the eaves, the whole squad of 'era
under that ornery shed of old dead Waalin'
ton Bower vines—all settin' round about
twoaozen snssers of hot canly, which
thev'd sot in the snow to cool. And they
was laugbin' and talkin' lively ; but bless
von they didn't know nothin 'bout the
panorama that was goin' on cer their
heads. Well, Sim he went a sreakin' and
neakin' up, unbeknown to them torn cats,
they was a swiskin' their tails and yow
i yowin' and threatenin' to clinch, you know
and not payin' any attention—He went a
! sneakin' right np to the comb of the roof,
! till he was in a foot'n' a half of 'em, and
all of a sndden he made a grab for the yal
ler cat! Bot by Gosh he missed fire and
slipt his hair, and his heels flew up and
he flopped on his back and shot off that
roof like a dart—went a smasbia' ' ffnd a
! crashin' down through them dd rusty
vines and landed right in the dead centre j
l of all them comp'ny people—sot down j
| like a yearlhquake in them two dozen sas j
sers of red hot candy Hnd let otf a howl
that was hark Irom the torn! 1 Them
! girls—well they felt you kno#. They
! he wern't dressed for comp'ny, and so they
1 left. All done in a second ; it was just
j one little war whoop, and a wisk of their
; dresses, and blame the wench of 'em was
; in sight any where!
"Jim he was a sight He was covered
with that bilin' hot molasses candy clean
down to his heels, and bad more blasted
sassers hangin' to him than if he was an
Injin princess—and he come a prancin' up
stairs fust a whoopin' and a cussin,' and
every jump lie shrd some china, and every
; squirm he fetched he dripped some candy !
"And blistered! Why, bless your soul
that poor creter couldn't really set down
comfortable for as much as four weeks."
—
Most men seem to consider their school;
learning as if it were like a tadpole s tail
meant to drop off as soon as the owner
comes to full growth.
i •- M !
Who ever felt the breath from the
Inngs of a chest of drawers.
DID THE? DO Tit
Did not the Radical Congress increase
yonrtaxwil
Did not the Radioal Congress exempt
the rich man's bonds?
Did not the Radical Congress give to
the New England Manufacturers a high
protective tariff by whieh you are made
to pay double the usual price on all you
wear?
Did not the Rabical Congress increase
tbe wages of its members ! ,
Did not the Radical Congress iistolve
the Union for which our brave soldiers
fought ?
Did not the Congress establish a milita
ry despotism over the south ?
Did it not disfranchise the white men
of the South and enfranchise the negroes?
Did it not establish a bureau for the ,
benefit of the blacks? . '|J
Did you not pay high taxes for Radical
politics r
Are these reasons why you should vote
the Radical ticket ?
If not we will add a few more reasons,!
and will then see if you can reject tbe
moral party.
Have we not a foolish liquor law upon
our statute book that ought to be repealed ]
and a good lieense law enacted in its
place ?
Did not the Radicals want to ballot the
word "white" from our State Constitution,
and to piacc tbe negro upon an equality
with you ?
Will you still contend that you can not
vote Radical after answering plainly and
correctly these questions?
Is it not glorious to serve a party that
can do all these things and go free i
GRANT TOLD THE TRUTH.
"When General Grant on the 18th of
December, 1865, made hit memorable re
port to tbe President on the condition of
the South, he said, and said truly, of the
Southern people :
"The mass of thinking men of the South
acc 'pt the present situation of the affairs in
good faith. The questions which have
heretofore divided the sentiments of the
people of the two sections—slavery and
State rights or the right of a State to se
cede fruin the Ut iin—they regard as hav
ing been settled forever by the highest
tribunal —arms —that men resort to."
Undoubtedly the Southern people acted
'in good faith.' They do not deal in Pu
ritanical hypocrisy. Thev say what they
mean, and mean what they sav. Grant
was right, and he wrote it two years ago,
and those States seem as far removed
from becoming States in the Union as
they were then. Tbe Rump Congress
continues its rule of despotism over those
States. Person and property are not safe.
There is no security oflaw, and business
con inues paralyzed.
The Fort Lafayette party, with its lit
tle bell, still rules!
Notwithstanding this, the Southern peo
ple prefer this military despotism to mis
erable negro mob rule.
'Reconstruction,' io the minds of the
Radical leaders, means giving all political
power in those States ir.to the hands of
tbe negroes there, and to disfranchise the
white people. Once establish this condi
tion of things, and poverty and degrada
tion will prevail in that favored clime ; for
the best, the intelligent people of the
South will abandon their homes and seek
safety in other sections.
THE CHICAGO PLATFORM, "FIGHTING
FOR THE NIGGER." AC.— YV hen the Dem
ocratic National Convention which nomi
nated McClellan for President in 1864 re
solved at Chicago that the country bad
had "four years of failure to restoro the
Union by tbe experiment of war," our
Radical friends a great many charges upon
the declaration, and persuaded themselves
and others that it was not true. Also,
when Democrats charged upon the admin
istration of the late and lamented Mr. Lin
colu that it prostituted the war into an ab
olition crnsado and waa compelling ouc
soldiers to "tighi for the nigger," our Rad
ical friends waxed indignant and denied
the soft impeachment with various indig
nation. Time has passed and we are now
near another Presidential election, bot the
war goes on—it is still a "failure to restore
the Union;" and if anybody can see any
thing the. soldiers have fought for except
the "nigger" we would feel greatly obliged
to have the object pointed out.— Pitttbary
Republic. f ,
SOLDIERS OF tni WAR OF 1812—PEN
SION TAEEN AWAT.—Among the objec
tionable laws passed by the Radical Legis
lature of last winter, there was none more
hi-artless and cruel than the one repealing
the Act of Assembly allowing s pension of
forty dollars , annually, to the soldiers of
the War ot 1812. While scores of use
less officers receiving pay at the rate of
SB,OO a d -iy, thronged the halls of the
Legislature, this mere pittance was taken
from the old soldier or his widow ; and in
many instances, as it certainly was in one
within onr knowledge, it waa the onfv
means of sugport. Let the soldiers of
I 1812. and their friends remember this
great outrage when tby go to the polla
! on the Btb of October.
6T Why not pav the bonds off in Green
barks ? If they are good enohgh to pay
j widows for their husbands, childless pa
! rents foi their children, orphans for their
fathers, maimed soldiers for their lost
("limbs, heirs for tbe lileblood of tbe raur
| dered soldiers, surely Bondholders should
not refuse to receive them to payment for
i bonds.
| SIGNS FOR HANDKERCHIEF FLIRTS
| frionj.—Drawing acj-os? the lip—Desi
rous 'of' petting Mcq nainted.
Drawing across tbe yes—l am fOirr.
Taking by centre—You are too willing.,
Dropping—we will be friends.
* Twirjtng in both hands— . *
Drawing across the cheek —I love you.
Drawing through the hands—l hate
you.
Letting it rest on the right cheek—Yes.
I>.uing it rqst cheek —No* /
Twirling in left hand—l wish to get j
I rid of yon,
Twisting in right hand-*! loe another.
Folding it—l wish to speak With you
Over the shoulder—Follow mo.
Opposite corners in both hands—Wait
Tor me.
Drawing across the forehead—We are
watched.
Discing od right ear—You ha*e chang
! *d-
Placing on left ear—l have a message
| for you. /j j";'. , .
| Letting it remain on the eyes—You are
cruel
j Winding round fore-finger—l ana en
gaged.
Winding round third finger—l am roar-
I ried.
I N. B.—Practice makes pet feet.
HOLD ON, BOTS.—HoId on to your
tongue when you are just ready to swear,
or lie, or speak harshly, or use any im
proper word. j
Hold on to your hand when you are
about to strike, steal or do any improper
set.
Hold on to your foot when you are
on tbe point of kicking, running away j
from study, or pursuing the path of error,
shame or crime.
Hold on to your temper when you sre
angry, excited, or imposed upon, or others
are angry about you.
Hold on to your heart, when evil per
sons se<k your company, and invite you
to join their games, mirth or revelry.
Hold on to your name at all times, for
it is more valuable to yon than gold, high
places, or fashionable attire. ,
Hold on to tbe truth, for it will serve
you well, and do you good through all
eternity.
Hold on to your virtue—it is above all
price to you in ail lime* and places.
Hold on to your good character, for it
is and always will be your best wealth,
A SECRET WOP.TH KNOWING.—An able
writer gives utterance to the following
valuable secret:
"Looking forward to enjoyment don't
pay. For what I know of it, I would as
soon chase butterflies fbr a living, or bot
tie moonshine for a cloudy night. The.
only way to be happy is to lake the drops
of happiness as God gives them to us ev
ery day of our lives. The boy must learn
to be happy while be is learning bis trade ;
the merchant while he is making his for
tune. If he fails to learn the art, he will
be sure to miss his enjoyment when he
gains what he has sighed for," Sensible
and true.
THE ART OF BEING POLITE.—First
and foremost, don't TRT to be polite—lt will
spoil all.
If you keep overwhelmiug your guests
with ostentatious entreaties to make them
selves at home, they Mvili very soon wi9h
they were there. Let them find out that
you are happy to seetbem by your actions
not by your words.
Alway remember to let bashful people
alone at "first, as it is the only way to set
them at their ease. Trying to draw them
out has sometimes tbe contrary effedt of
DELVING them out—out of the house.
Leading the conversation is a dangerous
experiment. Better follow in its wake,
and if you want to endear yourself to talk
ers, learn to LISTEN well. Never make
fuss about scything; never talk about
yourself; and al vays preserve perfect
composure, no matter what solecisms or,
blunders others may commit. Remembei
it is a very foolish proceeding to lament
that you cannot offer to your guests a bet
ter honse, furniture or viands. It is fair
to presume that the visits are to you—not
to these surroundings. Give people a
pleasant impression of themselves, and
they will be pretty sure to go away with
a pleasant impression of your qualities.—
On just such slender wheels as these the
whole fabric of society turns. It is our
business then to keep them in perfect re
volving order. —[Life Illustrated.
Garlic came from Sicily, where,
for my part, I wish it had stayed. Beans
blossomed first within sight of embryo
mummies, in the land of the Sphynx ; aud
the egg plant first laid its glossy treasures
under the African sun, and Sonlhern Eu
rope gave the artichoke and the beet. To
Persia, we stand indebted for peaches
walnuts mulberries, and necessities; to
Arabia we owe the cultivation of spinach,
and to Southern Europe we must bow in
tearful gratitude for the horse radish. At
Siberia the victims of modern intemper
ance may shake their locks forever—for
from )hat cold, unsocial land came rye,
the father of the great fire water rirer
which has floated so many jolly souls on
its treacherous tid*>s, and engulfed so much
of humanity's treasure. The chestnut,
dear to squirrels and young America, first
dropped its burrs on Italian soil.
Remember that the time to vote
out RsdkMliam is close at hand.
TERMS, $2.00 Per. AJTNT7M, in Advance.
S&SE anil fltjutiiitst.
Forget tod forgive i* the good DU'I re
venge.
Why ceo yon keep fruit better by canning
it then thy other way ? Because yoweaa 1
If a bottle of gioger-pop weigh* one pmnd 9
and a half, how much will your grand*pop.
weigh 1
If a man waits patiently while a woman la'
"putting lief thing* on." or "shopping," br
will make a good husband.
"Ah . Pat," aaid a discontented hod earrier l
"don't take up this mode of life, it baa 100
many upland downs in it."
It mar be polite sometimes to seem ignor*
ant; nevertheless be wise- Many seem to
be wise, wbo are, in reality, extremely ignor
ant" s'.. i
— ■■:-), t
"Pa, are cannibals people that live on oth
er folks ?"."Yes my dear." "Then, pa, IJo
cle George must be a cannibal, fur ma sgys
he's always living on somebody." ,
i'
Men hive an average of thirty poanda of
blood in their frames, and two hundred and
forty-eight bones. Women have the same
number, not including whale bones.
A Quaker lady recently explained to her
new domestic that wash day came on every
Second Day. The girl left in high dudgeon.
She did'nt go to washing every other day !
A yoong man in this vicinity ha* commen
ced s'udying German by drinking lager. It
is hard to tell whether the rudiments will
master bim or be the rudiments.
A stomp orator declared that be knew no
North, no Sou th, no East, no West.
"Then," said a hyatander, 'go to acbool
aDd leam geography."
Theodore Parker aptly compared some who
grow suddenly rich to cabbages growiDg in a
bed. They smother the violets, but, after ill
are nothing but cabbage beads.
h Ven yon're a married man Sammy you'tt"
understand how : but vether its vorth vile to 1
go through to much to learn so little as the
charily boy said ven he got to the eod of the
alphabet, is a matter of taste."
_
"My #on," siid elder Spriggles to Spriggles
junior, thinking to enlighten the boy on the
propagation of the hon species—"my son, do
you know that chickens come out of eggs V'
"Do tbcy ?" said Spriggles juuior, as he lick
ed bis plate ; "I thought eggs come out of
chickens." Thus ended the first lesson.
If your afflictions are sanctified, it is un
reasonable to murmur against Ood, because
you smart an der His rod, as it wonld be to
accuse your dearest friend of cruelty, because
be strained your arm to snatch you from the
fall of a houae. or wall, which he saw waa
ready to crush,tod overwhelm you in ..it*
ruins.
WHITE PEOPLE OF COLOR.—TWO darkies
met the other day, one rather more refined
than the other :
'•Good morning nigger.
'•You musn't say so, for we ars not niggers
now."
"What am we, den 7"
"Why sura, we are white people of col
or."
A DRUNIIRB'S WILL.—I leave to society*
ruined character, a.wretched example, and a
memory that will soon rot,
I leave to my parents during the rest of
their lives ss much sorrow as humanity, in a
feeble and decrepit condition can sustain.
I leave to tny brothers and sisters ss much
mortification and injury as I could bring on
them.
I leave to my wife a broken heart, a life of
wretchedness aod shame, to weep over my
premature death.
I give and bequeath to each of my children
ignorance, and low character and the remem
brance that their father waa a low brute.
ON MOSQUITOES—JU sh Billings thus ex
presses himself on the mosquitoes: "We are
told that there wasn't anything mads in vain
this is sometimes the so, but 1 have thought
the time spent in manufakturing musketoze
more than wasted, if the musketoze don't.—
How they were put together I never could
tell ; and there is one commercial peculiarity
about the musketeer trade—the supply al
ways exceeds the demand, and yet the pro*
duction ia not diminished. I kant under
stand this, nohow.—They are born of poor
but industrious parents, and are brought up
with great care under the auspices of some of
jour best families. They have also consum
| mate courage. 1 have known * musketeer to
fit# a man and bis wife all aits long end draw
' the first blood. Uis very easy to kill mus
ketoze, when you can. But in striking at
them, you are very apt to hit the exact place
where they reoeotly was. Tbey are cheer
ful liltio rascals, singing as tbey toil.
*3T gnqaojiqa JOJ jqe (JNOOXIRR
NO. 9.