HARVEY SICKLER, Publisher.
VOL. VII.
t%curiitg Bnnocrat,
g Democratic weekly . H^tnen
paper, dovuted to Poll .
IST, at Tunkhannock ~
3Y HARVEY SICKLER. W
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jtiusiitrss fotfrts.
RK.dstV E UTTLM ATTORNsVi AT
LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhannock Pa
U?M. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of
fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
Itnoock. Pa
HS. COOPER, PAYSD'IAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.
A l„ PA K H Is"II, ATTORNEY AT LAW
' • ffi-e at the Court Huuse, in Tunkhannock
WJI miug Co. Pa.
It h, RHOADS, PHYSICIAN A surgeon
IJ . will attend protn. t!y to all calls in his pro
[>i is. May be found at his Office at the Drug
|-- re. or at his residence on Putrnan Sreet, formerly
I copied by A. K. Peckham E-q.
DENTISTRY.- - -
DP.. L T. BURNS has permanently located in
Tunkhar.noeli I'orongh, and respectfully tenders
tit professional servicer to its citizens
"dice on second ficoi, formerly occupied by Dr.
Oilman.
vtinAbtf.
PORTRAIT, LANDSCAPE,
AND
OK2T IMEXT AL
FATNTIIVG,
'Hy >r. ItUGEH, Artist.
Room* over the Wyoming National bank,in Stark's
Brick Block,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA.
Life-sire Portraits painted from Ambrotypes or
Photographs —Photographs Painted in Oil Colors
All orders for paintings executed according to or
der, or no charge made.
J ft" Instructions given in Drawing, Sketching,
Prtrait and Landscape Painting, in Oil or water
Colors and in all branches of the art,
Tunk, July 31, 'g7-vguSO-tf.
NEW
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tits, experience in cutting and making clothing
new offers his services in tt>is line to the citizens of
SKS.LSON and vicinity.
Th'tsij wishing to get Fits will find his shop the
pin to gt them.
JOEL, R. SMITH
-nsfl-6mos
B LT ON HOUSED
HAKKISHURG, PKNNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
'BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com-
Heo -e 1 s-j h alterations and improvements as will
fu-ler this old and popular House equal, if not supe
" t<. any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
■t continuance of the public patronage is refpect
kly solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
U XtvIIANNOtK, WYOMING CO., PA.
Till s establishment has recently been refitted an
4 lurnished in the latest style Every attention
M be given to the comfort and convenience of those
•la patronize the House
T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor:
I unlihannoek, September 11, IR6I.
MEANS' HOTELr
towantda, FA..
J>- B. BARTLET,
( Late ol "gRAiNARu HOUSE, ELMIBA, N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
nI h nFcY\nI HOTKL . '■ one of the LARGEST
is fitted uJ in ViED H " U4e in the country-It
mi nn Jinm mo# * *nd improved style,
* P ® are to make it a pleasant and
zgreeable stopping-place for all
v 3, n2L(y.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL.
MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY PA
Wm. 11. CORTRIGIIT, I'rop'r
[T resumed the proprietorship of the above
rent , te !' l ' le undersigned will spare no efforts
'*r'he house au agreeable place ol sojourn to
II "ho may favor it with their custom.
Wm H. CORTRIGHI.
'w, Ird, 1663
BVIIELL & Mnmin iino
A L ARGE
STOCK OF
SPKING
GOODS,
JUST RECEIVED AND
For Hale
CHE.IP,
c
ALL KINDS OF
Produce
TAKEN IN EXCHANGE
FOR GOODS
AT
BUNNELL A BANNATYNE*S
Tunkhannock , Pa.
Sail.
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. - WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 11 1867.
"EYE HATH NOT SEEN, EAR HATH
NOT HEARD."
Bye bath got seen, ear hath net heard,
Oae halffof the miracle land-
That Ilea just urer the waters of life,
Just beyond ita ehoala, and ita strand,
Where our tears change to pearls, our sufferings to
Jej,
Our dreea becomes gold, without an alloy.
Eye hath not seen, ear hath not heard.
One half of the mysteries there ;
The pearly gates, with their legions of guards,
Or its blossoms, and fruits ao rare,
Of the pastures ao green, and the water* ao still.
Where the sanctified host* may wander at will.
Eye bath not seen, ear hath not heard,
Scarce a note of the harmony sweet—
That echoes and rolls o'er those mountains of bliss
Tho blood washed spirits to greet—
Who. weary of life, hare severed its ties,
And mounted by faith to their home in tho skies.
Eye hath not seen, ear bath not heard,
But a tythe of the mystical lore,
Of the country where prophets and patriarchs meet,
To part from their kindred no m > ro;
But dying, they left us in letters of gold,
The blessed assuranee—they're sate in the fold.
Eye hath not seen, ear hath net heard,
But faith, has these mysteries scanned ;
And folded its wings, with the beautiful hope,
Of "that rest," in the "unknown land ;
We shall go not out from the country so fair.
For sickness and death shall enter not there,
HOE OUT TOUR ROW.
One day a farmer's lasy boy
WHS hoeing out the corn,
And moodily had listened long
To heur the dinner horn.
That welcome blast was heard at last.
And down be dropped his hoe ;
But the old man shouted In his ear—
"My boy, hoe out your row !"
Although a "hard one" was tho row,
To use a ploughman's phrase,
The lad, as sailors hAre it.
Beginning well to "haic"—
"I can." said he and maufully
He seised again ais hoa,
A nd the old man smiled to see
The boy hoe out bis row,
The lad this test remembered,
And proved the mcrl well.
That perseveraocs to the end
At last will nobly tell.
Take courage theD ! resolve you can,
And strike a vigorous blow ;
In life's great field of varied toil
Always hoe out your row.
THE TEST:
ORLOVK IN A HOGSHEAD.
"They put everything on runners while
*!. .* laous, iVI IF UUtO UUb UJUM.SJ j
tarry long. Buggy seats, carriage tops, !
crockery crates —all are in the question. !
And I even saw one of the finest horses .
in the cty drawing a hogshead on woodi-n |
runners, in which were seated a gentleman
and lady. They were a fine looking
couple and bore off the palm for fast dri
ving, as well as the ludicrous looking
sleigh conveyance."—Letter from Chicago.
Ah reader! and thereby bangs a tale.
It was a New Year's day in that far
famed city of the West—even in the
New Year's day of 'SO. Since Christmas,
winter had set in, in good old fashioned
earnestness. Snow had fallen to the depth
of several inches, and being firm and hard,
made excellent sleighing—a rare thing in
the city.
Indeed our winters seem sadly degener
ated of late being much more mild and
free from snow than in the days of onr
fathers; perhaps to accommodate them
selves to our failing health and strength t
for this latter fact is but too apparent.
Yet this New year's day seemed more a
type of the old time. It was cold, yet not
too cold, and the Rleighing was excellent.
Everybody who had a suitable convey
ance, or could get one, even at any price,
was out enjoying the rare sport; only the i
more keenly to be enjoyed for its very
rarity It was indeed a gala day; bright
and beautiful still in the human hearts
beating so joyonsly beneath!
Earnest Hammond sat in bis counting
room busily engaged in attending to the
reception of a large quantity of goods just
arrived. lie was yonng yet; but fast ris
ing in wealth and position. Born in the
East, he had brought with him all the hab
its of strict attention, pleasure must he
waived. Therefore, when he did give
himself to its enjoyments, it was with
double zeal. Naturally warm hearted
and impulsive, and social withal as snch a
person mnst always be, he keenly enjoyed
society. And when he entered it, he was
ever a welcome companion, both with his
own and oppositejsex. And now cloa ng
his books with a look of satisfaction and
relief, he determined to give himself to
the pleasure of this annual gala day.
While business was pending he bad
closed his ears and eyes to all else; but
now he could not fail to hear the unusual
stir in the streets, and to feel that while he
had been engaged within doors, all had
been life and commotion without. When
he came forth the street presented a most
novel scene. A more molly, incongruous
lot of vehicles it were not not easy to im
agine. Such life and hilarity are always
infectious, and Earnest soon canght the
spirit* He, too, would join the sledgers';
but how ?
ITe inqnired at several stages for a
sleigh. None were to be had. Yet he
was not ea ily daunted, and, moreover,
bad an nnusual share of perseverance.—
He owned one of the finest horses In the
city; of that be felt sure He remem
bered, too, that in a remote part of the
stable where he had usnally kept him, he
had one day noticed a pair of wooden run
ners. He would see if in some way a con
veyance might not he planned. His Yan
kee ingenuity must be brought to the ser
▼ice.
He soon reached the stable. The run
ners were found, and in good order. But
now tor the other part. A hogahead that
" To Speak hla Thoughts is Every Freeman's Right. "
for 9ome reason or other had been sawed
apart and nicely cleaned, stood before
him. Instantly a part of it was upon the
runners. In a few moments a comforta
ble seat was added, and he was ready for
a drive.
But now arose another difficulty, nn
tbought of before. lie must have a com
panion—a lady of course ; elsa half the
enjoyment would be lost. But who would
it be ? Who would be seen even with
him in such a conveyance as that ? Ex
cuse his vanity, reader mine. He knew
he was a favorite. Indecd| ho could not
help knowing it. But this was a special
occasion. "All the world was out."—
Whom could he find brave enough to dare
it ? He must see.
There were two or three yonng ladies,
who had long claimed his special regard,
and he felt sure he was not entirely indif
ferent to them. He had even been ob
serving them of late, striving to learn the
true character of each. This he found, as
gentlemen and ladies usually meet in city
life, rather a difficult matter How he
yearned to see through the false surround
ings into the true and inner life beneath !
He was rather old fashioned in his no
tions, it mnst be confessed ; but he did
care more for the real than the artificial
more for the heart than the outer adorn
ing. But how would it end ? Would he
be wiser than his sex ? It was indeed a
difficult question but he did not quite de
spair.
Ella Campbell bad long been of the
first in his esteem. But recently he had
thought her somewhat vain and superfi
cial, caring more for the outer than the in
ner man. and he had been cautions in his
attentions to her. He would test her
now.
Driving briskly to the door and throw
ing reins over his horse, he quickly rang
the bell. A servant at once ushered
him into the parlor, where sat the lady of
his thoughts. She greeted him warmly ;
but on hearing the object of his visit and
unique conveyance ho had brought,
she plead a previous engagement, and at
once excused herself.
Earnest Hammond was gifted with a
good share of penetration ; and when not
previousuly blinded, read character well.
Now, instinctively feeling how it was, he
politely withdrew. And while he rode
gaily away, Ella Campbell sat pouting in
the room, unthought and uncared for by Text'visifVas
Text'visifVas to the house
of Square Reed. Here he had long
been a frequent and welcome visitor, and
was always received quite "like one of the
familv," as the Squire often said, looking
knowingly at his two girls, Charlotte and
Bella.
Charlotte was the older and handsomer
of the two; and beauty is always attract
ive especially with the men. She was the
favorite, too, in society. But at times
Earnest had turned from her to the gen
tle graceful Bell, with her pure heart, and
piquant, innocent ways, almost with a feel
ing of love for the latter.
Her's indeed was a character to study.
Timid and retiring when in the presence
of strangers, she was vet singularly artless
and confiding with those she best knew
and loved.
There was a dash of independence, too
and a vein of romance in her heart, pleas
ant and refreshing to meet. She was
gracefnl and plain it is true, but there was
a character and strength there, also.—
Though her sister might beat please in a
crowd, she would be better known and
felt at home.
All this earnest felt; still beauty fasci
nated him. Not that Be.lla was ngly.—
Oh no! But she was not beautiful, ei
ther ; at least, save in the loving eyes and
hearts of those who best knew her. Ear
nest liked them both. It were difficult in
deed, to determine which was the favorite.
As he nea r ed the door he sa 1, within
himself, as one often will in cases of doubt.
"A look or a word shall decide between
! them. If one or both refuse to ride with
j me, it shall be a sign that all is over.—
I But if one excepts —why, then who knows
what may come of it? lam twenty-eight
now; "old enough, as my partner told me
j yesterday, "to be married and have a
! home of my own." And so I am.—
; We shall see—we shall see."
Two faces were at the window as he
drove np. One brightened visiblv, and
the other as visibly paled; while a min
gled expression of scorn and disappoint
ment passed over her fine features.
"Good morning, ladies, good morning !
exclaimed he, as he entered their pres
ence. I find myself in rather an awkward
position just now, and need some one to
help me out I must have a drive this
morning, yet have been unable to obtain
any conveyance save the one von saw as I
drove up. What shall I do?" And he
looked to Charlotte for an answer.
"An awkward position, indeed ! answer
ed she. "You bad best drive alone."
"But mnst 1?" he asked somewhat sor
rowfully.
Bella looked np quickly; but she did
not speßk.
"Snrcly, you do not think a lady would
he seen in such a conveyance?" continued
Charlotte with a slight toss of her beauti
ful bead.
Again Bella looked up while a painful
flush suffused her cheek. She was sorrv
her sister had spoken—sorry for her,
grieved for Earnest She- felt snre, too,
tfiat she could not have denied him—that
whatever he should ask would not be im
proper or wrong. How then could her
sister speak th ns ?
Charlotte noticed the expression, and half
read its meaning. She did not much like
the reproof i convoyed; and taming to
her she said, somewhat scornfully.'
/Perhaps my sister will g 0 with you.
W ill you. Bella 7'
" W\ II you Bella]" the young man repeated
earnestly, as he bent over her a glance
which thrilled throngh every part of her
being.
For a moment the blood rushed over her
brow and neck, the next it receded, and
she answered gaily :
"And why not, indeed !"
"But will you go Bulla f" again asked
Earnest, in that straight manner which ev
, er characterized him.
"I should like it of all things !" answered
the enlli usiastic girl, forgetting the em
otion of the moment before;
"But remember how we are to go," con
tinued Earnest quickly.
"Yon will bo the observed of all observ
ed," added Charlotte.
"And what of that?" called back the
delighted girl, as she was half way up the
stairs*
In a moment she was read v. and,.gaily
bidding her sister good bye, she was soon
seated be.-ide Earnest, and tbev drove raD
idly away.
Charlotte half repented her momentary
pride when she saw the tender glance of
Earnest, as he placed her carefully upon
the seat, and drew closer the folds of
her large, warm shawl in which she had
shown the good senje to wrap herself.—
But it WHS too late now ; so taking a book
she prepared to spend the morning alone.
In the meantime Earnest and Bella had
joined the motely throng moving as rapid
ly through the city.
Now they drove close down to the wa
ter's edge, where far as the eye could
reach, one saw nothing but the clear blue
waters of the lake, with its masts and sails
making one think ho were upon|thc Atlan
tic coast, instead of so many in the interi
or- Anon they looked upon the wide
spreading prairie now pure and white with
the new fallen snow, and stretching far
away till it was lost where earth and sky
seemed to meet. Then again they were
swiftly passing through the wide and level
streets of the city.
Oh ! there is life and Qxhilirntion in thus
giving one's self up to the enjoyment of the
hout ! Nature is a good mother to all ;
and when we give ourselves into her keep
ing, she will ever fill the heart with joy and
gladness. Would that more such exercise
—RJPTC Q'jt of door t xercises yere.freeJx
so completely within doors, as many do in
winter, enough to drive all the roses from
the cheek, all joy and gladness from the
eye and all freshness from the heart, mak
ing one old and dead before his time.
The spell of the hour was upon them :
and as they sped merrily along, Earnest
felt his heart warm more and more toward
the pure and artless girl by his side. He
had known her long—he bad known her
well and she had ever seemed the same—
ingenious, truthful, noble and good. He
wondered how even for a moment, he had
ever thought of another : for she seemed
to him, then all that his heart would ever
wish or desire. But could she ever be his?
or was she destined lor another ? The
thought made him desperate. lie could
not endure it for a moment. The question
must be decided at once, and with him, to
resolve was to act.
They had been talking gaily of the scene
around them—or Bella had been talking,
he listened —for amid the multitude of ve
hicles in the street, each had to attend
pretty carefully to his own; when turning
to her wilh another one of those glances
thrilled through cverv fibre of her being,
he said, and his voice whs low and earnest
as he spoke.
'•Bulla, I am a business man, and shall
do things rip in a business fashion, I love
you. Will you be my wife ?"
The g'rl looked up as'onishcd. She had
long liked him —liked him better than any
other on earth ; but she had never dieamed
of being his wife. He was so much older,
so much wiser than she—for she was scarce
eighteen, and in heart a very child —why,
did he not take her sister? She could not
apprehend it all; and almost doubted if she
had heard aright.
For many moments she did not reply,
Earnest observed her closely, and half
guessed in her truthful face the unuttered
thought, she was about to speak, the
ludicrousness of the scene burst upon her,
and she laughed outright. It was his turn
now to look astonished.
"Why Bella, what is the matter ?" he
soon asked, somewhat hurt
"Only think 1 making love in a hogshead,
laughed the mischeivous girl more merrily
than beffirp. "Who ever heard of such a
thing!" and this time Earnest joined her*
even at his own expense.
"Well, well, no matter where," continued
he, taking the little hand that lay for a
moment outside her sbawl. Do yon love
me, Bella? and will you be ray wife? An
swer me trulv ; will von be mine ?'
"Yes Earnest, yes'. but I most laugh
nevertheless. The scene is entirely and
wlioly ludicrous. Quite anew order of ro
mance !" and again her laugh rang out loud
and clear as the song of a bird.
And this time Earnest joined in it as
heartily as she. He could well laugh now;
for had she not promised to be his? No
ra dter how ; she was to be bis, all his !
And as he pressed her hand at parting: —
"Laugh now as much as you like, but to
night I shall call to appoint the wedding
day, and arrange for its ceremonies. So,
good morning, dearest! and in a moment
he was gone.
That night all was arranged; Squire Reed
and his wife giving a full and free couseni;
and in just six weeks from thai time Bel
la Reed became Mrs. Earnest Hammond.
| "THE WAR A FAILURE."
" The fool huth said in his heart, there is
Jno GoJ." Such is the language of Scrip
ture. But, suppose we omit the first part
f of the above sentence—which we print in
| italics —would we be justified in sanertirig
that the Scriptures declare 'there it no OodP
' Clearly not. It would be a clear and dis
j tinct misrepresentation of the Word of
: God. It would be palpable lying. No
' one will dispute this; no, not even Mr-
Jordon, Chairman of the Republican State
I Committee.
j And yet Mr. Jordon. in his late address,
has lied just as palpably. In speaking of
; the last Democratic National Convention,
,he asserts that the Convention declared
"the war a failure.'' Whereas, the dis
tinct language of that Convention was,
"/or the purpose ot restoring the Union, the
war was a faiture." How can Mr. Jordon
look an honest man in the, face after perpe
traiing such a barefaced falsehood ? Or how
! can any truth-lovir.g citizen follow the lead
' of a man who will thus attempt to cheat by
lying.
j Time has proven the perfect correctness
!of the Democrats at Chicago. The last of
i ficial declaration of Douglas was, that "war
is disunion." The Democrats repeated the
declaration at Chicago in 1864. Three
years have since passed away. The Union
is still dissevered. "The war still exists,"
says Congress. Therefore, tho declaration
of the Democrats that "for the purpose of
restoring the Union, the war was a failure,"
; was emphatically true.
Aii Old Statesman Speaks.
Hon. Thomas Ewing, one of the old,
able and trusted Whig leaders, and after
wards a Republican, has recently written a
letter, defending his 6on, Gen, Hngb Ew
ing, from the charge of having stolen any
portion of Jeff. Davis' library. He gives
the statement a fiat denial, and then after
stating that out of four sons, and two sons
in-law, five of them were in the federal ar
my, and that he himself made war speech
es, closes thus :
" This will, I trust, be received as a fair
record of family loyalty, so far as the war
is in question ; but never having sworn al
legiance to Summer, or Thad. Stevens, or
any of their ilk, and having opinions of my
own, as to the constitution and sound pub
lic policy I have ventured to differ from
this • some particulars, and chiefly in
I think there is yet something left of the
old Constitution, and that we ought to try
and save the piece ; that the South is suffi
ciently crushed and humtded, without put
ting them under military rule, or letting
loose a flight of confiscation vultures, to
fatten on the carcass; and especialy Ido
not think the President ought to be impeach
ed because he differs in opinion with the j
two Houses of Congress and because he
will not hold still while they whip him with
nettles."
The reflecting, honest and respectable in
the Republican party re fast leaving that
organization. The ultra unconstitutional
and disgusting every man in its ranks who
has a just regard for liberty, peace and fra
ternity.
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS.
The same God who moulded the sun
and kindled the stars watches the flight
of the insect* He who balances the clouda
and hung the earth upon nothing notices
the fall of the sparrow. He who gives Sa
turn his rings and placed the moon like a
bail of silver in the broad arch ot heaven,
gives the rose leaf a delicate tint, and made
the snn to nourish the violet. And the
same Being notices the praises of the clicr
nbim and the prayers ot the little children.
There is but a breadth of air and a beating
of the heart betwixt this world aod the next.
And in the brief interval of awful suspense,
while we feel that death is present with us
that wc are powerless, and lie all powerful
and that the last pulsation here is but the
prelude, of endless life hereafter ; we feel
in the midst of the stunning calamity about
to befall us, that earth has no compensa
ting good to mitigate the severity of our
losses. But there is no grief without some
beneficent provision to soften its intense
npss. When the good and the lovely die,
i the memory of their good deeds, like the
moonbeams on the stormy sea, lights up
our darkened heaits and lends to the sur
rounding gloom a beauty so sad, so sweet
that we would not, if we eouid, dispel the
darkness that environs them.
Whitle. —Next to laughing whistling
is one of the most philosophical things in
which a fellow of good spirits can indulge.
Whistlicg is a popular prescription for
keeping up the courage—it might be said
good spirits. Some genial philosopher
has well said on this subject, that whist
ling is a great institution. It oils the
wheels cf care, supplies the place of sun
shine. A man who whistles has a good
heart under his shirt front. Such a man not
only works more wil ingly, but works more
constantly. Aw bis-tling cobler will earn
as much money again as a cordwainer
who gives way to low spirits and indiges
tion. Mean or avaricious men never
whistle. The man who attacks whistling
throws a stone at the head of hilarity, and
would, if he could, rob June of ita loses —
August of its meadow larks.
Recipe for Making love. Taxe two
parts sugar, three of soft soap, a little sage
plenty of summer savory add a little wine;
mix well together, and leave the whole to
"sett" for two or three nigbte. It ia best
taken while hoL
TERMS, $2.00 Per. ANNUM, in Advance.
and otjjfoisf.
Why la a tender-hearted person like e
home keeper vrith little fttreitare ? Beaenae
aha ia easily mr.ved.
i
When we there only two TO we la 7 In
the day aof no a (Noah) before and a (yea
and I ) were born.
tither goods may hare declined, but the
rise in hoop-skirts on the street ia at timet
startling.
Of all the absurd hats ever seen, the jap
aneea bat is the worst. It is a plate with a
button on the top.
The man who had to lower his shirt collar
to pass under a railway bridge, arrived in
Nev sYork last week. He was laboring un
der a slight attack of "collary morbus."
A man who has a wi/e or sweetheart nam
ed Lize is not to be believed in anything,
, for he's always sure to tell Lize about every*
thing.
A shoemaker out West has advertised for
"a female who haa a knowledge of fitting
boot* with a good moral character."
Mr. Kent, of Natchez,' was astonished
the other day by receiving a bill of lading
boxes of tom eats. It should hare been to
mato cataup.
Why are young ladies kissing each other
like an emblem of Christianity 1 Becaose
they are doing unt,o each other as they wo'd
that men should do unto them.
PREM TICK'S LAST.—A young man in lowa
after his father's decease, married his step
mother. He liked her so well aa a son, ha
thought he could got step fa'ther.
A man who had been teased to death! for
many years by a virago of a wife, when she
died had (he following inscription engraved
upon the head stone of her grave.
"Here lies my wife, and heaven knows, not
less for mine than her repose.
~ aU | uv UKIUICUVJC tniAt a ffVVWU
and a fodder bed, Sain ?" "Dunno—gin it
up." "Kase de tickin ob de watch am on da
inside, and de tickin ob de fedder bed am on
de outside."
FACS AND FIGVRK. —A young speculator,
having married a very homely girl, worth
something over two hundred thousand dollars
v <n V
declared that it wasn t; the fiace of his wife
that attracted him so much as the figure.
ROMANCE.— The young" married couple who
thought they could live on love and moon
light, find there is some virtue in baked po
tatoes. For taking the romance out of young
folks, marriage ia nearly as bad as a law
suit.
Inspired by the example of a lady writer,
whose latest production is called "Only a
Woman's Heart," it is rumored in literary
circles that a gentleman ot reputation as a
story writer has in preparation a new novel
to be styled "Only a Man's Piuck."
<*
A widow lady, sitting by a cheerful fire in
a meditative mood, shortly after her hus
band's decease, sighed out :
"Poor fellow, bow he did like good fires I
I hope fw has gone where they keep good
fires."
A story is told of a soldier, who about one
huodredand fifty years ago, was frozen in Si
beria. The last exprevsion he made wa.—
"It is ex——," lie iben froze as si iff as
marble. In the summer ol 1860 some French
physicians found him, afier having lain frozen
for one hundred and fitly years. They grad
ually thawed him, and upon animation being
restored, he concluded his sentence with
"ceedingly cold,"
A TOWGH YARN.—I and Uncle Zeke took
it into cor heads on Saturday afternoon to go
a gunnin' after ducks in father's skff, so is
wo got, and sculled dowo the river. A pro
per sight of ducks flew op and down the riv*
er, I tell ye, and a few of 'cm lit down by the
marsh and went to feedin' on mussels. I
catched up my powder horn to prime, and it
slipped right out of my hand aud sunk to
the bottom of the river. The water was
amazing clear, and ! could see it or the bot
tom. Now I couldut' swiui a jet ;o 1 eez to
Uncle Z-ke, "You're a pretty clever fellow'
let me take your powder hot n to prime;'
and don't you think ihejstingy critter would
not. "Well," saya I, "you'rp a pretty good
diver, and if you dive and get it, I'll give you
a priming." I thought he'd leave h'i powder
horn,but he didn't ;be stuck it in his poeket
and down be went—and there he stayed "
Here the old lady opened h.-r ayes with
wonder and surprise, and a pause of some
minotes ensued, when Johuathan added. "I
looked down, and what do you think the crit
ter was doin 5 ?"
"Lord '."exelaimed tbe old lady, "I'm sure
I don't know,"
"There he was," said our hen, "sottfn'
right on the bottom of the river, ponnn, the
powder cut of my born into bis'n V
NO. 6.