Publication.
mr j COUNTY AGITATOR is published
Tiff ” Morning, and mailed to subscribers
l 'ofS DeW,Aa
a i n <KU I* > 3 intended to notify every
MfinWf’? n the term for which he has paid shall
\ ; ctib£ r " lr t!!e s t»mp —“Tike Oct/* on the mar-
MTt (J 5 , pjper. The paper will then be stopped
os of JJiler remittance be received. By this ar-
V » man can bo brought in debt to the
jiff® - fiW a is the Official Paper of the County,
Iff* 8 ' an d steadily increasing circulation reach
es »^f. rr neighborhood in the County. It is sent
inS it '° t ,Je to any Post Office within the county
mi if most convenient poat office may bo
s^U County
r.-ds, not exceeding 5 Imei, paper inola-
NOTHING LOST.
nothing lost. The tiniest flower,
m>t ft 0 * 3 Wlt * l ' n ***• darkest vale',
nm'i lost to view, bas still the power
Tk.° rarest perfnme to exhale 5
Thst perfume borne on the aephyr’s wings,
1 Her visit some lone sick ones bed,
tod like the balm affection brings.
Twill scatter gladness round her head.
There's nothing lost The drop of dew
That trembles in the rose-bud’s breast,
Will seek its home of ether blue,
And fall again as pure and blest;
Perchance to revel in the spray,
Or moisten the dry, or parching sod,
Or mingle in the mountain spray,
Or sparkle in the bow of God.
There's nothing lost The seed that's east
By careless hands upon the ground,
Will yet take root, and may at last
A green and glorious tree be found;
Beneath its shade, some pilgrim may
Seek shelter from the heat of noon.
While in its boughs the breezes play.
And song birds sing their Sweetest tune.
There’* nothing lost The slightest tone
Or whisper from a loved one's voice,
May melt a heart of hardest stone.
And make a saddened heart rejoice;
And then, again, the careless word
Oar thoughtless Zips too often speak,
May touch a heart already stirred,
And cause the troubled heart to break.
There's nothing lost The faintest strain
Of breathing from some dear one's lute,
In memory’s dream may come again,
Though every mournful string be mute;
Xbe music of some happier boor,
The harp that swells with love’s own words,
May thrill.the soul with deepest power,
'When still the hand that swept its cords.
From the New York Tribune.
Horace Greeley in Utah.
TWO HOURS WITH BRIGHA.H YOUNG.
Salt Lake City, Utah, July 13,1859.
My friend Dr. Beruhisel, M. C., took me this
afternoon, by appointment, to meet Brigham
Young, President of the Mormon Church, who
bad expressed a willingness to receive me at 2
P.M. We were very cordially welcomed at
the door by the President, who led us into the
second-story parlor of the largest of his houses
(he has three) where I was introduced to Heher
C, Kimball, Gen. Wells, Gen. Ferguson, Albert
Carrington, Elias Smith, and several other lead
ing men in the Church, with two full-grown
ions of the President, After some unimpor
tant conversation on general topics, I stated
that I had come in quest of fuller knowledge
respecting the doctrines and policy of the Mor
mon Church, and would like to ask some ques
tions bearing directly on these, if there were
no objection. President Young avowed his
willingness to respond to all pertinent inqui
ries, and the conversation proceeded substan
tially as follows:
1L G.-Am I to regard Mormoniam (so called)
as a new religion, or as simply a near develop
ment of Christianity ?
B.Y. —"We hold that there can be no true
Christian Church without a priesthood directly
commissioned by and in immediate communi
cation with the Son of God and Savior of man
kind. Such a church is that of the Latter-Day
Saints, called hy their enemies Mormons; we
know no other that even pretends to have pres
ent and direct revelations of God’s will.
II- G.—Then lam to understand that you
regard all other churches professing to be Chris
tian as the Church of Rome regards all churches
not in communion with itself—as schismatic,
heretical, and out of the way of salvation ?
B. Y.—Yes, substantially.
H. G.—Apart from this, in what respect do
jour doctrines differ essentially from those of
our Orthodox Protestant Churches—the Baptist
or Methodist, for example ?
B. Y.—We hold the doctrines of Christianity,
as revealed in the Old and New Testaments—
also in the Book of Mormon, which teaches the
same cardinal truths, and those only.
H. G.—De you believe in the doctrine of the
Trinity ?
B. Y.-—We do ; but not exactly as it is held
hy other churches. We believe in the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost, as equal, but not
identical—not as one person [being]. We be
lieve in all the Bible teaches on this subject
H. G.—Do you believe in a personal devil—
a distinct, conscious, spiritual being, whose na
ture and acts are essentially malignant and
evil!
B. Y.-We do.
11. G.—Do you hold the doctrine of Eternal
Banishment?
B. Y.—We do ; though perhaps not exactly
as other churches do. We believe it as the Bi
ble teaches it.
IL G.—l understand that you regard Baptism
hy Immersion as essential.
B. Y.—We do.
IL G.—Do you practice lufant Baptism ?
B. Y.—No.
H. G.—Do you make removal to these valleys
obligatory on your converts ?
B. Y.—-They would consider themselves
greatly aggrieved if they were not invited
fuller. We hold to such a gathering together
God’s People as the Bible foretells, and that
tkh is the place and now u the time appointed
for its consummation.
11. G.—The predictions to which you refer
have usually, I think, been understood to indi
cate Jerusalem [or Judea) os the place of such
gathering.
B. Y.—Yes, for the Jews—not for others.
H. G.—What is the position of your Church
*ith respect to .Slavery ?
B. Y.—We consider it of Divine institution,
and not to be abolished until the curse pro
nounced on Ham shall have been removed from
ku descendants.
H, G,—Are any slaves now held in this Ter
ritory ?
Y—There are.
H. G.—Do your Territorial laws uphold
Slavery?
i —Those laws are printed—you can read
for yoorself. If slaves are brought here by
ftose who owned them in the States, wo dp
set favor their escape from the service of those
owners.
H- G.—Am I to infer that Utah, if admitted
J? & “ember of the Federal Union, will be*
blare State?
—No ; she will he a Free State. Star
rory here would prove useless and unprofita-
THE AGITATOR
Hefroted to tfte iSrten&ion of the fUxtu of iFreedont and tde Spread of ©ealtdg &efornr.
WHILE THERE SHALL BE A WRONG DNRIGHTED, AND UNTIL “MAN’S INHUMANITY TO MAN" SHALL CEASE, AGITATION MUST CONTINUE,
VOL. VI.
ble. I regard it generally as a curse to the
masters. I myself hire many laborers andpay
them fair wages; I could not .afford to own
them. I can do better than subject myself to
an obligation to feed and clothe their families,
to provide and care for them in sickness and
health. Utah is not adapted to Slave Labor.
H- G.—Let me now be enlightened with re
gard more especially to your Church polity: X
understand that you require each member to
pay over one-tenth of all he produces or earns
to the Church.
B. T.—That is a requirement of our faith.
There is no compulsion as to the payment.—
Each member acts in the premises according
to his pleasure, under the dictates of his own
conscience.
11. G.-—What is done with the proceeds of
this tithing ?
B* Part of it is devoted to building tem
ples and other places of worship; part to help
ing the poor and needy converts on their way
to this country; and the largest portion to the
support of the poor among the Saints.
H* Gv—ls none of it paid to Bishops and
other dignitaries of the Church ?
B. Y.—Not one penny. No Bishop, no El
der, no Deacon, or other Church officer, receives
any compensation for his official services. A
Bishop is often required to put his hand in his
own pocket and provide therefrom for the poor
of his charge; but he never receives anything
for his services.
H. G.—How, then, do yonr ministers live ?
B. Y.—By the labor of their own hands, like
the first Apostles. Every Bishop, every Elder,
may he daily seen at work in the field or the
shop, like his neighbors; every minister of the
Church has his proper calling by which he
earns the bread of his family; he who cannot
or will not do the Church’s work for nothing is
npt wanted in her service; even our lawyers
(pointing to Gen, Ferguson and another pres
ent, who are the regular lawyers of the Church,)
are paid nothing for their services; I am the
only person in the Church who has not a regu
lar calling apart from the Church’s service, and
I never received one farthing from her treasury;
if I obtain anything from the tithing house, I
am charged with and pay for it, just as any one
else would : the clerks in the tithing store are
paid like other clerks, but ( no one is ever paid
for any service pertaining to the ministry. We
think a man who cannot make his living aside
from the Ministry of Christ unsuited to that
office. lam called rich, and consider myself
worth $250,000; but no dollar of it was ever
paid me by the CburcH or for any service as a
minister of the Everlasting Gospel. I lost nearly
all I had when we were broken up in Missouri
and driven from that State; I was nearly
stripped again when Joseph Smith was mur
dered and we were driven from Illinois; but
nothing was made up to me by the Church, nor
by any one. I believe I know how to acquire
property and how to take care of it.
H. G.—Can you give me any rational expla
nation of the aversion and hatred with which
your people are generally regarded by those
among whom they have lived and with whom
they have been brought directly in contact?
B. Y.—No other explanation than is afforded
by the crucifixion of Christ and the kindred
treatment of God’s minister’s prophets and
saints of all ages.
H. G.—l know that a new sect is always de
cried and traduced—that it is hardly ever
deemed respectable to belong to one—that the
Baptists, Quakers, Methodists, Universalists,
&e., have each in their turn been regarded in
the infancy of their sect as the offscouring of
the earth ; yet I cannot remember that either
of them were ever generally represented and
regarded by the older sects of their early days
as thieves, robbers, murderers.
B. Y.—lf you will consult the cotemporary
Jewish accounts of the life and acts of Jesus
Christ, you will find that he and his disciples
were accused of every abominable deed and
purpose—robbery and murder included. Such
a work is still extant, and may be found by
those who seek it.
H. G.—What do you say of the so called
Danites, or Destroying Angels, belonging to
your Church ?
B. Y.—What do you, say ? I know of no
such band, ho such person or organization. I
hear of them only in the slanders of our ene
mies. i
H. G.—With regard, then, to the grave ques
tion on which your doctrines and practices are
avowedly at war with those of the Christian
world—that of a plurality of wives—is the sys
tem of your Church acceptable to the majority
of its women ?
B. Y.—They could not be more averse to it
than I was when it was first revealed to us as
the Divine will. I think they generally accept
it, as I do, as the will of God.
' 11. G.—How general is polygamy among you ?
B. Y.—l could not say. Some of those pres
ent [heads of the Church] have each but one
wife; others have more: each determines what
is his individual duty.
H. G.—What is the largest number of wives
belonging to any one.man?
B. Y.—l have fifteen ; I know no one who
has more; but some of those sealed to me are
old ladies whom I regard rather as mothers
than wives, but whom I have taken home to
cherish and support.
j 1 H. G.—Does not the Apostle Paul say that
a bishop'should be “the husband of one wifq?”
B. T.—So we hold. We do not regard any
but a married man as fitted for the office of
bishop. Bat the Apostle does not forbid a bish
op having more wives than one..
H. G.—Does not Christ say that he who puts
away his wife, or marries one whom another
has put away, commits adultery ?
B. Y.—Yes ; and I hold that no man should
ever put away a wife except for adultery-,—not
always even for that. Such is my individual
view of the matter. Ido not say that wives
have never been put away in our Church, but
that I do not approve of the practice.
H. G..—How do yon regard what is commonly
termed the Christian Sabbath ?
B. Y.—As a divinely appointed day of rest.
Wo enjoin all to rest from secular labor on
that day. We would have no man enslaved to
the Sabbath, but we enjoin all to respect and
enjoy it. ~
WELLSBOEO., TIOGA COUNTY* PA., THURSDAY MORNING. SEPTEMBER 8, 1859,
—Such is, as nearly as I can recollect, the
substance of nearly two hours’ conversation,
wherein much was said incidentally jbat would
not be be worth reporting, even if I could re
member and reproduce it, and wherein others
bore a part; but, as President Young is the
first minister of the Mormon Ohnrch, and bore
the principal part in the conversation, I have
his answers alone to my questions and
observations. The others appeared! uniformly
to defer.to his views, and to acquiesce fully in
his responses and explanations. [He spoke
readily, not always with grammatical accuracy,
but with no appearance of hesitation or reserve,
and with no apparent desire to conceal anything,
nor did he repel any of my questiors as imper
tinent, He was very plainly dressed in thin
summer clothing and with no air of sanctimony
or fanaticism. In appearance, he i s a portly,
frank, good-natured, rather thick-set man of
fifty-five, seeming to enjoy life, anil be in no
particular burry to get to heaven! His asso
ciates are plain men, evidently born and reared
to a life of labor, and looking as little like
crafty hypocrites or swindlers as any body, of
men I ever met. The absence of cant or snuf
fle from their manner was marked and general,
yet, I think I may fairly say thatj their Mor
monism has not impoverished them—that they
were generally poor men when they embraced
it, and are now in very comfortable circumstan
ces—as men averaging three or four wives
apiece certainly need to be. --
If I hazard any criticisms on Mormonism
generally, I reserve them for a separate letter,
being determined to make this a fair and fall
expose of the doctrine and polity, in the very
words of its Prophet, so far as .. can recall
them. Ido not believe President Young him
self could present them in terms calculated to
render them less obnoxious to the Gentile world
than the above. But I have a right to add here,
because I said to the assembled chiefs at the
close of the above colloquy, that the degreda
tion (or, if you please, the restriction) of "Wo
man to the single office of child-bearing and its
accessories, is an inevitable consequence of the
system here paramount, I have not observed
a sign in the streets, an advertisement in the
journals, of this Mormon metroj olis, whereby
a woman proposes to do anything whatever.
No Mormon has ever cited to me his wife's or
any woman’s opinion on any subject; no Mor
mon woman has been introduced (or has spoken
to me ; and, though I have beenjasked to visit
Mormons in their houses, no one jhas spoken of
his wife (or wives) desiring to ape me, or his
desiring me to make her (or their) acquaint
ance, or voluntarily indicated the existence of
such a being or beings, I will not attempt to
report our talk on this subject, bjecause, unlike
what I have above given, it assumed somewhat
the character of a and I could
hardly give it impartially; but one remark
made by President Young I think I can give
accurately, and it may serve as sample of all
that was offered on that side. It was in these
words, I think exactly; “If, I did not consider
myself competent to transact a certain business
without taking my wife’s or any woman's coun
sel with regard to it, I think;! o ight to let that
business alone," The spirit with regard to
Woman, of the entire Mormon, as of all other
polygamic systems, is fairly displayed in this
avowal. Let any such system become estab
lished and prevalent, and Woman will soon be
confined to the harem, and her{ appearance in
the street with unveiled face be accounted
immodest. I joyfully trust that the genius of
the Nineteenth Century tends to a solution of
the problem of Woman's sphe re and destiny
radically different from this. H. G.
“I Dare Refuse to Fight.— After school at
night, George joined some boys who were amu
sing themselves by sliding hill on their
sleds, —George had drawn hlb sled up to the
top of the hill, and was riding down again,
when one of the boys, to tease him, drew his
sled directly in the path, so the t when George's
sled came in qontact with it he was thrown nff
into the snow. George was inclined to be an
gry at first: but he soon recollected himself,
and thought “if I do not get angry now, this
will be a triumph, I am sure.”
All the boys gathered around him and said,
“Give it to him, George; George; give it to
him. I would pay him well for that.”
“No,” said George: “if he has done wrong,
that is no reason why I should do wrong too.”
“It is because yon dare n<|i fight me, that
you have grown so wonderful good all at once,”
said the boy who had thrown him from his
sled. |
George felt his spirit begin to rise at this
taunt; but he knew he was in the right of it
and he answered calmly:
, “I dare refuse to fight, notwithstanding your
sneers; and I leave you to Judge which re
quires the greatest courage.”
All the boys knew that George was right,
and had displayed the best and most difficult
kind of courage: so they urged him no more
to fight, and even the boy wl o had thrown him
from the sled could not help feeling ashamed
of his conduct. |
Dutch Couple at a Thea:
come to Filadelfy, to serve, IV
civilized,” said Katrina, nowi
girl in a respectable family
and I feel mooch ashamed tc
behave von I know so little!
my beau then—Shqn ho took
one night, van I been in F
weeks. We sit in the galler
goot, and Shon said he woulj
So he put his leg around tt
down mit de pit; and he h
out:
“Katrine ! Katrine ! com
view here.”
“And I leaned over, and
“How canjl coom, Shon ?:
“And he said:—
“Jnst slide down.”
“So I put my legs round tie pillar and shlides
down too. Donder! how djo folks laugh 1 Dey
laugh so mooch dey play no more dat night on
the stage. Everybody laugh and yell, and whis
tle all over de bouse! 1 was mooch ashamed,
den, tho I knew not any harm! But now I
turns red every time I dinks of’it.”
A Thrilling Incidents
In retnrning from Philadelphia about the
middle of August, 1858, the cats were very
crowded, and my companion in the same seat
with me, I found out to be a locomotive engi
neer, and in the course of onr conversation he
made the remark that ha hoped be had run his
last trip upon a locomotive.
tTpon making bold to ask the reason, he gave
me the following story, and since then I have
found it out to be strictly true:
Five years since I was running upon the N.
Y. C. R. R. My run was from B to R .
It was the Lightning Express Train, and it was
what its name denoted, for it was a fast run—a
very fast run, and if I do say it, the old Tor
nado could go. I have seen her throw her six
foot drive, so ns to be almost invisible to the
eye. And let me hero remark, it is supposed by
many that railroad engineers are a hard-hearted
set of men ; their lives are hard 'tis true, but
I do claim to have as fine feelings, and a heart
that sympathizes with the unfortunate, as any
man that breathes. But to my story.
“About half amile from the village of B- - -
there is a nice little cottage but a few feet from
the track. At that time a young married couple
lived there. They had one child, a little hoy
about four years old, a bright, black-eyed, cur
ley-headed little chap as you ever saw. I had
taken a great deal of interest in the little fel
low; and had thrown candy and oranges to him
from the train, and I was sure to see him peep
ing through the fence when my train passed.
“One fine sunny afternoon we wore behind
time and running fast, nor didiwe stop at B ,
and I was to'make up one hour before reaching
R. We came up at a tremendous speed, and
when sweeping aronnd the carve, my eyes fol
lowing track, not over two hundred feet ahead,
sat the little fellow playing with a kitten, which
he held in his lap. At the sound of oar ap
proach he looked up and laughed, clapping his
hands in high glee at the affrighted kitten, as
it ran from, the track. Quicker than the light
ning that blaststho tall pine upon the mountain
top, I whistled “down brakes,” and reversed
my engine, but knew it was impossible to stop.
Nobly did the old engine try to save. The aw
ful straining and writhing of its iron drivers,
told, but too plainly of the terriffic velocity we
had attained. I was out of the cap window
and down on the cow-catcher in a flash. The
little fellow stood still. I motioned him off and
shouted; his little black eyes opened with as
tonishment, and a merry laugh was upon his
lips. I held my breath as we rushed upon him,
made a deperate attempt to catch him, but
missed, and as bis feeble body passed, I beard
the feeble cry of “mother,” and the forward
tracks crashed his body to atoms.
“0, God 1 that moment! I may live, sir, to
be an old man, but the agony of that moment
can never be effaced from my memory. The
cars stopped some rods from the spot, and I
ran back as soon os possible. His mother saw
the train stop and a fearful forboding flashed
upon her at once. She came rushing franti
cally to the spot where we stood. Never shall
I forget the look she gave me, as she beheld
her first-born a shapeless mass. I would have
given my whole existence to have avoided that
moment! I have seen death in all its forms
upon railroads; I have seen men, women and
children mangled and killed—l have seen all
this, but that little, innocent boy, as he looked
up in my face, and was killed almost in my
arms, it unnerved me, and from that day I
made a solemn vow never to ran a locomotive
more.
“That young mother is now in the Utica Lu
natic Asylum. From the hour her boy was
killed, reason left its throne.” He stopped and
wiped the tears from his eyes, and said, “You
may think it weak of me to shed tears but I
cannot help it.” “No,” I replied “but think
it noble ; and sir, would to God every man had
a heart as large a yours.” I have often thought
since, how few are those, who give one passing
thought to a man of strong nerve, and a stout
arm, who guides them through darkness and
storms, with the speed of the wind, safely to
their Journey's end. They do not, for a mo
ment, turn their attention to the iron monster
that is dragging them along with fearful veloci
ty, to meet friends or relatives. They do not
realize that the man who guides the fiery mon
ster holds all the precious lives at his command,
and that the least negligence upon his part
would cause sorrow and mourning in a thousand
homes that are now waiting the return of the
absent loved ones. —Cincinnati Review.
Finding tiie Road. — A Yankee traveling the
other day in Dauphin county, rode up to a
Dutchman cutting bushes along the fence, and
asked him the road to Harrisburg.
“To Harrisburg. Tell, you see dat road, pon
de hillpointing in that direction.
“0 Yes, I see it.”
“Tell, den, you musht not take dat roat.—
You see dis roat by te coal bank
“Yes.”
“Yell, dat ish not ter roat, too; but you
must go right straight by tee barn dare, and
ven you see von roat jhust so,” (bending his
elbows, and describing at the same time,) and
ven you kit dere, keep right along till you gets
furder. Veil, den you, will turn the potato
patch round, de bridge over de river up stream,
and de hill up, and tireotly you see mine ptod
der Fritz’s barn, shingled mit straw, dats de
house where mine prodder lives. lie’ll dell
you better as I can. And you go little bit fur
der, you see two roats —you must not take bote
of 'em.
“re.—“ Ten I first
fas very mooch un
a tidy, Intelligent
“I laugh mooch.
remember how l
Shon, that was
me to the theatre
'iladelfy but three
j; and we see not
id get another seat,
he post and slides
poks up and calls
The Yankee rode off at the top of his speed,
The American rowdy is a terrible nuisance.
Listen to the- description by Mynoheer, the
Tentch landlord:—
down, tish a goot
said J.”
>
“Ter rowdy corn’d in an’ axed me to sell him
some peer. I tells ‘im he had more as would
do •‘im goot. Veil, he call me von ole Teutch
liar, an, begun to proke two tumblers. Yell,
mine rife she call loud for de vatch ouse.—
■Fore de vatch ouse got dare, de rowdy he kick
me behind de back, kiss mine tangbter Petsy
before her face, proke all ter tumblers ‘oept de
olt stone pitcher, an’ spilt mine vife and te Oder
beer barrels town inter de cellar.
Greasing the Wagon Tire.
A good many years ago I hired a “green
hand," just “come over,” to work on the farm,
and 1 had a deal of fun that Snmmer, even if he
did not turn out very profitable at first, though
he was a good, faithful fellow, and after long
schooling became first-rate help. One morning
1 wanted to go to market before daylight, and
I told Patrick to be sore and grease the wagon
wheels well over night. Morning come, and I
started off. Patrick having assured me the
wheels were well greased; but when I bad
travelled ab()ut ten miles, I had for my amuse
ment the hardest kind of music you ever beard,
sque —e—e —sque —e—e —k it went, until I
wished Pat had been there so that I could have
taken grease enough out of him to stop the mis
erable noise. When I got homo, of course I
called him to a pretty sharp account. “Sure
and I greased 'em all, round and round,” said
he, “and ye can see for your own eyes, where I
spilled some of it on the woodens.” True
enough, he had given all the tires a thorough
oiling, as the marks on the feloes, or “woodens,"
as he called them, plainly showed. I couldn’t
scold for laughing, and I have laughed a good
many times since when I've been put in mind
of it by seeing a man waste his work by put
ting it in the wrong place.
There was my neighbor, who had the har
dest looking lot of stock I ever saw, and they
were just as hard as they looked, for they’d
scale fences like so many cats. He used to
keep two dogs and spend half his time in chas
ing his critters out of the corn and grain fields,
when they only wanted something to eat, and'
it would have puzzled a grasshopper to provide
for a family in his pastures.—Whenever I saw
him puffing, and sweating, and tearing around
like mad after his cattle, instead of fixing his
fences, 1 laughed and said, “His labor and ex
pense are all in the wrong place; he’s greasing
the wagon tire.”
Another man I knew, who used to work night
and day to make money, but his farm kept run
ning down every year. He would go to mar
ket at least three times a week, selling every
thing that grew on the place, from huckleber
ries up to sawlogs, and I couldn’t see as he
spent anything, for he and his wife always
looked like distress, but he just managed to
keep up his interest, and that was all. His
land was only skinned, and his manure lay
around loose in the only barn yard he had —
the public road. And when I saw him week
after week going to town with a load of truck
to peddle out, thinks I, he’s greasing his wagon
tire.
When I’ve seen men walloping their boys
for swearing and cutting up, and then letting
them run around nights to the village tavern,
or wherever they pleased, without calling them
to account, although I felt sad, I had to laugh,
for they put me so much in mind of “greasing
the wagon tire.”
I’ve seen mechanics and merchants do the
same thing when they took their capital out of
a safe business to go to speculating, and even
the women have greased the wagon tire, by
bringing up their" daughters to be ladies, by
letting them sit reading novels in the parlor,
while they themselves slaved away in the kitch
en.
I don’t love to think about funny things in
church, but when I’ve heard the parson preach
ing just to please the people, oiling them down
with good smooth pleasant talk, I’ve had hard
work to keep from smiling out loud, thinking
about ’greasing the wagon tire.”
A traveller called lately at nightfall at a far
mer’s house in Alabama; the owner being from
home, and the mother and daughter being
alone, they refused to lodge the wayfarer.
“How far then,” said he, “to a house where
a preacher can get lodgings?”!
“Oh ! if you are a preacher,” said the lady,
“you can stop here,”
Accordingly he dismounted, deposited his
saddle bags in the house, and led his horse to
the stable. Meanwhile, the mother and daugh
ter were debating the point as to what kind of
a preacher he was.
“He cannot be a Presbyterian," said one “for
he is not dressed well enough.”
“He is not a Methodist,” said the other “for
his coat is not the right cut for a Methodist.”
“If I could find his hymn book,” said the
daughter, “I could tell what sort of a. preach
er he is.” And with that she thrust her hands
into the saddle bags, and, pulling out a flask
of liquor, she exclaimed, “La! mother, he’s a
hardshell Babtist.”
Not Satisfied. —Last week a hard working
sailor returned to Milwaukie, after a five year’s
absence in Californio, with but little more cash
than he took away with him. He left a wife
and two children when he went rway, and the
first thing on his arrival was to seek out his
family. He found them in the Third Ward,
and after kissing his wife, saw with astonish
ment that his children, like siieep in the wheat
had doubled in five years, as in the place of the
two, there were now four, and one quite small.
He looked at his wife. He then looked at his
babies. Then at his wife, who stood silently
by. Back and forth, from one to the other for
full five minutes, when he broke out with:—
“Well Mary, for a small woman, without help,
you’ve done amazin’ well!”
An Editor and a young school mistress were
engaged in a conversation the other day, when
the following passed between them ;
Editor.—" Miss , when are you going to
get married 7”
School Mistress.—“ Well, I don’t know—the
first chance I get.”
Editor.—“ Well, that’s my intention; suppose
'we marry?”
School Mistress.—“ Well, I don’tknow wheth
er that would he a chance or not.”
The editor acknowledged himself “in below
the ford.” i
“My James is a very good boy,” said an old
lady, “but he has his little failings, for we ate
none of us perfect: he put the cat in the fire,
flung bis grandfather’s wig down in the cistern,
set the bam on fire, and tried to stick a fork in
his sister’s eye, but these ate childish follies.”
Rates of Advertising,
Advertisements will be charged $1 per square of 10
line*, one or three insertions, and 25 cents for every
subsequent insertion. Advertisements of less than 10
lines considered as a square. The subjoined fates will
be charged for Quarterly, Half-Yearly and Yearly ad
vertisementa:
3 MONTHS. 0 MONTHS. 12 MONTHS
Square, - - - $3,00 $4,50 $6,00
2 do. . 5,00 0,50 8,00
3 do. . 7,00 8,50 10,00
i column, - - 8,00 9,50 12,50
i do. . 13,00 30,00 30,00
Column, - . 25,00 35,00 50,00
Advertisements not having thenumber of insertion,
desired marked upon them, will bo published until or
dered out and charged accordingly.
Posters, Handbills, Bill-Heads, Letter-Heads and all
kinds of Jobbing done in country establishments, ex
ecuted neatly and promptly. Justices’, Constables',
and other BLANKS constantly on hand.
NO. 6.
Power of a mother’s Name—A Tovar
Entering- Prison.
A writer in the Boston Times describes a visit
to a penitentiary at Philadelphia, and gives the
following sketch of an interview between Mr.
Scatteergood, the humane warden of the pri
son, and a young man who was about to enter
on his imprisonment. Few will read it without
deep emotion;
We passed on to the ante room again, where
we encountered a new comer, who had jost
been sent up for five years on a charge of em
bezzlement.
He was attired in the latest style of fashion,
and possessed all the nonohanlance and care
less appearance of a-genteel rowdy. He twirled
his watch chain, looked particularly knowing
at a couple of ladies who chanced to be pres
ent, and seemed utterly indifferent about him
self or the predicament he was placed in. The
warden read his commitment, and addressed
him with;
“Charles, I am sorry to see thee here.”
“It can’t be helped, old fellow."
“What is thy age, Charles i”
“twenty three."
“A Philidelphian i”
“Well, kinder, and kinder not.”
“Thee has disgraced thyself sadly.”
“Well, I ain't troubled, old stick."
“Thee looks not like a rogue." ,
“Matter of opinion.”
“Thee was well situated 1"
“Yes. well enough.”
“In good employ?"
“Well, so so.”
“And thee has parents ?"
“Yes,”
“Perhaps thee has a mother. Charles.”
The convict had been standing daring the
brief dialogue perfectly unconcerned and reck
less until this last interrogatory was put. Had
a thunderbolt struck him, he could not have
fallen more suddenly than he did when the
name of “mother” fell on his ear. He sank
into a chair—a torrent of tears gushed from bis
eyes—the very fountains of his heart seemed
to have burst on the instant. He recovered
partially, and said imploringly to the warden:
“Don’t you, sir, for God’s sake ; don’t call her
name in this dreadful' place I Do what you
may with me, but don’t mention that name to
me!”
There were tears in other eyes besides the
prisoner’s, and an aching silence pervaded the
group which surrounded the unfortunate con
vict.
The black cap was drawn over his eyes. Ha
was led to an adjoining apartment and stripped,
and shortly afterwards he reappeared on the
corridor, He passed silently in charge of a
deputy keeper to a lonely cell in the distant
part of the prison; the door creaked on its
binges, he disappeared; the chain dropped
from the out-side bolts and Charles was a close
prisoner for five years to come.
Aunt Betsy has said many good things, one
among them that a newspaper is like a wife,
because every man should have one of his
own.
Family Recipes.—To Dress Poultry ; when
the weather is very cold, if you wish to make
your fowls comfortable, cut out and make for
each of them a jacket and trousers. Put them
on and your poultry will be dressed.
Bubble and Squeak: Take a saucepan, half
full of clean spring water; put it on the fire,
and let it heat gradually for about an hour.
Watch it carefull until it boils; the moment it
boils it will bubble. Then put your finger in,
and you will squeak!
To Cure Sams : First ascertain what is the
matter with them. Then apply the proper rem
edies ; and if you do not succeed in curing
them, it isn’t your fault.
To Roast a Goose : First find out the biggest
fool you know. Chaff him. Persuade him ha
is the cleverest man alive ; and go on in this
style until the goose has been sufficiently
roasted.
To Preserve Apricots ; Procure from market
a small quantity of the finest apricots that mon
ey can purchase; take them home, and, hav
ing wiped them free from all dust, carefully
lock them up, where neither your servants nor
your children can get at them. This is the
only way of preserving them for your own
eating.
An Excellent Substitute for Butter at Break
fast.—Marry the nicest girl yon know. You
will then have, her preside at your breakfast
table, and, unless you are a sad dog indeed,
you will not then require any but her.
The Saddest Sight. —The attention of bach
elors ia invited to the following “wail” from
Salisbury; “There are some sad sights in this
world—a city sacked and burned—a London
in the midst of a plague—a ship burning at
sea—a family pining in starvation—a jar of
honey smashed on the pavement, but the sad
dest sight to us of all is an old bachelor stolid
ly walking towards his end, his great duties
undone-, his shirt buttons off, his stocking out at
the toes, and nobody to leave his money to.—
Were we such a man, the mild, reproving eye
of a widow or maiden lady would drive us mad.
Butithere is still hope. Uglier and older men
than any of our friends have married beautiful
wives, who trained them admirably, and spent
their money elegantly.
An accident occurred on one of our railroads
recently, caused by the axle of the tender giv
ing way, detaining the train several hours. A
lady inqured of a gentleman passenger why ho
was so delayed ; he gravely replied, “Madam,
it was occasioned by what is often followed by
dangerous consequences—the sudden breaking
of a ‘tender attachment.’ ” The lady looked
serious and was silent.
Ax Editor Loose.— Turner, of Vincennes,
was over at Clay court, which ia ten miles frdm
the railroad, and fell out with the hack—took
his gun—beat the hack an hour and a half on
killed sixty prairie chickens, two dogs
besides kissing three farmer’s girls—one of
whom told him she bad rather be kissed by a
stranger, as he would not stay around and
blab." " '