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ided, $4 per year . -
ANNIE.
years ago, nealh fumiher xViei*
That I from,her did sever,
And yet the light of Annie’s eyes
la beaming on me ever.
Those eyes when first I met their gaze
With tears were overflowing;
Oh ! lonely are the stranger’s days,
From home and kindred going.
Foi stranger hearts are often cpld—
From all oar sorrow turning,
And for us as in days of old _
No sweet home light Is burning.
Our friendship that began with tears.
And words of kindly cheering.
Grew strong and true through happy years
Enduring and endearing.
The hour of parting came at last,
When I my friend was leaving,
And then I saw os in the past
Those clear eyes dim with grieving.
And thus we went our several ways,
Both loving and true hearted,
But lor the few remaining days
Of pilgrimage, arc parted.
Aotf she has reached her happy home.
Earth could not long detain her
Where she has gone, no grief can come, •
Ami nought can ever pain her.
Bat oft 1 those sweet blue eyes -
No longer dimmed by weeping,
Are gazing out from starry skies
And watching me while sleeping.
Andos I welcomed her on earth
And won her from her sighing,
So Annie after my new'birlb,
(The birth we oft call dying,)
Will welcome me to worlds above
Where all things tell the story,
Of God's abounding grace and love.
And God’s exceeding glory.
Virginia.
Aunt Hannah Tripe in Court.
BY CLABA AVGUSTA,
Did you ever go a courtin’, niece, or to
court? One’s about the same as t’other.
There ain’t but preshus little to choose alween
the two, any how you can fix it. In one
you have to be asked a powerful site of im
pudent questions, and in t’other you have to
ask the questions yerself. So there ain’t
much difference in ’em, and if you try both,
you’ll say just as I do.
About the matter of two years ago,- John
Smith’s cow broke into Sam Jones field, and
marched jest as straight as her four legs
could carry her right into his turnip patch,
and eat up two turnips, tops and all. Jones
he seed her, and sot his yellow dog on her,
and the dog (he’s a savage critter,) bit a hole
through the skin of her hind leg, and got bis
brains kicked out to pay for it. So fur Jones
and Smith were square, but there was them
turnips—Jones vowed he wouldn’t plant tur
nips for a well, able-bodied man’s cow to eat
up, and sed if Smith didn’t walk right over
to his house and settle the damage, he’d
prosecute him with a wril. Smith is a dare
devil sort of a fellow, and he told him to
"come on,” he warn’t afeered on him.
As il happened, I was out agoin’ to the
conferees meetin’ when the cow jumped into
the field, so I seed the hull performuns.—
Jones he seed me, and knowed that 1 seed the
scrape, so he jest gin me a kind of scrip of
blue paper, with somethin’ writ orful sernlin’
on it. Cicero read it, and laffed enough to
kill himself.
“What upon airlh is it, Cicero?” sez I.
“il ain't a luv letter, is il ?” sez [, for old
Deacon Dame (lost his wife about a year
afore,) had looked orful sharp at me the day
before, to afternoon meetin’,
“No, it ain’t a luv letter,” sez he, “but a
courtin' letter from Sam Jones.”
“A courtin’ letter from Sam Jones ?” sez
I, “why, Sam Jones is a married man with
ton children and a baby ! What does he
wanl of more family, I wonder !”
“He don’t want any more family as I
known of,V sez Cicero, “but he wants you
lo go to the Falls next Thursday to court,
nod tell what you seed John Smith’s bnndle
now do in his turnip field.”
“0, my Gracious massy !” sez I, half
tkeered at the idea o( goin’ to court. “1
cun go~ii ! s tny ironing day, and I ought
10 ma * ie m y applesass that day, 100. 1 can’t
lvu' VOJ f ust 8° ant f tell nabor Jones that
he glad to obleege him, but I can’t without
6 of onconvenience.” ~ '
‘But, marm,” sez Cicero, foldin’ up the
P s Pnr, "this is a sheriff’s or lawyer’s sum
®on! i writ out of a big law-book, and you’ll
J. e l[ ave to go or be kerried to jail.—
ats the way they sarve folks who don’t
mind the law.”
i ? Hannah Tripe, to jail I” sez
indignant as 1 could be ; I’ll larn ’em
to 't* , s l^an 10 kerry an innocent woman
l ai • I’ll lay the broomstick over ’em if
De y come anear me.”
m \Vm 1° Use la| kin’i marm,’’ says Cicero.
, “ nave to go, and you might as well
The ° S '^ net * lo ’Be levees of unalterable fate!
Tie ?* s k er country must be minded !
Ws rf orioU! country that the Pilgrim Fath
comm , for! You must respect her
®atutd B t” And Cicer(J riz hisse,f,and
soa & eyes and Bands, jest as I’ve seen Par
lnaj..ra.PeweJl do when he’s a giving out the
eluded"lvt ’Be matter over, and con-
° “ elter 6° court; so I ironed
d a „ a l’ anc * made my apple sass Wednes
aitl; kursday, nabor Jones come over
to ker P o loo * l me ‘ nl ° Bis smart new buggy
of i a n. y , me t 0 'Be Falls. We had a sight
'“mips VhiiV 1 ' 6 cow and lh L e d °B’ and lhe
time w»M j • we were a goih’, and by the
had tnvu ~ U P ’° ’Bo court room, Jones
for U P Bis mind that he’d heatin’ Smith
ffuttraioH 'pi? l^e ® reat square room a little
°f folks ’tLre u ’ for ’Bore was the aightest
eje, > black eve. “n ? ye8 ’ gr ! y eyea ’ B reen
" e marched •’ a ] fixt 011 Jone » and las
u p tn front of the Judge.
YOL. Y.
'•Good moroin’ Squire,” sez I, bowing to
a little, old, dried-up nosed feller with ayal
lar wig on. “I hope your honorable health
is good!”
For The Agitator.
“Keep quiet, Mrs. Tripe,” sez nabor Jones,
nudging my elbow, “it ain’t proper to speak
to his honor, ’thoul he asks you questions.”
They look me to a little platform built up
6n one side of the room, and sed I might sit
down if I was a mind to—so down 1 sot.
My goodness what funny actions they did
have ! Talkin’ all sorts of langwidges that
nobody could onderstand, all mixed up with
“constitution,” ‘revised statutes’ ‘civil laws,’
and nobody knows what. I declare I actilly
thought, one spell, that I’d been kerried clean
back ages and ages, to the time when folks
talked in Hebrew and whispered in Paddy,
I’ve heern Parson Scrapeweil tell about it.
Byme-by, arter I’d begun to feel hungry
and want my dinner, a tall, scraggy man,
with green specs on his nose, riz up and
sez he:
“Mrs. Hannah Tripe, stand up in your
seat.”
•‘Lord I” sez I, “you don’t want me to
climb up in a cheer afore all these folks,
do ye ?”
“We want none of your low jests here,”
sez he, coloring up till he looked like a red
flannel night-gown ; “rise up and stand !”
“O, yes,” sez I, “I’d as lives git up as
not —for my back begins to ache, I’ve sol so
long.” So I bisted up, and looked round on
the ordinance.
“Raise your right hand,” sezthe tall man,
solemnly.
“If you’ve no objections,” sez I, “I’d
rather hist up' my left one ; my right hand
glove has got a starin big hole rite on the
palm of it I’’ j
“Every body sot t|p a great laff at this,
and the tall man turned into a red night
gown agio.
“Order, order, gentlemen !" sez a peart
little fellow with a buckle on his hat and a
big bile on the eend of his red nose. “You
will be committed for contempt,” sez he,
speaking low to me.
“Thank you sir, for tellin’ me,” sez I,
“but you’re a little mistook. I hain’t got the
contempt, nor never had it, that I know of,
but I’ve had the influenza bad enough, so
bad ” *
“Mr. Attorney, examine that woman with
despatch— the Court wails !” sez the Judge,
try in’ hard to keep on his long face.
“Raise your right hand and swear ”
“I never swear—it’s wicked,” sez I, givio’
him a look of disgust, “I; a member of the
church, swear! The good Lord forbid I”
•‘Never mind, my good woman,” sez the
judge, “say yes to what the gentleman will
read to you from the book it will be sufficient,
amply so.” ’
The tall man then took up a big book and
read out loud ever so long a lot of gibberish
that Toidn’t understand then, and can’t re
member now, but it was to the fact that I
should tell everythin’ I knowed and nothin’
more, and swear it was all true.
“Dear sake !" sez I, “if I’ve got to tell
everything I know, it’ll take me a month or
two, and I should like to have some dinner
afore I begin.’’
“You’re not to tell anything except the
circumstances connected with the turnip field
of my client,” sez, the tall man, pulling away
at his whiskers.
“I don’t know anything about yer client,”
sez I, “I never seed it, to the best of my
noledge ; it was Smith’s cow that got in the
turnip patch.”
“Did you see the defendant’s cow make
forcible entrance into the plaintiff’s enclosed
field ?” sez he, lookin’ as grand as the king
of Independent Tarlary.
“1 seed John Smith’s cow jump into Sam
Jone’s turnip yard, if that’s what you want
to git,” sez I.
“The same thing, marm, the same thing
only in a different language. • Where were
you standing at the lime of your occur
rence?”
“In the yard, on my feet.”
“What color was the animal that you saw
vault over the fence ? Could you identify
her from all others of the species?’’
“She was a brindle—a thread of red hair
and one of black,” sez I.
“Describe her more fully,” sez he.
’‘She bad a head ; two horns, two eyes,
one mouth four legs and a tail,” sez I.
“Did you see her with your own eyes de
vour two turnips in plaintiff’s field?”
“With my own eyes ? To be sure! Whose
eyes did you think I’d borrowed ?”
“Could you swear it was turnips that you
saw her maslificating.”
“I ain’t gwine to swear anything about it..
She was ealin’ sumtbin’ while, but it might
have been white rocks, for anything I know.”
“Mrs. Tripe, how old are you ?”
“None of your business !’’ sez I, gettin’
out and out mad. “I’m old enough for you,
any way, and you look as if you were man
ufactured in the year one, and eddicated in
the ark I”
The lawyer scratched his nose, and looked
like red flannel again, for all the folks in the
room lafled enuff (o split themselves,
''Go on with the examination,” sez the
judge.
“Do you know my client personally 7”
sez the lawyer, pinting at Mr. Jones with bis
long, rakish Anger.
“I should think I ought to,” sez I, laffin’.
“He courted my cuzin Tiddy Brown, more’n
two years, and got the mitten in the eend.”
There was a great laff agin, and callin’
out for “order, order,” and that only made
’em laff the louder. Jest at this minnit up
jumped a little humbly, red-faced roan that
bad been talking with John Smith ever so
long in a whisper, and slickin' his, thumbs
THE AGITATOR
BehoteSf to the iSjrtension of the area of iFmhom awh the Speeah of healths l&efotrm. j I
WHILE THERE SHALL BE A WRONG UKRIGHTED, AND UNTIL 11 MAN’S INHUMANITY TO MAN” SHALL CEASE, AGITATION JOUST CONTINUE.
WELLSBOROj TIOGA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, AUGUST 12, 1858.
into the arm holes of his Vest, sez he— I “AU,
low njte to ask the witness a.few questions,
your honor.”
The Judge bowed, and the red faced man
went on—
“Mrs. Tripe, you say you know Mr. Jones
—do you know my client, Mr. John Smith ?’’
, “Yes,” sez I.
“What do you know of him ?” sez he.
“State the good yon know of Him, if you
please.”
“I don’t know any good of him,” sez I.
“He robbed my hen roost last spring, of the
best pullet and the bansumest crower I had in
the flock. Thai’s the most I know of him,
any way,”
“The witness may sit down,” sez the
judge, takin’ out his handkerchief and pre
tendin’ to Wow his nose, though it’m my
opinion he was tryio to keep from laffin.
A madder feller than John Smith you
•never seed ; but they wouldn’t let him say a
word, and I was actilly a Peered he’d bust, he
was so full of bilin’ hot rage agin me.
There was a great deal of talkin’ and dis
putin’ in the room—and arter a while the
jury sed they’d decided the case.
One of the jurymen stood up, and sed he
thought Smith’s cow hadn’t no bisness to
jump into Jones’s yard and devour two of his
turnips. |
Another of ’em got up and sed he knowed
the 'cow hadn’t ort to have jumped in, but
the turnips had no, business to look so
temptin, and for his part he thought the tur
nips was full as much to blame as she was.
Another of ’em sed that Jones ought to
pay Smith for his cow’s killin’ his dog, for
the dog he sed was the ugliest critter upon
the face of the earth.
The judge sent ’em all off out inter an
other room to make up their minds what
they’d do—and we sot as still as mice, wailin’
for ’em to cum back. Byme-by the door
opened and in they cum—twelve of ’em, two
and two; end sot down.
“Gentlemen of the jury,” sez the judge,
“have you arrived at a conclusion 7”
All of ’em bowed their heads sollumly.
“Who shall speak for you,” sez he tonkin
as indignified as an owl on a holler tree.
‘•Our foreman, Mr. Antipodes,” sez they,
with one voice.
Mr. Aniipodes riz up, slow and steady, Jest
as you’ve seen ’em hist up rocks with a der
rick, as if he was afeered if he sidled over a
mile he should sprawl hisself on the floor.
Aniipodes is an orful grate man, and his head
is the biggest part of him—rather top-heavy,
ye see.
“May it please yer honor, and the court
at large,” sez he, rollin his eyes round and
round, till they looked like two great dirty
snow balls slidin down a hill, “we have de
cided that John Smith give to Mr. Sam Jones
the sum of two turnips, as the amount of
damage done the latter by the excursion of
the former’s cow into the plaintiff’s primi
ses !”
There was considerable laffin in court arler
this; and one feller hollered “order I” so
much and so loud that they sed it was a fact
he couldn’t speak out loud for a week arter
wards.
Mr. Jones giv me fifty cents for ray servi
ces and brought me home safe.
“Smith paid him the two turnips, and they
(not the turnips) are as good as ever.
Sense that ar scrape, if ever I see a cow
■ hat looks as if she was agwine to jump in
any where, I jest turn my back to her and
say—“Go ahead !”
Infancy of Knowledge. —Mankind, but
a few ages since, were in a very poor condi
tion as to trade and navigation ; nor indeed,
were they much better off in other matters of
useful knowledge. It was a green headed
lime; every useful improvement was held
from them; they neither looked into heaven
nor earth, neither into sea nor land, as has
been done since. They had philosophy with
out experiment, mathematics without instru
ments, geometry .without scale, astronomy
without demonstration. They made war
without powder, shot, cannon or mortars ;
nay, the mob made their bonfires without
squibs or crackers. They went to sea with
out the compass, and sailed without the needle.
They viewed the stars without telescopes, and
measured altitudes without barometers.—
Learning had no printing press, writing no
paper, paper no ink. The lover was forced
to send his mistress a deal board for a love
letter, and a billet doux might be the size of
an ordinary trencher. They were clothed
without manufacturers, and their richest robes
were the skins of the most formidable mon
sters. They carried on trade without books,
and correspondence without posts; their
shopkeepers no cash books ; they had surg
ery without anatomy, and physicians without
the materia medica ; they gave emetics with
out ipecacuanha, and cured agues without
bark. —Curiosities for the Ingenious,
A Kentucky Judge, in passing sentence
of death upon a criminal, recently, delivered
himself in the following style:
“Prisoner, stand up I Mr. Kettles, this
Court is under the necessity of passing sen
tence of the law upon you, sir. This Court
has no doubt, Mr. Kettles, but what you were
brought into this scrape by the use of intoxi
cating liquor. The friends of Ibis Court all
knows, that ef there is any vice this Court
abhors, it is intemperance. When this Court
was a young man, Mr. Kettles, it wasconsid
erably inclined to drink; and the friends of
this Court knows that this Court has nateral
ly a high temper, and if this Court had not
slopped short off, and stopped the use of in
toxicating liquor, I have no doubt sir, but
what this Court, sir, would have been in the
Penitentiary, or in its grave, sir!”
Gains.
Were half the'po'wer that keeps Ihe world in
terror;
Were half the wealth bestowed on camps and
. courts,
Given to redeem the World from error,
There were no need of Arsenals and forts.
Aworyhods.
“He has no enemies ?” indeed !
Then, what has he been doing?
Or, what on earth can be hie creed ?
What has he been pursuing?
A truckling, vacilating course,
Unmanly, undecided;
His little puny soul is worse
Than six-pence, twice divided.
B. Clark, Sr.
They struggle against a fearful odds,
Who will not bow to the people’s Gods ;
So, get you wealth, ho matter how :
No questions are asked of the-rich I trow,
Steal by night, and steal by day,
Doing it all in a legal way ;
Be hypocrite, liar, knave or fool ;
Learn to cant and insult your Maker,
But don’t be poor—remember the rule—
Dimes and dollars—dollars and dimes,
An empty pocket’s the worst of crimes.
C. P. Shiras.
Tyranny will yet for shame
Hold its tongue;
And its clanking chains be still;
But as long as God shall reign
Freedom’s triumph never will—
Never I never, will be still I
G. W, Light.
Attend, oh, Man!
Uplift the banners of thy kind,
Advance the ministry of mind!
Life without work is unenjoyed,—
The happiest are the best employed;
Work moves and moulds the mightiest birth
And grasps the destiny of Earth :
Work oh.
The age is dull and mean ; Men creep,
Not walk ; with blood too pale and tame
To pay the debt they owe to shame;
Buy cheap; sell dear; eat, drink and sleep,
Down-pillowed, deaf to moaning want;
Pay tylhes for soul-insurance keep
Six days to Mammon, one to Cant.
Whittier.
Can the sword slumber while princes still
claim
Right to encumber the Earth in God’s name?
Shall the loud cannon be silent,-while kings
Place their foul ban on the free spirit’s wings?
No I —in the glory and grandeur of Right;
Strike down the hoary, dark' symbols of,
Might I ;
Scatter the minions of thralldom abroad I
Free the dominions of Man and of <Jod ! >
W. D. Gallagher.
The cant of Democracy dwells on the lips
Of the forgets of fellers and wielders of whips.
Then teach the North to love the plains
Where sleep in blood her gallant dead ;
Teach her to make more bright the chains
That link in one each sov’reign head !
Ask not from Her to basely bow,
And like a spaniel lick your rod !
She wears your laurels on her brow,
And master—She has none but God.
Anonymous.
Anecdote of Talleyrand. —This illus
trious diplomatist one day found himself be
tween Madame de Stael and Madam Recam
ier, both intimate friends, both celebrated.
“You say charming things to us both, but
which do you prefer?” said Madam de Stael,
suddenly.
“Madam, such a question is a veritable
ambush. Take care the penal code—”
t‘Piince, no subterfuge here. Which do
you prefer—my friend or myself? Come,
speak—is it the brunette or the blond ?”
“It will be her who will honor me with a
look.”
“What! still diplomatic ! Well, I will
put the question in another form. Suppose,
while sailing on the Seine, the boat should
upset, and we should be in danger of drown
ing, which one would you help ?”
“Both at once, or the one who was in the
greatest danger.”
But, monseigneur, be frank for once in
your life ! Suppose the peril to be equally im
minent t 1
“Well, I would give my right hand to you,
Bareness, and the left to Madam Recamier.”
“But if you could save only one—one on
ly—do you understand ?”
“Oh, madame, you who know so many
things, I suppose you can swimreplied
Talleyrand,
Tennyson’s stanzas on the Eagle have
been parodied. The original areas follows:
“He clasps the crag with boohed hands,
Close to the son in lone); lands.
Ring'd with the azure world be stands.
"The' wrinkled sea beneath him crawls)
He watches from his mountain walla.
And like a thunder-bolt he falls.”
The other aspect of the royal bird is as
follows:
“With hooked claws he clasps the fence
Close by ye hen-roost) gazing thence,
He spies a mice what's got no sense.
“Ye mice beneath can't well see him:
He watcheth from bis lofty limb.
Then jumpeth down and grabbeth him.”
Extreme Bravery. —“ Well, my good
fellow, ’’ said a victorious general to a brave
soldier after a battle, “and wbat did you do
to help us gala this victory I” “Do?” he re
plied, “an’ may it please yer honor, walked
bouldly up to one of the inimy and cut off
his fut.” VCut off his foot I and why did
yoit not cut of his head 7” asked tbegeneral.
“Ah faith, that was off already.”
©ommtmicatCons,
For the -Agitator.
Nellie’s Dream, i!
BY StINNIB.
“Come Nettie,” said my cousin Alice, to
whom I was paying a month’s visit “I have
chosen this delicious morning to call on my
friend Nellie D . There, no excuses, I
know ahe will be only 100 happy to make the
acquaintance of my charming couiih.”
, “Thank yon, Allie dear ; really ilhave no
excuse lo offer; on the contrary yp'ur enco
miums of your friend make me ail impatience
to see her.” j i
“Well come then, it is only a short walk.”
So donning our hats we were off In a trice.
It was a bright, beauteous, July morning; the
air was all redolent with the perfume of a
thousand opening flowers, and the ip'retty lit
tle feathered songsters seemed to have their
throats all attuned and were pourjipg forth
strains of richest melody.
“Oh earth ! how beautiful,” excl timed my
cousin, “how bewilchingly lovely dost thou
appear in this balmy season of flowers.”
“Why, Allie, you tfre really grdwing elo
quent.” ' !
“Am I ? But I was just thinking how hard
it would be to die and leave all this enchant
ing loveliness.” And then she to talk
about Nellie, recounting again andjagain her
many virtues. | ;
“6, I know you will love her, for every
body does.” ■ j 1
“But see, Nettie, yonder in that white cot
loge, nestling amid such a profusion! of shrub
bery, is the home of my cherishei| friend—
my own darling Nellie. Do you agree with
me cousin, in calling it a perfect lilfleeden ?”
“How could I help it, Allie? I; am not
surprised at your enthusiasm; there is an
elegance about it that bespeaks the and
refinement of its inmates.” j
Emmie, a younger sister nfetlis at the
door. After showing us into the cozy Ijttle
sitting room, she ran to call Nellie. | jPresent
ly light footsteps were heard, and ft he next
moment Nellie came tripping in, her beauti
ful blue eyes ail suffused with glittering tears,
and her rich, sunny tresses floating over her
pretty shoulders in luxuriant abupdance.—
She greeted us warmly, extending !a hand to
each. I'
“But Nellie, why these tears ?’| said my
cousin. “What has happened to make you
weep ?” | j
“Oh! nothing, nothing but g; foolish
dream,” she said, through itier tears.
“I am really ashamed of myself. | 1 am not
so superstitious as to place any confidence in
dreams, but 1 had such a troubled one last
night,” said she, growing serious ajg’ain, “the
image has haunted me all the morning-; and
jusl.as Emmie came up to tell meiyou were
here, I was indulging in a good hfearly cry.
But I am so glad you have come ; jyou will
.help me gel rid of my foolish thoughts.”
We chatted away merrily for ah; hour or
two, and when we rose fo go, Nellie accom
panied us to the gale. Affectionately bidding
us good bye, she promised to coma and see
us very soon. Alas, how little did we know
under what circumstances we shbuld meet
again. Surely, “we know not What a day
may bring forth.” ’ j |
“Well, Nellie, what do you think of my
friend 7” said my cousin. 1
“1 think her a very charming person, and
should like to become better acquainted with
her,” I replied. | j
“Is she not beautiful ?” I i
“Yes,” said Allie, “she is not only beauti
ful but good. Yes, Nellie is a cjijistian.—
Ask the poor, and they will tell yoiflo whose
charity they are indebted, whose iheart and
hands are ever open to all their sufferings.
O, I would there were more like hdr,” Al
lie could not say enough >n her prqise.
The next morning, as Allie and I were
busy at our sewing, a mao came ripidly up
the walk, and abruptly entered tlje silting
room. i [
“Miss Allie, Nellie D is dying, and
has summoned you to her bedside,” said he
in a despairing tone. I thought of the dream.
“Nellie dying ?” almost ahriekeij my cous-
“Yes, she was thrown from 'her horse
while taking her accustomed ride this morn
ing, and so badly injured, the doctor thinks
she can not long survive.” | J
Hastily catching our bonnets ;we almost
flew to the cottage. Oh! what; darkness,
what desolation had settled upon that recent
ly- happy home. We entered the [house of
death. Upon a bed of snowy whiteness, lav
the dying girl. Her eyes were closed, but I
could tell by the expression of suppressed
agony, resting upon those marble [features,
that she was suffering intensely. |Tbe father
and mother were bending over her, the an
guish of their hearts 100 deep for l tears. —
The brothers and sisters were weeping as if
their hearts would break.
“Allie has come,” said the molltqr.
Slowly those beautiful eyes were opened.
Never can I forget the mute appeal of those
blue orbs as they were raised so Idvingly tp
my cousins. Grasping her hand, with a
mighty effort she said, “1 am dying Allie,
meet me in heaven.” One struggle and all
was over. Her spirit had taken itk flight to
its home in the skies. I I
Weather Wisdom. —Dutchman, Goot
raornen, Patrick, how you tux 7. , i
Irishman, Goot mornin, t’ye John think
ye will we get iny rain 7 1
Dutchman, I tinka not; we never has much
rain fn ferry try limes. |
Irishman, An ye’re right there l and thin,
whenever it gets in the way o’raihm’ not a
hit of dry weather will we get as' long as
the wet spell how Ids on. i j
Rate* of Advertising.
! 1 "
Advertisements will be charged SI per square o
fourteen lines, for one, or three insertions, and 35
cents for every subsequent insertion. Ail advertise
ments of less than fourteen lines considered as a
squate. The following rales will be charged for
Quarterly, Half-Yearly and Yearly advertising:—
3 months. 6 months. IS mo's
Square,(Hlines,) . $2 50 $4 50 $6 00
SSquares,- - ... 400 600 800
i column, - . . . 10 00 15 00 20 00
column,.;. . . .18 00 30 00 40 00
i > ,
i 1
*
i
All advertisements not having the number of in.
sertions marked upon them, wilt be kept in until or
dcred out, and charged accordingly.
Fosters, Handbills, Bill,and Letter Hesds.snd all
kinds of Jobbing done in country establishments,
executed neatly and promptly. Justices’, Cdnsta
bies’and other BLANKS, constantly on band and
printed to order. 1
NO. 2.
TEACHER’S COLUMN.
Mr. Editor : Seeing no answer lo the
questionspropounded in t he teacher's depart
men', of two week’s since, of course we at
tribute it to deliberalion on the part of who
ever designed assisting us in our difficulty.
Now, fearing, lest by a long continued ami
severe mental application, a cerebral inflam
mation might ensue we hasten to say that
the whole thing has been amicably settled,
and requires no farther thought.
But we want to tell how we settled it j the
more so, because we think it has brought out
an exhibition of some of the' noblest impul
ses of our^nature.
We requested “Joseph” the elder trans
gressor to remain after school. Then weal
tempted to unravel the whole affair, and show
him how wrong it was to take the advantage
of one younger than himself. We said manv
other things which we thought were decided
ly good and pointed, but our modesty forbids
our repeating them. Joseph came next morn
ing with a-face radiant with high and noble
purposes. He detached the shiny buckles
from his own wardrobe and placed them tri
umphantly in the hands of little Henry.—
We say triumphantly, and so it teas, for what
more glorious achievmeot can be won, than
that of crucifying the base and sordid pas
sions of oiir nature, and yielding to the high
er, holier impulses of the soul I
Joseph was conscious of this victory as he
bounded away .to join his males in their play,
and as we watched him we felt encouraged,
with a lighter heart and a more earnest zeal
to betake' ourselves to the improvement of
the children, rejoicing that ours was the high
and holy privilege to be the friend of trusting
youth. A.
Me. Editor : You said you “wanted a
good variety from us teachers.” Well a
sreed,vniiedly we possess a vast fund of in
formation, and your request is. a very desira
ble one. ‘You asked no more than we are
able to give.
But really, allow us to ask one question
yet, and then we’ll bring on the spice !
What can.be more different than prose and po
etry ?—Apd you seo we’re going to make
pome verses one of these days !—real live
poetry ! —poetry that can be' measured and
sung to !! We are elaborating those already
made and thinking up more every leisure
moment we have.
Our question is this. What is the best ex
pedient to make scholars that don’t to ant to
get their lessons, change their minds and
want to ? Prof. Horn.
P. S, No poem shall appear (even if com
pleted) until the above is answered. H.
High Heeled Shoes for Ladies.—A
writers in the Medical and Surgical Jour
nal has been trying to write down the high
heeled boots at present in vogue with the
ladies, and advocates their abrogation on the
ground that they destroy the instep and
weaken the muscles of the—limb. That is
all absurd! High heeled bools have been
worn by men ever since they stopped going
barefoot, while for some generations, until
quite recently, women have been going slip
shod, and are the muscular developments of
the men less than those of the other sex?
Quien Sabe. However, a colemporary says,
we think with considerable force and truth,
that ballet dancers always do best in high
heeled gaiters, and where can be found plump
er limbs and more poetical figures than
among them ? Besides, the high heel- keeps
the foot out of the wet, and thus prevents
cold, or what Mrs. Partington might term
guitars in the head. In fighting high heets,
our m'edical and surgical friends are “going
it blind.” The high heel is not only pro
motive to health, but it adds to the appears
ance of the wearer. In a flat foot there is
no more beauty than there is in a snarl of
right ankles. Our surgical brothers should
circulate more largely, and instead of arguing
nonsense should keep posted.— Buffalo Com
mercial.
Reception op Humphrey Marshall in
-Louisville. —The Louisville Courier (Le
complon) has the following tqke off on Won.
Humphrey Marshall:
The ceremonies upon the wharf, when
Humphrey Marshall put foot on shore, were*
very imposing. In behalf of those upon
whom the announcement in the aforesaid
sheet (the Journal ) had made a deep impres.-
sion, Robert F. Baird made a glorious speech.
He look his stand upon the wharf, and ns the
huge form of Humphrey darkened his vision,
he lifted -up his voice and spoke as follows : -
“How-,are you, Colonel ?”
To this most touching and eloquent recap -
lion, Humphrey made the following appropri
ate and fitting reply :
“How do you do, Bob?”
These beautiful speeches were taken down
as delivered, by our special phonographic re-,
porter, and they may be impliedly relied on.
So soon as Mr. Maisha! finished his reply,
he got into a carriage and drove to the fjou
isville Hoiel, leaving Mr. Baird to lake care
of himself. We sent down to the hotel soon
afterwards to learn what was going on!, and
Mr. Marshall was reported in bed and asleep.
An eccentric wealthy gentleman stuck up
a board in a field uppn his estate, on which
was painted the following t —“l will give this
field to any man who is contented.” 1 Ho
soon had'an applicant. “Well, sir, are you
a contented man ?” “Yes sir, very.” “Then
what do you want of my .field ?” The oppli
cant did nM reply.
be Agitator.
For the Agitator.
sir. Baird’s speech.
mb. Marshall’s reply.