" ' jgrnii of Public&tloiii
the TIOGA COUNTY AGITATOR U pub
JL every Tharaday Morning, and mailed to anb
rent the very rcMonaUe price of On* Dol
•crl^e -nnnm invariably in advance . It is intend-
Pe „„tifv e”ery eabscriber when the tern, for
od 1 , i. t° l!L Mid shall have expired, by the stamp
r>nL” on the margin of the last paper.
-“ T,me ,%thenbe sloped until a further re-
The paper w „ this arrangement no man
mi T C K “JSdebt to the prinlerT
a“ bc b '°“^‘ o 8 u the Official Paper of the Conn
Th . , tnrtrfl and steadily increasing circulation
ly.wilha » i y every neighborhood in the
■cacb'Og I sent y ree of postage to any Post-office
ihe county limits, and to those living within
h'limit,bat whose “ lost eonvenkutpostoffice may
in an adjoining County* ~ •
Business Garde, not exceeding 5 lines, paper in
eluded, $1 per year.
thoughts of heaven. \
Ho sickness there, , 1
No weary wasting of the frame away;
No fearful shrinking from the midnight air,
No dread of summer’a bright and fervid ray:
No hidden grief.
No wild and cheerless vision of despsir;
No vain petition for a swift relief,
No tearful eye, no broken heart are there.
Care has no home . ,
Within that realm of ceaseless praise and Bang,
Xu tossing billows break and melt in loam.
Far from the mansions of the spirit throng.
The storm's black wing .
Is never spread athwart celestial skies.
Its wailing blends not with the voice of spring,
As some too lender flow’ret &de» and dies.
No night distils
Its chilling dews upon the tender frame;
No moon is needed there! the light which fills
That land of glory, from its Maker came.
No parted friends
O'er mournful recollections have to weep;
No bed of death enduring love attends.
To watch the coming of a pulseless sleep 1
No blasted flower
Or withered bad celestial gardens know!
Ko scorching blast, or fierce descending shower,
Scatters destruction like a ruthless foe!
No baltleword
Startles the sacred host with fear and dread,
The song of peace Crealion T s morning beard
U sung wherever angel minstrels tread !
Let us depart.
If home like this await the weary soul,
Look up, thou stricken one ! thy wounded heart
Shall bleed no more at sorrow v s stern control.
With faith our guide,
White-robed and innocent, to trace the way
Why fear to plunge in Jordan’s rolling tide,
And find the ocean of eternal day /
THE BLOODY RESCUE.
i IRUIIIFUL INCIDENT OF OCEAN LIFE,
BY HARRY HAZLETON.
The natives of the Sandwich Islands have,
oi once did have, a prevalent belief, that
when any of their number died, the soul of
Ike deceased entered the body of that mur
derous fish of the deep—the shark.
This reminds me of a story, told to me
many years ago, by Bill Pullhard, while we
were rollicking, one clear day, over the
shadowy blue waves of the Spanish main.
Bill, however, I am very sorry to say, had a
habit, when he told a yarn, of garnishing it
with certain peculiarities of language, not to
be found in any dictionary but that of old
Neptune. Hoping, therefore, that Bill (who,
perhaps, in the form of a spirit—for he died
long, long ago—is looking r over my shoul
der as I write) will pardon me, I shall lake
the liberty to leave out all those “enlivening
expressions” which, however suited to the
forecastle, could never be well received by
the fair inmate of the boudoir. The yarn
which Bill related to me ran as follows:
I once had ihe mis/bmine lo ship in a
whaler. She wsTtl miserable, greasy, lob
sided specimen of what a ship ought lo be.
Her stern rose up as though about to take a
Eying leap upwards,, and her bows sunk low
as if. about to dive downwards. Take
her all in all, she waVa most miserable craft,
and was most miserably manned. Twelve
outlandish-looking Portuguese, who made
fearful inroads into the bread-cask and
sweetened water, ten long-legged Kanakas,
and, lastly, your beloved chum, myself, con
stituted the crew.
The vessel’s name was the “Putnam,”
•ltd there \Vas a likeness of that renowned
“'to painted on the stern, and we had the
Mil of Putnam, with his nose knocked off,
for a figure-head. Well, after we had been
out some weeks from the isle of Owyhee, it
* M plainly to be seen that the Kanakas and
Portuguese couldn’t agree. The latter wanted
10 cut all the lean from the pork at meal
'toes, and leave nothing but fat for the
kanakas; but the Kanakas wanted the lean
j“*tas much as the Portuguese; so that the
»o different parlies were constantly at odds
i ends w i'h ea'ch other. As a natural re
in I, blackened eyes, which could hardly be
tslinguished from the original color of the
otap exion swelled lips, revealing rows of
ar P teeth and now and then a wonderful
““rgemenl of the organ of causality, were
oniinualiy diversifying the looks of the
, ne day I was witness to one of
Me bloody skirmishes between a big Portu
b Me with huge feet and toes, and Kanaka,
in rt, aD enormous shaggy head, who gloried
_ e a P pe l |a ii°n of ‘Scuttlebutthe other's
k e , was Pater. Scuttlebut called Peter a
boar re ' terate d by calling the other's
•W H h tWO P ar, i fi3 'hen came to the
Ctssh'' ! ' e ortu S ue se giving the first blow.
’”8 a “d banging over chests, pots, and
“kid ik now * enl ' nl ° *' ' n g° od ea ro eB, i
casl l " 9 “heers of the inmates of the fore
tad ' en 6'hi a oer a number of blows
g Uese ° changed on both sides, the Porlu
ihe ,l uccce ded in getting ibis adversary by
wfiijg ° al l ’Which he squeezed with one hand,
ftilnw #ll “ lbe °*her he pommeled the poor
most unmercifully.
*Utina B ki* > ' a ' n '- v ev ' denl that the Kanaka
each b| answer 'he question which with
ttou S h° W o? anla gonist repeated t “You got
Jou nr, ■ pose y° a g°t plenty, what for
him in f*? s ? *hile all the time be held
could i, j! • 'h® throat that the poor devil
tl» av ard| y breathe, much less speak. 1
playj'j S ° u know, Harry, like to see fair
•ion of it p ,e *° re i perceiving by the ex pres-
Very p uu , naka ’ 8 eyes that he would be,
•How y ® 6a y w hat the other would not
guese, an j ‘° * s 'epped up to the Fortu
ne Bco»uj° mtnanded him lo let go his hold.
Kanaka », 31 me but did not obey. The
*“4, Bei2i ano * 6 row ing blue in the face,
'trim him. 13 anl# Konist by the collar, I
“P°n a ch * native sank down
hieathe, h» ,* ber !> « soon as be could
>exclaimed:
THE AGITATOR.
Sefcoteii to the ssxttnalow of the Stea of jFm&om ;mtf the Sjmah of healths sufotm.
WHILE THEBE SHALL BE A WEONO UNSIGHTED, AND UNTIL “ MAN’S INHUMANITY TO MAH” SHALL CEASE, AGITATION MUST CONTINUE.
VOL. IV.
“Tam Portuguese, me pay him for dat.
Me t'H (kill) him—roe eat him !”
As for Peier, he said noihiog to me at that
time; but from that moment I knew he en
tertained a deadly grudge against me for my
interference in the fight. Surrounded by a
band of bis countrymen, he would frequently
hold an animated conversation with them,
and from the spiteful glances they cast at
me, I knew that I was the subject of their
talk, although I could not understand a word
of their language.
Two days after the fight, the Kanaka was
taken sick, and in the course of a few weeks
he died. His last words were: “Tam
Portuguese, me pay him for dal—py ,
me till (kill) him—me eat him.”
One of his countrymen took me aside, and
whispered—
, “Scuttlebut keep him word. You see
tum-lye (by-and-by.”)
body of the Kanaka was sewed up in
canvas, and consigned to the deep, wiih the
ceremonies usual upon sucli occasions.
The next day it fell a dead calm ; as far
as you could look, the sea was as one broad
sheet of glass. It had just struck four bells
in the forenoon watch, and I was carelessly
looking over the bulwarks, when I perceived
a huge shark, slowly making his way through
the water, close to the ship. I called to my
shipmates to look at him. The wholp watch
thronged to the side to gaze on the mon
ster, and among them Peter the Portuguese.
An animated conversation now commenced
among the Kanakas, in which I noticed that
they frequently pointed to (he shark, and
then looked at Peter. Presently one of them
stepped up to me, and said that they were
talking about the shark, which contained the
soul of Scuttlebut, the dead Kanaka, and
which bad evidently now come- to be re
venged upon Peter, to whom they had attii
buled a companion’s death.
While we were talking, the shark had
come to a full stop directly under the spot
where the Portuguese was standing. The
latter instantly ran to one of the boats, and
procuring a sharp spade, jumped on to the
bulwarks and darted at the fish. The weapon
struck him just above the tail, nearly sever
ing his body. But if a cat has nine lives,
surely a shark must have twenty, for the
frightful wound did not seem to produce the
least effect upon the tenacious animal. He
still remained perfectly motionless, excepting
a slight movement of the fins. I noticed
(hat the Kanakas looked at one another, and
mysteriously shook ibeir heads. Peter would
have used the spade again, had not the mate
sung out at that moment —
“Bill Pullhard, you and Peter lay out there
on the weather yard arms of the foretopsail
yard, and serve that Flemish horse. You
do the serving, Bill, and let Peter pass the
ball.”
“Aye, aye, sir!” I answered, slinging a
marling-spike about me, and springing into
the rigging, followed by Peter, with the serv
ing-mallet and spun yarn. I laid out lo the
end of the yard, and taking the Flemish
horse into my hand, told Peter lo hand me
the mallet.
“You talk big,” answered the Portuguese ;
“Me no give you mallet—me no pass de
ball—me do de serving, and you can pass de
ball.”
I lost all patience, and seizing hold of the
mallet, attempted to wrench it from his grasp.
He fixed his teeth in my hand, and bit it se
verely. With an oath 1 struck him violently
over the head. He drew his sheath-knife,
and attempted to stab me ; 1 caught his arm
with both hands, and, in doing so, lost my
balance and fell from the yard, dragging him
with me. Down—down —down—in the
depths of the green water we sunk ; but not
for a moment did I loosen my grasp of the
Portugese. At length we rose to the surface,
and on doing so I instinctively glanced at the
ship. This gave my adversary an advan
tage, of which he was well inclined lo reap
the benefit. He suddenly disengaged his
arms, and grasped me tightly by the throat.
I struggled to release myself from his infer
nal clutch, but it was in vain. I felt his
fingers sinking deeper into my throat—l at
tempted to speak, but could not —1 was be
coming suffocated. My head throbbed wildly
with pain, and 1 could feel my eyes starting
from their sockets ; while right opposite to
me was (he dark, exulting countenance of
my antagonist, lit up with fiendish pleasure
as he viewed my sufferings.
“Ha ! ha I ha !’’ he laughed, “I be re
venged now—Portuguese know too much for
de ’Merican—ha I ha 1”
I had hitherto been trying to hit him with
my fist; but, owing to the length of his arm,
which enabled him lo hold me off at some
distance, I bad failed to reach him. Now,
however, my senses were fast deserting me,
and I was becoming more weak each mo
ment. It was then that I perceived a boat,
which had been lowered from the ship, rap
idly approaching us ; and a faint hope that
it might arrive in lime to rescue me now
flitted through my mind.
This hope, however, was dissipated when
the Portuguese, suddenly raising his sheath
knife over my head; (with his disengaged
hand,) suddenly exclaimed:
“Ah! me kill you quick ’fore de boat
come.”
“It is all over with me,” I thought and
was just expecting to receive the knife in my
throat, when the Portuguese suddenly uttered
a wild scream, and, letting go his hold of me,
disappeared from my sight. 1
The next moment, the spot where he had
gone down became discolored with a dark
red stain, which I knew to be his blood. In
a few minutes more I was dragged, panting
and breathless, Into the boar.
"You bad a narrow escape,” said the
WELLSBOEO., TIOGA COUNTY, PA., THUESDAY MOENING. JULY 15, 1858.
captain, when 1 arrived on board. He bad
witnessed the whole affair from the poop,
“That he had,” said the mate; “there’s
Do evil without its -good. Peter was nfibbed
by the shark, Id order that Bill might be
saved."
“Now, then,” said the captain to me, “go
forward to your duty, Bill, and hereafter be
ware how you get to fighting on yard-arms.
It is a dangerous practice.”
I then walked forward, where I was soon
surrrounded by both Portuguese and Kana
kas, who plied me with many questions re
specting my encounter with Peter.
“Didn’t me tell you,” said the Kanaka of
whom I have spoken once or twice; “didn’t
me tell you, Scuttlebut pay tam Porlugee for
make him sick—Scuttlebut am in de shark,
and Scuttlebut eat Peter.”
I was aboutto make some remark, when a
cry of horror broke from the lips of one of
the men, who with a trembling finger pointed
to the water just beneath the waist boat. I
looked with the rest over the ship’s side, and
never shall I forget the horrid spectacle which
met my sight.
I beheld the shark, which had been wound
ed by Peter, slowly gliding along just beneath
the calm surface ofl the water, with the
bloody head of the Portuguese, held by its
long black hair, in his mouth. I turned
away from the sight with a sickening sensa
tion. Surely, if the Kanaka’s soul had en
tered the body of that shark, be did keep his
word and have a terrible revenge.
Damascus is the oldest cily in the world.
Tyre and Sidon have crumbled on the shore;
Balbec is a ruin; Palmyra is buried in the
sands of the desert; Ninevah and Babylon
have disappeared from (he Tigris and Euphra
tes ; but Damascus remains where it was be
fore the days of Abraham—a centre of trade
and travel—an island of verdure in a desert
—a predestinated capital, with martial and
sacred associations extending through more
than thirty centuries. It was near “Damas
cus” that Saul of Tarsus saw “the light from
heaven above the brightness of the sun
the “street which is called strait,” in which
it was said “he prayelh,” still runs through
the city. The caravan comes and goes as it
did a thousand years ago ; there are still the
sheik, the ass and the water wheel; the mer
chants of the Euphrates and the Mediterra
nean still occupy these with the “multitude of
their waies.”
The city which Mahomet surveyed from a
neighboring height,' and was afraid to enter,
because “it is given to man to have but one
Paradise, for his part, he was resolved not to
have his in this world,” is to this day what
Julian called it, “the eye of the East,” as it
was in the lime of Isaiah, “the head of Syr
ia.”
From Damascus came the damson, our
blue plum, and the delicious apricot of Por
tugal ; damask, our beautiful fabric of cotton
and silk, with vines and flowers raised upon
a smooth bright ground ; the damask rose,
introduced into.Englano in the lime of Hen
ry Vlll; the Damascus blade, so famous the
world over for its keen edge and wonderful
elasticity, the secret of whose manufacture
was lost when Tamerlane carried off the ar
tists into Persia ; and that beautiful an of in
laying wood and steel with silver and gold, a
kind of mosaic, engraving and sculpture uni
ted, called Damaskeening—with which boxes
and bureaus, swords and guns are ornamen
ted. I
It is still a city of flowers and bright wat
ers ; the “streams from Lebanonthe
“rivers of Damascus,” the “river of gold,”
still murmur and sparkle in a wilderness of
“Syrian gardens.”
mountain Clouds.
Nothing is more gorgeous and beautiful
than the cloud scenery which circles around
the summit of the Sierra Nevadas at this sea
son of the year. Daily, and with the Utmost
punctuality, the while, transparent mists be
gin their journey from the green, slumbering
valleys below, towards the rugged landscapes
of eternal snow. Slowly they march up
ward, one fold of brightness carelessly and
lazily rolling over the upper edges of an
other, until a huge mountain of many-hued
clouds is presented to the eye along the en
tire line of the Sierras, from the farthest
north to the extremes! southern horizon.
They seldom produce rain, or assume those
hues of darkness that distinguish the rain
cloud. On the eastern slope of the moun
tains, however, during July and August, the
clouds which form the evaporations of the
melting snow collect in storms, emit thunder
and lightning and discharge copious showers
of rain. Viewed from a high point of land,
the contrast between these gay, fantastic air
castles, and the dark glens and sombre for
ests beneath is wonderful and striking—Pros
erpine in the rugged arms ol Pluto—an army
of crystal palaces in Limbo. They are in
Limbo, sure enough; for they cannot pass
over the cold heights of snow that oppose
them, nor return in the face of the west wind
to the valley ; so, like a group of pensive
and chastened souls, wandering listlessly
through the melancholy realms of Purgatory,
they purify themselves by penance for a
brighter and higher heaven; when night has
spread iis drapery over the earth, and the
eastern breeze comes down over the moun
tain’s brow, they sink again into. the green
valleys that gave them birth. —California
Paper.
“Do you go in for the new Pennsylvania
Liquor Law 7” “Why partly yes and part
ly no—l goes in for the liquor but not for
the law.”
Damascus.
A Swindled Gambler,
Some years ago, I was in a gambling bouse
in Cincinnati, a,silent looker on at a game of
faro. I n thosedays such operations were car
ried on rather openly, and almost under the
eyes of the authorities, with unbarred doors,
so that any one could walk in either in the
capacity of a better, or mere spectator. In
the latter capacity I found myself, near mid
night, when the door of the den opened. Just
as the-game began to flag, and not a sound
was heprd but the clicks of the checks, and
the rattle of some dishes a darky was placing
on a table, in walked a tall, raw-boned, coun
try looking chap,in a grey satinet coat and a
coon-skin cap. He walked right up to the
only vacant place at the table, and, drawing
from a side pocket an enormous calfskin wal
let, which looked as -if it might contain at
least a thousand, in fives and tens, addressed
the dealer:
“Loop here, Mister, I’m going to fight this
Tiger up to the nines ! Understand me, I alt
ers fight to the death ; that is until 1 break
you or you break me!”
“Very good,” said the dealer, “you are
one of the kind we like to deal for.” And
his eyes .fairly danced at the certainty of
depleting tbe'plethoric looking pocket book.
“But understand me,” continued the rough
customer, “there is one thing you break me,
you must give me money enough to carry
me home.”
“I’ll do it,” said the “leg.”
“Yes! yes ! yes !” responded the entire
party. Here the darky announced supper,
and the keeper of “the Tiger” announced a
recess of half an hour. The crowd went
into the good thing prepared, and Rough
was not a whit behind the rest. He dived
into the venison, the oyster pie, and the
“chicken fizins,” until he could eat no more
with any degree of safely to himself—not
forgetting to wash down the whole with lib
eral potations of brandy.
Refreshments over, labor bade fair to com
mence in right down earnest. The dealer
took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, and
sealed himself. Rough squared himself at
the table, and again drew the ponderous wal
let. All eyes were now turned upon him ;
for spectators, patrons of the establishment,
and even bankers themselves looked for a
tall game.
Rough drew from one of the pockets of the
capacious wallet, a greasy and rather suspici
ous looking five dollar bill, and called for the
worth of it in chips. After scrutinizing it
for a moment, the dealer tossed it into his
drawer, and passed over a stack of ten chips
to Rough. He next gave the cards sundry
scientific “flirts,” placed them in the box,
and announced “All Beady I” Rough placed
his ten chips on (he ace, and the deal went on.
Some eight or ten cards were drawn out,
when on ace came to view on the lop of the
box, and the dealer put ten more chips on
top of Rough’s pile.
Rough let the twenty chips lay upon the
ace, aud it was not long before another one
made its appearance, but this time fell by the
side of the box, and the dealer “raked down”
the entire pile. He then waited a few mo
ments in expectation that Rough would open
the pocket booh again, but that individual
continued resting his chin on the palm of
his hand, and gazing abstractedly on the
ace.
“Well,” said the “leg,” ain’t you going to
bet any more?”
“Nary red—l’m broke—flat!” said Rough.
The “leg” laid back in his chajir, and in a
lone of the most - profound astonishment,
said “The deuce you are ! and I pledge my
selfto give you money enough to carry you
home in case you got broke?”
“You did that same, old boss.”
“Where do you live ?”
“At Brownsville, up the river.”
“What will it cost to lake you there ?
“At the present stage of water, 1 think I
can get up for about fourteen dollars.”
Such a shout as went up at this juncture
was never before heard within (he walls of a
faro room,! —while with great good humor
the “leg” counted out the fourteen dollars.
My friend,” said he to Rough, “it is not
every day one meets a patron like you. Go
and help yourself to another drink of braudy
and water, and a cigar. Whenever you come
to town again, give us a call. Call often—
you will And the latch string out. I wish
you a safe journey. Give my respects to
your wife and. children. Bye bye !”
Rough didn’t shrink one iota from his
raillery, but took the proffered drink and
cigar. “I say,” said he as he held the door
ajar, “I wish you better luck with the next
green looking customer that comes along;
but before you make such a bargain with him,
jest ascertain where he lives, and the size'of
his pile!”—and i so saying he disappeared
amid the guffaws of the crowd, in which
the dealer himself heartily joined.
A distinguished and ex war-minister resi
dent in Pennsylvania, tells a good story of a
Dutch neighbor of his whoTiad and
was greatly puzzled to know how he''CameL
by it.
“What is the matter with you my friend 7”
inquired the judge, who had called in to see
his sick neighbor.
“Veil, I don’t know chudge—dey say it is
de coitt —but vy should I have de coul 7 I
lives blain ; 1 don’t eat doo much nor drinks
doo much ; vy should I have de coutl”
“Perhaps,” said the judge, it is heredita
ry 7”
“Veil, replied the invalid, with the look of
a man who has been suddenly enlightened on
a difficult subject—“Veit, I guess it ish he
reditary—l remember, my wife's uncle bad
de cout!”
CONFESSIONAL.
How dearly I answer fair things and bright—
From the star with playful greetings of light,
To the wondrous questioning of the flower—
The visible soul of the sunny hour;
From the fund last look, renewing in dream,
To hers which lures with a nightly gleam ;
But there's an eye whose transient ray
Hath fleeter and fairer might than they!
A dear delight is the calling chime
Of bird and stream in the summertime;
And a joy each sweetly earnest sound
From hearts preferring unsealed around;
But there's a voice whose slightest word
Is pleasanter far than wave or bird; I
And tones were never so winsome near
Bat freely I'd turn (bat voice to hear. I
Dan Barbie and the Englishman.
■ We were once on a steamer along with the
late excellent comedian, Dan Marble. Of
course there was some big “story telling”
during that trip. Among Dan’s auditors was
an English gentleman “on the tour jof Amer
ica.” He seemed particularly wide awake
to all Dan said, for the tourist’s note book
was in frequent use to catch the gopd thipgs
that fell from the “Live Yankee’s lips. Ob
serving this, Dan “spotted his man,” and be
gan the relation of a series of adventures and
experiences which literally “astonished the
natives,” though these latter gentlemen, see
ing the drift of the joke, preserved* serious
faces. There were tales of .horroir, ai, d of
real tragedies, in which the narrator 'had
“placed” a leading part; there were deeds
and hairbreadth escapes by sea { and land;
there was the incident of the mother who de
voured her own child ; all of which the as
tonished traveler seems to credit! with most
implicit faith. At length Mr. Marble, appa
rently tired of rehearsing his adventures, des
cended to topics of the day. He adverted to
the fact that alligators had been- found to be
very useful animals, and stated that they were
at that time, actually employed as mail car
riers between St. Louis and i Orleans.
He said a passenger on a steamer would oc
casionally see a negro, with a mail! bag across
his shoulder, going up or down the river, at
a speed of 60 or 70 miles an hour—an alli
gator being the “horse.” So docile had the
“animals” become, that it was probable they
would be introduced as mail carriers in all
the rivers of this country ! All this the au
dience heard, with every muscle of the face
strained to subjection. The tourist beckoned
to Marble at the end of this narration, and
the two went out together. All were nowon
the qui vine as to “what was up.” [Dan re
turned, after a while, with a face radiating
with smiles. It was evident he Had “won.”
Ha finally explained: “The Englishman
asked if what he had related was a solemn
fact? Yankee replied, ’pon honor! it was!
Englishman then said, if Yankee would write
down the particulars of the circumstances,
for his use in a work he was preparing on
‘American Features under English Scrutiny,’
that he would pay five pounds for jhe accom
modation. t Yankee replied that ati American
gentl-eman would disdain lo accept! money for
such a service; but said it was customary,
when a courtesy was lo be returned, for the
party to stand the champagne suppers.—
Whereupon the Englishman had gone to the
steward, and ordered such a repast I”
Oh, that ovation of Briton to Yankee! It
cost about eighty dollars. The .queen and
her children were toasted—
was sung—and -the Englishman iwas put to
bed drunk, to wake up the next morning and
find his guests all departed. We have looked
in vain for that promised book, and; hope it
may yet be forthcoming. —Cosmopolitan Art
Journal. ,
Pat Girls and Vinegar.!
I
Taken in moderation, there is no doubt'
hat vinegar is beneficial ; but in excess it im
pairs the digestive organs. Experiments on
artificial-digestion show, that, if the'quanlity
of acid be diminished, digestion isj retarded ;
if increased beyond a certain point, the same
result is produced. There is reason,, there
fore, in the vulgar notion, unhappily too fond
ly relied on, that vinegar helps to keep down
any alarming adiposity, and that ladies who
dread the disappearance of their Igraceful
outline in curves of plumpness expanding in
to “far,” may arrest so dreadful a result by
liberal potations of vinegar; but they can
only so arrest at the far more dreadful ex
pense of their health. The amount! of acid
which will keep them thin will destroy their
digestive powers. Portol gives a case which
should be a warning-
“A few years a«o, a young lady in easy
circumstances, enjoyed good health ;[she was
very plump, had a good appetite, and a com
plexion blooming with roses and lilies. She
began to look on her plumpness with suspi
cion ; for her mother was very fat,land she
was afraid of becoming like her. jAccyrd
ingly, she consulted a woman whq advised
her to drink a glass of vinegar daily i the
young lady followed the advice, and her
plumpness diminished. She was delighted
with the success of the experiment, and-con
tinued it for more than a month. She began
to have a cough ; but it was dry at jits com
-fflencement, and was considered as , a slight
cold wßtefr-would go off.- Meantime, from
dry it became moist, a slow fever dame on,
and a difficulty of breathing, herl body be
came lean and wasted away, night sweats,
swelling of the feet and of the legs succeeded,
and a diarrhea terminated her life.” j There
fore young ladies, be boldly fat I Never.pine
for graceful slimness and romantic i pallor ;
but if Nature means to be ruddy rotund, ac
cept it with a laughing grace, which will cap
tivate more hearts than all the paleness.of a
circulating library.— Ladies' Journal. 1
A fop is like a cinnamon tree—the bark is
worth|raore than the body.
Rates of Advertising.
Advertisements will be charged SI per square of
fourteen lines, for one, or three insertions, a|nd 35
cents for every subsequent insertion. All advertise*
m’enls of less than fourteen lines considered as a
squate. The following rales will be charged for
Quarterly, Half-Yearly and Yearly advertising:—
3 months. 6 months, 13 mo’s
Square, (14 lines,) .$2 50 $4 50 $6 00
SSqnares,- .... 400 600 800
,J column, . . 10 00 15 00 20 00
column,- - - . .18 00 30 00 40 00
-All advertisements not having the number of in
sertions marked upon them, will be kept in until or.
dered out. and charged accordingly.
Posters, Handbills, Bill,and LetterHeads.and all
kinds of Jobbing done in country establishments
executed neatly and promptly. Justices’, Consta'
bles’ and other BLANKS, constantly on hand and
printed to order.
Nb. L.
The ignorance concerning this country
among otherwise well informed English folks
was curiously illustrated in the case of Gen.
W , (a good fellow, but bogus general,)
who visited England a few years ago. Hav
ing occasion to pass a few days in a provin
cial town, which boasted its literary coterie,
he received an invitation through an acquaint
ance from Miss Blue Stocking, to attend a
soiree. The general, of course, went, and
being a fine, handsome, agreeable fellow, he
was quite a lion.
In the course of the evening, Miss Blue,
who had managed to secure his undivided at
tention, tapped him playfully with her fan,
and said:
“Do you know that you are a naughty
man ?”
“How so madam?’’ asked the general.
“Why, for deceiving us all so; but I shan’t
tell on you, of course ; only every one in the
room has not seen as much as I.’’
The general became nervous, and thought
of course that he must have committed some
terrible faux pas, but as the lady seemed
kind and forgiving, he determined to probe
the matter.
“My dear lady, I am very sorry if I have
bee guilty of any dereliction ; do tell me that
I may apologize.”
‘.‘O I” said Miss Blue, “it’s only pretending
to be an American I”
“Pretending to be an American! But I
am an American, madam.”
“Yes, peihaps you live there ; but you are
not a native, you know,”
“On my honor, madam, a real live native
of the great Slate of New York.”
“That will do for the company to think,
general,” said the literary lady, “and of
course I shall not undeceive them ; but you
must know I had a very distinguished Amer
ican gentleman, who was a native, to lunch
with me this morning, and 1 was sorry I
could not have him to meet you to-night;
but he was not'at all lilTe yom His raven
hair curled in such beautiful little ringlets all
around his head, and his complexion was
dark—very dark—a perfect Othello of a fel
low.”
' “A nigger, by George!" thought thegen
eral; and begging our lady not to expose this
little ruse, in trying to pass off for an Ameri
can, he got into a corner and enjoyed his
laugh. ___ ' ■
A Good Yarx is told of Dr. Thompson,
of Atlanta, a generous, good man, a lip-top
landlord and wit ; but he certainly caught it
once. A traveler called very late for break
fast ; the meal was hurriedly prepared.—
Thompson, feeling that the ‘Teed - ’ was not
quite up to the mark, made all sorts of apolo
gies all around the eater , who worked on in
silence, never raising his head beyond the af
finative. influence of his fork, or by any act
acknowledging even the presence of mine
host. This sulky demeanor rather “flea’J”
the Doctor, who, changing the range of his
battery, stuck his thumbs in the arm-holes of
his vest, expanded his chest by robbing the
room of half its air, and said : “Now, Mis
ter, dod durn me if I haint made all the apol
ogy necessary, and more too, considering the
breakfast and who gels it, and now I tell you
I have seen dirtier, worse cooked, worse last
ed, worse looking and smaller breakfasts
than this is several times.” The weary,
hungry one meekly laid down his tools,
swallowed the bite in transitu, placed the
palms of his hands together, and modestly
looking up at the vexed and fuming landlord,
shot him dead with the words following, viz :
“Is—what—you—say—true ?” “Yes, sir,”
came with vindictive promptness. “Well
then, I’m blest, boss, if you haint out travel
ed me /”
There was a small nigger posted in the
front door, especially to tell the wayfaring
man “dat he didn’t owe nufHn dar sartin
sure.” After he was fairly under way,
Thompson was observed creeping from an
attic window, taking a prolonged rear view
of the steed and his rider through a four foot
telescopes It has been intimated that the
Doctor Hesitated many seconds between the
choice of the glass and a double barreled
shot gun.
A good story is told of a New Orleans
editor, who thought himself “some” at ten
pins. He challenged a stranger one evening,
who said, that he wasn’t much of a player,
but he’d roll him a game just for amusement,
and they began. He won two games easily,
and then proposed that he should roll with
his left hand against the editor’s right. This
was assented to, and the result was as before,
two more games being scored to the editor’s
account. The stranger then seriously pro
proposed to roll again, and not use, his hands
at all, but to kick the balls down the alley,
the other using his right hand as usual. The
editor agreed, thinking he had the fellow sure
then ; but he kicked the balls down the alley
with astonishing precision and success, ma
king “strikes” and “spares” in a style which
struck terror to the soul of the dumbfounded
editor. Two games were played in this
unique manner, and were both scored against
the editor. He then offered to play another
game and blow the balls down the alley,
using neither hands nor feet, but the editor
was quite satisfied, and left the place amid
the laughter of the company.
‘-‘Frank,” says one student to another, whom
he caught swinging a scythe most lustily in a
field of stout herdsgrass, “What makes you
work for a living? A fellow with your
talent and ability should not be caught en
gaged in manual labor, I mean to get my
living by mv wits.” “Well, Bill, you can
work with duller tools than 1 can!”
& Real Native.
\