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Quarterly, Half-Yearly and yearly advertising
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posters, Handbills, Bill, and Letter Heads,and oil
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executed neatly and promptly. Justices*, Consta
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RAIN ON THE ROOF.
When the humble shadows hover
Over the starry spheres.
And the melancholy darkness
Gently weeps in rainy tears,, . '
’Tis joy to press the pillow
Of s Cottage-chamber bed.
And listen to the patter
. Of the soft rain over heed*
Every tinkle on the shbgk*
Has an echo in the Aeart,
And. a thousand dreamy fancies
Into busy being
And a thousand
Weave tbdr fright hues into woof,
As I listen to rhe palter
Of the soft rain on the roof
: There in fancy comes my mother,
As sfao used to, in years agone, .
To survey her darling sleepers
Ere eho-left them till the dawn;
~I cafa see her bending o’er me
While ( hear the soft refrain
Which is played upon the shingles
By the patter of the rain.
Then my little seraph sister.
With her wings and waving hair, »
And her brighUcjcd cherub brother,
A serene angelic pair,
Glide around my wakeful pillow.
With their praise of mild reproof
As I listen to the murmur
Of the soft rain on the toot
And another comes to thrill me
With her eyes delicious blue,
And 1 forget gazing on her,
That her heart was all untrue;
I remember but to love bee
With a rapture kin to pain.
And the hearts quick pulses vibrate
To the patter of the rain.
There is nought la Art's bravura*
That can work with such a spell
In the spirit's pure deep fountains,
Whence the holy passions well,
As that melody of nature,
That subdued, subduing strain •
Which is played upon the shingle*
By the patter of the rain.
Initiating a Domestic.
• Mrs. Walter Fairfield wished to initiate a
new domestic in the secret of doorkeeping.
“You will te sure, Biddy, and not suffer a
person to stand long in the vestibule without
answering the bell.’’
“Certainly not, ma’am, may it ptesse your
ladyship.”
“And there will be ladies calling, Biddy,
about whom I must give you certain instruc
tions. 1 hope you will learn to discriminate
character. All ia not gold that glistens.”
“And don’t ] know that by Ibe brass-pin
Michael O’Ffathery gave me of a Tbanks"iv
ing eve V ’ °
“Biddy, there will be a young lady very
genteelly dressed, with a pink drawn hat and
a rfcu euiururueieja gill} UIUJS, aau \mcii
ever she inquires for me be sure and say, ‘she
is out.’ ”
“Biddy looked wild—“ And what else
should 1 say if you’re gone mistress I”
“Bat (hat’s not it, you stupid girl; at any
rate you are, to say I am out, even if 1 am
in my parlor chatting with a friend.”
“And to another who comes in a brown
velvet bat and marabout leathers, and short
satin cloak, you ate to say the same, ‘she
is out.’ ”
Biddy nodded assent, and awaited further
orders.
“To a young lady who calls with a music
book under her arm, lam out. To a young
gentleman with a little file of papers, who
has a large quantity of whiskers about his
face—recollect, Biddy, to him say, I am out
—yes, out of the city for a few days. To
an elderly lady who is dressed in black, who
willdetnand very uncivilly to see me. be sure'
Biddy, and say to her, I am_,qul.”
“Lord help me, ma’am, and to whom shall
I say you are in 1”
“First let me see your power of memory.
To whom, Biddy, have I directed you to say
not at home 1”
“To the man so very hairy—to the sun
like wothan. in black —to the -pink bat and
the velvet one.”
“Right, Biddy; you certainly promise
well-now be sure and practise as well. All
other ladies who may call from twelve to
two, be sure and admit them in the farther
drawing-room.”
Biddy courtesied.,
“I think,” replied' Mrs. Fairfield to her
husband that same evening, “we shall have
a treasure in this young Irish girl—she re
ally seems to have a good understanding,” r>
Mr. Fairfield hummed a tune lo the words,
"when I can read my title clear,” &c.
The next morning a gentleman called and
inquired for Mrs. Fdirfield. He had huge
whiskers, but Biddy concluded it was not
the young man she was warned not lo admit,
so she threw open the drawing-room. “Say
lo Mrs. Fairfield, Mr. Sykes has called.
“Mr. Sykes, why Biddy,'that is our min-
ister; just uncover the mirror in the front
room—it looks hideous, and the minister
will not observe what you are doing in the
distance,’’
“I called, Mrs. Fairfield, to secure your
valuable aid in inducing housekeepers to pa
tronize Mrs. Wheeler’s Intelligence office,—
Mrs. Wheeler is a member of our church,
and a very worthy woman, dependent on her
own exertions; she will select only those
females whose moral characters are well es
tablished.” ■ .
“A worthy object, Mr. Sykes!’ I cer
tainly will give it my ..warmest encourage-'
®*ot. Of course she will secure no places
£ lven . lo theft, lying, and similar
/• I 'his will make quite model homes
W sV- *^ le P racl ‘ ce artful deception,
w rnl' ** M cause< l tne unparalleled mis
_le • members and all others, ought
tnsfifl sound principles into domestics."
Mr. Sykes .admired the Christian'spirit
» a ,P^ rvat i e£ i Mrs. Fairfield’s, discourse.—
e ished ail bis church was as worthy; hut
THE AGITATOR
i i S
Cboug to rn mtemUrn ot mMxtn ot iFmftom aw* m Spvea* oi ©ealtbp aufovi*.
WHILE THEBE SHALE BE A-WBOKO UNSIGHTED, AND UNTIL “Man’s INMUMAWITjr TO 3IA If”, SHALL CEASE, AGITATION MUST CONTINUE.
VOL. IV.
The hell rang, and a young man inquired
for Mrs. Fairfield, Biddy bowed him in also ;
but not a sign of a name would he give as to
who called. ,
.. “Is he light complexioned, Biddy 1”
“Yes, ma’am, baring bis hair.”
“O, I know who it is,” and all compla
cency and smiles, Mrs. Fairfield entered,
wheolo! Mr. Simonds had called for ihe
payment of a Pariaan head-dress, amounting
to the. sum of ten dollars, worn at Caradori’s
last concert! She could have killed the Irish
girl for admitting him.
The neat morning the lady in' the pink
hat called, and Biddy of course let her in,
forgetful of her orders.
“Mrs. Fairfield, I have brought you Miss
Ellen’s tuition for dancing" three quarters—
sevenly five dollars, .'
■ -McgjPairfield pul it in the card rack,,re
raarking that “she would show it to her hus
band”—and again gave Biddy a tirade for
disobeying orders.
Finally the lady in deep black called, and
Biddy made no scruple to say “tny mistress
bade, ,me say she was out.” The woman
looked imploringly—“will you say to liifrs.
Firfield that that small bill for making a
dozen of shirts, for Mr. Fairfield, is again
presented, and must be paid,”
Biddy did as the woman directed, but the
poor seamstress had to wait a little longer.
And Biddy was that day dismissed for “stu
pidity and want of discrimination.”
Mrs. fairfield, in future, ia going to Mrs,
Wheeler’s office, to procure goad, truthful,
honest help; for she says it is a duly she
owes to the woman,on account of being con
nected with her in ijje same church. She
says, moreover, she', must Jiave a new cloak
similar to Mrs. Blair’s, which only cost fifty
dollars; so the dancing master, and the
seamstress, and the music master and the
French milliner, roust wait, for she has al
ready expended twice that sum over, when
her husband had given it to her'expressly to
pay these bills; but she still maintains, like
many nominal Christians, (bat one must dress
fashionably to be -respected.
Elder Fawail on the “Speerits.”
Elder Spike of Hornby, Me., has written
a letter to the Portland Transcript describing
the doings of the Elder in Hornby. We do
not see how any one can resist the Elder’s
logic:
“Elder Phine-as Fausil preached agin it
last Sabberday. It was a great' aoulburst of
the Elder’s, an gin comfort, to many. Ido
suppose thai.Elder Fawsil, when- he’s fairly '
a r *
lfeye^^^^^i-SLfej?eh u b. !
of a yerlin coall. You orter,hear bim,talk
of the divil—jest as easy and famillyer as
though he knew he’d got the critter under bis
thumb, an ? was sartin he bad holt of bim
wbar the hair was short. But I was goin to
say suthin of this last sarminl of bisn.
“The Elder laid daoun seving pints, an
proved era all. ' • ’ -
“Fust. Speeritooalisra ,is the works of
Satin.
“Second. Its the tow jints, worked by odd
force an vitalized super carbonick electric
fluid, "... , „ .
“Third. (This pint I didn’t get holt of
egzactly, he not speakin very legibly—but it
was fther Mesmerism or Mormonisra, but u
dont matter much, as which ever it was, he
proved it.)
“Fourth. Its Annymill magnitudes.
“Fifth. (This pint, nythey, t~cant give
verbuokum : but it was some kind of a bug
saounded suthin like Jewn-bug.)
“Sixth. Ef it war speerits, they war evil
speerits.-- ' , 'i >
“Seventh, Thar is no speerits, no-how.
“The discoarse was chock full of Scripter
bearing on the several pints, an hysterical
facks—for he’s just as lamed as ha can be,
an I do actooally bleve, ef by accident, (be
wouldn’t do it noinly,) he should get any
more into him, he’d bust right up 1 Why,
he’d handle them great Greek and Latin
words in sich a way that nobody can under
stand, just as easy as 1 kin say caow, or
tater, or any other simple household word;.
“He said ihis-sort of thing was nothin new
to him. Alluded to the Witch of Endor, an
the hogs which got the divil into them. At
ibis pint the Elder went off on a target about
pork—said it was pis’n—that ef the divil ever
got aout of the pesky hogs he’d got in' agin
naow, in the shape of whiskey sweetened with
slrucknine. Then.hetukup the meejums,
an the way he made their feathers fly is a
solum warnin to all wrappers. Said lhar
want a second hand chaw of terfaacker’s
difference atween etn an that ere Simeon
Magog spoken of in; Scripter. Then he
struck aout into abaout the allmighliest pea
roar-rashun ever heern in this subloonary
spear. He actooally seemed to lake the divil
right up by the tail, an shake him likb a .cal.
would a mice. I beant much of a poick an
dont run much to imagenation, but —I swan
to man—l eenjesl thought I could bear the
old critter holler, as the Elder whanged and
cuffed him abaout. Ef l war in his place,
I’d think twice abaout it, afore I’d go smelltn
raound agin within the Elder’s reech.
Dissimulation in youlh is the forerunnerof
perfidy mold age; its appearance is the latal
omen of growing depravity and future shame.
It degrades parts of learning, obscures the
lustre of every accomplishment and sinks us
into contempt. The path of falsehood is a
perplexing maze. After the first departure
from sincerity, it is not in our power to slop;
one artifice unavoidably leads on (d another;
till as the intricacy of the labyrinth increases,
we are left entangled ' in our snare.—Dr.
Blair,
WELLSLOEO, TIOGA 'COUNTY,‘PA., TJILRSMY MOMMG, AUGUST 6, 1857.
Some years since an eccentric' old genius,
whom for convenience we will call Barnes,
was employed by a farmer living in a town
some six or seven miles 'Westerly from the
Penobscot.river, to dig a well. The soil and
substratum being mostly sand, old Barnes, af
ter having “progressed"’ downward about
forty feet, found one morning upon going out
early to his work, that the well had essen
tially “caved in” and was full nearly to the
top. So having the desire, which men have,
of knowing what will be said of them after
they are dead, and no one being, yet astir, he
concealed himself in a" rank growth of bur
docks by the side of a board fence near the
mouth of the well, having first left his hat
and frock upon the windlass over the wall.—
At length breakfast being ready a boy was
dispatched to call him’lo bis meal, when Jo i
it was seen that. Barnes was buried in the
grave unconsciously dug by bis own hands.
The alarm being given, -and the family as
sembled, it was decided first to eat breakfast
and then send for the coroner, the minister,
and his wife and children. Such apathy did
not flatter Barnes’ self-esteem a bit, but he
waited patiently, determined to hear what was
to be seen. .
Presently all parlies arrived end began
"prospecting” the . scene of the catastrophe,
aa people usually db' in such cases. At
length they drew together to exchange opin
ions as to what should be done. The minis
ter at once gave it as bis 1 opinion that they
had better level up the well and let Barnes re
main. 1 For,” said be, "he is now beyond
the temptation of sin ; and in the day of
judgement it will make no difference whether
he is buried five feel under the ground or fif.
ty, for he is hound to come out in either
case.” The coroner likewise agreed that "it
would be a useless expenditure to bis family
or the town to disinter him when he was so
effectually buried,” and therefore entirely co
incided with the minister. His wife Thought
that as "he had left bis hat and frock, it
would be hardly worth while to dig him out
for the rest of his clothes and so it was
settled to let him remain.
But poor old Barnes, who bad no breakfast
and was not at all pleased with the tesult of
the inquest, laid quiet until the shades of eve
ning stole over the landscape; then be quiet
ly decamped to parts unknown.
After remaining incognito for about three
years, one morning he suddenly appeared
(hatless and frockless as he went) at the door
of the farmer for whom be had'agreed to dig
the unfortunate well. To say that an ava
lanche of questions were rained upom him as
to his mysterious re-appearance, &c„. would
wincuuft* oww'O y* —*- J — " *•
o!d man bore it all quietly, and at length told
them that on finding himself buried, he wait
ed for them to dig him out, until his patience
was exhausted, when fie set to work to dig
himself out, and only the day before had suc
ceeded ; for his ideas being confused by the
pressure of the earth, at the time he was bur
ied, he bad dug very much at random, and
instead of coming directly to the surface, he
had come out in the town of Holden, six
miles east of the Penobscot river /
No (briber explanations were sought for by
those who were so distressed and sorrowful
over his, as was supposed, final resting place.
A Hard Case. —Poor pepple have a hard
ti.-ne in this little world of ours. Even in
ipattera of religion there is a vast difference
between Lazarus and Dives, as the following
anecdote, sent os by a friend, will, illustrate:
“014 Billy G- had attended a great revt
val, and in common with many others, he
was converted and baptized. Not many
weeks afterwards, one of the neighbors met
him reeling home from the Court ground with
a considerable brick in his hat. “Hello, uncle
Billy,” said the friend, f‘l thought you had
joined the church?” “So 1 did/’ answered
uncle Billy, makinga desperate effort to stand
B liU_“so 1 did, Jeems, and would have been
a good Baptist if they hadn’t treated me so
everlasting mean at the water. D'dn: t you
bear about if, Jeems?” “I never did. -
“Then I’ll tell you about it. You sqe, when
we come to the baptizing place, thar was me
and old Jenks, the rich old squire, was to be
dipped at the same lime. Well the minister
luck ibe squire in fust, but I didn t mmd that
much, as I thought it would be just as good
when I cum ; so Re led him in, and after dip
pin’ him under he raised him up mney keer
ful, and wiped his face tfhd let him go out.
Then cum my turn, and instead of lifting roe
out like be did the squire, he gave roe one
slosh, and left me crawlin’ about on the bot
tom like a d d mud turtle 1”
A traveler called at nightfall, at a farm
ers house—and the owner being away from
home they refused to lodge the wayfarer.
“How far, then," said he,.“to a house where
a preacher can gel lodgings ?” “Oh ! ifyou
are a preacher/’ said the old lady, “you can
stay here.” Accordingly be dismounted.—
He deposited his saddle,bags in.the house, and
led'his horse lo the stable. Meanwhile the
mother and daughter were debating the point
as to what kind of a preacher he was. “He
cannot be a presbyterian.” said the one, “for
be is not dressed well enough.” “He is not
a Methodist,” said ■ the othey, for hur> coat is
not the right cut for a,Methodist. If 1
could find bis hymn-book” said the daughter,
“I could tell what sort of a preacher he is.
And'with that she thrust her hand into the
saddle-bags, and pulling out a flask o( liquor,
she exclaimed—“La! mother, has a Hard
shelled Baptist.’’ ~,S ■ .
The Christianity of the Bible is very differ
ent from the popular Church Christianity of
the present day. Which is the best ?
i Capital Story,
An Indignant Boy,
A youth about 16 years of, age named.
Richard O’Neil, was arrested and brought
before the Police Court, yesterday, forenoon,
charged with stealing a bottle of wine, val
ued at 50 cents. • The case excited consider
able attention from its magnitude, and some
half a dozen fledgling lawyers volunteered in
his defence, but the lad had probably read the
papers, and knew that a young limb of the
law always managed to get his client in the
State Prison, the House of Correction, or
else heavily fined, so he rejected the offers
with lofty disdain, and expressed his inten
tion in a whisper, to Officer Ingalls, of “going
in and winning.”
O’Neil is as sharp featured as .a child
weaned on vinegar, and. appears about as
bright. He seemed in excellent spirits when
his name was called by the clerk, and in a
loud and distinct tone declared that he was
not guilty of the crime l alleged. Officers
were called to testify in the case, and their
evidence seemed conclusive; but the judge
thought a few questions by Ihe prisoner, not
inappropriate, and accordingly he was allowed
to ask them.
“Will you swear that I took the bottle?”
asked young vinegar of the officer who ar
rested him.
“I found the bottle on you,” was the reply;
"Will you swear that it was the
bottle ?” asked Richard, with a sardonic grin.
The officer stammered, and was evidently
confused. The boy saw his triumph, and
his grin was expanded into a horse laugh,
that was promptly suppressed by the officers
of the Court.
"That’s a pretty witness," sneered Rich
ard ; “I’m accused of stealing a Jtoale of
wine, and yet I’d like to see the first proof of
the charge. Get down, spooney, leave the
police, and gel into the rum business.”
The Court rebuked such shocking levity,
and inquired of the youngster whether he had
Orank any of the wine which it was alleged
he had stolen.
1 1 beg your pardon, sir, but.what did you
ask me 7” inquired the prisoner, earnestly.
‘ I wished to know if you drank any of
the wine !” repeated the Court, blandly.
For a space' of five minutes, the boy looked
at the Judge, apparently too astonished lo
speak. At length bis haughty bearing gave
way—he turned from the bench, and with bis
head bowed upon his breast, burst into tears,
and sob after sob disturbed the stillness of
that gloomy court-room.
"tVbat have I said to wound your feel
ings ?” asked the Judge, in a mild tone.
"I don’t mind being accused of stealing the
wine,” said the boy, digging his knuckles in-,
that I should live lo be suspociCu'ui u,
a drop of d d fifty cent wine is more
than I can bear. Send me to prison,
and I won’t object.”
Instead of a prison, he got fined $5 and
costs, and the last our reporter saw of him,
he was trying to induce Officer Ingalls to hold
his jacket while he went round the corner
and got the money. —Boston Herald.
Fifty Cents on the Dollar, —A gentle,
man in Twelfth street, who is in the habit-of
sending bis boots to be blacked, could not find
his understandings one day last week. He
sent his little son to the darkey's cellar, but
he returned, saying it was shut up. Thegen
llcmnn went himself in his slippers, and after
rapping some lime, he heard a noise inside.
Presently a window 'opened and Cufiy’s head
poked through.
“1 want my bools,” said the gentleman.
“Sorry to form, massa dat you can’t hah
um,” replied Cuff. “Fac 1 is, I is give out,
bursted, failed, broke clean out, jammed up,
split, I is.”
“But, Cuff,” said the gentleman, “I can’t
be'p that-. I must have my bools.”
“Cuff, finding his customer rather riled
up, poked one of the bools out of the window
and said—
“Massa, {'isn’t tcllin’ no lie. I is clean
bust, and no mistake, fse taken an’ ventory
of my ’fees, and as 1 b’lieve, on the honor of
a gentleman, dat I shall be able to pay fifty
cents on a dollar, I is willin’ to gib op yours
now. Dar it am. Take de boot/’
So saying, he slammed the window, leav
ing our friend to go home in his slipper, with
his boot in his hand— his fifty cents on a
dollar.
“My Son,” said an indulgent father to his
only representative of himself, “you should
always think three times before you speak.”
One day, as the father and son were stand
ing at the fire, the father’s coal tail caught
without him noticing it. '
The son thought he would think a little,
and said :
“Father, 1 think.”
“Well, what, my son 1”
“But father, I think.”
“What do you think 1”
“Why, father, I think your coat tail’s on
fire,” cried he, getting out' of the room for
fear of feeling'his father’s cane.
Gratitude adorns the believing soul,—
“Praise is comely for the upright.” A
thankful heart must needs bo a happy heart.
Let us then cultivate gratitude. It is one of
4he ‘fairest and most useful flowers in the
■garden of the soul—it should be the first lo
blossom and the last to fade, in every be
liever’s breast. Its presence is always
pleasant, and its odor sweeter tl|an the richest
perfume. ~
President of a western hank rushes up to
his friend: "Charley,can’t you give me
change for a dollar 1 ■ 1 see the bank super
intendent is in town, and I want some specie
in the vault to make a show.
“Off mil his Heai” *
A breathlessly excited individual, says a
late number of the San Francisco “Ihorning
Coll,-”:rtished into the police office yesterday,
andioqnired for the .chief,
-'“What doyou want of him?” inquiredan
impassive officer.
“I vanis,” said be with a Teutonic accent,
“I, vanis ein baper to kill a lam log vot piles
me in ,le leg.” ‘
“Ah, you wish an order of execulion issued
against a vicious canine,” said the officer.
“No I tussent vanl no such thing. I vanis
a baper to tell me to kill (eitam bup. He
piles my leg so pad. I Kave got le hydro
phobe, and will kill him, dr I’goes mat, too.”
“Ah, now 1 see,” said the jimpassive tem
perament ; “you reqbire authority to proceed
with force of arms against the dangerous ani
mal.” . ' - f
“Mein Golf; no—dat ish not vat [ vants.
1 vants te Jeaf lo give me license lo kill le.
tog. I vants him to make-trie baper so ven
I kills to tog he can mcht go inter de police
and swear against roe.”
“The dog’?” ‘ ;
“Nein, nein—not te log —t'e man votowns
le log. You see if I kills him-; ” ■
. “VVbal, the mao?” I
“Neio—te dog. Uhd te man sue me for
de brice of te tog, den I .vanis ter taw on
mein side, d’yer seo ?” ;
“Oh, yesl” said the officer; who was quiet-.
ly chuckling at- the caution evinced by the
German,-and intent on exhausting his pa
tience, “then you want to get a warrant to
arrest the man who owns thq dog, so the ani
mal may not again attack you,”
“No, no! Hell for tarn! you gits every
thing by the fail," cried lager beer, who be
gan to think the officer was quizzing him. —
**l dink yon yont to make chokes of me.—
Tunder and blhzen ! I vants shustice, not
chokes. X venia t<, cut te tog’s head off*, and
if shustice will not give me a baper, I cuts
bis head offanyhow.” i
And the lover of sourkrout;,started lo leave
the Hall; but meeting the “’Jeaf uv bolice”
at the door, he conversed with him in the
German dialect, making known his wants,
and received an order to execute the vicious
animal.
As he was going out he mjjt the impassive
officer. ’ , |
“All right?” he inquired, j
’ “Yah,.all right, I goes straight off to" te
owner of te log and kills him."
’ “What, the owner?” :
“No, te tog. You make firm fool of your
self by saying tog ven I means man, and ven
I means man you say tog; j NOW you gone
lo ter tuyvel I” and the German incontinently
“Good to Make Men of/’ —A gentleman
once asked a company of little boys, what
they were good (or 1 . One little fellow prompt
ly answered: •
“We are good to make men of.”
Think of that, my youugjfriuads; you are
good to make men and women of. We do
not mean—nor did that little boy—that you
are merely good to grow up to the size of
men and women. No, we mean a good deal
more than this. You are ,\a jpake. persons
that will-be respected andiuseful —that will
help to do good in the world. No one, who
is not useful, and who does .not seek to make
the world better, deserves jnot the name ol
man or woman. ' • j
You should not forget that, if there areilo
be any men arid women—any that deserve
sueft a name—twenty or thirty years hence,
they are to be made of you who are now
children. What a world Ihis will be, when
you grow up, if all only make men and wo
men/ Will you not ponder this subject, and
“Show yourselves men ?” j .
“Good to make men of.” What kind of
men will our youthful readers be twenty years
hence ? Will they be classed with the intel
ligent, the respectable, the industrious, tbo
the benevolehtj the pious men of
the time? for doubtless there will be such.—
U may requite a little self-denial, and hard
study, and hard work ; but such a character
is cheaply purchased at that price—and such
a character we wish all. our readers to bear.
Youth's Companion., [
Looking Guilty. —Nothing can be mors
absurd than the idea thqt “looking guilty”
proves guilt.- An honestj man charged with
crimeis much more likely to blush at the ac
cusation than the real offender, who is gene
rally prepared for the has his face
“ready made” for the occasion. The very
thought of being suspected of anything crimi
nal will bring'the blood |o any honest man’s
cheek in nine cases outi of ten. The most
“guilty looking” person ,we ever sa,w was a
man arrested for stealing a horse —which"
turned out to be his own; property.
Sore Joke. —The following John going the
rounds in the Western: papers is too good to
be lost
The Superintendent pf the .Marietta and
Cincinnati Railroad discharged a conductor
belonging to that road. [The conductor was
asked why he was discharged.
"Weill” said he, “Ij was discharged Tor
giving a free pass.” • ■
“Well, you see,” replied the conductor, “]
got tired riding alone, and gave a friend of
mine a free pass to gel him to go along for
company.' '■ j -
The conventionalities of the world say to
Tom, Dick and Harry,! “You shall not do
as you please—you- shall .only do as we
allow you,” and Tom, Dick and Harry pass
tbo mandate round to all the other*. Why
this is sheet despotism! Well, it la nothing
else. < I
TflE TIOGA COUNTY AGITATOR is pub.
hshed every Thursday Morning', and mailed to sub*
scribers at the very reasonable price of On* Dot
£•** pe> annum, invariably in advance* It is intend*
ed to notify every subscriber wbes the term fur
which he has paid shall hare expired, by the stamp
—“ Time Out,” oa the margin of the last paper.
The paper will then be stopped until a further re
mittance be received. By ibfe arrangement no man
can be brought in debt to the printer.
Tint Agitator is the Official Paper of llie Cooa
ty, with a large and steadily increasing circulation
reaching into nearly every neighborhood in the
County. It is sent free of postage u> any Post offie®
within the county limits, and to those living within
the limits,but whose mosiconvcnient postofficc may
be ia aa adjoining County*
Business Cards, not exceeding 5 lines, paper in*
eluded, per year.
j Mil
<9ta? <£omsajowhrtut.
_. Fbiend Cobb : The great lopic in Kansas
just now is ilia land sales. The people are
assembling en masse from all parts of the
Territory at Oswakee, on Grasshopper Creek,
where the sale of the Delaware Trust Lands
commence To morrow. This is wiihout doubt,
as good land aa can be found in Kansas. A
large portion of it is occupied by “squatters,"
and it is feared there will be some fighting
going on. Many will be obliged to give up
their claims for the reason that they have not
the money to pay for them. Pennsylvania
lands have one advantage over the lands here,
in that, you can cultivate both sides.' it is a
mystery to me why people stay in the east
among the hills, where they just barely make
a living, when they can come here and get
such beautiful land for §1,25 per acre. Qua
acre of this soil is worth any five of Pa. for
raising corn. There are thousands of vacant
'claims yet to be bad; but Ihesooner'a person
comes, the belter. Many come here with the
expectation of findings claim in sight of Law.
rence ; but as they fail to do this, get disconr.
aged and leave (he Territory.
Kansas is destined soon to become a dense,
ly populated Stale, h extends from the great
waters of Ibe Missouri to the Rocky Mount
ains, and ia the great geographical centre of
U. S. possessions ; joining Nebraska on the
North, Missouri and New Mexico on the
South, nothing -will prevent her from becora.
mg a great, wegfibyjiod prosperous Slate.
She has itch soil, beautiful flowing streams,
vast and wide spreading prair&s, and coal
and iron is found in abundance. -
We are having a very dry season here,
and crops are suffering very much. I was
informed a day or two since that corn is now
si* i«t high on the prairies., This is a warm
climate; in the warmest weather I am in
formed that the mercury goes dp to 210.
A gentle breeze is blowing here all the while,
aod ibe heal is not so oppressive as in tho
east. While I am, silting at my window
writing,.! can look across the waters of tha
Missouri, and glance at,the beautiful scenery
in that which has fought so nobly
against the Freedom of Kansas. It does not
seem possible that such n beautiful State co’d
be owned by Border Ruffians. They have
been triumphant a long time, but their work
has- now ceased., .Nearly every boat that
passes up the River, bag more or less U. S
troops on boardfbound for Utah. A train is’
expected to leave Leavenworth to morrow.
ibelSih. i *
July 18th.—A Delegate Convention was
held at Topeka on Wednesday last, (o nomi.
iMe_Stale__officers. Marcus, J.' Parrott sS
gales were present. Lawrence has beerr-»c
ganized inlo a City government, and Gov.
Walker has gone there with four hundred
troops to oppose them. He issued a procla
mation from Leavenworth on . Wednesday
night last, and ere it reached Ihe citizens of
Lawrence the troops were more than half
way there. It is impossible to tell whether
he was drunk, or insane, at the time of writ
ing that proclamation. He accompanied the
troops to the Ci|y of Lawrence at 2 P. M.
yesterday, where they camped on the town
site. Gov. Walker is taking the wrong course.
He is denounced by the pro slavery party.
He is satisfied that it will be a sore job for
him to try to collect taxes, sod be has said
several limes privately, (hat he should make
no attempt. No one can tell what he intends
to do ; nor does he know himself. It would
take about half a dozen such Governors as
him to enforce the Territorial Laws. Con
siderable ' excitement prevailed in Doniphan
a week or two since,- between the Free Stale
and pro-slavery parties. Companies were
organized and Gen. Lane took.charge ol the
Free State boys, and the Border Ruffians
armed themselves for the contest. Fortunate
ly, the trouble was settled.
The Kansas Zdtung, a new German Free
Stale paper, has just been commenced at
Atchison, by Dr. C. F, Kob. It will battle
for the Right, faithfully, and help build up
Kansas a Free State. But 1 have cot time
to give you a longer letter now. 1 will write
again as soon as convenient. Yours,
A humorous old man fell in with an igno
rant and rather impertinent young minister,
who proceeded to inform the gentleman, in
rather positive terms, that be would never
reach heaven unless he was born again, and
added : “I have experienced that change and
now feel no anxiety.” “And have you been
born again ?’’ ashed his companion. “Yes, >
I trust 1 have.” “Well,” said the old gen
tleman, eyeing' him very attentively, “{
shouldn’t think it would hurl you to be born
once mote.” '
A Tunny old gentleman down in Maine,
who was ofto of the trustees of an academy,
lately attended the examination of the schol
ars, and made and address to them. He en
larged upon the inducements to exertion her?
in this country, and encouraged the bays ta
make themselves distinguished.
“Some of you,” says be, “may make a
Washington-,* some of you may make a Jef
ferson ; any of you may make a Pierce.”
“Well,” said Mrs. Partington, the other
day os she was engaged with her knitting
work, “I wonder if 1 shall ever be able to
express myself correctly. It seems to me t
never can use the right word. Every lime I
undertake to say anything,! make some
blunders or other. Whenever 1 open my
mouth 1 am sore to put my it 1” and
she drew a deep s;gh as she spoke, indicating
that her mortificatiio was inexpressible.
Term* of Publication.
Qoindabo, K. T/July 14, 1857.
F.. A. BOOT.