THB CRISIS
had loMfidjo a
Oq dMem bhiTprouisM lonji
And the wUeat proved UUe to the trust,—
We had looked for the wisdom of agee , ,
. '■
That FroeSim indllSwr mn'nutei
Xbft Um ttamfw •
-•. ■
'•*- Wfr hitf bnlii fm, a trad*k promW« l
VPrVfboiheld when TWe*6ne nigh t ‘tthfid; -
Hat the Slmjfrattyrttefcd U from.w—
Oar trot bad been wri|t€px,*in sand
*betf We*teilB that the oT the nations
Should l>6 ehiTcred Hire glaM in the froit.
That our Uvea were eelf-offtoed oVatlons—
That wo noTcr would reckon the cost 1
But the land which tholtoltiinß gnro m
Shoo Id erer bofrpe from that hour; , *
That we BcoHlod'SU afterapM to onni.ive us,
’ Jtor bow’d us to placemen or power. I• Oi W.~Be',
IK-fl<6oro‘ J January 30| 1866. ~ i
eowntmitumm, \-
The Scarcity of Literary fflftn,
' Alas ' how few comparatively; obtain.' a
thorough mental discipline. As we look out
over the country, we see'here atjd there an'
individual fully convinced’of the ignorance
of man. and he starts oui with the firm de
termination of sparing na labor lhat will en
able him io disnel the clonds which fetter bis
intellectual vision, but the'grea( mass-mf men,
iVcontented to live in thbdark. The causes,
which‘lend to this sad result, are apparent
eveft to me casual Observer ; and we are in
duced to wonder that the number bf profound
scholars in our lahd should be as great as it is.
The mind of the young is first called into
action bv external objects, and how few of
these point toward the path of Literature.
True, the child who is blessed with educated
parents, may by (heir cpre and diligence and
perseverence be inspired (vith a love of know
ledge, and let? on and upward step by step in
the narh of wisdom, buf where is the charm
to fascinate the soul of him who is guided by
his own judgement. Such a ynulh finds him
self in the world surrounded'by those whose
chief pleasure consists in physical enjoyment,
am! wnhou; even dreaming that there is a
higher, nobler course,-crowded with intellect
ual pleasures filled withspir
llOaft enjoyments, he eagerly unites with the
popular throng, and learns too late that there
is nOireal pleasure in dress, or in mone\.
The animal routine of ihe farmer, of plow,
in”, sowing, reaping and mowing—the con
stant business pressure of the merchant,-of
measuring, and transporting goods—the la.
hors o' me manulaclurer, who turns lha raw
material into articles ol usefulness, are all
comprehended to a certain extent by the
voutn, and his mnale desire urges
him to emer upon some of these employments
as a business of im
On Ihe other hand what is there to induce
the hoy, who has no advisers, no counselors,
no kind friends to guide his footsteps, to pur.
sue a lilerarv course. Be may hear of greit
noets. orators and statesmen; but the road
they loot; to reach their high position will be
a mystery His concepuve notions of bards
and noets will hear no resemblance to the in
dividuals wno tire atouno him. He hears
persons talk o r Roman and Grecian orators,
but does no: even dream tbit tnev were men
filled with vain ambitious noltons. He sees
in ms imagination a low mysterious beings,
lit un on Die staircase of lame, bul ha fails
10 discover me steps upon which they ascen
der, he reveres iheir power and ability, bm
con see no method Dv which he may advance
toward men. Should some kind friend whis
per and leli mm, that it could only be accom
plished onii by years o( arduous sludy, how
sooi, be would enter upon ihe course ; but as
it is no turns and pursues some business which
presems greater encouragements Thus Lit
eraiure is robbed of those who would other
wise become us volarier
history, however, presents a few examples
wincn ao not approve of our theory. There
nave ueen some, who without counsel and
even in opposition to the advice of friends,
have discovered the trolden course and spent
their uves in travelling ip, r„ and thev have
lelt to their countries honorable deeds and
honorable names Tneir discoveries might
have been brought about bv force of circom
stances rather man superior skill, but the
discoveries were mad'
Uircurnslances in our youth db much to
ou- characters anc determine our
spheres of acltbn, A. bpy may by chance
base un tne biography of some distinguished
tndmoua.. lie reads it without having any
particular object ip view, and soon learns, to
his astonishment, that all great men were
once oois, as full of sport and folly as those
wiitt wnom he constantly associates. He has
a vajrue sense of the course they pursued,
his desire of improving his own being is
aroused to an intensity that can be salisfied
omv ny gratifying the desire itself—he com
mences study, artd having once pul his hand
to tne plow, no obstacle can induce him to
turn baci... Ano'lier reason why men dotiot
enter upon a literary life is, that they discov
er none of us pleasures.
moult
invisible. It/is not addressed
to our phvsical senses, but to our undersland
ln£- n can not be estimated unless it be ex.
pressec The wisest philosophers dressed in
simple apparrel, have often been mistaken for
Watters and hostlers, and the sinnptest ninnies
lor men 01 wisdom.
Tho Scythians wore very much astonished,
when itiey perceived that the gnal conque
ror of me woiid, whose fame extended thro’-
om hurope and a», a> was „ | |(l i e man w ith
a twisted necK ; but me W el| trn i ne( j student
of Aristotle had no less influence in the world
on account of his tosigmiicam term.
But the mind 6(* k wise men 13 no barren
desert, His intellectual landscape i s fiu e( j
with valuable treasures. His harvest fields
•re always rich with golden thought. Each
day he may increase his vast dominion and
woder his fields more productive by constant
cultivation, Ui B stores, of knowledge are
well filled with some of the choicest products
ol sarin, and of all these he can
Medina enjoy as he sits, quietly in his study.
Tnose who think that the scliolar receives
nothing m return for his study—-nothing for
hi* midnight investigations, have been de
ceived. He possesses vast stores of wealth
* n 'h® form of intellectual enjoyments—con
stant pleasures in the form of jtssociated
thoughts, ant) hours of happiness,■'« he.rides
Ituengmation from one country to afttxhcr
>• u.o a ‘ J >
«• Wsi l> U V'i/W
|‘ I. \J* ) V
[:ni
.%I-. 1'..., 1 —■ 11 ■
; QQBBi STURROGK & CO.,
iVOlvi
mfngWwitlb the wise, of l all ag^, : 'drittkrirt
iHelr 1 -virtues and is inspired by Their examples
—then as it were, leaps off into'the fatute;
peoples jt - with anWhefrace fat* mofeelevat’erf
■t)mn oursefveS l 'and : to be made So by the
'causes which - are ripW at' Work. 1 He, has no
lonesome hours, - for his mind is filled with
pleasing images—he has no - haughty 'pride,
(hr he comprehends to some extent the vast'
machinery of heaven, and the insignificance
of huitian plans— he has no envy, for he’dis-'
covers at a glance, that the world is’'wide
enough for all to act. In a word his life is
one of activity and happiness. 'This view of
a literary man does not include the vain and
fftnbitious, who seek to accomplish no object
except to elevate'themselves, nor the’/atijing
demagogue who labors to deceive and lead
astray the populace, for all such have perver
ted their natures, but to the humble seeker
after truth, who labors and inVesiigaies that
he may become acquainted with the laws of
nature and apply them to human actions.
He may have a' laudable ambition and seek
the praise of his fellow men, but he will do it
by trying to render himself worthy of their
praise. He may even long for the glory that
clings to the names of the wisest and best
men who have lived, but he will wish to ob
tain it only by trying to elevate man, and .by
performing such deeds as are worthy of edm
memoration.
For thl Agitator'.
Could these things be understood in youth
as they are in manhood, Ihe number of lite
rary men would be much greater than inis.
But by many the lesson is learned too late to
be of any advantage; and thus literature, the
great moralizer of ihe world, can claim bul
few who have drank deeply from the cup of
science. COLLEGE.
That devoted and adventurous traveler and
public benefactor, the late John L. Stevens,
was one of the projectors of the Panama
railroad, which may be considered the pion
eer in the great ioter-ocennic commercial en
terprise, to be perfected by the construction
of the proposed ship canal. The road was
begun in December, 1850, at Chagres, bul t
its eastern terminus was afterwards fixed at
Aspmwall, eight or nine miles northeast of
Chagres, which, bgs superior advantages,,with
respect to the approach from the sea and oth
er circumstances, h was finally completed
to Panama on the Pacific, a distance of forty
nine miles, from ocean to ocean, January 27
1855, at a cost of a, little over §6,000,000,
according-to Col. Totten, the chief engineer.
Before the completion of this road, passen
gers crossed the Isthmus on mules, occupv
tng several days iu the toilsome and danger
ous journey. They now cross it by railroad
in four hours. ■ On account of the defective
condition of the Pacific terminus of the road
and the want of suitable wharves for the di
rect shipment of goods, it is not yet suited
to the carnage of heavy freight. The road
is owned by a-New York company. Its fu
ture ownership will depend upon the willing
ness of the Government of New Granada,
to which lha country traversed by it belongs,
to continue the privilege temporarily granted
by the present contract, which stipulates that
Now Granada dan redeem the privilege after
twenty years from Ihe dale of Ihe completion
of the road, on payment of §5,000.000. If
it should not then avail itself of this stipula
tion it can redeem it for 84,000,000 after Ihe
lapse of ten years; and if not then, for 82,-
000,000 af.er the lapse of ten years more;
giving, in each case, one year’s notice of its
intention to redeem. There are five propos
ed routes foflbe ship canal ; the first, from
Port San Juan, ofr-lhe Carribbean Sen, up
the San Juan river, across Lake Nicaragua,
and thence to the Pacific by different routes;
the second, across the Isthmus from Chagres
or Puerto Bello to Pannama; the third, from
the mouth of the river Coatzocoalco toTehn
anlepec; the fourth, from the river Choco,
along the Atrato and the Naipi one of its
branches, and then by canal to Cupica bay
on the Pacific; and the fifth, across the isth
mus of Darien. An attempt to explore an
other route by way of Chucanique bay, by
a corps under the direction of the United
Slates, in 1854, /atlSd utterly with the loss of
several lives and after the most appalling
hardships. It is generally supposed that the.
route'by way of Lake Nicaragua ik Ihe only
practicable one. The cost of the canal is
variously estimated at from six to thirty! mil
lions of dollars. If, however, as some have
supposed, it should exceed many (imes that
amount, the outlay would be justified by Ihe
irftmense advantages accruing from it to Ihe
commerce of the world. A grant was made
by Nicaragua,- in 1846, to Cornelius-Vander
bilt' and others, of -New York 1 , -Tor the" Icon
struetion of a canal through that State, bnt
the work has not yet been undertaken, tho’
the route has been surveyed. It was for the
joint protection of the contemplated canal by
this route, that Great Britain and the United
State? ‘concluded in 1850, the Clayton.Bul
wer treaty, understood by Mr. Clayton as
putting an end to the dominion of Great
Britain over tWMosquitoshore. ' •
- This construction is, howe'er, denied by
the British Government, and practically neg
atived ,by the continued possessing of the
port of 6ati Juan, the proposed Atlantic ter
minus of ibe canal, which was seized by the
agents of that Government in 1648, under
the.pretest of supporting the jetrilqrial rights
,of Ihe’Mosquito Kipg. 'The coiilioyecj opcu
pation of this port by the British, in-violation
of the! American construction of the' 1 treaty
abovememioned, would give them tbe'i iSlire
oomroKof theyproposed conul, it built.
Whether Of not lljis, occupation sho.ll bp
t.‘fW.,i,3 fr.YWd question to be barqafipr
decided by Bngliabaad American statesmen.
. ----- .gO TATI DA YX yj UG!> ' fine J T ■%.
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Across the Isthmus.
<> i.m-if. • / nttfl
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73 {•');! 14*
't .’iy; /{• itt 1
t | The Yankees have, become- hiloridus 1 for
iheir' question-asking propensity, li; yet sbh?e
lirrtes Jdhn'Bu'n Okhlßlfa so' VeihaVTiilljlO'lf'ije
vqlopmen't dftfiia traitj'we mtisPconcfucfe that'
'Jonathan "and John'are'at leasl'chlisrh's;' ij A'
gdod onecdoteis related 1 of Gilbert Stuarli'a
celebrated American pqrirait pairitef,'whited"
replies puizled'the in'gutsliivehesp of His Ertg-i
listi traveling companion, itvtheir attempts'lb'
find out bis calling.
On one occasion, Stuart was traveling
stage-coach, in England,'with' sorrte gentle
men who were strangers to him, but all of
whom were Etociable and .full of animation.
His brilliant conversational powers attracted
much attention, and ‘ his fcompanions' became
desirous'id'kp6W who' and' what-he was.
They asked many roundabout queitipns, to
find out his calling or profession. Mr. Stuart
answered, with a grave face and serious tone,
that he sometimes' dressed gentlemen’s and
ladies’ hair.'
“You are a bair-dresse'r, then” remarked
ohe of his companions, inquiringly.
“What !” said he; “do you take me for a
barber?”
“I beg your pardoh, sir, but I inferred it
from what you said. If I mistook you, may
I take the liberty jo ask what you are, then
“Why, I sometimes brush'a gentleman’s
coal or bat, and sometimes adjust a cravql.”
“0, you are a valet, then (6 some -noble
man.”
“A valet? liadeed, sir, I am not. I am
hoi a Servant to be 'sure,' I make dbkts and
waistcoats for gentlemen.”
: “O, you are a tailor?” ' ' 1
“Tailor! Do I look like a tailor? -I as
sure you I never haHdled a goose, other than
a roasted one.”
By this lime the passengers were all in a
roar; and one of them exclaimed, “What
are you, then?”
“I tell you,” said Stuart. “Be asstired all
I have said is literally true. I dress hair,
brush hats and coats, adjust a cravat, and
make coats, waistcoats and breeches, and
likewise bools and shoes, at your service.”
“Oho ! a boot and shoemaker,’ after all.”
? Guess again, gentlemen, 1 never handled
boot dr shoe but for my own Feet and legs ;
yet all I have told you is vAte.” - ‘
“We may as well give up guessing then,”
remarked one of the party.
After checking his'laughter, he'said to
them, very gravely, “Now, gentlemen-, I will
not play the fool with you, but will tell.you,
upon my honor, as a gentleman, bona fide
my profession, I get my bread by making
faces. He then screwed his countenance,
and twisted the lineaments of his visage in a
manner such ns Foote or Matthews might
have envied. When his companions,- nfler
loud peals of laughter, had composed them
selves, each took credit to himself for having,
all the while, suspected- that the gentleman
belonged to the theatre; and now they nil
know that he must be‘a comedian by profes
sion. But to their utter surprise, he assured
them that he was never on the stage, and
very rarely saw the inside of any theatre,—
His companions now all looked at. him and
at each other with astonishment.
Before parting, Stuart said to his compan
ions, "Gentlemen, you will find that all that
1 have said of my various employments, is
comprised imthese few words: lam a por
trait painter. If you Will call at John Pal
mer’s, York Buildings, London, I shall be
ready and willing In brush your ooal nr hat,
dress your hair a la mode, supply you, if in
need, with a wig, of any fashion or dimen
sions, accommodate you with boots or .shoes,
give you ruffles or cravats, and make faces
for you.’’
On parting with him at tho inn, they begged
leave to inquire in what part of England,
he was born. He answered them, “I was
not born in England, Wales, Ireland, or
Scotland. Here was another puzzle for them ;
“where then I” was their eager inquiry.
“I wag born at Naraganset,” was his reply.
“Where’s that?”
“Six miles from Pollawoone, and ten miles
from Poppasquash, and about four miles west
of Connecticut, and not far from the spot
where the famous battle with ihe.Pequots
was fought.”
“In what part of the. Bast Indies is ■ that,
sir ■?"• was the response ,
• “Bast. Indies, my dear sir! it is in the Stale
of Rhode Island, between MassachuseUs and
the Connecticut River.” ,
Vi’b once saw n ypung man , gazing at the
*ry heavens, with a f in 1 a
of pistols in the other. We Ndeayored to
alteqct his alteplion by .ing to a H in a paper
we hold in our relating 8 a young man
in that § of country who had left homo in a
stale pf MN lal Derangement. He dropped
the f and pistols from his with the !:
.“It is lof whom U read, 1 left home b 4
my friends (rnbw of, my Dsign. I had.sO
the OCT of a girl .who refused 2 lis 10 2 me,
but smiled b9ly on another. I I —ed
madly from ihe house uttering a wild ' to the
god of love, and without reply in to (he 111! of
ray friends, came here uilh f
of pistols to pul .a ,to my Xistence. My
case bps no || in this § ”
When a stranger' treats me with want of
respect, kaid a philosopher, I comfort myself
with the reflection that it Is not myself he
slights, but niy old shabby 1 coat and hot,
which to say the truth have no particular
admifEjilon.' Soj if Vny hat and
ctiat Choose' to fret' about it—Jet ihem, its
nothing to me.
-A young American lady being askedby a
boring politician which parly she was’most
m favor of, replied that she preferred a wed.
ding pnny.' ■ •
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■- ■" ■ A-SlagulajnDiscovery-
if or
Repi)l)l(Ofn, lhB f following.,very
8 H-lf r PC f u rrepqe 93. bp if i pg. acl oa I ly. ,1 •
plrs4.Wfii|&a I ,w.plC. pffl.irie,;,
jAftw-dtiys eincßj yylple,,riding, in the rear .
of in a stnali rayine, through which
n streamlet takes its..way heneatb, its crystal
coveting,,anri whuseirrigalion has produced
lull grass, and shruba>ihai,,make a hiding,
place far. ,game, I t cams suddenly upon. a
large black wolf. He.,was. scratching at a
thin place in the ice, ond seemed almost fam
ished for. water. Seeing .me he started in
full run for the forest in the river bottom.
I kept upon.bis-heelr.nod tried to ride upon
him. Be was. almost-’exhausted, and just
ae I supposed he would give our, he slipped,
into the hollow of u large oollon-wood free.
1 stopped the hole through which he enter
ed and cams back to town and got an axe,
and the ,dors, atTd’l'he, assistance of Frank
Mahan andj William Palmer, a,pd together,
we.returned to cut him out. The dogs were
anxious anditve wereprepared with our-guns
to receive him.'
When We had made a large hole, abtful
four (bet from tfie (He ’doos’ jumped
at |t oaflih outside and the’ wolf bn'the'ih-'
tfide, and such barki’rig, growing and snap
ping and h’oivling'l never heard before, ’ft’
made tVie woods resound tor a‘ great distance
and hrqughf several, neighbors to the spot.
Things continued so for’a'while and we con
sumed wljpt was bust .to be done. We could
not shoot the wolf through this opening with
out toogyqai ri?k of killing the dogs, for he
only appeared at the i(jsti)e. We finally con
cludetl to stop the holaSve bad made, and full
the tree by cutting a narrow gash around it.
The. tree .canto down .a little sooner than
wo expected. Frank Mahan had the ax lift-”
ed fur anotjier stroke us it went over with a,
crash. The.wolf,, wijh a. bristly back and
glaring eyes and glittering teeth, leaped- at
bis throat with’ a terrible ferocity. The de
scending ax met it half way, cleaving its
skull and laying it dead at his feet.
We had no time to express our wondef and
congratulations at hi?? singular and narrow
escape, when our attention was called to that
filled us with amazement, if not dread,
ft wos a human skeleton, of medium’ siz?
and of a female;‘hidden’ih the cavity of the
tree, fls posture was ereci,.artd the’bones
were held Jogether by a kind of integument
that seemed to cover, like a transparent Skin
the entire frame. The jar of the felled tree
severed several joints, and wo drew them all
out and placed them again in form. The
proportions were perfect and the limbs strait
—indicating a contour, when in flesh,of per
fect symmetry. Who- could it have been,
that thus perished years ago, in tin’s wild for
est ? and how came her death in this strnoee
place? were queries that were immediately
suggested. Could it have been some maiden
—who, like the bride iii the “Mistletoe
Bough,” had concealed herself from Iter Inv
er in the heart of ihis'old tree and become
fastened (hero and died? Or, iq fleeing an
enemy, had sought this refuge ? Or, in ea
caping wild beasts, had climbed up in this
dose retreat, whence could hot extricate
herself? Thpse were l,he nalural sugge.stions
fpr the slieletpn filled closely in the cavity
and. seemed, to have been fastened there.
, - Hiiw.ißiiny yqars ago,this.frame.,possessed
many years it,had inhabit
ed this time-worn, slo/m-<veecked tenement,
and bow k came there, and to what race it
belonged, will remain n mystery until, the fi
nal revelation. ,
A Remarkable Executioner. —We have
observed several wonderful stories of late re
specting the skill of the Chinese executioners,
who, it is said, can strike off the heads of
their yiqims so skillfully that the poorfef
lows themselves themselves never discover
their loss until a moment or two after they
are dead.” We recall to mind however, the
story of a Ge.man executioner, who fur sur
-paised the Chinese in professional dexterity.
Upon one occasion, it’happened that a crimi
nal who was condemned to death had a sin
gular itching to play 'at ninepins; and he (im
plored permission to play once more at his
favorite game before he died. Then, he said,
ho would sqbmit (6 without a murmur.
The judge'fliiriiting'there codld be no barm
ip .humoring hitji,. granted his prayer;
and upon arriyipg at the place of exception
he found everything prepared for,the game.—
the [(ins being all set up and'the bowls being
all ready.. He commenced his fiVvoqile sport
will] enthusiasm.—After a while, (he sheriff
observing that he showed no inclination to
desist, made a sign to the executioner to strike
the fatal blow while he stooped for a bowl.
The executioner did so, but with such dexter
ity that the culprit did riot notice or'febl it.
He thought indeed that a cold breath of air
was blowing upon his neck, mid drawing hint)-
selfback wilh'a shrug, his heqd dropped for
ivdrd into His hands. Hd naturally supposed
that it was a bowl which he grasped, and
zing it firmly rolled it at the pins. All of
them fell; hnd the head was heard to exclaim
as it rebounded from the farther wall: “Hur
rah! I’ve won the game I—Portfolio.
Julius was you ever in business 1 ,
~“ln course 1 was.
“VVha.t business V
“ A sugar planter!
“When was that?’
“Opr day I berried dal old sweetheart db
mine! ”, ■
Hoors.—The editor'Of ’ihe Buffalo Repub
lic Went to walk within'fashionably dressed
Indy the other day, and could not gel* within
nine feet of • her pbrsoh on- account of the
ciroumrounduboutivcpess of- her:.extensive
lioopt/y. ; , •- •• ■ nr-:* .. • -j ■
!C
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JiifV’iiiri
.ri )iln f jlsn o» v’hn" 'm‘ * •>.’ l>-iV*' t a-
The Perils of Teaching Grammar to
Mt/fidildr t’{ have* teen sending my
dartar Nancy 10-a schoolmasjcr-in. tt|is qa
bftrhopd., Last, Friday .1. went over,-to;ihe
school jusifb see how Nancy and Bob w a spel
ling along; ar/d‘l- sees-things I didfi’c
by no meanS-rriTbd schootmaslcr was larn
in’ her things, .intifely put of lino of Vddyca
lion, and, osl think, improper. I stinydd
awhile in-tho'Sdhoolhouse, and heerdone
class say iheir lesson - . They tfas a spelling,
and I iho’i spelled quite exceedingly/ Then
cum Nancy’s turn to say her lesson. She
said it very spry. I was shockl 1 and de
termined shn-should leave (he school. 1
have heard,, that grtfttnrtibt wiiS, oncommon
fine study b>K L don’t,' want any njorp gratp
mer about my bouse. —Tbe-lessen that Nan
cy saidwas, nothing but the foolishest kind
uv talk, tho ridicios luv talk you ever seed.
She got up, and the first word she sed was,
“I love,?’’ 't,looked rite at' her hard for
dnin* so improper but she went rite oh and
said—‘‘Thou lovest, he loves !’’ and I reck
on you never heard such a rigermyole in
ymlr life'—fove,' love, love, and nothing but
love. She said one lime—“l did love."
Sez.l ’"who did you luve?”
-Then,; the. scholars la fled, but I wasn’t to
be pul off and 1 sed, “who did you lovb,
Nancy;—d want to know, who did you love,
Nancy ?” The schoolmasfer, Mr. McQutl
islor, put in and he said he would explain
when Nancy finished her lesson. This sor
ter pnoyfied me, nnd Nancy got on with aw
ful luv ‘talk. It got’ wus and wus every
word. She said “I might could or would
love.”
I slopped her again, and sed I reckon I
would see ahoqt that, |and told her to walk
pul of that house. The schoolmaster triad
to intefere but 1 wouldn’t let him say a word.
He sed I, was a fool and- 1 knocked him
down, and made him hollar in short order,—
I laukl the strate thing to him. I told him
I’d show him how heed larn my darter
grarner.
I got the nabvrs together, and we sent Mr.
McQuillisler off in a burry, and I reckon
lharl be no more gramfer leaching in these
parts soon; if jou know of any rather old.
ish man in your regen that doanl tench
grammar, we would be glad if you would
send him up. But in the foorlure we will be
Iteerful how we employ men. Young school
masters won’t do, especially if they leaches
grarner. It is.a "bad "iiiing for morals. —
Yours till deih, Thomas Je’ffci-sdn Sole. Mis
souri Democrat.
Tom Hood’s Advice to such Writers
as would see Themselves in
is-more.difficult than may be supposed to de
cide on jhe value of a work in MS , and es
pecinlly when the hand-writing presents only
a swell mob of bad characters, ihtl must bo
severally examined and re-examined to ar
rive at the merits and dements of the ensn.
Print settles it, as Coleridge used to bay, and
to be candid, 1 have more than once reversed
or greatly modified a previous verdict, on
seeing a rough proof from the press. But,
as loo well know, ii is next to impos
sible to retain the lone of a stanza, or the
drib of on argument, while the mind has to
Scrabble through a patch of scribble scrabble,
ns stiff ns n gorse cover. The beauties of
the piece will as naturally appear tn disad
vantage through such a medium ns the fea
tures df pretty woman through a bad pane
of glass ; nnd, J withotit doubt, many a toler
able article has been consigned band over
hand to the Balaam .Box for want of a fair
copyr, Wherefore, O ye. Poets and Prosers,
who aspire to write Miscellanies, and above
all, 0 ye palpitating Untried, take care, pray
ye take care, to cultivate a good, plain, bold,
round text. Set tip Tomkins as well ns
Pope and Drydcn for a model, and have an
eye to your pothooks. Some persons hold
that the best writers are those who write the
best hands, and I have known the conductor
of a magazine to be converted by a crabbed
MS. to the same opinion. Of all things,
therefore, be legible; and to that end, prac
tice Jn penmanship. If you have never
learned, take six lessons of Mr. Carslairs.—
Be sure to buy the best paper, the best pens,
and then sit down and do the best you can ;
ns the school-boys Jo; put out your iongue,
gnd take pains. Sit shall ye happily escape
the rash rejection of a jpded editor ; so, hav
ing got in -your hand, .it is possible that your
head may follow ; and so lust, not least, ye
may fortunately avert (hose awful mistakes
of the printer, which sometimes ruin a poet’s
sublimes!,effusion by panlominically trans
forming his roses into noses, his angels into
angles, and all his happiness into pappiness.
— Hood's-. Own.
The Loan’s Stock.—An eccentric indi
vidual of our acquaintance, a Beecher —but
not of the Diviriity fimily--was once asked
to subscribe .to the funds of the church—or,
in the language of the Reverend solicitor,
“aid in replenishing the exhausted Treasury
of the Lord.” Beecher seemed disinclined
to furnish the solicited aid, and raised nume
rous and pertinent objections, which were all
.answered. when, in his sharp, querulous tone,
said he—“We read in ihe Bible, do we not,
that the cattle on a thousand hills are the
Lords?’’ “Yes;” was the prompt reply of
the Dominie.' Well,” queried ihe old infidel,
“why, 1 'ihe d- 1 -! don’t he sell off' his slock
then'!”'' The’solicitor retired, like a sheep
before ihe’shettrer.
•’'Be who-is,-passionate and.hasly is gener
ally .honest. It-is your- cool, dissembling
hypocrite of whom you shall
•.iThpr.e's.jPO,,deception, in p bull dog,’ Jt is
lonly.tbe.w.r.lbat.snnpks up. and yilqs'ypu
c iwhpn ynur bank is. turned,,., , (
a- :ui'i
> -H .1
w.iv.
n j r ~‘.
Hare you got any nails.
willed ihp '
d^'AiOs^4jri'Bi^aiVr^ i 6W I
regard! tig , the> dtltylalSJns;
Sliest -paHernSj ,l*e
•'tpdp.ijntp ihe ptuiniipg ; rpom,v; where ;then i
nesflf of „ ; ihe esja bljs]mien| jwere, siftingjn,-
sqlemn/ppnycysatiofl.,, acursory „
felßßce.pr *he topm f ,nnd J 4ir»ej , lqg. ; «ueoiiye-.
!>' - I he /apes of Us. pcpUppriia,, Up asbpd with.
an unctuous Yapkeenasal twangu .
yeou—got any nails'!” , , ;"■■
. ‘VNaib,. sir, nqijfl”., repeated the. most
dignified Donihey of,l he,, firm. - “No,wJiut
pljqujd we-dcvwilJijijpilsi” ._ .
■ “-.VVaI, I.dpnnp.-T thought tpay bo you
m Mghk .Hajm.ypu.,goi no.pails, eh 1” Rr .,
, - -‘.Np.tiir,” .rqilied.Ddmbey again,Avith an
ernphpsis, mpponingdp ihp.door. ■
The iodividpaj in searcb ; of nails, look His,
lime about it, and (hen Ipft tbp counting to. rn.
In tixrnj.he asked every qlerk the spmeques*
lior. and received the informal isfljj/rom, all,
that “nails” formed no pan of <heir establish*
meat, 7 ’
“ VVdl,”.snid he, going towards the doar,
“dpplt keep nails here,, no how J" , ,
The principal salesman, whose dignity was
hurt by the idea that any one should suppose.
that an establishment where he had a promi.
nepl place, should keep nails, headed the
countryman off as he was proceeding towards
ihp,entrance, and asked him abruptly what
he wanted.
*' Want,” said t|ifj countryman, as coo Las
a cucumber, “I waul lo know if you’ve got
any nails ]"
“Nails, no sir. You have been told again
and again, tha) we’ve got no nails—so you’d
bellrgo.”
,f Ain’t got apy nails, eh 1 VVal, ihen,
jest, look q here, mister, if you hain’t got no
nails, what an awful /)* you’d be in if you’d
happen to have ihe itch !” ,
"I DU'as the Rest Did."
This tame yielding spirit—lhis doing “as.
the rest did” has ruined .thousands.
A young mqn is invited by vicious cotfw
panions lo visit the tavern or gambling room,
or other haunts of licentiousness.
He dissipated, spends his time, loses his
credit, squanders his property, and at last
sinks into an untimely grave. U’hat ruined
him ? Simply “doing what the rest did.”
A father has a family of sons. He is
wealthy. Othdr children in Ihe same sa
nation of life, do so and so, are indulged in
this and that. ■He indulges his own in the
same way. They grow up idlers, tnfiers,
and Taps. The falher wontlers why his chil
dren do not succeed belter. He has spent so
much money on their education, has given
them great advantages ; but alas ! they are
only a source of vexation and trouble.—
Poor man, he is just paying Ihe penalty of
“doing as the rest did,”
This poor mother strives hard lo bring
up her daughter genieely. . They learn
what others do, lo paint, to sing, to play,
and dance, and several other useful mat
ters. In litrfe they marry ; their husbands
unable to support their extravagance and
they are soon reduced lo Poverty and
wretchedness. “ The good woman is as
tonished. 11 Truly, ” sa)s she, 1 did as the
nest did.”
An Honest Man. Many years ago
ihero lived on llio hank of the Penobscot,
just al its continence with (fie ciar(c ivalers or
Kcnduskeag-, an eccentric old'man named
Bodge. Misfortune and Rum had reduced
him from a position of considerable wealth.
The people there, especially those who. had
known him in his heller days, had a sympa
thy for thts uecaied old citizen, and were
not disposed to cnlicse his somewhat eccen
tric conduct with much particularity. More
over, whatever failings he bad. Old Bodge
W'hs a man of troth. There was a theory
that he would sometimes steal, but lie scorn
ed to he. This was a distinction upon which
he stood with something like pride.
One summer afternoon there came uft up
on ilie lazy tide, \he old schooner which was
then the chief communication with the me
tropolis, and among the crowd of men and
hovs waiting her arrival on the shore', was
our friend. A worthy deacon of the village
church took him aside and informed him with
his business-like frankness, that he had a
largo variety of merchandize on board, pnr
lii-nlindy a lot of fine salt fish p and ho pro
posed to give Bodge five of the latter, with
the understanding that lie was not to take any
ihing else.
Bodge hesitated. "It was a hard case ;
bin if the deacon would allow nim to select
nine of the best lish on board, he would pass
his word," and so the compromise was
made.
It was n larger cargo than Bodge expected.
The shades of evening began to fall before
it was half ended, and opportunity seemed to
serve better than he had supposed. He re
pented his bargaih Infl never thought for
feijing his -word. Ho left a course like this
to his hellers ; but he deliberately brought
back the ftsh'he had received, laid them on
the wharf and said—
■‘Deacon, I’ve brought baclt those fish.—
The fact is, 1 think I can do better!”
Common-place Wximen. —Heaven knows
bow may simple letters from simple minded
women have been kissed, cherished and wept
over by men of far more loftier Intellect. So
it will always be to the end of lime. It is a
lesson worth learning by those young crea
tors, who seek to allure bv 'heir accomplish
ments, or dazzle by their genius, that though
he may admire, no man ever loves a woman
for these things. Ho lijves her for what Is
essentially distinct from, though not incom
patible with them —her woman’s heart. This
is why wo so often see a man' tif high gen
ius or intellectual power, pass by the De
Staels and Corinnes,t6 lake into his bosom
some wayside flowdr, who has nothing’in the
world to make Her worlhv of him, except
that she'is—-.what Bo few of your celebrities
are—a true yrdmati;
ipnrson had a singular peculi
arity of,expression, always using the phrase
: ‘l flatter ipysejf." instead of “I ‘believe - ;”
H.aving; occasion lo exhort his congregation
/during.a revival, he flattered bin)self,” tfi-1
more llian'orie fiall’pf thITT) wuqld be.tfirpned.
'■ V iK t *♦