tebhs op publication.
Tut Agitator it publithed every Warn
ing, aid /umit/wd to eubtcriber. at
if piid in advance} or *2 if payment be defy,
ed over Vie year. No tubteripMn »Aor
ter peViod than eir monthe, and when for that term
ICu must be mad, truth, «n fldoonce,
or V ilmU be. charged. The foregoing term, util
b, trietiy adhered to/No paper
ed until.paid for, unlee.Jt
Curas—Tin Copier, $l2; Fifteen Copie,, $l5.
“ «fl be ,ertei 01:91 Fe'l7uarf
,/fourteen line, or 1e..,) for the fr.t of three con
\eeuiiveimertion., and 25 cent, for every tube.-
' one. Yearly adeerlieemente inserted ai a tea
ionable iieeount on the foregoing rate,.
ST Transient adverliting payable in advance.
cr AH letter, mall bepat-paid.
CLE AVER house,
ffjale Orate,' Hotel)
WELLSBOROUOIf, TIOGA COVKTY, PBNNA,
Jane 8.1854. P. P. CLEAVER, Proprietor.
s S. F. WILSON,
O’ Removed lo James Lowioy’s Office.
' JAS. LOWUEY & S. F. WILSON,
A TTORNEYS & COUNSELLORS AT
-CX LAW, will attend the Courla of Tioga, Potter
and McKean counties.
Wcllsborough, Feb. 1, 1853. _
JOHN N. BACHE,
A TTQRNIEY AND COUNSELLOR AT
x*. LAW.—Office, north side Public Square,
WeHsborough, Pi.
Refers to Messrs. Phelps, Dodge & Co., N. Y.
city; Hon.A- V.Parsong,Philadelphia.' July l
EDWARD MAirSABD,
A TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT
A LAW.—AII business entrusted to his cere
will eccivo prompt attention. Office the same ns
occupied by R. G. White, Esq. Juiy 13, '54.
FOLEV & RICHARDS,
DEALERS in Watches, Clocks, Sil-^
vor Ware, Jewelry and Fancy Goods,
Dooks, Stationery, Ac. -iS
O’ Particular .attention paid to repairing Clocks,
Watches and Jewelry. All work warranted.
Wellsborough, July 13, 1854.
TIOGA MARBLE YARD.
FITCH & SHERWOOD,
DEALERS IN
Italian and American Marble,
FOR
MANTELS, MONUMENTS, TOMBS,
CENOTAPHS. GRAVESTONES.
O’ Entire satisfaction will always be given
SHOP IN TIOGA VILLAGE , PENN 1 A.
July 13. 1854-ly. I
C. E. GRAY,
(Successor to Hoy df Sofidd.\
DEALER ih Stoves, Tin, Copper and
Shcet-lron Ware. Sale Jloom, one door cast
ofJ. R, Bowen's Store. Wells boro’, July 14, *54.
CRYSTAL. FOUNTAIN HOTEL.
rpHE 'subserfter would inform the public
-L that hAas purchased the large and commodi
ous Douse lately Occupied by £. M. Bodinc, on the
corner of Mam street and the State Road, and will
Dp able to accommodate all who may favor him
with a cab. The house is newly fitted up in a style
tunt is unsurpassed by any other in the county. It
it Kept strictly os a Temperance house.
Wellsboro*, July 13, 1854. DAVID HART.
Carriage & Wagon Manufac
tory.
T-TENRY PETRIE would an-jpyg
nounce to his friends and
public generally, that he is '-■'’ lf, n l iin^ 'ft*
the above business on Grafton • slrefcl, immediately
ir. the rear of J. R. Bowen’s store, where he is pre
pared to manufacture on short notice,
Carriages,'Buggies, Sulkies,
Wagons,
of any sUle or description to suit the purchaser,
and of Uie very best materials. All kinds of re
pairing done forthwith rand on the most reasonable
terms.
PAINTING AND TRIMMING will be prompt
\y executed in the best manner and most fash,
jonable style.
Blacksmlthing.
Any jobs ol repairs, making or repairing Elliptic
Springs, Horse Shoeing, in short, all kinds of work
done in the best manner and warrantee.
Ucllsborn,’ July 13, ’54. HENRY PETRIE
NE\V ARRANGEMENTS.
A GROWL would announce lo ihe cili
-fk-. zcnB oi Tioga county,' that he has associated
with him*« partner, and the business will be con.
dueled under the firm of A. Chowc & Co. They
will continue at the old stand, in Wellsborough,
to manufacture and keep on hand,
Ituggys A Lumber Wagons,
CARRIAGES, SLEIGHS, CUTTERS, sc.,
winch for style, durability and elegance of finish,
cannot be surpassed] by any other similar establish
ment in the counlrv
Workmen of celebrity arc engaged, and tfie best
materials used expressly in all the manufacturing
departments of this establishment.. .Persons send
mg orders may rest assured of having them exccu
cdt to their entire satisfaction, and finished in every
particular the same as though they attended in per
son
REPAIRING done as usual, with neatness and
despite.
PAINTING of all kinds done on the shortest
notice, and most reasonable terms
AII kinds of merchantable produce (deliver
ed recived in exchange for work, at the market
price: A. GROWL & GO.
July *l3. 1855.
FURNITURE.
Ar WELLSBOROUGH, PA.
T'HE subscriber lakes pleasure in nnnoun-
A cine to bis old patrons “ and tlio rest of man-
Vm'!," that he is still carrying on the
CABINET MAKING
in all its branches, at bis old Stand,'near the Wells
co rough Academy, .
His work is manufactured from the- best
of materials, and all those who favor him with a
call may rely upon obtaining articles' which for
CHEAPNESS ELEGANCE and DURA BILL
T l, are second lo none in the market.
lie will endeavor to keep on band all articles of
HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE—such as
Pur, Centre, Card, Breakfast Sf Dining Tables ,
French, Cottage &. Common Bedsteads,
Mahogany, Maple and Common Bureaus ,
Dress, Light , Work, <Sf Wash-Stands.
Persons wishing any articles not on hand will be
supplied to order.
COFFINS of every variety on short notice.
Chairs! Chairs!
In connection with the above be would stale that
be has just received from the best 'factories in the
county a large and well selected assortment of
CANSTAND COMMON CHAIRS,
Hookers of various patterns, which will
m sold on reasonable terms. D. STURROCK.
Wellsborough, July 14,1854.
Worth Seeing!
THE splendid assortment of Goods that
the subscribers are now daily receiving is
realy north a call to examine. They have just
returned from New York with the largest assort
ment of Dry Goods, including Ladies’ Dress Goods,
that was cve t offered in this country, and all are
:to call and examine them, whether they
wish to bnyot not> -T 0 enumerate articles would
tic useless to attempt. A personal inspection can
« ,n ow > ldei »{ what tills extensive estab
lishment contains.—
O’DON’T FORGET the PLACE
Tie Nets Start of
July 13, 1854. . JONES <fc RQB.
Q ABUBHBLS Clover Seed just received and for
b»ls by [Mar. 3D] .M. M- CONVERS.
PyRIED APPLES, PEACHES and BERRIES.
for sale by [June 28.], •V. CASE.
5" ; U
*** Sgttaftatetorm.
M. H. COBB,
YOL. 1.
r (
* . V
The Maiden’* Chdl^b/"!' ■*’' •
A young maid saf by 'b&cottagp treh,"’ '
- A beantifbl maid at thedawn Of ; day?
Her sewing fell idle upon' her knee— -
For her heart nndhorthonghts ivpro far away;
When a sober old woocrcdme iiptho dell,
A wooer whose hbpea'pne'woUld thihk wer6 few;
Bat a maiden’s heatlls » puzzle ib tloH— ,
And thongh old hisfaW—yei hie epilwaancw;
Oh, a young maid’* a puzzle fa tell—
■ Ami though old liisfebb—yet his coat was new.
The wooer ha gawrtet* Wistful look-*- i-
And wistful 100 werolbe words he said,
While merry she Bong, like a summer brook.
And pJayodWiUf he? UfttUlft.mnd luwtUJ hor threap.
He spoke of the ring iujtfdhe wedding chime, -
He pressed her hand; dnd he bonded-his knee,
And he begged and implored her to Jixthe time!
No—go ask my mother, said she; ,
Oh, fix it yourself, my darling, said he—
No—go ask my mother, Mid she. -'
Scarce into the house had the wooer gone,
When a young man leaned o’er a neighboring stile,
And sad was the look that the youth put on,
And playful and gay was the maiden's smile;
Pray, who is Ibis carle that comes here to woo ?
. And why atyour side does he talk so free ?
Must I ask your mather.-dear Mary, too?
No, Harry, she whisper'd,. you must ask me,
I’d better go in, your mother to see ?
No, Harry, no—no! yon must kneel and ask Me.
There was wailing one mom at the village church
Wailing and weeping.md words of woe—
For the wealthy old' wooer .Was left in the lurch,
The maid had gone off w)th a younger beau;
Warmly the sun on the hedgerow glowed,
Warmly it shone on the <Jd farm gate;
And wild was the laughter Open the road
As Harry rode off with his wedded mate.
Ha! ha 1 ho cried—ho, ho,laughed he—
They may wait a long whpe ero the bride they see,
SELECT JIdCELIINV.
The Vncla<
Widowers should look out for breakers.
Absalom,Nippers was a Widower, and one of
parlicularist men in the, wofld, when his wife
was alivfe he used to dress as common as a
held hand, and didn’t use to take pains with
himself at all. Everylidy knows how he
spruced up about six w«ks afier Mrs. Nip
pers died, and how he went to church regu
lar every Sunday, buLmeople did / not have
much confidence in hioJcligion,iynd used to
say ho went ms new suit
of mourning, and to looKaTtho-gals.
With such a characfenamong the wimmin,
it ain’t to be supposdiljothat he stood any
chance of gelling anotßSr Mrs. Nippers near
Ko*WO 5 ■■«■■■ ■» iwJ-W life
first wife as they said he was or not, one
thing certain, he had to go abroad to
find one to fill her place.
Mr. Nippers was very lucky to find a gal
Juki to his mind, that lived about ton miles
from bis place.
Nancy Parker was rich, though she wasn’t
very young or handsome; she belonged to
Mr. Nipper’s church, and suited his eye ex
actly, so ho set to courtin’ her with all his
might.
Ten miles was a good long ride, and as he
was an economical used to ride over
lo -Mr. Parker’s plantation ■ every Sunday
morning to go to church with tho family,
lake dinner with ihcm, and ride back in the
cool of the evening.
A ride over a dusly road is apt to spoil a
man’s dry goods and make him and his
horso.very tired. However, Mr. Nippers
didn’t mind the fatigue as much as his horse;
but in a matter such as he had on hand it
was important that ho should make as good
an impression as possible, so he adopted a
plan by which he could present himself be
fore the object of bis affections in order, with
his Sunday coal as clean, and his blooming
ruffles as fresh and neat as if they had just
come out of a bandbox.
This was a happy expedient, and nobody
but a widower lover would think of it. Ho
used to start from home with his new coat
and shirt tied up in a pocket handkerchief,
and after riding within a quarter of a mile
of Mr. Parker’s plantation he would turn off
into a thicket of bushes itnd /here make his
regular toilet. ' v
One bright Sunday morning Mr. Nippers
had arrived at his dressing ground. It was
an important occasion. Everything was
promising, and ho had made up his mind to
pop the question that day. There was no
doubt in his mind but he would return home
an engaged man; and .ho was reckoning
over lo himself the value of Miss Nancy’s
plantation and negroes, while silling on his
horse, makingms accustomed change of
dress, lie had dropped tho reins on his
horse’s neck, while it was browsing about
making up last night’s scanty feed from the
bushes in his reach; and kicking and stamp
ing at such flies as wero feeding, on him in
return. [
“ I’ll fix the business this time,” said Mr.
Nippers to himself, “ I’ll bring things to o
point this time,” and ho untied his nice clean
clothes, and spread.them on his saddle bow.
“Wo, Ball,” says he—“l’vo just got to
say the word, ana—wo!” says he to'his
horse, which was kicking and rearing about,
‘f Wo you old fool—and the business is set
tled just .like falling off a 10g.”.. M
He was drawidg his shirt over his head/
when Ball gave a sudden spring which was
like to mqke him lose his balance.. - “ Wo,”
says he, but before'he could get his arms out
of bis sleeves, Ball was wheeling .and kick
ing like wrath, at something that seeded to
trouble him amazingly.
Dowd wcdl the clean clothes, shirt and all
on theground. “ VVo! blast your picture—
wo,” says he, grabbing at the .reins. But
before he. could get hold of hlrfi. Ball was off:
like a streak of"iightniqg,‘. with a whole
swarm of yellow jackets .around his tail,
pinching him'iike,thunder. , ,
grabbed hold of the mane, and
tried to stop. b)s, horse, but it,was no use.. „
Away he web( infuriated, and taking the
TIOGA COUNTY, PA.., TIICTSCAY, MORKISR, JUJ.t 20, 1851.
rpatf used ’to traveling, another mo
inent Wm to the house. The gate
was pppq, and,! indhshed the horse with the
almost netted Nippers hanging to his heck
.boflerin’ like blazes, “stop him! hornets!”
as loud as he could scream. |■ .
Out came the dogs, and aftpr the .horse
thoywvcnt around, the house, scattering, the
ducks and chickens, and terrifying the little
niggers out.of their senses. The noise lining
the wimmen out. ■
“ Don’t look, Miss Nancy I hornets! wo I
ketch him I” shouted the uncladj Nippers, as
with spent breath, he went dashing out of the
gate with the dogjs still after him, and horse’s
tail switching in every direction like a hurri
cane.
Miss Nancy got one glimpse of her forlorn
lover, and before she got her apron to her
eyes, she fainted, white his fast retreating
voice crying “ hornets! stop him! hornets!"
still rang in her ears.
There was only one baby among the mem
bers of the late excursion party up the Mis
sissippi to the falls of St. Anthony. That
baby was only six months old—a son of
Henry Farnam, Esq,, the engineer of the
Chicago and Rock Island Railroad. When
the baby was first brought on board the
Golden Era, some of the company shrugged
their shoulders and others said “ humph.”
One crusty old bachelor muttered, “ we may
look for squalls now,” a man with mustaches,
who passed for a wit, sighed for the days of
good King Herod. The baby meanwhile
looked about and crowed a little, and then
quietly entertained himself with sucking his
fist.
iorteman.
Well, from the time we left Rock Island
on Monday evening till we returned on thq
following Saturday, not a cry or the suspi
cion of a cry was uttered by the baby. He
was indeed a charming little fellow, always
bright ond placid, and ready to meet half
way those who were disposed to be attentive.
Of the sensation of fear he seemed to be ut
terly ignorant. He would go to the arms of
a rough old backwoodsman as readily as to
those of the beautiful Miss W. or Miss J.;
and remain contented away from his mother
or nurse, till fearful that be was giving trouble,
they would come in search of him. But in
stead OT giving trouble; he seemed to be doing
morq than anybody else for the general on
pinch him to see if he coutd cry; and in one
instance the experiment was tried without
success. The features of the gruff old bache
lor, who had looked so austerely at first on
this infant phenomenon would now relax ns
he came in sight, and he at last ventured
upon the experiment of taking him in his
arms, and found to his delight that (he baby
maintained his good character even in his
inexperienced embrace. '
The general satisfaction at the baby’s un
paralleled behavioral length manifested itself
in a substantial form. It was resolved to get
up a testimonial. A subscription was put in
circulation for a gold cup, to be presented ns
a token of admiration and esteem of the pas
sengers, who, when they reflected how much
a crying baby might have detracted from,
their enjoyment, liberally opened their purses,
and subscribed the handsome sum of $260.
A formal presentation of this offering was
then made. Mr. Rockwell, late member of
Congress from Connecticut, was deputed to
address the baby. This he did in the pre
sence of the assembled passengers, the baby
meanwhile being held in his mother’s arms,
and always jumping and chuckling at the
right place in Mr. Rockwell’s speech.
The speech, which was a capital one, and
enunciated with due gravity and dignity was
followed by a reply from Professor Twining,
of New Haven, the baby’s medium on the
occasion, and who spoke on the little fellow’s
behalf in admirable stylo, now witty, and now
beautiful, for upwards of fivo.minutes. Both
speeches were enjoyed and applauded. Ex-
President Fillmore was appointed to prepare
an inscription for the gold cup—a task which
be accomplished with his accustomed good
taste; and Mr. Rockwell was appointed la,
purchase the cup.
Thus ended one of the pleasantest little epi
sodes of the great excursion ; one that must
be always remembered with pleasure by those
who witnessed it, and especially by the pa
rents of the child who so early in life won so
solid a mark of the approbation of his seniors.
Boiton Transcript .
What Punch Says. —Punch says that
there are several things “ which you never
can by any accident gel a lady—be she
young or old— to confess- to.” Here are
some of them: That she laces tight. That
her shoes are 100 small for her.- That she
is- ever tired at a ball,' That she paints.
That she is as old as she looks.' That she
has been more than five minutes dressing.
That she has kept you ;wai(ing. That she
blushed whena certain person’s name was
mentioned. • That she ever says a thing she?
Idoesn’t mean. That she is.fond of scandal. 1
That she’ can’t’keep a secret. That
sfte ! of all persona in the world—is in love.
That she doesn’t want a new bonnet. That
she can do with one single thing less when
she is about to travel. That she hasn’t the
disposition of an’angel, or the temper of a
h#int —or how else coufd she go thrdugh half
of what sho does ! ’ That she’ doesnVktioW
better than every bhe else shal is beat for he(f.
That she is a flirt or a coquette," Tbatfsbe
is ever in the wrong.., 1 V
“ I’h-the youngest of sixteen,” said ia fine
young girl just budding into womaphoOd, to
an, -aspirant. for-her smiles; "Gracious 1”
pried;he, your,.mother must havcnbeen quite
-iquite—a—B—a— multom in Parvotv.
*’ r \:
I *
fc:«a
(rate
5? Ks;
“ THE AGITATIOX OF, TfiODGHT IS THE BEGINNING OP WISDOit.”
A model Baby.
O'
?■ : V- . f,| -•>
/..tr'* ■ :- "‘'-■* .W :
: (- •! ■■’ivi-' i.
Grow* can Count Three and no
A few months since we were tiding in a
stage coach with several gentlemen, when the
conversation turned upon the subject of crows,
and many .interesting anecdotes were related.
One gentleman said that he knew that crows
could Count—at least as far as .three —for he
had otjenj proved if. Being troubled with
crows in tjie field, he had often attempted to
shoot them. But they knew what a gun was
as well as he did, and therefore kept out of
his reach.' He then concluded to put up a
small boot|i in the field, and .place some dead
carrion—a dead horre, within gun shot.
From this place he supposed he could fire at
them when they flighted to eat. Whenever
he entered the booth, the crows would all sit
on the distant trees, and not one .of them
would come near until he was gone. Then
all would alight except the sentinel, who re
mained to give warning if danger approached.
The gentleman finding his plan to fail,
thought he would deceive them. So he took
his son with him to the booth, concluding
when they had seen one go away, the prows
would think the coast clear and descend to
the bait. But when the son left the booth, e
crow sung out caw, caw, caw, (there goes
one,) but not a crow would leave his place.
The next day the gentleman took (wo per
sons with him to the booth, and let them de
part one at a lime. The crows on the trees
saw the first, and cried out “ there goes one,”
in their own peculiar dialect, then when the
other went they cried “ there goes two,” but
they would not alight, for they had counted
three when they entered.
The day following, the gentleman look
threrotbers with him. When they went out,
one by one, the crows cried “ There goes
one”—“ there gees three.” And when these
men were out of sight they all alighted, and
the gun of the fourth man did its Work.
The gentleman stated that this thing had
been tried repeatedly, and it was evident that
crows could count as far as three, but there
their arithmetic ended. When they will
ascend to the higher branches of mathematics
is yet to be ascertained. In the meantime
others can bring on their incidents of crqw
nology.
A person arguing " mo«»iy-«o -elicit the
truth,” and losing his temper because he gets
tl» worst tiif the-argument.
Peace men breathing universal
brotherhood, and indulging in inflamalory
language that is more likely to lead to a
breach of the peace.
High-titled ladies sympathizing deeply with
slaves oT America, and keeping up a number
of milliners working all night; because they
must have their dresses sent homo by a cer
tain lime.
Iriqjt members always abusing the Govern
ment, and yet too happy to accept a situation
under it.
Agriculturists paying enormous prices for
Peruvian guano, and allowing all sewerage
to be wasted in the cities.
Tradesmen giving their daughters (ho edu
cation of fine young ladies, and . expecting
them to mind the shop.
Condemning a boy to prison for stealing a
handkerchief, and yet allowing a wealthy
shopkeeper who has been convicted several
times of using false weights, to gol off with a
small fine. ,
Patriots declaiming loudly about the liberty
of the subject; and putting their servants in
livery.
Government seeing the charitable necessity
of ten hours bill in the cotton mills, and not
passing a similar measure for. the benefit of
'milliners, needle-women, and other oppressed
classes with whom the hours Of working are
only limited by the will of tho master.
The following is a certain euro for that ter
rible disease of the mouth, commonly called
“ scandal
Take of “ good nature,” and op an herb
called by (he Indians “ mind your own busi
ness,” one ounce; mix this with a little
“ charily for others,” and two or three sprigs
of “ keep your tongue between your teeth,”
simmer them together in a vessel called “ cir
cumspection,” for a short time, and it will be
fit for use.-
Appucation. —Thesymploms are, a vio
lent itching in the tongue and roof of the
mouth, which invariably takes place when
you are in company with a species of ani
mals called gossips; when you feci a fit of
the disorder.coming on you take a teaspoon
ful of the mixture, hold it in your mouth,
which you. will keep closely shut until you
get home, and you will find a complete
cure. Should you apprehend a relapse, keep
a smalP’botllo of the mixture, about you and
on the slightest symptom repeat the dose. -
Too Wtyrv by Half.— ;A ; youihful reader
of the Notions, thus experimented on his
mamma, who was making the family bread,
■a few days, since r : ■
“Mother, it strikes me you are very lazy
just now.” ; . ...
“ How dareyou say sol- Why,don’t yqu
'see I’m making hreadTlicidignantly returned
the lady. ' ! • v
“ True, but that’s neither more.or less 'than
loafing .” !■ ■ '■
;The wit got no hot cakes for several days.
'He 1 makes no Such-puns since. ■ ■
• ■ joßWYvpne ,.wa? standing
ly .the wii)4pw, gaz|t%al I the moon imd s(are}.-
aod afier looking.forspmeiiime vgrymtently,-
ha t.urned and said fo-bis,raother,:Who;was
sitting beside him; ?‘ M«ramfi, what are those ,
bright little things, in (bo sky 7: ate iheyMhC'
imoon’s little babies I”- ’ ;-, 1 1*- i-viw
more.
Inconsistencies.
A Good Recipe. l
PUfoISHfiR.
Vanity of XIIc.
The following from a late speech of Mr.
Benton, is oMouchingexhibition of the vanity
of political ambition r
I have gone through a contest to which I
have no heart, and into which I was forced
by a combination against life and honor, and
from which I gladly escape. What is at seat
in Congress to me 7 I have sat thirty years
in the highest branch of Congress, have jnade
a name to which I can. add nothing, and I
should only be anxious to, save -what! has
been gained 7 I have domestic affections
sorely lacerated m these latter times; s{ wife
whom I have never neglected, and who needs
my attention now more than ever; children,
some separated from me by the expanse of
oceans and continents, others by the slender
bounds which' separate time from eternity.
I touch the age which the psalmist assigns os
the limit of manly life, and must be thought
less indeed, if I do not think of something be
yond the flitting and shadowy pursuits of this
life, of all .of which 1 have seen the vanity.
What is my occupation 7 Ask the underta
ker, that, good Mr; Lynch, whose face, pre
sent pn so many occasions, has become plea
sant to me. He knows what occupies my
thoughts and cares; gathering the bones of
the dead—a mother, a sister, two sons, a
grand child; planting the cypress over as
sembled graves, and marking the sjiol where
I, and those who are most dear to me are
soon to be laid.
A Lady who was ijuite in the habit of
dropping in at her neighbors about meal time,
in the hope of obtaining an invitation to par
lake with the family, was recently completely
nonplussed by the unhesitating frankness of
a child. Knowing that a neighbor’s supper
hour was five, she called in about four, and
settled herself down for a long call.
“ It takes two to make a bargain,” and the
lady honored with the call hod no idea of
giving an invitation, if it was in her power to
escape it. Accordingly the hour of five
bfought no indications of supper. Time wore
on, the sun was neaV its setting, and still the
same. A little girl, the daughter of the lady
in question, began to grow quite uneasy.
length, her mother having gone out for ajnjb
meni, the visitor said, “ you must come over
and see me, Mary, some time.” “ No, I
won’t,” said the child. “ Why not I” <> Be
cause I don’t like you.” “ But why don’t
..J'du like me ?” “ Because I’m hungry, and
want some supper.” “ I don’t prevent you
having your supper, do 17” “ Yes you do,”
Said little “ Mother said she shouldn’t
have supper (ill you were gone, if you staid
till midnight.” In less than five minutes the
visitor was marching out of the front door.
“ Don’t carry on so,” said Mrs. Parting
lon to Ike as she saw him resting his head on
the ground In a'vain attempt to throw his
heels into the air. There was solicitude in
her (one and a corn broom in her hand as
she looked at him. “ You must not act so
gymnastically, dear,” dominoed she, “ you
will force all the brains you have got into
your head if you do. You can’t do like the
circus riders, because eProvidenco has made
them o’ purpose for what they do out of In
gee rubber, and it don’t hurt ’em at all. They
ain’t got bones like other people, and can
turn heels over head with perfect impunity.
“Don’tdo it!” screamed she, as the boy
stood on one leg upon the woodhorse, and
made a feint as if about to throw a sum
merset, you’ll desecrate your neck by and by
with your nonsense, and then you’ll regret it
as long as you live, Ike desisted, as the
dame smiled and held a circular piece of cop
per before his gaze ; such persuasive potency
had that smile over him, backed by the-xop
per \—Post.
A Guinea Pig.—A young man attempted
to catch a guinea pig recently, but unfortu
nately it happened to be a skunk. It met him
with a discharge, more uncomfortable than
dangerous, and drove him from the field.
The stotiy is that the young man, who is a na
tive of Erin, was a passenger in the Stage
from down the river. This side of Plymouth
they passed an animal with a number of
young ones, which some of his fellow passen
gers said were Guinea pigs sure, when he
made a break rght in among the flock deter
mined to bag a few. He left the field with
eyesight impaired for a lime, and when we
saw him was without hat or coat, Which we
suppose had become the priz§ of the victors.
The Proprietor of the Phoenix was gently
intimating the impossibility of entertaining
him (hat night, as his house was full of stran
gers who might iavo a variety of tastes in
the selection of perfumes, which the young
hunter, took very good noituredly.
Every story of the kind has a moral, but
as taslo varies in that as well ns in perfumes,
we leave the deduction io each reader for him
.self.—Record of the Times.
DivobceExtbaobdinaby.—A woman ap
plied to one of our attorneys not long since to
lake steps towards procuring a divorce on ac
cout of habitual drunkenness and ill-treatment
in her liege lord. The attorney,’who is a
strong temperance man, was much impressed
with the story of her wrongs, add’ engaged
Jo.commence necessary proceedings,at once.
A few days.ago, again
to consult,about (fjpesse, sndat the close of
. the interview inquired how long il would be
before the matter was finally.consummated.
The attorney replied, that- com*
mieserated her kitpatio.Di anti would do all ho’
could to. relieve her . m>the Bhorlest
itimip..: He thougbt he would be. able -to do so
sgainst lst.of September at farlhest.i;Oh I”
said: she,.- her.ivoice' betraying-lhe-deepest
emotions, “ cank-it be-done- sooner,' for Tin
engaged to" marry another In Jtily lj’ -The
i kitorqqy catilifloweredi— LafayetteJournal; '■
.. Out ,WestttSßUlementwasborelyahrKtyed ,
by a rogue. who Jiole jgbeepjfrequfinily, but
«ii*> adroltnefc, always to
nscapedirectproof ofhis guilti- CasSvto
:pumerab|e, oifly three shade* beioteihelegal
standard pf proof, Werecorreolly recited
againsthim, ; Nobody, however; couldfhr
mishlha eyjdence whkh .would stop U p the
RogueVGap of- Reasonable Doubt.. Peiij.
bone was too wide awake for that. - (
At length, ope Sunday morning, a neigh
,bor on some sodden emergency, was passing
across the country—perbaps’fora doctor—
through a turned-hut field but little freqdented,
and where a small flock., of sheep were ac
customed to grafce. Here he saw. Petlifaona
in pursuit of a fat'ewe, and too enthusiastic
in the pursuit . tor observe thar there , was a
spectator of thp chase. At length PeUibone
overhauled the bleating emblem of innocence
and with glittering, blade let out its life. 'At
this juncture, the aforesaid spectator rode op
and exclaimed:
“ Ah! you infernal sheep-dealing rascal,
I’ve caught you at last, have ‘I, right in the
act of killing John Simpson’s sheep?’’
“Yes! shouted for
ward his face and shaking his hijead defiantly
at bis interlocutor, while he flourished. bis
blade indignantly—“ yes I and I’ll kill any
body's sheep that comes and tries to bite
me!"
• fjvrt
m
The defense was worth a sheep, 'and they
only required “ Petty" to leave the neighbor
hood, lest all the sheep became vicious.
Hardly any two females kiss alike. There
is as much variety in the manner of doing it,
as the faces and manners of (he sex. Some
delicate creatures merely give a slight brush
of the lip. This is a sad aggravation. We
seem to be about to “ have a good time,” but
actually get nothing. Others go in to it like
a hungry man to beefsteak, and seem to-chew
up our countenances. This is disgusting and
soon a delicate loveh Others
struggle like hens when -burying themselves
in the dry dirt. The kiss is won by grea(.ex
ertions, and is not wqj-t(T - a8 much as -the
trouble it cost. Now. we are in favor of•»
certain shyness when a kiss is proposed, but
it should not be continued too long; and;
when the fair one “ gives it,” let her admin
ister it with warmth and energy. Let (here
be soul with it. If she close her eyes, and
sigh deeply immediately after itj the' effect is
greater. She should be careful not to " slob
ber” a kiss, but give it as a humming-bird
runs his bill into a honey-su.cklc, deep, but
delicately. There is much virtue in a kiss
when well delivered. We remember one we
received in our youth, which has lastjed us
40 years ; end we believe it will be the last
thing wfe shall think of when we die. ,
He Wouldn't do it. —A friend of'ourS
who deals in plain English, and has no ac
quaintance, with large words at that, happened
to take a walk to Swampscptt one pleasant
morning recently. A stranger Was to preach
at the Swampscott church that day, and the
bell had nearly finished toHiog, when our
friend hove in sight of the church. Being
well dressed, and looking decidedly dignified,
hq was at once taken for the expected minister.
■Atf he approached the church, he was met by
sevbral hardy sons of the ocean, and one of
them addressed him:
“ Sir, do you official® lo.day?"
Our hero, slightly misunderstanding the
purport of the question, answered rather in
dignantly :
“ No, m he cussed if Fll go a fishing
Sunday, for anybody /” ’
The Swampscott friends concluded that he
wasn’t the man they had taken him to be.—
Lynn Ntvs.
“ Mbs. Jones,” said a gentleman one day
last summer, when’ railroad accidents were
so numerous, to a lady whose husband was a
brakesman, “ Mrs. 'Jones, do you : not feel
Worried about Mr. Jones while he-is on the
(Sara, in view of the many accidents (hat are
now daily occurring?” o-No, not at all,”
replied the contented lady, “ for if he is kill
ed I know I shall be paid for it,'because Mr,
Williams got forty dollars for his cow that
was run over by the cars a few days since.”
The Danville Herald has a devil who
thinks this is a great world. He says that at
the office they charge hint with all the pi
they do find, while atthe boarding-house they
charge him with all they don’t find. He
seems to doubt the propriety of the procee
dings.
A Man died of apoplexy the other day in
Michigan.' The next morning the coroner
held an inquest, when the,following verdict
was returned:—“Died fronv.a visitation of
one beef-steak, eight cold potatoes, and a fried
pie." Sensible jury that.
- The New Castle Banner, (Democrat,) in
speaking of those editors who are opposing
the Ktjow-Nolhings, expressed the opinion
that “ if there is" any one who knows less
.than those edilprs, he deserves jpity.”
Young America is an evanescent globule
of creation. iHe comes into the world on hia
knees, flitters through it on a cloud Of steam,
and leaves it by a misplaced switch on.tho
line of advancement.
Everything useful or necessary is cheap
est ; walking is the most wholesome exercise,
water (he best drink, end plain food the most
nourishing and healthy) diet—even in know
ledge, the most useful is the easiest acquired.
If a GiBL thinks. mqre of her heejs than
her head depend,,upon it she will never
amount to much. Brains which.settle in the
shoes, neverget abov.edhemu r ; t Young gentle
men will please put/
Among the dhrjtdUieilately added to the
Schenectady-Muiiiirri;- is- a mosquito’s' blad
der containing the souls of twenty four thi
sers and thh fortunes of twelve printers—
nearly halfwH; • i V
y. I wow
a dye-tub, i
sandy halrl
put yourp ii
Betsey,,
■ . We- rfccidodly '/dßject'to. a) bid
;his littlo,'ha r titf abbut
ta slabds by, ahd remanis thjiti]
‘is decidedly beginning to ‘’UfltßJl
4 A Vloioaa SUeep.
Kissing.
d adyiaeiyou to put your, head into
rather, red,” a joker to a.
id girl. f?‘ I, would advise, you to
it9.au omi), it’s jrather ebfo’-.9*id