Newspaper Page Text
TIRE. VILLAGE RECORD,
I.ER.IIS—Two Dollars per Annum , if paid
within the , year; Two, Dollars and
Fifty cents after th expiration
of the year.
.ADVERTISEMENTS -- One Square (10
lines) three insertions, $1,50 ; for
each insertion; Thir
ve' Cents per Square: ,' A liberal
discount made to yearly adver
LOCALS.—Brisiness Local 11 Ten Centsper
• line for the first, insertion, Seven
Cen for subsenuentinsertion.
DR. M. L. •
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Offers his professional services to the
,citizens of Quincy and vicinity. Office near
-the Burger Hotel. apr9-tf
ISAAC N. SNIVELY.
,PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
he 'Bowden -House. Nov 2—tf.
4,705_UP13 DOT,T h -I_,A.S,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
_;Practices in the several_Courts of_Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Re itl Estat© leased mul sold, and
,F,irelnsurflifice frected on reasonable terms.
R. HENRY BOWLS (formerly of Vir
ill..4htia) 'announces to the citizens of
Waynesboro' and the pUblic generally that
!.te; , .s,prepared to treat the different diseas
,es to which horsesee subject, including
i lock-jaw. Thorough study and many years
practice are the best recommendations he
;caul offer. Persons requiring his services
will find him at Minter's Ho may2l tf
• sT R
4' EIYSICIAN & sacra
Offi'e at his residence, N. E. Cor. of the
Public Square, IVaynesbero', Pa.
11IL BENJ. FRANTZ has removed to the
new Office building, adjoining his dwell
ing on West end of Main street, where he
can always be found, when not engaged on
OFFICE floras :—Between Sand 10 o'clock,
A. M., and 12 and land 6 and 9 P. M. Spec
ial attention given to all foams of chronic
disease. An eKperience of nearly thirty
, years enables him to give satisfaction. The
most approved trusses applied and adjusted
to suit the wants of those afflicted with her
.niti or rimture. ahr 23-tf
A. K. lIRANISIIyLTS;
Yor the Best and most Popular Organs in Use
,Organs always on exhibition and for sale
,nt his office.
We being acquainted with Dr. Branis
hollesocially and professionally recommend
him to all desiring the services of a Dentist.
Drs. E. A. Him NO, J. N.. llieei.E,
" A. H. :STRICKLER, J. N. SNIVELY,
" A. S. BONEUUAKE, T. D. FUENCII.
- - -
• .7. EL FORNEY & CO.
rroduce ccanalfBsion lliarahants
No. 77 NORTH STREET;
BA LTIMORE, MD.
Pay particular attention to the sale of
pour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal advancej mace on consignments.
THE BOWDE ROUSE
rrtrE subser;ber having leased this well
known H Jtel property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate 'the traveling public
and ethers who may be pleased Co favor
him with their 'patronage. An attentive
;Kistler will at all times be in attendance.
May 23-tf .SANPL P. STONE:it.
LIVERY ! LIVERY !
frIIE subscriber informs the public that
I he has opened a new Livery Stable, on
Vest Main Street, at the Sander:s' stable.—
Speedy horses and first. y.lass convey
ances furnished at all times. An attentive
'hostler will alWays be found at. the stable.
A share of the public's patronage is respect
fully solicited. JOILN S. FUNK.
ju1y.3.0 tf ,
rritE subscriber announces to hi; old ens
' torners and the public that lie has again
taken up his residence in Waynesboro' and
,will be pleased to receive a share of public
patronage. His place of business is on Lei
tersburgstreet, nearly opposite Pot
tery. " JOS. ANDEII,I".ON.
jHE subscriber notifies the public that
11/3 has commenced the Dairy busiriess
and will supply citizens regularly every
morning with Milk or Cream at low rates.
He will also leave a supply at M. Geiser's
Store where persons can obtain either at a
ny hour during the day. •
IVATER Crackers, ginger smalls, and
1 fancy uraclzer3 urocery
';iltE gill) ROCKS THE CRIDLE MIES ilig ifORLD."
Dear woman, in the dream of life,
Adorned with every winning art ;
As mother, daughter, eister, Wife,
She melts the soul, she charms the heart
Without her, what were lordly man?
A rainless cloud -11 fruitless tree— .
A world without a sun—a plan
That ever incomplete must be.
her fost'ring care, devotion, love,
Seem inpirations from above.
In.childhood's hour, beside her chair
She calls the Pagile form ;
She clasps herliny hands in prayer,
Safe sheltered from the storm.
Yet man, ungrateful man, the dart
Of falsehood hurls with skill i
And when he's won a woman's heart •
lie seeks its love to kill.
Her lot is to be tried; though pure,
To sigh, to suffer; and endure.
Oh, mothers of a race unborn,
'Tis yours to speak those grand decrees
That herald in the promised morn,
Ye are the molds of heralds strong '
Who guard and glorify our isles;
The seas in song shall roll along
Bengath the splendor of your smiles,
The beautiful and good shall reign,
And sinless Eden bloom again.
MR. MERTON'S LESSON.
"I cannot wait any longer. I must
have my money, and if you cannot pay I
must foreclose the mortgage and sell the
place," said Mr. Merton.
"In that case," said Mr. Bishop, "it will
of coarse be sold at a great sacrifice, and
after all the struggles I have made,. my
family will again be homeless. It is hard.
I. only wish you had to earn your money
as I do mine, you might then know some
thing of the hard life of a poor man. If
you could only in imagination put your
self in-my "pia* I think you would have
a little mercy on me."
"It is useless talkin g ; I extended this one
year, and I cannot do so any longer," re
plied Mr. Merton, as he turned to his desk
and continued writing.
The ioor man rose from his seat and
walked out of Mr. Merton's office ; his
,tigt hope gone. He had just recovered
from a fit of illness, which had used up
the means with which he had intended to
make the last payment on his house.—
True, that gentleman had waited one year
when he had -Wed to met the demand,
owiug to illness in the family, and he had
felt very much obliged to him for doing
so. This year he had been laid up for
several months, during which he could
earn nothin g , and all his savings were
then needed for the support of himself
and family. Again he had failed, and
now he would again be homeless, and have
to begin the world anew. Had Heaven
fbrsaken him and given him over to the
tender mercies of the wicked?
After he bad left tho.office, gr. Merton
could not drive away from his thmights
that remark to which the poor man iu his
grief had given utterance: "I wish you
had to earn your money as I do mine.:
In the midst of a row of figures, "Put
yourself in my place" intruded.
Once after it had crossed his mind he
laid down his pen saying : "Wel!, I think
I should find it rather hard. I have a
mind to drop in there this afternoon and
see how it litres with his family ; that
man has aroused my curiosity."
About five o'clock he put on a gray wig
and some old, east off eol hes, walked to
the residence of Mr. Bishop and knocked
at the door. Mrs. Bishop, a pale, weary
looking woman, opened it ; the poor old
man requested permissim n to enter and
rfst awhile, sayil g he was very tired with
his long journey, for he had willked ma
ny miles that day..
Mrs. Bishop cordially invited bim in,
and gave him the best seat the room af
forded, She then began to make prepar
tions for tea. The old gentleman watch
ed her attentively. Ile saw there was no
elasticity in her step, no hope in het move
meats • and pity for her began to steal in
to his heart. When her husband entered,
her features relaxed into a. smile, and she
forced a cheerfulness into her manner.—
The traveler noted it 011; and he felt
himself forced to admire this woman who
could assume a cheerfulness she did not
feel for her husband's sake. After the ta
blf. was prepared, there :vas nothing up
g. cleft pserg.
I loatka!,abbor ! detest !,despise
Abominate I dried-apple pies;
I like good bread, I like good meat,
Or anything that's good to eat ;
But of all poor grub beneath the skies,
The poorest is dried-apple pies,
Give me the tooth-ache or sore eyes
In preference to such kind of pies.
The farmer takes his \ gnarliest fruit,
'Tis wormy, hitter, and hard to boot ;
They leave the hulls to make us cough'
And don't take half the peeling off;
Then on a dirty cord thßy're strung,
And from some chamber window hung;
And there they servo a roost for flies,
Until they're ready to make pies.
TreAd on my corns, or tell me lies,
lint don't pass me dried-apple pies
A PANILT‘NEWSPAPEIt-wDEVOTED TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS.. ETD.
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PAC, THURSDAY, ,DECEMBER 31, 1874.
on but bread, butter and "tea. They
invited' the stranger to cat with them, say
ing : "We have not got much to offer you,'
but a cup of tea will refresh you after_j
He accepted their hospitality, and as
they discussed the frugal meal, he lead
them without seeming to do so, to talk of
their own affairs.
"I bought this piece of land," said Mr.
Bishop. "at a very low price, and" instead
of waiting as I ought to have done, until
had saved the money, to build, I thought
I would borrow two hundred dollars. The
interest on the money would not be near
ly so much as the rent 'I was paying. I
did not think there would be any difficul
ty in paying back the borrowed. money.—
But the first year my wife and one of my
children were ill, and the expenses left
me witnout the means to pay the debt.—
Mr. Merton agreed to wait another year,
if I would pay the interest. I did that.
'This year I was for seven months unable
to work at my trade and earn anything;
and of course when pay day comes around
and this is very soon, I. shall again be un
able to meet the demand."
"But," said the stranger, "will not Mr.
Merton again wait you another year if
you make all circumstances known to
"No, sir," replied Mr. Bishop, "I saw
Mtn this morning, and he said he must
have the money, and should be obliged to
foreclose the mortgage."
"He must be very hard-hearted," repli
"Not necessarily so," said Mr. Bishop.
"The fact is, these rich men know nothing
of the struggles of the poor., They are
just like ,the rest .of mankind, and I am
sure if they but bad the faintest idea of
what the poor have topass through their
hearts and their purses would open. You
know tt has passed into a Avert), "When
a poor man needs assistance, he should
apply to the poor." . The reason is obvi
ous. The poor only know the curse of
poverty. They know how heavily it falls,
crushing the spirit _out of a man ; and to
use utzr favorite expression, they can at
once put themselves in the unfortunate
one's place aud•appreciate his difficulties.
and are therefore always ready to render
assistance as far as they are able; and if
Mr. Merton bad the least idea of what I
and my family had to pass through, I
think hp would be willing to wait several
years for his money, rather than distress
With what emotion the stranger listen
ed may be imagined. A new world was
being opened to him. He was passing
through an experience that had never
been his before. Shortly after the con
clusion of the meal. he rose to take his
thanking Mr. and Mrs. Bishop for
their kind hospitality. They invited him
to stay all night, telling him he was wel
come to what they had.
He thanked them and said. "I will tres
pass on your kindness no longer. I think
I can reach the next village before dark,
and be .so much the further on my jour
Mr. Merton did not sleep much that
night, Ho layed awake thinkin g . He
had received a new revelation. The poor
had always been associated in his mind
with stupidity and ignorance, and the first
poor family he had visited he had found
far in advance, in intelligent sympathy
and real politeness, of the exquisite and
fashionable butterflies of the day.
The next day a boy called at the cot
tage and left a package ia a large blue
envelope, addressed to Mr. Bishop.
Mrs. Bishop was very much alarmed
when she took it ; for large blue envelopes
were associated in her mind with law and
lawyers, and she thought that it boded
no good. She'put it away until her bus
bapd came home from his work, when she
handed it to him.
Ile opened it in silence, read its con
tents, and saidfrequently, "Thank Heav
"What is it, John?" inquire4 . hils anal
"Good news," replied John ; "suelLnews
that I had never hoped for, or even .
"\Vhat is it—what is it? Tell me quick
—I want to hear if it is anything good."
"Mr. Merton has canceled the mort
gage, released me from debt, both inter
est and principal, and says any time I
need further assistance, if I will let him
know I shall have it."
"I am so glad, it puts now life in me,"
said the now happy wife. "But what can
have come over Mr. Merton?"
"I do not know. It seems strange af
ter the way he talked to me yesterday
morning. I will go right over to his of
fice and toll him how happy ho has made
He found Mr. Merton in his office apd
expressed his gratitude in glowing terms,
"I followed your suggestion," replied
Mr. Merton, "and put myself in your
place. I expect it' would surprise you
very much to learn that the strange trav
eler to whom you showed so much kind
nes.s yesterday was myself:"
Indeedl" exclaimed Mr. Bishop, "can
that be true! ll9w did yoti disguise your
self so well ?"
"I was not so much disguised after all,
but you could not very well associate Mr,
Merton, the lawyer, with a poor wayfar
ing man—ha! ha! ha!" laughed Mr. Mer
"Well, it is a good joke," said Mr. Bish
op; "good in more senses than one. It
has terminated very pleasantly for me."
I Was surprised," said Mr. Merton, "at
the broad and liberal views you expressed
of men and their actions generally. I
suppsed I had greatly the ' advantage o
ver you in means, education and culture;
yet bow cramped and narrow-minded have
beep my views beside yours I • that wife
of yours is an estimable woman, and that
boy of yours will be an honor to any
man. I tell.-yo Mr. Bish4," said the
lawyer. becoming animated, "you are rich
—rich beyond what money can make you:
You—have_treasurealthat—gold — will -not
buy. I tell you, pia owe me no thanks.
Somehow, I seem to have lived Tears since
yesterday morning, I have got into a new
world. What I learned at your house is
worth more than you owti;iite, and I . am
your debtor yet. Hereafter, I shall take
as my motto : 'rut 'yourself in my place,'
and try to regulate my actions by it."
The Tombstone Agent.
Gibbs is a tombstone agent. He Suds
it to his advantage to-work 'upon the feel
ings in many a sale. The other day he
happened to be in - a strange section, and
was sent to call upon. a Mrs. Brown, who
had lately lost, her husband. He intro
duced himself, and was invited to sit down;
he spoke of the weather, and then getting
around to business, said, rather tenderly :
"So you have lost your husband?" She
wept, and said that it had that resemb
lance. Ho said he sympathized with her
in the hour.of her affliction ; that the best
of friends' were doomed to part, and but
few knew say snore whose turn would be
He had not the honor of being acquaint-,
ed with Mr. Brown,• but he had heard him
spoken of all over the country in the
highest terms of praise (this was his usu
al style whether he had or not); every
body considered him au honorable, man.
and an affectionate husband, and they
-mourned-his -loss -with -the-most tender-af
fection and he deserved a fitting memo
ry; tad as it was the last sad rite she
could do; he begged her to look over some
excellent monumental designs in Italian
Saud American marble, which he was pre
pared to sell at the lowest terms:. ; -
Said she, "Lookee here, mister, you said
he wc..? qn honorable man and an affec
tionate husband; when yon know'you lie;
he wasn't no such thing. It's true I've
lost him, but he ain't dead ; ho ain't the
kind that dies. He ran off last Wednes
day with another woman, and doesn't need
a tombstone, I'm sorry to say ; and I'd be
much obleeged to you if you'd light out
and not come back here again until you
have occasion, mister . ..o He faded away
from there, and stayed' in the neighbor
hood two ays, endeavoring to cultivate
an acquaintance with the man who sent
AN OLD STORM RETOLD.—"Iiafe you
gnt some of dot kjnd of oysters what hafe
been shpiled y"
"Spiled oysters ? Yes, we have a few
cans left from last week that I think will
"How you solt 'ew a down ?"
"Oh, I'll sell 'et right; you may have
all you want for a dime."
"Veil, den, mine goot frent, vill you be
so kind as to pring me four dozen of dot
The oysters were brought, and the cus
tomer put' them quietly down, and then
'said to the restaurateur:
"Now, my very kind frent, you hafe
got some good oysters, ain'd 40"
"You're mighty right, I have."
"Veil, I takes a half - dozen raw, und
These were in turn served, and quickly
put down on.top of those gone before.
But the restaurateur was troubled, and
when the patron camp to settle the bill,
said to him: '
"Look here, Fiord, I don't like to be
too inquisitive, but Mowed_ if I wouldn't
like to know why you took a toady to se
many spiled oysters and so few good ones."
"Veil, I told you. Now, I hafe got a
tape-worm and efery time dot is the way
I hafe to do. You see, dot last half doz•
en was for miueself, but dot damaged - lot
wos for do tape-worm. You know I aind't
dot 'kind of a Commodore Vauderpilt
that I can afford it to preak up mine
whole peezness to feed a tam tape worm
on goot oysters."
INDIVIDUAL WORK.—John B. Gough
has not ceased saying good things, This
is among his last;
'I cannot help thinking, that if there
was a little individual work, a little more
moral courage in the world to save men,
the world .gyould 'not ho so much of a
Wreck as it is to-day. If you saw that a
friend, a brother, was taking a wrong
course, what would you do ? Would
you merely - say : Dear, dear, dear 1 how
painful' it is that so many men are going
wrong. Just as sure as he moth - toes that
course he is a lost man •, but ho will go ;
dear, dear, dear!" And when you hear
the despairing cry coming up from the
depths, add : "I told you so I" Now
what should you do? Should you not
lay your hand on Asi o and• say: "My
friend you are going' wrong!" l'irhat - if
ho swears at you ? Never mind ; save
him if you can, Many a man has not
got so far from your sympathy but that
one word, kindly said in his ear, "My
friend you are going wrong," will check
him. The difficulty is that we let men
go so far from oaf ,sympathy that we can
not reach them.,.. ` low it is this individu
al Work that I/believe is to reform the
world, and bring it back to God,"
PureANl . ft water is the:best of all blood
purifiers- It dissolves,almost every im
purity that may find its way into the blood
and passes off through "'theskin, lungs
and kidneys, thus washing out the blood
without any irritation iu Owing through
the system, and without those chemical
changes and deposits which are likely to
arise from the action of the drugs- Why
then use doubtful dangerous, and often
injurious drugs for purifying the blood,
when pure, simple, safe, pleasant and far
more effectual water moy be had without
money and without price.
Those whom the people dislike live to
a (rood old an.e.
• Jos)" BZLUNOS ON RATs.,—Ritts
Cu in friim liorwa,y and i wish they
had orkinally staid there.
- Tliey - are about az - uncalled for az a
pain in the small of the back.
• They can be domestikated direful eazy ;
that iz, az far az getting into cubboard,
and man.' cheese and kuawing pie ez con
- The best _wny to domestikate them i ev
saw, id to surround them gently with a
steel trap ; you can reason with . them to
Rats are migratorious, they migratly
whatever they have a mind to.
Plzen is also good for rats ; -it often
softens their whole moral nature.
Cats hate rats, and rats hate cats, ant
.'suppose there is between 50 and 60
millions of rats in America (i quote en
tirely from memory,),and i don't suppose
thare iz a.single necessary rat in the whole
lot. This shows at a glance how =Ay
waste rats thare iz runnin around. Rats
inhance in number faster than shoe pegs
do by. machinery. One pair ov healty
rats iz all that a man wants to start the
rut business with, and in ninety Rases,
without eny outlay lie will have rats" to
Rats viewed , from cony platform yu can
build, are unspeakably cussed and i would
be willing tew• , make enny man who could
destroy awl the rats in the United States,
a valuable keep sake, say fur instance,
either the life and sufferings of Andy
Johnson, in one volume_calLbound,_or a
receipt to cure the blind staggers.
DANGER FROM EATING NUTS.—As this
is the season for drinking and eating nuts
it may not be amiss to give a hint which
may be useful. Medical men advised that
salt should be taken with nuts, especially
when they are eaten.at night. One time,
says a writer, while enjoying a visit from
an Englishman, hickory nuts were serv
ed in the evening, When my English' friend
called for salt, stating that he knew of a
case of a- woman eating heartily of nuts
in the evening who was taken' violently
ill. The celerated Dr. Abernethy was
sent for, but it was after ho had become
too fond of his cup, and lie was in no con
dition to go. He muttered "Salt! Salt!"
of which no notice was taken. Next morn
ing he went to the, place and she was a
corpse. He said had they given her salt
it 'would have relieved her and if they
would allow him to make au examination
he would convince them. On opening the
stomach the nuts were found in a mass.—
He sprinkled salt on this and it immedi
ately dissolved. I have known of a sud
den deitth myself which appeared to have
been from the same cause. I generally
eat salt with nuts, and I consider that it
CURED HER.—An old man up in Con
nedicut, had a poor, cranky'bit of a wife,
who regularly once a week got up in the
night and invited the family to see her
die. She gave away her things, spoke
her last words, made ber peace with heav
en, and then at about eight she got up in
,the usual way and disappointed every
!hodir by going at her household duties as
if nothing had happened. The old man
got sick of it finally, and went out and
got a coffin, a real nice cashmere shroud,
a wreath of immortelles with "Farewell,
Mary Ann" worked in, and a handful of
silver-plated screws. Layiog the screw•
driver beside the collection, he invited her
to just holler die once more. "Do it,"
said he, "and in you go, and this farekrell
business is over.' Mary Ann is at this
moment baking buckwheat cakes for a
large and admiring family, while they dry
apples iu the coffin in the garret.
Labor.—lt is a mistake to suppose
that labor is an unpleasant condition of
life. It is a matter of experience that.there
is more contentment in attending to
kind of occupation than there is in look
ing for some occupation. Attend, there
fore, to your business, and regard' your
business as being 'worthy of all your at
tention. Workingmen are apt to -donsidor
that their 'occupations alone are laborious
but in that matter they are mistaken.--
Labor of mind is generally even more fa
tiguing than physical labor. It is errone
ous to suppose that others do not work as
well as we do, simply because their work
is different from ours. Laboris the earth
ly condition of man, and until the nature
of man is changed, the want of something
to do will produce all the horrors of en
nui. Gambling and other reprehensible
dissipations are all owing to the fact that
human nature cannot support a state of
'<news. To, live without purpcso is to
lead a s very restless life.
TIM PRINTER'S STORY.—We ice saw
a young man gazing at the *ry heavens,
with a f in 1 itte- and a ,--,----, of pistols
in the other. We Ndeavpred 2 attract
his atlOtion by .ing 2 a paper we held in
our Stir, relating 2 a young man in that
§ of the country who had left homeiin a
staB of derangement. He dropped the
f and" pistols from his eferlllo".with the
!: "It is lof whom U read. I left home
be 4 my friends knew my design. 180 the
thr of a girl who refused to listlO to :ne
but smiled upon another. I---ed
from the house uttering a wild ! 2 the god
of love and without replying to the ? ? of
my friends cnme here with this f and
pistols, 2 but a . to my xislOc.
.1%:Iy case 114.3 no 11 in this §."
A. man in Coos couptv, N. IL, ordered
a barrel of poor whisky of a Portland,ne,,
firm, and it went like hot cakes among his
neighbors. - One night lipluid a danco,and
the liquor was all used up. Not topg af
ter, the owner received a letter from the
Portland house, saying, 'Send back the
barrel we sent you last week, at our ex
pense immediately. By mistake, we sent
you burning fluid 'instead of whisky,'
A Cool, Quatc.En.—A Friend appear
ed in court recently during a trial and ,
stood, as Quakers *re accustomed to, with
his hat on. A very efficient marshal, em
ployed"for this occasion, to assist in pre.
serving order, regarding this as an 'insult
to the court and to himself, as her repre
sentative, approached the Friend and 'de
manded, imperatively, that he should un
cover. The Friend explained that he
meant no dissespect, but it was the custom
of their people. It would not do. 'The
brave special marshal raised his cane and
knocked the offending broad-brim on the
floor. The friend paid no attention •to
this, but remained motionless.
In a little while the, marshal returned
picked up the hat, and handed it to the
Quaker who took no notice of it whatev
er, and the marshal deposited it on the
table. But the poor marshal was not at
his ease, and shortly after this he again
appeared, took the hat, and placed it very
,the Frend'a head and the last
we saw of the Quaker he stood there with
his bat on, looking as coolly at the pro
ceedings as though nothing had happened
to disturb his equanimity.
• LOVING AND FALLING IN LOVE.-
Nothing is indeed so common in this ,world
as falling in love ; yet is not quite so com
mon to love. The one is the flower that
may and wither in a night ; the
other is the rich fruit from the flower,that
can survive the sun and storm, and ripen
to decay no more. When feverish anxie
ties have passed away ; when "hopes and
fears that kindle hope" haveceased ; -when
selfish jealousies and lovers' quarrels are
buried; when l'hozmymoons" are long for
gotten, and the snowy brow has become'
wrinkled, and the eye_ lostits
then does love, worthy of the name, be
come the inmate of the heart and home
—love, pure,.noble, devoted, self-sadrific-1
ing, seeking not its own but. the happiness
of its beloved object—a love such as youth
never dreamed of or realized.
LOVEES WOES IN ILLINOIS.-A tele;
gram _from Jerseyville, 111., to ,the
go 'limes says: "A sad sequel to an en
gagement, caused by misplaced affection,
happened here this week.. George Coop
er wooed and won the affections 'of a you ug
lady living west of here, but the girl dis
carded George and engaged herself to a
nother. This so unsettled George's mind
that he became crazy, and was placed in
jail for safe keeping prior to being sent to
Jacksonville. While George was raving
in his cell his late affianced came here
and was' married to "the old fellow,"-at
the clerk's office, close by the jail, so that
the .newly wedded pair was first greeted
by the shrieks of the . rejected lover. The
young 'couple returned home, but by no
means happy, as the cries of the former
lover continued to ring in the bride's ears,
and the next day she became a
A BEAUTIFUL PRAYML-A pocir Irish
woman asked a wealthy lady, the owner
of a beautiful flower garden in Detroit,
for a flower or two to put oil the coffin of
her dead child. The good lady invited her to
be seated, and very shortly brought a
magnificent cross and wreath. The afflict
ed ono vas overcome, and' as soon as-ishe
'was able to express herself she said most
fervently, "May our blessed Redeemer
meet you at
. the gates of heaven with a
crown of flowers, more beautiful than
these"—a most touching prayer, in which
many will join the afflicted mother
A. plain-spoken preacher delivered the
following from his desk : "I would an
nounce to the congregation, probably by
mistake, there was left the meeting
house this morning a small cotton um
brella, much damaged by time and wear
and of an exceedingly pale.blue color, in
place whereof was taken a very large
black . silk umbrella of great beauty.:---
Blunders of this sort, my brethern, arc
getting a little too common.
If you want to get on in life you must
he honest and true. Be like the India
rubber ball, which rebounds the higher
the harder it is thrown down. There may
be such a thing us luck lying around loose .
iu some corner of nature ; but the chan
ces aro ten thousand to one that it will
not fall to you. Make Anintelligent plan
and work it with an honest purpose, a
manly heart. and a will of nerve, of de
termination, of grit.—Heinvortic.
The St. Louis Globe notices that the
westward bound trains are crowded with
nice young men, who part their hair in the
middle and carry Russian leather travel
ing bags. They have heard that Mr.
Sharon, who gave his daughter a mil
lion-dollar wedding present, has another
(laughter in reserve, and they are going
West to grow up with the country.
• If all men were to bring their misfor
tunes together in one place, most woidd
be glad to take his own home again, rath
er UAL' take a portion out of the common
stock. ' •
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it it
to have a man's wife d:aw the bed clothes
over her head, and declare that she won't
build a fire if she dies for it.
The best part of beauty is that which
no painting can express ; the soul beneath
which speaketh through the eyes.
If you ' will just take notice; you
affil find that a bald-healed man uevcr
raises his but to a lady. • -
If ruin will but work like benvers, the
result of their efforts will soon be felt.
' It is said that kerosene, will produce
If any man leavei a door open nay"
E hoot him on the :Tot.
$2.00 PER YEA R
tOu I 401
lit and Samar.
Jonah was a stranger among whales,
and they took , hini in.
A noted architect when asketl 'what
was the best system of ventilation ?' re
plied, 'open fire-places in every room.'
Monkeys never grow older in express
ion. - A young monkey looks exactly like
his grandpapa melted up and born over
(One young lady in Illinois; owing to
the devastation of the grasshopperS,hasn't
but three diamond rings and Maui; silk
dresses left. -
A father at Dubuque makes his child
ren address him xis follows, for instance:—
West respected and revered father,
take another tater.! •
Western poet who had expressed a
wig) to die 'amid the grand solitude or
the eternal mountain tope was killed 'by
the explosion of a pint of cheap kerosene.
, They call at a'f rfunate accident' whe
a Missouri railroad ain goes in the ditch
and no one-is killed e ept three or four
old women and two or th e drovers.
Steadiness of nerve is illustrated ty the
case of •the man who can sit and hold
skeins of silk for his wife for a couple hours
at a time, without moving his legs
Swiss - watchmaker-has-invented-s
-watch that runs by horse-rower. , It,is no
larger, than mshirtAnitten, and a deaf man
cau hear.ii tick half a mile on a windy
.t lius invented a t_ rip'' ,
hammer as large as rnall ineeting' house. i
It will drive a nail oan oak plank at
a single blow, .but the plank' is neyer nem
. ft marl .k:........
The • maddest kind of a woman is one
who spends a half hour inwranginr , her
toilet before descending to:tlie pazl7ir.on
the arrival of a visitor—wbcr_proves
a biok aeent. •
- A 'Western editor says be canhot un
derstand how any ono possessing- what is
generally known as a conscience can coun
terfeit a five-cent piece, and pats .on the
back of it In God we trust.' "
Ladies sbould remember to -keep their
mouths:shut wl n oing out of-s warni
room into the coo r. fact; it - wouldn't
hurt anything to ke• them shut most*
The fellows have . worn a hole - in iiiiit . '
carpet with their e tees, in trout of thet,
sofa on which M Poniard, ,a pretty
Binghamton. mil lin sits. - 'An u uele has
died, leaving... her $400,000.:' . . ~.
A•pnan had better have ft m illstone tied
to his neck and be cast into the Sea then.
to promise to marry a Texas girl and then
refuse. The whole countriturns - ont to
hunt him, and he is generally reft to grohr
up s zLth a tree.
. , ,
A newly married couple recently start
ed out on their wedding tour accompanied
by a small sized two year•old infant,whicit
they bad hired for the purpose of' deceiv.
the vulgar public in
. thc.matter of3beir
new found bli'ss.
A little girl,• reading the "History of
'England" ?Atli her mother, and coining
to the statement that Hairy Lnever laugh
ed after the death of his sun, looked up
and said : "what did he do when' htiwas
The small boys in 'Vallejo, Cal., need
moral or religious instruction. The Val
lejo Independent of Oct 7, says: "A lit
tle lioy scarcely six years old was stand
ing-ou one of the principal street corners
up street yesterday 'afternoon, crying pit
eously. One of our officers gppronched
him and asked him what Was the matter.
don't'know where.my lather is. I told
the old,sucker not to go far or he would
loose me r'
14.1colVic.—One. of the most laconic
men we have. heard of is an Aberdeen far
mer, upon a young man, Milting to mai
ry his daughter, called One day.-'The far=
mer happened to be ploughing in the Sold.
The hesitating lover, after running paral
lel with the furrow several times round
the field, and essaying with all his cour
age to utter the important question, at, ,
last forced out, a prefatory half-yolumeful
of sentences, ending with, "I 511001.11103
to marry your daughter." The old far
ther replied, "Take her_aud use her well,
Whoa, haw-buck !"
A New Orleans judge riding in the ears
recently, front a single glance at the mint-
CINUICC, cf.& lady by his side, imagined he
knew her, and ve,uttired to remark that
the day was pleasant. Slie:olity auswer
"Why do yon wear rt veil r
"Lest I attract attentioo."
"11. is a province of gentlemen to ad
mile," replied the gallant watt of the
"Not.when they are married."
"But I uin not."
"Oh, no I I'm n baehelor."
e lady quietly removed her veil, dis
closing to the astonished magistrate the
11106. a -his mother-in-law I • •
aelies been a rikving maniac ever since.
tmpsceisiinnt faith, a cheerful trust,
turns the4artness of night into a pillar
of fire, and :the cloud by day fnto paryettek
gray. - They wlici.tlinis "inaroh:on.
frisued evea,:in the wilderness, and . . lbiiiie'" . •
AttlitultP asearn4 fileklifigl4ll4.-..
•=7 • •