SOY W.' BLAIR. 'MIME 27. "THE VILLAGE - RECORD," PUBLISHED 'EVERY THIRISDAY MOIMING By W. BLAIR. TER3fS--Two Dollars per Annum if paid .within the year; Two Dollars and Fifty cents after the expiration of the year. ADVERTISEMENTS---LOne Square (10 lines) three insertions,sl,so; for each subsequent inserion, Thir _ five Cents per Square. A liberal discount made to yearly adver tisers. LOCALS.—A3usiness Locals Ten Centsper affe for the first insertion, Seven Cents for subseuuent insertion, frofessionat (arts. . - DR. .M. L. MILLER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,. - Offers his professional services to the citizens of Quincy and vicinity. °lnge near the Burger Hotel. apr9-tf ISAAC-N.-SNIVEL PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, WAYNESBORO' PA. Office at his residence, nearly opposite he Bowden House. Nov 2—tf. • 3 - OSMPIT. ATTORNEY AT LAW. WAYNESBORO', PA. Practices in the several Courts of Franklin and adjacent Counties. N. B.—Real Estate letise4 and sold, and Firelnsurance effected on relloonable terms. December, 10 1871. VETERINARY SURGEON. Tin. HENRY BOWLS (formerly of Vir- JL)ginia) announces to the citizens of Waynesboro' and the public generally that he is prepared t$ treat the different diseas es to which horses are subject, including lock jaw Thorough study and many years practice are the best recommendations be can offer. Persons requiring his services will find him at Minter's Hotel. may2l tf • I t ST R C 4t . • • 4' HUMAN & SURGEON. Office at his residence, N. E. Cor. of the Public Square, Waynesboro', Pa. apr 11-tf REMOVAL ! 111 R. BEM'. FRANTZ has removed to the new Otliceriniding, adjoining his dwell ing on West end of Main street, where he can always be found, when not engaged on professional visits. OFFICE Hocas :--LBetween Rand 10 o'clock, A. M. and 12 and `land 6 and 9P. M. Spec ial attention, given to all forms of chronic disease. An experience of nearly thirty years enables him to give satisfaction. The most approved trusses applied and adjusted to suit the wants of those afflicted with her nia or rupture. apr 23-tf A. K. BRA.-N ISHOLTS, RESIDENT DENTIST Isecia - carn I 'lf/ ALSO AGENT • For the Best and most Popular Organs in use Organs always on exhibition and for sale at his office. We being acquainted with Dr. Branis holtssocially and professionally recommend him to all desiring the services of a Dentist. Drs. E. A. Hama, J. M. Rim.; " A. H. STRICKLER, 1. N. SKIVE'S, " A. S. BONEURAKE, T. 1). FRENCH. jitlyl7—tf ar. H. FORNEY & CO. Produce Commission Metab.ants No. 77 NORTH STREET, BALTIMORE, MD. Pay particular attention to the sale - a Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c. Liberal advances made on consignments. may 29-tf THE BOWDEN HOUSE MAIN STREET, WAYNESBORO', PENN'A. THE subscriber having leased this well ` known HAO property, announces to the public that he has refurnished, re-pain ted and papered it, and is now amply pre pared to accommodate the traveling public and gthers who may be pleased to favor Min with their patronage. An attentive hostler will at all times be in attendance. May 23-tf SAWL P. STONER. LIVERY ! LIVERY 1 THE subscriber informs the public that he has opened a new Livery Stable, on West Main Street, at the Sanders' stable.- - Speedy horses and first class convey ances furnished at all times. An attentive hostler will always be found al. the stable. A share of the public's patronage is respect fully solicited. JOHN S. FUNK. july3o'tf TAILORING. THE subscriber announces to his old ens. tomers and the public that lie has again taken up his residence in Waynesboro' and will be pleased to receive a share of public patronage. His place of business is on Lei tersburg street, nearly opposite Bel.'s Pot tery. JOS. ANDERSON. may 1-tf ID .A. I Pa ar .T. IrTIE subscriber notifies the public that he has commenced the Dairy business and will supply citizens regularly every morning with Milk or Cream at low rates. He will also leave a supply at M. Geiser's Store where persons can obtain either at a ny hour during the day. BE J. FRICK. nov 27-tf SOOor 1000 Choice Chestnut Rails for post fence for sale, in front of Mon terey Springs hotel. Enquire of Fear. 13-tf H. YINGLING, Agt. G S deft paint. TB OLD KEEPING 110011, DY REV. JOHN THEO. ETTER. I come, a pilgrim Wan and worn, Back to the house :where I was born— I softly tread to-day! My heart bears, as a holy thing, The many memories I bring From life's long, weary way ; . Familiar are these stairs fndoed, Which to the second story lead— How natural to me! Just as of old—l do declare— The knot-holein the wash-board there— , • 'Tis open still—just see! Nine steps—l need not count them thro'— All-lay-you what you will, 'tis so ; The short flight there has four. This hand-rail on the entry-side— What sport for boys adown to slide, As we were wont of yore. The window, at the head, is seen, Venetian shutters, painted green, And they are - closed up still. The ghostly light of evening falls So pale upon the stairs and walls, I feel a timid chill ! Half smiling now, and now half sad— Half weeping now, and now half glad, o I ascend the stairs. I reach the top—l touch the door— It opens as it did of yore— I did it unawares! The dear old room ! how many a night,. From evening hour till morning light, Here, child and boy, I slept ! There, iu that corner, stood my bed— Here was the foot, and there the head All this my memory kept. How'sweet our childhood's sleep appears; One rests not so in after years— Alt I this too well I know I Life fills the anxious heart with cares ; A wakeful head the pillow bears, And night's dull hours move slow. The moon is up, 'tis full and bright— It pours its mellow flood of light Upon the bed and floor ; What moves upon the wall about? The shadowy play of trees without— I've seen that oft before. All, all is still—save but the wail Of lonely cricket's evening tale, Hid in the window-sill. Hark ! in the closet—tick—tick—tick I It is the death-watch's ghostly click— I wish that worm were still ! If there be ghosts—ah ! who can tell? This place, this hour, would suit them well; Perhaps some may be near ! I see naught with my eyes that's real; Yet, in my spirit's sense, I feel As if they might be hero. Yes, ghosts are here from childhood's hours They have no forms, but come as powers, And give me pleasing pain; They mirror to my heart the plays, Of all my early halcyon days, Which cannot come again! Angels are here. S 3 pare and rare, They. play upon the moonbeams there, They glide along the wall ! Back to this ark, like Noah's dove, They bring their sprigs of peace and love— .l hail'their friendly call. These spirits guard us in our ways, So mother's Holy Bible says— And I believe it too, Have we the "Oar Father" said, They watch that night around our bed, Most certainly they do ! This did our mother often tell; We children all believed it well, And did as we were told. You don't Leleve? your wiser—you? Than mother and the Bible too? Such folly makes you bold. For me this faith wrought like a charm; I slept quite free from fear or harm, In peace till morning light. I hold it still—l will believe, That they who pray this prayer receive An angel-guard at night. I've often wished I were again A child, as innocent as then— But that can never be ; So I will•keep, as best I can, The life of childhood in the man-- . The child-like nurbe in me. But, see, high up has gone the moon— How long I've wandered here alone ! 'Tis time for me to leave. Good-by, my little room, good-by— hold ! there is something in my eye! This parting makes me grieve! Bliudinutous grading. DR. CREIGH'S ADDRESS. DELIVERED AT THE PRESBYTERIAN RE UNION ON THE 27TH OF SEPTEMBER, '74. It was a law of Jehovah under the Jew ish dispensation, that all the males of the Hebrew nation, who had arrived at their twelfth year, were to appear before the Lord in the years during their sacred feasts. These feasts continued generally speaking for about seven days. They are occasions of great intereqt. They are made of great ,account. "Whither the tribes go up, the tribes of the Lord, unto the testimony of Israel, to give ,thanks unto the name of the Lord." •These fol A FAMILY NEWSPAPER-DEVOTED TO LITEWIIRE, LOCAL .AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC. -WA.YNESBOItO 9 , FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1874. lowing "things among others were gained by their observance : -Mist, the promotion of the oneness of the Jewish people .both in their civil and.church relations.. Scattered abroad over the laud of Judea and divided into tribes, it might have tended to their disentegration ,• but this would serve only as an effectual check to it. Secondly, when, difficulties might arise between the different tribes, that these dif ficulties might be adjusted at the metrop olis of the nation, where Jehovah Himself had His earthly dwelling place, and from which point He ruled - among the people. And tliirdly,that the different tribes might become acquainted with one another in -their individual capacity. • During the separation of those who attended on these festivals from their families. there.was a very remarkable providence extended to their families and propErty. Although surrounded with enemies who were ready to itijiire them, both in person and proper ty, yet during these seasons when the able bodied men .we're called away, and the old and decrepid and the young were left at home,never in a single instance were those who were "left behindin any way molested. Similar to these gatherings is the pres ent convocation. We are brought togeth er as representatives of the Presbyterian church of this great and beautiful valley. As churches,it is well for us to be brought together in this social way, in order that we may become personally acquainted with one another in regard to the interests of our Zion in this portion of our Lord's vineyard ; that we may stir up one an other to love, and good works ; may share .more largely in each other's sympathies; and may be bound more closely together in that sacred relation which unites us as Christians and which has brought us to gether as Presbyterians. This valley did not begin to be settled until near the close of the seventeenth and the beginning of the eighteenth cen tury. Its original name was Kitiochtinny or North Valley. It was settled by the Scotch-Irish, who emigrated from their own country to this country in consequence of the trials they had to encounter in their own land. They selected this part of A merica, making their way into this part of Pennsylvania, because of the peace and quiet they would have from the peaceful government of NVilliam Penn. They were an intelligent, hardy and thrifty people. They were a hardy people. They were endured to hardships from the beginning —not only in felling the forests and in preparing the laud for cultivation and so on—but in consequence also of contests with the Indians. It would require a voluine to tell of all these trials and trou bles. They were plain in their habits, and were contented with their style of living, which was of the plainest kind. They knew nothing of the extravagauc.es and follies of the present age. With their log cabins of 20 feet by 25 feet, built of logs, with clapboard' roof and puncheon floor, they were perfectly contented. It was their parlor,their family room,their cham ber, nursery and kitchen all in one. The ordinary wear of the men Was a loose wan mus or hunting shirt, with' trousers made Of the same material, and moccasins made of deer skin. The ordinary dress of the women was a short grow and peticoat made of lilisey-wcolsey with a sun-bonnet or hood. This was their ordinary wear. But still they had something better, i. e., those who could afford it. The male attire was a coat of homespun and waistcoat, with breeches often made of buckskin, with knee buckles, long stockings, shoe buckles and a cocked hat. The ladies' attire was a dress of silk or some other material e qually costly, a bonnet made of material to correspond, a kerchy of white around the neck and covering the upper part of the breast- Their food was simple and plain. Hog and hominy and potatoes, with mush and milk, were their standing fare. And as for coffee and tea, if the old folks could have them once a week, and this on the Sabbath day, they were more than satisfied with the privilege. Nor must we forget to mention the little shelf on which rested the Family Bible, the Confession of FaitTi,Psalm book, Pilgrim's Progress, Boston's Fourfold State, Saint's Rest, and such like. Iu settling in this country, 'these pioneers, were generally farmers. Hence they. selected rural dis tricts for their homes, in the neighborhood of springs or on the banks of creeks. And they preferred the slate to the limestone, because of its s easier cultivation. And they were patriots. They sighed for lib erty iu their own laud—they sought it ; they were willing to make any allowable sacrifice to secure it—and here in this land of Penn they found it. And in after years, having the spirit of freedom inwrought in them, becoming as it were a part of their very nature—when the war of the Revolution took place, al most to a man (and woman) they identi fied themselves with the cause of freedom, and fought and bled—and many died in the contest ; but the living would not yield until they had achieved their inde pendence. To these brave men and wo men we are indebted for our liberties, civ il and religious ; for our present form of government, and for all the blessings we enjoy under it. All honor to them They were a noble race. Their history is yet to be written. They are too little known. We admire the Puritans. We would not detract a single iota from the praise they receive. But in our humble opinion, the Scotch-Irish who settled in this valley at the time we are speakingof were the peers of them all. And one of the greatest ca lamities connected with the burning of Chambersbyg was the destruction of all the materials which the Hon. Geo. Cham bers bad collected through a long profes sional life-time to illustrate the early his tory, of the settlement of Cumberland Val ley by the Scotch-Irish. • When these-early settlers had,fixed - up- on this part of Pennsylvania as their home simultaneously with the erection of their log cabins, they 'erected the school louse and also the church, or as it was then call ed the meeting house. -As the early re cords of the Presbytery - have been lost, it is difficult to determine the precise date of the organiiation of some of the first formed chukches in the valley. But from the most reliable data within onr reach, the churches of Silver Spring, Carlisle, Big Spring,Falling Spring,Roeky Spring, Mercersburg, Welsh Run and Greencas tle, must all have been organized between the years 1725 and 1740. In the organi zation of these churches, great care was taken to locate' them near some spring, and not nearer to each other than the dis tance of ten miles ; and so for this latter purpose when application was madeto the Presbytery for the organization of a new church,a "perambulating Committee" was appointed by Presbytery, who by' actual measurement would not locate a church nearer a neighboring church than the dis tance of ten miles. And so beginning west of the Susquehanna, at Silver Spring —from this point to Meeting-house Spring or West Pennsborough, now Carlisle. is ten miles - ; from this point to Hopewell, now Big Spring or Newville, is ten miles ; and so to Middle Spring, and Rocky Spring, and to the other points named.— The faith of these early settlers was strict ly Calvinistic—rigidly so ; they had a great abhorence of Armenianism, Prelacy and Romanism. Their practice corresponded to their faith. Tilley loved the Confession of Faith and Catechisms, and taught the Shorter Catechism in their families, and had it taught in what 'was called "The Day School." The Pastor also had his yearly examinations of the families on the sub ject of the catechism, and also made his family visitations. And ' when a church was without a pastor, the supply who was appointed by Presbytery to preach in such vacant church was directed to cate chise the youth of the congregation.— They had no way of heating their church edifices, and for two long hours pastor and people would continue the worship of God, having come thorough snow and rain and wind and storm. Some of the precious seasons of religious worship in these early days of the church in this val ley were their communion services. They would often begin their services -Mt the Thursday preceding the Lord's Day and Continue them over the following Mon day.. Two, three, and sometimes four con gregations with their pastors would meet together for these services. On the Sab bath day, the communicants in coming to the Lord's table would bring with them a token which they had received from the Pastor and Ruling - Elder of their respect ive churches, and which being now call ed for, they world place in the hands of the officiating elders. These tokens were made of lead or. other metal, about the sill of a dime or, half-dime, and were in tended to testify that the persons holding them were entitled to the privilege of par taking of the Lord's Supper. Long after this custom of different churches meeting together at some one point for these relig ious services was discontinued, the token was still used in seperate churches. In the Lord's Supper the table was uniform ly used. There was no such thing as 're ceiving the Lord's Supper in pews or on benches. In the matter of praise, Rouse's version of the Psalms was universally used. The singing was strictly congrega tional. All united in it, led by a precen tor or clerk who occupied a place just be low the pulpit, and who would•sometimes line out the psalm which was to -be sung. Family worship was more generally at- tended to in those early days of the church in this valley . than probably at the pres ent time. The same is also true of relig ions instruction in the family. They had more time for it. From October to April they had but one service in the church 'on the Lord's day. And from April to October they had two services in the day time, with an intermission between the services of about half an hour. They had no night service, no prayer-meeting, no*Sabbath school. We, in these days, have greatly multiplied our religious ser vices and abound titr more in efforts of Christian beneficence. But while our re ligion extends over a wider surface than theirs, the question which forces itself up on us is—Does it not lack in depth ? Would it not be a better type of our true religion; if the two were found in combi nation ? It has been asked :" Has the Presbyter. ian church as strong a. hold on this Cum berland Valley as it had fifty, sixty, or seventy years ago? The impression has been made, somehow or other, that the Prebyterian church has for years past been in a declining state in this valley:: We are not at all of this opinion. Our opinion is, that the Presbyterian 'church in this valley is as strong to-day as it ever was. We do not say that it has kept equal pace with the progress of our popu lation ;. and of this following fact, we are perfectly aware that our population in the rural districts has been diminishing; but if 'lnch has been the case, we are prepared to show that it has greatly' increased in our towns and villages. For example, let us compare our strength now with what it was about fifty years ago. And begin ning at Harrisburg and extending our survey as far as the Potomac, the account stands thus : Fifty years ago there was but one Presbyterian church in Harris. burg ; now we have five, while the church of Paxton, which is in the neighborhood of Harrisburg, still lives and iszelfsus tabling. At Silver Spring the old church still exists and supports its pastor the whole of his time, while its daughter, the church in Mechanicsburg, has grown up to maturity and is also self-sustaining. In Carlisle, whore a few years ago we had bur one church, now we have two, and with a membership far in advance of the original number. Fifty years ago, or a little over it, there was no Presbyterian church of the General Assembly at Dick inson, on the Walnut Bottom road ; now there is a self-sustaining church there. In Newville, where there was but one Pres byterian church, now there are two, in cluding the United Presbyterian church. In Shippeneburg,where we had no church, but where there was an Associate Reform ed church, now we have a large and flour ishing congregation. Middle Spring church which was large and flourishing fifty years ago, has so expanded her borders as to have two additional stated places of prea ching, with two houses of worahip,the one at Newburg and the other at Orrstown.— Chambersburg, which fifty years ago haft but one Presbyterian church, with a small Associate Reformed congregation, has two large and flourishing_churches of our de nomination. In Fayettville, fifty years' ago there was no Presbyterian Church,now there is one which supports a pastor half his time. In Greencastle, where fifty years ago we bad a small congregation, now we have a large and flourishing one, which supports a pastor the whole of his time. And in Waynesborti'sre have al so a church which now supports its min ister the whole of his time, which it was far from doing fifty years ago. In Mer cersburg and the immediate vreinity,where there was but one . congregation and two church buildings. this congregation in re gard to its membership is as large 'as it was fifty years ago ; and when we include in our account the United Presbyterian .church of that place (formerly Associate) and also the Presbyterian congregation of St. Thomas, which is an offshoot of the Presbyterian church in Mercersbrrg,there is, to-day, a larger number of Presbyter ians in this region than at any former period of our history. In Hagerstown, where a little over fifty years ago there was a small Associate Reformed church, now there is a flourishing Presbyterian church. And we have also a self-sustain ing church in Williamsport, Md., and al so a Presbyterian church in Clearspring ; while the IVelsh Run church, now the Hobert Kennedy memorial church, has awakened to new life and has a pastor of her own. Numerically, the account stands thus : Fifty years ago we had about nine ministers as pastors,and a dozen of church es-within the bounds; now we number a bout twenty eight-churches and seventeen ministers who are pastors, several of our vacant churches being without pastors.— The number of ministers residing in Cum berland Valley, all told, is twenty-eight, and the number of communicants amounts to about four' thousand eight hundred, and four thousand five hundred Sabbath school scholars. Our pecuniary resour ces are immense. The Intellectual and moral and religious forces of our church will compare favorably with any former period of our history. For all this, we bless and praise and magnify the name of the Most high ! Presbyterianism as a whole has not lost, but has gained during her sojourn in this valley. In conclusion : What can be done to perpetuate Presbyterianism in this beau tiful valley, which was first settled by our forefathers, who found their way into it from the North of Ireland? The time will allow me to answer this question very briefly. Let our young men be contented to remain in the rural districts and pur sue the avocation of agriculturists. There is no avocation more honorable and more useful Than this, and more conductive to a virtuous and religious life, and our young men make a great mistake in quit ting it foc any other - secular vocation.— Let the ministry and the Rulin g Elders and the members of the church feel a deep er interest in preserving and perpetuating Presbyterianism in this Cumberland Val ley where Presbyterianism is unknown.— And let us foster our educational interetts: Wilson College for the education of wo men ; and if we can with full consent of our Methodist brethrefi, let us try to get. back Dickinson College. And then with strong attachment and sympathy for one another . personally as Christian men and women m its Presbyterian type, we will continue to hold tl.is valleya greater part of which was given to our forefathers by the Lord ; and as one of the grandest legacies of an earthly kind, we will hand it down with all its institutions, civil and religious, secular and spiritual, to genera tions yet unborn 1 "Happy art thou, 0 Israel : who is like unto thee, 0 people saved by the Lord, the shield of thy help and who is the sword of thy excellence ? and thine enemies shall be foiled liars un to thee ; andlbou shalt tread upon their high places?'—Deut. xxxiii. 29. Private and Social Wars. The great and constant war is a private one.. The idea of a perpetual war amongst nations would fill us with consternation.— Ali yet there is war iu constant operation overy where but in heaven. - There are lit tle fighting squads in numerous neighbor hoods, families, schools, and even church es, which are the pest of society. Neigh bors—some few in most neighborhoods seem possessed of the devil in this respect. and they seldom meet but at it they go like belligerent cats. No one doubts but that the same fiend is a constant guest in some families, and that fathers and moth ers, husbands and wive, brothers and sis ters, uncles and aunts, abound, who are stupid enough to get into a passion with each other—and indulge in feelings and hard words. You - eau hardly take an ordinary walk but you will see children too well learned by "children of a larger growth," who are making faces, shaking fists,and shooting words and perhaps pull ing hair, like old veteran soldiers. And alas ! you, can hardly go to church meet ing without soon becoming aware that it is the church &Mont that has assembled, and that the god' of war is present. If we privately indulge in the spirit and practice' of war, what wonder that we easily fall into the habit of public war? Your private man of war is your public man of war, as he reaches places of trust. Your fighting boys become your fighting men. It is slow work in ducing nations to resort to arbitration where the individuals of a comma ity are cultivating the war spirit. We must lay the axe at the foot of the tree here as in all other vices. • The perpetual din of private war is the cause of much wretchedness and sin.— How many families have their greatest troubles in the fact that some of the mem bers have no„ patience or forbearance.— The God of Peace as much forbids pri vate war as public, and as much invites his children to cultivate in themselies, each one for himself, the graces of peace, as he_does nations. SYPSPATRY.-If there is one quality which we should admire- more than an other, one impulse of the heart which we would cherish and esteem above another, it is that quality which makes us sympa thize with others, that impulse which causes us to rejoice with the fortunate, and weep at the sufferings of the afflicted. We are all the creatures of fickle destiny. To-day we may be surrounded by all the pleasures which fortune briners• friends , wealth, bright hopes and happiness are ours; to-morrow dawns,upon us friendless, wealth has fled, and the flowers of hope lie crushed and faded. Why then should we pride ourselves about others, because fortune's sun has lit our pathway, and its clouds have darkened theirs? To-morrow our . happiness may be theirs, their troulf• lei ours. Thus reason and experience —no less than religion—teach us that we should sympathize with erica other in sor inwomiLendeavor • to assuage the anguish of tizi — afflieted. But like all other vir tues, sympathy rewards its possessor, and renders more ,blessed the giver than the receiver. It makes us the partakers of the joys as well as the sorrows of others, and those sorrows shed an influence over the feelings which is "sweet though mournful to the soul."' We should prize and cul tivate this virtue which sheds a sweet and soothing influence over our minds and gives,comfort and joy to others. THE PILEHDI AND THE KNIGHT.—In a noble castle, there once resided a very rich knight. He expended much money in adorning and beautifying his residence, but he gave very little to the poor. A weary pilgrim came to the castle and ask ed for a night's lodging., The k n i g ht. haughtily refused liim,•and said : `This castle is not an inn,' The pilgrim replied: •Permit me to ask twoluestions, and then I will depart.' `Upon this condition, speak,' replied the knight ; 'I will readily answer you.' The pilgrim then said to him : ' dwelt in this before you?' 'My father,' replied the knight. 'And who will dwell here after you still, asked the pilgrim. The knight said: • With God's will, my 'Well,' said the pilgrim. "If each dwells but a time in the castle, and in time must depart and make way for another, what are you here otherwise than as. guests? The castle, then, is truly an inn. Why, then, spend so much motley adorning a dwelling which you will occupy' but a short time ? Be charitable, for he that bath pity upon the poor hauled'. to the Lord, and that which he hath given, He will pay him again." The knight took these words to heart. He gave the pilgrim shelter for the night, and was ever afterward more charitable to the poor. The smallest hair throws a shadow. lii bringing up a child think of its old age. A scar nobly got is a good livery of honor. Softness -of smile indicates softness of character. Truth, like roses, often blossoms upon a thorny stem. Prosperity tries the fortunate, adver sity the great. National enthusiasm is Ile great nursery of genius. A well bread man is always sociable and complaisant. A fool's heart is in his tongue, but a wise man's tongue is in his heart. "An ounce of mother„' says the pro verb, "is worth a pound of clergy." Beauty—worse than wine—intoxicates both the holder and the beholder. To be • good and disagreeable is high treason against the royalty of virtue.., He has the largest life who lives in the lives of the largest number of people. I am no herald to inquire of men's pedigree ;it sufficeth me if I know their virtues. Virtue is not to be considered in the light of mere innocence, or abstaining from harm, but as the exertion of our faculties iu doing good. I regard the progress of opinion toward absolute, universal justice, as the .one great end which hallowseffort and recom penses sacrifice. "Give me a bid, gentlemen—some one start the cart—do give we a bid, if you please—anything to start the cart," cri ed an excited auctioneer, who stood on the cart he was endeavoring to sell. "A. nvtbiug you please to start it." "If that's all you wants, Fit start her fur yen," ex claimed a broadibacked countryman, ap plying his shoulder to the wheel, and giv ing the malt siaidon . pusti forwariktuiu bled the Electioneer, out behind.. The imam tryntan then started. • $2.00 PER YEAR. I ARM Mit nud Somer. - Does it follow tkira man dislike's his ) bed because he turiirAhis back upon ice' To make app] i s bear—pick off leaves Thall the as soon hey appear. A man' eing . thr i tnel with an asstiZ) by 18 tailors, one t, "come on both of-- you." When is butter like Irish children ? When it is made into little pats. When• is a flows ke a rock ? IVlhen it is blasted. roovalrem.m.*.•••••• What object obtains the most smiles. from the ladies ? The looking glass. A Chicago sausage maker advertises is wares as "dog-cheap." - How to pronounce a Polish name— Sneeze three times and say ski. What ie that a teakettle has which everything else has 2 A name. If anything will impress the hunm.._ mind with awe; it is the eipmaion of man's face' who has just been• aroused from snoring in church. gen / flan -was disgusted at a prohibi cly vijlage in New York. He sadly left it with the remark "Dat ras de vorst blace I never vas in; so hellup crazious ou cannot shpend a zent." The CoMa'am (Ga.) .Enquirer says: "We are going to quit the newspaper bus iness ; -it doesn't pay to run a paper in a town where business men read almanacs and pick their teeth with the tail of a her ring." • This is not going to be such a hard winter for the poor, after all. The price of elephants has fallen twenty-five pm' cent. since last spring, alligators are com ing down, and hand organs are cheaper than a year ago. ./r. ;NI old elder of a church who was given to extravagant exaggeration, was at last called to account for his offense in that respect, and admonished not give way to the besetting sin in future. The good old man received .the admonition meekly, and said : "I know how prone lam to the fault, my bretheru, and bus given me tortures Of pain; and night after night I:haveshed barrels of tears over it." he meeting adjourned in silence. A lady traveling on a New England train recently, tried .toitittiet her little boy telling him that the conductor sometimes swallowed naughty boys. Theboy aston ished hei a few moments after when a conductor of unusally portly dimensions entered the car, by whispering. , "Ma, I guess he has swallowed one liple boy- al- A TOUCHING Sronv.—A' story reach ' es us from Detroit of a sad-eyed boy,'with dirt on his chin and a tear on his nose,' who went into a Detroit police station,amt having stated that he ivas a homeless wail; asked humbly to be sent to the State Re form School. Wouldn't he_ prefer to go. to the Workhouse ? ono I he had brother in the Reform School, and he would like to be with his dear brother.— Still,-he didn't want to go out and steal* sotsetliing to qualify msel f for the school. ris touched the heart of a gentleman present, who,after consulting the Sergeant, said : "I guess we can fix it, my. dear bop. I am going to leave my wallet on the desk, and the Sergeant and I will go up stairs. If you take the wallet it will be'steitling, and then you can be sent to. tlte'ltefoila School, as you wish." So thee' Wallet was deposited ou • the desk, the merk, wept up stairs, turd when they came down, not only was the property gone, but "the' boy; 0 where was he ?" Alas! he bad bettered his instructions and vamosed the ranch of justice, leaving the owner of. the pocket book a wiser mon by about $6 • worth.-- Singularly enough, the lad hasn't come back to be sentenced and sent to school.' An lowa editor who attended, a party, was- smitten with the charms of a ti►ir damsel who wore .a ruse on her forehead, and thus gushed about it: Above her nose - 4' There is a rose; ' Below that rose There is a nose. • Rose. nose, • Nose, rose, • Sweet rose, Dear nose. Below her chin There is'a pin ; Above that pin These chin, Chin, pin, tweet pin, Dear chin Whereupon a rival editor thus apes trophizi. the lowa chap: - • Above the stool There is a fool; . . - Below the fool There is n stool. • Stool, f.; HA, Pool, stool, Old sto ►l, Lnuq►l ooh. ' - • Below his seat There are two feet; Above these pet . There is a Scut, '. Seat, feet, Peet, seat, Butt seat, Big feet.. . • Work the weapon of hon Or.