BY W. BLAIR. WOLIDEE 27. eittt pottrg. agri-WILDILOWERB, The Autumn sun is shining, Gray mists are:on the hill ; russet tint is on the !eaves, But flowers are blooming stilt Still bright in wood and meadow, " 'On moorlands dry and brown ; By little streams, by rivers broad, On every breezy down. The little flowersare smiling, With chilly dew-drops wet, Are saying with a spirit voice, •'We have not vanished yet. "No, though the Spring be over, Though Summer's strength be gone, Thor - Atittirrin's - vtealth - be garnered And Winter cometh on. "Still we-have not departed, We linger to the last, And e'en on early Winter's brow A cheerful ray will cast!" Go forth, then, you! 1 a any Be joyful whilst ye may ; Go forth, then, child and mother, And toiling:men grown gray ! Go forth, though ye be humble, And wan with toil and care; ,There are no fields so barren But some sweet flower is there! Flowers Spring up by the highway Which busy feet have trod ;• They rise up in the dreariest wood; They gem the dullest sod. They need no learned gardeners To nurture them with care ; They only. need the dews of earth, Theshunshine and the air. And for earth's lowly children For loving hearts and good, They spring up all around us, They will not be subdued. Thank:God I when forth from Eden The„weeping pair were - driven, That unto earth, cursed with thnrns, The little.flowers were given That Eve, when looking downward, To face her God afraid, Beheld the scented violet, The primrose of the shade! Thank God, Unit with the thistle That sprang up in his toil, The weary worker. Adam, • Saw roses jem the soil! And still for anxious workers, For hearts with anguibh full, Life, even oa its dreariest paths, line flowers for them to cull. fflisullauton geading. HOW THE WOMAN DID IT. Peter Pennywise was in deep grief.— All the hopes of a life-time were to be frustrated. The fond ambition he had so long nursed, bis pet scheie to make the name of Pennywise the greatest in the laud, was no more. His only son, Launce lot, was to be married, and married to a plebeian—to a girl who had wealth but no name, no family ancestry, or no coat of-arms on the panel of her coach. Could human misery be greater?— Could the Ossa of grief piled on the Peli on of disappointment make a heavier load of sorrow? No. The cup of Penn) w:se wise full to the brim and he must drain it .to the lees, however bitter the draught. Such was the tenor of_ old Pennywise's musings as he paced the velvet carpeted floor of his library on the evening when our story opens. A conversation his son had with him as they sat together sipping ;their wine after dinner,bad been the cause of this tumult iu the breast of Peter Pen nywise. Launcelot was a weak-eyed and pink skinned youth, with thin yellow lair, which he.parted in the centre,and a little whisp of saffron whisker on each side of his face, the pulling of which with his nervous little hand cm stituted the princi pal employment of the scion of the house of Penny wise. 'Father,' said Launcelot, after gulping down'two or three glasses of wine to give - Atim courage. 'Father.' 'Well, my son, what do you want?' : asked the pompous head of the house. 'What do you think of marriage?' 'What do I think of what?' questioned the surprised Pennywise. 'Marriage,' replied Launcelot. 'Matri mony, you know. Two hearts with but a single thought, two souls that beat as *one and all that.' 'I think that every man should marry, and I would be glad to hear that you had " ! fixed your affections on some lady with the proper,qualificatiOns,' said -t 'ennywise. !What are the proper lualificationsl' Inquired Launcelot. replied his father, 'family— whatever else you do, be 'sure never to disgrace the name of Pennvwise by a pie "- )3einn connection.' 'Why, is our fa:nily such a very great „one' demanded the young man: 'A great one!' ethoz.d Pennywise; jt's the greatest in the laud. Study care fully the genealogical tree that hangs in the hall, which cost me five thousand to lave properly traced and you will see that the name of Pennywise was as well known as that of William at the time of the Norman conquest, q.nd that the coat of-arms is one of the most respectable and ancient that ever heraldry boasted of.' ' Well, of course that's all true, father ; but I've heard some of the fellows at the b sa that dfather was a pawn • , 'Your grandfather was a broker and 'banker as I myself am and was fully a ware of the responsibility of being worthy of his family,' said Mr. Penny wise, inter,. - rupting - his - son;—'therefore-he-began-m. education by impressing the value of a family name upon my young mind, and so, when I had grown older, and he inti mated to me that I ought to marry the highest respectable Miss Poundfoolish, I went to that lady, proposed and was ac cepted. Thus I consolidated the two great families of Pennywise and Pounifoolish, and you and your two sisters are the re sult-But_you asked my opinion _of mat rimony; are you thinking of marrying?' 'Ye-es sir,' gasped Launcelot. 'And whom do you propose honoring with your name?' . 'Miss—a Miss Petersham,' answered youthful Pennywise. 'Petersham—Petersham; I never heard of - t . t Peters h am. - Who is she? demanded the gentleman, with a darkening brow: 'She is very rich. And , Launce faltered. 'Riches are very well, but you do not need them. Your mother left you all her fortune and I shall leave you half of mine if you marry as wis . this Petersham? What does her father . do?' 'He keeps a large clothing establish -rnent! 'What!' roared Pennywise. 'A tailor? It shall not be: The arms of Pennywise shall never be marred with a needle or disfigured by—great heitven—a goose ! It shall never be—never—never!' `lt must be!' said Launcelot, going to the door, 'cause I've popped and she's ac cepted me.' The old man mechanically arose and walked to his study, where he begin pac ing the floor, as we found him at the com mencement of our story, until there came a rap at the door. The visitor proved to be the governess of the two Misses Peunywise—aged tivelve and the other fourteen—whose disorderly conduct and willful destruction of ward robe and text books occasioned many a visit to the library, after the dinner-hour, by the governess. She was a neat, pretty little body this governess, and had Tam attracted the notice of the young/13100(1s who came to visit Launcelot, but she paid not the slightest attention either to their compli ments or glances, attending quietly to her pupils, and seeming wholly wrapped in their charge. In iitct Charlie Gushing ton' who was falling in love with every girl he met, once observed •of her to Launcelot ; "Lettuce, that governess gal !—what's her name j—Amy Don ?—ain't got any heart. The only thing she could love would be more pupils or plenty of mon ey." "Good evening, Miss Dorr," said Pen nywise, when Amy had entered the libra ry. "What can Ido for you this eve ning ?" ".Excuse me sir," said Amy, hesitating ly. "I wish to see you about my pupils, but I can see you are grieved and agitated, and as 1 fancy '1 know the cause of your agitation, I will not annoy you with my common-place complaints." . "You know the cause ?" gasped Penny wise. "Yes, sir; I have no wish to intrude my opinions or my knowledge, but the cause of your grief is, I imagine, of your son, and I think he is acting I oat foolishly." "You are right, Miss Dort.," asserted the old geutleman—"you are right. He is acting most foolishly—most foolishly." "Cannot you prevent it ?"asked the gov erness. "No ;I am powerless—powerless. He will - wed the tailor's daughter, and dis grace the great, the aristocratic name of Pennywise." There was a smile playing around the corners of Miss Dorr's mouth, and a sa tirical twinkle in her eye, as Mr. Penny wise spoke of his aristocratic name. "Can you not threaten to disinherit him rshe asked. "No use—no use," groahed the discon solate Peunywise ; "he has half a million left him by his mother." "A half a million !" cried Amy, and the smile and twinkle faded away leayiug her face stern and calculating looking.— ".Mr. Pennywise, thiN marriage would be scandalous. Listen ; I know Miss Petersham very well, in fact she considers me her intimate friend—" "11.1 y son's wife the intimate friend of a governess," sighed Pennywise regard less of the feelings of the girl before him. "Yes," replied Amy, not heeding the insult ; "but she is only a tailor's daugh ter." "Alas I alas! too true, too true," said the unfortunate Pennvwise. • "Mr. Pennywise," continued Amy,"you are rich, very rich, and I am poor.— You regard this marriage as a disgrace to your family. I think I can prevent it.— What will you give me if I do?" "My ,dear Miss Dorr,"cried old Penny wise, jumping up from his chair, "if you can prevent my son from marrying that tailor's daughter I. Al bestow upon you ten thousand dollars. ' "'Tis a bargain," said the governess, "Please write a little agreement to this effect : That as soon as I • give you proof ghat Miss Petersham is married to some one else than your ion you vgl pay me the sum of ten thousand ,40Pare " Married to some one else than my son !" said Pennywise, as .he was writing the agreement. "Yes," answered Amy, "that is my meanin?,l will make her marry a young • - erk c • \ I he II eiye ; tele; . I ; Ave t *Ai WAYNESBORO', FRANSLIN,p i UNTY, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 1874. man I have. in:rny mind now." "But my son will not permit it he is fascinated by this dailor's daughter. " "I will see that be permits it," the gov erness said, taking the agreement .Mr. - Pennywise-had-drawn-up-and _signed.— "MY duty is to prevent the marriage of Miss Petersham.' "Yes," said the old man, " do that and I will bless you ;" and the interview end- For the wee : mime. to e y the evening the foregoing conversation took place, Miss Amy, very much to their delight, absented herself entirely from het pupils; and she might have been seen any afternoon walking arm in arm with the lovely'Miss Petersham. During the walks, somehow, Mr. Char ley Gushington invariably met the two ladies_andjomed—them_m_their_wal nor did he seem to regard the meetings as at all unexpected. The fact was that the wily governess had introduced Mr. Gush ington to Miss Petersham, and was un known to them fanning the flame that they declared was consuming both their young hearts. Three weeks had passed since the night Miss Amy had agreed to prevent the mar riage of young Pennywise vijkh Miss Pe tersham- when one morning OE governess presented herself to the clerk in the of!' Tice of Mr. Pennywise, and asked to see th-' — dam— She -,shered—into that gentlernan. —.ge — was — ushered—int a private office where she found the aris• tocratic Pennywise very much surprised at his visitor. "To what good fortune am I indebted for this visit ?" he asked, wheeling around from his desk. "To the best fortune," answered the governess. " Please read this advertise ment that lam going to insert in to-mor row morning's papers," and she banded him a slip of paper on which he read the following : GUSHINGTON—PErEnsam — On • the 17th inst., at Grace church, by the Rev. Jeremiah Waller, D. D., S. T. D., Mr. Charles Gushington to Miss Emeline, el dest daughter of Jacob Petersham, Esq., all of this city. No cards. "My dear Miss Dorr," said Pennywise, jumping up from his chair, " you have saved the family—you have done won ders—l owe you a debt of gratitude I can never pay. "Well, here is a debt you owe me you can pay," said Amy, producing the agree ment. "I will thank you for ten thousand dollars in greenbacks. I don't want a check I went the money." "My, dear Miss Dorr," said the banker, "if it took in) last,dollar I would not re pudiate your claim. And, drawing a check for the amount, he called a messenger, and bade him go to the bank and get ten thousand dollar notes After the messenger had departed on his errand, Pennywise turned to the gov erness and said: "How did my son bear the news that Miss Petersham was folse to him? Thank tver, my family will not he disgraced." "When he first discovered that Miss P., was receiving attentions from Mr. Gush ington he threatened to commit suicide; but I finally induced him to listen to rea son, and he attended the ceremony last night." "But how did you effect this alteration in him ? You are a witch or I should say a good fairy. How did you do it?" "Will the boy be long at the back?" asked the governess. "No, he is here now. I sea you want your money before lon give your informa tion; quite right. Well there it is," and he handed her the money. Miss Amy walked to the other end of the room and , placed the money safely in her bosom. Then turning to• Mr. Pennywise she said : "Mr. Pennywise, you asked me bow I obtained your son's consent to the mar riage between Mr. Gushington and Miss Petersham." "And saved my son from an alliance to a woman socially beneath him," interrupt ed Mr. Peunywise. "You marvel among women; ill you tell me?" "I will." • • "How did you do it ?" "I married him myself. Good morning, POWER OF MEMORY. -A little negro girl living in a distant city has a truly wonderful memory. It is said that a gen tleman who had read' aloud in her pres ence accidentally heard her repeat word for word what he had read from the paper, though twenty-four hours had intervened. After this he tested.her memory frequently and has found it capable of repeating thirty or forty lines from a book after hearing it read over once. Her intellect in other respects does not seem at all above, if equal to, the average. Such instances of memory are not very , unusual. Mary Somerville tells of an idiot in Edinburg who never failed to repeat the sermon,word for word, after attending the kirk each Sunday, saying : "Here the minister coughed ;" "Here he drank some water," &c. She also tells of another whom she met in the Highlands, who knew the 13% hie' so, perfectly that if he was asked where such a verse was to be found, he told without hesitation, and repeated the chapter. We reme mber, also, to have read a year or two ago an account of a man in New York who could read one side of the "New York Herald,"and then repeat it, word for word, advertisements and all. To PURIFY CIDER.—A few slices of the red beet, put in : s \ barrel of musty ci• der, will deprive it of its disagreeable taste and smell, as w • = prevent it from becoming vapid 1 id. The fall season is here. LABOR: IN ODE. BY G. W.. 8. Toil swings the axe, and forests'bow ; The seeds break out in radiant bloom, Rich harvests smile behind the plow, And cities cluster round the loom, Where towering domes and tapering spires Adorn the vale and crown the hill, out_Laborlights its beacon fires,. And plumes with.smoke the forge and mill. The monarch oak, the woodland's pride, Whose trunk is seamed with lightning scars Toil launches on the restless tide, And there unrolls the flag of stars; The engine with its lung of flame, And ribs of brass and joints of steel, From Labor's plastic fingers came, With sobbing valve and whirling wheel 'Tie labor works the magic press, And turns the crank in hives of toil, And becons angels down to bless Industrious hands on sea and soil. Here sun-browned toil, with shining spade Links lake to lake with silver ties, Strung thick with palaces of trade, And temples towering to the skies. A Vivid Description. The-following,-says the St._louis Re publican, is an extract from a letter writ ten by Mrs. S. D. Barrett, formerly of Cambridge, Illinois, but now residing in Nemaha county, Kansas. Her home is in the track of the northern column of the devastating grasshoppers and we presume her vivid description of the scene will give our readers a clearer idea of the magni tude of the pest than they have hitherto been able to form : 'lt looks very sad and dreary to me to day. The sun is quite hidden by the clouds of grasshoppers flying all around and a lighting on everything. They are pelting against my doors and windows as fast as hailstones ever came. I can scarcely see through my screen door for them, and to look out as far as eye can see,it looks like a snow storm; as they fly their wings look white flakes of snow in the air. They de stroy everything they alight on. [hey have destroyed acres and acres of corn, and now they are going in our cornfield by clouds,and will destroy it all in a day. Every shrub and tree is covered with them. You know we have read of Phar aoh's plague, where the insects got into the kneading troughs. I think this is one of them. I went out by the door to try and drive them oftland they flew all over me and I had to change my dress to get rid of them. Instead of rain we are hav ing showers of grasshoppers. Our six windows are completely covered with them and as I write,they are pouring down the chimney and coming down the stovepipe. 'Father has just come in. He cannot work out doors for they blind him; and they are coining faster, and are now eat ing the netting off my doors and windows, and the heat and close air are stifling.— I never saw anything so terrible in my life. The ground is now completely cov ered and they cause such an offensive smell that but for an occasional breeze to carry it off, I know not what we should do. Please excuse mistakes, as I feel so bad and nervous under this awful scourge and desolation.' Josh Billings in Good English. Time is money and many people pay their debts with it. Iknorance is the wet nurse of prejudice. Half the discomfort of life is the result of getting tired of ourselves. Benevolence is the dream on the milk of human kindness. People of good sense are those whose opinions agree with ours. Style is everything for a sinner, and a little of it will not hurt a saint. Men nowadays are divided into slow Christians and wide-awake sinners. There are people who expect to escape hell because of the crowd going there. Most people are like eggs— too full of themselves to hold anything else. A. mule is a bad pun on a horse. - Health is a limn at call. Necessity is the mother of invention, but Patent Right is the father of it. Beware of the man with half-shut eyes. He's not dreaming. Man was built after all other things had been made and pronounced good.— If not, he would have insisted on giving his orders as to the rest of the job. Mice fatten slowly in a church. They can't live on religion any more than min isters can. OYSTERS EIGHTY YEARS OLD—The Portland Press says : 'Mr. G. W. Burn ham, of Libby's Corner, who has been en gaged in dredging Fore River to widen the chanuel,bas found a large bed of oys ters shells about three or four feet under the bed of the river. The shells are of a very large size, some of them being eight inches long and four or five wide. The marks upon them show the oysters to have been eighty years . old at the time 'they died. ' The layers-of earth upon the bed show that it must have existed in its prime about five hundred years ago.— From the size of its bed it must have been as large as the. large beds in the South are to-day. Hot lemonade is one of the best rem edies in the world for a cold. One lemon squeeled, cut; in slices, put with sugar, and covered with half a pint of boiling water. Drink just before going to bed,, and do not expose yourself the fol lowing day. This remedy will ward oir an attack of chills and icyer if used properly. A Traveler's. Revenge. An amusing incident occurred the oth er day on one of the trains from Boston to this city. The cars were very crowded. An elegantly dressed woman occupied an entire seat. Her bundles, band box and bag, were piled artistically.- She was ob livious to the fact that passengers were rushing back and forth to obtain sittings. More Am> one gentleman paused before the imperkous dame and silently plead -for-the-vacant-spbt.--She-fanned_herself_ leisurely, looked in the seat, and evident ly thought that things were very comfort able as they were. 'ls that seat occupied, madam?' said a well dressed gentleman, very politely. 'Yes it is,' was the snap pish reply. The man walked on. In half an hour the door opened and in walk ed a tall, rough fellow, coarse as a polar -polar-bear.—His-huge-beard-ivas-un-- combed and stained with tobacco juice. "His clothes were illy put on and smelt of the stable. He was ungloved, and braw ny, and weighed 200. He ran his eye along the car, and caught sight of the 1 seat on which our lady was sitting. He made for it. With great deliberation he seized bundle. bandbox, and bag, put them plump into the lap of the lady, and sat down in the vacant spot like oue_who_ intended to stay. If looks could have annihilated a man, there would have been a collapse in the car about that time., The man seemed v( ry much at home. .He whistled; he spit; he stroked his beard; he threw around his huge arms, and chuckled inwardly at the evi dent rage of the woman. She left the cars at New Haven, and had hardly gone before the gentleman who was refused the seat reappeared. To some gentlemen who seemed to take a great interest in the proceeding, he said: "Did you see how that woman treated me?" "Yes." "Did you see how she was come up with?" "Yes." "Well, that man is a horse doc tor that sat down by her. He belongs to Bull's Head. I gave , him a dollar to ride with that woman as far as she went." The car roared. Taking Things Without Asking. • Wheal was a boy, I was playing out in the street one winter's day, catching rides oil sleighs, and it was great fun. Boys would rather catch rides an, day than go out regularly and properly to take a drive. As I was catching on to one sleigh and another, sometimes having a nice time, and oft times getting a cut from a big black whip, I at last fastened like a barnacle to the side of a country man's cutter. An old gentleman sat alone oz. the seat, and he looked at me rather benignantly, as I thought, and neither said anything to me nor swung his old whip over me;' so I ventured to climb up on the side of his cutter. Another benignant look from the countryman, but not a word. Embolden ed by his supposed goodness, I ventured into the cutter and took a seat under his warm buffalo-robe beside him, and then he spoke. The colloquy was as follows: "Young man, do you like . to ride?" "Yes; rir." • "Do you own a cutter, young man ?" "No, sir." "It's a pretty nice cutter, isn't it ?" "Yes, sir, it is, and a nice horse drawing it." "Did I ask you•to get in ?" "No, sir." "Well, then, why did you get in ?" "Well,sir, I—l thought you looked good and kind, and that you would not object." " And so, young man, because you thought I was good and kind, you took advantage of that kinddess, and took a favor without asking for it ?" "Yes, sir." "Is that ride worth having?" "Yes, sir." "Well, now, young man, I want tell you two things : You should never take a mean 'advantage of kindness of others ; and what is worth having is worth asking for : I shall tumble you out into that snow drift without asking you." And out I went, like a shot off a shov el, and he didn't make much fnss about either. I picked myself up in a slightly bewildered state, but I never 'forgot that lesson. Industry prolongs life. It cannot con quer death, but can defer his hour, and spreads over the interval a thousand enjoy ments that makes it pleasure to live.— As rust and decay rapidly consume the machine that is not in use, so disease and sickness accumulate on the frame of indo lence, until existence becomes a burden, and the grave a bed of rest. Industry is the friend of virtue, and infloience the handmaid of vice. The active are sel dom criminal ; but the most of those who ,yield to guilty enticements, might date their lapse from rectitude to habits of idle ness, which leaving the heart vacant,gave full opportunity for the evil passions to exert their power. Faarr STEALrrna.—People who are troubled with havihg their fruit stolen should know that the law provides an ef fective remedy for such offences. It im poses a fine of not less than $5 nor more 8100 upon every person who shall Fitful ly enter any orchard or garden, and club or otherwise injure any fruit trees,or shall tramp upon or break down grass, grain, vegetables or vines of any kind. The stealing of fruit is declared a misdemean or, and any person convicted shall be fined not exceeding $5O, and be iroFis oned not more than sixty days. The same penalty is declared against the steal ing or removal of vegetables, plants, or ornamental trees and shrubbery. A Minnesotian has made a drink from ground up grasshoppers, a half-pint of which makes a man hopping drunk. It is much cheaper than coy •whiskey. [Correspondence of the Village Record.] ORRSTOWN CAMPMEETING. The camp ground of the United Breth ren church of Franklin county, Pa. is sit uated about 7 miles Mirth of Chambers burg and 3 South of Orrstown. A few years ago, twenty acres of timber land, one-fourth acre less,.were contracted for at one hundred dollars per acre for camp meeting purposes. At the campmeetiug held last ear seem*, was obtained for the full amount of money and the ground dedicated for church purposes for ever.' The ground is well set with white oak, black oak, hickory and other kinds of trees, and is found upon an" elevated part of country with smooth and mostly level roads, the land in quality inclining to slate. _Theinbabi `Which side of the street do you liveon, Mrs. Sipple?' asked a counsel,cross-exarn ining a witness. 'On either side, sir. If ye go one way it's on ,the right; if ye go the other_way_it's on the left. of this section of coon- I Arrs--- try yet maintain more of the old Pennsy.l - traits of character than they do in the Southern portion of Franklin county, owing probably to the influence of old Mennonites, who are said to reside here in considerable numbers. The plainnws of dress seen among the people will read ily lead the traveller to believe this state• went correct. -- There is something striking, especially in these days, in the appearance of a group of plainly dressed little girls seated in the congregation. Their wear is nearly all of the same shade, varying from drab to brown or some other simple color.— The goods are of very substantial texture, and it is easily seen that it is not because they could not afford anything better,that they do not have more style about them; but it is inferred that it is believed that the relation between the outward and the inward is always closely connected and it is not likely that a person who is humble inwardly will consult the world about his wear outwardly. Campmeeting commenced on the after noon of the 20th and closed at about mid night on the 27th. There were 78 tents ou the ground,; about three-fourths of which were put up of rough white pine boards and the balance of sheeting. For the use of the campmeeting 28,000 feet of white pine boards were brought some distance above Harrisburg at a price that no loss would be incurred by selling them after the campmeeting is over, are put up and rented to' all per sons who do not wish to put any up them selves. The amount paid for the use of one tent is said to be from $3,50 to $4,00. Close of the campmeeting. It is now past 10 o'clock in the evening and the Presiding Elder gives notice that the meeting will soon be brought to a close. The 14 Chapter of the Ist Epistle of Pe ter is selected and read. This part of the ceremonies being concluded, he names brother H. who will pass out to the left and the brethren will file after. Sister M. will pass out to the right and the sis ters will file after. The brethren on the left and th 3 sisters on the right move on till they meet at the head of the ground. The Presiding Elder now passes out to the right and gives .notice for all of the clergy to follow. He commences shaking hands with the sisters and the others follow. After the last preacher has shaken hands with the first sister,she follows after and shakes hands with the sisters and they slowly pass off the ground upon which they stood. In this way every preacher and every brother and sister sbakeshands with every preacher and every brother and sister. Singing was kept up on the side of the brethren, while weeping was most heard on the side of the sisters. All large meetings seem to have a ten dency to concentrate power. There are persons who will meet who have not met for years and there , are those who will part never to meet again on a similar oc casion. By the preachers, the campmeet ing was considered a success., One of them took occasion to explain from the stand that he was so; glad , that they still weie in pcssession of the old kind religion a nd what he more especially rejoiced in was that they have not got to be too very nice and refined to say glory. B. The following story is told by the New Bedford (Mass.) Mercury : "Not many. years ago, a physician -who lives not a thousand miles off, was summoned in haste to attend a patient at Naushon. On arriv ed at the island and inquiring for a con veyance to the house he wished to visit, he was directed to a fatin-house 'near by.— Here the doctor found a man, whom he re qumted to harness a horse, at the same time, in the interest of his patient, desiring him to be lively. The man pleasantly and promptly complied,harnessed the team and was speedily driving over the road at a good rate. The doctor en route discussed farming, and was struck with the gen eral information and conversational pow ers of his driver. On arriving at the house a half-dollar was tendered to the man but was gratefully declined. "What is the name of your intelligent farmer?' said the doctor, after he bad finished his profes sional visit. 'What, the gentleman that brought you to the house ? That was Presi dent Elliot, of Cambridge.' After seven years incarceration in the State prison of Wrsconsin, a man has been pardoned out on the ground that he never committed the murder for which he was sentenced. This may seem strange, to many ; but the conviction of innocent men is not so rare as most people imagitie One of the officers of the Eastern . Peni tentiary of this State, is authority for the assertion that the statistics of that institu tion show that three per cent.• of its in mates were innocent when convicted and sentenced. • 'Why do white fibesio eat more than black ones?' Becatise there.are . more of them.' AUGUST 27, 1874. hen a well known Omaha•tliie`f meets a policeman and hands him $5 it id the du ty of the officer to go and sit down in an ail henest-hour— nothing but the $5. • —A-new-game_called_tmermie is announced. Three persons play for a can of oysters. -The first man out gets the oysters, the last man out gets the oys ter can, and the `mindle man' don't get cy!hing. / 4. Brooklyn girl has just ,rejectedsi suitor because his arm wasn't loug enough to go around her. She says if she's going to_ have a lover at all she means to have a good one. When rain falls, does it ever get up?— Of course it does—in dew time. Where are two heads better than one? In a bar rel. The newspaper editor who knows every thing,.. and only publish that which ought to be known, has never yet beeii found. The man or woman who 'ever reads a paper in which they do not find something to condemn, is too amiable for this beautiful world. An old lady in Massachusetts being in formed that a dam above the village where she lived was likely to give away,imwedi ately wished for a pair of clean white stockings, saying in explanation that she once saw a woman struggling in water, and that she floated along feet upward. On Saturday a confidence man ap: proached a stranger in Ncw York,address• ing him as Mr. IYardell. 'My name is not Wardell,' s Lid the E t anger. 'la it possible lam mistaken ? Are you not Mr. War dell of New Haven ?"I am not,' [tuner; ed the stranger; am Tom Conine' A sharp student was called up-by th e worthy professer of a celebrated college, and asked the question, " Can a man see without eyes ?"" Yes, sir" was the prompt answer. "How, sir" cried the amazed professer, " can a man see without eyes ? pray, sir, how can you make that:out?' "He can see with one, sir, " replied the ready witted youth, and th whole class shouted with delight at the triumrh ever metaphysics. ' `John' says: I meta man in California who would tell me's story: He said : knew a fellow.litthe States once,.old Bill Smith; he wa . Atii3:worst old beat von ever saw. He'd 0* mosquito eight. miles with a pair itletn tin squeezers if he thought he could &it one cent for the oil. He got married mil tick . and bas been sleeping ever since. He Was i3O mean that once when he had a cent in his pocket, to. keep his wife from getting it, he-made his oldest boy sWallow it., and the boy was a copperhead .all through the war. Bill was going down the Mississippi on a steam boat. When the collection was being taken up, he got on the guard to.bide,and fell overboard. 'The water was a hundred feet deep and two miles wide,aud the best water to drown a man in I ever saw. Bill couldn't swim a stroke, but stranger, he got out." 'How?' 'He just took and walked straight a shore.' . - 'Hew could he walk ashore in water a hundred feet deep?' 'Stranger:do you want to know very bad?" • 'Yes, real bad.' .'Well, stranger, that Bill Smith was such a. big spunge he just soaked all the water up and then walked right ashore.'. GRANT.-A: newspaper man lately in terviewed Gen. Hiliver, and asked him what he thought of Oen. Grant.- "I nev er thought much of hini,"said Hillyer, "until at the battle of Fort Donelson,- where he came up late, after Lew Wal lace had been demoralized, and he asked me if there were any prisoners. Taking_ a prisoner, he examined his haversack; and finding several days' rations- there,he' said, "Just as I thought they are endeav oring to escape." He 'then Ordered the attack at that part of the fort where the' 'rebels were the - weakest, and they gave up after being worsted and summoned be fore a:s Lult. The to of looking-at. the rations struck me as acute."' 'Now gentlemen,' said a peripatetielec turer to a somewhat noisy crowd that had , gathered to one of their scenes in au eas-. tern village, 'how would you like a good blackguard story? All in Myer Will raise their hands.' Nine-tenths 'of the dexter paws present instantly went up and there was a sudden hush of all noisy demonstra-, The lecturer went on pith his o riginal subject far a few minutes 'when same incautious individual brokeotitWith, - 'Say, where's that story?' 'BleSs you,' was the reply, 'I did not intend to tell any such story. I only wanted to kuow many blackguards were' present.' You might have heard a pitu drop any -time. during the lecture after that. .„ hark county, Ind.;-pay . )); his boy ten ceniiseio ta . artLfor'potato.bail4and the boy eays.:that:sfne:At year , lass , gasai as this he'ean buy Ale 'old mita 0x... $2,00 PER YEAR. NUMBER 12. Wit stud lanmor. If the enemy wrong the; buy each of his children a drum. o get things out of a child's head— comb