BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 27.
"TEE VILLAGE RECORD,"
PIIRLIEIRED EVERY THWIRDAY MORNING
By W. BLAIR.
TEEMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
ADVERTISEMENTS—One Square (10
lines) three insertions, $1,50 ; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
five Cents per Square. A liberal
discount made to yearly adver
tisers.
LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents pel
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subseauent insertions
,;$ elect pottrn.
TDB PUB OF ROY.
''Scatter the gems of the beautiful!
By - the - wayside let them-fall,
That the rose may spring by the cottage gate
And the vine on the garden wall ;
Cover the rough and rude of earth
With a Veil of leaves and flowers,
And mark with the opening bud and cup
The march of Summer's hours.
--Scatter-thajems-ofthe-beauttful—
In the holy shrine of home!
Letth , lpure,the fair,and the gracious there,
In the loveliest lustre come ;
Love not a trace of deformity
In the temple of the heart,
But , gather about the earth its germs
Of nature anti of art..
Scatter the gems of the beautiful
In the temple of our God—
The God who starreth the uplifted sky,
And flowered the trampled sod;
When he built a temple for Himself,
And a home for His priestly race,
He raised each arm in symmetry
And curved each line in grace.
scatter the gems of the beautiful
In the depths of the human soul ;
They bud and blossom, and bear the fruit,
While the endless ages roll,
Plant with the flowers of charity
The portals of the tomb,
And the fair and pure about His path
In Paradise shall bloom."
Slisttilautous I,leading.
THE DIAMOND BREAST PIN.
"It will cost two hundred dollars, An-
na I" said George Blakeley to 'his young,
proud and extravagant wife. The tone
in which he said this, showed that her re
quest had started him.
"I - know it will, but what are two hun
dred dollars for a diamond pin ?" Mrs.
Blakely's remark was half contempuous.
"Mrs. Harry Edgar's diamonds cost over
one thousand dollars.
"Just one thousand more than her hus
band could afford to pay for them," said
Mr. Blakely.
"He's the best judge of that, I pre
sume," retorted his wife.
"But what does that signify. You can
not, Anna."
"What do you do with your money,
pray ?"
The young wife turned sharply upon
her husband and her words and tone stung
him into rather a harsh reply. But this
only aroused her anger and made her the
more unreasonable and persistent.
"0 very well," said her too yielding
husband at last, "go to Canfield's to-mor
row and get the pin. Tell him to send in
the account on the first of January and
it will be paid .
Mrs. Blakely was in earnest. There
was not one of her fashionable acquaint
ances but had a diamond ring or breast
pin, and until the owner of one or both,
she could not hold up her head in society.
Her husband was a receiving. teller in
a bank, at a salary of fifteen hundred
dollars per annum, when he married,
which was about a year before, and he
still occupied the same post with the
same income as before. For a young
man in his position he had not married
wisely. The handsome face and captiva
ting manners of a dashing belle bewilder
ed his fancy. He proposed in haste, was
prOmptly accepted, and led to the marri
age altar, not a true wife, but a weak, ca
pricious creature, incapable of genuine
love, and too selfish and narrow-minded
to feel the influence of honorable princi
ple.
An extravagant lore for, dress and or
nament characterized her from the begin
ning, and she would hearken to none of
her husband's gently offered remonstranc
es. Nearly half his income she spent, in
dress and ornaments.
The demand for a two hundred dollar
breast pin, corn* upon young Blakely,
as it did, at • a time when he bad just made
the unpleasant discovery of a deficit in
his income, when compared with his ex
penses, of several hundrel dollars, sadly
disheartened him. But be was not brave
enough to meet the exigency, and, there
re, weakly yielded to a demand that
6hould have been wet with an unflinching
refusal.
The first_of -Jaanary—found--Blakely
short of funds by considerable more than
the price to he paid" for the diamond pin.
Canfield's bill came in and must be set
tled. It would taut do fur him to hack in
the matter of payment, for the jeweler
vas an acquaintance of more than one of
the directors of the bank, will questions
might be asked, and inferences drawn
prejudicial to his standing.
In an evil hour, under distress of mind
and strong temptation, the young man
made a false entry which enabled him to
abstract two hundred dollars from the
funds of the bank.
This was only the beginning of a series
of defalcations, which rau through, many
years before the exposure came which is
sure to follow such a crime. It was easi
er now to supply. the extravagant de
mands of his wife, whose annual ward
robe and jewelry, for which she had the
passion which is characteristic of a weak
mind, almost reached the full amount of
his salary. tt
But the end came at last. One morn
ing seven years from the day of the mar
riage, Mr. and Mrs. Blakely were about
leaving for the opera, when the bell was
wrung violently. Mr. Blakely started
and turned pale.
"What's the matter ?" asked his wife,
who saw the singular change in counten
ance.
Mr. Blakely did not answer, but stood
listening at the door. Men's voices were
now beard, and the heavy tread of feet
along the passage. There was a start, a
hurried movement by Blakely; then he
- stood still as riveted to the spot.
"Who are they ? and what is the mean
ing of this?" asked Mrs.Blakely in alarm.
At the same moment two men entered
the room.
"You are arrested," said one of them,
"on charge of defalc:atiou."
Mrs. Blakely shieked, 'but her. husband
.ztoo&stilLami_statue-like, his face of au
ashen hue.
"George, George 1 This is false," said
k r rs. : a ey, recovering herself. "You
certainly would not stoop low enough to
commit crime!" -
"It is true," he answered in - a - low and
despairing voice. Then laying one of his
fingers on the diamond pin that glittered
on her boson, he added, speaking to her
privately :
"You gained that at the price of your
husband's dishonor You demanded it.
I remonstrated, and said I could not af
ford so costly, an ornament. You repeat
ed your demand, and I, weak fool that I
was, permitted the contraction of a debt
that could only be cancelled by dishonest
means. I thought when I married you,
that I had obtained a wife whose virtues
might help me upwards towards Heaven,
but you have proved a tempting fiend,
dragging me nearer and nearer the brink
of destruction, over which I know fall to
hopeless ruin.
Then turning to 'the officers he said in
a calm voice—
"l sin at your service."
The words of her husband had stunned
Mrs. Blakely. She never saw him after
wards. That night he passed to a higher
tribunal than an earthly one, and she was
left in poverty and disgrace.
The story is one of every day life.—
George Blakely is the representative of a
class. Not all them rob banks, or defraud
their employers. But all of them do sup
port idle, extravagant wives in costly es
tablishments—costly in comparison with
their means—spend more than their earn•
ings or profit, and fail in the end to pay
their obligations, and thus become dis
graced.
A modern young lady, fashionably edu
cated, and with modern notions of style,
fashion and modern equipments is alto
gether too costly au article for a young
man of small means or a moderate sal
ary.
Diamond pins, rich silks. and laceq,rose
wood furniture, six, seven; eight or nine
hundred dollar houses, operas, bells, fash
ionable parties, Saratoga and Newi)ort,
and success in business are altogether net
of the question.
If young men would unite in matrimo
ny, they must look into another circle for
wives.
A girl who is independent enough to
earn her own living as a teacher or with
the needle, is a wife worth a score of the
butterflies of fashion, and a rising young:
man, who has only his industry to rest
upon his success in life, is a fool to marry
any one. Useful industry is always hon
orable, and difference of sex makes no
difference, in this particular.
FIRST PLEASURES.-Trilly, novelty is
the spice of life. No secondary sensations
are like the primaries; and habit, in the
end, 'Wales every luxury." Repetition
is the thief of employment, as, surely as
procrastinationis the thief of time. It is
with pleasu' e as with sparkling wines ;
you can have the flashing globules, the
rushing fuam, the rare bouquet, but once;
cork up for after use,and the next draught
will be flat and tasteless.
- And, Oh ! middle-aged reader, do you
remember the pride with which you wore
your first watch ? It, was a cheap affair,
always at odds with the correct time, and
the golden hunting-case that now rests in
your pocket is of the finest workmanship,
richly jeweled. But what, a contrast be
tween the indifference of to-day and the
exultation of boyhood marks the exhibi
tion of your respective treasureq. The
full beard which graces your maturity
fails now utterly to excite the admiration
and emotional anxiety with which you
first regarded the incipient moustache of
twenty years ago ; and which was proba
bly contemporaneous with your first love.
Ah ! that first love ; do you not recall,
with a smile now, as Jack clambers up
your knee, those thrilling moments? Of
course you do ; the tide of passion may
singed and swayed you many times since,
but your memory still retaius an ineffaca
able impression of that first, bliss.
Leisure is sweet to these who have earn
ed it, but burdensante to ths who get it
for nothing.
Camp-meetings
A FAMILY NEWSPAPER-DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC.
WAYNESBORO', FRANIMIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 27, 1874.
Nathan Rothschild of London.
The high-priest of the exchange was
not happy even in the midst of his over
sowing coffers. Naturally enough, he
had few friends and numberless enemies.
In his later years he suffered from con
stant dread of assassination. He was al
ways receiving threatening letters, declar
ing that his life depended on his sending
certain sums of money to certain addresses.
He scented murder in every breeze, sus
pected poison in every oup. In sleep, he
had nightmare visions of crouching things,
iu waking hours, he started at every, un
expected noise.
OLe morning two strangers were an
nounced as having important business
with the banker,and they were shown into
his private office. He bowed to them and
inquired the nature of their negotiation.
They bowed and said nothing, but ad
vanced toward him, thrusting their fingers
nervously into their pockets. Rothschild's
alarm was excitecl_at_once—Tbey_tnust
be searching for concealed weapons; their
bearded faces made it clear to his fright
ened fancy that they were homicidal - rid- -
flans. He retreated iu terror behind a
large desk, seized a pondrous ledger,hurled
it at their heads and screamed 'Murder l'
at the top of his voice. A small army
of clerks poured into the room, - and laid
violent hands on the strangers who proved
to he wealthy Polish bankers bringing
letters of introduction to the (physically
timid) lion of loans. Embarrassed by his
aurifereusly august presence— what, is
there in a breathing money-bag capable
of inspiring awe?—they forgot their speech
and their common coolness of conduct.—
They were nearly as much terrified as the
renowned Isrealite; and as it was their
initial visit to England, they imagined at
first that all foreigners were deemed rob
bers and desperadoes until the contrary
was established.
The wretchedly rich Nathan never
went out alone after dark, never entered
an unlighted room, had servants within
call of his bed-chamber and slept with
loaded pistols under his pillow.
'A fellow-Frankforter, wining with him
one evening, and observing the luxury of
his household, remarked,. 'You must be
happy, baron, with the power to gratify
every wish.'
`Happy, indeed was the response.—
`Do you think it happiness to be haunted
always by a dread. of murder—to have
your appetite for breakfast sharpened by
a threat to stab you to the heart unless
you inclose a thousand guineas to some
unknoWn villian?'
On one occasion, when the great finan
cier had been to an evening party, and
had gotten into his carriage to go home,
a friend, wishing to make an appointment,
stepped out to speak to him. The timor
ous banker mistook hie familiar friend for
a highwayman, and thrust a pistol out of
the carriage window,with his favorite cry
of 'murder l' before he could be acquaint
ed with the situation.
As Rothschild grew richer and older
his fears increased. He became almost a
monomaniac on the subject of assassina
tion, and' many of his relatives thought
hint in serious danger of insanity through
his constant apprehensions. Most of the
menacing messages were unquestionably
sent him by his enemies, with whom he
was plentifully supplied. Conscious of
his weakness, they revenged themselves
upon him by inspiring him with baseless
terrors. lie was repeatedly told so, hut
he could not be induced to believe that
he did not dwell in an atmosphere of poi
sons, poniards and pistols.
The Bliss of Marriage
Time whirls us along the downhill
path of life with the velocity of a locomo
tive, but we have one comfort—we can
make love on the road. What the negro
preacher said of Satan may be said of
love: 'Where be finds'a weaker place,
dere he ,creeps in.' There - is a warm cor
ner even in the coldest heart; and some
body,if that somebody Can only be found,
was made expressly to fill it. Thousands
of both sexes live and die 'unmarried sim
ply for want of a prbper introduction to
one another. What an absurdity I There
is -not a woman nor a man of any age who
might not find a suitable partner by us
ing the proper means. The fact is, that
affection is . smothered, choked down, sub
dued and paralyzed by the forms and
conventionalities of this etiquettish world.
'Society' attaches a ball and chain to the
natural feelings of the heart. The fair
girl with her bosom running over with
the purest love for a worthy object must
take as much pains to conceal the fact as
if it were a deadly sin, and Heaven had
not implanted within our bosoms the ten
der spark and bade us 'to love and be
loved.' Is this natural? No, it is artifi
cial. Why should innumerable marriages
be prevented by chilling rules and penal
ties? Nature is modest, but she is not a
starched up prude! Look at the birds.
There are no old bachelors and old maids
among them. The hearts that flutter un
der their feather jackets fellow the instinct
of love, and they take to billing and core:
fug without the slightest idea that court,
ship should be a formal affair. Why
should there be forlorn bachelors and dis
appointed old maids, and lonely widows
and widowers among the unfeathered:
bipeds? Oceans of happiness are lost to,
both sexes every year, simply because
parties who wish to be married and are
not permitted by etiquette to make the
fact known. These unfortunates might
very properly say to the happy married
folks, as the frogs said to the boys who
pelted them with stones—" This may he
fun to you, but it is death to us."—.W. Y.
Hebrew Leader.
If a man has a great idea of himseltit is
apt to be the ouly great idea he'll ever
have.
PEACE BI UNTO THIS HOUR
The fragrance of tbat wonderons life,
Floats softly down the years,
Sweet now, as when so long ago,
Christ walked this "vale of tears."
And now as then, to burdened souls
He gives divine release
From-bend II 'Tr
"Unto this house be peace."
His peace not as the world He gives,
But peace, abiding, free ;
And like the river, broad and full,
And like the unfathomed sea.
Home grows more sacred, as we think
How in that• Eastern land,
He tarried in_those humble_homes,_
And blessed in the household band.
The house was sacred, where His feet,
Had entered at the door;
And humble cot or lordly hall,
Was hallowed evermore.
At our door He stands an , knocks;
- Where He doth enter, jarring cease;
And storms are hushed, as Jesus says
• To hearts or homes, "Be peace."
A Husband's Ghost.
Mrs. Eliza Green; aged aboat thirty
years, now living in this place (Spring.
field, Ky.,) a lady of irreproachable char
acter and of decided courage, with a fair
English education, and in possession of
only .tolerable go od health, details the
following curious incidents as having oc
curred at her residence sines the death of
her husband last spring :
On the 18th of March,lB74, Mr. Green
died after a protracted illness, leaving
Mrs. Green with a family of six children,
with little means of support. A. short
time after Mr. Green's death, Mrs. Green
heard about the house after night and
sometimes in the day time, heavy breath
ings and moans resembling a person in
the agonies of death ; at one time she
heard a person in very great agony ; an
other time she heard a noise under the
house like a horse rolling and pawing vi
olently. Again she saw frequently in her
room at night after the lamp was lighted,
a shadowy figure resembling the head and
shoulders of a medium-sized man moving
around the wall next to the ceiling, and
uniformly as the shadow reached the
lamp the flame was extinguished,and this
phenomenon happened as often as four or
five times in a night. At one time when
she and her family with some visitors
were sitting quietly in the room the front
door, without any visible cause, was seen
to fly violently open and shut,and so vio
lently as to jar boxes of flowers placed in
the window out of it. At other times when
the lights were burning, footsteps were
heard by her in the room, as though a
grown person in slippers was walking
over the floor, and yet no object could be
seen. At one time she thought she heard
some person noisily approach the front
door as if about to enter. Upon opening
the door, however, no one could be seen.
Again near the steps of the back door she
thought she saw, after dark,a small white
dog,resembling one she knew in the neigh-
horhood ; that she approached it with the
view of taking it up and carrying it in
the house,but it eluded her grasp and mys•
teriously passed away. At another time
the hack door of her room seemed half
filled with a white, gauzy cloud, not re
sembling anything only a white figure,
which alarmed her, and she ran out of the
house. The apparition disappeared.
Other people, friends and relatives,have
been present on some of othese occasions,
and corroborate Mrs. Green's statements.
The most mysterious and crowning de
velopement related by her is said to have
occurred on the 30th ult.,about 11 o'clock,
A. M. She was in the cellar of the house
getting kindling wood, and in stooping
down thought she saw the lower limbs
and feet of Mr. Green standing by her,
and immediately felt the pressure- of a
cold hand upon her shoulder. She turn
ed and looked, and reports that her hus
band stood before her just as he appeared
when she saw him in his burial clothes.
When she exclaimed, "In the name of the
Lord Jesus Christ,. who redeemed me,
Dick, what do you want ?" and that he
spoke audibly to her iu his natural tone of
voice and language, telling her that the
sufferings of this life were in no way to
be compared to those of the other.world,
and that he was permitted to come back
to her to advise her of her neglect of duty
and to urge her to act otherwise. He al
so sent messages to his brother Charles
Green, Mrs. Rachael Walker,and to Miss
Edgerton, all living near. He further re
quested to have three masses said for the
repose of his soul; one on the first Satur
day in this month, and the others on the
two following Saturdays. He further in
formed her that he . would not visibly ap
pear to her again, but could have appear
ed twice more had he desired to do so,
but not to her, but to other persons nam
ed by him—his kindred. Then repeating
the word "friend" three times he vanished
from sight. Mrs. Gr en says she has heard
loud knockings on the floor, and heard
groanings, as of persons in distress, since,
but has seen nothing more.—Spriliqfreld
Kentuckian.
The rose of Florida, the most beautiful
of flowers, emits no fragrance ; the bird of
Paradise, the most beautiful of birds, giv
es no song ; the cypress of Greece , the
finest of trees, yields no fruit ; dandies, the
shinist of men, have no sense; and ball
room belles, the lovelest creatures in the
world, are often equally deficient.
Snspiciion is the corn panion of mean
-souls,-and the bane of all good society.
Cruelty is the result of baseness and of
c owardice. '
The Mennonites
The New York Herald is speaking of
the six hundred Mennonites, just arrived
from Russia, says : 'lf these are a fair
sample of those who are to follow we may
expect the great body of emigrant Men
nonites about to come to the United States
from Russiallo rival their brethren in
Pennsylvania and Maryland and the
FC:
or tne wt. /west, whose ancestors
came here before the Revolution. Most
readers will recall the singular historical
fact that even Franklin opposed the emi
gration of these people to the Province of
Pennsylvania,ancl yet they are to-day the
bone and sinew of that great Common
wealth. The so-called Scotch-Irish tho'
proverbially a thrifty race,had no chance
in contending with the steady industry
and ecttliomy of the German religionists,
and to-day many of the most magnificent
farms in the State are owned by the Men
nonites. One fact as significant as it is
remark - able is that such athing as pover
ty is, and has always been, unknown a- 1
mongthem. A. poor Mennonite is harder]
n• — • an a me i gam I er. e reason
of this is that they teach their children
industry and frugality as a religious duty,
and laziness and thriftlessness are, among
them, vices to be particularly avoided.—
They are not what the Yankees call in
telligent, neither' are they cute, but they
are extremely honest, eminently active in
caring for their own interests,without det
riment to those of their neighbors, and so
industrious that they not only enrich
themselves, but as they have increased in
numbers and wealth they have conferred
incalculable blessings upon the • whole
country. They do not believe in war,but
if all men were like them in developing
the natural resources of the soil by honest
toil the couhtry would soon become so
rich that nobody could afford to fight.—
They are a simple, modest, earnest, indus
trious and frugal people, and, though op
posed to war and taking no part in poli
tics, there are no better or more useful
citizens. We have had five or six gener
ations of Mennonites born in this country,
and the stock has proved so satisfactory
that we cannot but receive the new supply
with a special and hearty welcome.'
Flinging Shadows.
We have no more right to fling an un
necessary shadow over the spirit of those
with whom we have to do, than we have
to fling a stone and injure. them. Yet
this flinging shadows is a very common
sin, and one to which women are particu
larly addicted. Oh, what a blessing is a
merry, cheerful woman in a household!
One whose spirits are not effected by wet
days, or little disappointments, or whose
milk of human kindness does not sour in
the sunshine ofprosperity. Such a woman
in the darkest hours brightens the house
like a little piece of sunshiny weather.—
The magnetism of her smile,the electrical
brightness of her looks and movements,
infects every one. The children go to
school with a sense of something great to be
achieved; her husband goes into the world
in a conqueror's spirit. No matter how
people worry and annoy him all day, far
off her presence shines, and he whispers
to himself, 'At home I shall find rest.'—
So day by day she literally renews his
strength and energy, and if you know a
man with a beaming face, a kind heart
and a prosperous business, in nine cases
out of ten you will find he has a wife of
this kind. For nothing is more certain
than that the man who is married must
ask his wife for permission to be happy
and wealthy. Blessed is he who hath a,
cheerful wife; the world may be a 'valley
of strife' to him, but his home is a land of
Beulah—a heaven of rest and quiet; and
his life is made up of cheerful yesterdays
and confident to-morrows.— Golden Age.
EARLY INH.trENOES.—There can be no
greater bleeding than to be born in the
light and air of a cheerful, loving home.
It not only insures a happy childhood, if
there lie health and a good constitution ;
but it alinost makes sure a virtuous and
happy manhood, and a fresh young heart
in old age. We think it every parent's
duty to try to make their children's child
hood full of love and of childhood's prop
er joyousness; and we never see children
destitute of them through the poverty,
faulty tempers; or wrong notions of their
parents without a heartache. Not that
all the appliances which wealth can buy
are necessary to the free and happy un
folding of childhood in body, mind, or
heart; quite otherwise, God be thanked;
but children must at least have love in
side the house, and fresh air and good
play, and some good companionship out
side ; otherwise, young life runs the great
est danger in the world/of withering or
growing ataunted, or sour or strong, or at
least prematurely old and turned inward
on itself.
Ilfrxma WITH 13 , rumaanas.—The effect
of mixing with new people,who have new
methods of thought, Is very salutary. Al
ways to see the same people, do the same
thing, feel the same way, produces a stag
nant condition of the mind and heart that
is very distressing to behold. There are
thousands of invalids who might be great,
ly benefitted by getting away from home,
if only for a short time, to mix with
strangers, and be touched with the mag-
netism of the great world as it courses in
its accustomed rounds. And there are
mental and moral invalids who need the
same change,to get their minds and hearts
enlarged, and let in a little more of the
lights of life. Outside influences are very
valuable by healthful influences in early
youth, so that they can avoid the snares
and pit-falls into which those who go
blindly often fall.
OThe wheel of fortune turns inocasantly
round, and who can say within himself,
shall be uppermost
Keep Your Eyes- Open.
A one legged soldier, walking up the
Bowery yesterday, was accosted by a
clothing merchant with the usual "Sell
you •somedings to day?" Entering the
store the veteran was invited to inspect
the large stock, but having looked thro'
the array of coats and vests and trowsers,
be turned to go, saying that he saw noth-
;Vat, vat you vants?'
want a pair of one-legged panta
loons.' -
`Vos dot all? Yacob, bring me one of
dem one-legged gray pants on dot pile in
de corner.'
In a few minutes Jacob returned and
reported that the pair had been sold.
.Meanwhile the partner next door who
had been listening through the thin, par
tition had mapped out a plan of campaign
against the one-legged cripple. 'Yoho,'
he whispered to an attendant, 'cut me off
de leg of one of dem gray pants. Send
him up quick.'
By the time this had been done the
it-store
only to be inveigled into the second.—
Again he went through the inspection of
odds and ends, and again demanded one
legged trousers, intimating that he didn't
believe the trader had them.
'Not have one-legged pants ! Fodder
Moses, vat you take me for? Yohn, bring
me one of dem one-legged gray pants in
dot pile in de back ob do store.'
The newly-altered trousers • were pro
duced, and the waggish soldier l ave him
self up for lost. But as he spread thew
before him - he became conscious, as did
the dealer, of something wrong.
_
'Mein Gott! Fadder - Abrahain ! John!
you haf ruin mef, You haf cut off the
wrong leg!' -
This was probably the same dealer wha
was recently called upon by a young man
for a coat. A fit was made in due time,
and then came the haggling, about the
price. First twenty dollars was fixed,
then the clothier abated dollar after dol
lar, fighting his way inch by inch, until
at length he had offered the garment for
eight dollars.
'Do you think I'm made of money?'
asked.the young man indignantly as he
turnbd to depart.
'Say, you come pack! I sell you dot
coat of it cost me a leg. Vot you gif for
him, say now?'
give you two dollars I'
'Two dollars! Vy, de buttons is more
wort as dat. Sphlit de differance—make
it twenty shillings F
'No; I'll give you two dollars.'
Tell, take him. It vas a pooty coat.
You gif me two and a quarter, eh ?'
Producing the two dollars the young
man moved away with his purchase ; but
as be reached the door he heard the deal
er exclaim, with uplifted hands:
'Gott help me! I only make one dol
lar on dot coat I'
Another of the Chatham street dealers
had what he called army brogans and
cavalry boots. An ex-soldier purchased
a pair of the latter one rainy day, but re
turned to the store within a few minutes,
Complaining that the soles were of paist
board and bad already soaked to a pulp.
'Vot you vos done mit dem boots?' ask
ed the dealer.
'Why, I walked two or three blocks.'
'Valk ! You valk in den► boots! Vy,
'dem was gavalry boots —N. Y. Sun.
Anecdote of Alexander Hamilton.
Hamilton was once applied to for pro
fessonial assistance by a man in New
York: city, who held the guardianship of
several orphan children. These children,
then very young, would on coining Of age,
if they had their rights, succeed to the
possession of a large and valuable estate.
In the title deeds of this estate, the guar
dian bad discovered material defects, and
he thought he saw a way, with the assist
ance of an able lawyer, by which he could
secure the title of the property to himself.
He opened to Hamilton the whole deeds
and exhibited copies -off the title deeds,
and explained how he-Would like to pro
ceed. And he promised to the great jur
ist *large reward if he would undertake
the business.. Hamilton said he must give
to a matter so important sue thought be
fore he decided, and set a time for his cli
ent to call again. The guardian called
again according to appointment. Hamil
ton had put in writing faithful minutes of
their former conversation, which upon his
second visit, he read aloud.
"I think, sir," said Hamilton, when he
bad finished reading, "that is a true state
ment of plans."
"Yes, sir," answered the client. 'That
is correct. And noW if I may ask, what
have you decided 1 1 "
"I will tell you sir," replied Hamilton,
sternly ; "you are now completely in In/
power, • and I consider myself the future
guardian of these unfortunate orphans.
I have decided that you will settle with
them honorably, to the very last penny,or
I will hunt •you from the surface of the
earth 1"
It may be unnecessary to add that the
false-hearted guardian did not pursue his
nefarious scheme any further.
NEW PROBABILITIES.—When von see
a man going home at 2 o'clock y in the
morning, and know his wife is waiting
for him, it is likely to be stormy.
When a man receives a bill of goods his
wife has bought unknown to him, look out
for thunder and lightning.
When a man promises to take Ms wife
to a party and changes has mind after she
is dressed, you may expect a shower.
When a man saves his cigar money to
buy a new bonnet and the children new
shoes, it. indicates a spell of sunshine.
When a man dies and leaves i•nieer
young widow with plenty of money and
you see her walking out with the executor
bn Sunday, afternoon, a change is mil),
vent.
$2,00 PER YEAR.
NUMBER 1.0.
tit turd Sumer.
Mrs. Sheens, of India, has twenty-four
children. Twenty-four sheets make one
choir.
An lowa saloon displays a sign with
the simple but impressive words, "nose
A Buffalo woman was let off with a
fine of $3O for throwing pepper in the
eyes of another woman.
Why an a person who has run away
from his creditors be said to be a man of
integrity 1 Because he is a non eat man.
Young gentlemen who hare presents to
make, will be interested to know that alli
gators can be bought in Georgia for a dol
lar apiece.
"Who was the meekest man ?" asked a
Sunday School teacher. "Moses." "Very
well, who was the meekest woman ?" "Nev
er was any."
Composition by a little boy. &Is
ject : The I clirie=The horse is a very use
ful animal. It has four legs—one on each
corner.
The Snake Indians - are gradually be
coming converted to the Mormon faith--
The Minnesota grasshoppers will be com
ing forward for baptism next.
A darke . left in char. eof a teleraph
office while the opgato i r- went to dinner, •
heard some one "caKtfer the wires,and
began shouting at the( instrument: 22e/
operator isn't yer !" The noise ceased.
&men Liberty, of La Crosse, has thir
v
teen lovers, and ery one of them ex
claims, "Give Liberty or give me
death !" And s e's a read-headed girl at
that. k 4..../
The Western papers are full of "1 1 1 .4 71 4 \
Man with the Branded Hand," but no at
tendon is paid to the men with ?brandied"
noses, though they are ae ten thousand
to one, 44114.••••/
An Albany man who was excitedly
monstrating to a crowd . that there is nn
such thing as hydrophobia was the first
to shin up a barber's pole when a small
yellow dog came rushing down the street.
40.
The Tennessee lawyer who resorted tie
the insanity dodge in behalf of his negro
client,and expatiated at seine length upon
the absolute idiocy of the poor fellow, who
exclaimed : "You can bang me, or send
me to the penitentiary or say Pee a rascal;
but, Mister, please don't say i'se a foul a
gain.'
A youth who attende4 a Scotch rivival
meeting, for the fun of the thing ironically
inquired of the minister "whether he could
work a miracle or not ?" The young
man's curiosity was fully satisfied by-the
minister kicking him out of church, with
the maledietory, We cannot work mira
cle, but we can cast out devils F'
In a Nevada Sunday School the Tally , ,
teacher pronounced this conundrum to hei
class:Who betrayed our Saviour?' This
was too much for the little ones, and ono
after the other gave it up. The question
was repeated, when one little seven-yeat-
old answered : 'Oh ! I know ; it Was Bosa
Tweed; he's a bad men'
The candles you sold me lain
were very bad," said Swett to a. ial
chandler.
"Indeed, sir," said he, (I'm very sorry .
for that."
"Yes, sir : do you know the, burnt to
the middle, and then wouldn't burn any
longer."
"You surprise me ; what sir ? did they
go out?"
"No, sir."
"What then,"
"They burnt shorter."
Thoughts for Saturday Night.
Happiness is unrepented pleasure.
Our enemies are outward couscienWs,
The great artist is the slave of his
ideal.
Morality is but the vestibule of
relig
lon.
Purity is the feminine, truth the mas
culine of honor.
What is virtue but a inediciae i Smtviee
but a wound.
There appears to exist a gres•-ter dgre'
to live long than to live well. • •
We take greater pains to persuade
others that we are happy than in endeav
oring to think so ourselves.
Light as a gossamer is the circumstance
which can bring enjoyment to a censcienee
which is not its own accuser.
Secrecy is for the happy—misery,hope
hes misery, needs no veil ; under a thous
aad suns it dares act openly.
In every village there wilt arise a mis
creant to establish the most grinding ty
ranny by calling himself the people.
Memory is not wisdom idiots can rote
volumes ; yet what.is wisdom without
memory ? A. babe that is strangled in its
birth.
The way to conquer men is by 'the* ,
passions-; catch but the ruling foible
their hearts and all their boasted virtnvs.,
shrink before you.
The .beet of lessons, for a good many ki•T i z
people, would be to listen at. a keyhole.—
It is pity for such that the practice is
honorable.
Emulation looks out for. merit that she
may exert herself by a victory ; • envy
spies out blemishes that she_ may have _
another by a dilftzt. .
He who freely praises what -
En purchase'. and he alio entiauilt**,t)ie;
l*
fiu, - of.,w*he means to 'WV ! : `Vulay44,
up a Otitli•iiikkitwith