The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, August 06, 1874, Image 1

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„S , eitt# pottrg.
Our country,!—'tis a glorious land !
With broad arms stretched from shore to
shore ;
The prcral Pacific chafes her strand.
She hears the dark Atlantic roar;
And nurtured on her ample breast,
How many a - goodly prospect lies,
In nature's wildest:grandeur drest,
,Enamelled with her lovliest dyes.
Rich prairies, decked with flowers of gold,
.Like sunlit oceans roll afar;
Broad lakes her azure heavens behold,
• Reflecting clear each trembling star;
And mighty rivers, mountain born,
Go sweeping onward, dark and deep,
'Through forests where the bounding fawn,
Beneath their sheltering branches leap.
And, cradled 'mid her clustering hilla,
Sweet vales in dream-like,b,eauty h ;,l
Where love the air with music fills,
And calm content and peace abide ;
—For-plenty-here her fullapczs pours
In rich profusion o'er the land;
__And, sent to seize her generous store,
There prowls no tyrant's hireling band
Great God ! we thank thee for this home—
This bounteous birthland of the free,
Where wanderers from afar may come,
_ And breathe the air of liberty
Still may her flowers untrampled spring,
Her harvests wave, her cities rise ;
And yet, till Time shall fold his wing, •
Remain Earth's lovelies paradise!
Disultautous ailing.
• [Published by Request
A. correspondent in the N.' Y. Tribune
says: dike the liberty of asking for
space in your columns for the accompa
nying remarks on the general nature of
the action of alcohol on the animal system,
wtich seem to be called for by the many
erroneous ideas on that subject current in
The newspapers. And as much of whatl
have to say is opposed to common Opinion,
I may, perhaps, he pardoned for remark
ing, as a sort of voucher for such state
ments, that being the teacher of 'materia
medica and therapeutics' in one of the
medical colleges of this city, I have neces
sarily given a good deal of attention to
the study of the physiological action of
all articles used in medicine. and am 0-
bliged to keep myself carefully informed
of every advance in knowledge ou such
In the columns of your daily of March
21, the letters to the editor discussing
.Archbishop Purcell's late letter on wine
and beendrinking, contain the following
passages: '
,`A glass or two of beer" restores the
• wasted strength of man. A stimuluS `re
stores' nothing. Alcohol excites the ner
vous system, and• all artificial excitement
is followed by reaction and exhaustion.
Alcohol, in no, form, adds to the vital
forces; it subtracts from them. In sick:
ness it inlay stimulate for the time the
process of digestion, or rally temporarily
the vital forces to throw off disease, but
the best modern physiologists recognize
no nutritious element in that much abus
ed agent. If there is a nutritive element
in beer, it is so insignificant as to deserve
no consideration whatever. * -..*
The bishop would not preach that it" was
sinful for a 'day laborer to restore his ex
hausted strength by a glass or two of beer.'
Just as if that beverage ever did restore
exhausted strength. The product of the
brewery, no less than that of the still, in
its very nature, but, only physical weak
ness, as is apparent on every band among
those addicted to its use. * ' The
public mind is largely imbued with the
idea that there is some element of strength
or virtue in the various stimulants which
are swallowed with such disastrous effect
by our, people. Until this error has passed
away we shall make no permanent ad
vance. * I may here inform the
archbishop that the alcohol which the
hodmen are too fond of will not give them
strength, tin God, in his wisdom, has so
arranged the system that as soon as man,
iu his ignorance, drinks wine, beer or any
kind of liquor containing the poison alco
hol, it is ejected just as it went into the
system, without any change. This being
the case, I do not think there is any
strength to be had from alcohol.'
As no good to the temperance or any
other cause can come out of misconception
as to matters of fact, I am impelled to say
that late researches in physiological chem
istry have put the action of alcohol on the
animal system in a new light, and that
such sweeping statements as the foregoing
can no longer be received. Without go
ing into technical details, the followiug
are the main facts of the matter :
Contrary to what was lately believed,
and to the last statement quoted above, it
has been proved beyond the pessibility of
a doubt, that alcohol when drunk is not
'ejected from the system unchanged' ex
cept in trifling amount when taken in
grossly . intoxicating quantity. On the con
trary, in ordinary amounts it is wholly
consumed, transtOrmed, in the system, and
by the nature of its chemical composition
. •
is Livable, like certain elements of ordin•
ary food, of thus yielding force which can
be used by the economy to do life-work,
as the heat of the burning coal-drives the
In this fact we have a key to the effects
of alcoholic drinks on man. Thus within
certain limits of dose,alcohol is transform
ed like ordinary food in the system with
out producing any injurious effects, and
yieldinguseful force for the purposes of
the economy, must be considered as a food
in any philosophical sense of the word.—
And an. important point to know,and one
little understood, is that this food-action
is.attended with no exciting or intoxica
ting influence, but the whole effect, like
that of ordinary food, is seen in the main
tenance 'or restoration, according to cir
cumstances, of that balance of function
called health.
But if taken in greater quantities than
can be utilized as a force yielding food,
the excess of alcohol acts as a poison, in
troducing a well-known train of perturba
.tions of function. And—again a point
'generally misunderstood—all signs of de
parture from the natural condition in the
'drinker, from the first flushing of the
cheek, brightening of the eye, and unnat
ural mental excitement to the general
oaralysis of complete.drankenness, belong
iequally to the poisonous effect' of alcohol.
IThat is. for I wish strongly to insist upon
ithis point, even the early phases of alco
kolic disturbance, which are often im
broprly called 4 st:rn 1 atinrare,yartand
iparnNf ethe injurious disturbing influence
bioverdosing, and must be put in the
' 'ame category with the more obviously
iolsonaus-effects-of-pronoun ced_ in toxica
Aliohol has thus a twotbld action :
Fir t, it is capable, in proper doses, of be
ing' consumed and utilized as a forc&pro ; in which_case there is no visible
disturbance of normal function..StieVae- -
tun connot be distinguished either by the
_drinker or the physiologist from that of a
quickly digestible fluid, and is no more
an "excitement" or "stimulation," follow
ed by a "recoil" or "depression," than is
the action of a bowl of hot soup or of a
glass of milk. The second action is the
poisonous influence of an excess of alco
hol circulation in the blood, which makes
itself sensible to the drinker by peculiar
sensations and disturbances, and is not
only followed by "depression," but is it.
self a form of depression—that is, a dis
turbance of balance, unnatural perturba
tion of the normal working of the func
tions. •
Every reader of these lines will at once
ask, What then is the limit as to the quan
tity within •which it begins to poison by
its excess ? The question cannot be an
swered categorically, for it so happens
that the "poison line," as it has been so
aptly called, is a abiding one. Even in
health it varies according to age, sex. in
dividual peculiarities and habit,aud even
in the same person according to his phys
ical condition for the time being. When
fatigued by bodily or mental work; when
suffering from emotional mental work,
as anxiety or fear when worn by loss of
sleep, of blood, or of pain, amounts of al
cohol which ordinarily would flush the
face and somewhat confuse the mind, will
bt- borne by the same person without pro
ducing the slightest symptom of intoxi
cation; the whole effect of the drink be
big expended in reliering the pre-existing
malaise, and restoring the system to its
normal condition. And in mare formal
moi hi.' states, as in many diseases the
1;0180n-hue often shifts to an astonishing
lc gree,.so . thut what would in health pro
iince even dangerous drunkenness will be
borne without causing the least intomica
ion ; the whole of the alcohol being ap
parently utilized by the system for obtain
ing the life-saying energy which this flu
id, from its swift absorption and ready
chemical change in 'the blood, can so
It can no longer be truthfully said,
therefore, as in passagis quoted above,
that alcohol never "gives strength." For
since it,- proper dose can be used as one of
tho , q) filed substances whose provence is
to furnish three to run the living machine,
the giving of strength under such circum
stances happens to be exactly what it does
do as closely as words can express it. It
is also plain that it is inaccurate to speak
of alcohol in a sweeping way as a poison.
For the poisonous effects belong only to
an excess of the article swallowed above
a hat can be used as a fbod ; and the pro
perty of being injurious—that is, poison
ous, in overdose—is a common one to
most articles of diet, as tea, coffee, sugar,
salt, etc., although, of course, the nature
and degree of the deletions effect differ
widely with different things. Still furth
er,some -late researches make it more than
probable that a certain amount of alcohol
is Tiarly formed in the animal econo
my, since a substance answering all the
tests of alcohol has been detected in small
quantity as a regular ingredient of the
blood and certain secretions, both in ani
mals and in men who had taken no al
coholic drink for years. To speak, there
fore, of alcohol unqualifiedly as a poison,
is incorrect and improper from every point
of view.
Such, according to the- present state of
chemical and physiological science, are
the main facts concerning the action of al
cohol on the animal system, and my ob
ject in this brief letter is simply to present
these factsida clearly as I can before those
mho discuti the perplexing and moral
problem of the use of alcoholic drinks as
an 'ordinar beverage, in order that the
ibundation stone upon which their argu
ments mus rest may be the secure basis
of truth. EDWARD CURTIS, M. D.
The fire mcker business on the "day
we celebntt "is bPcoming entirely too
costly. Al ngheny city focus up $300,.-
000, Toledo '25,000, Circleville $25,000
and Pontiac - iiitnois,s2o(4oUU—an aggre'
gate of 'sss 100, all lest by fire originat
ing from fire crackers ou the receyt fourth-
A FAMILY NEWSP -i # r 0 - • - • 4 1:- • e - . •
A Miser Millionaire.
In ,a shabby wooden house, two stories
in height, standing on Eighth avenue,
half mile below Central Park, lives one of
the millionaires of'New York. He is the
owner of rows of brick tenements. and a
half dozen brown-stone fronts, but he pre
fers to be sheltered by .the humblest of
roofs that are his. The house that he in
habits is dilapidated and bears not even
the pretense of decayed gentility. Its
sides, from which the paint has been worn
by sun and storm, and its windows,patched
with paper. deftly pasted on the glass,
show willful neglect on the part of the oc-.
cupant. Young folks who ride past the
house on their way to Central Park to
dream of their future home, pray that it
may never be their lot to live in such 'sa
shelter. They may well say so, since the
interior of the house is even less inviting
than its outside. Yet none of them would
believe, except on irrefutable testimony,
that the spot they despise is the home of
one of the wealthy men of the great me
Visitors never find admission to the
house. A termagant woman drives beg
gars,spies and interviewers from the door.
They only get glimpses of a dirty, dark
entry without a carpet and a.pair of stairs
that seem to'go•up into a region of un
broken cobwebs.
_Only those who_coixte.
on can get sight of the owner.—
Thus it happened that a few days since a
stenographer was sent to tale the occu
pant's testimony in a law-suit.- The-latter
had ,become in litigation, and as he was
understood to be confined to his bed the
man of hieroglyphics was sent to wait up
on him. Arrived at; the right - number the
stenographer could not believe that he
was right,and that the client lived in such
a hole. Biii - having - k - nocked - on - the - rao - el;
a frowsy woman in a worn calico dress
assured him that it was all right, and led
the gray tip staies: The v isit - or - fotlowed -
with careful tread, and with an impres
sion that he was wading through a show
er of dirt. The door of the front room on
the second floor admitted him to as strange
a panorania as he ever witnessed. _
Upon a cheap stained bedstead lay a
man of about sixty years. His hair and
lon g beard were gray almest to whiteness,
and,bis frame was stalwart. His was not
a bad face, but rather patriarchal—set
off like the patriarch Canby's by his a
bundant locks. The man was bed-ridden.
All his wealth could not find for him the
power to bid him arise anti walk. But as if
it were not enough,it was evident that' be
denied himself everything except the mere
necessities of existence. The only pleasure
left was to gloat over his possessions and
remember that he was able to buy up
hundreds of those"who lived in apparent
wealth and dressed luxuriously. This
pleasure seems to outlast all othere. The
surroundings of the man were curious.—
The bed was covered with a cheap spread,
and a fragmentary carpet strove to stretch
itself over the floor., At the foot of the
bed was a row of pigeon holes and a board
that closed up against them. When it
was necessary to refer to any of the pa
pers in this rcceptahle, the bed-ridden
millionaire raised himself up to a sitting
position by pulling on a rope flistened to
the bedpost. Then he let down the beard
upon his knees and reached out for the
papers. When he needed to make calcu
lations he took a piece of chalk out of a
pigeon bole, scratched away_ upon the
board, and rubbed the figures off when he
had finished. Pencil and paper were
luxuries altogether too expensive for or
dinary use. Board anti chalk were cheap.
The room was a curiosity shop on an
extensive scale. Two or three chairs, a
table and a piece of white muslin nailed
to the upper half of the windows were its
whole furniture. But it had a multitude
of decorations. Under the bed and in the
corners were baskets of crockery, kitchen
utensils, mantle ornaments, bundles of
clothing and other matters that evidently
had been taken in pledge from tenants
who had no mouey to pay rent. On the
table was a select assortment of clocks,
stuffed birds, varnished fish, shells, and
nicknacks that no doubt had been highly
prized by their owners. Everything evi
dently was fish that had come into this
landlord's net. The visitor took his seat
and began to take the testimony. But it
was a more difficult job than he had in:.
agined. The old man protested against
his taking down every word that he said.
It was 'robbery to, charge fifty centira page'
for what he said. He'd tell him what to
put down. The stenoe-ra, , her quietly re
marked that he knew his business. 'Very
well,' said the sharp millionaire, talk
to this woman and then you can't write
it.' He was answered that the , operation
was quite as easy in one case as in the
other, and finally the work proceeded a
mid many expostulations and a great deal
of protestation against the robbery. Du
ring the session a workingman came in to
consult the 'boss.' Having received his
directions, and being admonished not to
waste his time, his employer remarked :
'Some day when yon have nothing else to
do for half an hour—miud, I say, when
you have nothing else to do—l want you
to go to that house of mine on Blank
street. In the back yard, under some
bricks in the upper corner, dig down a
foot and you will come to some lead pipe
that is buried there. Dig it up and sell
it and bring the money to me. I know
what it is worth ; it will bring a dollar
and a half. Mind, though, when you've
nothing else to do.' fhe visitor finished,
folded up his papers, and left amid a
chorus of growls about `robbery."fhe last
view of th 6 old man revealed him leaning
over his board figuring away at his sums
in chalk. Gray hairs have not taught him
wisdom and the millions he has amassed
have only hmusdit him a mise'r's miseries.
--Ar. Y. Graphic.
Cholera pills—Cucumbers.
Where, where will be the birds that sing,
A hundred years to come?
The flowers that now in beauty spring,
A hundred years to come?
The rosy lip,
The sort brow, .
The heart that beats
So gaily sow ?
'O, where will be love's beaming eye,
Joy's pleasant smiles, and sorrow's sigh,
A hundred years to clime ?
Who'll press for gold this crowded stree t
A hundred years to come ?
Who tread yon church with willing feet,
A hundred years to come ?
Pale; trembling age
And fiery youth,
And childhood with
Its brow of truth
The rich, the poor, on land or sea,
Where will the mighty millions be
A-hundred years to come ?
We all within our graves shall sleep,
A hundred years to come ?
No living soul for us will weep,
A hundred years to come ?
But other men
(furl an dsisil l - till,
And others then
Our streets will fill ;
While other birds-willsing_as_gay,
As bright the sun shines to-day,
A hundred_years to_conie— _
The Praying Sailors.
A ship once sprang a leak in mid ocean,
and there seemed no escape for the crew
-fitun-a--watery_grave. The captain, .with
deep emotion gathered his men around
him, thirty-two in number, and briefly
-stated_to.them-tbeit condition. "Are jou
prepared for it ?" he asked, feelingly.
Two men stepped forward. "Captain,
we believe that we are prepared for death.'
"Then," said he, "pray for me and your
shipmates. I 'acknowledge that lam not
prepared. .
The two men knelt down with, the com
pany, and earnestly prayed God to save
them all for His dear Son's sake. There
was no jeering now at their praying ship
mates. No one to scoff at their religion.
Every one felt that there was comfort and
safety for them only in God. While they
were praying their signal of' distress was
seen, and a life-boat sent to their 'rescue.
They felt as if God had sent an angel to
their help, and their thanksgivings were
as earnest as their prayers Pir assistance
had been. A daily prayermeetiug was
established among them, and before the
port was reached each one of the thirty
two was hopefully converted.
It is a blessing beyond every other
earthly good to be associate(' in life with
praying, Christian .people. We do not
know how many times the Lord wards
off danger and trouble from us on this ac
count, and hew many blessings come to us
in answer to their prayers. Choose such
company in preference to any other, if
you would enjoy the blessing God bestows
in this life, and be fitted at last for such
companionship in the life beyond.
CEULDREIeS STUDIES.—It is said to be
quite nostorious that our youth are grow
ing physically inferior to the youth of oth
er nations. You may construct the most
perfect steam engine in the world, but if
it has not the motive power, steam, it will
not work. So with man or woman.—
You may train the child till it comes to
maturity in all the branches of learning
it is possible for him to acquire, and yet,
if you neglect his physical culture, you
leave him without the motive power to
make use of that hardly-won knowledge.
Parents are undouhtedly...trickions to see
their children become accomplished schoh
ars, and hence too often fail to notice that
their children are , overtaxing themselves.
Such a lack of observation on the parents'
part is the first step toward the child's
ultimate physical ruin. The fault is also
with the general public, who are apt to
criticise too severely the teacher of a
school whose scholars• do not show what
they consider a sufficient advancement,
as a natural consequence, the teacher is,
anxious, and invariably overtaxes the
child. Parents should see to it that their
children are not overtaxed, and they may
rely upon it that when the child reaches
maturity it will not be in any way inferior
to its fellow-students in mental, acquire
ments, and its physical development will
be far superior.
A. TuRnIBLE Hisronr.—Mr. Kyle was
at a neighbor's house-raising, and Airs.
Kyle, with the smaller of her two chil
dren, went to a spring near by to do her
washing. After being engaged some time
she heard a scream from her little girl,
which she had left in the house, and, has
tened to the scene, it was her horror to
behold a Imo rattlesnake there, with its
fangs fastened in the child's arm. She
succeeded in killing the snake, and then,
thinking of her child which• she had left
at the spring, she hastened there, only to
find that this one hail climbed up to the
tub of water, falling in,and was drowned.
This nearly crazed her, and she ran with
all her might to her neighbor's where the
house raising was, and, screamed with ex
citement called to her husband, who at
the time was upon the building, and he
through excitement,in trying to get down
pulled a piece of timber off upon him and
fell, b him instantly. The friends
then went back to where the child and
the snake were, only to find each lying
on the floor dead. All happened within
thirty minutes.—Eaat Wayne Co. (Tenn.)
Now the green apple doubles the little
boys into luarto form.
A Partner for Life.
What is the aim of nine out of ten of
the young ladies who have suitors visitinir
hemt — Dothey have any ? Certainly
—most of them do, only to . forget it. A
little presence of mind on these occasions
would save future unhappiness. The
young gentleman, in many instances, gay
and handsome; and this dazzles the eyes
so utterly, that the young lady refuses to
look farther. She should satisfy herself
on such points as these :,"Will those eyes,
in which Cupid now dances so-merrily,al
- find expression from the love of a
true soul ? Now he says many pleasant
things, and draws pretty pictures for the
future. Does he go to-morrow to work
which gives promise of the fulfillment of
your desires in life? Do his . ambitious
and achievments satisfy you? Does his
every-day life shine with the noble en
deavors of a trustworthy man ? If you
think and desire a companion in your
thinking—one who would unlock the
,deepest depths of your mind—to what
strata of - Ku - inanity does he belong in the
scale of excellence and morality?
Is he doing all he can to build up fu
ure useftilness and happiness, in which
,'on can share and feel blessed?
These are questions which the eaperi•
ence of after years make many women
weepin-bitternesvofso - n - 17thiit — th yhi
not thought of before. they answered—
`Yes.' We should look out for to-day's
reputations and to -morrow's success-The
witticisms an( endearments lavis , ed so
freely may be, and doubtless are, indeed,
very- pleasant„but_they_will not last.—
They will grow tame authpiritless ; and,
if nothing else comes to take their place,
woe to the happiness vainly invoked - on
the shores of the desolation opening all
around, Be careful, then, in choosing a
partner for life; look FeTar — th - e — surface - ; -
for, as pearls do not float, neither are the
best traits of character always the most
prominent. True - hearis and willing
bands unite to make a happy home.
If I Had Leisure.
"If I had leisure I would repair that
weak place in ray fence," said a farmer.
He had none; however, and while drink
ing cider with a neighbor, the cows broke
in and injured a prime piece of corn. He
had leisure, then, to repair his fence, but
it did not bring back his corn.
"If I had leisure," said a wheelwright,
last winter, "I would alter my stove pipe,
for I know it is not safe." But he did not
find time, and when his shop caught fire
and burnt down, be found leisure to build
"If I had leisure," said a mechanic, "I
should have my work done in season."—
The man thinks his time has been all oc
cupied, but he was not at work till after
sunrise; he quit w.)rk at five o'clock,
smoked a .cigar after dinner, and spent
two hours on the street, talking nonsense
with an idler.
"If I had leisure," said a merchant, "I
would pay more attention to My accounts
and try and collect my bills more prompt
ly." The chance is, my friend, if you bad
leisure you would probably pay less at
tention to the matter than you do now.
The thing lacking with hundreds of farm
ers who till the soil is, not more leisure,
but more resolution. The spirit to do
to do now. If the fanner who sees his
fence in a poor condition would only net
at once, how ranch might he saved. It
would prevent breechy cattle creating
quarrels among neighbors, that in many
cases terminate in law suits which takes
nearly all they are worth to pay the law-
The fact islarmers and . mechanics have
more leisure than they are aware of, for
study and the improvement of their minds.
They have' the long evenings of winter,
in which they can post themselves upon
all the improvements of the day, if they
will take ably conducted agricultural
journals, and read them with care. The
fhrmer Who fails - to study the report of
the market and then gets shaved,has ntne
but himself to blame.—N. Y. Farmer.
correspondent, writing on the Mill River
disaster, tells the story of the marvelous
escape of a man and his wife.
They were taken entirely by surprise,
and were washed away with roaring flood
they knew not whither. The'worcan faint
ed, but her husband was fully conscious
to the horror of the situation. The ehan•
ty.hroke into pieces, and left the couple
bruised in the flood.
Suddenly a mass of water swept them
into a seething sea, and he expected each
moment to be their last. His strength
was nearly gone, and he was °about to
drop his loved burden involuntarily, when
another rush of water took them as if they
had been wisps of straw, and lifted them
on some rocky land which was high and
comparatively dry. Here they remained
until a boat put off to their assistance and
they were saved. Their gratitude to Heav
en knew no bounds. The husband declar
ed that he believed nothing short of a
miracle could save them and that miricle
hats been wrought.
NENWPAPEES. Hostile newspaper
are more to be dreaded than a hundred
thousand bayonets.—Bonaparte.
A newspaper can drop the same thought
into a thousand minds at the same moment.
—Do Togueville.
I would rather live in a country with
newspapers and without a government,
than in a country with a government but
without newspapers.— Je
f ferson.
In the United States every worthy citi
zen reads a newspaper and owns the paper
he reads. * * * A good newspaper will
keep a sensible man in sympathy with
the world'seurrynt history. It is an ever
unfolding encyclopaedia—an unbound
book forever issuing and never finished.—
A Salary-Grabber Flanked.
Col. 0. J. Dodds, late member of Con
, m4he-First-d-istriet-of-Ohio—te •
a good story about a call he recently re
ceived at his office from a man who claim
ed to be an editor from Arkansas. He
was a very seedy looking; chap, and ap
peared as though he had but recently
come of? from about a six week's spree.
Bowing profoundly, then striking an atti
tude, with'one liaLd on his heart and the
other extending a badly-used plug hat, he
exclaimed, with a dramatic air :
'Have I the honor of addressing the
Hon. Orza J. Dodds?'
'llly name is Dodds, but I am no long
er an honorable,' said the Colonel.
'Not, an honorable? Dodds not an hon
orable? Now, by St. Paul, when I can
scan that honest face, on which all the
gods do seem to set - their seal.'
' 'Green seal,' murmured Dodds to him
self. read nothinc , dishonorable.'
'That's righti said Dodds; 'never read
anything dishonorable. But to business.'
''Yes, as you say, to business. I am a
printer—l might say, with no unbecom
-ing-bl usb i - an-editor; -- I - am - from - the - noble -
State of Arkansas, the only State, by the
way, able and willing to support two gov
ernments at the same time. But I have
been unfortunate—Muclil-bave_l—been
tossed through the ire of cruel Juno,
'Juno. how it is yourself,' broke in the
'Buffeted by the world's rude storms,
3 • : : :t • I v •
Scarce three moons past I left my office
in charge of myworthy foremair, — and
sought the peaceful vales , and calm re
treats-of the - Muskingum- valley,—where
my childhood sported. Returning, I stop
ped in Cincinnati. I fell in evil company,
and—but why dwell on details-? -Enough
that I am what I am—disheartened, ruin
ed, broke ! A. mark for scorn to point
her slew, unerring finger at. As I was
about to give up in despair, having given,
everything else I had, I thought of you.
Sir, lam here. ton have not sent for
me but I have come! Your name, sir, is
known and honored from. one end of this
great republic to the other. It
"Glows in the stars,
Refreshes in the breeze,
Warms in the sun,
And blossoms on the trees."
When the national treasury was threat
ened by a horde of' greedy congressmen,
you stood like a wall of adamant , between
the people and those infamous 'salary
grabbers. Lend me a dollar 1'
'llly dear sir,' the colonel hastened to
explain, 'you mistake the case entirely.
I was one of the grabbers.'
"You were ?" grasping the Colonel's
hand warmly. 'So much the better Let
me congratulate you that a parsimonious
public could not frighten you out of what
was fair remuneration for your invalua
ble services. lam glad that your pecu
niary circumstances are so much better
than I supposed. Make it two dollars I'
And the Colonel did. It was the only
clean thing left for him to do.
How LONG AND Flow MAsy.—How
long do you , think it took to , write the
Bible ? Fifteen hundred years. From
Moses, who wrote Genesis,to St. John who
wroto Revelations, it was that long, long
How many people helped to write it?
More than thirty. There were Matthew,
Mark, Luke,John,Paul and Peter. There
were Moses, Ezra, David, Daniel, and
Samuel. Some were shepherds, some farm
ers, some fishermen, some tent makers,
some kings; some judges, some princes;
some • were learned, and some were un-'
learned ; and yet they all agree in what
they write. There is not so much as a word
of disagreement in the whole book. How
could that be? Because God did the
thinking of • the Bible. The thoughts in
the Bible are all God's thoughts.
Those thirty men only did the writing.
They wrote just what God told them.—
How many different sections of books are
there in the Bible? 'Sixty-six, all bound
together, making one beautiful whole.—
It is a blessed book. Prize it aboy,e all
the books in the wide, wide world. Make
it the man of your counsel and the guide
of your life. Your life can never be"a
failure if you follow its instructions.—
You will live for a purpose,and save your
soul, and not thyself only shall be saved.
hut others through .thee.
Do NOT CarrromE.—Whatever you
do, never set up for a critic. We don't
mean a newspaper but in private life, in
domestic circle, in society. It will not do
any good, and will do you harm—if you
mind being called disagreeable. If any
one's manners don't please you, remein•
ber your own. People are not made to
suit one taste; recollect that.
Take things as you find them, unless
you can alter them. Even a dinner,after
it is swallowed, can't be made any better.
Continual fault-finding, continual criti
cism of the conduct of this one, the dress
of 'the other, and the opinion of t'other,
will make home the unhappiest place un
der the sun. If you are never pleased
with-any one, no one will ever be pleased
with you. And if it is known you are
hard to suit, few will take pains to suit
you. •
THE DintEs oF Yothiti.—The first
years of man must make provision for
the last. lie who never thinks, never
can be wise. Perpetual levity , ends in
noranee, and intemperance,though iernay .
fire, the spirits for an hour, will make life
short and miserable. Let us consider that
youth is of no long duration, and that, in
mature age, when the enchantments of
fanev shall cease : and ohant.orna of der
light dance no more ab - out us, we shall
have no comforts-bat the esteem . of
men, and the means - of doing good.
$2,00 PER YEAR
Mit and Suntan
When are eyes not eyes? Wheu the
wind makes them water.
Why might carpenters believe there is
no such things as stone? Because they
never saw it.
An lowa editor had branded his content
porary as "mangy dogx--a-disgrace to his
own fleas."
Sam, why don't-you talk tn-ystar.-na-___
ter, and tell him to lay up treatursaiit'
heaven ?" "What's de use of linfi'llay . ing
treasures up &sr ? He never see um again.'
A. returning emigrant wagon passed
through Cedar Falls, lowa, last week,
bearing the expressive awl euphordous la,
bel, "D--n the grasshoppers."
An Irishman, having the .rheumatism
being asked where it troabled him, replied,
`Be me cowl rbclaivel have ivery
howl and corner uv me I"
At what time of life may a man be
said to belong to the vegetable kingdom ?
When long experience ham made hint
sage. , _
It is said that a boy down in Virginia
has feet so large that when he wants
a new pair of boots be just kicks a
cal out ofiteliide and slips them>iin - tigs~
on. ' . .
young man in neuter sent a o
to_a firni_in New York, who adver4
tised a receipt to prevent bad dreams.=. - - -
He received a small slip of paper,on which
was printed, "don't go to sleep?'
An Irishman who got laughed at for
making faces over some pershnmons, re
ported thusly: 'Ye may grin, you mutton
headed idiots! but .I can lather the cowl
out of the man that spilt vinegar over thine.
The Schenectady Star is responsible for
the statement that a Juno• bug, buzimg
around in a dark Watertown parlor, blew
against a young lady's face with such force
as to become hopelessly _entangled in her
beau's moustache.
' "I say, Sambo," said ono Virginia dat7
key to another, "c you answer this
conunderum; s'pos gib you a bottle ob
whiskey cored shu *th a cork how
would you get the iiskey, out without
pullin' de cork or breakin' de bottle?" "1
gibe dat up." "Why, push de cork 'u 1'
People who are not overwise must er
pect to pay for their whims as the lowa
mau did. He went back on his true love
because she ate onions, and the jury gave
her $3,200 damages. How much better
for him if he had offset her by eating Lim
burger cheese.
Two men, strangers to one another, met
one day, and spoke to each other in mis
take. One of them happening to be an,
Irishman, made his apology in this man
• "Oh, Gorrah, it's all a mistake ! I
thought it was you,aud you thought, it was
me, but it's anther of '
A sharp student was called up by the
worthy professer of a celebratee college,
and asked the question, "Can a man see
without eyes?" "Yes, sir"was the prompt
answer. "How, sir" cried the amazed pro
fesser, "can a man see without eyes? pray,
sir, how do you make that out?" :`He can
see with one, sit," replied the ready witted
youth, and the whole class shouted with
delight at the triumph over metaphysics.
,"You know , Madam, that you cannot
make a purse of a sow's ear."
"Oh, sir, please fan me. have inti
mations of a swoon. When you use that
odious specimen of vulgarity again, clothe
it in refined phraseology! You should say
it is impossible to fabricate a pecuniary
receptacle from the auricular organ of the
softer sex of the genus hog."
A worthy gentleman, whose wife, though
an excellent woman, is slightly inclined to
the practice of feminine virtue called
loquacity, lost theother day a black poin
ter, and was 'speaking to us yesterday of
his misfortune. We advised him to ad
vertise his loss._He replied, "Oh, I did
at immediately." "Why," we answer
ed, "we have not noticed it. What pa
per was it in ?" "None--I told my
A wedding, took place recently at
Gouldtown, Mich., in which the parties
to the transaction are aged thirteen and
twelve years, and named respectively
Joseph Monroe and Jenie Narks. What
'makes the matter "more hinding"the
ther of the grcom and the mother qE the
bride were married about a week previ.
ous,so that the father-in-law and ,mother
in-law are all in the family.
Two officers were traveling in the far
West, when they stopped to take supper
at a small road-side tavern, kept by a very
rough Yankee woman. The landlady, in
a calico sue-bonnet and bare feet stood
at the head of the table to pnur cut.—
She inquired of her guests if they chose
long orshort sweetening: The finit officer
supposing that "long sweetening" 'Meant
a large portion of the article, chose it
accordingly. . What was his.dismay when*
he easy the hostess dip her finger into an
earthen jar of honey that stood near her,
and .then Stir her finge' around in the cof
fee. His companion seeing this, prefer
red "short",',Owetitening,"upon which the
woman' lump of maple
an ekai thnr-liv !in a 'biciwn. paper . lin. the
1100:1etilite i 'her, nridThitinwnfr irtlikol;
put is into-the cop.-. Be•thtlie. , gentlEmew
dispensed: with cofte that eveninz.