. . , . . ......... . . • ..21.1.41., . . i ••,:. 9: • • ° • .1.. , 7 .- .... ... . . . 0 16°1 .C 46.1. ' • .• •' . . .' t' ~ ' . . )• 4 ;.: -. ; • . . „i 6-. ,r . ' . • 4 :;'.. Al e- ”•I- 4 . ,I y.d ''; r .." I .t . ..;" 174 ••;', - •::' , ~,i -:'{ t, 5: - ', . "• 4 ' '‘i • • -t ; tt .., i• ?' ' l 4'. : • '. ....I ' et' • ' ,•/.., - • t" 4 ', . ~.2 • TA : '-'!: • '..s, '• st "A ~ r ... 4 :rt. .j 1 . "0; . ('•,, / : q . 4. t.' - 4,1.,„...1'• i -..V* kind 0 ..... :t "1 -.1, -- , ' *:.k. ~., i i';.".-■‘... 11 • , 1 ;•.' •:,,, '...- • . , po l '-f 11 !',,., ... 4. ..44..' - • c.i pt.g. • ... • - :.'. „ t ~. .• 4 ...., ..r:. '1 ... .. .. ~.?' • .... , A, ' . .f ' ,!.: 4 14 't't 1 , •• ''• .t, l ; -;;-. • i ,•,. - ..-1:t Y.: ' I • t t , ',,,i7 , • " :1 . : ' , ,"t. 4 . g''' -•• ' ' . e :f . t P " ..,:, 4, - -, 3 :, • - . 4 ‘4l‘ " ) 94. • •‘,,. , . ,f 4•7'1 ! ,1. .•‘. , . .. l' n :.?' t ... i , . •.V. • ' . : ~. • . . ._.— i • .) • . '' r _ •,___ 1 7_ _ '1 . 4.. "••,' -- . " — 7. • " . ` '•: : - ...... —....--- ''.'. P- - A ~- • . . . A . .. : • . , , . . • • . . .....„.•,. . . , . . . . . , . „ • :IVY W. BLAIR. VOLUME 27. „S , eitt# pottrg. 'TIS A GLORIOUS LAND. BY W. 3. PABODZB Our country,!—'tis a glorious land ! With broad arms stretched from shore to shore ; The prcral Pacific chafes her strand. She hears the dark Atlantic roar; And nurtured on her ample breast, How many a - goodly prospect lies, In nature's wildest:grandeur drest, ,Enamelled with her lovliest dyes. Rich prairies, decked with flowers of gold, .Like sunlit oceans roll afar; Broad lakes her azure heavens behold, • Reflecting clear each trembling star; And mighty rivers, mountain born, Go sweeping onward, dark and deep, 'Through forests where the bounding fawn, Beneath their sheltering branches leap. And, cradled 'mid her clustering hilla, Sweet vales in dream-like,b,eauty h ;,l Where love the air with music fills, And calm content and peace abide ; —For-plenty-here her fullapczs pours In rich profusion o'er the land; __And, sent to seize her generous store, There prowls no tyrant's hireling band Great God ! we thank thee for this home— This bounteous birthland of the free, Where wanderers from afar may come, _ And breathe the air of liberty Still may her flowers untrampled spring, Her harvests wave, her cities rise ; And yet, till Time shall fold his wing, • Remain Earth's lovelies paradise! Disultautous ailing. • [Published by Request IS ALCOHOL A POISON ? A. correspondent in the N.' Y. Tribune says: dike the liberty of asking for space in your columns for the accompa nying remarks on the general nature of the action of alcohol on the animal system, wtich seem to be called for by the many erroneous ideas on that subject current in The newspapers. And as much of whatl have to say is opposed to common Opinion, I may, perhaps, he pardoned for remark ing, as a sort of voucher for such state ments, that being the teacher of 'materia medica and therapeutics' in one of the medical colleges of this city, I have neces sarily given a good deal of attention to the study of the physiological action of all articles used in medicine. and am 0- bliged to keep myself carefully informed of every advance in knowledge ou such stabjeets. In the columns of your daily of March 21, the letters to the editor discussing .Archbishop Purcell's late letter on wine and beendrinking, contain the following passages: ' ,`A glass or two of beer" restores the • wasted strength of man. A stimuluS `re stores' nothing. Alcohol excites the ner vous system, and• all artificial excitement is followed by reaction and exhaustion. Alcohol, in no, form, adds to the vital forces; it subtracts from them. In sick: ness it inlay stimulate for the time the process of digestion, or rally temporarily the vital forces to throw off disease, but the best modern physiologists recognize no nutritious element in that much abus ed agent. If there is a nutritive element in beer, it is so insignificant as to deserve no consideration whatever. * -..* The bishop would not preach that it" was sinful for a 'day laborer to restore his ex hausted strength by a glass or two of beer.' Just as if that beverage ever did restore exhausted strength. The product of the brewery, no less than that of the still, in its very nature, but, only physical weak ness, as is apparent on every band among those addicted to its use. * ' The public mind is largely imbued with the idea that there is some element of strength or virtue in the various stimulants which are swallowed with such disastrous effect by our, people. Until this error has passed away we shall make no permanent ad vance. * I may here inform the archbishop that the alcohol which the hodmen are too fond of will not give them strength, tin God, in his wisdom, has so arranged the system that as soon as man, iu his ignorance, drinks wine, beer or any kind of liquor containing the poison alco hol, it is ejected just as it went into the system, without any change. This being the case, I do not think there is any strength to be had from alcohol.' As no good to the temperance or any other cause can come out of misconception as to matters of fact, I am impelled to say that late researches in physiological chem istry have put the action of alcohol on the animal system in a new light, and that such sweeping statements as the foregoing can no longer be received. Without go ing into technical details, the followiug are the main facts of the matter : Contrary to what was lately believed, and to the last statement quoted above, it has been proved beyond the pessibility of a doubt, that alcohol when drunk is not 'ejected from the system unchanged' ex cept in trifling amount when taken in grossly . intoxicating quantity. On the con trary, in ordinary amounts it is wholly consumed, transtOrmed, in the system, and by the nature of its chemical composition . • is Livable, like certain elements of ordin• ary food, of thus yielding force which can be used by the economy to do life-work, as the heat of the burning coal-drives the engine. In this fact we have a key to the effects of alcoholic drinks on man. Thus within certain limits of dose,alcohol is transform ed like ordinary food in the system with out producing any injurious effects, and yieldinguseful force for the purposes of the economy, must be considered as a food in any philosophical sense of the word.— And an. important point to know,and one little understood, is that this food-action is.attended with no exciting or intoxica ting influence, but the whole effect, like that of ordinary food, is seen in the main tenance 'or restoration, according to cir cumstances, of that balance of function called health. But if taken in greater quantities than can be utilized as a force yielding food, the excess of alcohol acts as a poison, in troducing a well-known train of perturba .tions of function. And—again a point 'generally misunderstood—all signs of de parture from the natural condition in the 'drinker, from the first flushing of the cheek, brightening of the eye, and unnat ural mental excitement to the general oaralysis of complete.drankenness, belong iequally to the poisonous effect' of alcohol. IThat is. for I wish strongly to insist upon ithis point, even the early phases of alco kolic disturbance, which are often im broprly called 4 st:rn 1 atinrare,yartand _enfl iparnNf ethe injurious disturbing influence bioverdosing, and must be put in the ' 'ame category with the more obviously iolsonaus-effects-of-pronoun ced_ in toxica 4ion. Aliohol has thus a twotbld action : Fir t, it is capable, in proper doses, of be ing' consumed and utilized as a forc&pro duc.er ; in which_case there is no visible disturbance of normal function..StieVae- - tun connot be distinguished either by the _drinker or the physiologist from that of a quickly digestible fluid, and is no more an "excitement" or "stimulation," follow ed by a "recoil" or "depression," than is the action of a bowl of hot soup or of a glass of milk. The second action is the poisonous influence of an excess of alco hol circulation in the blood, which makes itself sensible to the drinker by peculiar sensations and disturbances, and is not only followed by "depression," but is it. self a form of depression—that is, a dis turbance of balance, unnatural perturba tion of the normal working of the func tions. • Every reader of these lines will at once ask, What then is the limit as to the quan tity within •which it begins to poison by its excess ? The question cannot be an swered categorically, for it so happens that the "poison line," as it has been so aptly called, is a abiding one. Even in health it varies according to age, sex. in dividual peculiarities and habit,aud even in the same person according to his phys ical condition for the time being. When fatigued by bodily or mental work; when suffering from emotional mental work, as anxiety or fear when worn by loss of sleep, of blood, or of pain, amounts of al cohol which ordinarily would flush the face and somewhat confuse the mind, will bt- borne by the same person without pro ducing the slightest symptom of intoxi cation; the whole effect of the drink be big expended in reliering the pre-existing malaise, and restoring the system to its normal condition. And in mare formal moi hi.' states, as in many diseases the 1;0180n-hue often shifts to an astonishing lc gree,.so . thut what would in health pro iince even dangerous drunkenness will be borne without causing the least intomica ion ; the whole of the alcohol being ap parently utilized by the system for obtain ing the life-saying energy which this flu id, from its swift absorption and ready chemical change in 'the blood, can so quickly It can no longer be truthfully said, therefore, as in passagis quoted above, that alcohol never "gives strength." For since it,- proper dose can be used as one of tho , q) filed substances whose provence is to furnish three to run the living machine, the giving of strength under such circum stances happens to be exactly what it does do as closely as words can express it. It is also plain that it is inaccurate to speak of alcohol in a sweeping way as a poison. For the poisonous effects belong only to an excess of the article swallowed above a hat can be used as a fbod ; and the pro perty of being injurious—that is, poison ous, in overdose—is a common one to most articles of diet, as tea, coffee, sugar, salt, etc., although, of course, the nature and degree of the deletions effect differ widely with different things. Still furth er,some -late researches make it more than probable that a certain amount of alcohol is Tiarly formed in the animal econo my, since a substance answering all the tests of alcohol has been detected in small quantity as a regular ingredient of the blood and certain secretions, both in ani mals and in men who had taken no al coholic drink for years. To speak, there fore, of alcohol unqualifiedly as a poison, is incorrect and improper from every point of view. Such, according to the- present state of chemical and physiological science, are the main facts concerning the action of al cohol on the animal system, and my ob ject in this brief letter is simply to present these factsida clearly as I can before those mho discuti the perplexing and moral problem of the use of alcoholic drinks as 1. an 'ordinar beverage, in order that the ibundation stone upon which their argu ments mus rest may be the secure basis of truth. EDWARD CURTIS, M. D. The fire mcker business on the "day we celebntt "is bPcoming entirely too costly. Al ngheny city focus up $300,.- 000, Toledo '25,000, Circleville $25,000 and Pontiac - iiitnois,s2o(4oUU—an aggre' gate of 'sss 100, all lest by fire originat ing from fire crackers ou the receyt fourth- A FAMILY NEWSP -i # r 0 - • - • 4 1:- • e - . • WAXNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 6, 1874. A Miser Millionaire. In ,a shabby wooden house, two stories in height, standing on Eighth avenue, half mile below Central Park, lives one of the millionaires of'New York. He is the owner of rows of brick tenements. and a half dozen brown-stone fronts, but he pre fers to be sheltered by .the humblest of roofs that are his. The house that he in habits is dilapidated and bears not even the pretense of decayed gentility. Its sides, from which the paint has been worn by sun and storm, and its windows,patched with paper. deftly pasted on the glass, show willful neglect on the part of the oc-. cupant. Young folks who ride past the house on their way to Central Park to dream of their future home, pray that it may never be their lot to live in such 'sa shelter. They may well say so, since the interior of the house is even less inviting than its outside. Yet none of them would believe, except on irrefutable testimony, that the spot they despise is the home of one of the wealthy men of the great me tropol Visitors never find admission to the house. A termagant woman drives beg gars,spies and interviewers from the door. They only get glimpses of a dirty, dark entry without a carpet and a.pair of stairs that seem to'go•up into a region of un broken cobwebs. _Only those who_coixte. on can get sight of the owner.— Thus it happened that a few days since a stenographer was sent to tale the occu pant's testimony in a law-suit.- The-latter had ,become in litigation, and as he was understood to be confined to his bed the man of hieroglyphics was sent to wait up on him. Arrived at; the right - number the stenographer could not believe that he was right,and that the client lived in such a hole. Biii - having - k - nocked - on - the - rao - el; a frowsy woman in a worn calico dress assured him that it was all right, and led the gray tip staies: The v isit - or - fotlowed - with careful tread, and with an impres sion that he was wading through a show er of dirt. The door of the front room on the second floor admitted him to as strange a panorania as he ever witnessed. _ Upon a cheap stained bedstead lay a man of about sixty years. His hair and lon g beard were gray almest to whiteness, and,bis frame was stalwart. His was not a bad face, but rather patriarchal—set off like the patriarch Canby's by his a bundant locks. The man was bed-ridden. All his wealth could not find for him the power to bid him arise anti walk. But as if it were not enough,it was evident that' be denied himself everything except the mere necessities of existence. The only pleasure left was to gloat over his possessions and remember that he was able to buy up hundreds of those"who lived in apparent wealth and dressed luxuriously. This pleasure seems to outlast all othere. The surroundings of the man were curious.— The bed was covered with a cheap spread, and a fragmentary carpet strove to stretch itself over the floor., At the foot of the bed was a row of pigeon holes and a board that closed up against them. When it was necessary to refer to any of the pa pers in this rcceptahle, the bed-ridden millionaire raised himself up to a sitting position by pulling on a rope flistened to the bedpost. Then he let down the beard upon his knees and reached out for the papers. When he needed to make calcu lations he took a piece of chalk out of a pigeon bole, scratched away_ upon the board, and rubbed the figures off when he had finished. Pencil and paper were luxuries altogether too expensive for or dinary use. Board anti chalk were cheap. The room was a curiosity shop on an extensive scale. Two or three chairs, a table and a piece of white muslin nailed to the upper half of the windows were its whole furniture. But it had a multitude of decorations. Under the bed and in the corners were baskets of crockery, kitchen utensils, mantle ornaments, bundles of clothing and other matters that evidently had been taken in pledge from tenants who had no mouey to pay rent. On the table was a select assortment of clocks, stuffed birds, varnished fish, shells, and nicknacks that no doubt had been highly prized by their owners. Everything evi dently was fish that had come into this landlord's net. The visitor took his seat and began to take the testimony. But it was a more difficult job than he had in:. agined. The old man protested against his taking down every word that he said. It was 'robbery to, charge fifty centira page' for what he said. He'd tell him what to put down. The stenoe-ra, , her quietly re marked that he knew his business. 'Very well,' said the sharp millionaire, talk to this woman and then you can't write it.' He was answered that the , operation was quite as easy in one case as in the other, and finally the work proceeded a mid many expostulations and a great deal of protestation against the robbery. Du ring the session a workingman came in to consult the 'boss.' Having received his directions, and being admonished not to waste his time, his employer remarked : 'Some day when yon have nothing else to do for half an hour—miud, I say, when you have nothing else to do—l want you to go to that house of mine on Blank street. In the back yard, under some bricks in the upper corner, dig down a foot and you will come to some lead pipe that is buried there. Dig it up and sell it and bring the money to me. I know what it is worth ; it will bring a dollar and a half. Mind, though, when you've nothing else to do.' fhe visitor finished, folded up his papers, and left amid a chorus of growls about `robbery."fhe last view of th 6 old man revealed him leaning over his board figuring away at his sums in chalk. Gray hairs have not taught him wisdom and the millions he has amassed have only hmusdit him a mise'r's miseries. --Ar. Y. Graphic. Cholera pills—Cucumbers. A MADDED YEARS TO COMB. Where, where will be the birds that sing, A hundred years to come? The flowers that now in beauty spring, A hundred years to come? The rosy lip, The sort brow, . The heart that beats So gaily sow ? 'O, where will be love's beaming eye, Joy's pleasant smiles, and sorrow's sigh, A hundred years to clime ? Who'll press for gold this crowded stree t A hundred years to come ? .r. Who tread yon church with willing feet, A hundred years to come ? Pale; trembling age • And fiery youth, And childhood with Its brow of truth The rich, the poor, on land or sea, Where will the mighty millions be A-hundred years to come ? We all within our graves shall sleep, A hundred years to come ? No living soul for us will weep, A hundred years to come ? But other men (furl an dsisil l - till, And others then Our streets will fill ; While other birds-willsing_as_gay, As bright the sun shines to-day, A hundred_years to_conie— _ The Praying Sailors. A ship once sprang a leak in mid ocean, and there seemed no escape for the crew -fitun-a--watery_grave. The captain, .with deep emotion gathered his men around him, thirty-two in number, and briefly -stated_to.them-tbeit condition. "Are jou prepared for it ?" he asked, feelingly. Two men stepped forward. "Captain, we believe that we are prepared for death.' "Then," said he, "pray for me and your shipmates. I 'acknowledge that lam not prepared. . The two men knelt down with, the com pany, and earnestly prayed God to save them all for His dear Son's sake. There was no jeering now at their praying ship mates. No one to scoff at their religion. Every one felt that there was comfort and safety for them only in God. While they were praying their signal of' distress was seen, and a life-boat sent to their 'rescue. They felt as if God had sent an angel to their help, and their thanksgivings were as earnest as their prayers Pir assistance had been. A daily prayermeetiug was established among them, and before the port was reached each one of the thirty two was hopefully converted. It is a blessing beyond every other earthly good to be associate(' in life with praying, Christian .people. We do not know how many times the Lord wards off danger and trouble from us on this ac count, and hew many blessings come to us in answer to their prayers. Choose such company in preference to any other, if you would enjoy the blessing God bestows in this life, and be fitted at last for such companionship in the life beyond. CEULDREIeS STUDIES.—It is said to be quite nostorious that our youth are grow ing physically inferior to the youth of oth er nations. You may construct the most perfect steam engine in the world, but if it has not the motive power, steam, it will not work. So with man or woman.— You may train the child till it comes to maturity in all the branches of learning it is possible for him to acquire, and yet, if you neglect his physical culture, you leave him without the motive power to make use of that hardly-won knowledge. Parents are undouhtedly...trickions to see their children become accomplished schoh ars, and hence too often fail to notice that their children are , overtaxing themselves. Such a lack of observation on the parents' part is the first step toward the child's ultimate physical ruin. The fault is also with the general public, who are apt to criticise too severely the teacher of a school whose scholars• do not show what they consider a sufficient advancement, as a natural consequence, the teacher is, anxious, and invariably overtaxes the child. Parents should see to it that their children are not overtaxed, and they may rely upon it that when the child reaches maturity it will not be in any way inferior to its fellow-students in mental, acquire ments, and its physical development will be far superior. A. TuRnIBLE Hisronr.—Mr. Kyle was at a neighbor's house-raising, and Airs. Kyle, with the smaller of her two chil dren, went to a spring near by to do her washing. After being engaged some time she heard a scream from her little girl, which she had left in the house, and, has tened to the scene, it was her horror to behold a Imo rattlesnake there, with its fangs fastened in the child's arm. She succeeded in killing the snake, and then, thinking of her child which• she had left at the spring, she hastened there, only to find that this one hail climbed up to the tub of water, falling in,and was drowned. This nearly crazed her, and she ran with all her might to her neighbor's where the house raising was, and, screamed with ex citement called to her husband, who at the time was upon the building, and he through excitement,in trying to get down pulled a piece of timber off upon him and fell, b him instantly. The friends then went back to where the child and the snake were, only to find each lying on the floor dead. All happened within thirty minutes.—Eaat Wayne Co. (Tenn.) Now the green apple doubles the little boys into luarto form. A Partner for Life. What is the aim of nine out of ten of the young ladies who have suitors visitinir hemt — Dothey have any ? Certainly —most of them do, only to . forget it. A little presence of mind on these occasions would save future unhappiness. The young gentleman, in many instances, gay and handsome; and this dazzles the eyes so utterly, that the young lady refuses to look farther. She should satisfy herself on such points as these :,"Will those eyes, in which Cupid now dances so-merrily,al - find expression from the love of a true soul ? Now he says many pleasant things, and draws pretty pictures for the future. Does he go to-morrow to work which gives promise of the fulfillment of your desires in life? Do his . ambitious and achievments satisfy you? Does his every-day life shine with the noble en deavors of a trustworthy man ? If you think and desire a companion in your thinking—one who would unlock the ,deepest depths of your mind—to what strata of - Ku - inanity does he belong in the scale of excellence and morality? Is he doing all he can to build up fu ure useftilness and happiness, in which ,'on can share and feel blessed? These are questions which the eaperi• ence of after years make many women weepin-bitternesvofso - n - 17thiit — th yhi not thought of before. they answered— `Yes.' We should look out for to-day's reputations and to -morrow's success-The witticisms an( endearments lavis , ed so freely may be, and doubtless are, indeed, very- pleasant„but_they_will not last.— They will grow tame authpiritless ; and, if nothing else comes to take their place, woe to the happiness vainly invoked - on the shores of the desolation opening all around, Be careful, then, in choosing a partner for life; look FeTar — th - e — surface - ; - for, as pearls do not float, neither are the best traits of character always the most prominent. True - hearis and willing bands unite to make a happy home. If I Had Leisure. "If I had leisure I would repair that weak place in ray fence," said a farmer. He had none; however, and while drink ing cider with a neighbor, the cows broke in and injured a prime piece of corn. He had leisure, then, to repair his fence, but it did not bring back his corn. "If I had leisure," said a wheelwright, last winter, "I would alter my stove pipe, for I know it is not safe." But he did not find time, and when his shop caught fire and burnt down, be found leisure to build another. "If I had leisure," said a mechanic, "I should have my work done in season."— The man thinks his time has been all oc cupied, but he was not at work till after sunrise; he quit w.)rk at five o'clock, smoked a .cigar after dinner, and spent two hours on the street, talking nonsense with an idler. "If I had leisure," said a merchant, "I would pay more attention to My accounts and try and collect my bills more prompt ly." The chance is, my friend, if you bad leisure you would probably pay less at tention to the matter than you do now. The thing lacking with hundreds of farm ers who till the soil is, not more leisure, but more resolution. The spirit to do to do now. If the fanner who sees his fence in a poor condition would only net at once, how ranch might he saved. It would prevent breechy cattle creating quarrels among neighbors, that in many cases terminate in law suits which takes nearly all they are worth to pay the law- Yiers• The fact islarmers and . mechanics have more leisure than they are aware of, for study and the improvement of their minds. They have' the long evenings of winter, in which they can post themselves upon all the improvements of the day, if they will take ably conducted agricultural journals, and read them with care. The fhrmer Who fails - to study the report of the market and then gets shaved,has ntne but himself to blame.—N. Y. Farmer. El MOST WONDERFUL ESCAPE.-A correspondent, writing on the Mill River disaster, tells the story of the marvelous escape of a man and his wife. They were taken entirely by surprise, and were washed away with roaring flood they knew not whither. The'worcan faint ed, but her husband was fully conscious to the horror of the situation. The ehan• ty.hroke into pieces, and left the couple bruised in the flood. Suddenly a mass of water swept them into a seething sea, and he expected each moment to be their last. His strength was nearly gone, and he was °about to drop his loved burden involuntarily, when another rush of water took them as if they had been wisps of straw, and lifted them on some rocky land which was high and comparatively dry. Here they remained until a boat put off to their assistance and they were saved. Their gratitude to Heav en knew no bounds. The husband declar ed that he believed nothing short of a miracle could save them and that miricle hats been wrought. NENWPAPEES. Hostile newspaper are more to be dreaded than a hundred thousand bayonets.—Bonaparte. A newspaper can drop the same thought into a thousand minds at the same moment. —Do Togueville. I would rather live in a country with newspapers and without a government, than in a country with a government but without newspapers.— Je f ferson. In the United States every worthy citi zen reads a newspaper and owns the paper he reads. * * * A good newspaper will keep a sensible man in sympathy with the world'seurrynt history. It is an ever unfolding encyclopaedia—an unbound book forever issuing and never finished.— Beedtcr. A Salary-Grabber Flanked. Col. 0. J. Dodds, late member of Con , m4he-First-d-istriet-of-Ohio—te • a good story about a call he recently re ceived at his office from a man who claim ed to be an editor from Arkansas. He was a very seedy looking; chap, and ap peared as though he had but recently come of? from about a six week's spree. Bowing profoundly, then striking an atti tude, with'one liaLd on his heart and the other extending a badly-used plug hat, he exclaimed, with a dramatic air : 'Have I the honor of addressing the Hon. Orza J. Dodds?' 'llly name is Dodds, but I am no long er an honorable,' said the Colonel. 'Not, an honorable? Dodds not an hon orable? Now, by St. Paul, when I can scan that honest face, on which all the gods do seem to set - their seal.' ' 'Green seal,' murmured Dodds to him self. read nothinc , dishonorable.' 'That's righti said Dodds; 'never read anything dishonorable. But to business.' ''Yes, as you say, to business. I am a printer—l might say, with no unbecom -ing-bl usb i - an-editor; -- I - am - from - the - noble - State of Arkansas, the only State, by the way, able and willing to support two gov ernments at the same time. But I have been unfortunate—Muclil-bave_l—been tossed through the ire of cruel Juno, and—' 'Juno. how it is yourself,' broke in the 'Buffeted by the world's rude storms, 3 • : : :t • I v • Scarce three moons past I left my office in charge of myworthy foremair, — and sought the peaceful vales , and calm re treats-of the - Muskingum- valley,—where my childhood sported. Returning, I stop ped in Cincinnati. I fell in evil company, and—but why dwell on details-? -Enough that I am what I am—disheartened, ruin ed, broke ! A. mark for scorn to point her slew, unerring finger at. As I was about to give up in despair, having given, everything else I had, I thought of you. Sir, lam here. ton have not sent for me but I have come! Your name, sir, is known and honored from. one end of this great republic to the other. It "Glows in the stars, Refreshes in the breeze, Warms in the sun, And blossoms on the trees." When the national treasury was threat ened by a horde of' greedy congressmen, you stood like a wall of adamant , between the people and those infamous 'salary grabbers. Lend me a dollar 1' 'llly dear sir,' the colonel hastened to explain, 'you mistake the case entirely. I was one of the grabbers.' "You were ?" grasping the Colonel's hand warmly. 'So much the better Let me congratulate you that a parsimonious public could not frighten you out of what was fair remuneration for your invalua ble services. lam glad that your pecu niary circumstances are so much better than I supposed. Make it two dollars I' And the Colonel did. It was the only clean thing left for him to do. How LONG AND Flow MAsy.—How long do you , think it took to , write the Bible ? Fifteen hundred years. From Moses, who wrote Genesis,to St. John who wroto Revelations, it was that long, long time. How many people helped to write it? More than thirty. There were Matthew, Mark, Luke,John,Paul and Peter. There were Moses, Ezra, David, Daniel, and Samuel. Some were shepherds, some farm ers, some fishermen, some tent makers, some kings; some judges, some princes; some • were learned, and some were un-' learned ; and yet they all agree in what they write. There is not so much as a word of disagreement in the whole book. How could that be? Because God did the thinking of • the Bible. The thoughts in the Bible are all God's thoughts. Those thirty men only did the writing. They wrote just what God told them.— How many different sections of books are there in the Bible? 'Sixty-six, all bound together, making one beautiful whole.— It is a blessed book. Prize it aboy,e all the books in the wide, wide world. Make it the man of your counsel and the guide of your life. Your life can never be"a failure if you follow its instructions.— You will live for a purpose,and save your soul, and not thyself only shall be saved. hut others through .thee. Do NOT CarrromE.—Whatever you do, never set up for a critic. We don't mean a newspaper but in private life, in domestic circle, in society. It will not do any good, and will do you harm—if you mind being called disagreeable. If any one's manners don't please you, remein• ber your own. People are not made to suit one taste; recollect that. Take things as you find them, unless you can alter them. Even a dinner,after it is swallowed, can't be made any better. Continual fault-finding, continual criti cism of the conduct of this one, the dress of 'the other, and the opinion of t'other, will make home the unhappiest place un der the sun. If you are never pleased with-any one, no one will ever be pleased with you. And if it is known you are hard to suit, few will take pains to suit you. • THE DintEs oF Yothiti.—The first years of man must make provision for the last. lie who never thinks, never can be wise. Perpetual levity , ends in noranee, and intemperance,though iernay . fire, the spirits for an hour, will make life short and miserable. Let us consider that youth is of no long duration, and that, in mature age, when the enchantments of fanev shall cease : and ohant.orna of der light dance no more ab - out us, we shall have no comforts-bat the esteem . of men, and the means - of doing good. $2,00 PER YEAR Mit and Suntan When are eyes not eyes? Wheu the wind makes them water. Why might carpenters believe there is no such things as stone? Because they never saw it. An lowa editor had branded his content porary as "mangy dogx--a-disgrace to his own fleas." Sam, why don't-you talk tn-ystar.-na-___ ter, and tell him to lay up treatursaiit' heaven ?" "What's de use of linfi'llay . ing treasures up &sr ? He never see um again.' A. returning emigrant wagon passed through Cedar Falls, lowa, last week, bearing the expressive awl euphordous la, bel, "D--n the grasshoppers." An Irishman, having the .rheumatism being asked where it troabled him, replied, `Be me cowl rbclaivel have ivery howl and corner uv me I" At what time of life may a man be said to belong to the vegetable kingdom ? When long experience ham made hint sage. , _ It is said that a boy down in Virginia has feet so large that when he wants a new pair of boots be just kicks a cal out ofiteliide and slips them>iin - tigs~ on. ' . . young man in neuter sent a o to_a firni_in New York, who adver4 tised a receipt to prevent bad dreams.=. - - - He received a small slip of paper,on which was printed, "don't go to sleep?' An Irishman who got laughed at for making faces over some pershnmons, re ported thusly: 'Ye may grin, you mutton headed idiots! but .I can lather the cowl out of the man that spilt vinegar over thine. plums." The Schenectady Star is responsible for the statement that a Juno• bug, buzimg around in a dark Watertown parlor, blew against a young lady's face with such force as to become hopelessly _entangled in her beau's moustache. ' "I say, Sambo," said ono Virginia dat7 key to another, "c you answer this conunderum; s'pos gib you a bottle ob $ whiskey cored shu *th a cork how would you get the iiskey, out without pullin' de cork or breakin' de bottle?" "1 gibe dat up." "Why, push de cork 'u 1' People who are not overwise must er pect to pay for their whims as the lowa mau did. He went back on his true love because she ate onions, and the jury gave her $3,200 damages. How much better for him if he had offset her by eating Lim burger cheese. Two men, strangers to one another, met one day, and spoke to each other in mis take. One of them happening to be an, Irishman, made his apology in this man ner: • "Oh, Gorrah, it's all a mistake ! I thought it was you,aud you thought, it was me, but it's anther of ' A sharp student was called up by the worthy professer of a celebratee college, and asked the question, "Can a man see without eyes?" "Yes, sir"was the prompt answer. "How, sir" cried the amazed pro fesser, "can a man see without eyes? pray, sir, how do you make that out?" :`He can see with one, sit," replied the ready witted youth, and the whole class shouted with delight at the triumph over metaphysics. ,"You know , Madam, that you cannot make a purse of a sow's ear." "Oh, sir, please fan me. have inti mations of a swoon. When you use that odious specimen of vulgarity again, clothe it in refined phraseology! You should say it is impossible to fabricate a pecuniary receptacle from the auricular organ of the softer sex of the genus hog." A worthy gentleman, whose wife, though an excellent woman, is slightly inclined to the practice of feminine virtue called loquacity, lost theother day a black poin ter, and was 'speaking to us yesterday of his misfortune. We advised him to ad vertise his loss._He replied, "Oh, I did at immediately." "Why," we answer ed, "we have not noticed it. What pa per was it in ?" "None--I told my wife." A wedding, took place recently at Gouldtown, Mich., in which the parties to the transaction are aged thirteen and twelve years, and named respectively Joseph Monroe and Jenie Narks. What 'makes the matter "more hinding"the ther of the grcom and the mother qE the bride were married about a week previ. ous,so that the father-in-law and ,mother in-law are all in the family. Two officers were traveling in the far West, when they stopped to take supper at a small road-side tavern, kept by a very rough Yankee woman. The landlady, in a calico sue-bonnet and bare feet stood at the head of the table to pnur cut.— She inquired of her guests if they chose long orshort sweetening: The finit officer supposing that "long sweetening" 'Meant a large portion of the article, chose it accordingly. . What was his.dismay when* he easy the hostess dip her finger into an earthen jar of honey that stood near her, and .then Stir her finge' around in the cof fee. His companion seeing this, prefer red "short",',Owetitening,"upon which the woman'pieked.up4:lar.re lump of maple an ekai thnr-liv !in a 'biciwn. paper . lin. the 1100:1etilite i 'her, nridThitinwnfr irtlikol; put is into-the cop.-. Be•thtlie. , gentlEmew dispensed: with cofte that eveninz. NUMBER 7.