The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, June 04, 1874, Image 1

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    EY W. BLAIR.
TEI S7---Two Dollars per Annum if paid
withinthe year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year, ,
lines) three insertions, $1,50; fot
• each subsequent insertion, Thlr
five Cents per Square. A. liberal
discount made to yearly adver
LOCALS.—Business 'Locals Ten Conti; per
lino far the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subsea nent insOttrons
prgegsional ilards.
Oilers his professional services to the
citizens of Quincy and vicinity. Office near
the Burger Hotel. ' apr9-tf
'Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug
ore." [jane
Offers his professional services to - the pub
lic. 01lice in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. april
ISAAC N. sNrvErsr,
Office at his residence, nearly oppos
be Bowden House. Nov 2—t
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
.and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Real Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
. .
Office at his residetioli, N. Cor. of the
Public Square, Waynesboro', Pa.
apr 0-tf
R. BENJ. FRANTZ has removed to the
.11finew Office,buiiding, adjoining his dwell
ing on West end of Main street, where he
tan always be found, when not engaged on
professional visits.
Omen Horns :—BetWee 8 and 10 o'clock,
A. M.. and 12 and Land 6 and 9 P. M. Spec
ial attention given to all forms of chronic
disease. An ex.perience of nearly thirty
years enables him to give satisfaction. The
most approved trusses applied and adjusted
to suit the wants of those afflicted with her
nia or ruliture. apr 23-tf
,01,0 4 r7 .7
r 4
For the Best and most Popular Organs in No
Organs always on exhibition and for sale
at his office.
We being acquainted with Dr. Branis
holt:, socially and professionally recommend
him to all desiring the services of a Dentist.
Drs. E. A. IlEarso, ,J. 31, RIPPLE,
" A. S. BONEBRAKE, T. D. Fas Not.
fa. 'dpi rORNEY & CO.
Produ Ginnzalsg fen Nara.= tag
ray particular attention to the sale of
Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal acWances made on consignments.
may 29-tf
Hats, Caps, Furs and Straw Goods,
No. 531 Market Street, Philadelphia, Pa
april 11-:tf
Ir HE Subscriber having leased this well
known 1-IJtel property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate the traveling public
and others who may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times be in'attetlanee.
May 23-tf SAM'I. P. STONER..
MITE subscriber would infirm the public
3 that he is at all times prepared to make
o order Gents Coarse or fne Boots, also
coarse or tine work for Ladles or Misses, in
cluding the latest stviA of' lasting Gaiters.—
Repairing done at short notice„ and measur
vs taken in private fa:miles if desired Shop
on East Main Street, in the room formerly
occupied by J. Elden, as a flour' and feed
Feet of different grates of
30,000. Pine Board Lumber for sale
nteylstfj S. 1.1. Works.
Aielett Publ..
Hon datk the shawdows grow, darling,
All faintly comes my breath ;
Al, me ! I soon shall feel and know
The mystery of death ;
In vain you strive to hold me here,
To keep me ever nigh,
The wings of Azrael holier near,
And we must say good-bye.
Bsit this is not the first, darling,
We've said good-bye before;
And tears of sorrow seemed to burst
Tip frlm the heart's full core ;
Yet still we hoped to meet again,
Renew each earthly tie,
Deer love, it is not as then,
This is the last good-bye.-
It is a sacred word, darling,
All other Words above, .
And from our lips it ne'er was heard,
Save by the ones we love;
Adieu will serve this world of show,
For soon their tears
.they dry, .
'Tis only when the dear ones go
We care to say good-bye.
We're drifting Iltr apart, darling,
And when we meet again
'Twill be to 'oin with tan_ •
The angels' glad amen. .
The star of peace beams from► thip shore,
Where I am drawing nigh'
Then, darling, kiss me just once more,
And take the last good-bye !
alliuellauratui alcading.
"About thirty years ago," said Judge
P., "I stepped into a book store in Cincin
natti, in search of some books i wanted.
While there, a little ragged boy, not over
twelve years of' age, mine in and inquir
ed ler a geography."
"Plenty of theta ) " was the salesman's
"How much do they cost?'
"Qne dollar, my lad."
"I' did not know they were so much."
He turned to go out, and even opened the
door, but closed it again and came back.
"I have got only sixty-one cents," said
he; "could you let me have a geography,
and wait a little while for the rest of the
How eagerly his little bright eyes look
ed for an answer; and how he seemed to
shrink within his ragged clothes when the
man, not very kindly, told him he could
not !
The disappointed little fellow looked
up to me, with a very poor attempt at a
smile, and left the store. I followed him
and overtook him.
"And what now?" I asked.
"Try another place, .sir."
"Shall I go, too, and see how god' suc
"Oh. yes, if you like," said he, in sur
Four different stores I entered pith him
and each time he was refused.
"Will you try again?" I asked.
"Yes, sir, I shall try them all, or I
should not know whether I could get one.
We entered the fifth store, and the lit
tle felloiv Walked up manfully, and told
the gentleman just what he wanted, and
how much money he had.
"You want the hook very much?" said
the proprietor.
"Yes, sir, very much."
"Why do yon want it so very, very
"To study, sir. I can't go to school,
but I study when I can at home. All
the boys have got one, and they will get
ahead of me. - Besides, my father was a
sailor, and I want to learn of the places
where he used to go." •
"Does he go to these places now?" ask
ed the proprietor.
"He is dead," said the boy, softly.—
Then he added, after a while, "I am go
ing to be a sailor, too." •
"Are yo - u though?" asked the gentle-
Man, raising eyebrows curiously.
"Yes, sir, if I live."
"Well, my lad, I will tell you what I
will do; I will let you have a new geogra
phy, and you may pay the remainder of
the money when you can, or I will let
you have one that is not new fur fifty
"Are the leaves all in it, and just like
the others, only not new?"
"Yes, just Me the new ones."
"It will do just as well then, and I will
have eleven cents left towards buying
sonic other kok. I am glad they did
not let rue have one at any of the other
The boAseller looked up inquiringly,
and I tolVhim what I had seen of the
little fellow. He was much pleased, and
when he brought the book along, I saw a
nice new pencil and some clean white pa
per in it.
"A present, my lad, for your persever
ance. Alwapi have courage like that
and you will make your mark," said the
"Thank you, sir. you are so very kind."
"What is yoar name:"
"William Harveley, sir."
"Do you want any more books?" I now
asked him.
"More than I can ever get," he replied
glancing at the books on the shelves.
I gave him a bank note. "It will buy
some for you," I said.
Tears of joy came into his eyes.
"Can I buy what I want with it?"
"Yes, my lad, anything."
"Then ',will buy for mother,",
said he; "I thank you very much, and
some day I hope I can pay you back."
He wanted my name; and I gave to
him. Then I left him standing by the
counter so happy that almost envied,
him, and many years passed before . l'saw
him again."
Last year I went to Europe on one of
the finest vesseli that 'ever plowed the At
lantic. We had very beautiful weather
until near the end of the voyage then.
came a most terrible storm that would
haVe sunk all on board had it not been
for the captain. •
Every spar was laid low, the rudder
was almost useless, and a great leak had
shown itself, threatening to fill the ship:
The crew were strong, willing men, and
the mates were practical seamen of the
first class; but after pumping for one whole
night, and still the water was gaining up
on them; they gave up in despair and pre
pared to take the boats, tho' they might
have known no small boat could ride
such .a sea. The captain, who had been
below with his charts, now came up. He
saw how matters stood, and with a voice
that I heard distinetly'above the roar of
the tempest, he ordered every man to his
It was surprising to see those men bow
before the strong will of their captain,
and hurry back to the pumps.
The captain then Started below to ex
amine the leak. As he passed me I ask
ed him if there was any hope. He look
ed at me and then at the other passengers,
d-crowded-up-to—hca r the r-
Mid - said rebukingly :
"Yes, sir; there is hope as long as one
inch of the deck remains above water ;
when I see none of it, then I shall aban
don the vessel, and not before, nor one of
my crew, sir. Everything shall be 'lone
to save it, and if we fail, it will not be
from inaction. Bear a hand, every one
of you, at the pumps,"
Thrice during the day did we despair;
but the captain's dauntless courage, per
severance and powerful will mastered ev.
ery man on board, and we went to work
"I will land you safely at the dock in
Liverpool," said he, "if you will be men."
And he did land us safely; but the ves
sel sunk,
moored to the dock.. The cap
tain stood on the deck of the sinking ves
sel, receiving the thanks and blessings of
the passengers, as they passed the gano ,
plank. I was the last to leave. An.
passed he grasped my hand and said
"Judge P., do yon recognize me?"
I told him that I was not aware that I
ever saw him before' until I stepped a
beard his ship.
"Do you remember the boy in Cincin
"Very:well, sir ; William Haverley."
"I am he," said he. "God bless you!"
"And God bless noble Captain Haver
A Quaker's Temperance Lecture.
A few years ago several persons were
crossing the Allegheney Mountains in a
stage, Among them was a Quaker. As
considerable time was on their hands,thcy'
naturally entered into conversation,which
took the direction of temperance, and
soon became quite animated. One of the
company did not join with the rest. He
was a large portly man, v,ell dressed, and
of gentlmanly bearing. There were sharp
thrusts at the liquor business and those en
gaged in it. Indeed, the whole subject
was throughly canvassed and handled
without gloves. Meanwhile this gentle.
man stowed himself away in one corner
and maintained a stoical silence. After
enduring it as long as he could, with a
pompous and magisterial manner he broke
silence and said : . "Gentlemen, I want
you to understand that I ant a liquor sel
ler. I keep a public house, but I would
have you know that I have a license, and
keep a decent house. I don't keep loaf:
era and loungers about my place, and
and when a man has enough he can get
no more at my bar. I sell to decent peo
ple and do a respectable business. When
he had delivered himself, he seemed to
feel as though he had put a quietus on the
subject, and thatto answer could be giv
en. Not so, thought our friend the Qua
ker, so he went for him. Said he :
"Friend, that is the most damning part of
thy business. If thee would only sell to
drunkards and loafers, thee would held
kill off the race, and society would be rid
of them. But thee takes the young, the
pure, the innocent, and the unsuspecting,
and make drunkards and loafers of them;
and when their character and money are
gone, thee kicks them out and turns them
over to' other shops•to be finished off ; and
thee 'ensnares others and sends them on
the same road to ruin." Surely the good
Quaker had the best of the argument, for
he had facts on his side.
In reference to Dr.,Dio Lewis's threat
ened crusade against tobacco, after the
whisky war is over, the Sunbury American,
says : "Now don't. What's the use of
getting that notion into there heads ? If
they go for those who drink and smoke
they'll have:to enlist for a longer time
than during their life-time, for about eve
ry person who don't drink smokes; and
those who don't do . either have some oth
er habit equally as bad. The fact is, this
thing of reform is such a big undertaking
and so general in its application, that a
bout the only way to reach it is to appUint
each one a committee of one, to take care
of himself or herself, and see that they do
not indulge to excess in anything, wheth
er in eating, drinking, talking or dress
It takes 49 yds for a fashionable dress.
Death of Prince William.
Prince William, son of Henry I king
of England, was a, young man of great
promise. His'father love& him tenderly,
and designed that he should be his suc
cessor to the throne of England. On a,
certain occasion king Henry took the
young prince with him to France, and on
their return a fair wind soon carried the
ship in which the king was out of sight of
land ; but• the • Prince being detained by
Some accident, his sailors spent the inter
val in drinking, and becoming intoxicat
.ed they ran the ship upon a rock where
she immediately foundered. The prince
was put into the long boat and might-have
escaped, but , hearing the cries of his sis
ter, Maud, he got the sailors to row back
in hopes of saving her ; but so many. then
crowded into the boat that it sank, and
the prince with all his followers perished.
When this sad intelligence was communi
cated to the king s he fainted, and was nev
er afterwards known to smile again.
In allusion to this touching incident
the followinc , beautiful lines were written
by Mrs. Hemans:
The bark that held a prince went down,
The sweeping waves rolled on,
And what was England's glorious crown
To him that wept a son ?
He lived, for life may long be borne
Ero sorrow break his chain;
Why comes not death to those who mourn?
He never smiled again.
There stood proud forms around his throne,
The stately and the brave ;
But which could fill the place of one ?
That one beneath the wave.
Before him passed the young and fair,
In-pleastreEi-wreek4ess4r: ,
But7seas dashed o'er his son's bright hair;
He never smiled again.
He sat where festal bowls went round ;
He heard the minstrel sing ;
He saw the tourney's victor crowned,
- Amid the hnightly ring.
A murmer of the restless deep
Was blent with every strain ;
A voice of winds that would not sleep ;
He never smiled again.
Hearts in that time closed o'er the trace
Of vows once fondly poured ;
And strangers took the kinsman's place
At many a joyouS board.
Graves which true love had bathed with
Were left to heaven's bright rain ;
Fresh hopes were born for other's years;
He never smiled again.
How to Escape the Trap.
I saw a good story lately that was
headed, "How to escape the trap." It is
a sort of fable. The story says that a
company of rats once. met in the cellar
of a. house, to consult together about their
safety. A large steel trap had been set
in that cellar. It was baited with a good
big piece of cheese, which smelled very
nice, and which they wanted very much
to get at. But they had seen a number
of their friends killed and 'wounded by
this trap. In this way they had learned
that it was a dangerous thing to meddle
with. And now they had met together
to see if they could not find out some way
of ;getting that nice cheese out of the trap
without any injury to themselves. Many
long speeches were made, and Many plans
suggested, hut none of them seemed to
answer. At last one of them got up and
said :
"I move that a committee of two of
the strongest among us be appointed to
attend to this business. And I. think if
one of the committee will put his paws
upon the spring and keep it down, then
the other can take away the cheese with
This seemed to meet with great favor.
They agreed that this was tie best plan
that had been suggested, and they uttered
a loud squeal in favor of it.
But just then they were startled by a
feint voice, and a poor lame rat, with on
ly three legs, came limping into the mee
ting, He stood up to speak, and said :
"My friends, I have tried the plan that
has just been proposed, and you see the
result. I lost my, ler , by it; that is what
it cost me. Nowlet me give you my ad
vice, If you want to escape the dangers
of that trap, the best way is to let it alone.
Don't touch it. Don't go near it."
And this is one of the ways in which
Jesus, our guiding star, keeps us out of
danger. Every 'sin is like a trap. We
cannot go near it' without danger. And
the advice which us, when we
arc tempted to any kind of sin, is always
the same. He says: Let it alone. Flee
from it. The best way to escape the trap
is not to go near it.—Rev. D. Newton.
"OLD 51ArDs."A recent writer ex
presses his opinion of old maids in the
following manner:'"l am inclined to think
that many of the satirical asperations cast
upon old maids tell more to their credit
than is generally imagined. Is a young
woman remarkably neat in her person ?
she will certainly be an old maid." Is she
particularly. reserved toward the other
sex ? "she has all the squeamishness of an
old maid."• Is she frugal in her expens•
es and exact in her dombstic concerns ?
"she is cut out for an old maid ?" And
if she is kindly humane to the animals a
bout her nothing can save her from the
appellation an "old maid." In short, I
have always found that neatness, modesty,
economy and humanity are the never-fail
ing characteristics of that terrible crea
ture, an 'old maid': " '
If some one would only get up a sew
ing machine to collect rents, mend man
ners and repair family breaches what a
sale it would have.
SAI2, low as 6 . ceuts a yard
Dewdrops of #se Law of Kindness.
No man, boy, or girl is too poor, too
old, or too young to do kind acts. Such
acts need not to be great and brave, as
the world holds the deeds it crowns with
praise. ItAs the heart that one puts in a
kind act that God looks at, and which
gives it all the worth it has in his sight.
Some few years since, the wife of a pour
man who had long been dead, though
poor and old, paid for kind acts done her
in a way that I will tell you of. She dwelt
in a gap in the wild woods far from the
town. Her one child, a girl of twelve
years, lived with her, and she fed and
clothed both with what she could 'earn by
hard toil. She kept a large lot of hens,
and their eggs she took to a town ten
miles from her small but in the woods.—
She at first walked all the way, for she
was too poor to ride on the railroad train
that passed near her. But the man who
had charge of it came to know her as she
walked to and fro: •- He was a kind man,
and thought he did no wrong to the men
who owned the road when he gave . her a
ride to and from town free of charge. All
the men. on the train were kind to her,
and loved to say a good word to her.
Well, the day came when this poor old
Anne could pay, in what-was worth far
more than gold, for all these kind words,
thoughts and acts.
Once, in the rough month of March,
when the deep snows felt the sun, and
flowed down the high hills in deep and
swift streams, and the winds blew, and
the floods beat upon the bridge that cross
ed a deep, black chasm near her house,
she heard a loud, long crash in the dead
of the night. The floods, with their thick
blocks of ice. had crushed it like the shell
of an eg_. The night was black and wild.
- e-win s-1 ew—an -t a rain fell fast
In one half hour the train which had
borne her to town once a:week, free of
charge, would be due at the bridge. The
life of the kind man in charge of it, and
the lives of all on board, hung under God,
on what she could do in that half hour,—
She did not waste one breath of time on
the thought that came swift to her mind.
She cut the cords of her one bed, and
took the dry posts and side-beams in her
arms, and climbed up to the track of the
railroad, a few rods from the steep walls
of the bridge that was gone. Her young
girl took both of their chairs, with a nan
full of live coals. In quick time the * dry
wood was in a blaze, and made a light
that could be seen a long way. But the
fire would soon go out and they could not
feed its flame with the wet, green wood iu
reach. The old dame took off her red
gown, and put it at the eud of a stick, and
stuck it up on the track a few rods from
the fire, and there she stood with a heart
that quaked with fear.
She had done all she could. Would it
save the train and all on board from a
death so full of dread to think a ? She
will soon know. Hark lit conies at full
speed. She hears it on the far side of a
curve in the road. There l its great red
eye conies in sight, and casts its light on
the rails all the way to the red .gnwn on
the pole. Sharp it screams like a live
thing on the edge of death. It quakes
with dread. A cry and shout run from
end to end. The men at the brakes bend
with all there strength to check the speed.
The wheels grind so hard on the rails that
they strike-fire in the rain and dark.—
They now turn round More slow. A rod
from the blaze of the bed, posts and two
chairs, the train comes to a stop.
On the black edge of that deep chasm,
filled with the loud flood, piled high with
blocks of ice, the train stops. Then all on
board see what a death they have been
saved from. First the kind man in charge
comes to the front and looka down that
chasm. Then he kneels by the still wheels
so near its edge, and sends up his thanks
through the rain to God for his grace.—
The men with bard bands at the brakes
come and kneel down by his side, and
thank God with hearts too full for words.
Then all those on board, who had slept
up to the verge of that swift death, come
and kneel in line, and in a long . row they
thank God that he basso saved them thro'
the means of the poor old dame and her
young glrl,
So you see that, in this case, kind acts
paid for all the thought, and for all else
they cost. The man in charge of the train
and the men at the brakes judged right
when they felt that they did no wrong to
those who owned the road when they gave
her rides free of charge. Did they not all
get their
. pny for these kind acts ? And
does not this case prove that no one is so
poor or so young that lie or she may not
do such acts in thought, 'look or deed ?
For sometimes looks, words or thoughts
are acts which take hold of the hearts of
men and do them gOod.
HELL.—This is what Prof. Swing, who
was lately tried for heresy by the Chicago
Presbytery,thinks of hell: "The lost world
! is a place, not where God is seen as the cru
el monster, but where the human free will
.stand forth in all its divine powers, and
reveals a self-punishment over which we
can almost imagine the Heavenly Father
himself to shed tears: Such is the per
dition of reason—a place not where the Sa
viour and God become an inquisition, but
where the sinner's own will and own heart
have woven themselves garments of perpet
!nal Sackcloth, and where the tears of sot
row fall not from a malicious decree of
'God, passed from eternity, but , fall out of
.the sinner's own wretched soul :and mis
spent life."
Says a wit: "Last year I saw a watch
spring, a note. run, a rope walk, a horse
fly, and the big tree Haves. I even saw
a plank walk, and a Third Avenue bank
run ; but the other day I saw a tree box,
a cat fish, and a stone fence. lam now
prepared to see the Atlantic coast. and the
acific slope.
We all have Faults.
He who boasts of being perfect is per
fect in his folly. ' I have been a good deal
up and down in the world; and I never
did see either a perfect horse or a perfect
man, and I never shall until two Sundays
come together. Yon cannot get white
flour out of a coal-sack,nor perfection out
of human nature ; he who looks for it had
better look for sugar in the sea. The old
saying is, "Lifeless, faultless." Of dead
men we would say nothing but.good, but
as for the living, they are all tarred more
or less with black brush, and half an eye
can see it. Every head has a soft place
in it, and every heart has its black drop.
Every rose has its prickles, and every day
its night. Even the sun shows spots, and
the skies are darkened with clouds. No
body is so wise butF he has folly enough
to stock a stall at. Vanity Fair. Where
I could not see the fool's cap, I have nev
ertheless heard the bells jingle. As there
is no sunshine without shadowsso all hu 7
man good is mixed up more oiless of *e
vil ; even poor law guardians have their
little failings, and parish beadles aro not
wholly of heavenly nature. The best wine
has its lees. All men's faults are not writ
ten on their foreheads, and its quite as
well they aro not, or hats would need wide
brims; yet as sure as ergs, faults of some
kind nestle in every man's bosom. There
is no telling when a man's faults may
show themselves, for hares pop out of a
ditch when you are not looking for them.
A horse that is weak in the ltnees may
not for a mile or two, but it is in
him, and the rider had better bold him
up well. The tabby cat is not lapping
milk just now, but leave the dairy door
open, and we will see if she is not as bad
a thief as the kitten. There's fire in the
gets a knock at it, and you will see. Ev
erybody .can read that riddle, but it is not
everybody that will remember to keep his
gunpowder out of the way of the candle.
Anecdote of . "Old Thad."
Pierre M. B. Yontig, now a representa
tive in Congress from Miisissippt, a con
federate General and a graduate of West
Point tells this story of Old Thad. Stev
ens. Young came to Washington soon
after the war, seeking to have his, disabil
hies removed. He accepted the results
of the war in good faith'. He went to Thad
,Stevens, who was chairman of the Elec.
tion Committee, and Thad. began to play
with him, as he sometimes did with those
whom he intended to make his
He said : "You are a graduate of West
Point, - .1 believe ?"
"Yes, sir."
"Educated at the expense of thi; United
States, I believe, which you swore_faith
fully to defend ?"
"Yes, sir."
"You went into the service for the in
fernal rebellion."
"Yes, sir."
'You were brigade commander in the
raid into Pennsylvania, which destroyed
the property of so many of my constitu
ents ?"
"Yes, sir." •
"It was a squad of men. under your di
rect charge, and under your personal
command, hat burned my rolling mill
down ?"
"Yes, sir."
"Young thought he was gone, but see
ing that the old fellow bad come in pos
session of the last fact, which Young.him
self did not dream he knew, it was impos
sible to deny the truth of his questions.
Thad. roared out, "Well, I like your d—d
impudence. I will see that your-disabil
ities are removed. Good morning." And
the next !day the bill passed the house.
Love is life. Selfishness is death. Think
of one who has no throb outside of him
self ; is he not entombed in a grave more
dark than that of earth? The moment
one begins to love, if only a dog, he be
gins to live. To love something that is
different from one's self—a flower, a star,
a human soul—what is in it, what stir of
all the faculties Oh; the manifold lith
of love ! How it flows and streams away
on evety side, in love of father and moth
er, sister and brother, husband and wife,
and friend and little children, of the tin
niest speck and grandest a,h. We rejoice
in all things. Every sound is a delight.
We are alive all over.
Life is full of thorns, cried one and an
other, but on they rush with the crowd,
seeming to care but little what seed each
word and action sows—whether thistles
or lillks of the valley—in its broad paths.
Yes, life is full of thorns, but those which
are the sharpest and oftenest are the'ones
which our own hands have planted along
the wayside of our pilgrimage—thorns we
plant in carelessness, in selfishness, in
pride and passion ; and if in. after years
we come into shape and painful contact
with them, let us not Waite the world so
much as ourselves.
There is something that touches the
heart in the last moment of a dog that, di
ed in Lansingburg, N: Y., the other day,
at the age of twenty-four years. The old
fellow had hardly stirred from his rug - for
some days; he arose stiffly, crawled with
difficulty up stairs, visited every room in
the house, seemed to bid a farewell to all
familiar objects, came back to his mas
ter's feet, and died without a struggle.
Stott county Minnesota,.claims the most
extensive Limburger cheese factory iu the
West. One hundread and twenty cows
contribute to the formation of the article.
The cheese is declared tole 'ripe when a
piece the size of a beau will drive a dog
out of a Lanyard.
• An English,physician says that the first
moral and phys i cial duty of evervJuumui
being is to be elem.
$2,00 PER YEAR.
CU and Muer.
Why is a thunder storm like an onion?
Because it is peal on peal. -
"If you are courting a girrsays a Cal- T
ifornia paper, •`stick to her, no•matter how
big her father's feet are."
A pugilistic Irishman in England be
ing bound over to, keep the peace on all
British subjects, remarked : "The saints
help the first foreigner I meet." '
A eorgia negro' was buried so deep by
the caving of a well that it took four hours
to unearth him. When found he was•
alive and Well: He said he never wanted
to aneeze . .so bad in his life, but was afraid
lie vould jar down some more dirt
"What .brought-you-to-prison,-mfeol
ored friend ?" - said 'a Yankee to a negro.
"Two constables, sali." "Yes, but I inean
had intemperance anything to do with it?'
"Yes, sob, dey was bofe of 'en drunk."
Uneasy lies the fair head of the hotel'
girl of Terre Haute, who has inherited
-840,000 in gold, fir by all aspiring young
men of those parts She is persistently ser•'
A' man in an adjoining county died re
cently who had taken his county paper
twelve years without payincr 6 for it. Up
on the day of his burial the kind-hearted,
forgiving editor called to see him, and,
stuffed a linen. duster and a pair .of palm
leaf fans into his coffin. He was sprepar-.
ing hint for a warmer clitnate.
Johnny 8., aged five,
13- asked his father
ty-ithe-sta 1m ere: 'matlfh--T-Ii
father, thinking the lad had conceived'
some queer notion as to the use of the
heavenly bodies, said: .
"No, do you."
'"Yes, it never rains when the stare
shine, so - they . must have been Made• fel
plug up the rain-holes."
:One evening lately, a lecturetort spirit
ualism observed a lady in deep mouining
leaving the ball. He addressed her from,
the platform, and asked her to wait 'a fear
moments, as the spirit of her . husl►and.
wished to con►municate with her. know,
it,' she replied, ihr he is now at tbe . door
waiting to escort me dome.' The lecturer
adjourned early, and left town the next
day. • , ,
They tell a queer story about the doc
tors in a certain Texas town, who were,
all last summer to attend a medical. con
veution. They were absent about: - tiro' •
months, and on their return found all•their
patients, hadreCovered,the drug stores,bpd
closed, the nurses opened dancing sch Pol?,
the cemetery was cut up into building lots,
the undertakers had 'gone to making :a:
dies, and the hearse had been painted and
sold for a circus wagon.
An Irishwoman, at a 3oss for..a4ord,,
went into a chemist's '
and 'looking 'much
puzzled, said .:he had come for .ttiedicine,
the name had,slipped hertnern,OVlV l if,9l';
ly," but sounded like 'Paddy:364e oar'
ret." The druggist, being tOrliOliiAt'
sale, tried to think what it ,couldlici,':iinat
hit upon paregoric. '"lndade; thin; that's'
it," said she; and obtaining the, medicinc.,,
went away delighted that she ~ltad comp
so near the right word.. .
Commie% Brerr. -Among the
waiting passengers at the Central depot,
Saturday, says the Detroit' Free Prep.,
were a widow woman and five children,
and by and by a man'who was Waiting
for the same train opened a - conversation'
with the widow and soon 'remarked 'he'd
like to marry such a little woman: "acre.,
Susan hold this satchel !" said-the woman,
turning to her oldest daughter, And then' •
reaching for the man's arm she continued:
"I've been looking for you about -live
years ?" Everybody shouted and jumped
in glee, and when the scapegoat backed
flat down they said he ought to be &nip
ed into the river.
A young mother Was in the habit of
airing the baby's clothes at the windoW;'
her husband didn't like it, and believimi(
that it' she saw her practice as others. saw
it, she would desist, he so directed their
afternoon walk as to bring the nursery,
window in full view from the central park,
of Stopping abruptly, he pointr,:, ,
ed to the offending linen flapping occasion- -
ally, unconsciously in the breeze, and ask='
ed sarcastimily : "My dear, what is that
displayed in our window ?"
"Why," she replied, "that is the ; flag of
our union."
Conquered by this pungentug retort, he
saluted the flag by a swing of his hat, and
pressing his wife's arm closer .within: his.
own. and said, as they walked horneward:
"And long may it wave.".-
A young lady in 'a
neighboring town,,
one day last week, went into a dry goods
store and- thuß unburdened herself:
"It is my desire to obtain a pair of eir-
Cular elastic appendages, capable ofbeing
contracted or expanded by means oscilla
ting, burnished steel appliances that spa rk
le Ilse particleS of gold leafeet with Cape
May diamonds, And which are utiliied for
retainin , c• in proper position the habili
meats of the lower estermities which in
nate delicacy forbids me to mention."
The vender of calicos was nonplus-6i,
but not wishing to appear ignorant, said
that he WILI "just. OUt. '
After. her departure he ruminated in
silence for a few moments, when , a, new
light broke upon his distracted brain and
ho bust with:
"By thunder! , ,1:11 bet, .t.}-4,.;,wontan•
tsanted a.p:lir of garter ."
• Linktrent tri cirnuat4 t .
freely anNntr, the Indiana of . tbeti'n'ytlt-,..; - ..
`rest, Who , lake then' "fur greeribackl;:.