BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 26.
A tuft pottrg.
Look not to the past for pleasure,
Nor yet to the future turn,
Far the past has filled its measure
Let it lie in memory's urn.
Nor the Pad, nor yet the Future,
Can we mortals call our on
Only ours the living Presentr--
Here doze w.e have .our home.
Memory throws .deceitful glamour
Backward - ceetthe path - of life—
Smoothing over the roughest places,
Co v'ri ug .up the .sceues .of strife,
Little joys.and little sorrows,
Woof aind warp together wrought,
Make the texture of the fabric •
That the past to us has.brought.
Hope stands by with lifted finger,
Pointing to-ii future stare—
tzweetly whispering that obtaining
You'll be happy evermore.
Dar Hug Hope but cheats our fancies
Does us :wrong in doing this,
Takes us from the living resent
To the future for our bliss.
This we see not. sweetly nestling
'Round the path th ro' which we tread,
Sweetest flowers of joy and gladness
It but to crown.our head,
:Look . not forward to the Future—
Look not hackle the Past,
,Turn you to the living Present—
, In - d - in - this your joy att.l ,
atisullaureus grading..
MONEY AT INTEREST.
11Y MRS. A. E. BARR.
It is twenty-five years since my little
story began, and I wonder what made me
remember it to-day! Nothing in the sur
,riunding circumstances I am sure, yet in
rue midst of this crowded city while the
the streets were yet full of light and 'life,
all at once, as I thought of that gray
cool evening, the silent sweetness of the
lonely garden, and the plaintiff cry of
some lost huab on the mountains. illy
uncle had gone nearly two hours before
to see at dying child in the village; but
the twilight lingers long in that northern
latitude, and so, though it was nearly 10
o'clock, I put on my bat and sauntered
down the little bridge-path to meet him.
I had not far to go, but I was much as:
tonished to 'find him accompanied by a
young man known as "Dark Harry Hen
shawe." I3oth of them seemed to be un•
der great emotion, the doctor took my
hand s lently, and young Henshawe nei
ther raised4hise3es nor opened his mouth.
knew that he had a very bid'name in
all country side, and that the shadow of
a great crime hung over him, therefore .
my astonishment Was still greater When
he followed my uncle into his study and
after remaining there a few minutes went
away again, without speaking a word ter
any of the family.
"Well !" said MS Mary, "after that,
What ''
"Uncle to supper, I suppose; rerhaps
he will explain.
But he did not„ until prayers were ov
er and the servants in their room; then
he told us that Harry had demanded mon•
cy from him on his way home in a way
which left no doubts as to his intentions.
"What did you ,do, uncle? Did you
give him money ?"
"I said, 'so, no, Harry; what J have
on me is not worth the taking; but if you
will walk beside me, and tell me all your
trouble, I will lend you enough to make
a man of you agaip. "
Aunt Nary looked injured, and her
knitting needles spoke for her.
'Pool be grieved, wifie ! The lad has
been driven to destruction by iitlse accus
ation, and he's innocent; upon my word,
I believe he's innocent".
`•"Cry well. If you know better than
judge and jury and all the country side,
of course bests inpoeent."
"God ofte,n reveals to charity, Mary,
Ythat he hides from wisdom. The boy is
innocent; I intend to help him :to prove
it r
"How ? By a new trial ?"
"No. By. a new life. I have loaned
him $lOO and he has gone to 'f'exas."
"Not a very good reformatory school,
I should. think."
"Where •God directs the discipline, ev
ery school is good. Come, wifie, be hope
ful and charitable."
Next day I heard from Aunt IYtar7
.something of the young man's history.—
Three summers - ago he had forthed the
acquaintauce.of a gentleman who, partly
as a tourist and partly as a sportsman,
had spent several mouths in the neighbor
hood. For many weeks their friendship
had been a marvel, then either familiari
ty I , red contempt or jealousy kindled ha
tred. They quarreled openly and furi
ously. Three days afterwards the body
of the stranger was found terribly man
gled at the foot of 13arrow's COO; and
Harry was arrested for the mnrder. lie
was eventually acquitted for want of evi
dCuce but he found every one's late dark
and every one's heart hard against him ;
not even the woman he loved believed
him •innoceut, and he suffered keenly from
that negative punishment which is more
grievous than many stripes. Ho sunk
loner and lower, and the previous night,
in a drunken brawl, had struck to the
ground one of his companions. Not car
ing to undergo the imprisonment and sus
pene which would be the result, he stop
pr..4 my nude and de:1;4340 taol4q to
flee with.. He got it, and also something
far better,"for every gift of noble origin
is breathd upan by hope's, perpetual
breath." I thought at intervals during
a few weeks of the dark reckless face
which had looked into my life for a mo
ment, and then he passed, as I supposed,
forever into the shadow land• of memory.
Twelve years afterwards I found my-.
self,—one-hot-night in the middle of Au
gust sailing up the Buffalo bayou, a beau
tiful lagoon in southeastern Texas. Up
the narrow stream, darkened by its ar
cade of live oaks and magnolias, we slow
ly made our way. The hot perfumed air,
the :unreal spectral look of everything,
gave me the sensation of dreaming. On
all the crew and passengers a kind of
hushed tranquilly had fallen, broken on
ly by slow laboring of the engine, or the
lazy thud of some alligator -taking—the
water. I noticed now, for the first time,
how silence is intensified by sympathetic
numbers, then it is complete, a "loneli
ness to be felt," but the soul bathes in
such stillness, and hears in it "something
which throws antiquity itself into the
foreground." It lasted long ; but just as
I was beginning to feel it oppressive, we
came to an opening in the dense 'foliage,
and a clear, strong voice said, "Wake up,
strangers ! this is the battle field of San
Jacinto." Then we gathered - round him
while he told — in wor• s a move( e
heart like a trumpet, the old story over
ann . in: How the land was sick with ty
ranny, and could be cured with nothing
but blood. And as the trees parted more
and more, and the moon shown full on
the speaker, suddenly there came to my
remembrance the cold, fresh northern air,
the solemn mountains and the misty moor
lands, and I said, "Harry Henslutwe !"
"That is my name, madam. Pardon
me, if I. forget yours."
""You never heard mine, but you will
remember Carsbrook, and the old man
whom everybody called Dr. Will."
Then he took my hand and kissed it,
just as I had seen him kiss my uncle's
when they stood together in the dying
daylight, the savioraud the saved. When
we were alone he told me his bubsequent
history—there was nothing remarkable
in it, he had hired himself at first to a
large stock raiser, but had prospered so
well that now he himself owned a fine
rancho and quite a patriarchal number of
horses, cattle, and sheep.
"Are you married ?" I asked.
"No, no !" lie replied sorrowfully, "An
nie turned against me in my trouble, and
I've been afraid to trust another woman."
After a few minutes silence he added,
"My home is in the far West, beyond
San Antonio, and it is hardly likely we
shall meet again."
"But the eternal future is before us.—
If we part here which' way do you go !"
"Heavenward, madam, I trust," and
he looked into my face with a grave, but
,happy assurance.
"My uncle's loan is paid, I suppose?"
"The end of the first year saw the prin
cipal paid ; the interest I pay regularly
to every poor miserable fellow I see. If
I say a word of promise to some dispair
ing wretch, I tell him, "That is what Dr.
Will said to me;" and if I help him to
a few needful dollars, I say, "That's the
interest of what Dr. Will set me on my
feet with ;" and it is very seldom, madam
the gift goes to the bad, fur every unsel
fish gift prospers."
"Dr.. Will would be a happy Man if he
could see and hear you to-day."
"He will be happy enough when we
both stand before God, and I say, "I was
going to hell, and this good man stopped
me, he did not pass by on the other side
and leave ine with the irreparable.' !'
There were team in both our eyes woes
1 1 ) ,
after a ,short pause he wont on, "And t G 3
goad did not stop with me ; on ray wa
I met other -weary and sinful souls, tmd
stopped them ; and so them is quite
little company walking heavenward th t
would have been going the other Way Nit
for Dr. Will's 5100. Nay, there are some
I honestly believe safe there already, and
so when his time comes lie will find
friends there—frieLds made by the 'mam
mon of unrighteousness who will receive
him into everlasting habitations."
When we parted I felt so kindly to
him that I said, "Farewell, Harry l , You
see I call you by your Christian name.'
And he smiled rather sadly and an
swered, "SO I think Christians should
call one another."
I think today of that solemn parting
by the garden gate, when the young n
made the vow he kept, and the old inn
cheered and blessed and helped hum; and
I . try to imagine that blessed meeting
when the souls those precious words and
that $l.OO saved, come in the garb of
the shining ones to welcome the old man
home and I know there will be rejoicing
among the angels, and better than all the
Master's assured thanks, "Tbon didst it
unto N . 8." .
TIIE SAEBATTI.—The Sabbath day is
the beautiful river iu the week of time.
The other days are troubled streams
whose angry waters are disturbed by the
countless crafts that float upon them; but
the pure river Sabbath flows on to Eter
nal Rest, chanting the sublime music df
the silent, throbbing sphere.% and timid
by the pulsatiops of the Everlasting Life.
Beautiful river Sabbath glide on ! Bear
forth on thy bosom the poor tired spirit
to the rest which it seeks, and the weary
unteliing soul to endless bliss.
There is nothing so tends to shorten
the lives of old people and to injure their
health, as the practice of sitting up late,
especially when there is a grown up
daughter in the family. We publish this
item at the earnest request of several
young men.
Mali up,
"' W ; $ v 1 i $ quit . I :. )
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA, THURSDAY, APRIL 9, 1874.
From the Dead.
In a- town of Northern New York a
poor man went to his grave by a disease•
of the brain, concerning which the medi
cal authorities difibred widely and mi.-
moniously. In fact, two particularphy
sicians, who had long been _professional
rivals, so radically disagreed as to the ex
act character of the case, that - when — he
Whose treatment prevailed could not save
the patient, the other did not hesitate to
allege that the sick man had been destroy
ed by ignorant mismanagement. When
a respectable practitioner casts such an
imputation upon a member of his own
professional school he should be pretty
confident of his own ability to prove it,
and the accuser in the present instance
was not unaware of his imperative obli=
gation to substantiate his accusation. But
- how was that - tobe - done?-11e-had
firm
ly maintained that the disease in ques
tion was caused by a tumor, and that the
removal of the same by an operation
would same_the_patien_Cs life. ' His rival
insisted that there was no tumor, and con
sequently did not perform the operation.
Now, how was it to be practically demon- .
started that the tumor did not exist, if the
patient was in his grave ? There was but
one way of doing that, and the doctor a
dopttd it. -
i_a_Christmas_esLe,_u_eariaidnigh t, wh en
lights shown brightly from homes far and
at hand, and the snow lay crisply on the
ground, the professional disputant, whose
truth and standing were at stake, as he
censidered_ in the matter, took a confiden
tial student of his with him in a sleigh to
the graveyard, where he had the hapless I
subject of dispute, and rapidly and.eileet
ly disinterred the poor body and placed it
in the vehicle. Then whip was given to
the horse, and away started the sleigh on
the snowy road back to the surgery.
But scarcely had the desecrators of
man's last resting-place got under 'way
with their ghastly prize when the muffled
beat of horses' hoofs somewhere iu the
darkness behind them told that they had
been watched and Were being pursued.—
Sharper fell the whip, and the spirited
young animal before the sleigh went like
wind; yet still the pursuing hoof-beats
sounded 'through the keen air, showing
that the pursuer was well mounted. Turn
ing from the main road into a by-way, or
short cut, leading through a swampy piece
of woods, the fugitives managed to gain e
nough distance to stop the sleigh a mo
ment at the edge of a plank-bridge over
a frozen woudhual stream, and stretch a
rope across the dark and marrow road.—
This denc, they were off again for the sur
gery close at hand, with the gallop of the
pursuer coining sharply to their ears,—
Pausing once again behind the bridge, to
hear presently the collisiou of the coining
horseman with the unseen rope, a crash,
and a cry of wrath, the two men carried
the body triumphantly depositing it up
on a dissecting-table.
Then, thinking of nothing but his own
disdeedited diagnosis of the disease, and
the glary it would be to prove it true, the
daring practitioner set to work with his
instruments. Carefully shaving one side
of his head and cutting through the spot
where the principal pain had been, lie
bored with his trephine through the skull
until a circular button:of bone, about as
large as a copper cent, was removed, and
behold, there was, indeed, the tumor ! but
the strangest scene in the curious dranut
was yet to come, and may be best describ
ed in the doctor's own terms, as they apr
pear in an extract from his posthumous
papers lately published in the Water
town, (N. Y.) Dispatch : "With no small
degree of self satisfaction, threw down my
instrument and was going down stair',
when I heard a faint sigh,. As I knee -
ed by the dead man's side, and, candle i
hand, gased anxiously into his palid fe. -
tures, he feebly gasped and raised h s
eyelids. My God 1 could it be a real& ?
Eagerly the slender thread of life w s
seized upon, and hour by hour, day -
day, week by weer, it was strengthen I
into a cable of perfect health."
In other words, the supposed dead man
whose disinterment had occurred but a
few hours after burial, had been only in
sensible iiTystl of dead, and the removal
of the tumorous pressure on his brain was
just in time to save his life. Another
strange discovery was that on the same
Christmas night, the doctor who had de
nied the tumor had broken his arm by
falling from his horse ! Suspecting what
his rival intended, be too, had ridden se
cretly to the graveyard, and was the pur
suing horseman whom the concealed robe
across the road signally overthrew.
FE !ALE Socmy.—What is it that
makes all thoes men who associate habit
ually with women, superior to others who
do not ? What makes that woman who
is accustomed to, and at ease in the society
of men, superior to her sex in general ?
Solely because they
,Tt.re in the habit of
free, graceful, continued conversations
with the, other sex. Women in this way
lose their frivolity, their faculties awaken,
their delicacies and peculiarities unfold
all their beauty and captivation in the
spirit of intellectual rivalry. And the
men lose their pedantic, rude, d9claaiato•
ry, or sullen manner. The coin of the
understanding and the heart changes con
tinually. Their asperities are rubed otE
their better materials polished and bright
ened, and their richness, like the gold, is
wrought into finer workmanship by the
fingers of women than it ever could be by
those of men. The iron and steel of their
characters are hidden, like the character
and armor of a giant by studs and knots
of good and precious stones, when they
are not wanted in actual warfare.
The man is a fool who will try to do
as his neighbor does, when he cannot
Ittr,)rd !t,
SOLOMON BAY.
BY UGENE E. HAM .
A hard, close man was Solomon Ray ;-
.Nothing of value he. gave away;, •
Be hoarded and shaved
And he pinched and saved,
And the more he had the more he craved
The hard-earned dollar ho toiled to gain
Brought him little but care and pain ;
For little he spent,
And all that he lent
He7made it bring him twenty per cent,
This was the life of Solomon Ray,
The years went by, and his hair grow gray;
His cheeks grew thin;
And.his heart within
Grew hard as the dollar he worked to win.
But he died one day, as all men must,
Forlifele - fleetingand - mairbut - dust - ;
And the heirs were gay
That laid him away ;.
This was the end of Solomon Ray.
They quarreled now, who had littled eared
For Solomon Ray while his life was spared;
His lands were sold,
And his hard-earned gold
All went to the lawyers, I am told.
Yet men will pinch, and cheat, and save,
Nor =wry their treasures beyond the grave;
All their gold, some dax,
Will melt away,
Like the selfish savings of Solomon Ray,
The Terrible Playfellow.
One day--there-name—into—a-country
town in the south of Germany a man lead
ing a big dancing bear. He was'very
tired and hungry, so he went to one of the
inns in the town, and having tied up the
bear, sat down in the taproom to eat his
dinner.
While lie sat there, three little children
were playing merrily, in one of the op
stairs-rooms. They were quite alone, and
very noisy,.until one of them heard a cu
rious noise on the stairs, to which they all
began to /ken. Tramp, tramp I crank,
crank, crank ! What a heavy foot ! Who
can it be ?
Sudanly the door fleW open, and in
came the bear—the great shaggy bear,
with its clanking chain I In a terrible
fright at this unexpected visit, each of
the poor little children ran into a corner
to hide, But the-bear found them all oat,
and put his cold nose quite close to them,
tbr he was not muzzled now, moat at
them, but did them no harm. Poor,
harmless old beast 1 be was very much al
tered since the days when he hid in the
forest, or climbed up the great trees to
steal honey left there by Wild bees.
"He must be a big- dog," thought the
eldest boy, and so he began to pat and
stroke him. Then the bear stretched
himself out at full length on the floor,
arid all ones came up to him and
began to play with him like a big puppy.
The youngest sat down, nestled his curly
head in the black far, and the eldest boy
began to thump away with all his might
upon a little drum he had. Suddenlythe
bear stood up upon his bind legs and be
gan to dance: Then what a cry of delight
came from the children ! You should
have heard it. \flint glorious fun ?
Each' of the little boys had a toy musket
With which they had been playing soldiers,
and they had gave one of these to the bear,
and In their intense delight he herd it
tight and firm, and shouldered it just like
a soldier.
So the drum was banged and they all
began to march, the room shaking again
with the bear's heavy feet, thump, thump,
thump ! bang, bang ! left, right, right, left,
march away.
In midst of all this noise and tramping,
the door suddenly opened arid there stood
the poor mother. You should have seen
her. Her face wee white ; she could not
speak for fear.
But the children set up a cry of joy:
"Oh, look, mamma ! we are all playing
at soldiers with this fine playfellow !"
While this was going on the poor man
went into the yard to get his bear, and
finding ho had broken loose, came up
stairs to look for him; and scrthe children
lost their shaggy playfellow, although I
believe their mother was not at all sorry
to see him taken away.—Children's' Hour.
A SHREWD FATEIER.—About a year
ago, if I remember rightly, a story went
the rounds which credited that ingenious
gentleman, the Western man, with having
successfully carried out one of the most
original of plans forgetting his daughters
comfortable settled in life without any
cost whatever to himself. He bad a
large and expensive family. Three out
of four of the daughters were marriagea
ble. They were very pretty girls, and
had many admirers. The father permit
ted them to receive attentions from the
most eligible young men, and to all out
ward appearances seemed perfectly con
tent not to part with his treasures until
he *as asked to do so. Each demand
for consent was the signal for au outburst
of feeling that ended in the sudden exit
of the applicant. The lovers, however,
were not to be prevented from attaining
happiness by what they believed to be
the whim of a selfish father. They eloped,
were married, and forgiven. The real
state of the case was the father could not
afford to buy three suitable outfits, and
pay the expenses of three feasts. Not
seeing any prospect in the immediate
future of being better able to do so, after
ransacking his brain •to find a way out
of the difficulty, heat last concluded to
frown on the young people, and take the
chances of what might Thllow., The elope
ment didn't cost him a cent ; the expanse
of outfits and weddings was saved ; and
his reputation for liberality did notsuffer
in the least, and neighbors continued in
ignorance of the actual condition of his
exchequer.
Spring time is the tine to drink sa.ssar
fra tea.
"Music at Horne."
There was a time when A gushing par•
agraph with this beading illuminated the
pages of every issue of every weekly, bi=
•eekiy, mini-weekly, monthly, and semi
, onthly published all over the ;country.
his brought down upon innocent heads
an inundation of monnipgs and wailings
rem unhappy instruments, which was
popularly supposed to represent music.—
Boys being generally supposed to hate
lenty to do, and rather restive under an
fliction which promises very little re-,
ru, were not disturbed; it was girls, as
sual, that were made the victims of this
ew - fantes, for exhausing time, strength '
nd ' • • • , •• • ~- • n ensa-
— The piano maniti - is one of the most ex
-traordinary results of psychological influ
%lce of modern times. The instrument
itself is very costly ; it occupies a. large
space; it requires separate conveyance' to
move it from place to place, and an ex
pert to take it apart and put it together.
It must be kept in tune by a man hired
for the' purpose, and at least two hours
per day, and an expense for years is the
price of ordinary proficiency in its use.
Yet, in the face of all these obstacles,
piano pounding in its various degrees of
distraction is heard in every house of ev
ery.street in every city, town, village, and
settlement of the Union and its territorial
depend iencies, from - Maine - to - Cal ifornia, -
and Nantucket to and beyond the Rocky
Mountains.
No drib can object to a really good per
formance upon a Weber grand, or a sym
pathetic rendering of charming ballads in
the gray of a cottage twilight. But take
the number and - variety of instruments,
the number and. variety of performers,
the time and money spent, and the result
attained, and let us ask, in a Much abas
ed commercial form of phraseology, does
it pay ?
Two holm per day, exclusive of Sun
days, is in round numbers six hundred
hours in a year—time enough to acquire
two languages, a fair knowledge of }lag-
Rah literature, and some idea. of the art of
conversation—in all of which American
girls are lamentably deficient.
Moreover, facility in playing the piano
is only retained, after it is acquired, by
incessant practice. How many women
play on the piano after they marry ? And
for - flow mauy might not the time have
been put to infinitely better use !
A JUVENILE MONSTER.—A ICentucky
paper gives the following account of a
huge infant, named Dero Edward Cham
bers, and born two years and a half ago,
in Barren co., that State:
"When about three months old he be
gan to &Ann, and soon attracted the se
rious attention• of his parents and immedi
ate friends. His accumulation of fat has
been uninterrupted, and now he exhibits
an obesity of huge aldermauic proportoins.
We visited him and made careful ex
amination and measurement, which we
give to the curious public. His parents
are the reverse of their infantile represen
tative, so far as physical proportion is
concerned.
"The father, Smith E. Chambers, is a
delicate, spare made man, of not vigor
ous look and weighs 127 pounds ; the
mother is small, delicately built and
weighs 114 pounds. Dero, the young
giant, stands in perpendicular measure
ment, 37 inches. The measurement a
round the wrist is 10i inches, and above
the elbow 16i inches. The leg around
the calf gives a circumference of 18 inches,
the thi4h the enormous length around of
28/ while the hip take full 48 inches of
tape to circuit their hugeness. Around
the waist he shows a girth of 42 inches.
His avoirdupois pulls down the scales
easily at 1183: pounds. The child is quite
Potelligeut, can walk with much easier
locomotion than his ponderous, unshapely
form would indicate, and enjoys very
good health."
Evtav MORNING."—fIow many
bright things there are in the book of
Lamentations ! It has a sad title, and in
our happy moods we should hardly think
of turning its leaves. Our instinct would
be to go to it in our grief, to find suitable
utterances in our burdened hours. We
open to its lines as those who walk under
a weeping sky and beneath the rain of
falling tears. But our walk will often,
as we look up, show us a rift in the clouds,
and the blue sky shining through, the
blessed sunshine streaming down. Here
is an utterance that has the sunbeams la
it : "The Lord's mercies. are now every
morning." What an assurance this is to
carry with us in all our wayfaring through
the world.
The future is alwttys dark on us. The
shadows brood it. A veil hides it from
our sight. What is under the shadows,
what is behind the veil, what is advancing
to meet us out of the impervious mist,
none of us can know. We have no anx
ious questions to ask. This is enough for
all that is coming. '"The Lord's mercies
are new every morning."
The Rev. 'Henry Ward Beecher makes
this sensible reply in the Christian. Union
to a query as to whether it is wicked to
dance. "It is wicked when it is wicked,
and not wicked when it is not wicked.—
In itself it has no more moral character
than walking, wrestling, or rowing. Bad
company, untimely hours,evil dances,
may make the exercise evil ; good com
pany, 'wholesome hours, and home influ
ences, may make it a very great benefit."
Mr. Beecher takes a sensible and cor
rect view of dancing. Shaking one's feet
never yet did the harm that has been done
by wagging the tongue—and it would not
do to lay an embargo upon the tongue
because it becomes an unruly member
nor and then.
To Line the tip of a Hat With.
Breach of trust is worse than stealing
outright. •
Don't chew a tooth pick where any one
can see you.
If you "hawk," spit Tight away, but
not on the floor.
11air•dye is poisonons. Keep the scalp
clean with soap water,
Give full weight and good measure.
That's real religion, as fltr as it goes.
Don't indulge in luxuries if there is
a mortgage on the house you can't call
your own.
.i l ) l luenie to make
a puddle of
. tobacco juice in a public
• 'nveyance -
Never. wear. furs_or_any_kind of wrap-_
ping close about the neck. Taking them
off will induce a cold.
Don!t imagine that every young lady
who treats you pleasantly_ has ever thought_
of marrying you. That's quite another
thing.
When you ride in a horse•car, keep
your elbows to yourself; and your big feet
out of the way of others Who may be
passing throug.h
When the , benediction is pronounced,
leave the church, and don't sto in the
aisles to gossip. Others, not as chatty us
you are, wish to go home.
If you go in debt, don't go in the coun
try next Summer befere you pay. Grocers,
butchers, 'coal-dealers, etc., reasonably ex
pect their little bills settled before yon
leave town.
It is as necessary to be as religious one
day as it is another. To be devout on
Sunday, to carry a prayer book, and bow
down on that day only, will amount to
but little when the - day of reckoning
comes.
When you stop at a crowded hotel and
there .at; many'travelers beside yourself,
don't rush up to the register and demand
a room. Stand back and be modest a
bout it ; the clerk will be sure to see you
then and your chances are better than the
foremost of the crowd.
BADLY BITTEN JUDGE.-4t iS a fact
pretty generally known that in order to
dispose of disorderly characters prompt.
ly at the New York State fairs, ajustice
of the peace holds court continually on
the fair ground. A West Trpy justice
attended to the business last full, and
many offenders were brought before the
"big judge." Among the number arrest
ed was u young man having the appear
ance of a half- witted, overgrown country
boy. He was detected in "scatipg the
fence," and brought up by the poli6eman
to the office of the justice. The lulinerly'
boy admittu,d the charge, but pleaded in
extenuation that he had no money, and
his desire to see "the show had induced
him to commit the wrong. The squire
quickly sentenced him to jail for thirty
days or to pay a fine of five dollars.
The culprit began to cry, saying he
had no money, but the squire was inexor
able, and unless the five dollars were
paid at once the outside would be u
stranger to him for thirty days. After
continuing to blubber, for some time, the
boy said that his mother had sent lritu to
the savings bank in Albany to deposit
fifty dollars, and he had the mouey,with
him.
Well,' said the justice, if you would
avoid goidg to jail, take five dollars out
of your mother's money, and go home
and explain matters to her.'
The hoy finally dreui off one of his cow
hide boats and taking from it a small
piece of newspaper, displayed a fifty dol
lar bill rolled within. With a sorrowful
look and a trembling hand the bank
note was handed to; `his honor,' who re
turned forty five dollars change. This
done, the justice directed the policeman
to take the boy by the collar and thrust
him out of the gate,
which was done by
the blue-coat, who added, by way °fem.
*lsis, a good sound kick. As the pre-
tended greenhorn reached the mail he
was laughed at by the crowd, and in re
ply he said :
"I have finished my business in there."
The next day the squire proceeded Do
deposit the fifty dollars in the bank, when
he was informed that it was counterfeit.
Imagine the feelings of the court."
"Sold," said he, "and got the money."
The justice has decided that "appear
ances are deceptive," and with Tegurd to
the honesty of strangers 'you can't most
always tell.' 2ne squire will keep a
sharp lookout for country pumpkins
hereafter.
WEATHER SIGN9.-"M. Quad" enu
merates the following in "Our Friedide
Friend," as among the most reliable wea
ther signs :
If the pear trees • blossom before the
20th of March, and you notice the cows
and horses rubbing themselves against
the meeting house door, and the top rail
of the fence casts two sepemte shadows, it
argues well for the cowing wheat crop.
If the clouds all move one way during
November, and big girls go barerbot and
tin-peddlers are numerous, and your with
wants a new pair of shoes,and plum trees
grow the most branches on the west side,
the new year will be prolific of thunder
storms an . dlightningrod agents.
If pumpkins are frost-bittettbefore they
turn yellow, and house-rent goes up, find
catnip tea has a bitter tests, and saw-logs
show an inclination to roll up hill, the
potato rot is sure to follow.
It' there are high winds in February,
followed by warm rains, and cattle refuse
to lick' alt, and red-headed girls are con;
spicuous, July will-be a cool month.
$2,00 PER YEAR.
MUIER, 43.
Mil Hutt Xtuitor.
A woman says she mknnot pray ; but
she will shoot the first roani who sells her,
husband liquor.
Vermont brags of a young lady 4m tall
that her lover 'puts on his overcoat when
e climbs up to kiss her.
Charles Mink_ when spcaking_ofoao_
of his rides on horseback, remarked that
'all at once his horse stopped, but he kept
right on."
, The 'scientific mon have settled tbe mat
ter. beyond all question that it : is a mis
take to suppose that the sun is supported
A Danbury boy wants to know ifit is
right for his folks to pay $5OO for kpi
ano fOr his sister, and make hiniipeek
berries for circus money.
A Iboy - waefeauelt stealing chestnuts
near a cemetery. - "What's you name?"
"Tweed," blebberedlthe boy.:, - The farri
er the boy and fled. '
r'" . ''.. ...
..,,
(r corr e spon d en t correspondent of a paper:biting de
scribed a neighboring river as a . ' '-i.Ockly
Stream," the'editor appended the reMiti*,
."T . t'erso—it is confined to its - belt" = =—
Economylis - said to he carried io<IIN
an extent inn, town in Michigan that the
paper mills have been compelled to sus- ,
petal operations for want of rags.
n ansas • Tkeis, if you call - for a plate
of Indian cakes, the waiter puts his hand
to the side of his mouth, and sings out :
"Moddes for one."
An old maid in Massachusetts has twen
ty-eight pet rabbits, and with these for
pets and a hot brick for comfort she man
gee to get along very nicely.
O V A Saratoga belle who, six !maths ago,
was so languid tbat she could Scarcely
support herself at the altar, now throws
a flat-ion fifty-five feet, tuaihits her hus
band every time.
Maryland girls wo 't marry in the f‘lN•ul
of the moon, • ing.that they would
have ill•luek thro i life, but a Penna.
girl wouldn't let f q ty full moons stop hoe
tea seconds. :
Two babies were shipped several htin
tired miles by express in Oftoo, recently,
and arrived at theit destination' all right;
but the 'express agent was almost wont
nut telegraphing ahead for milk, shingles
or,;spanking, and other purposes.
A E remarkably dirty snan stepped in
front of n 3nialt boy sitting on a fence, ex•
petting to have some fun by nhaffing
him. He said : lbw much do you weigh?
The answer:was : Well about aoi x tauell•as
'you would if you wero washed. •
A philosophical Keutueliian who had
but one shut, itud was laying in bcd
while the garment was drying. lathe yap),
was startled by an exclamation from his
wife that the calf luoileaten it. "WeLI,"
said the Kentuckian, "well, them who
has must lose."
This is the way a Kentucky candidatO
for office greets a voier : "Howdy, howdy,
howdy." "Howdy." "How do you do?"
"'Tollable." How are you ?" "Tollables
"How's all ?" "Tollable." "Your Ihlk.'
well?" "Tollable." "How's you ru ?"
"Tollable." "Neighbors all well ?" "Tol•
]able." "How's yourn Tollable." "All
for MO this time ?" "Sorter tollable."
Under the head of "Religions"' south
ern paper says: "Last Sunday- evenbig as
brother Slemmer was passing the bat for
contributions at the Baptist CharCh, a
graceless scamp from Possuinhollovi nam
ed Sikes, flung a handful of Bungtowa
coppers into the hat with such force as
to knock out the crown, and spill the
money of the Lord upon the floor. Broth
er Slemmer was adequate to the Occasion
And closed Sike's eyes so effectually that
he won't see the beauties of Possum Hol
low again tio a fortnight. After the lit
tle by-play thelservimwent on as usual.'
:Rev. Dr.l:llavis tells the following ex.
celient story : A lady sat at a primitive
Methodist Chapel close to a man who was
remarkably ill shod, anti whoseexclama
tions were in inverse proportion to his
shoe leather. He kept crying out,`Glory
to God !" until he quite annoyed her ;'and
on leaving the chapel the lady told hint
such was the case, promising him a new
pair of boots if he would strain himself
within due bounds. He did so for several
days; but afterward soma particularly
exciting cause occured, anithe started up
in clutpel, shouting'. out, Toots orno boots,
glory be to God !"
A Yankee gentleman, escorting a Brit
ish friend to view the different objects of
attraction in the vicinity of Bostim,
brought liim to Ilunker Hill. They stood'
looking at the splendid monument, wbea.
the Yankee said :
"This is the place where Warren fell."
"Ah I" replied the Englishman, evi
dently, not posted in local historical mat
ters, "did it.hurt him much V' -
"Hurt hunt'-said he, "he was killed,
"Ahl"! he 'was oh ?' said the stranger,
still eyeing the monument, and comput
ing its height layer,hy layer. "Welk. I
should .think he-vald have.been, 1/6,!lan
scr te."