BY W. BLAIR. VOLUME 26. A tuft pottrg. Look not to the past for pleasure, Nor yet to the future turn, Far the past has filled its measure Let it lie in memory's urn. Nor the Pad, nor yet the Future, Can we mortals call our on Only ours the living Presentr-- Here doze w.e have .our home. Memory throws .deceitful glamour Backward - ceetthe path - of life— Smoothing over the roughest places, Co v'ri ug .up the .sceues .of strife, Little joys.and little sorrows, Woof aind warp together wrought, Make the texture of the fabric • That the past to us has.brought. Hope stands by with lifted finger, Pointing to-ii future stare— tzweetly whispering that obtaining You'll be happy evermore. Dar Hug Hope but cheats our fancies Does us :wrong in doing this, Takes us from the living resent To the future for our bliss. This we see not. sweetly nestling 'Round the path th ro' which we tread, Sweetest flowers of joy and gladness It but to crown.our head, :Look . not forward to the Future— Look not hackle the Past, ,Turn you to the living Present— , In - d - in - this your joy att.l , atisullaureus grading.. MONEY AT INTEREST. 11Y MRS. A. E. BARR. It is twenty-five years since my little story began, and I wonder what made me remember it to-day! Nothing in the sur ,riunding circumstances I am sure, yet in rue midst of this crowded city while the the streets were yet full of light and 'life, all at once, as I thought of that gray cool evening, the silent sweetness of the lonely garden, and the plaintiff cry of some lost huab on the mountains. illy uncle had gone nearly two hours before to see at dying child in the village; but the twilight lingers long in that northern latitude, and so, though it was nearly 10 o'clock, I put on my bat and sauntered down the little bridge-path to meet him. I had not far to go, but I was much as: tonished to 'find him accompanied by a young man known as "Dark Harry Hen shawe." I3oth of them seemed to be un• der great emotion, the doctor took my hand s lently, and young Henshawe nei ther raised4hise3es nor opened his mouth. knew that he had a very bid'name in all country side, and that the shadow of a great crime hung over him, therefore . my astonishment Was still greater When he followed my uncle into his study and after remaining there a few minutes went away again, without speaking a word ter any of the family. "Well !" said MS Mary, "after that, What '' "Uncle to supper, I suppose; rerhaps he will explain. But he did not„ until prayers were ov er and the servants in their room; then he told us that Harry had demanded mon• cy from him on his way home in a way which left no doubts as to his intentions. "What did you ,do, uncle? Did you give him money ?" "I said, 'so, no, Harry; what J have on me is not worth the taking; but if you will walk beside me, and tell me all your trouble, I will lend you enough to make a man of you agaip. " Aunt Nary looked injured, and her knitting needles spoke for her. 'Pool be grieved, wifie ! The lad has been driven to destruction by iitlse accus ation, and he's innocent; upon my word, I believe he's innocent". `•"Cry well. If you know better than judge and jury and all the country side, of course bests inpoeent." "God ofte,n reveals to charity, Mary, Ythat he hides from wisdom. The boy is innocent; I intend to help him :to prove it r "How ? By a new trial ?" "No. By. a new life. I have loaned him $lOO and he has gone to 'f'exas." "Not a very good reformatory school, I should. think." "Where •God directs the discipline, ev ery school is good. Come, wifie, be hope ful and charitable." Next day I heard from Aunt IYtar7 .something of the young man's history.— Three summers - ago he had forthed the acquaintauce.of a gentleman who, partly as a tourist and partly as a sportsman, had spent several mouths in the neighbor hood. For many weeks their friendship had been a marvel, then either familiari ty I , red contempt or jealousy kindled ha tred. They quarreled openly and furi ously. Three days afterwards the body of the stranger was found terribly man gled at the foot of 13arrow's COO; and Harry was arrested for the mnrder. lie was eventually acquitted for want of evi dCuce but he found every one's late dark and every one's heart hard against him ; not even the woman he loved believed him •innoceut, and he suffered keenly from that negative punishment which is more grievous than many stripes. Ho sunk loner and lower, and the previous night, in a drunken brawl, had struck to the ground one of his companions. Not car ing to undergo the imprisonment and sus pene which would be the result, he stop pr..4 my nude and de:1;4340 taol4q to flee with.. He got it, and also something far better,"for every gift of noble origin is breathd upan by hope's, perpetual breath." I thought at intervals during a few weeks of the dark reckless face which had looked into my life for a mo ment, and then he passed, as I supposed, forever into the shadow land• of memory. Twelve years afterwards I found my-. self,—one-hot-night in the middle of Au gust sailing up the Buffalo bayou, a beau tiful lagoon in southeastern Texas. Up the narrow stream, darkened by its ar cade of live oaks and magnolias, we slow ly made our way. The hot perfumed air, the :unreal spectral look of everything, gave me the sensation of dreaming. On all the crew and passengers a kind of hushed tranquilly had fallen, broken on ly by slow laboring of the engine, or the lazy thud of some alligator -taking—the water. I noticed now, for the first time, how silence is intensified by sympathetic numbers, then it is complete, a "loneli ness to be felt," but the soul bathes in such stillness, and hears in it "something which throws antiquity itself into the foreground." It lasted long ; but just as I was beginning to feel it oppressive, we came to an opening in the dense 'foliage, and a clear, strong voice said, "Wake up, strangers ! this is the battle field of San Jacinto." Then we gathered - round him while he told — in wor• s a move( e heart like a trumpet, the old story over ann . in: How the land was sick with ty ranny, and could be cured with nothing but blood. And as the trees parted more and more, and the moon shown full on the speaker, suddenly there came to my remembrance the cold, fresh northern air, the solemn mountains and the misty moor lands, and I said, "Harry Henslutwe !" "That is my name, madam. Pardon me, if I. forget yours." ""You never heard mine, but you will remember Carsbrook, and the old man whom everybody called Dr. Will." Then he took my hand and kissed it, just as I had seen him kiss my uncle's when they stood together in the dying daylight, the savioraud the saved. When we were alone he told me his bubsequent history—there was nothing remarkable in it, he had hired himself at first to a large stock raiser, but had prospered so well that now he himself owned a fine rancho and quite a patriarchal number of horses, cattle, and sheep. "Are you married ?" I asked. "No, no !" lie replied sorrowfully, "An nie turned against me in my trouble, and I've been afraid to trust another woman." After a few minutes silence he added, "My home is in the far West, beyond San Antonio, and it is hardly likely we shall meet again." "But the eternal future is before us.— If we part here which' way do you go !" "Heavenward, madam, I trust," and he looked into my face with a grave, but ,happy assurance. "My uncle's loan is paid, I suppose?" "The end of the first year saw the prin cipal paid ; the interest I pay regularly to every poor miserable fellow I see. If I say a word of promise to some dispair ing wretch, I tell him, "That is what Dr. Will said to me;" and if I help him to a few needful dollars, I say, "That's the interest of what Dr. Will set me on my feet with ;" and it is very seldom, madam the gift goes to the bad, fur every unsel fish gift prospers." "Dr.. Will would be a happy Man if he could see and hear you to-day." "He will be happy enough when we both stand before God, and I say, "I was going to hell, and this good man stopped me, he did not pass by on the other side and leave ine with the irreparable.' !' There were team in both our eyes woes 1 1 ) , after a ,short pause he wont on, "And t G 3 goad did not stop with me ; on ray wa I met other -weary and sinful souls, tmd stopped them ; and so them is quite little company walking heavenward th t would have been going the other Way Nit for Dr. Will's 5100. Nay, there are some I honestly believe safe there already, and so when his time comes lie will find friends there—frieLds made by the 'mam mon of unrighteousness who will receive him into everlasting habitations." When we parted I felt so kindly to him that I said, "Farewell, Harry l , You see I call you by your Christian name.' And he smiled rather sadly and an swered, "SO I think Christians should call one another." I think today of that solemn parting by the garden gate, when the young n made the vow he kept, and the old inn cheered and blessed and helped hum; and I . try to imagine that blessed meeting when the souls those precious words and that $l.OO saved, come in the garb of the shining ones to welcome the old man home and I know there will be rejoicing among the angels, and better than all the Master's assured thanks, "Tbon didst it unto N . 8." . TIIE SAEBATTI.—The Sabbath day is the beautiful river iu the week of time. The other days are troubled streams whose angry waters are disturbed by the countless crafts that float upon them; but the pure river Sabbath flows on to Eter nal Rest, chanting the sublime music df the silent, throbbing sphere.% and timid by the pulsatiops of the Everlasting Life. Beautiful river Sabbath glide on ! Bear forth on thy bosom the poor tired spirit to the rest which it seeks, and the weary unteliing soul to endless bliss. There is nothing so tends to shorten the lives of old people and to injure their health, as the practice of sitting up late, especially when there is a grown up daughter in the family. We publish this item at the earnest request of several young men. Mali up, "' W ; $ v 1 i $ quit . I :. ) WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA, THURSDAY, APRIL 9, 1874. From the Dead. In a- town of Northern New York a poor man went to his grave by a disease• of the brain, concerning which the medi cal authorities difibred widely and mi.- moniously. In fact, two particularphy sicians, who had long been _professional rivals, so radically disagreed as to the ex act character of the case, that - when — he Whose treatment prevailed could not save the patient, the other did not hesitate to allege that the sick man had been destroy ed by ignorant mismanagement. When a respectable practitioner casts such an imputation upon a member of his own professional school he should be pretty confident of his own ability to prove it, and the accuser in the present instance was not unaware of his imperative obli= gation to substantiate his accusation. But - how was that - tobe - done?-11e-had firm ly maintained that the disease in ques tion was caused by a tumor, and that the removal of the same by an operation would same_the_patien_Cs life. ' His rival insisted that there was no tumor, and con sequently did not perform the operation. Now, how was it to be practically demon- . started that the tumor did not exist, if the patient was in his grave ? There was but one way of doing that, and the doctor a dopttd it. - i_a_Christmas_esLe,_u_eariaidnigh t, wh en lights shown brightly from homes far and at hand, and the snow lay crisply on the ground, the professional disputant, whose truth and standing were at stake, as he censidered_ in the matter, took a confiden tial student of his with him in a sleigh to the graveyard, where he had the hapless I subject of dispute, and rapidly and.eileet ly disinterred the poor body and placed it in the vehicle. Then whip was given to the horse, and away started the sleigh on the snowy road back to the surgery. But scarcely had the desecrators of man's last resting-place got under 'way with their ghastly prize when the muffled beat of horses' hoofs somewhere iu the darkness behind them told that they had been watched and Were being pursued.— Sharper fell the whip, and the spirited young animal before the sleigh went like wind; yet still the pursuing hoof-beats sounded 'through the keen air, showing that the pursuer was well mounted. Turn ing from the main road into a by-way, or short cut, leading through a swampy piece of woods, the fugitives managed to gain e nough distance to stop the sleigh a mo ment at the edge of a plank-bridge over a frozen woudhual stream, and stretch a rope across the dark and marrow road.— This denc, they were off again for the sur gery close at hand, with the gallop of the pursuer coining sharply to their ears,— Pausing once again behind the bridge, to hear presently the collisiou of the coining horseman with the unseen rope, a crash, and a cry of wrath, the two men carried the body triumphantly depositing it up on a dissecting-table. Then, thinking of nothing but his own disdeedited diagnosis of the disease, and the glary it would be to prove it true, the daring practitioner set to work with his instruments. Carefully shaving one side of his head and cutting through the spot where the principal pain had been, lie bored with his trephine through the skull until a circular button:of bone, about as large as a copper cent, was removed, and behold, there was, indeed, the tumor ! but the strangest scene in the curious dranut was yet to come, and may be best describ ed in the doctor's own terms, as they apr pear in an extract from his posthumous papers lately published in the Water town, (N. Y.) Dispatch : "With no small degree of self satisfaction, threw down my instrument and was going down stair', when I heard a faint sigh,. As I knee - ed by the dead man's side, and, candle i hand, gased anxiously into his palid fe. - tures, he feebly gasped and raised h s eyelids. My God 1 could it be a real& ? Eagerly the slender thread of life w s seized upon, and hour by hour, day - day, week by weer, it was strengthen I into a cable of perfect health." In other words, the supposed dead man whose disinterment had occurred but a few hours after burial, had been only in sensible iiTystl of dead, and the removal of the tumorous pressure on his brain was just in time to save his life. Another strange discovery was that on the same Christmas night, the doctor who had de nied the tumor had broken his arm by falling from his horse ! Suspecting what his rival intended, be too, had ridden se cretly to the graveyard, and was the pur suing horseman whom the concealed robe across the road signally overthrew. FE !ALE Socmy.—What is it that makes all thoes men who associate habit ually with women, superior to others who do not ? What makes that woman who is accustomed to, and at ease in the society of men, superior to her sex in general ? Solely because they ,Tt.re in the habit of free, graceful, continued conversations with the, other sex. Women in this way lose their frivolity, their faculties awaken, their delicacies and peculiarities unfold all their beauty and captivation in the spirit of intellectual rivalry. And the men lose their pedantic, rude, d9claaiato• ry, or sullen manner. The coin of the understanding and the heart changes con tinually. Their asperities are rubed otE their better materials polished and bright ened, and their richness, like the gold, is wrought into finer workmanship by the fingers of women than it ever could be by those of men. The iron and steel of their characters are hidden, like the character and armor of a giant by studs and knots of good and precious stones, when they are not wanted in actual warfare. The man is a fool who will try to do as his neighbor does, when he cannot Ittr,)rd !t, SOLOMON BAY. BY UGENE E. HAM . A hard, close man was Solomon Ray ;- .Nothing of value he. gave away;, • Be hoarded and shaved And he pinched and saved, And the more he had the more he craved The hard-earned dollar ho toiled to gain Brought him little but care and pain ; For little he spent, And all that he lent He7made it bring him twenty per cent, This was the life of Solomon Ray, The years went by, and his hair grow gray; His cheeks grew thin; And.his heart within Grew hard as the dollar he worked to win. But he died one day, as all men must, Forlifele - fleetingand - mairbut - dust - ; And the heirs were gay That laid him away ;. This was the end of Solomon Ray. They quarreled now, who had littled eared For Solomon Ray while his life was spared; His lands were sold, And his hard-earned gold All went to the lawyers, I am told. Yet men will pinch, and cheat, and save, Nor =wry their treasures beyond the grave; All their gold, some dax, Will melt away, Like the selfish savings of Solomon Ray, The Terrible Playfellow. One day--there-name—into—a-country town in the south of Germany a man lead ing a big dancing bear. He was'very tired and hungry, so he went to one of the inns in the town, and having tied up the bear, sat down in the taproom to eat his dinner. While lie sat there, three little children were playing merrily, in one of the op stairs-rooms. They were quite alone, and very noisy,.until one of them heard a cu rious noise on the stairs, to which they all began to /ken. Tramp, tramp I crank, crank, crank ! What a heavy foot ! Who can it be ? Sudanly the door fleW open, and in came the bear—the great shaggy bear, with its clanking chain I In a terrible fright at this unexpected visit, each of the poor little children ran into a corner to hide, But the-bear found them all oat, and put his cold nose quite close to them, tbr he was not muzzled now, moat at them, but did them no harm. Poor, harmless old beast 1 be was very much al tered since the days when he hid in the forest, or climbed up the great trees to steal honey left there by Wild bees. "He must be a big- dog," thought the eldest boy, and so he began to pat and stroke him. Then the bear stretched himself out at full length on the floor, arid all ones came up to him and began to play with him like a big puppy. The youngest sat down, nestled his curly head in the black far, and the eldest boy began to thump away with all his might upon a little drum he had. Suddenlythe bear stood up upon his bind legs and be gan to dance: Then what a cry of delight came from the children ! You should have heard it. \flint glorious fun ? Each' of the little boys had a toy musket With which they had been playing soldiers, and they had gave one of these to the bear, and In their intense delight he herd it tight and firm, and shouldered it just like a soldier. So the drum was banged and they all began to march, the room shaking again with the bear's heavy feet, thump, thump, thump ! bang, bang ! left, right, right, left, march away. In midst of all this noise and tramping, the door suddenly opened arid there stood the poor mother. You should have seen her. Her face wee white ; she could not speak for fear. But the children set up a cry of joy: "Oh, look, mamma ! we are all playing at soldiers with this fine playfellow !" While this was going on the poor man went into the yard to get his bear, and finding ho had broken loose, came up stairs to look for him; and scrthe children lost their shaggy playfellow, although I believe their mother was not at all sorry to see him taken away.—Children's' Hour. A SHREWD FATEIER.—About a year ago, if I remember rightly, a story went the rounds which credited that ingenious gentleman, the Western man, with having successfully carried out one of the most original of plans forgetting his daughters comfortable settled in life without any cost whatever to himself. He bad a large and expensive family. Three out of four of the daughters were marriagea ble. They were very pretty girls, and had many admirers. The father permit ted them to receive attentions from the most eligible young men, and to all out ward appearances seemed perfectly con tent not to part with his treasures until he *as asked to do so. Each demand for consent was the signal for au outburst of feeling that ended in the sudden exit of the applicant. The lovers, however, were not to be prevented from attaining happiness by what they believed to be the whim of a selfish father. They eloped, were married, and forgiven. The real state of the case was the father could not afford to buy three suitable outfits, and pay the expenses of three feasts. Not seeing any prospect in the immediate future of being better able to do so, after ransacking his brain •to find a way out of the difficulty, heat last concluded to frown on the young people, and take the chances of what might Thllow., The elope ment didn't cost him a cent ; the expanse of outfits and weddings was saved ; and his reputation for liberality did notsuffer in the least, and neighbors continued in ignorance of the actual condition of his exchequer. Spring time is the tine to drink sa.ssar fra tea. "Music at Horne." There was a time when A gushing par• agraph with this beading illuminated the pages of every issue of every weekly, bi= •eekiy, mini-weekly, monthly, and semi , onthly published all over the ;country. his brought down upon innocent heads an inundation of monnipgs and wailings rem unhappy instruments, which was popularly supposed to represent music.— Boys being generally supposed to hate lenty to do, and rather restive under an fliction which promises very little re-, ru, were not disturbed; it was girls, as sual, that were made the victims of this ew - fantes, for exhausing time, strength ' nd ' • • • , •• • ~- • n ensa- — The piano maniti - is one of the most ex -traordinary results of psychological influ %lce of modern times. The instrument itself is very costly ; it occupies a. large space; it requires separate conveyance' to move it from place to place, and an ex pert to take it apart and put it together. It must be kept in tune by a man hired for the' purpose, and at least two hours per day, and an expense for years is the price of ordinary proficiency in its use. Yet, in the face of all these obstacles, piano pounding in its various degrees of distraction is heard in every house of ev ery.street in every city, town, village, and settlement of the Union and its territorial depend iencies, from - Maine - to - Cal ifornia, - and Nantucket to and beyond the Rocky Mountains. No drib can object to a really good per formance upon a Weber grand, or a sym pathetic rendering of charming ballads in the gray of a cottage twilight. But take the number and - variety of instruments, the number and. variety of performers, the time and money spent, and the result attained, and let us ask, in a Much abas ed commercial form of phraseology, does it pay ? Two holm per day, exclusive of Sun days, is in round numbers six hundred hours in a year—time enough to acquire two languages, a fair knowledge of }lag- Rah literature, and some idea. of the art of conversation—in all of which American girls are lamentably deficient. Moreover, facility in playing the piano is only retained, after it is acquired, by incessant practice. How many women play on the piano after they marry ? And for - flow mauy might not the time have been put to infinitely better use ! A JUVENILE MONSTER.—A ICentucky paper gives the following account of a huge infant, named Dero Edward Cham bers, and born two years and a half ago, in Barren co., that State: "When about three months old he be gan to &Ann, and soon attracted the se rious attention• of his parents and immedi ate friends. His accumulation of fat has been uninterrupted, and now he exhibits an obesity of huge aldermauic proportoins. We visited him and made careful ex amination and measurement, which we give to the curious public. His parents are the reverse of their infantile represen tative, so far as physical proportion is concerned. "The father, Smith E. Chambers, is a delicate, spare made man, of not vigor ous look and weighs 127 pounds ; the mother is small, delicately built and weighs 114 pounds. Dero, the young giant, stands in perpendicular measure ment, 37 inches. The measurement a round the wrist is 10i inches, and above the elbow 16i inches. The leg around the calf gives a circumference of 18 inches, the thi4h the enormous length around of 28/ while the hip take full 48 inches of tape to circuit their hugeness. Around the waist he shows a girth of 42 inches. His avoirdupois pulls down the scales easily at 1183: pounds. The child is quite Potelligeut, can walk with much easier locomotion than his ponderous, unshapely form would indicate, and enjoys very good health." Evtav MORNING."—fIow many bright things there are in the book of Lamentations ! It has a sad title, and in our happy moods we should hardly think of turning its leaves. Our instinct would be to go to it in our grief, to find suitable utterances in our burdened hours. We open to its lines as those who walk under a weeping sky and beneath the rain of falling tears. But our walk will often, as we look up, show us a rift in the clouds, and the blue sky shining through, the blessed sunshine streaming down. Here is an utterance that has the sunbeams la it : "The Lord's mercies. are now every morning." What an assurance this is to carry with us in all our wayfaring through the world. The future is alwttys dark on us. The shadows brood it. A veil hides it from our sight. What is under the shadows, what is behind the veil, what is advancing to meet us out of the impervious mist, none of us can know. We have no anx ious questions to ask. This is enough for all that is coming. '"The Lord's mercies are new every morning." The Rev. 'Henry Ward Beecher makes this sensible reply in the Christian. Union to a query as to whether it is wicked to dance. "It is wicked when it is wicked, and not wicked when it is not wicked.— In itself it has no more moral character than walking, wrestling, or rowing. Bad company, untimely hours,evil dances, may make the exercise evil ; good com pany, 'wholesome hours, and home influ ences, may make it a very great benefit." Mr. Beecher takes a sensible and cor rect view of dancing. Shaking one's feet never yet did the harm that has been done by wagging the tongue—and it would not do to lay an embargo upon the tongue because it becomes an unruly member nor and then. To Line the tip of a Hat With. Breach of trust is worse than stealing outright. • Don't chew a tooth pick where any one can see you. If you "hawk," spit Tight away, but not on the floor. 11air•dye is poisonons. Keep the scalp clean with soap water, Give full weight and good measure. That's real religion, as fltr as it goes. Don't indulge in luxuries if there is a mortgage on the house you can't call your own. .i l ) l luenie to make a puddle of . tobacco juice in a public • 'nveyance - Never. wear. furs_or_any_kind of wrap-_ ping close about the neck. Taking them off will induce a cold. Don!t imagine that every young lady who treats you pleasantly_ has ever thought_ of marrying you. That's quite another thing. When you ride in a horse•car, keep your elbows to yourself; and your big feet out of the way of others Who may be passing throug.h When the , benediction is pronounced, leave the church, and don't sto in the aisles to gossip. Others, not as chatty us you are, wish to go home. If you go in debt, don't go in the coun try next Summer befere you pay. Grocers, butchers, 'coal-dealers, etc., reasonably ex pect their little bills settled before yon leave town. It is as necessary to be as religious one day as it is another. To be devout on Sunday, to carry a prayer book, and bow down on that day only, will amount to but little when the - day of reckoning comes. When you stop at a crowded hotel and there .at; many'travelers beside yourself, don't rush up to the register and demand a room. Stand back and be modest a bout it ; the clerk will be sure to see you then and your chances are better than the foremost of the crowd. BADLY BITTEN JUDGE.-4t iS a fact pretty generally known that in order to dispose of disorderly characters prompt. ly at the New York State fairs, ajustice of the peace holds court continually on the fair ground. A West Trpy justice attended to the business last full, and many offenders were brought before the "big judge." Among the number arrest ed was u young man having the appear ance of a half- witted, overgrown country boy. He was detected in "scatipg the fence," and brought up by the poli6eman to the office of the justice. The lulinerly' boy admittu,d the charge, but pleaded in extenuation that he had no money, and his desire to see "the show had induced him to commit the wrong. The squire quickly sentenced him to jail for thirty days or to pay a fine of five dollars. The culprit began to cry, saying he had no money, but the squire was inexor able, and unless the five dollars were paid at once the outside would be u stranger to him for thirty days. After continuing to blubber, for some time, the boy said that his mother had sent lritu to the savings bank in Albany to deposit fifty dollars, and he had the mouey,with him. Well,' said the justice, if you would avoid goidg to jail, take five dollars out of your mother's money, and go home and explain matters to her.' The hoy finally dreui off one of his cow hide boats and taking from it a small piece of newspaper, displayed a fifty dol lar bill rolled within. With a sorrowful look and a trembling hand the bank note was handed to; `his honor,' who re turned forty five dollars change. This done, the justice directed the policeman to take the boy by the collar and thrust him out of the gate, which was done by the blue-coat, who added, by way °fem. *lsis, a good sound kick. As the pre- tended greenhorn reached the mail he was laughed at by the crowd, and in re ply he said : "I have finished my business in there." The next day the squire proceeded Do deposit the fifty dollars in the bank, when he was informed that it was counterfeit. Imagine the feelings of the court." "Sold," said he, "and got the money." The justice has decided that "appear ances are deceptive," and with Tegurd to the honesty of strangers 'you can't most always tell.' 2ne squire will keep a sharp lookout for country pumpkins hereafter. WEATHER SIGN9.-"M. Quad" enu merates the following in "Our Friedide Friend," as among the most reliable wea ther signs : If the pear trees • blossom before the 20th of March, and you notice the cows and horses rubbing themselves against the meeting house door, and the top rail of the fence casts two sepemte shadows, it argues well for the cowing wheat crop. If the clouds all move one way during November, and big girls go barerbot and tin-peddlers are numerous, and your with wants a new pair of shoes,and plum trees grow the most branches on the west side, the new year will be prolific of thunder storms an . dlightningrod agents. If pumpkins are frost-bittettbefore they turn yellow, and house-rent goes up, find catnip tea has a bitter tests, and saw-logs show an inclination to roll up hill, the potato rot is sure to follow. It' there are high winds in February, followed by warm rains, and cattle refuse to lick' alt, and red-headed girls are con; spicuous, July will-be a cool month. $2,00 PER YEAR. MUIER, 43. Mil Hutt Xtuitor. A woman says she mknnot pray ; but she will shoot the first roani who sells her, husband liquor. Vermont brags of a young lady 4m tall that her lover 'puts on his overcoat when e climbs up to kiss her. Charles Mink_ when spcaking_ofoao_ of his rides on horseback, remarked that 'all at once his horse stopped, but he kept right on." , The 'scientific mon have settled tbe mat ter. beyond all question that it : is a mis take to suppose that the sun is supported A Danbury boy wants to know ifit is right for his folks to pay $5OO for kpi ano fOr his sister, and make hiniipeek berries for circus money. A Iboy - waefeauelt stealing chestnuts near a cemetery. - "What's you name?" "Tweed," blebberedlthe boy.:, - The farri er the boy and fled. ' r'" . ''.. ... ..,, (r corr e spon d en t correspondent of a paper:biting de scribed a neighboring river as a . ' '-i.Ockly Stream," the'editor appended the reMiti*, ."T . t'erso—it is confined to its - belt" = =— Economylis - said to he carried io<IIN an extent inn, town in Michigan that the paper mills have been compelled to sus- , petal operations for want of rags. n ansas • Tkeis, if you call - for a plate of Indian cakes, the waiter puts his hand to the side of his mouth, and sings out : "Moddes for one." An old maid in Massachusetts has twen ty-eight pet rabbits, and with these for pets and a hot brick for comfort she man gee to get along very nicely. O V A Saratoga belle who, six !maths ago, was so languid tbat she could Scarcely support herself at the altar, now throws a flat-ion fifty-five feet, tuaihits her hus band every time. Maryland girls wo 't marry in the f‘lN•ul of the moon, • ing.that they would have ill•luek thro i life, but a Penna. girl wouldn't let f q ty full moons stop hoe tea seconds. : Two babies were shipped several htin tired miles by express in Oftoo, recently, and arrived at theit destination' all right; but the 'express agent was almost wont nut telegraphing ahead for milk, shingles or,;spanking, and other purposes. A E remarkably dirty snan stepped in front of n 3nialt boy sitting on a fence, ex• petting to have some fun by nhaffing him. He said : lbw much do you weigh? The answer:was : Well about aoi x tauell•as 'you would if you wero washed. • A philosophical Keutueliian who had but one shut, itud was laying in bcd while the garment was drying. lathe yap), was startled by an exclamation from his wife that the calf luoileaten it. "WeLI," said the Kentuckian, "well, them who has must lose." This is the way a Kentucky candidatO for office greets a voier : "Howdy, howdy, howdy." "Howdy." "How do you do?" "'Tollable." How are you ?" "Tollables "How's all ?" "Tollable." "Your Ihlk.' well?" "Tollable." "How's you ru ?" "Tollable." "Neighbors all well ?" "Tol• ]able." "How's yourn Tollable." "All for MO this time ?" "Sorter tollable." Under the head of "Religions"' south ern paper says: "Last Sunday- evenbig as brother Slemmer was passing the bat for contributions at the Baptist CharCh, a graceless scamp from Possuinhollovi nam ed Sikes, flung a handful of Bungtowa coppers into the hat with such force as to knock out the crown, and spill the money of the Lord upon the floor. Broth er Slemmer was adequate to the Occasion And closed Sike's eyes so effectually that he won't see the beauties of Possum Hol low again tio a fortnight. After the lit tle by-play thelservimwent on as usual.' :Rev. Dr.l:llavis tells the following ex. celient story : A lady sat at a primitive Methodist Chapel close to a man who was remarkably ill shod, anti whoseexclama tions were in inverse proportion to his shoe leather. He kept crying out,`Glory to God !" until he quite annoyed her ;'and on leaving the chapel the lady told hint such was the case, promising him a new pair of boots if he would strain himself within due bounds. He did so for several days; but afterward soma particularly exciting cause occured, anithe started up in clutpel, shouting'. out, Toots orno boots, glory be to God !" A Yankee gentleman, escorting a Brit ish friend to view the different objects of attraction in the vicinity of Bostim, brought liim to Ilunker Hill. They stood' looking at the splendid monument, wbea. the Yankee said : "This is the place where Warren fell." "Ah I" replied the Englishman, evi dently, not posted in local historical mat ters, "did it.hurt him much V' - "Hurt hunt'-said he, "he was killed, "Ahl"! he 'was oh ?' said the stranger, still eyeing the monument, and comput ing its height layer,hy layer. "Welk. I should .think he-vald have.been, 1/6,!lan scr te."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers