BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 20.
!'BB WAYMBORO' VILLAGI REteltt
'
PUBLIHHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
By W. BLAIR.
iEfi AS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
ADVERTISEMENTS—One Square (10
lines) three insertions, $1,50; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
five Cents per Square. A liberal
discount made to yearly adver
tisers.
LOCALS.—Bnsiness Locals Ten Cents pet
line for the first insertion,Ses.r , en
Cents for Pilliseutient inserthins
profess onal OT?:irds
a. B. AMBERSON.
Pll YSICIAN AND S LIAG EON,
N tsncrPo', PA
Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug_
[jane 29—tf.
UR., MN
YSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Offers his professional services to the'pub
lie, (Mice in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. april 24-tf
' DR. BYNJ. 'FRANTZ,
PLITSICIAN AND BURGEON,
OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near
the Bowden House, Night calls should be
made at his residence on Main Street ad
oining the Western School House.
July 20-tf
ISAAC N. SNIVELY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
WAYNESBORO' PA. • •
Office. athis residence, nearly opposite
he El , m,len house. . Nov 2—tf.
.JOSEPH DOUG-I_IAS
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
6 WAYNESBORO'. PA.
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N. 8.--Real Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
OR!, it, H., STRAW/Mat
(FORMERLY OF MERCF.RSTATRG, PA.,)
sfVFERS his Profe.:•ional services to the
4 , PeiLizPLl:- ut W„yneshorct, zaiii
1 .1 21iP(1i ‘ ii . ,11...1 eXtP))•
;lye prat . at Nien'ef:-.loarg, t, iivre hr'
ha
been prorninenily e:1;. ,. .,.;e0 for a nkinlnTnf
years in the practice prott.q..i,•ll.
Itzt • ora.,n^tl 111."4.1)Or
at the; of tes9re, Esq., .4-
F:oiler-in-law, where be Can be form? at al
4.imes vit.en not professionally cngage.l.
July 20, 187.1..-tf.
A. K. BRAN ISROLTS,
RESIDENT DENTIST
I a I I,
ALSO AGENT
For the Best and most Popular Organs in Use
Organs always on exhibition and for sale
.nt his office.
We being acquainted with Dr. Branis
holt s socially and professionadly recommend
him to ail desiring the services of a Dentist.
Drs. E. A. Hmallo, J. M. lilcmu,
" A. H. STRICKLER, LN. SNIVELY,
•" A. S. BONEBRAKE, T. D. EuENcn.
julyl7—tf
3. 11. FORNEY & CO.
Produce Commtgien ltiarokallts
No. 77 NORTH STREET,
BALTIMORE MD.
Pay particular attention to the sale of
Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal advances mane on consignments.
may 29-tf
DAIRY Y.
rIHE subscriber notifies,the public that
he has commenced the Dairy business
and will supply citizens regularly every
morning with Miik or Cream at low rates.
Ile will also leave a supply at N. Geiser's
Store where persons can obtain either at a
ny hour during the day.
nu 27-tf BENJ. FRICK,
1-101R.SM
DERSDICS wanting Spring-tooth Horse
X Rakes can be supplied with a first-class
article by calling . on the subscriber. He
•continues to repair all kinds of machinery
at short noticea.ud neon reasonable terms.
The Metcalf excelsior Post Boring and
Wood Sawing EcMhines always on hand.
JOHN L. METCALF,
Feb 27—i Quincy, Pa.
J. H. WELSH
WITH
W. V. LIPPINCOTT & CO,
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
Hats, Caps, Furs and Straw Goods,
No. 531 Market Street, Philadelphia, Pa
april 3-tf
BAIIBEIING ! BALBEhINP!
9"HE subscriber having rec ntiv re-paint
ed and papered and added new iurni
ture to his shop, announces to his custom
ers and the public that he will leave noth
ing undone to give satisfaction and make
comfortable all who may be pleased to fa
vor him with their patronage. Shaving.
Schampoonin,g, Hair-cutting, etc. promptly
attended to. A lung experience in the bar
bering business enables him to promise sat
isfaction in all cases. \V. A. PRICE.
sept
THE BOWDEN HOUSE
MAIN STREET,
WAYNESBORO', PENN'A.
HE subscriber having leased this well-
I `
known H ,tel property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate the traveling public
and others who may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times be in attendance.
May 23-tf SAM% P. STONER.
elect pottra.
--At • •
• •
,
FLOATING DOWN THE MIL ,
We're floating n the river,
The noisless stream of time;
its voyagers of all ages—
They hail from every clime,
It has its lights and shadows,
'Tis fraught with hopes and fears
Some cross it in a moment,
And some are crossin year;
We're floating down the river,
At first it seems so wide,
That our frail barques can never
_Land -on the other-side,-
The trip seems one of pleasure;
We've nothing now to fear,
No tempest can beset us
While skies are fair and clear.
We're floatingdown the river:
As farther on we go,
The stream appears more narrow,
The waters faster flow,
We'er - looking - oat - for - dangers
That lie on every side;
Our watchword it is "Onward"
As down the stream we glide.
We're floating down the river;
When we've been on it yeare,
And cast our glances backward,
It but a step appears,
The waters now are deeper,
The bottom lost from view :
Where once the boats were many,
They are beat ter ed now, and few.
We're floating down the river:
As othe• c have before;
Oft times a boat will leave us,
And strike out for the shore;
And then our journey onward
More lone and sad is found—
One comrade less to cheer us,
As we are homeward bound.
We're floating down the river;
Sume time our tuna come
ont from 1 hemhers
Ami :•et unt• ail.. I;.r home,
And, t:•Len emno. , Ui.,t summons
From ores beyond Ul.ll view,
Oh, may our boats be ready
To dash the breakers through!
atlisteitaurous -grading.
UNDER FALSE COLORS
"My pocket book's goner exclaimed
an excited passenger, who had stepped
up to the bar to liquor, and so suddenly
found himself without means to liqui
date.
"Mine tool" chorussed a dozen of us,
simultaneously chipping our hands on our
personal subtreasuries and finding them
vacant.
There was a commotion on board the
gond steamer Swiftsure, one of the best
then navigating the Mississippi. A rue
ful set we were on whom thus unexpect
edly dawned the fact of present insolven.
cp.
My own case was peculiarly hard.—
The money I had lost was my all, I had
just drawn it from a hank to pay for a
home I had bargained• tar, and to which
I was expecting soon to conduct my long
intended bride. Poor Kate—l could hard
ly, in justice, ask her to wait longer.
"It is evident that we have pickpockets
on board," observed a grave•looking gen
tleman, who had already . found time to
talk himself into a leader among us.
It waif pretty evident.
"They may have gone ashore with the
booty," suggested •another"we have al
ready made several stomppages."
"True," replied the grave gentleman ;
"still it is proper that a general search
be instituted. It 'will at least serve to
dear of suspicion those presen t."
"Very right," was the general voice.
"And, as a mover of the proposal," the
gentleman continued, "I first offer for
scrutiny my own person and effects."
For form's sake the offer was accepted.
Of course no discoveries were made in
that quarter. Beyond a decent supply of
clothing, a few religious books, a moder
ate sum of mony, nothing was found on
the gentleman's person or among his ef
fects.
"At least they have left me my little
pittance," he remarked, returning it to
his pocket. "I presume they hardly
thought it worth while to rob a clergy
man."
Had we known the gentleman's calling
sooner—we were inexcusable not to have
surmised it—we certainly should have
insistod on his exinption from the test he
had just undergone.
One after another were put through
the ordeal with equally fruitless results.
till it came the turn of a slipshod little
man, who had hung back to the last, and
whom nobody seemed to have noticed un
til now.
"Step forward, eir, and submit like the
rest," said the clergyman.
The little man obeyed. As he ap
proached, a singular chang% came over
A
the minister's countenance. t grew pale
But the feeling, whatever it was was evan
escent.
"Do your duty gentlemen," he said in
his usual tone of authority.
Those appointed to conduct the search
proceeded with it. This time results were
not so barren. Every one of the missing
wallets was found in the little man's pos
A FAMILY NEWSPAPER--DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC.
WAINESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1874.
session ! He didn't even flush at his de
tection. It was hard to tell whether the
clergyman looked mere surprised or pain
ed.
"What shall be done with him ?" was
the general query.
"It's a pity the laws are so laxly ad
ministered hereabouts," remarked tht
minister.
"that's true," said another, "there's no
use turning him over it, thy law ; be would
be out of its e.luteh in a 1,
-Let's deal with ;tin) .Isay,"
spoke up a burly loaking planter from
the bayous.
"My function forbids that I should ae•
lively counsel violence," said the clerical
~.enticinan, with a touch of snivel in his
lone
.Ne . xer-yotr - ritinc4 - Dmittierthi:
planter, "we'll take the responsibility-"
"It is greatly to be regretted," the min
ister went on, "that such necessities should
ever exist, but., it must be confessed, they
Sometimes do exist."
This time the snivel was more percepti
bk.
"Sound doctrine, old boss 1" again put
in the planter. Just leave the practice
A rope , was procured, at one en' of
which a noose was improvised, the other
being made fast to one of the staunchiong,
and the' culprit was giyen ten minutes to
prepare.-
"Have you no remonstrance to make
against this?" asked the littlenian of the
minister. '
"Ask your own conscience," replied he,
"what remonstrance I can make."
"There is but one crime deserving„of
death,"- said - the - little - man, svith-Caliti
d!stinctness," and that is wilful. murder."
Again the minister's fade paled.
"Time's up!" admonished the planter.
"Now you just mount the guard there
and when you're shoved over the side,
whether you're banged or drowned 'll da
pend on the strength o' the rope,"
"Can I offer you any spiritual consola
tion,.my sinful friend?" said the minister,
with -a-snivel-that=was-no
You hypocritical villian!" thundered
the little man with sudden vehemence.
"In your situation, such language to
a clergyman is little short of blasphemy,"
returned the other.
"You a celergymanl" exclaimed the
little man. "If you ever entered a church
in your life it was to rob it."
;(11 , 1y character, I trust is not to be as
sailed by the ;handers of oue found with
stolen property on him," was the dignified
answer.
"This has gone far enough," said the
little man. "Gentlemen, I'm Tom Han
ley, the detective. I hold a warrant for this
man's arrest for mdrder and robbery.—
It was he who picked your pockets, for
he 'is an adept in the act. The accom
plice to whom he passed the stolen prop
erty Itook aside unobserved, before he
left the boat at the landing, and by a lit
tle moral suasion induced him to disgorge
privately, taking good care he should at
terward have no chance to communicate
with his principal. Two of my men fol
lowed him ashore, and ere now he is as
hard fast as this one will soon be."
"The detective pulled off his wig and
whiskers, when the familiar face of Tom
Hen key was recognized by at least a score
of those present.
"At a given signal, half a dozen stal
wart assistants, who we had until now
taken for simple passengers, came inward,
and in a trice the desperate thief and
murderer was taken in custody and man
acled. He was taken ashore at the next
landing, and in due time bad justice.
An Adroit Fraud.
Some nine years ago Solomon Bacon,
a noted merchant in London, received a
letter from his correspondent in Hamburg,
which grieved and troubled him. It
stated that the writer had been defaulted
by his nephew, son of a widowed' sister,
of $lO,OOO, and fled to London with the
money. There was a reluctance to make
the matter public, and Mr. Bacon was
desired to keep silance; "but," the latter
went on to say, "if you would invite John
to dinner, and when alone tax him with
the crimp•, he might perhaps refund the
money. Should he do so you may give
him $500." The London merchant found
the young German, took him home, and
when the ladies had withdrawn from the
dinner table he acquainted his visitor
with his knowledge of the fraud. Alarm
was depicted on the countenance of his
guest.
"You will not make this public, Mr.-
Bacon?" he asked.
"No if you return me the money now
and here."
"But I lost 81,000 last night at Crock
ford's, and have not the power,
"Well," said the merchant, "return mg
then $9,000, and though I a little exceed
my instructions, I will nevertheless glue
you back $500."
"My uncle is very good," remarked the
young man, and he forthwith banded
from his pocket nine $l,OOO notes to his
host.
"I cannot change one of these," said
Mr. Bacon; "will net my check do as well?'
"Quite," replied the German; and hav
ing received the $5OO check, hastily left.
"The following morning Mr. Bacon
went to his banker to pay in the notes,
and found to his surprise that they were
all counterfeits. His next inquiry was
after his check, but that was already cash
ed. He then telegraphed to his Hamburg
correspondent, and learned that he was
profoundly ignorant about the whole af
fair. It was as adroit a fraud as was
ever plotted.
The chains of habit are generally too
small to be felt till they are too strong to
be breken.—Dr. Johnson.
I'M WEARY
I'm weary of life and its battles,
Tired of learning so oft
That one fairest and sweetest flowers
Perish first in the blast of the north ;
That our hopes, likc withered leaves,
Fall one by one, quickly and sure ;
And not even our loves and our friendships
In adversity's winds will endure.
rm tired, .too, oflife's envies,
Its quarrels, its frauds, and its strife ;
And I fain in the grave would be lying'
If death were the end of life.
The friends that I loved and trusted
Have failed- me one by one,
And my loved ones too have vanished,
I —.lAte-the - mists - before - the - su .
I once had a darling cousin,
"With eyes that were dark and deep ;"
But coldly the death shades were falling,
And she fell 'mid her shadows asleep:
I once loved a pretty floweret,
That gay in garden smiled ;
But the winter's chill breath touched it,
And it faded and drooped and died.
Each thing that I loved and cherished
Passed from me soonest of all;
And now all that's dearest and nearest
. I dare not love at all •
The robins sing in the morning,
And the lillies dunce in the breeze
That; whispering, tosses the ivy,
And coquets with the laughing trees.
But into my heart steal no echoes
The music of—life-has fled
The hopes of my childhood are ended 1
The hopes of my youth are dead t
So I am weary, weary and tired ;
Feign would I lie asleep,
Where the grass in the churchyard swaying
With the willows forever weep.
CONNECT/CUT BLUE LAWS.
le_statutes_co iiedbelow,-from-an-an-
cient volume relating the history of the
American Colonies, were enacted by the
people of the "dominion of New Haven"
and being printed on blue paper came to
be known as the famous blue laws.
The Governor and magistrates conven
ed in General Assembly, are the supreme
power, under God, of this independent
dominion.
From the determination of the Assem
bly no appeal shall be made.
The Governor is amenable to the voice
of the people.
The Assembly of the people shall not
be dismissed by the Governor, but shall
dismiss itself.
Conspiracy against the dominion shall
be punished with death.
Whosoever says there is power and
jurisdiction above and over the dominion,
shall suffer death and loss of property.
Whoever attempts to change or over•
turn the dominion shall suffer death.
The judges shall determine no contro
versies without a jury.
No one shall be a freedman or give a
vote unless he be converted and a mem
ber of one of the churches allowed in the
dominion.
Each freeman shall swear by the bless
ed God to bear true illegiance to this do
minion, and that Jesus is the only king.
Nu Quaker, no dissenter from the esta
blished worship of this dominion, shall be
allowed to give a vote for the electing of
magistrates• or any other officer.
No food or lodgings shall be offered to
Quaker, Adamite or heretic.
If any person turns Quaker he shall be
banished and not suffered to return but
•
on pain of death.
No Priest shall abide in the dominion ;
he shall be banished, and suffer death on
his return.
Priests may be seized by any one with
out a warrant.
No one to cross a river, on the Sabbath
but an authorized clergyman.
No one shall run on the Sabbath day
or walk in his garden, or elsewhere, ex
cept reverently to and from meeting.
No one shall travel, cook vituals, make
beds, or sweep houses, cut hair or shave,
on the Sabbath day.
No one shall kiss her children on the
Sabbath or fasting days.
The Sabbath shalt begin at sunset on
Saturday.
To pick an ear of corn growing=in
neighbor's garden shall be deemed theft.
A person accused of trespass in the
night shall be judged guilty, unless he
clears kimselt' by his oath.
When it appears that the accused has
confederates, and he refuses to discover
them, he may be racked.
None shall buy or sell lands without
permission of the selectmen.
A drunkard shalt have a master ap
pointed by the.selectraen, who are to bar
him from liberty of buying and selling.
Whosoever publishes a. lie in the pre.
judice of his neighbor, shall be sent in the
stocks or be whipped ten stripes.
No minister shall keep a school.
Every ratable person who refuses to
pay his proportion to the support of the
minister of the, town or parish, shall he
fined by•court .£5 4s, every quarter until
he or she pay the rate to the minister.
Men stealers shall suffer death.
Whosoever wears' clothes trimmed with
gold, silver or bone lace above is per yd.
shall be presented by the grand jurors,
and the selectmen shall tax the offender
£3OO estate.
A debtor in prison, swearing he has no
estate, shall be let out and sold for satis.
faction.
Whosoever sets fire to the woods, and it
burns a louse, shall suffer death ; and
persons suspected of this crime shall be
imprisoned without benefit or bail.
Whosoever brings cards or dice into
this dominion, shall pay a fine of £5.
No one shall read , common prayer
books, keep Christmas , or set days, eat
mince pies, dance, play cards, or play an
instrument of music, except the drum,
trumpet and Jew's harp.
No gospel minister shall join people_ in
marriage, -- The magistrate only shall join
them in marriage, as be may do it with
less scandal to Christ's church.
When parents refuse their children
convenient marriages, the magistrates
shall determine the point.
The selectmen on ending ehildren
norant may take them away from their
parents and put them in better hands at
the expense of their parents.
".; Fornication shall be punished by com
pelling marriage, or as the court shall
think proper.
A:dalmry - slrall - be - punished-with-death.-
A man who strikes his wife shall pay
a. fine of .£lO.
A woman who strikes her husband
shall be punished as the law directs.
A wife shall be deemed good evidence
against her-husband. '
No. man shall court a maul in person
or by letter, without obtaining consent of
her parents; 5 penalty for the first of
fence ;• £lO fbr the second ; and for the
t Ir., Imprisonment
of the court. .
Married persons must live together or
be imprisoned.
e —rynale==unrst=havhis-,ihair--cut
round according to his cap.
President Linzoln's Dream.
Not a trait in the character of Abra
ham Lincoln was more prominent anu
admired-than-his-domesticity-and-love of
those times when he could surround him
self with his family and entertain him
self and them with cheerfulness and profi•
table conversation.
While he was neither a professor of re
ligion, nor even fixed in his belief in any
particular creed, still he was fond of rea
ding and discussing the Bible. On these
Sunday evenings he invariably read a
chapter or two from the Scriptures, and
then gave his emplanation of it.
On one evening he read several pas
sages in the Old and New Testani,ent a
bout dreams, to which Mrs. Lincoln and
the children grew very attentive. At
length he raised hie eyes from the book
and said— "It is strange how much there
is in the Bible about dreams ; there are
I think some sixteen different chapters in
the Old Testament, and four in the New,
in which dreams are mentioned."
"Well, said Mrs. Lincoln with a slight
smile, do you believe in dreams ?"
"Frankly I can say that I do not, but
I had one the other night that has haunt
ed me ever since." "When I opened the
Bible this evening, strangely enough it
was at a passage about dreams, and my
thoughts were in that direction." "Mr.
Lincoln looked serious."
"Do tell the dream father, cried bright
eyed little Tad Lincoln ?"
"Why, saith Mrs. Lincoln, you fright
en me with your solemn looks.
"Well to begin the dream, said Mr.
Lincoln : About ien days ago I retired
one night late. I had been up waiting
for some important dispatches, and was
not in bed long before I fell into slum
ber, durin,gtny slumber I began to dream.
I thought there was a stillness about me
and I heard weeping. I thought that I
got up and went down stairs, as I went
from room to room, I heard nothing but
moaning and weeping. lat last came to
the end of the room when I entered, and
there before me was a magnificent dias,
on which was a corpse. I said to one of
the soldiers, who is dead in the White
House? He answered, the President.—
How did he die I asked ? By the hand
of an assassin, was the reply. I then
heard a great wailing all over the house,
and it was so loud that it seemed to awa
ken me. I awoke much depressed and
slept no more that night.
On the night of the fatal 14th of April
1865, when the President was assassinated
by John Wilkes Booth, . Mrs. Lincoln's
first exclamation was—his dream was
prophetic. This remark was not then
understood. Subsequently Mr. Lincoln's
dream was told to many in Washington.
ONE IDEA OF POVERTY.--It was Bulwer
who said that in nine cases out of ten pov
erty is only an idea. Some men with 'ten
thousand dollars a year suffer. more want
of means than .others with three hundred.
The reason is, the richer man has artifi
cial wants. His income is ten thousand,
and he suffers enough from being dunned
for unpaid debts to kill a sensitive man.
A man who earns a dollar a day, and
who does not run in debt, is the happier
of the two. Very few people who have
never been rich will believe this, but it is
true. There are thousands and thousands
with princely incomes who never know a
moment's peace, because they live beyond
their means. There is really more happi-
ness in the world among working people
than among those who are called rich—
always providing that poor folks do not,
in a smaller way, emulate the prodigality
of their rich brethern. Poverty is simply
a question of the good or bad management
of money in hand.
MODERN SAYINGS. -- Let your motto
he "Liberty or Death,"and if it comes to
the pin& take the most,of it in liberty.
Honor thy father and thy mother, par
ticularly about circus time, when you
don't know where to raise fifty cen's.
Love thy neighbor as thyself. Borrow
his plow, hoe or horses whenever you can,
but if'he wants to borrow yours tell him
that you're very sorry, but you were just
going to use them yourself.
A TOAST.—Woman — the last and best
lof the series : if we may have her fora toast,
we won't ask for any but•her.
The Protestant Cow.
Paddy Murphy and his wife Bridget,
after many years of bard labor in ditch
ing and washing, had accumulated a suf
ficiency to purchase a cow, (of course they
had pigs,) which they . did at the first op
portunity. As it was bought of a Pro
testant neighbor, Pat stopped on his way
home at the house of the priest,• to pro-
cure a bottle of holy water with which to
exercise the false faith out of her.
"Isn't she a foine creature 2', asked Pat
of the admiring Bridget. "Just hold her
till I fix the shed."
To save the precious fluid from harm,
he took it into the house and set it up in
a cupboard until he had 'fixed' things.—
Then he returned and brought the bottle
back, and while Bridget was holding the
- rope - , - nroceeded to pour it upon-her-back.
But poor Pat had made a slight mis
take. Standing within the same closet
was a bottle of aquafortia, that had been
procured for a different purpose, and, as
it dropped upon the back of the poor
cow,_and_the.hair began to _smoke aLd
the flesh to burn she exhibited a decided
appearance of restlessness.
`Pour on more,Paddy,' shouted Bridget,
as she WI led stoutl at the rope.
EM3
'l'll give er enoug
and he ewptied the bottle.
Up went the heels of the cow, down
her head, over went Bridget and half a,
Aozen—of-the-‘childers,—and-away-dashed
she infuriated bcvine down the street, to
the terror of all mothers and the delight
of the doffs.
Poor Pat stood for a moment, breath
less with astonishment, and then clapping
his hands upon his hip'S, looked sorrowful
liftet - the - retretiting-cowi-and exclaimed,—
"Be jabbers, Bridget, but isn't the Pro
testant sthrong in her—the baste ?"
Brigham Young's Favorite Wife.
How large is his little family circle?
He had nineteen wives until I left, and
forty-five children. •
How does he support them?
Well, the most of them support them
selves. Brigham compels them to do it.
For instance he only allows enough to
each one to purchase the bare necessities
of life—calico dresses! Women in Utah
have the same pride and ambition about
their personal appearance that they have
anywere else. If they want anything
better, they are compelled to take in boar. !
ders or do sewing, or something of that
sort. That is the way he treats all of them
but the favorite, Amelia Fulsom. She
dresses,in silk and satin, eats at the same
table with him, and does nothing all the
day. The rest eat in the same dining-room,
and they are compelled to look on. Ful
som can do anything she likes with him.
It would be interesting to know which
of the nineteen wives was able to capture
Brigam, and maintain an ascendency over
him. How is she able to manage him?
By her temper. she has an awful tem
per, and she can scold him into anything.
Is she good looking? 'No, she is ugly,
and •over forty years old. They say lam
jealous, but that is not the case. . Well,
then, does ber charms lie in her intellect?
No, I ain't jealous of her a bit—she is the
reverse of refined—indeed, she is the coara
est and mest vulgar• of all the wives of
Mr. Young. Her reputation is bad—that
is it was bad until she married Brigham.
I don't like to repeat what is said about
her all over Salt Lake. She rules him
by her strong will and bad temper. How
does he manage the rest of his wives?
He keeps them at a distance, and no fa
miliarity is allowed from them. They
don't dare to speak to him except now
and then when he is extra good,natured.
Brigham has been a good deal of a flirt
in his day. There is no excuse for his
meanness towards his wives, because he
is enormously wealthy.-81. Louis Globe's
Interview with Ann Eliza Young.
OCCUPATION.—What a glorious thing
it is for the human heart ! Those who
work hard seldom yield to fancied or real
sorrow. When grief sits, down, folds its
hands, and•mournfully feeds upon its own
fears; waving the dim shadows that a lit
tle exertion might sweep away into a fu
neral pall, the strong spirit is shorn of its
might, and sorrow becomes our master.
When troubles flow upon you dark and
heavy, toil not with waves, and wrestle
not with the torrent ; rather seek by occu
pation to divert the dark waters that
threaten to overwhelm you into a thous
and
s channels, which the duties of life al
ways present. Before you dream of it,
those waters will fertilize the present and
give birth to fresh flowers, that will be
come pure and holy in the sunshine which
penetrates to the path of' duty in spite of
every obstacle. Grief; after all is but a
selfish feeling, and most selfish is the man
who yields himself to the indulgence of
any passion which brings no joy to his fel
low men.
WITY FARMERS ARE HE LTIII ER THAN
PROFESSIONAL MEN.-1. They may work
more, and develop all the leading muscles
of the body.
2. They take their exercise in the open
sir, and thus breathe a greater amount
of oxygen.
3. Their food and drinks are commonly
less adulterated, and far my le simple.-
4. They do not overwork their brain
as much as industrious professional men
do.
5. They take their sleep, commonly
during the hours of darkness, and do not
try to turn day into night, by sleeping
during the hours of light.
6. They are not, commonly, so ambi
tious, and do not wear themselves out so
rapidly in the fierce contests of rivalry.
"Pat, you are wearing • wour stockings
wrong side outward." "o . ch, and don't
I know it, to be sure ! There's .a hole on
the other side, there is."
Mit and <Rumor.
A marriage on a railway train may
properly be termed a railroad tie.
Why is 'making motions' at an old ram
like churning? Because it makes the
butter come.
Which looks worst, to see a dress gath
ered at the bust, or "busted" at the gath
ers ?
What is that • sic has a mouth and
never speaks and a !ed in which it never
sleeps.? A. river.
What is the difference between a temp
tation and eternity ? One is a wile of the
_deviLand_the otheris a, devil_of_a_
while.
The La Crosse Democrat says ; "They
may talk about this being a mild winter
all they please, but it is a mighty hard
winter on banks and city treasurers."
The Green Briar (Miss.) Herald, in
suspending, says : "Hang this town !
Hang all the men in it—throw the rest
into-the
' I cucumbers."
now quo
A yoing man who bad just returned
from a sequestered village to the city, de
-clared-thatit-was-sustill-ar-night-in-tbe--
country •tavern where he lodged that you
could 12 Ar a bed tick.
A man was boasting that he had been
married for twenty years and had never
given his wife a cross word. Those who
we suppose he forgot to mention anything
about that.
`ally dear," said a husband to his wife,
on observing new red striped stockings
on his only heir, "why have, you made
barber's poles out of our Child's legs ?"
Because he is a little shaver," was the
neat reply.
"Patrick," said the priest, "how much
hay did you steal ?"
"Will, I may as well confess to your
riverence for the whole stack, for I'ni go
ing after the rist to night."
A young gentleman at Kansas City
sent seventy-five cents to New York recen
tly for a method of writing without pen
or ink. He received the following inscrip
tion on a card: "Write with a pencil."
Of all the blessings enjoyed by human
beings, there is nothing better or more
desirable than a cheerful, happy home.—
It is therefore the first duty of all to en
deavor to promote the most amicable re
lations in the home circle.
Said a tipsy husband to his wife, "you
need—needn't bl—lame me!" 'Twas
woman that first tempted man to eat for
bidden things." "Woman may have
tempted man to eat forbidden things,"
said his wife, "but he , took to drinking
on his own accord."
Some jackass says, "Cheer up, cheer
up; it's a long lane that has nn turn."
Don't we know it? Of course it's a long
lane that has no turn. How perfectly
absurd to expect a fellow to "cheer up"
because a long lane has no turn! We de•
cline to cheer up fur any such reason.
Sumebody is apprehensive that after
the passage of the Civil Eights bill, we
shall to have to spell nigger with a big N,
because Caucasian is spelled with a big
C and Indian with a big This is of
course, on the principle that to spell nig
ger with a little n would be making a die
tinctieu .on account of "race, color or pre
vious condition of servitude,"
A negro preacher at a Georgia camp.
meeting told his hearers that they could
never enter heaven with whiskey bottles
in their pockets, and urged them to bring
'em right up to the pulpit, and be would
offer 'em a sacrifice to de Lord. It was
done, but the preacher was found incapa
ble when the huur for evening service ar
rived."
The story is told of a negro who pray
ed earnestly that he andhis colored breth
ern might be preserved from what he cal
led their "upsettiu' sins." "Brudder,"
said one of his ftienda=at the close of the
meeting, "you ain't got the bang of dat
ar word. It's besettin', not upsettin."--
"Brudder," replied the other, "if dat's so,
it's so. But I was praying de Lord to
save us from the sin of intoxication, and
if dat ain't an upsettin' sin I dunno what
am."
Poor innocent little Tommy! But his
mother rather got him by the short hair
for once., as vide the following:
"Little Tommy didn't disobey mamma
and go in swimming, did he?" "No, roam
ma ; Jimmy Brown and the rest of the
boys went in, but I remembered and
would not disobey you." "And Tommy
never tells a lie, does he ?" "No, mamma,
I couldn't go to heaven." Then how does
Tommy happen to have on Jimmy
Brown's shirt ?"
A colored man applied to .a Boston
savings -bank, wishing to draw-one dollar.
The clerk informed him that the iron rule
of the institution forbid the withdrawal
of less than three dollars. Our colored
brother was in deep study fer a few mo
ments, and then said : Snr, I'll take de
free dollars. The three dollars were paid
him, when at once he added: "Now, sar.
if yer please, sac, poset two dollars in
de institution." The amount was duly
received and credited, when, with his
loose dollar in his pocket,
,he gave the
clerk a sly wink, and walked away.
$2,00 PER YEAR.
kink' i ii N ;IBM!