The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, January 01, 1874, Image 1

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TEAMS—Two Whirs per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
lines) three insertions, $1,50 ; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
five Cents per Square. A liberal
' discount made to yearly saver
' tisers.
LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents*for subseouent insertions
proftfisionat (anis.
Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug
ore." pane s—tf.
•011, SUNNI M,,PIE !
Offers his professional services to the pub
lic. Office in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. • april 24—tf
OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near
the Bowden House. Night calls should be
made at his residence on Main Street ad
oining the Western School House. '
July 20-tf
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
he Bowden House. Nov 2—tf.
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N..B.—Real Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
FFERS his Professional services to the
L./citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
DR. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersburg, where he has
been prominently engaged for a number of
years an the practice of his profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
At the residence of George Besore, Esq., 'i is
Father-in-law, where he can be fount' at al
times when not professionally engaged..
July 20,1871.—tf.
3. H. FORNEY & CO.
Produn Colamisoian ,Iferchant6
Pay particular attention to the sale of
Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal advances made on consignmenti.
may 29-tf
I) _A_ I "Y"
THE subscriber notifies the public that
g he has commenced the Dairy business
And will supply citizens regularly every
morning with Milk or Cream at low rates.
Ile will also leave a supply at M. Geiser's
store where pt•rz-ons can obtain either at a
ny hour during the day.
no , 27-tf BENJ. FRICK.
PERSONS wanting Spring-tooth Horse
Bakes can be supplied with a first-class
article by calling on the subscriber. He
continues to repair all kinds of machinery
at short noticeand upon reasonable terms.
"filie Metcalf excelsior Post Boring and
Wood Sawing EcMhines always on hand.
Quincy, Pa.
Feb 27-i
Hats, Caps, Furs and Straw Goods,
No. 531 Market Street. Philadelphia, Pa
April 3-If
qIHE subscriber having rec , mtiv re-paint
ed anti papered and added new ibrni-
Lure to his shop, announces to his custom
ers and the public that be will leave noth
ing undone to give Satisfaction and make
comfortable all Who may be pleased to fa
vor hire with their patronage. Shaving.
Schampooning, Hair-cutting, etc. promptly
attended to. A long experience in the bar
bering business enables him to pro vise sat
isfaction in all cases. W. A. PRICE.
sept 18-tf
THE subscriber having leased this well
known I 3 Ael property, annoances to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate the traveling public
and others who may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times be in attendance.
May 23-tf a SAM'L P. STONER.
PERSONS in want of vehicles of any de
scription, new or second-handed, can be
supplied at the old "Waynesboro' Coach
Factory" on Church street. The subscrib
er cordially invites those desiring anything
in his line to eall and examine his stock
and learti his prices, which be feels warran
ted in saying will compare favorably with
that of any other establishment-in the coun-,
IturAtnrsa-ofalf kinds will receive prompt
Thankful to the public for - past patronage
he solicits :I eontinnal ion ~!" same in the
future. JACOB ADAMS.
april 10-tf
„Stittt fitittrg.
Ye'who have scorned each other,
Or injuired friend or brother,
In this fast-fading year;
Ye who, by word or deed,
Have made a kind heart bleed,
Come gather here.
Let sinned against, and sinning,
Forget their strife's beginning,
And join in friendship now ;
Be links no longer broken,
Be sweet forgiveness spoken,
Under the holly bough.
Ye who have loved each other,
Sister and friend and brother,
In this fast-fading year;
Mother and sire and child,
Young man and maiden mild,
Come gather here:
And let your hearts grow fonder,
As memory shall ponder
.Each broken vow.
Old loves and younger wooing
A. in thr
re sweet ie renewing
Under the holly bough.
Ye who have nourished sadness,
Estranged from hope and gladness,
In this fast-fading year ; •
Ye, kith o'er burdened mind,
Made aliens from your kind,
Come gather here.
Let not the useless sorrow
Pursue you night and morrow.
If ere you hoped, hope now—
Take heart ;—uncloud your faces
AO join in our embraces,
Under the holly bough.
isullautous grading.
"Pledge with wine, pledge with wine!"
cried the young and thoughtless Harvy
Wood. "Pledge with wine' ran thro'
the brilliant crowd.
The beautiful bride grew pale; the de
cisive hour had come. She pressed her
white hands together, -and the leaves of
the bridal wreath trembled on her brow ;
her breath came quicker, her heart beat
"Yes, Marion, lay aside your scruples
for this once," said the Judge, in a low
tone, going towards his . daughter ; "the
company expect it. Do not so seriously
infringe upon the rules of etiquette ; in
your own home act as you please ; but in
mine, for this once, please me."
Every eye was turned to the bridal
ppir. Marion's principles were_ Well
known. Henry had been a convivialist,
but of late his friends noted the change
in his manners, the difference in habits,
and to night they watched him to see, as
they sneeringly said, it he was tied down
to a woman's opinions so soon.
• Pouring a brimming beaker, they held
it with tempting smiles towards Marion.
She was still very pale, though more com
posed; and her hand shook not, as smiling
back, she gracefully accepted the crystal
tempter, and raised to her lips. But scarce
ly had she done so, every baud was arres
ted by her piercing exclamation of "oh!
how terrible."
"What is it?" cried one, and all,
thronged to together; for she slowly car
ried the glass at arm's length, and was
fixedly regarding it as though it were
some hideous object.
"Wait," she answered, while an inspir
ed light shone from her dark eyes, "wait
and I will tell you. I see," she added,
slowly, pointing one jeweled finger at the
sparkling ruby liquid, "a sight that beg
gars all description ; and yet listen ; I
will !paint it for you, if I can. It is a
lonely spot ; tall mountains crowned with
verdure rise in awful sublimity around;
a river runs through, and bright flowers
grow to the water's edge. There is a
thick, warm mist, that the sun seeks
vainly to pierce. Trees, lofty and beauti
ful, wave to the airy motion of birds; but
there, a group ff . Indiaus gather ; they
flit tc and fro with something like sorrow
upon their dark brows. Among them
lies a manly form ; but his cheeks how
deathly, his eye wild with the fitful fire of
fever. One friend stands' beside him,
.nay, I should say kneels; for see, he is
pillowing that poor head upon his breast.
"Genius iu ruins ; oh ! the high, holy
looking brow ! why should death mark,
and be so young? Look how he throws
back the damp curls ! see him clasp his
hands! hear his thrilling shrieks for life!
mark how he clutches to the form of his
companion, imploring to be saved! Oh
bear him call piteously his father's name!
see him twine his fingers together, as he
shrieks for sister, his only sister, the twin
of his soul, weeping for him in his dis
tant native land.
'•Seel" she exclaimed, while the bridal
party shrank back, the untasted wine
trembling in their faltering grasp, rind
the Judge fell, overpowered, upon his
seat ; "see 1 his arms are lifted to heaven;
he preys, how wildly, for mercy 1 hot fe
ver rushes through his veins. The friend
beside him is weeping ; awestricken, the
dark men move silently away, and leave
the livino find avinn• fnr.nther i 1
There was a hush in tliat princely par
lor, broken only by what seemed a smoth
. 7 7 77 -1 •
• A Pig -NEWSPAPER AaaktvotizirProloVouormiul aioaam, AND aENERAL
. T." 4 7 • C' !,.*, .. 4 • 14 f APfe
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- •
.., 4 -ns •"1 I' - 62'24 1 '3:5 •r• • T g.l z
ered'sob .frorn some wilily bosom. The
bride - stood •Lirei upright,' -with• quivering
lip, and tears stealing to the outward
edge of her lashes. Her beautiful,arm had
lost its tension, and the glass, with its.lit 7
tle;troubled red waves, came slowly to
ward the range of her vision. ' She spike
again ; every lip was mute her Voice was
low,- faint, yet awfully distinct ; -she still
fixed her sorrowful the wine-
, "It is evening now ; the great white
moon is coming up, and' his beams lay
gently on his forehead. He moves not ;
his are set in their sockets ; dim are their
piercing glances ; in vain his friend whis
pers the name of father and sister ; Death
is there ; Death, and no soft hand, no
gentle voice to bless and- soOth him. His
head sinks back, and convulsive shudder
—he is dead I"
A groan ran through the asiembly ;*so
vivid was the description; unearthly
her look, so inspired her manner, that
what'she described seemed actually to
have taken place then and ',there. they
noticed, also, that the bridegroom hid his,
face in his hands, and was weeping.'
"Dead 1" she repeated again, her li . pS
quivering faster and fastei, and.ler voice
more and more broken.; and they' scoop
him a grave; And thcre,,withottiafihnvel,
they lay him down in the damp," reeking'
earth. The only son of a proud father,
the only, the idolized brother of a fond'
sister. And he sleeps to-day in that dis
tant country, with no stone to mark the
spot. There he lies r my father's son, my
poison. Father," she exclaimed, turning
=uddenly, while-the-lears:rairre. -
beautiful cheeks, "Father, shall I drink
it now ?" •
The form of the old Judge was con
vulsed with agony. He raised not his
head, but in a smothered voice he faltered,
"No,_ no my child, in God's name, no."
She lifted the glistening goblet, and
letting it suddenly fall to the floor, it was
dashed in a thousand pieces. Many a
tearf2l eye watched her movement, and
instantaneously every wine glass was
t. nsferred to the marble table on which
t had been piepared. Then as she look
ed at the fragments of crystal, she turned•
to the company,, saying, "let no friend
here after, who loves me, tempt me to
peril my soul flit- wine. No firmer are
the everlasting hills then my resolve, God
helping me, never to touch or taste that
terrible poison.
"And he to whom I have given .my
hand, who watched over my brother's
dying form in that last solemn hour and.
buried the dear wanderer • there by the
river in that land of gold, will, I trust,
sustain me in that resolve. Will you not,
•my husband?
His glistening eyes, his sad, sweet smile,
was her answer. The judge left her
room, and when an hour after he returned,
and with a more suodued manner took
part in the entertainment of the bridal
guests, no one could fail to read that he,
too, had determined to banish the enemy
at• once and forever from his princely
home. Those who were present at that
wedding can never forget the impression
then made.
When a farmer knows that agate is
better, and as a time and labor-saving fix
ture, cheaper than a set of bars and posts
and without calling on a carpenter he can
himself make one—why don't, he do it?
When he has no other fastenings to his
gate and barn doors than a stone rolled
against them, and' in a single evening af
ter supper, is able to make a better one—
why don't he do it?
Or when he sees the boards dropping
from his barn and outbuildings, and like
heaps, of rubbish lying in piles around the
premises, and need only nailing on again
—why don't he do it?
Or if he is afraid of the expenses of
nails, and is always crying up the maxim
of Dr. Franklin, "save the pence, and
pounds will take care of themselves," and
he knows that the same Dr. Franklin al
so said that "many men are penny wise
and pound foolish,"' and he does not care
to think of the precept contained in the
latter—why don't he do it?
If he knows that many of his fields
would be greatly improved by ditching,
and by the removal of stumps and stones
—why don't he do it?
And when he knows that his pasture
would yield nearly double the feed, and
of a better quality, if the bushes were all
cut and subdued—why don't he do it ?
And if he can add fifty per cent. to the
product of his farm by the use of gypsum
—why don't he do it.
If he can enhance the value of- his
dwelling ten fold, and the comfort of his
family a hundred fold by a small expen
diture—why don't he do it?
If keeping good fences make gentle
stock arid good neighbors—why don't he
do it?
TAE DUTIES or YouTEL—The first
years of man must make provision for the
last. He who never thinks never can be
wise. Perpetual levity ends in ignoran
and intemperance, though it may fire the
spirits for an hour, will make life short
and miserable. Let us consider that youth
is of no long duration, and that in•mature
age, when the enchantments of fancy shall
cease, and phantoms of delight dance no
more about us, we shall have no mor:.
comforts but the esteem of wise men, and
the means of doing good ; let us therefore
stop, while to stop is in our power: let us
live as men who are sometime to grow old,
and to whom it will be the most dread
ful of all to count their past years by fol
lies, and to be reminded of their former
luxuries of health only by the maladies
which riot has produced.
A keyhole is a good opening for small
Why don't He do It.
'The Lucky Old IVlaidj.
The following true story might perhaps .
furnish mitteriorn little comedy, ifcom
edies were still.written in England : "
• it is generally the case, that the more.
beautiful and the richer a young fel:laid
the more diffiehlt are both her parents
and herself-in-the choice of a husband,
and the more offers they refuse. The one
is too tall, and_ the other tod short, this
not wealthy, that not respectable enough.
Meanwhile one 'Spring passes after anoth,
er,'and year after year carries away leaf
after leaf of the broom of youth, and op
portunity after opportunity. Miss Har
riet Selwood was the richest heiress in her
native town, but she had already comple
ted her twenty-seventh year. and beheld
almost all. her young 'friends united to
men whom ,slwhad ; at one time or other,
discarded. Harriet began to be set'down
for an " old maid. Her parents became
Wally 'uneasy, and she herself lamented
in private a position which is not a swim' ,
al- one, and to adich those to tvhblit 'na
ture and fortune have been niggard of
I Their' gifts are dbiiged to submit;. but
Harriet, aswe have said, was handsome
and rich.
Suchivas-thettate of thingS when her
,nnole,. a 'veglthy•merchant in the north
of England r ,calne, on a visit to her pa
rents: Ile was a'ovial, lively, straight.
forward Man,' accustomed to attack all
difftailtleslioldly and coolly. .
• • "You- see," - .said her father to' hitt ene
day, 4 ,'Harriet.contin - u - e.s - siaglehe girl - '
is handsome; what she is to have. for her,
-fortune;-yciu know ; even in t is scandal
loving town not a creature can breathe
: ion.against her.'
• "True," replied the uncle ; "but look
you, brother, the grand point in every af
fair in this world is to seize the right mo
ment ; this you haves not done. - It is a
misfortune, but let the girl go along with
me, and before the end of three months I
will return her to you as the wife of a
man as young and wealthy as herself."
Away went the neice with her uncle.—
On the way he thus.addressed her': -
"Mind what I am going ,to say.-
are no longer_,Miss Selwood, but Mrs.
Lumley, my niece; a: young, wealthy, and
childless widoW; you had the misfortune
to lose your lusband, Colonel Lumley,
after. a happy union of a quarter of a year
by a fall from his horse while hunting."
"But, uncle—"
'"Let me manage, if you please, Mrs.
Lumley. Your father has invested me
with full powers. • Here, look you, is the
wedding ring given you by your late hus
band. Jewels, and whatever else you
need, your stint will supply you with ;
and accustom yourself to cast down your
eyes '.
The keen-witfed uncle introduced his
niece everywhere, and everywhere tlie^
young widOw excited .a great sensation.—
The gentlemen thronged about her, and
she soon had her choice out a twenty sui.
tors. Her uncle advised her to accept
the one deepest in love with her, and a
rare chance decreed that this should be
precisely the most amiable - and opulent.
The match was soon concluded, and one'
day the uncle desired to say a few words
to his future nephew in private.
'My dear sir,' • he began, "we have told
you an untruth."' •
"How so'? .Are Mrs. Lumleyi affec
tions—" ,
"Nothing of tba.ltind ; .my niece is 'sin
cerely attached fo You ,/ •
"Then her fortune, I suppose, iS not: e
qual to what yoti' told
"On the contrary-, it is larger."
"Well, what-is the.matter, then ?" -
, "A joke,7an innocent joke, whiclrcame
into my head, one - day, when I was in a
'good humor ' we could not well recall it
afterward. 111 y peice is not a wiEw."
"What, is Colonel 'Lumley living?"
"No, no, she is a spinsteri".
The lover protested that he veg.& hap
pier fellow than ever he conceived him
self; and the old maid was forwith meta
morphosed into a young wife:.
Down the Hill.
The evening of every man's lifh is coin
ing on apace. The clay of life will soon
be spent. The sun, though it may be in
mid heaven, will pass swiftly down the
western sky, and disappear.' What shall
light up man's path when the sun oflife
has gone down? He must travel on to
the next world; but what shall illumine
his footsteps' after the nightfall of death,
amid the darkness of death, amid the dark
ness of his journey? What question more
important, more practical, more solemn
for each reader of our journal to ask him
self? That is'a long journey to 'travel
without light, without a guide and without
a friend. Yet every man must perform
it. , The time is not far distant when all
Men will begin the journey.
There is -an evening in the natural
wcrld. Its radiance isbright and beauti
ful, and cheering to the benighted traveler:
But life's evening . star is in a good hope
of heaven. Its beauty and brilliancy are
reflected from the Son of Righteousness,
whose bright rays light up the evening of
Rd throw their radiance quite across
r he darkness of the grave into Raman
uel's laid. It has illuminated many a
traveler into eternity. It is of priceless
value. A thousand worlds cannot pur
chase it; vet it is offered without money
and without price to him who will peni
tently and thankfully receive it.
The man who will distance his compe
titors is he who masters his business, who
preserves his integrity, who lives clearly
and purely, who devotes his leisure to the
acquisition of knowledge, who never gets
in debt, who gains friends by deserving
them, and who saves his money.
A 'triple wedding is announced to take
111 1. s• 1 ,1 •
j 1 which
three brothers are to marry three sis
Joys that we've tasted may sometimes re
But the terch when once wasted, ah, . how
can it burn ;
Splendors now clouded,: say, when will ye
' shine ?
Broke,is the goblet andwasted the Wine.''•
Many the changes since last ve have met;
Joys•have been heightebed and tears have
. .
been shed;
Friends have been scattered like roses in
bloom, ' •
Some at the altar and some at the. tomb.
I stood in yon chamber, 140 one, was not
. _
. there,
Hushed wacthe lute - stiing and yacant the
Lips of love'f, melody, whereare ye borne ?
Sextet' ; ah r never to mourn:
A Remarkable Lecture.
'FrObably no friend of colored race
Oieinpoke morn ationiet in their behalf
than did General Roger A. Pryor, in •••a
lecture delivered in Brooklyn, on •Tues
day last. A. faithful Abelitionist_of the•
struggle against slavery , could not have
been more enthusiastic in their defence or
more flattering in his prophecies of their
future. Of-tife-past-of-the-colored-mau
he said; "The bistor of his race_is_one_
ong, ea, story of lamentation and woe, of
misery and oppressiobut_l!he-is-gradr
. .
uallp making himself `_competent to at'
hi_ hest achievemet tof ei vilzationX-Ari.
again : "His virtues are his own ; .bis vi
ces are the result of the untoward circum
stances that have surrounded him."
General Pryor contradicted the com
mon notion that the race is dying ont, 7 —
It increased twenty- per cent. between
1860 and 1870. The negroes 'are devel
oping the resources of the' country, and
doing better as freemen than as slaves.
The voluntary laborers of 1872 sent to
market more cotton by 150,000 bales than
the slave,. of 1860. And they Are iinprov
ing in morality and education. "To be
sure," said General Pryor othe system o£
slaver) , was not the best school in which
to learn the science of government, but
we have not yet heard that a negro Con- .
gressmen was in any way implicated in
the Credit Mobilier scandal, and I do not
believe that the negro Legislature of
South Carolina was any more imrchasa
ble than the New York Assembly during
the days of the Ring. What the -negro
wants is a chance to advance with the rest
of mankind. In the North thre theatres,
the hotels, even the churches are closed to
him and when be dies, prejudice actually
defies the equality of the grave and for
bids that his' bones Shall desecrate the
sanctity of Greenwood and Woodland and
Laurel Hill."
General Pryor anticipated that there
would be a gradual movement of the race
Southward, until the extreme Southern
States would become their home, that
there they would increase to the number
of ten millions in half a century, and that
they will bring to the Councils of the na
tion patriotism, intelligence and probity.
It is a remarkable instance of the changes
which time works, that an ultra Souther
ner should become the defender and advo•
.sate , of the negro.before a Northern audi
ence.—Baltimore American.
Grand Council of Indians.
The St. Louis Republican of the 4th
says : The grand council of the Indian
nation is now in session at Boggy Depot,
Choctaw Nation.' This body is composed
of delegates representing the Cherokees,
1 Creeks, Seminole", Choctaws and Chick
asaws. It is. probable also that the Osa
ges, Caddocs, Wacees, Spawnees and
Kechies will be represented in this impor
tant meeting. The best talent of the
civilized tribes has beds' called together
and.the deliberations of this body is like
ly to be productiie of important results.
Ross, of the Cherokees, M'lntosh, of the
Creeks, Allan Wright, of the Choctaws,
and Harris, of the Chickasaus, are all
men of education and -ability. Of the
tribes on our western border, the Chick
emus, are most advanced in the arts of
civilization. They have some elegant
school-houses and excellent public build
ings at Tishomingo, the capital. They
are more permanent in their habitations.
They are at least opposed to a division of
the lands and the organization of a ter
ritorial form ofgovernment. Their Gov
'ernor, Mr. Harris, is-a man of enligh
tened views and .ability. He is under
stood to be in favor of a division of the
land and the establishment. of a general
governnient ' over all the tribes. The
Choctaws and Cherokees are next in the
degree of civilization attained. The lead
ing men of the-Choctaws, among whom
is ex-Governer Allen Wright,i are also
understood to-favor his progressive, meas
ure. The Creeks and Seminoles are least•
advanced,"and are very generally opposed
to any progressive measures.
The Cherokee are very much divided.
among themselves, and' party spirit in
tLat nation is exceedingly rancorous.—
Delegates from the tribes further to the
west will probably have little influence in
shaping the policy of the nation.
It is
. understood that the members of
the council were selected
.and organized
in the interest of the Okmulgee constitu
tion, which was rejected by, the tribes,
something like a year ago. It is probable
that this instrument will he modified and
again offered to the several tribal councils
for acceptance or rejection.
Silence is beautiful in a wise man ; but
how much more in a fool.
The past eontaing remit—lnek net heel;
at,it. •
A straight Dial often is thorny one
Wealthy Speculators `Rnined.
All of the wealthy "speculators who for
years have operated in stocks have been
wiped out by the decline. There is con
sequetitly no one to • uphold and sustain
the .inarket. Of the crippled wealthy
speculators, James Banker was the chief.
Beginning life a poor boy, be, was coach
ed•by•Oom.•Vanderbilt, until his income
became between "$300,000 and $400,000
annually. He scattered his money with
a most lavish hand, making princely be
quests to his relatives and friends. It is
not long ago that he presented to his sis
ter—Mrs. Judge Hilton—a brown-stone
house up-town, for which he paid $lOO,-
000. is compelled to make
Var his property to Com. Vanderbilt, to
insure the latter against losses brought on
•by his own speculations. • Daniel Drew,
who has operated so largely in years gone
by, has been, so report says, wiped out.—
,Richard Schell one, of_the recognized
bulls for 'years has gone under. Stock-
Well,,the'noted Racific mail manipulator,
has collapsed: John Stewart, the king-pin(
in the speculative ring has been, report
says, cleaned out. And so,I might con
tinue to name - one heavy speculator after
another that has been swept under by the
present financial storm.
The withdrawal of these men from the
speculative mart takes large schools, of
smaller fish, who
,have been accustomed
to - follow-in-there-wake; ancL have_ been
rippled-along-with'thew. As - a - zesult,
the street is pretty well cleaned of specu
lators-and-the-brokers predict that there,
will be little or no speculation until an
*-ntirl • •. • o mea ma. e - t.eir ap
pearance'in the market. '
Masks and Faces.
A ,nobleman. once givel'airand feast
ta suineef hi§ friends. - While his visitors
were sitting, at his table, there came into
tfie - room a little lady and . gentleman,
moat Splen'didly dressed, wearing a mask
but no taller than children of five or six
,years of age. The gentleman wore a'scar
let coat, trimmed with gold lace, 'his
large. curly wig was powdered £4,9 as to
look as white as snow, anclin his hand he
.heldn, -cocked.' hat. The lady had on a
dress of brocaded' satin, tritned with sit=
ver, spangles. She' wore, a beautiful-little
hat an feather„ and- held . , a, .fan in her
hand. They 'began' dancing Very grace
fully; and sprang, about in 'such a charm . .
ing ;way' that' everybody was delighted'
with these pretty, well behaved children.
An old .officer who was dining there,
suddenly took a - rosy apple from the ta
ble, and threw it between the pretty'dan
.cers. Then there did begin- a scu ffl e and
ato do. They fell upon each-other, tore
each other's clothes, scratched and scram
bling, till off fell mask 'and head dress,.
and instead of two pretty children; two
ugly monkeys stood before the company,
Everybody was surprised,
_yet laughed a
loud ; but the old officer said, ."Monkeys
and foolish people manage to look. well.
fur 'a time in• fine clothes, but they soon
show what they are."
"If sense and wisdom are not ours,
In vain we dress as gay as flowers.
pecked man, says Josh Billings, iz - most
generally married, but there are instances
on the record of single men being harras
ed by the pullets. You can alwus tell
one ov these kind ov men, especially if
they are in the company of their wives:
They look as resigned tew their fate as a
hen turkey on a wet day. There ain't
'nothing that will take the starch out of a
man like being pecked by a' woman. It is
wus than a seven months ov the fever and
agy. The jives of, heb•pecked husbands
most always outliv their victims, and I
have known them' to get married again,
and git hold ov a man that time (thank
the Lord) whO understands all• the hen
pecked dodges. One ov these kind ov
husbands iz an honor to his sex. The
hen-pecked man, when he gits amongst
men, puts on air of bravery and defiance
and once in a while will git a leetle drunk
and .then go home with a firm resolve
that he will be captain ov his household ;
but the old woman soon takes the glory ,
out ov him, and .handles him jest as she
would a half grown chicken, who had fell
into a swill-barrel, and had to be jerked
out awful quick.
The following is an extract from one of
Peter Cartwright's sermons : •
As I was riding along the road some
time ago, a man overtook me who looked
as Wile might be a preacher: He called
me by name, after some talk, asked if I
was ready to hear .the truth. 'I told him
Cartwright was my name, my , debts were
paid, my will made and that I was - ready
"Very well," said he, "you old ignora-.
mus, hypocrit, you ought to know too
much or be too honest to remain a Meth
odist, I used• to be one myself—yes, a
Methodist preacher—until I found out
the error of my way."
Ho I Ho I said I, and what are you
now? Cartwright mentioned the name of
the denomination to which his interlocu-,
'tor had gone, but which I need not repeat,
and then proceeded : Now, brethern,
knew well enough that the deVil
only one of get'a man out
of the Methodist church into that denom
ination, and that there must be. rascality
' in money matters, a woman scrape, or
liquor at 'the bottom of this fellow's
So judging from his looks, I pulled a
bow at venture and said, "What was that
fuss you bad about a woman ?" 'Cart
wright you old rascal!' ho shouted in n
rage, "How did you ever hear about that?"
and putting whip to his horse he was soon
out of sight. I never saw. or heard of the
.tars ira I IZetil
that enon—no; drove that
,skunk to his
V: i;.!
tro U aid Slurt or.
A well•dreeaed . dog wears a collar in
the winter and pants in.summer.
A bill posted on the walls of an English
country village, announces that a lecture
Wilt be delivered in the open air, and a
collection taken up at the door to defray
Western women are grumbling terribl
because the managers of the agricultural
fairs don't give at least a year's notice
when , they offer prizes for the finestl , ll .. )t,-
Where is ''parts unkno*n?" asked a,
correspondent of the Danbury News, to
which Bailey answers very truthfully—
'Where they don't advertise."
ere shall I put this paper so as to
be sure of finding it to-morrow ?" inquir
ed Mary Jane of her brother Charles.—
"On the looking-glass," was her brothel's
young gentleman ofKansas City sent
seventy-five cents to New York recently,
foi'a method of writing without pen or
ink. lie received the ' foll Owing inscrip
tion,'On a card: 'W,rite with a pencil'
, A Bridgeport lady remained too long
on a train to kiss a female friend, and try
thrown violently on her face. "If ever I
_kiss anybody-agamrshe said i
as sho arose ; "any woman, at least," she
Upon the "outer wall" of a neighboring
female college the• other morning was
discovered, conspicuously displayed, the
sign, "Domestic - Sewing Machines." Some
of those specimens of total depravity known
as college students did it.
' A gentleman who rather suspected some
, one was peeping through the keyhole of
his office door, investigated with a syringe
full of pepper sauce, and went home to
find that his wifa had been cutting wood,
and a chip had hit her in the eye!
"Tatoes!" cried a darkey .peddler in,
Richmond, Virginia. "Hush,dat racket,
you 'distracts de whole 'neighborhood,"
came from a colored woman in the doorway.
You kin hear me, kin . you? "Hear you.
'I can hear you a mile." "Tank hebben
fnr"'dat. lis a hollowing to be heerd.
A kind luminary recently asked his pet
scholar why they took Stephen outside
the walls of the city to stone him to death.
The lithe fellow was silent for s mo
ment, as though absorbed ;with the pro
blem, when brightening up suddenly, he
replied: 'So they could get a 4.tter crack
at him;
A good mother was trying to explain
to a young . hopeful the' other day about
fighting against the Aeon. - After telling
the little fellciw who the devil was, and
how hard' he was to 'aneeessfillly resist,
he turned around and_said: "Mnmma, I'd
he scared of the old devil, but if I was to
come across one of his little .devils, I'd
knock the stuffing out of him."
There is a young lady at Norristown
who is' in the habit • of putting her chew
ing gum on the bedpost before she closes
her charming eyes m sleep, and Friday
night she slept in a bed that been
Occupied the previous evening by a male
member of the family who was in the habit
of putting his quid of tobacco also on the
bedpost, and leaving it these sometimes.
When she got - up in the morning she
put 'the quid in her mouth, and new labors
under the impression that the bugs must
have taken refuge in her gum.
A city youth disposed to be facetious
at the expense of a countryman, asked
him why sheep stayed white when they
eat so much green grass. The countryman
said he did not know, and asked4the city
bred which was the best side to milk a' cow.
The city-bred, in return, said he did not
know, and asked the vountrYman which
was the best side. He got a reply, "out
side," and did not ask any more questions,
perils of a traveler were illustrated by the
condtictor on the Mount Washington rail
road this summer: - Wheriion the steepest
place of that steepest rail track in all the
earth a man. was frightened . and said to
the conductor:
"Suppose the locomotive, should give
out; where would'we go" to?"
• "Alt," said the conductor,!` there is a
brake at the front end of tbe•car."
• "But," said the traveler, "suppose that
should give out, where _would we go to?"
Said the conductor: "There is' another
brake you see, on the car." •
"But said the affrighted passenger,
"suppose that also 'should giNe away,
where then would we go?"
And the conductor replied significantly:
"That depends upon how you have lived."
spring day rwrilked aheing the briwk-side.
All at 'once a little Cluster of violets
caught my eye. There they were, as tidy
as'a little Sabbath School class. They
were_ the first_l had „seen that" year. -1
hastened to gather them, without looking
for any danger at hand. But scarcely
bad my fingers touch them, before a little
red forked tongue was shot out toward
me. The serpent was there. "Ah,"
thought I, "this is the way with many
little charming pleasures—they . hide a
*serpent. - Every tempting sin hides some
thing more than a snake. Watch, or you
will be wounded."
riaZqiirr !
0 0
A good name will outlast all 'riches.