BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 26.
THE WAYNESBORO' VILLAGE RECORD,
• PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
By W. BLAIR.
TERMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
ADVERTISEMENTS--One Square (10
lines) three insertions,sl,so; for
each subsequent insertion, Thit':
five Cents per Square. A. liberal
discohnt made to yearly adver
tisers.
LOCALS.—Bnsiness Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subseauent insertions
professional Otiards.
J. B. AMBERSON..M. D.,
PLII - SICIAN AND SURGEON,
Office at the Waynesboro' :"Corner- Drug
ore." [jano 29—ff.
0133.. PAN M., RilißP-11,E 0
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Offers his professional services to the pub
lic_ Office in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. april 24—tf
DR. BENJ. FRANTZ,
--I'll-1 - SICIAN_,IND_SE.R_GE 01V;
OFFICE--In the Walker Building—near
the Bowden House. Night calls should be
made at his residence on Hain Street .ad
oining the Western School House.
July 20-tf
ISAAC N. SNIVELY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
WAY7.4EBBORO' PA.
•affice at his residence, nearly opposite
he Bowden House. Nov 2—tf.
JOSEPH DOUGLAS
ATTORNEY AT .LAW.
WAYNESBORO', PA.
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Real Estate leased and sold, wad
Fire lusurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
1181., A, til STRAW.IiIa,
(FORMERLY OF MERCERSRURG, PA.,)
OFFERS his Professional services to the
citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Merccrsburg, where he hat;
been prominently engaged for a number of
,years in the practice of his profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
at the residence of George Besore, Esq., .1
Father-in-law, where he can be fowl(' atal
times when not professionally engagel
July 20, 1871.-tf.
—-- - - -
H. FORNEY & CO.
Prgdugg CQVIZA-L5.8i9.32 MergAgitts
No. 77 'NORTH STREET,
' BALTIMORE, AD:
Pay particular attention to the sale of
:Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal advances mane on consignments.
may-29-tf
RA.IKES.
TIEBSONS wanting Spring-tooth Hors 3
Bakes can be supplied with a first-class
article by calling on the subscriber. He
continues to repair all kinds of machinery
at short noticeand upon reasonable terms.
'The Metcalf excelkor Post Boring and
Wood sawing EcMhines always on hand.
.foHN L. METCALF,
Feb 27- 4. Quincy, Pa.
MUILINERY MOS V,
IVERS. C. L. lIOLLINBERGER now boat-
Itited at 37 Pearl Street, Baltimore, Md.',
has opened a new Stock of the best and
most fashionable Millinery Goods, Orders
from th 4 country promptly filled at prices
"which will give entire satisfaction.
()it 30— t f '
T. H. WELSH
W. V. LIPPINCOTT & CO,
AVIIOLESALE DEALERS IN
'Hats, Caps, Furs -,ual Straw 'Goods,
I. 3„i Market Strett, Philadelphia, Pa
.april 3-tf
BARBERING ! BARBERING !
TIII subscriber having rec , ntiv re-pa int
ed and papered and added new furni
ture tobis shop, announces to his custom
ers and the public that he will jeave noth
ing undone to give satisfaction and make
comfortable all who may be pleased to fa
vor him with their patronage. Shaving,
Sehtunpooning, Hair-cutting, etc. promptly
attended to. A long experience in the bar
bering business enables him to promise sat
isfaction in all cases. W. A. PRICE.
Sept 18-tf
THE BOWDEN HOUSE
MAIN STItEET,
WAYNESBORO', PENN'A.
THE subscriber having leased this well
known H.del property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate the traveling public
.and others who may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times be in attendance.
May 23-tf S.l3l'L P. STONER.
COACIIMAKING.
"PERSONS in want of vehicles of any de
-1 scription, new or second-handed, can be
supplied at the old "Waynesboro' Coach
Factory" on Church street. The subscrib
er cordially invites those desiring anything
in his line to mil and examine his stock
and learn his prices, which he feels warran
ted in saying will compare favorably with
that of any other establishment in the coun-
ty.
REPAIRING of all kinds will receiveproinpt
attention.
Thankful to the public for past patronage
he solicits It continuation of the:4lone in the
April 10-tf
[Witten-for-the Village-Recorl —
EFFIE AND WILLIE'S PRATER.
'Twas the eve before Christmas; "Good
night" had been said,
And Effie and Willie had crept into Ixed
There were tears on their pillows, and tears
in there eyes,
And each little bosom was heaving with
sighs
For to-night their stern father's command
had been given,
That they should retire precisely at seven
Instead of eight; for they troubled him
more
Wit h questions unheard of than ever before;
He had told them that he thought this de
lusion a sin,
No such being as "Santa Claus" ever had
been,
And hoped after this, he should never-more
_heai
How he scrambled down chimneys with
presents each year,
And this was the reason that two little heads
So restlessly tossed on their soft downy
beds.
Eight, nine, and the clock on the steeple
tolled ten— •
Net a word had been spoken by either till
then ;
When Willie's sad face from the blanket
did peep,
And whispered, "Dear Ellie, is you fast
asleep ;"
, `Why, no, brother Willie," a sweet voice
replies,
"I've tried it in vain, but I can't shut my
• eyes;
For somehow, it makes me sorry because
Dear papa has said there is no 'Santa Claus;"
Now we know there is, and it can't be de
nied,
For he came every year before mamma
died ;
But then, I've been thinking that she used
to pray,.
And God would hear everything mamma
would say,
And perhaps she asked him to send Santa
Claus here,
With the seeks full of presents he brought
every yesr."
Well, wby Wit we psy dest as mamma did
then,
And ask him to send him with presents a-
den ?"
"I've been thinking so, too, and without a
word more,
Four little bare feet bounded on the floor,
And four little knees the soft carpet pressed,
And too little hands were clasped to each
breast.
"Now, 'Willy, you khow we must firmly be.
That the presents we ask for we'er sure to
reee!Ve,
You must keep just as still till I say amen,
And by that you will know that your turns
come then,"
"Dear Jesus, look down on my brother and
me,
And. grant us the favor we are asking of
thee,
I want a wax-dolly, a tea-set and ring,
And an ebony work-box that shuts with a
spring.
Bless papa—dear Jesus, and cause him to
see
That Santa Claus loves tta far better than he,
Don't let him get fretful any angry again,
At dear brother Willie and Effie, amen !"
"PlesQo Jesus 'et Santa Taus turn down. to
night..
And bring us some presents before it is
'ight,
I want he should dive me a nice new sled,
With bright, shiny runners, all painted
yed ;
An a box full ofeandy, a book and a toy,
Amen, and then, dear Jesus I'll be a dood
bov."
Their prayers being ended they raised up
their heads,
And with hearts light and cheetful'again
sought their beds,
And were soon lost in slumber both peace
ful and deep,
And with fairies in dreamland, were roam
ing in sleep,
Eight. nine. and the little French clock had
struck ten,
Eve the father had thought of his children
again;
He seems now to hear Effie's half suppress
ed sighs,
And to see the big tears stand in Willie's
blue eyes.
"I was harsh with my darlings" he mental
ly said,
And should not have sent them so early to
bed;
But then I was troubled—my feelings found
vent,
For bank-stock today has gone down ten
per cent:
But of course they forget their troubles ere
this,
And then I denied them the thrice asked
for kiss,
But just to make sure I'll steal up to their
door,
Forl never spoke harsh to my darlings be
JACOB ADAMS
tied Voetrg.
BY JOBS H. BARNES
A-FAMILY NEWSPAPL'R.DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC.
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1873.
fore,"
So saying he softly ascended the stairs,
And arriving at the door, heard both of
their prayers.
His Effie's, 'bless papa' draws forth ihe• big
tears,
And Willie's•brave promise falls sweet on
his ears,
"Strange, strange I'd forgotten them," he
said with a sigh,
How I lunged when a child have Christ
mas draw nigh :
"I'll atone for my harshness he inwardly
said,
By answering their prayers ere I sleep in
. my bed,
Then he turned to the stairs and softly went
down
Threw off velvet slippers and silk dressing
gown ;'
Donned hat, coat, and was out in the street
A millionaire forcing the cold driven sleet,
Nor stop he till he had bought everything
From the boxful of candy to the tiny gold
- ring, '
Indeed he kept adding so much •to the
store ;
That the various presents outnumbered a
score ;
Then homeward he went with his holiday
load,
And r with Aunt Mary'i aid in ih'e nursery
was stowed
Miss Dolly was seated beneath a pine tree;
By the side of a table spread out fora tea,
The work-box well filled in the centre was
laid,
And on it a ring for which Effie had pray-
ed, •
A soldier in uniform stood by a sled,
With bright shining runners and all paint-
ed red,
There were balls, dogs and horses, books
pleasing to bee,
And birds of all color were perched in a
tree;
While Santa Claus laughing stood in the
top,
As if gently ready more presents to drop,
And as the fond father the picture survey
ed,
He thought for his trouble he had amply
been paid,
And he said to himself as he brushed off a
tear,
I am happier to-night than I've been for a
year.
I've enjoyed more true pleasure than ever
before,
What care I if bank-stock falls•ten per cent.
more,
Hereafter I'll make it rule I believe
To have t:ianta, Claus visit us. each Christ-
nias eve.
So thinking he gently extinguished the
light,
And tripped down stairs to retire for the
night,
As soon as the beams of the bright morn-
ing sun,
Put the darkness to light and the stars one
by one,
Four little blue eyes out of sleep open wide,
And at the same moment the presents es
pied,
Then out of their bed they spring with a
bound
And the very gifts prayed for wcre all to be
found ;
They laughed and they cried in their iuno-
cent glee,
And Shouted for papa to come quick and
sec,
What presents old Santa Claus had brought
in the night,
(Just the thing they wanted) and left before
light,
"And now" added Effie in a voice soft and
low,
Yo'll believe '„here's Santa Claus papa, I
know ;
While dear little Willie climbed upon his
knee,
Determined no secret between them should
be
And told, in soft whispers, how Effie had
said,
That their dear blessed mammaso long ago
dead,
Used to kneel down and pray by the site of
her chair,
And that God up in heaven Had answered
' her prayer!
"Then we dot up and prayed dust as well as
we could,—
And Dod answerep our prayer, now wasn't
he dood ?"
"I should say that he was if he sent you all
these,
And knew just what presents. my children
would please,
(Well, well, let him think so the dear lit-
tle elt,
'Mould be cruel to tell him I did it my-
self.
Blind father,! who caused your stern heart
to relent?
And the hasty words spoken so soon to re
pent?
'Twas the being who bade you steal softly
upstairs,
And made you His agent to answer their
prayers.
Prrrsatrao, PA., December, 1873
A new religious sect has been recently
organized in Roanoke county Va., They
are disaffected Tanker, and call them
selves "Christ's Followers."
The Kerkhuer Democrat asks; "Who
is there that is not chained to some rock
of the past, with the vulture of Memory
tearing at his vital:., screaming forever in
the ear of Coweieuce ?"
glisteliamous Beading.
KITTY'S RUSE.
"I can't stand this any longer, Kitty ;
this surpense is wearing out my life. I
mean to have a talk with your father this
very night, and know the worst, whatever
it is."
Brown-eyed, brown-haired Kitty Cline
looked up in dismay at her lover's cloud
ed and resolute face.
"Oh, Robert, tray be patient a little
while longer ! You know just how con
trary and set in his way father is. If you
do as you say, the upshot will be that he
will forbid you coming to the house at
all. You leave it to me. I have a plan
in my head. Be to Cousin .lane's tomor
row evening, and I will tell you how it
works."
As Robert Dunn left the house which
he did with a lighter heart than when he
entered it, he met Mr. Cline at the gate,
who glared wrathfully at him
_in return
for his pleasant greeting.
He was a short, thick-set man, with a
red, uncomfortable-looking face, an the'
his collar was too tight for him.
Stumping into the house with consider
ably more noise than was necessary, he
turned to the window where Kitty was
sitting, humming a tune, a careless, un
coaeerned look upon her face, which beli
ed the frightened feeling at her heart
- "What's that young fellow — coming
here so much for, Kitty r
Kigy tossed her head with an air of
"For what he won't get, smart as he
thinks liiuhselff He wanted that I should
let him speak to you, but I told him that
it wouldn't be the least particle of use."
The old man glared at his daughter
with and air of mingled astonishment and
indignation that was ludicrous to witness.
"You did, hey ?"
"Yes," replied Kitty, composedly thread
ing her needle. "He seems to have got
the idea into his head, some way, that
you would favor his suit, but I told him
it wouldn't make any difference if you
did."
Here Mr. Cline fairly choked with rage,
being unable to give utterance to his feel
ings only by an inarticulate sound.
"And that, furthermore he needn't take
the trouble to call here again," continued
Kitty,' placidly, apparently entirely un
conscious of the storm that was gath
ering.
"And have you the assurance to tell me
miss," burst forth the indignant old gen
tleman, "that my favoring his suit will
make no difference ?"
"Well, papa, of course I'd be sorry to
run counter to your wishes—"
',l'd rather think you would be," inter
rupted her father ; "it's an operation that
you would not care to repeat—not while
I'm above ground. Mr. Dunn is an in
telligent and worthy young man, of whose
preference any lady with the least partic
le of sense would be proud. I shall invite
him to continue his calls here, and re
member that it is my wish that you treat
him with the respect and consideration he
deserves."
Hawing thus delivered himself, Mr.
Cline left the room with an air of great
satisfaction ; Kitty making no response,
save by a subdued sniffle behind the
handkerchief, in which she had buried her
face.
Having first made sure that her father
had taken himself off down the street, she
dried her laughing eyes, and as soon as it
began to grow dusk, she went over to her
cousin's where she knew Robert would be
waiting for her, to tell him of her success,
and to instruct him into his part in the
little comedy that was being enacted.
At Mr. Cline's express invitation, he
continued his calls with more frequency
than before, being treated by Kitty, when
her father was present, with a coolness
which the young man took with very
commendable philosophy and resigna
tion.
Perhaps the warmth and cordiality of
his host had something to do w)th this, or
he might have been sustained by various.
private interviews with Kitty, and which
seemed to be very pleasant and satistheto
ry to all concerned.
Emboldened by the marked encourage
mept given him by the old gentleman.
Robert finally asked him for the hand of
his daughter, receiving his unqualfiied
consent.
Robert expressed his gratitude in warm
terms, taking care to hint "that he had
not received much encouragement from
Miss Kitty."
"Never you mind Kitty," returned the
old man with an air of grim satisfaction ;
"girls don't know what they want, nor
what is for their best good. I'll manage
her."
Accordingly, that very evening, Mr.
Cline communicated to his daughter what
he was pleased to term "her undeserved
good fortune."
No sooner had Kitty been given the
name of the husband destined for her than
she vehemently asserted that she would
die sooner than marry him. J-ler father
just as stoutly insisted that she should ;
and the controversy ended by his ordering
her to her chamber, declaring that she
should stay, there until she came to a
proper sense of the duty she owed him as
a daughter.
In the morning he visited Kitty, find
ing her, if possible, more contumacious
than before. Indeed, so provoking was
her language, that he assured her of his
determination to keep her on bread and
water until she submitted.
With this pleasing prospect before her,
Kitty remained "in durance vile" all
day.
She did aot seem at all cast down ; on
the contrary, she bore every appenzance
of being iu an exceedingly comfortable
contented frame of mind. She spent
the greater part of the day in answering
sundry. notes, and which were slipped un
der her door by her cousin who was in the
plot, the contents of which seemed to af
ford her great satisfaction.
When the old gentleman visited Kitty
in the evening, he found her considerably
subdued, which he ascribed, in no small
degree, to the regimen of bread and wa
ter to which he had condemned her, be
ing in blissful ignorance of the more ap
petizing fare that had been surreptitiously
smuggled into her.
When her father intimated that she
could leave her room as soon as she signi
fied her willingness to take the husband
he had selected for her, she yielded a sul
len assent.
Kitty was careful to express her deter
mination to defer her marriage as—long
as possible, and, as a natural consequence,
her father was prompt in asserting his
determination that the ceremony should
be performed at once.
Kitty contrived to retain the sullen,
resentfbi look she assumed until the hour
appointed for the wedding. Then her
face became radiant with smiles and
blushes, and which created such a marked
transtbrrnation in her countenance as to'
attract her father's attention.
"Ha! she is making the best of it, as I
knew ehe would," was his inward com
ment.
Kitty's married life was a very happy
one.
"I have the best husband in the world,"
she said, one day, in the hearing of her
father.
yon may thank me for it," he
chucklal. ' "You never would have mar
ried Robert if I hadn't insisted on it.—
Girls never know what is good for 'em ;
it's well that you had some one to choose
for you."
Kitty made no reply, savb, by a rogish
smile and which was quickly communica
ted to the countenances of those present,
who were acquainted with the secret, as
well as good result of "KrrTY's RII8E."
The Wife.
Here is the best tribute to woman we
ever read :
Only let a woman be sure she is precious
to her husband, not useful, not:valuable,
not conveniently simple, but lovely and
belovee; let her feel that her cares and
love an.. noticed, appreciated and returned;
let her opinion be asked, her approval
sought, and her jugdmeut respected in
matters of which she is cognizant; in short,
let her be beloved, honored-and cherish.
ed in the: fulfilment of the marriage cove•
nant, and she will be to her children and
society a well-spring of happiness. She
will bear pain, and toil and anxiety, for
her husbadd's love is a tower and fortress.
Shielded and sheltered therein, adversity
will have lost its sting, She may suffer,
but sympathy will dull the edge of sor
row. A house with love in it; and by love
I mean love expressed in words and deeds,
for have not one spark of faith in love
that never crops out; it is to a house as a
person to a machine—one is life, the other
mechanism; the unloved woman may have
bread just as light, a house just as tidy
as the other, but the latter has a spring
of beauty about her, a joyousness, a pene
trating and pervading brightness to which
the former is an entire stranger. The
deep happiness of her heart shines out in
her face. She gleams over. It is airy,
graceful, and warm-welcoming with her
presence; she is full • of devices and plots
aud sweet s u rprises for husband and family.
She has never done with the romance and
poetry of life. She herself is a lyric poem
setting herself to all pure and gracious
melodies. Humble household ways and
duties hive for her a golden significance.
The prize makes her calling high, and the
end sanctities the means.
"Love is Heaven, and Heaven is love,"
THE ORGIN OF "HAIL COLUMBIA."-
In the "Recollections of Washington,"
just published, occurs the following anec•
dote :
The song of "Hail Columbia," adapted
in measure to the "President's March,"
was written by James Hopkinson, of Phil
adelphia, in 1798. At that time war
with France was expected, and a patriotic
feeling pervaded the community. Mr.
Fox, a young singer and actor, called up
• on Hopkinson one morning and said, "To
morrow evening is appointed foil my ben
efit at the theatre. Not a single box has
been taken, and I fear there will be a thin
house. If you will write me some patri
otic verses to the tune of the 'President's
March" I feel sure of a full house. Sev
eral about the theatre have attempted it,
but they have come to the conclusion that
it cannot be done ; yet you may succeed."
Mr. Hopkinson retired to his study, wrote
the first verse and chorus, and submitted
them to Mr. Fox, who sung them to a
harpsichord accompaniment. The tune
and the words harmonized. The song was
soon finished, and that evening the young
actor received it. The next morning the
placards announced that Mr. Fox, would
give .a new patriotid song The house was
crowded—the song was sung—the audi
ence uelighted. Eeght times it was cal
led for and repeated, and sung the ninth
time, the whole audience stood up and
joined in the chorus. Night after night
"Hall Columbia' s was applauded in the
theatre, and in a few days was the univer
sal song of the boys in the street. Such
was the origin of our national song" Hail
Columbia."
Economy is said to be carried to such
an extent in a town in Michigan that
the paper mills have been compelled to
suspend operations for want of rags.
Matrimonial: It is no good uow-am.lays
for a man to offer his hand if there's noth
ing in it.
Thoughts for Saturday Night.
Adversity often leads to prosperity.
Employment is Nature's physician, and
is essential to human happiness..
Account him thy real friend who desires
thy good, rather than thy good will.
Whoever makes the truth appear un
pleasant, commits high treason against
virtue.
He who reforms himself has done more
towards reforming the public than a crowd
of noisy, impotent patriots.
Sorrow comes soon enough without de
spondency ; it does a man no good to car
ry a lightning rod to attract trouble.
Small means often accomplish great
things. Each of us may do something
to others, and true sympathy and loving
ministry are never lost.
No doctrine is good for 'anything - that
does not leave behind it an ethereal fur
row ready for the planting of seed which
shall bear abundant harvest.
There never did and never will exist
anything permanently noble and excel
lent in a character in which was a stran
ger to the exercise of resolute self denial.
• There is much more to be said in favor
of most men and creatures then we gener
ally think. The trouble is that we care
too little about finding out the good
We i suitn_o_tbctpaiolle_mow_erer--- -
And to gather the ripe, gold ears,
Until we have first been sowers
And watered the ground with tears.
If you hate yours enemies you will con
tract such a vicious habit of mind as by
degrees will break out npon those who
are your friends or those who are indiffer
ent-to-you.
Look not mournfully into the past. It
comes not back again. Wisely improve
the present. It is thine. Go forth to
meet the shadowy future without fear,
and with a manly heart.
It is not what people read, but what
they remember, that makes them learned.
It is not what they profess, but what
they practie, that makes them righteous.
"Be ye also righteous."
It is perhaps well for us that we do not
count up in early life the number of steps
many of them weary ones, we shall have
to take in treading the long road that
reaches from the cradle to the grave.
The world is a lookingllass, and gives
back every man, the reflection of his face.
Frown ac it, and it will turn and look
sourly upon you ;, laugh at it and with it,
and it is a jolly, kind ccmpanion.
Each change in your inward experience
or eternal condition is a new trust by
which to try your faith and love, and will
be a help toward perfecting your soul, if
you receive it with love and submission.
Habits influence the character pretty
much as under current's influence a vessel,
and whether they speed us on the way of
our wishes or retard our progress their
power is not the less important because
imperceptible.
Origin of the Celebrated Passage.
One of the debates in Congress, which
suddenly called Daniel Webster to his
feet, he made a brief but quite eloquent
speech, apparently without any opportun
ity for previous preparation. In the
course of his remarks, he threw out the
following sentence, which has ever since
been admired as one of the most harmo
nious and expressive in the English lan
guage. He was speaking of our military
conflict with Great Britain: `'Our fath
ers raised their flag against a power to
which, for purposes of foreign conquest
and subjugation, Rome, in the height of
her glory, is not to be compared—a power
which has dotted over the surface of the
whole globe with her possessions and mili
tary posts ; whose morning drum beat,
following the sun in its course and keeping
pace with the hours, circles the earth with
one continuous and unbroken strain of
the martial airs of England." As he sat
down, one of the Senators congratulated
him upon his speech, and, alluding to the
above passage said to him it was inconceiv
able how Mr. Webster, in a speech so
manifestly unpremeditated, could have
formed so perfect and so beautiful a sen
tence, which,' with hours of study, he
could not improve. Mr. Webster repli
ed that it was not extemporaneous; that in
his Summer vacation he had visited Que
bec, and whilst standing upon the massive
and almost imprognable citadel there,
looking out upon the wondrous scene of
national grandeur and of natnre's loveli
ness spread before him, the idea occurred
to his mind. He immediately took his
seat upon a gun,. and with a pencil and
paper,sketched the thought in the most
appropriate language he could at the mo
ment command. Upon arriving at his
hotel he sat down at his leisure, and wrote
it and rewrote it with many iriterlineations
and erasures, until he had moulded it into
the form of words which satisfied him.
He then laid it aside in his retentive mem
ory, to be used when the occasion should
offer.
It is a singular but not less true remark
in a late work, that Jefferson was , born
just eight years after his predecessor Ad
ams; Madison eight years after Jefferson;
Monroe eight years after Madison ; and
John Quincy Adams eight years after
Monroe. Another curious fact to be ob
served is,. that Adams was just sixty-six
years old when he retired ; Jefferson was
silty-sik ; Madison was sixty-six Monroe
was sixty-six ; John Quincy Adams, had
he been elected to a second term, would
have been sixty-six. Adams, Jefferson
and Monroe all died on the 4th of July.
Where the ELM eau% come, the doctor
must.
MOO PER YEAR
NUMBER 28.
Wit and nntor.•
When a man's nose becomes a little
reddish, it ought to be pulled like other_
reddishes.
An advertisement for a district school
teacher in- New- Hamsphire concludes is
way : "N. B.—No man need apply
who wears a shawl."
"I have lost flesh," said a toper to his
companion. "No great loss," replied the
other, "since you have made it np iu spir
its."
retiring man says nobody ever paid
him much attention until he broke out of
jail, and then he was much sought af-
ter.
An epicurean has discovered that the
pleasantest way to take cod liver oil is to
fatten pigeons with it and them eat the
pigeons.
—A_ministar Navin.
sermon, as •is custom was, some hours at:.
ter asked a gentleman his opinion of it?
He replied that "'Twos very good, but
it spoiled a dinner, worth two of it.
A Rochester editor went hunting the
other day for the first time in twenty
years, and he was lucky enough to bring
down an old farmer by a shot in the leg.
The distance was silt -six 'ards.
An undecided fellow courted a lady for
twenty-eight years, and then married her.
She turprd out a perfect virago, but died
in two years; after the wedJing. "Now,"
said he, in a self congratulating tone, "see
what I have escaped by a . long court
ship."
Oilural gentleman 4.
A standing over a
egister in one of our stores attracted gen
eral attention to himself by observing to
his wife, "Mariar, I guess I'm going to
have a fever, I feel such hot streaks a run
nin'-up my legs."
'"a, what is the interest of a kiss?"
asked sweet sixteen of her sire. "Why,
really, I don't know. Why doyou ask!"
"Because John, my cousin, borrowed n;
kiss last night frSin me, andsaid he'd pay
me back some of these nights, with inter
est.".
A Fairfield Vermont mother learned
of her daughter's contemplated elopement
and on the night appointed for the flight
put some laudanum in the girl's tea. The
latter fell asleep and did not wake up till
morning, and in the meantime Rome got
tired of waiting and went home disgusted.
He goes with another girl now.
A gentleman of transatlantic "rai-ing"
had mentioned the exceedingly likely
fact that he had seen as many as fifty
snakes up a tree at one time. An Eng
lishman, however, ventured to evince a
decided incredulity. "Waal, stranger,"
said the Yankee, •'there were forty."
"Forty I But that is as wonderful as fifty,"
exclaimed the other. "Waal, stranger,"
was the rejoinder, "you seem tarnation
hard to please. We'll say twenty—there!
And I'm darned if I don't fight afore I
take off another snake."
"Julius, is yo better dis mornin'?'
"No' I was better yistiday, but got over
it." .:Am der no hopes den ob your discov
ry?" "Discovery of what?" •"Your dis
covery from der couvalesents dat fetched
you oh your back," "Dat depends alto
geder, Mr. Snow, on de prognostification
dat amplify de disease: if dey should ter
minate fataily de doctor thinks Julius is
a gone nigger; should dey not terminate
fatally, he hopes dis colored individual
won't die till unoder time."
. A schoolboy being requested to write a
composition on the subject of" Pins," pro
duced the following : "Pins are very use•
ful. They have saved the lives of a great
many men, woman and children—in fact
whole families." "1-row so ?" asked the
puzzled teacher; and the boy replied,
"Why, by not swallowing them." This
matches the story of the other boy who
defined salt as "the stuff that makes pota
toes caste bad when you don't put any
on."
AN INFIDEL AGREEING WITH PAUL. -7-
An admirable replywas once made by
careful reader of the Bible to an infidel,
who attacked him with such expressions
as these :
"That the blood of Christ can wash a
way sin is foolishess; I don't understand
or believe it."
The Bible student remarked, "You awl
Paul agree exactly."
The infidel replied with surprise; "How
is this that Paul and I agree exactly ?-'
Said the student, "Turn to the first
chapter of Corinthians and read the eigh
teenth verse."
The infidel read, "Fcr the preaching of
the cross is to them that perish, tbolisties,;
but unto us which are saved, it is the pow
er of 'God,"
The infidel hung his head, and ever at
ter studied the Bible, and soon believed it
tojm God's power of salvation. •
BAD BREAMS.—Bad dreams are frc
quently caused by a tight neck baud,whic4
prevents the blood when it has reached
the brain from flowing freely back again.
Compression of any part ofthe body should
be avoided at all times, but especially du
ring sleep. The lighter the bed elothva
are the morn refreshing and sweet
repose. For this season, emufortera unto 3
of delaines or other thin woolen inateri.d
and stuffed with wool are far pieferw
those made of cotton, and warmer even,
than blankets, eitice the fibers of weul ;Ara
wider ap . a'rt and the z-aina weight izo•
farther m retaining dm warmth of ti,o
body - ,
reached a ver