BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 26.
TUE WAYNESBORO' VILLAGE RECORE,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
By W. BLAIR.
TEEMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
ADVERTISEMENTS—One Square (10
lines) three insertions, $1,50; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
' • five Cents per Square. A liberal
discount made to yearly adver
tisers.
LOCLlA—Bnsiness Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subseauent insertions
Proftssional ollzards.
J. B. AMBERSON. M. D..
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
WAYNESBORO', PA.
Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug
ore." Dane 29—tf.
EUL 10 ,NJ MfJ., Rffti v
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Offers his professional services to the pub
lic. Office in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. ' april 24—tf
DR. BENJ. FRANTZ,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near
the-Bowden House. Night calls should be
made at his residence on Main Street a-d
-oimng t e es ern - School nous:.
July 20-tf
ISAAC N. SNIVELY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
WAYNESBORO' PA.
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
he Bowden House. Nov 2—tf.
JOSEPH DOITGI.u3S
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
WAYNESBORO', PA.
Practices in the several Couits of Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Real Estate leved and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
UR, C til... STRAGRAEIIiv
(FORMERLY Or MERCERSBURG, PA.,)
OFFERS his Professional services to the
citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersburg, where he bat,
been prominently engaged for a number of
years in the practice of his profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
at the residence of George Besore, Esq., .1
is
Father-in-law, where he can be fount' at al
times when not professionally engaged.
July 20, 1871.4 f.
. _
ar. H. FORNEY & CO.
Prcduca Calarcissign merchants
No. 77 NORTH STREET,
BALTIMORE, MD.
Pay particular attention to the sale of
Flour, Grain, Seeds, &c.
Liberal advances made on consignments.
may 29-tf
PERSONS wanting Spring -tooth Hors?.
Rakes can be supplied with a first-class
article by calling on the subscriber. lie
continues to repair all kinds of machinery
at bilolt. antiCealld upon reasonable terms.
The Metcalf excel,) r r",t, Boring and
Wood bowing EcNihines always on hand.
JOIIN L. METCALF,
Feb Quincy, Pa.
IMIALIMERY Milt I',
MRS. C. L. HOLLINBERGER now loca-
IVlted at 37 Pearl Street, Baltimore, Md.,
has opened a new Stock of the best and
most fashionable Millinery Goods, Orders
from the country promptly filled at prices
which will give entire satisfaction.
°et 30—tf
J. H. WELSH
'WITH
IV. V. LIPPINCOTT & CO,
WUOLESALE DEALERS IN
Eats, Caps, Furs and Straw Goods,
No. 531 Market Street, Philadelphia, Pa..
april 3-tf
BARBERING! BARBERING I
9 , HE subscriber having rec-ntiv re-paint
ed and papered and added new furni
ture to his shop, announces to his custom
ers and the public that he will leave noth
ing undone to give satisfaction and make
comfortable all who may be pleased to fa
vor him with their patronage. Shaving.
Schampooning, Ilair-cutting, etc. promptly
attended to. A lung experience in the bar
bering businc: , s enables him to promise sat
isfaction in ail cases. W. A. PRICE.
sept IS-tf
THE BOWDEN HOUSE
MAIN STREET,
WAYNESBORO', PENN'A.
METE subscriber having leased this well
known Hitel property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre
pared to accommodate the traveling public
and others who' may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times he in attendance.
May 23-tf SAM% P. sToNE,II.
COACI4I9IAKIIG.
PERSONS in want of vehicles of any de
l.. scription, new or second-handed, can be
supplied at the old "Waynesboro' Coach
Factory" on Church street. The subscrib
er cordially invites those desiring anything
in his line to call and examine his stock
and learn his prices, which he feels warran
ted in saying will compare favorably with
that of any other establishment in the coun
ty.
REPAIRING of all kinds will receive prompt
alien lion. .
Thankful to the public for past patronage
he solicits a continuation of the same in the
future. JACOB ADAMS.
april 10-tf
,Ys , titt# VortiT.
WORN AND WAIT.
A husbandman, who many years
Had plowed his fields and sown in tears,
Grew weary with his doubts and fears.
"I toil in vain 1 These rocks and sands
Will yield no harvcst in my hands; •
The best seeds rot in barren lands.
"My drooping vine is withering;
No promised grapes its blossoms bring;
No birds among its branches sing.
"My flock is dying on the plain,
The heavens are brass—theyryield no rain;
The earth is iron—l toil in vain l"
While yet he spice, a breath had stirred
His drooping vine, like wing of bird,
And from its leaves a voice he heard :
"The germs and fruits of life must be
Forever hid in mystery ;
Yet none can toil in vain for me.
"A mightier hand, more skilled than mine
- Must - hang the-elusters on a vine,
- A - nd - make-the-fields and,harvests_shine—
"Men can but work ; God can create ;
But they who work, and watch, and wait,
Have their reward, though it come late.
Look up to heaven ! behold and hear
The clouds and thunderings in thy ear—
And answer to thy doubts and fears."
He looked, and lo! a cloud draped car,
With trailing smoke and dame afar,
Was rushing from a distant star.
And every thirsty flock and plain,
Was raising up to meet the rain
That comes to clothe the fields with grain
And on the clouds he saw again
The covenant of God with men,
Re-written with his rainbow pen :
"Seed time and harvest shall not fail.
And though the gates of hell assail,
My truth and promises shall prevail.
sjlistellatteous geading.
A QUEER ELOPEMENT.
Percy Van Rapp, by his own saying,
was of the purest blood of the Knicker
bockers. It was like listening to one of
the Mosasac genealogies to hear him trace
back his lineage to old Rip Van Rapp,
one of the vertiable old Rips who built
the town of New Amsterdam of bricks
bro't from Holland, before it was known
that bricks could be made of American
clay, or cheese from any but Dutch
milk.
Percy was spending the season at a
fashionable watering place, and was the
heaviest swell there ; unless we accept
Adrian Dodge, a young gentleman of
great reputed wealth, and more than av
erage pretontion.
Great rivalry existed between these two.
Which could wear the sleekest hat, and
dance in pumps of the finest kid, was the
daily problem of: their lives—and they
put their whole minds to it till Kate
Wily came and gave their' something else
to think of:
Rate was a beauty and rich. This was
her first season, and she at once became
the centre of attraction. Foremost a
mong her admirers were Percy Van Rapp
and Adrian Dodge whom this fresh rival
ry might any day have personally em
broiled had either known how great a
coward the other was.
The truth is, in this matter, both were
deeply in earnest. Mr. Van Rapp's- for
tunes were little short of desperate ; and
Mr. Dodge's notwithstanding reports—
chiefly of his owti circulation—were in
condition not much better. Kate's case
would be a new lease of dissipated life to
whichever of them could manage to get
it.
Kate received their advances coolly at
first, but after a time they seemed to a
muse her. What impressions they final
ly made we must let our story tell for it
self.
Neither suitor bad room to boast over
the other. If Kate had any choice be
tween them, she kept it to herself. There
were times when each would have count
ed the day his own had he not felt that
his rival had equal grounds for confi
dence.
It was impossible. that things should
long continue so. Percy Van Rapp de
termined to know his fate at once. Ac
cordingly he seized his first opportunity
of laying bare his heart to Kate, only
suppressing mention of a few private mo
tives which lay at the bottom of it.
When Kate blushed and stammered
something that didn't sound like No,
Percy could have stood on his head for
joy.
'But my aunt," said Kate—she was in
the care of a maiden aunt, who had a
sharb eye in her head—"my aunt, I fear,
will never consent."
"Aunts have no authority to com
mand the affection," was the lover's re
ply.
"True " she murmured.
"Then fly with me," he exclaimed, "we
will find some spot where, we can be hap-
PY
Kate paused, as if irresolute.
"My aunt," she said, "already suspects.
A TA.MITAT . NEWSPAX O ERDEVOTtD TO LITERATCRE,tOOAi.AND GEMUM NEWS. ETC.
'W4 'ski : alt Ikr tak _0 _II:
I can trust the coachman however. Dis.
guised in mail attire,"—she blushed pret
tily. can leave the - T:hotel unobserved,
and John will be in readiness to take me
in the carriage to a rendezvous, agreed
upon. Meet me there, and in half an
hour we can reach the house of a neig•
boring clergyman, an old acquaintance of
my father, whose aid we can invoke, and
—and what a little plotter I am !"
"You're an angel 1" cried Percy !".
"But you_ must promise one thing,"
said Kate.
"Anything darling !"
"Not to speak a word when wa meet,
nor until wer'e married—everything here•
abouts has ears."
"I promise," he said solemnly.
The time and plaee were fixed, and Per
cy Van Rapp rose to take his leave. He
already beard Kate's dollars jingling in
his pocket.
"One thing more," said Kate.
Percy bowed obsequiously.
"It will be the night of the fancy ball.
Let us both wear masks. If we are-see'
it will excite no remark, and we'll thus•
escape recognition."
"Capital," he exclaimed pressing her
hand at parting.
• At the hour and place appointed Percy
was in waiting, closely masked, and peer
ing thiough the night with the watchful
impatience of an anxious lover.
The sound of wheels was heard present
ly, and in a few moments a carriage stop
ped on the spot agreed on. The driver
alighted and opened the door. Percy en
tered without s eaking, and the coach
man, who ha , evi, ent y receive, ins ruc
tions, resumed his place and drove off
iapidl).
In the darkness, Percy could barely dis
tinguish the outlines of a figure with a
masked face. He could hardly refrain
from clasping it in his arms, and giving,
vent to a torrent of tender eloquence; but
remembering his promise, he restrained
himself. His capacity to do so was at the
point of giving out, when in deep bass, he
heard the words :
"Dearest Kate !"
"Dearest thunder 1" he shouted, who
the mischief are you ?"
"And who the fiend areyou?" exclaim
ed the other.
"Adrian Dodge! by all that's amaz
ing !" yelled Percy.
"Percy Van Rapp ! by all that's infer
nal !". shrieked Adrian.
"Villain ! you shall pay for this !" roar
ed Percy, springing on his rival with the
ferocity of a tiger.
Cowards fight desperately when corner
ed, and here both were. The uproar a
larmed the coachman, who stopped and
called a policeman. The combatants were
dragged out and summarily marched off.
Next. morning they were discharged, and
by that time the truth having come out,
.they took the next train for the city, thus
relieved Kate of a pair of unwelcome sui
tors, whose selfish designs her aunt's eyes
had been quick to penetrate, and for whom
she herself felt nothing but contempt.
The way in which the two lovers came
to find themselves together was this : Be
fore the interview between Kate and Percy
at which the elopement was planned, Kate
had received a call, the same morning.
from Adri•un Dodge, who; being interrup
ted in the'ruidst of a tender declaration
by an inopportune visitor, made an ap
pointment to return in the afternoon.—
Meanwhile Perey had come and laid bare
his heart, as we have seen, when it occur
red to Kate to rid herself of the two ad
venturers by a harmless strategy. How
she enticed Percy into the trap we have
already shown. In. the afternoon, when
Adrian returned, he was lured into a sim
ilar snare—the only difference being that
he was to bring a carriage and find Kate
in waiting, the conditions as to silence
and disguises being the same.
Before the year was.out Kate was mar
ried . to one who had known and, loved
her, and whom she had known and loved
from childhood ; and the happy couple
often laugh over the queer elopement,
whose story we have attempted to tell.
How MONKEYS ARE CAVORT:7-MM
keys are such cunning creatures one would
suppose them much more difficult to catch
than any wild animal. Pitfalls will take
a lion, and the famished monarch of the
desert will, after a few days starvation,
dart into a cage containing food, and thus
be secured. But how are the monkeys
caught? The ape family resembles man.
Their love of liquor. In Darfour and
Sabaar the natives Make fermented beer,
of which• the monkeys are very fond.—
Aware of this the natives go to the parts
of the forest frequented by the monkeys,
and set on the ground calabashes full of
the enticing liquor. As soon as the mon
key sees and tastes it, he utters cries of
joy that soon attracts his comradei. Then
an orgie begins, and in a short time the
beasts show all degrees of intoxication.•
Then the negroes appear. The drinkers
are too far gone to distrust them for larger
species of their own genus. The negroes
take them up, and they immediately begin
to weep and cover them with kisses.—
When a negro takes one by the hand to
lead him off; the nearest monkey will cling
to the one who thus finds a support, and
endeavors to get off also. Another will
grasp at him, and so on, until the negro
leads a staggering line of ten or a dozen
monkeys. When finally brought to the
village they are securely caged, and grad
ually sober down, but for' two or three
days a gradually diminishing supply of
liquor is given them, so as to reconcile
them by degrees to their state of captivity.
The golden moments in the stream of
life rush past us, and we see nothing but
sand ; the angless come to visit us, and
we only know them when they are
gone.
Pay the Printer his dues.
A MI'S 10BEVIE.
--EY KATE. PUTNAM 08GOOD.
The mulberry flower came drooping down
Sweet o'er the two that stood together,
Parting there by the gateway brown,
Still and sad in the soft May weather.
lie held her close for a last long kiss :
"I wait for you, dear," she said, "forever !
No later hour shall be false to this ; ,
For mine is a love that can alter never!"
The mulberry flowers drop down once more
Sweet o'er the two that stand together
But not the two that stood before,
Parting sad in soft May weather! ,
For the earth has changed its bloom again
And the love has changed that could al
ter never,
13ut a year her, come and gone since-then---
And that is the length* of a girl's forever.
Helping a Boy.
he Danbury News tells a good story
of a New York party. named Reynolds.
who bad been spending the summer at
Danbury, who, during the apple season,
was stroling for his health, when he ob
served a boy trying to pull a kite from an
apple tree where it had logded.
As Mr. Reynolds came up the string
broke, leaving the kite up there. With
the natural promptings of a humane heart
the gentlemen gave his coat in charge of
-the-noyand-crawling-over-thelence,-was
soon up the tree. The boy felt pretty
bad about-the accident-to-his-kite, but on
taking-a--seeoncl—look-at—the-toat, , _whic
was almost new, he dried his tears and
scampered off with it unperceived by Rey
nolds, who was trying to take an obstm•
ate twig from the back of his neck. Af
ter considerable difficulty he reached the
kite, and was stretching forth his hand to
take it when the limb he was on snapped
suddenly in two, and he fell some six feet,
splitting one of his pantaloon legs half
way up, and running a twig into his nose
with such violence as to make that organ
bleed. Fortunately he was saved from
further mishaps by catching on a strong.
er limb.
_
He stopped then to'feel of his nose and
meditate on the accident, when a rough
voice from below demanded what he was
doing there, and looking down he saw a
shirt-sleeved, bald-headed man with a
pitchfork in his hand and fire in his eye.
Mr. Reynolds explained about the kite.
"That won't do," said the man. "I've
had too many apples hooked from that
'ere tree, and now that I've got the thief,
I intend to make him dance.' And the
man looked ferociously at Reynolds' fa
cilities for dancing. •
The unhappy Reynolds referred to the
boy for endorsement of his story.
"What boy ?" asked the owner of the
orchard. "I don't - see no boy. There
aint no boy here.
Reynolds looked out in the road, but
there was no boy in sight. He shouted
"Bub !" two or three times, but there was
no response. The color deserted his face
and a look of mingled astonishment and
horror spread over his features.
"This is very extraordinary," he said.
"Very," coincided the farmer, with
great dryness.
"That boy has stolen my coat, and I
must pursue him and recover it," said.
Reynolds, suddenly becbming frantic over
his loss and preparing to descend.
"Oh, come down and catch him," said
the farmer with biting sarcasm, chewing
his tongne to show how calm he was, and
placing the fork in such a way as to take
in the most valuable portions of Mr. Rey
nolds' body.
That gentlemen saw the preparations
in time to stop. "Why, you wouldn't run
that fork into me, you old idiot ?"
"Who are you calling an old idiot,
you miserable whipper snapper ?" shouted
the old chap, as he insanely danced a
round the foot of the tree, and glared
fiercely at his victim. "Come here and
rob me, you villain, will you, and then
stand up in my own tree and blaspheme
me? Run the fork into you, will I ? Yes,
I'd run it into two hundred of ye."
Mr. Reynoldswas shocked. "What do
you want me to do ?" he said, despairing
of reasoning with the owner of the or
chard.
"I want you to pay me five dollars, and
get out of this orc hard as fast as your ras
cally legs can take you."
Mr. Reynolds hesitated. It was bad e
nough to lose a coat and ruin his pants
to help an evil boy out of trouble, with
out being bombarded with epithets, and
chargtd five dollars for the performance.
He thought he would jump down on the
old man and crush him, but he looked at
the fork and repented of the design: Then
he drew out a - five dollar bill and dropped
it to his enemy, and humilitatingly slid
down the tree, reaching his feet just in
time to avoid a kick the irate man aimed
at him. He was helped out of the or
chard with the fork handle, and immedi
ately started for the hotel, d which he
afterwards reached in a condition of ner
vous prostration that at first threatened
to result seriously.
An active search has .been made for
the boy, but neither he nor the coat has
been discovered.
HoPE.—A strong mind always hopes,
because it knows the mutability of human
affairs, and how slight a circumstance
may change the whole course of events.
Such a spirit, too, rests upon itself, it is
not confined to particular objects, and if
.at last, all should be lost, it has saved
itself its own integrity and worth. Hope
awakens courage, while despondency is
the last of all evils, it is the abandonment
of good, the giving up of the battle of life
with dead nothingness. He who can im•
plant courage in the human soul, is its
best physician.
The Boy who Conquered.
Two or three years ago a lad who was
left without parents, of good natural abil
ities, went to New York, alone and friend
less, to get a situation in a store as an er
rand boy, or otherwise, till he could com
mand a higher position; but this boy has
been in bad company, and acquired the.
habit of calling for his bitters occasional
ly, because he thought it looked manly.—
He smoked cigars also. He had a pretty
good education, and on looking over the
papers he noticed that a merchant on
Pearl street. wanted a lad or his age, and
he called and made his business known.
"Walk into my office, my lad," said the
merchant, "I will attend to you soon."
When he had waited on his customers
be took a seat near the lad, and espied a
cigar in his hat. This was enough.
1134--boy--"-said-he i vant-a-smart,
honest, and faithful lad, but I see you
smoke cigars, and in-my-experience of-ma
ny years, I have ever found cigar smok
ing m lads to be connected with various
other evil habits ; and if I am not mista
en your breath is an evidence that you
are not an exception. You can leave;
you will not suit me,"
John—for this was his name—held
down his head and left the store; and as
he walked along the street, a stranger and
friendless, the counsel of his poor mother
came forcibly to his mind, who, upon her
death bed, called him to her side, and
placing her emaciated hand upon hiS
- head, said, "Johnny; dear boy, - I am go
ing to leave yon ; you well know what
disgrace - and • misery your father brought
, , ' t before-his-deatid-l-wmit-you
to promise me before I iiie that you will
not taste one drop of the accursed poison
that killed your father. Promise me this
and be a good boy, Johnny, and I shall
die in peace."
The scalding tears trickled down John
ny's cheeks,' and he promised ever to re
member the dying words of his mother,
and never to drink spiritous liquors; but
he soon forgot his promise, and when he
received the rebuke from the mechuat he
remembeeed what his mother had said,
and what he had promised her, and lie cri
ed aloud, and the people gazed at him as
he passed along, and boys railed at him.
He went to his lodging, and throwing Cm
self on the bed, gave vent to his feelings
in distressed sobs that were heard, all ov
er the house.
But Johnny had moral courage. He
had energy and determination, and ere
an hour had passed he made up his mind
never to touch another. drop of liquor nor
smoke another cigar so long as he lived.
He went straight back to the merchant,
and said—
"Sir, you very properly sent me away
this morning for habits that I have been
guilty, of; but, sir, I have. neither father
or mother, and though I have occasional
lg failed to follow the good advice of my
poor mother on her death bed, nor done
as I promised I would do, yet I have now
made a solemn vow never to drink anoth
er drop of liquor, nor smoke another ci
gar, and if you, sir, will try me it is all I
ask."
The merchant was struck by the decis
ion and energy of the boy;' and at once
employed him. At the expiration of five
years this lad was a partner in the busi
ness, and is now worth ten thousand dol
lars. He thus faithfully kept his pledge
to which be owes his elevation.
Boys, think of this circumstance as you
enter upon the duties of life.
CuT THIS Our.—Every person should
understand how to treat a flesh wound,
because one is liable to be placed in cir
cumstances, away from surgical and veter
inary aid, where he may save his own life,
the life of a friend or of a beast, simply
by the exercise of a little common sense.
In the first pia( e, close the lips of the
wound with the hand, and hold them
firmly together to check the flow of blood
until several stitches can be taken and a
bandage applied. Then bathe the wound
for a long time in cold water. "Should
it be painful," a correspondent says, "take
a panful of burning coals and sprinkle
upon them common brown sugar, and
hold the wounded part in the smoke. In
a few minutes the pain will be allayed,
and recovery proceeds rapidly. In my
case a rusty nail had made a bad wound
•in my foot. The pain and nervous irrita
tion were severe. This was all removed
by holding it in smoke for fifteen minutes,
and I was able to resume my reading in
comfort. We have often recommended
it to others, with like result. Last week
one of my men had a finger-nail torn out
by a pair of ice-tonges. It became very
painful, as was to have been expeoted.
Held in sugar smoke for twenty minutes,
the pain ceased and promised speedy re
covery."
COMPLETION
. 01" Tip HOOSAC TM*.
—This great engineering work—a rail
road tunnel for a distance of five miles
through the solid rocky heart of a granite
mountain, is at last so far completed -to
let daylight shine through. On Thanks
giving Day the last remaining piece of
rock which separated the two working
parties in the western shaft were removed,
leaving a clear passage from end to end,
and completing a direct way from Boston
to the west. There has been about twen
ty years work upon this enterprise, and
the actual cost is very nearly ten million
dollars. A hundred and thirty-six men
have been killed by casualties in the
course of the construction of the tunnel.
Though the hole is made through the
mountain, its preparation for trains will
require some months' more labor, and it
will probaLly be nearly a year before the
line can be fairly put in operation for
through business..
Young ,people who lisp are requested
to say ".Mis Myth Smith.".
Sayers and the Drayman.
A noted divine in the course of some
remarks at a meeting of a huniane so ciety
in Scotland relates an anecedote of this
well known• pugilist, which is as follows:
"Some few years ago, as I was walking
down a street in London. I saw a brewer's
drayman cruelly ill treating a horse which
was for the time under his control. The
poor creature, evidently possessed of great
power, 'but not understanding quite what
the man meant, did not do exactly what
he wished, whereupon the biewer's dray
man treated the animal in a way which
excited the indignation of all the lookers
on, of whom I was one. However, no one
seemed disposed to come into active col
lision with the man, a strong bulky fellow;
and all that was done was to shout out,
'Shame! shame!' But just at the time a
• tle-gig-drove-up,-in-which-were-seate.
two persons, the driver being a smallish
man-with:a-white hat-and-coat:lie Stop
ped his vehicle, and joined in the remon
stances of the crowd, but with no effect;
the brewer's drayman saying, with a surly
growl, 'lf you come down, I'll serve you
in the same way. No sooner was this
said than the little man handed his white
hat and reins to the other person in the
gig, and, alighting on the street, in the
course of a very few minutes inflicted such
punishment on the brewer's nravman as
gave joy to the hearts of all the humane
bystanders. His anger being satisfied, to
the great mortification of the drayman, he
got' up into his gig, and drove - away ail
bystanders cheering-himrand-shout
iug, 'Bravo, Tom! bravo!" I turned to
one otrcriders, and asked 'Who
is Tom?' —'Why, don't you know?' said
he, 'that's Tom Sayers". Well, I must
confess, though I had heard of his doings
a few months before, I took off my hat
and shouted, 'Bravo Tom !" to the retreat
ing hero, with the best of them:
VANDERBILT ON REuctos.—Burleigh
in the Boston Journal tells the following
story :
"While I am on this matter I will re
late a little incident told me by a steam
boat captain.
He said : 'l'm an elder in the Presbyter
jail church. I made a profession of reli
gion when young. Vanderbilt employed
me to run one of his boats. It was con
sidered a great thing for a person of my
age to have such a position. I was proud
of it and tried to do my best. One Sat
urday the agent came to me and said :
"You must fix up your boat to-day, for
to-morrow we are going to send you up
the North River on an excursion. , "
I thought the mater over. I was a
young man, and did not wish to lose my
position, yet I could not run the boat on
Sunday. I said so to the agent in a let
ter, tendered my resignation, and prepar
ed to ga home. I met the Commodore on
the Battery. Be said :
"Come down and dine with me to-mor
row, my wife wants to see you."
"I cannot," was the reply, "for I must
go home. I have got through OD your
line."
"What does this mean . ?" said:the Com
modore.
I told him the story.
"That fellow is a fool. We have got
men enough to run that boat whose prin
ciples won't be hurt. You go about your
business. If anybody interferes with your
religion, send there to me.'
TWEED IN PRISON.—To record the fact
that William M. Tweed, lately know as
the master of the city of New York, Pres.
ident of tht Department of Public Works.
Manager of its Politics. Senator of the
State, a pampered, pompous millionaire,
whose stables are palaces adorned with
costly paintings, and whose houses are
furnished beyond the abode - of kings :to
announce that this man is a convicted
thief, imprisoned among the vilest of men
for twelve years, is to record one of the
most astounding and gratifying facts that
we ever put upon paper. We rejoice in
h as a substantial triumph of justice ; an
indication that in the midst of abounding
corruption, there is yet virtue to maintain
the right, to punish scoundrels in high
places, and that even jurors may yet be
found who are faithful to their oaths and
their country.—New York Observer.
EntoßTALrry.—Turn whitheraiever
we will, we find the belief in immortality.
In every nation ever known, in every race
that has ever lived, in every age of this
changing world, we find it. • Every Jan.
guage known to man, as now or heretofore
spoken among the babblers of the earth,
is constructed in accordance with it. In
all ages, men in dying have looked on.
death as simply the soul's putting of its
tabernacle. There are exceptions, but they
are so few that they hardly attract our
attention, and do not destroy the practicle
accuracy of our statement. The belief
in immortality is one of the universal
convictions of the race.
CURE FOR A FELow.—As soon as dis
covered, take some spirits of turpentine
in a cup,. dip the finger in it, and then
hold the hand near a hot fire till dry;
then dip it in again and repeat for fifteen
minutes, or until the pain ceases. The
nest day, with a sharp knife, pare off the
thick skin and you, will find something
lake a honeycomb filled with clear water;
open the cells and the felon is gone. If
the felon is too far advanced for turpentine,
oil of origanum, treated in the same way,
will cure. If too far advanced for either
to cure, the felon will still be beneftld,
or it will be less painful. Never draw
it.
"Bidy, darlint, wud yeez like a shanty,
a cow, a pig, wid me, and a few childers
in the bargain ?" "Och, Padiy,"' don't
be fazing 1 It's the praist we be want
ing."
$2.00 PER YEAR.
Mit out 31rtmor.
When is an army like a tuck in a lacy
dress? When it is hemmed in.
Why is a a selfish friend like the letter
I?—Because though he is the first in
pity, he is the last in help.
Mrs. Partington will not allow Ike to
play the guitar. She says he had it once
when Le was a child, and it nearly killed
him.
A little fellow not very far from here
was recently heard to ask : 'What do
Charlie bite Emma for and her dont
?" Take care girls, when little broth
ers are about.
A woman went into an Illinois river
the_other_day,_intending_to drown herself,
but a lot of rude boys threw mud at her,
whereupon she came out in great wrath
and had them arrested, and declared she'd
"live to see them sent to the State-prison."
"Vhy ish der Broosian and der Vrench
en ii. der late var like vleae on ein hock's
pack ?"
"Roost pecause dey makes it pooty
lifely in der Rhine ; ain't it T'
Our little fellow has just learned to re•
peat the foll Owing :
•
Tobacco is a nauseous weed-;
It was the devil sowed the seed;
the pockets, soils the clothes ,
It_dram:
And ma
"Charlie," said a preacher to a little
boy, "can you tell me who made the mon
key ?"
"Oh, yes I can," said Charlie.
"Well who made it ?".
"Why," said Charlie, "it was the same
person as made you.
A preacher in a border town took up
collection one recent Sunday, and found
when his bat was returned, that there
wasn't a cent in it am glad,' said he,
turning the crown of it with his hand,
'that I have got my bat back from this
congregation.'
'A youth who was taking an airing in
the country, tried to amuse himself by
quizzing an old farmer about his bald
head, but was extinguished by the old
man, who solemnly remarked, "Young
man, when my head gets as soft as yours
I can raise hair to sell."
Always there is seed being sown silent
ly and unseen, and everywhere there come
sweet flowers without our foresight or la
bor. We reap what we sow, but Nature
has love over and above that justice, and
gives us shadow and blossom - and fruit
that spring from no planting of ours.
Just as an auctioneer was saying
.'Gone!' a few evenings since, his audience
went through the floor into the cellar, but
happily without hurting any of them. The
auctioneer, as soon as he found his legs,
remarked that the accident would enable
him to sell lower than before, and called
for a "bid" and they bid him "Good-night."
A cotemporary eays that in most cases
of fevers we have no doubt that an attack
might have been prevented and the pa
tient well in a few days without a parti
cle of medicine, by rest, partial fasting,
and free use of lemons and lemoade. The
virtue of this article in billions attacks
and incipient fevers has been tested with
the best results, and we commend its ,use
as a preventive of these diseases.
A young man who professes to have
travelled says that the only difference in
the whiskies of the principal cities of Cal. Ca
lifornia is that, after taking a drink of
Sacramento's chain lightning you imme-
diately make a short cut to the rail.
road and go to sleep on the track ; where.
as, after imbibing a little of San Francis.
co's bottled insanity, a burning desire
takes possession of you to steal a horse
and buggy. .
BEAUTIPUL.—In Wilmington, Del, a
man was detected hurrying away from a
butcher's stall with a steak, which he bad
stolen, under his coat A policeman fol•
loved him home, and peepimg, D through
the window, saw him give the steak to
some children, who devoured it raw. On
learning this, the butcher, instead of pros
ecuting, sent the starving family a large
basket of meat and a little cash to buy
woodlo cook it.
There is a Justice of the Peace in lowa,
before whom a citizen had
. prosecuted his
daughter's lover-for ejecting him from his
own parlor the Sunday evening previous,
who solemnly decided as follows: "It ap-
pears that this young feller was courtin'
the plaintiff's gal in plaintiff's parlor, and
that plaintiff intruded and was put out by
defendant. Courtin' is a necessity, and
mist not be interrupted. Therefore the
laws of lowa will hold that a parent has
no legal right in a room where courtin' is
afoot, and so the defendant is discharged
and the plaintiff must pay costs."
A gentleman who frequented a circus,
noticed a buy among the audience who was
sound asleep every time he happened to
be in. Curious to know why the urchin
should resort to such a place for somnifer
ous purposes, our friend went up one
evening and accosted him.
"My little fellow, what do you go to
sleep for?"
"I can't keep awake," rejoined the boy;
"it is a terrible bore to see them doing
the same thing-every night."
•
"But why do you come?"
"Oh, I can't help it—l must come. I
have gut a season ticket."