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VOLUME n.. 28.
THE WAYNISSEEr ~VI Lk6B RECORI
PunzintED EVERY THURSDAY Moazuso
BY. W..
• -
TEKlLS—Two.Dollars per _Annum, if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Pifty cents after the .expiration
• .of the year.
lines) three insertions, $1,50; for
each subsequent insertion,_Thir
five Cents per Square.. Aliberal
discount, made to yearly adver
tisers.
LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first initertbnigoveri
Cents for subseeOent insertions
proftsiitmal ,Olards.
J. B. AMBEILSON. id. D.,.
PHYSICLINAND SURGEON,'
WAXNEBROR9', PA. "
Office at the Vlrsynesbere' "Corner Drug
ore." ' Dane 29—tf.
BR. ANN M. IMP 'ICE,
• PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, '
Offers his professional services. o the pub,
lie. Office in his residence, on West Main
street, Waynesboro'. april 24:4
DR. BENJ. FRANTZ,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near
the Bowden House: Night calls should be•
;made at his residence onliain Street. ad
---einhig-theAVeiteraSchooLliouse
July 20-tf . . , •
ISAAC N. SNIVELY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
WAYNESBORO' PA.
Office at his residence, nearly opposit
lie Bowden' House. Nov 2—tf.
JOSEPH DOUGLAS
, ATTORNEY AT LAW.
WAYNESBORO', PA.
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
And adjacent Counties.
N. B.—heal Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected int reasonable terms.
December 10, 1571.
STRiteIUES,
(FORMERLY OF MERERRSBURG„ PA.,)
•
OFFER hisq'rofessional services to the
citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. Sraimait has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersburg, where he has
been
. prominently engaged for a number of
years in the practice of his pro&ssion.
He has opened an Office in Wayndsboro',
at the residence , ot George Besore, Esq., 't is
Father-in-law,. where he can be fount' at al
times when not professionally engaged.
July 29, 187L-tf.
3. H. FORNEY & CO.
Produce Gel utissiou Merchants
No. 77 NORTH STREET,
BALTIMORE, MD.
Pay particular, attention to the sale of
Flour, (intim, Seeds, dm.
Liberal advances made On consignments.
may 29-tf
HORSE
PERSONS , wanting Spring-tooth Horse
Rakes can be supplied' with a first-class
article by calling . on the subscriber. He
.Continues to repair all'kinds of machinery
at short noticeand upon reasonable terms.
The Metcalf excelsior Post Boring and
"Wood Sawing EeMbine.f alwars on hand
JOHN L. METCALF,
Fob 27-+ gainey, Pa.
FRANKLIN KEAGY,
ARGHATECT 14JS BUILIHRI,
CHAMBEBSBUItG, PENNA.
Designs, Plans, Elevations, Sections - and
Details of Private or Public Buildings, Bills
4:lf Quantities; Estimates ofCosts ; Drawings
a inventions for Ipplieations of Patents,
a.e. Charges moderate. may 15-tf
J. H. WELSH
WITH
W. V. LIPPINCOTT & CO,
wnotsaALE pniazas IX
Hats, Caps, Furs and Straw Goods,
No. 531 Market Street, Philadelphia, Pa
april 3-tf
BARBERING I BARBERING 1
rrt HE subscriber having recontiv re-paint-
I ed limit papered and added new furni
ture to his shop, announces to his custom
ers and the public that he will leave noth
ing undone to give satisfaction and make
comfortable all Who may be pleased to fa
vor him with their patronage. Shaving,
Schampooning; Hair-cutting,
i etc. promptly
attended to. A long experiencen the bar
bering business enables him to promise sat;
isfaction in all cases. W. A. PRICY.,
sept 18-tf
110 1 141 1 111111) MI ' 01kfAM
, • ,
MAIN STREET,
WAYNESBORO, PENN'L
MBE subscriber having leased this well
(' known H Jtel property, announces to
the public that he has refurnished, re-pain
ted and papered it, and is now amply pre-.
pared to accommodate the traveling public
and others who may be pleased to favor
him with their patronage. An attentive
hostler will at all times be in attendance.
May 23-tf SAM'L P. STONER.
COACHMAKING.
PERSONS in want of vehicles of any
de
scription, new or second-handed, can be
supplied at the old "Waynesboro' Coach
Factory" on Church street. The subscrib
er cordially invites those desiring anything
in his line to call and'exinnine his stock
and learn his prices, which he feels warran
ted in saying will compare favorably with
that of any other estabhsftment in the coun
'v.
ty.
REPAIRING of all kinds Will PeReiVE prompt
Attention.
Thankful to the public for past patronage
be solicits a continuation of the same in the
future. JACOB ADAMS.
.siprillo-tf
eecx portrg,
TOB:DATS THAT ARI'DIAD:
The fanlight is bright on the forest and
meadow,
Tho lark and the robin are trilling Weir
song;
The daisies and buttercups border the path
way,
And nod to the summer winds all ilia
day long.
As blue is the sky, and as fair are the flow
ers,
The earth is a wonderful picture out-
spread;
But I turn from the sunlight, the songs , -
. and the blossoms,
And sigh for the beautiful days that are
dead:
Afar o'er the; hill tops the day robed in
splendor,
- Comes forth like a queen from the realm
of the sun,
And the valleys uplift the white veil of
their slumber .
To welcome tlie dawn of a day just begun.
The dew spangled lawn and the glitter
ing forest
-----Drop-gems-at.My...feeLand_CeerjeweLmy
But I long for the freshness and joy'of the
mornings
That came with the beautiful days that
are dead.
Oh sweet vanished days that went out.with
the sunset,
Shall I find ye alone in the land of my
dre,ams—
With the friends and the songs, and the
flashes of gladness,
And your skies mirrored fair on the sil
very streams ?
Shall the heart ever mourn for a song that
is silent,
When sweetest of harmonies o'er it are
shed ?
Shall the dark buried past find no bright
• resurrection ?
Shall eternity bring back the days that
are dead?
glistellautous gtading.
TO BE SKINNED ALIVE,
A RUSSIAN ANECDOTE;
A rich banker named • Sanderland en
joyed • for a long time the favor of the
Empress Catharine II of Russia, but one
day he suddenly saw his house surround
ed by an armed force, led by a commis
sary of the police, who demanded to speak
with him.
"My dear sir," said he to the frightened
banker, "it grieves me deeply to have re
ceived orders'from our gracious sovereign
to execute towards you a severity beyond
anything I have ever yet seen. I know
not what extraordinary offence you have
commmitted, to excite such extremity of
anger in her majesty as to induce her to
command a punishment so horrible and
unprecedented."
"I do not understand a word of what
you are saying," answered the astonished
banker. "I am as much amazed as if
you had fallen from the clouds. What
are the orders you received?"
"I have not the courage to tell you ;
and vet I shall be compelled to execute
them." •
"Am I indeed so unfortunate as to
have lost her majesty's confidence ?"
"Ab, if that were all, sir, you would
not see me so disconsolate. You might
regain her confidence, and-even her
vor, but—" •
"Mimi am to be banished from Rus
sia?"
"That would indeed be a sad misfbr.
tune, yet with your riches you could find
a hospitable reception in any other coun
try, but—"
"Oh, heavens ! is it possible that I am
to be exiled to Siberia?"
"Even from there you might, sooner
or latF.r, be recalled to Russia."
"Perimps then you are going to put me
in prison ?"
"I wish it were so, for then you might
be liberated." .
"Am I. then, condemned to undeigo
the knout?"
"The knout is a dreadful punishment,
to.be sure, but not always fatal."
"Then, oh i then, you would lead me to
death! tell me plainly;
this suspense is
worse than death itself."
"Know,.then, that your most gracious
Empress has given orders to take off' your
entire skin."
"To take off my skin!" exclaimed S t an;
derland, seized with horror—"to flay me
alive?" But gaining.his self-posiession,
lie added, "No, no—it cannot be; either
you have lost your senses, Mr. Commis.;
sary, or your must benign mistress has
lost hers. Is it possibleyou made no an
swer. when you received such crael or
ders
"I did more than any other would have
dared to do. I did not conceal• my grief
and surprise. I lingered in the imperial
presence, and bad actually begun an bum
ble remonstrance to her Majesty, when
our gracious sovereign turning to look on
me, with a look and voice of anger, bade
me begone and perform her will. I still .
seem to hear these threatening and 'ap
palling words: "Go, and never forget
that it is your indispensable duty to exe•
cute without questioning the commands I
think you worthy of receiving from me."
ZiI.IIIILY MiIIirePAPEW,MEVOTSZO TO' IZTRIEULTInIVOi 1140041 . 11 AZED.GENERAL NrAWS.,EXCro,
*•,,•;"P•(*)` •
BoRoP minus COUNTY, PA
WAYS
It is iMpdan tO escribp eagitaben,
the anguish,'or ble
:daipairi o th f 'le ilrior.
Banderlatid. !Mier ballad fora tuae given
vent to the idolernie of his' distress, the
commissary told him that he was allowed
a quarter : of anhoUr to settle his'-affaira.-
In ' - iain'the• banker prayed' fora longer
period, or at least an oppertunitYlo write
to the. Empreess - arid:implore her eternal:-
. al lAi ' s
•6 - • mlilmeor-the
consetinencei to' his like, he Consented; and
he immediately followedthe latter himself,
but not having-courage to . presenthimsel,
at court, he went to seek his friend and
protector,' Count BrUCS.
The count thoughethat the commissary
must have made'a mistake, and took him
directly to. the 'imperial 'palace. There
leaving him in ante•chamber, lie-obtained
admission to the presence ofthe Empress,
to whom herelated the whole 'affair. '.
What was his astonishment to hear the
Empress exclaim : "Just heaven what'
atrocityl there can be no doubt that Niec
loff (the commissary) is mad. Quick,
Count ! take the horse before it is too late
and, deliver my poor banker from his a
larni,.and assure him of my favor and
good wishes." -
The count hasten'd to communicate the
order to the• commifflary, and' was yet
more astonished 'on returning to the pres
ence of the Emprem, to hear her exclaim,
amid bursts of loudeSt laughter. .
"Now I understand the- cause of the
strange and incomprehensible scene. I
have for several years had • a fine dog,
which I valued highly, and had given him
the name of Sanderland, both for the sake
o jOre - turnirguod - banker, and also-i
ii I li.o I :I
that name from ivhom I obtained the dog.
Early this morning I gave orders to Niee
loff to, take off his skin entire, in, order to
have it stuffed as poor , t mg was ea..
He seemed to hesitate whether to obey,
and I was angry, because I thought it
was silly pride on his part.
Trusting to Luck.
There are many who, ignoring _the re
sults of energy, enterprise, industry, econ
omy, and circumstances, are wont to at
tribute good fortune to "luck." There
may be such a thing tis luck, but we lack
any considerable amount of faith in it.--
A man draws a prize of half a million in
a lottery, and, of course; - - is geherally re
garded as a lucky man ; but, after all,
can his success be • attributed to any ape
cial seen or hidden agency ? He may have
made ventures of a similar character bun
dreds of times, and always with failure
as a result ; and he might go on and
make hundreds of. more 'similar adven
tures without winning a second half-mil
lion prize.
A man' fails 'to 'renew his insurance,
and an hour after its expiration his prop
erty is destroyed by fire. "Bad luck,'
cries the unfortunate. ,No such thing ;
it is simply the legitimate consequence of
negligence. Circumstances favor a weak
commander; and he achieves a great' vie.
tory. "Lucky fellow," cries the world.—
Some men are indefatigably industrious,
shrevid and economical, but they never
grow rich; while others, like Midas of old,
convert everything they touch into gold.
This aitseeins luck, and for want of a
more appr late term, let us so cosider
er it.
But is it well to place dependence up
on this Janus-faced agent that controls,
as many believe, "the destinies of men ? It
is well to sit down and complacently-fol
ding the hands, "trust to luck ?" 'Remem
ber that where fortune' thrusts itself once
upon a man who has not labored to win
it, she ten thousand times Over bestows
her favors where they more rightfully be
long. All who strive will not win ; but
few succeed who do not strive! The gods
help those who help themselves, allowing
the "trusting-to-luck" class to work their
way out of the mire as they best can.
If you would triumph over obstacles
you must battle with them. If a stream
interposes between you and your main ob
ject, and no convenient or agreeable
means of crosssing .it offers, you must
plunge in, buffet its waves, and with as:tilt
strokes gain 'the desired point. If you
are destined to 'be lucky, rest assured that
your day of good fortune will not be re
tarded because you are honest, industri
ous and persevering.
Curiosities of the Moon.
. The most powerful telescope presents
the moon so far off that only the larger
objects on its surface can be seen. But a
hotogrityli 'gives us here some assistance.
buck a picture presents all the minute
details, and these'cau be magnified by a
powerful microscope. The latter may
magnify many millions of times. Now,
Placing a minute section of such a moon
photograph under such , a microscope,
there appears no obstacle to our penetra
ting all the mysteries of the moon, even
down to the smallest rabbit that may in
habit it, were it nut for the unfortunate
filet that the smoothest surface known to
science becomes so rough under the micro.
scope as to' obliterate all photographic
impressions there may
,be on it. Nature
supply, or art be able to furnish
some surface that,will remain smooth wit
der the microscope, and that material is
the object now to be found. A French
scientist thinks obtained it in the
silk-like goes of the common milkweed,
reduced.by a Chemical solvent to a pulp,
and then manufactured into, paper. It
has answered so far every purpose, and a
first copy taken by the camera -afforded
undeniable proof that the moon is inhab
ited, by a queer race, that need neither
air nor water to preserve life. But, ow
ing to the fact that the photograph was
taken when the moon was in full., the in
habitants presented an appearance like
that of flies on a ceiling, so that nothing
could be seen of them but the crowns of
their beads.
MEM
. , „
• Origin of, the Namenf Staten.
There' is isiilch " that ` is "
I .study" of the origin or the names of the
States of the Union, .as they axe derived
from,a variety of sources. To begin in
the geographical order we srst, have, ,
Maine, which tikes its name from the
province Of Maine, in Frame, 21344E1050'
called in compliment to the Queen!; of
-Charietailleinietfaiita-hwue
New Bampshireftist called ,LatiOnia
—from Hanipshire; England.
Vermont, froth , the Green Mountains,
tin French, vent moat.) ,
Massachusetts, frqm 46e. , Indian lan
gunge, signifying, "The Country about the
great bi L"
Rhode Island gets its' mains from the
fancied resemblance' of-. the island to' that
if Rhodes in the ancient Levant.
Connecticut's name was Mohegaetspelf
ed originally; "Quon-eh taecut,' signifying
"A Long giver." "•2
New, Ynrk was so unman B- comPik
merit tO the Duke Of York, whose r ,hipth.
er, Chailes,ll, ceded him 'that territory.:'
New Jersey was named hy one''of its'
original proprietors; Sir George Carteret,
after the,Uhuld of Jersey, in' the British,
Channel, of which he was governor.
Pennsylvania, as is generally known,
takes itikname,from William genni:the
"sylvaaia" meaning woods. •
Delaiere derives its name from Them.'
as West; Lord &la Ware, Goveniot of
Virginia.' '
Maryland receives its name from. the :
Queen of Charles 1., liennietta .7 lWe... ,
Virginia gets its name from s ueen
-- Elizabetkthtruntamihxl—nrl. - •
ueen.:
The,Carolinas were.named in honor of
Charles' I. Georgia in honor .cif Charlei
Fltrida gets its name from thulium de
Flores, or "Feast of the Flowers."
' • Alabama comes from a Gregk word
signifying landof reat.7 ,
Loumana—named in &Mar of Lot&
Mississip . piderives its name from thit
of the great river, which. is, in-the IQatch•.
es tongue; "the Father of the,Waters."
Arkansas is derived from'. the Indian
word Kansas, "Smoky Water," with the
French prefix of ark, "a bowl"
Tennesse is an Indian name, meaning
"The river with the big bend." 2 '
Kentucky—an Indian. namer—"Kain
tuck-ee," signifying "At the head of the
river."
.Ohio—Shawnee name-for "Beautiful
River." .
Michigan's name was derived from the
lake, the Indian name for a fish .weir- or
trap, which the shape of the lake sug
gested.
'lndiana's name is derived from that of
the Indians.
Illinois' name is derived from the In
dian' word "Illinois" men, and the French
athx "eis," making it "Tribes of Men."
Wisconsin's name is said to be the In
dian for a wild, rushing thannel.. -
Missouri is also an Indian name for
muddy, having reference to the
muddi
ness of the Missouri river.
Kaman—the Indian_ name for smoky
water.
The derivation of the'nanum of Nebras
ka and Nevada is unknown.
lowa signifies, in the Indian language,
"The drowsy ones," and Itlinnesota "The
Cloudy Waters.",
The origin of the name Of California is
unknown.
Danger of being a Rich Man'a Son
The following . sto . ry slid to bestriet
ly true :
Mr. P., a wealthy Man; retired from
business, was urged by a friend to engage
in a merchantile scheme, from which large
profits were apparent. "You are right,"
said he, "as regards the probable enema
of the scheme; but I shall not embark in
if. I have too much money already.
He was-asked-to 'explain, and then re
marked :
"Yea; I would not cross the street to
gain thousands. I should be happy if
my income were less. lam old, andin a
year or two whatever I poems will avail.
me naught. • My daughters are dead, and
I have three sons whom I dearly.love.—
Iv own education had been neglected . ;
ray fortune, gained by honest labor'and
careful economy ; I had no time for eta=
dy, but I resolved that my eons should
have' every advantage. They each receiv
ed a classical education, and , then I gave
them a choice of a profession. The oldest
would be a •physician ; the second , chose
the law; On third resolved to follow, ;my,
foot-steps as a merchant. I wawpraud of
my sons, and trusted one day to see
,them
distinguished, or at , least .ussful to their
fellowmen. I spared no expense in 'their
training; they hadnever. wanted money
for I gave each a liberal allowance. Nev
er had , men fairer opportunities; but , look
at the result. The physician had no' pa-'
-dents; the, lawyer, no clients; while the
merchant—instead of following my exam
ple—iii above visiting his counting-room 1
In vain I urge: hem to great diligence,—
What is the ? "There is no,use,
father—we she, ne er want money ;- we
known, you have ,e ugh fee all.", 'Thus,
instead,ofbeing,use 1 and energetic mem
bare of soejety,.. my sous, are mere idlers
and; men of vain display. - Had they been
forced. to struggle against difficulties to
gain their profeasiene, and were they even
now / dependent upon their own , exertions
for support,.they would; in'all probabili
ty, do credit to themselves and me."
,
There is a clue of make-believe friends
in every community, who are always rea
dy to. pump you to any extent, if •you will
only place the handle in their bands, or
furnish a leaky bucket, to pour your trou
bles into, under • a , pretended friendship,,
and then use ihein to youriojnry; if possi
.ble. From such deliver us.
`iiIeRSIAT, NOUN= 27, 1873
Sozie at a 6t. : Louis Bank.
"Ver ish der gasheer ?"- ejaculated the
'breathless Teuton as he bounded up the.
~ s teps and in the door.
.. A '-enuitlY gentleman made the bland
respoinkt, "li. am the cashier, sir ; • what
can we do for you to-day'?" •
gan you do vor me, sacrement !
Dot jab- a pooty node, aind it? Do vor
e ? Her-Got-donnervetter-und-zeifen
blizen! I vants dot monish 7 -mine gold
vot I make deposit`mit dis her pan poor
ty adon last summer, -und—','
"We hive temporarily suspended paY;
:meat, sir; by, an arrangement similar—"
',"Arrangements similar, der 'Myra I"
-brOke-ia-ourjlebrew-friend-r"vat-do
'net mit year *augments ?' I vantsdot
monishhi.--ftire tousand dollar vat I make
deposid here all der vile , and I vants him
pooty quick, too; oof you dond milts some
droobles right avay I" - -
• "Calm yourself, nirfriend, andlet us
:tallt , this matter over. I shall be glad to
certify youvehecks, for your balance with
Us, and-"
, • "Certify nodings I Vat you tinks I vas
one: fool? . Here, here 1 (pounding the
counter with-his-fists) I vents dot monish
gold7-LefrY cent, and I vents him
'right awaycqueek, owt, oder I make you
a beep o' droobles pooty soon r Gif me
dot monish—dot greenbacks—dot ish all
vantl '11%6 him elf 'queek, midi. go
Tight away off, and
,you can go mit - der
tayfel:imd your old bank I"
aging therawasno - way of reasoning
With his excited- cuitomer, the cashier
tinned to. his ming teller and said: "Mr.
----orash-Ttlus-maa'srcheek-for-his-bal--
apes in uI .
The Chicago dealer in "sheep cloding"
nervously diew up his cheek and the un
bine teller counted out the sum it called
for. The Teuton drew in one good long
breath, counted his money carefully, put•
it in his breast pocket, and went his way
a happy man.-. The went back to
'Ms office, and heti been seated there some
'Minutes when thiprominent nasal appen
dage' of his Teuton customer again over
shadowed , the counter and his voice was
again beard :
4 11 r. Gasheer, I vood like to speak mit
vou - some dings."
Thinking that perhaps his customer had
recovered from,.his fright and desired to
redepoilit hiafunds, the cashier responded
quickly and came forward to the counter.
what is the matter now?"
'"Vell, you see, yen I hear about dis
'dings . mit, der packs I was in Shecago,
und I must gum righd avay queek'here
and I dhinks dot it vill be all righd yen
you-bay mine leedls expenses down here
und pack home uud—.'
"Pay your expenses!" broke in the
cashier. ' 'Pay' your expenses ! Well,
thatis an idea tol be sure. - 'Bee here, may
friend, bow_ many brass bands do you sup
pose could be supplied with instruments
from thittoheek of yours, and then have
bronze enough. left to make an 'equestrian
statue of jim Fisk ? About how many
six-gumbstteries of twelve-pound NaOsal- .
eon howitzers were Melted down to` make
that cheek,'anyhow ?" ,
The' exciteil individual from Chicago
eyed his interlocutor with the injured air
of one who thinki he has been refused a
very reasonable request, and then sadly
preceded his coat
,tails out of that bank.
He had'got his money--Se. Louis
'
What recollections cluster around the
memory as Saturday night. while the un
ceasing roll of time, again pays its weekly
visit.. The weary labor of the week over,
the tired mortal sits down and meditates
upon the 'ups and downs' of the world
and the vicissitudes incidental to this mun
dane_ sphere, while the wind in fitful gusts
brings down the Autumn colored leaves
in thick profusion, and howls musician' ,
around his habitation. Saturday:night and
the pattering rain drops sing a moiliziful
requiem to the death of another week;
Saturday,. night, and the heart of many ,
a wandering bachelor turns with fevered
longing for a hoise and fireside of his own
Saturday night, and the wily ,lawyer shuts
his book, lays abide his half finished brief;
Saturday night, and the speculating mer
chant chilies his ledger,' lookii the door of
his massive iron' safe; Saturday , night; and
the brain racked printer quietly smokes
his tobacco stained pipe as 'fill thoughts
run lazily—not gaily, not padly —back
to the memory of Saturdays gone in the
long ago, of Saturdays Yeti° come; Satur
day night, and all unitedly thank - God
that to morrow will cone the rest of the
holy, quiet Sabbath.
A Krss rs A PlMlESE:—.The.highest ju
di,c,i4 tribunal of the State of New York
hos just rendered a decisirin which Makes
kissing and flirting And casting asheep's-,
eye?' a'daagerous business. - In a recent
case Judge Neilson charged that no words
were, necessary I to-constitute an engage
ment, but."the gleam of the eye and the
conjunction of the, lips are overtures, when
they becciine, frequent and protracted,
which amount' to-a promise of marriage."
Th a eiory, always eager to do a thing which
sh be gallant, gavAßozelena, the plain
tiff, 16,000 for the wear and tear of 'her
_lips and affections. This decision was con
firmed- the.Ceurt. of Appeals. A Des
Moines,,lowa, paper says that "there is
now only one way left for the . young pea
ple to enjoy the pleasures of kissing' and
Escape the possibilities of contracting a
-marriage promise, and that is for the un
married men to , : kisa the married ladies,
and the unmarried girls to kiss the marri
ed men. We vote for the latter.
The well -of the future was woven by
the gentlest of all hands --those of Mercy.
No one can defsult•desth. — Fle maybe
put off with long note, put will 'even ttial ly
got kin own, •
Saturday. Night.
A Quaker to his Watchmaker.
Roam) WOoxrxx herewith send
thee my pocket clock which qtly sten:
deth'in need of thy friendly \correction;
'the l'asttime he was it thy friend's school
he was no ways reformed, nor ever in the
least 'benefittea' thereby; for' 'I pereeive
by the index of his mind that hobs liar;
and the truth Is not in 'him Ohlit his
-motions-are- wavering-or—iiregular,--thate
bis pulse is sometimes quick, betokening
not an even temper, at times he wavetb,
is eluggishe, notwitbstanding that I - fre: l
fluently urge him ; when he should be on ,
illus'i_ 'or
as thou knoweth his name de:l
' notetb, I find 'him slumbering and.fileep-
o- • ut, ras the vanity of human, rens*
Va
7'6 2 •
-pbraseth it, I catch him napping. Hence,
I think he is not right in the inward man.
Exairiine him, therefore; and prove hini,
I beseeoh thee, thoroughly, that thou
mayst, being well acquainted with inward
frame and disposition; draw him froin the
error of his ways, and show him' the path
whereiri he should go. It grieves me to
think, and when'l ponder thereon; I'am
verily of the opinion that his body, is_foul
and the whole mass is corrupted.' Cleanse
him, therefore; with thy charming physic
from all pollution that be may vibrate '
and 'circulate according to truth; I will
plade him a few days under thy care, and
pay for,bis : board as thou requirest it. I
entreat thee; friend Charles to demean
thyself of l this occasion with a right judg
ment' according to 'the gift which is in
thee, and prove thyself a' workman that
need not be ashamed. And when thou
layest, the correcting hand on him, let it
without-pa,ssiolOest-thou drive-himto-,
estruction. Io t ou regu ate his motion
for the time to come by the motion Of that
light that ruleth the day, and when thou
findeit him converted from the_error of
his ways, and Ore conformable to the a
bove-mentioned rules, do thou send hini
hoine,.with just bill of charges, drawn out
by the spirit of moderation, and the root
of evil shall, be sent thee.
A. Nashville man had occasion to go to
Memphis, over the Northwestern road,
last week. There were but few passen
gers aboard, and during the night the
conductor came and sat by him, "Ggin'
to Memphis, are you, stranger ?" he asked.
"Yes; 'sir," said the Nashville man.
"Mighty rough road, ain,t it ?" 'queried
the conductor, with a yawn. "Very,"
was the reply. "Last time I went over
this road this car we're in new wasupset,
and a man killed all to'smash," said the
communicative ticket pincher, :with a
nother yawn. Then he added : "I've got
the most reckless' engineer' on' the road
with me to-night, but I hope we won't
have any, accidents." "I certainly hope
we Will. not," 'responded the passenger,
with a slight feeling of uneasiness: "Well,
I. don't know as it would make much
difference to Vogl," said the conductor,
cheerfully. "You'll die anyhow if you're
gehe to Memphis."—Nashville Union and
.Ameriean.
Counisam—Very few of our young
lady readers are conversant with, themo
dus operandi by , which a young man may
be 'entrapped' by their fascinating charms.
We will - here - endehvor to give. them our
view of the manner in which it should be
done, and by 'the practice of which' a lover,
may be caught in 'love's silken net" • A
lover should be treated with the same gen
tleness as a new glove. The young , 'lady
should pull him on with the utmost ten
derness at first, only making the smallest
advance at a time,,tall she gradually gains
upon him and twistshim ultimately round
her little finger; whereas, the young lady
who is hasty and in too great a hurry, will
never get-a /over to take her hand, but
be left with nothing but her wits at her
finger's ends.
Vev's'LFserro.—The length of days
in thwoorth,of Europe is as follows: At
Hamburg the congest day has Seventeen
hours and.the, shortest seven. At Stoek
holm, the longest has eighteen and a half
hours, and the shortest live and a half.—
At St:'retersburg, the lon,geit has 'nine
teen and the shortest five hours.' At Fin
land the longest twenty-one hours and
one half, and the shortest two and one
half hours. At Wondcirbus, in Norway;
the day lasts from the 21it allay to the '
2d of July, the sun not getting below the'
horizon for the whole time, but Skimming
along very close to it in the North. At
Spitzbergen;the longest day lasts three
months and a half.
DEXPERENCE LEKSHI7R.--Don't look
of dot lager when it bin red, when it vas
given poorty Much goler iu dot bier glass,'
and when he vas`moviu all rite; 'for of
herlast be sting lib MOD pumblebeeoind
bites like a newfounthmd bull-dorg. No
drunken.feller don't got by dot kintom
von heafen in. Who got droubles ?, Who
gots ffghts ? Who got blue eyes, and red
noses ? Guess once, Vel/, I told you.--
Dem fellers vat hangs around Odell* lick
er-gin mills, and drinker* mired trinks,
like hot Thomas and ! Jeremiah, for in. ,
stint; don't, it?
I,Jf you don't fought more von your
seventeeuvifes and one children and to
getting drunk, it vas patter you, gone
dead, py gracious. , 2
Don't you . bin ashamed mit vourselfar
you vas cumin' home on a . gonbleo'clock
in der morning time, and don't could find
der keyholes ? • - - • .
Dew veu you vas drying ; pooty much
how Imo pool dem boots of mit ein mod•
brush, undolean dem ponds- mit. a jack .
: boot—don't you bin, drunk den P. Ain't it ?
.1 vao bin.a little hoarse, so I don't. could .
'rite no morelecksbur.
Who dreads to lager next ? •
A lady, says a Western editor,-hnejust
sent us a basket of fruit, the very sight of
which; she thinks, must make us smack
our lips. Wk.:thank her. and would
greatly prefer*Wang hers. •
•
82,00 PER YEAR
NUMBS'24
Vtit-aud Sutte-r.
What is better, than a ; piece of bread.
when une is hungry ? ' Two pieces. •
. . ,
"Is this clean butter ?" inquired a gro
cery keeper of a green' one from the
_coun
try. • "Gum it ort to be," Was the reply,
"for it took the old woman' and boo'
-df on
riday to pick th'e hairs oui
ever since
The Danbury NC= man states that .
the panic 'has so far abated as to permit an .
.Essex street man to return to ten cent ci
gars, and he ho is another moath,if_
e ess continues to increase, to get
his boy's boots- halfsoled.
Counsel (to witness)—Now, sir, what
is the character of the plaintiff in this
suit ? '
Witness—Her character is Slightly
matrimonial.
Couniel—What do you mean by. a
slightly. matrimonial character ?
Witness—She's been married seven
times? . •
"And so le have taken the teetotal
pledge; have ye ?" said one 'lrishman to
another.
"Indade I have, and am 'not ashamed
of it either."
"And did not Paul' tall; Timothy Z to
take's, little nine for his stomach"
"So he did ! But, then, my name's not
Timothy, and there's nothing the matter
with my stomach, bedada,'
a oma own
on the Mississippi, `saved a nuin's life the
other day in a queer . way. was fish
ing, and tumbled out ehis boat, and ha.
ing unable to swim, wolild haveeFished
had not the maiden, discovering,his, dan
ger,
swam out to him, and throwing into
his hands her back hair, foux foot in
length; towed him to the land.
Toon MB Anvicr.—A certain young lay'
who was undermining her constitution by; ,
keeping late'hOurs, was, told by he phy-.
sician that she least retire early and rise •
early, if she wanted to recover her health.
Following his advice, she discharges her •
young man every night at eleven o' Clock s
now, and rises in_the morning at ,eight. .
Slime sacrifice must be made, she says, -
When one's lealth-,is stake.
Tifouarri-- - -Thought is the electricity
of the brain. It shoots to the remotesepel
ziod of history, and touehes.the first link
of life. It passes through the elements of,
fire, air. earth and waters it.penetratin to,
the depths of - knowledge and' rises • tithe''
gates of ' Thought's - an infinitesi:
mal ray of the Deity, bestowed. •on .hu.
manity. It returnsto Him from sompp.,
titzle to
,a spiritual, existence. .Wtivate,
it, and you will be refined; neglect " t and
you will be.debased. -
Some time ago an Irishman • was con.-
victed of ifelony, and sentenced , to death.
On the dap it was to be earri4 into
fect he ' rece ived a reprive -his. •iiiriocerreo
having, after be en satisfactorily. •f;
estabhshed. The fellow had .wrfe,
terrible 'vixen,, who lived-at a
• distrinee t „.
and whose presence he dreaded more than.
death. ,With a hope. of' acc'oinpliabineal
final sepanation;•he wmte‘to her the
after he received ,:the .reprieve,-withthe • .
following effect : . •
Dear , Mary—l was hanged yesterday
and died like wrnen. No more at pres •
-
ent from your loving husbund, till death'
does us part.
. ,
MICKINC) A A GATE4C.FLEP,Ert.rs.
strel, riding , a pumpkineolored 'Sorrel;
perpetrated a heavy, !telt on a : -toll . gate
keeper one day.• He rode ppaiiebserved.
and turned his horse's face about, direct,-
17 opposite the direction he , wanted to
called to the toll keeper, , who.l this time
had_come out, "What is, thatoll I'7
"Tsrenty eente,", replied the, tell. geti
keeper. . ,
"Too high," replied the solitary- horse.
man ;,-"cant pay it. • Guess nig° back."A" •
Re turned his horse about and proceed- ,
ed in Precisely the direction he wanted to,'
go, the tolkeepar never 'clresinineef '
Jimneleiei e , gnOil
disposition ihick-headed sort - Of a 'teflon.,
and. was the butt of the'girls in his neigh
borhood. The most brilliant thing-An
ever said was, when some of the fair teme.,.
ers questioned him. one day' in , regard to ,
his powera of memory. • .
"flow far back in . your lifetime tan
you remember, . Jim?"
. "Oh; ,I, can remember the day I • was. ,
born," was his reply. ' -
"The day you was bOrn!" entlahned
one of the young ladies of the party. '• .h
"Why, Jim, what can you remember;
of that day ?"
' "Oh ! I.remember very distinctly, that
on the day, t'was born, I ant on 4 little
stool in the corner of the are plabe and:
cried for fear . I.'was, a OW." ' '
WidtE Alitetrar.—,a,i t ooildooking Irish
man stripping at a tolel warm himself,
inquired of the landlord—
" What is the news !"
The lanAlord, disposed to ran upon him,
replied-:-
"They say the devil is dead."
"An' sure," Says Pa, "that's dews
• , ,
, Shortly after, la went to the.bar„ laid
. acwti souls coPpere, and resumed
seat. The landlord, always ready Tor '
customer, asked him what he Iscaild take:
- - "Nothing at ail," said Pat •
"Thou why. did you put down this nto.,
"AU' sure; sir,' it'a the *custom - in rem
own country, when a chap loses Me dadoik
to give him a few coppers to help Ivivavig_
for tha inks."
Z • 1"110,:'